Originally published on the website Clean Sheets, 01/11/2006
How I Became a Sex Therapist By Bacteriaburger
I worked with this guy who said nobody'd ever been able to give him an orgasm.
"That's bullshit," I said. "Only chicks have never had orgasms."
No, he said. He'd had orgasms from jacking off, but he didn't enjoy jacking off. And though he'd had his fair share of sex, he could never come from it.
I ordered us up another beer. He admitted that he hadn't had an orgasm in all of two years.
"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard," I said. Kip was this hot young guy in his mid-twenties, and you'd just assume he was getting his rocks off on a regular basis. He was a little blond stud, with a smooth, toned swimmer's build, a choir-boy face with clear blue eyes and a killer smile. He was a fine specimen of manhood. But he couldn't get off, and he didn't know why.
The thing about this particular guy -- I'd had the hots for him ever since he'd started waiting tables at the restaurant. He came across as straight . . . but not straight enough, at least to my trained eye. I'm head chef, and a couple of times I'd almost cut off a finger, staring at his hot little ass running in and out of the kitchen. Finally, I'd invited him out for a beer and started grilling him on his personal life. And what was I coming up with? He'd had sex, but he'd never had an orgasm from sex.
He'd slept with girls, but he'd never had a girlfriend.
And -- jackpot -- he'd messed around with guys, but never below the waist.
Never below the waist? That threw me for a loop.
"He was my best friend," he explained. "He and his girlfriend invited me to . . . you know . . . join in, one night." He was all about fucking the girl, but when it came to his buddy, he wanted wasn't sure if he could deal with all that that entailed. "So we kept it above the waist. We kissed and everything, and it was hot. I felt closer to him afterwards."
Kids today, I'll tell you -- somethin else. But I had a little surprise up my own sleeve. I'm a tough-looking Italian dude in my late thirties, with a barrel chest covered in tattoos. People assume I'm straight. What can I say? I've got a big set of balls and an even bigger attitude. I can be pretty forward when I want to.
I said, "I bet I could give you an orgasm." Kip was so shocked he nearly sent a mouthful of beer across the bar. I just slapped him on the back and laughed.
I told Kip how much I liked eating ass. I asked him if he'd ever been eaten out.
"No . . . " he said, but more than that, I could tell it was something he'd never even fathomed.
"I could do it all night," I said. "Eat ass, I mean."
"Really?" he said, a glimmer in his eye.
"Want to find out?"
For a guy who supposedly doesn't enjoy sex, Kip didn't take much persuading.
"Sex makes me nervous," he'd said. I told him it wouldn't be sex; we could just beat off together.
Plenty of porn at my place, I said. We could just put some on, lay back and stroke it. Just come back to my place.
"All right," he said. We got out of the bar real quick and rode off in my truck. The ride was a treat, for sure. The anticipation was palpable. By the time we pulled up to my house my wet spot had soaked through my underwear.
I threw on some porn and took a seat beside him on the couch. As the movie kicked into gear, I reached over and felt what he had going. Wonder of wonders: the boy was already rock hard.
"Good movie," Kip explained.
"Yeah, whatever," I said, and pulled him toward me. I'm not sure why -- maybe all that pent-up come went into his brain and out his lips -- but that boy could kiss! Kip held on to my shoulders as I shoved my tongue into his mouth. I could've made out with him forever, but eventually we had to move onto more important business.
"Take out your dick," I said. "Let's beat off."
I was moving carefully. I felt like I was taking his virginity, after all. I didn't want to fuck it up by going too fast.
But, good Lord, once I saw the monster cock on him it was all I could do not to impale my throat on it. It looked like it was carved out of ivory, thick as a baby's arm and twice as long. For him not to use that beauty to full capacity was a damn shame, and I pledged to myself that by the end of the night we'd have him all fixed up.
I'm no slouch in the cock department, myself, so I gave Kip a nice little show of sliding off my undies and pulling on my big bull balls.
He was fascinated. "Your nuts are huge," he said.
"They're brewing one hell of a load right now," I said. "Feel how heavy they are."
He hefted them in his hand, and I'll be damned if his own cock didn't pulse a little. My mission to pump a load out of Kip was off to a good start.
I sat back on the couch and rested my big, hairy thigh against Kip's lanky leg. Kip had his hand wrapped as far around his thick pole as it could go. It stood up hard and proud from a nest of blond pubes. He teased the head, squeezing out drops of precome and using them to lubricate his shaft.
I kept a steady, slow rhythm on my own fat hog, tickling underneath my hairy balls. I reached over and felt Kip's smooth chest with my rough palm. I tweaked his pink nipples and pulled him toward me, bringing our mouths together.
We kept it above the waist for a while longer, pulling on our respective puds and sucking each other's lips and tongues. But I couldn't resist his tool for long, so I palmed his piece and gave it a healthy stroke. Kip didn't resist. In fact, he moaned into my mouth.
I squeezed that thick throbbing dick in my hand, jacking it slowly, while I fondled his quivering balls. I put my palm up to my face and spit in it, got his shaft all nice and slick. My fist moved up and down his cock like a well-greased piston.
But that fat tool was just too hot, so I took a quick dip down and licked the precome off the tip. Very sly. Kip gasped, but he didn't resist, so I went right back down and wrapped my lips around the throbbing head of his cock. Slowly, I slid his hot slab into my mouth, taking it all the way down my throat. When my nose was buried in his pubes, I used my tongue to massage his shaft.
