Comicality here! I've got a brand new one for ya! As usual, any comments or criticisms are welcomed at comicality@webtv.net or stop by my website at http://www.comicality.org (I always anwer eventually!) Enjoy! ------------------------------- "If Only In My Dreams" ------------------------------- It was one of those mid April days where the sun is shining all morning long, making you think you don't need an umbrella or a jacket, and just before it's time for you to go home...armaggeddon! My dad teaches at my high school, so I had to make the decision to either walk home in the pouring rain and get soaked, or wait until 6 when my dad was ready to go and then I could catch a ride in the 'Daddy-mobile'. I was staying, no contest. Not because of the rain so much, but because it meant I'd get a chance to stick around and see...him. Perhaps I should start from the beginning... My name is Jeremy and I'm 16 years old. I've never really been one of those weird primadonna guys who's always in front of a mirror checking out my hair and my clothes and my ego every minute of the day. I just get up, get dressed, and go to school. And for some reason, the ladies think I'm cute anyway. In fact, they often talk to me in class, passing up the guys who spent hours trying to get their attention. I guess it's just my little natural beauty shining through...or whatever. I'm about 5' 8", and pretty slim at 130 pounds. I've got short dark brown hair, soft, but spiked out. People usually say that I remind them of that kid from the movie "Air Bud"...I think that's a compliment. I try to be normal, like everybody else, really I do. I tell the same jokes, ogle the same women, and basically try to fit in wherever I can, but the fact that I have an affection for my own sex kind of prevents me from totally feeling at home here. I just don't feel as attached to them, I'm like a kid playing a sport I don't really enjoy, the one watching everyone else have candy while I'm sitting here sucking on a cough drop. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with who I am, but since I don't have enough faith in the people around me to understand, I'll just keep it to myself for now. But this isn't just about me...it's also about him. He is the reason I rise and fall every single day. He is what makes a weekday better than the weekends and makes me enjoy coming to this dreary hell hole called school. He is the major heartache that fills me with a mix of love and hate, pleasure and pain, optimism and doubt, all at the same time. His name is Steven, and he's been the apple of my eye all year. I've practically been stalking him since the first day I saw him. I always feel so stupid, like my feet won't work, my voice won't work, my head starts to spin, and a task as simple and common as breathing becomes a chore. Can you imagine if we actually had any CLASSES together? The only time I get to see him is in the hallway between periods, through a giant horde of running, screaming school kids and stuck up teachers. I run out of class after every period and wander the halls, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, just a glimpse. Just enough of a fix to fill my heart and keep me sighing until the next time I lay eyes on him. Steven is a bit shorter than me, 5' 3 1/2" to be exact. I told you I was stalking him. Funny what you can learn about other people when you ask the right questions. He was 16 too, but exactly 3 months, 20 days, 6 hours, and 12 seconds younger than I was. Don't ask. He had this awesome mass of shiny light brown hair that just made you want to stare at it all day long, cut to medium length in a preppy style. I couldn't even tell you exactly what celebrity I'd compare him with, none of them seem to do his beauty justice. He had the most hypnotic green bedroom eyes that anyone's ever seen. One day I saw him outside and the sunlight hit his eyes just right, and they sparkled and glowed with such brilliance that it nearly drove me to orgasm on the school's front lawn. His lips looked soooo soft, so remarkbly smooth and fresh. I doubt that kissing Steven would be anything less than a religious exprience. His face was crystal clear, smooth as glass, without a single blemish anywhere. His skin was filled with a sexy tan than made his whole body shine with a slick golden aura. His shy smile could brighten the darkest day, and his slim body was usually draped in white t-shirts and fancy sweaters, travelling down to a pair of khaki pants that displayed the finest teen butt ever built by God's gracious hands. I didn't even know him all that well, but I've never been more in love. It would probably never work out though. There were little differences that kept us apart, like I was a night person and he...he didn't like me. You know, little things like that. I tried to speak to him, time and time again, but I either didn't get the chance, got the chance and chickened out, got the chance and screwed it up, or he just shouted "get out of the way" as he rushed past me. Did it hurt? Omigod, beyond words. But when you love somebody as much as I loved Steven, you keep trying anyway. Even his nasty little comments were better than nothing, at least he was talking to me. He was always carrying this bookbag with him everywhere he went, he never let go of it. He held it close to his side at all times and I never saw him open it, not even at his locker. I often wondered what was in that bag, but he did everything short of handcuffing it to his wrist. I guess it just wasn't my place to know. One day I asked him why he carried that bag everywhere he went, and he said...he said...well, let's