"Feel good?" I asked when I came up for air.
"Yeahhhhhhh," he said, his pale blue eyes rolling back in his head. I bobbed on his prick a few more times, feeling Kip relax underneath me. He spread his legs, and when I reached down to feel his balls, he raised his hips and my fingers slipped down to the space underneath them.
I backed off. Kip stared down at me, on the verge of revelation. "I usually get distracted when I have sex. I guess right now I'm just really horny . . ." He didn't need to elaborate. I knew what he was thinking, what he really wanted. I couldn't wait to give it to him.
"So, Kip," I said, "you want me to eat out your ass?" I sensed Kip's heart nearly leaping out of his throat.
"Yeah, yeah, I guess so," he said, trying his damnedest to be calm and impassive, but the turn-on was written all over his face. His ass was his final frontier, the forbidden zone. Just the thought of my tongue in his hole had him ready to come.
"Get up on your knees," I said. "Let me see your ass. Yeah, spread `em. Fuck, that's a nice hole!" It sure as hell was. A tight pink pucker with just the lightest dust of blond hair. A feast the likes of which even my cooking skills couldn't equal. I couldn't wait to chow down.
Kip was beside himself. Just spreading his hole open for me had him in a lather. I pulled his tight ass cheeks apart and ran my tongue around the outer ridge of his smooth hole. Kip jumped, so I grabbed his hips to keep him steady. I swirled my tongue around and around his squinch.
Finally I dove in, spearing his tight pucker with my rough tongue. Kip whimpered and nearly collapsed into a heap of sexed-up goo.
I made a feast of that ass, burying my face in it, using my whole tongue to lick up and down his crack and darting it in and out of his butthole. Sometimes Kip would tighten up and jerk his cock real hard, other times he'd let go and my tongue would slide as far in to his loose-as-a-goose hole as it could.
Inevitably, as they say, the worm turned. Kip was humping my face like he'd been transported to another world. Distracted? No fucking way. His butthole had loosened up to the point where, when I daintily placed the tip of my finger against it; his ass just gobbled it up. Kip pushed back until all four inches of my fat finger were inside.
Two fingers in and he was bucking like a bronco. It was time to see if I could give him something more. I lined my cockhead up against his pucker. When Kip felt the blunt end of my tool poking him, his arms collapsed beneath him.
"You want my cock in your ass?" I asked politely.
"Umuhmuh," he moaned into the couch cushion, and backed his ass into me.
"Whoa, bucko," I said, pulling back. "Almost swallowed me."
I slid on a rubber. I greased myself up good, even though his hole was slick enough to take me without it. I slid inside him, inch by inch, and felt that boy's tight tunnel devour every inch of my fat cock. Kip didn't even have a hand on his rock-hard prick by this point. I reached down and felt him. He was oozing precome like yolk from a leaking egg.
I stuck it in him to the hilt, my warm balls squeezing against his ass. He was spreading as wide as he could, eager to accommodate. I pulled back, feeling his tight chute caress my prick. When the fat head of my cock was just inside, I shoved my whole hog right back into him.
Kip groaned.
I steel-rodded him good and hard, and he gave right back to me with every pump. I leaned over and fucked into him, rubbing my hairy chest against his smooth, muscular back, slapping my balls against his. His asshole took my cock like it was meant to be there.
I wanted to give Kip the ride of his life, so I laid back on the couch and stuck him right on top of me. Kip braced himself, and I grabbed the flesh on his thin hips and fucked him like I owned him. I shoved him up and down on my pole, forcing my cock deeper and deeper. He was bouncing up and down on my rod like a horse on a carousel. I took his pole in one hand and his thick balls in the other, and I pumped his cock ever so gently.
I must have hit the spot, because I was barely stroking his cock when the come started flying. I mean flying. I literally fucked the load right out of him. With each thrust of my tool into his pretty little ass, another stream of cum flew out of his cock and onto my couch, my hair, my face, his face, everywhere.
That boy was nearly crying with pleasure. My own load shot at some point, but I was barely paying attention. I'd found the magic button. I'd released Kip from his plight -- and that was payoff enough.
I've been pushing Kip's button quite a lot since that first night. Now that he can get off with another person, he just can't get enough.
The next time was in the cooler at the restaurant.
Kip was all stressed out from waiting tables. To tell you the truth, I needed a little workout myself. I gave him a salami to bite down on before sliding my own salami into his chute. I've become something of his own personal dildo, and I can't say that I mind. When Kip needs something to sit on, I'm there for him.
I even helped him test out some toys he could use when I was out of town. I laid him back on his bed and shoved each one into his hole while he groaned and ground to his heart's content. I got so hot I had to help myself to the other end of the foot-and-a-half long double-dong I'd bought. We lay back on his bed, pounding our asses together onto the dong, jacking ourselves until our loads coated our chests. We'd have been quite a sight.
I've even let Kip have a go at my big butt a couple of times. I need it too, sometimes, you know. And you never would have guessed, but that young'un unleashed a load into my ass without any anal stimulation of his own whatsoever -- just like the stud I always knew he could be.
I was so proud I could've cried.
But you know, I figure it's my duty to help poor, unfortunate souls like Kip. That's just the kind of guy I am.
More stories on my site: www.bacteriaburger.com Email me: bacteriaburger@gmail.com