not go into what he said, but it wasn't friendly. Let's just say that I had myself a good cry that afternoon. Then came the day that hurt me more than anything. I heard people talking about Steven and naturally joined in to see what other tidbits I could find out about my dream boy. They actually said that he knew who I was! He knew my name, what classes I took, and everything! I was almost overjoyed when they told me what he thought of me. He said I was "annoying." Annoying. Not cute, or funny, or smart, or cool...but annoying. I turned around, my face flushed and red, and sat down at my desk until the final bell rang. That was it, it was over. I had lost. Steven didn't like me...at all. He didn't think about me, he didn't dream about me, and the only way I'd ever be able to share any physical contact with him was if he just one day decided to kick my ass for being so...annoying. That became the single most disgusting word in the English language for me, and if I wasn't such a zombie that day, I probably would have bawled my eyes out. The worst thing in the world is realizing that someone you are willing to give yourself so readily to, doesn't feel the same way. All those days of longing for Steven, thinking of Steven, and jerking off over Steven...was just a waste of my time. It was as though the color in my world had been faded and whisked away to a place just beyond my reach. How can something that was once so wonderful, hurt me so much? A few days had past, or maybe it was a few weeks, who knows? Time didn't matter all that much to me anymore. It was one of those April days where it went from sunshine to hurricane in a matter of minutes, and I was going to catch a ride with my dad. I knew Steven hated me, I knew that seeing him again would only hurt me more and I'd only be torturing myself, but I went to watch him at basketball practice anyway. I don't know why I did it, but maybe, like 40 or 50 years from now, my heart will heal and I'll be able to get on with my life. I watched him and only him run up and down that court in his gym shorts and t-shirt. I never took my eyes off of him, hoping that maybe once, just once, he'd look up into the bleachers and see me sitting there, and then he'd feel bad for what he did to me. It's not like I was asking for endless hours of sex or anything, just a kiss, a smile, hold my hand for Christ's sake! Anything to say, "Hey Jeremy, I don't hate you." 'Sigh'...what a world. After what seemed like an eternity, 6 PM finally rolled around and my dad came down to pick me up. We walked outside to get the car, and there he was. Steven was standing there in the rain with his bag over his head trying to keep dry. It wasn't working. My dad told me to wait there and he left me alone with him, the two of us getting soaked together. He wasn't looking at me, but he had to know I was there. I sneaked a few peeks at his profile, making sure he didn't catch me looking and beat the shit out of me. Then my dad would stop him and get him in trouble with the school which would only guarantee an even worse beating later. Some of his teamates walked by and he said, in that sexy teenage voice of his, "Can one of you guys give me a ride? My mom's on call at the hospital and I don't have my house keys." But they all said they couldn't do it. Some friends huh? Steven stood there in the rain, shivering and basically catching pneumonia right in front of me. I wanted to just hold him, to give him my body heat and make him well, to shelter him from the rain and make everything all right. But the second I opened my mouth to say something, my dad startled me by honking the horn. I hesitated a for a second, hoping that he would ask ME for a ride, but he didn't. So, feeling rejected yet again, I got in the back seat. Dad to the rescue, "Hey, Steven? How are you getting home?" Steven said, "I don't know. I can't go home until 10 o'clock, my mom's on call again." "Well you can't just walk around in the rain for four hours. Come on, you can stay with us until your mom gets home." Was my dad saying what I thought he was staying? Was Steven coming to MY house? I saw him look at me in the back seat and he said, "That's alright man. I'll find a way home." But my dad just told him to stop being silly and get in. So finally, after breaking my heart about a billion more times by refusing the ride, he got in the back seat next to me. Geez, would he rather catch his death of cold and walk around in the pouring rain than spend time with me? What did I ever do to him? I wanted to cut him off, I wanted to feel the same hate for him that he felt for me, but the second he sat next to me, dripping rain water from his sexy brown locks, his shirt clinging to his flat teenage chest, his dark brown nipples hard and erect, poking through...I fell in love all over again. I watched as a single drop of water ran down from his hair, down his smooth cheek, and then trace a line down his long and slender neck, disappearing into the collar of his shirt. It was enough to get me hard immediately. I tried to keep quiet, but eventually decided to say something anyway. "So...nobody saw this rain storm coming, huh?" Steven just kind of looked at me, then he turned his head and looked out of the window. "Nope." "...Probably should have brought an umbrella, huh?" I said, trying to get him to say something, anything. "Yep." He replied, and he turned even more towards the window, turning his back on me and letting me know in so many words that he didn't want to talk to me. Feeling hurt, I decided to just stop trying and take some enjoyment out of knowing he was sitting next to me. I mean hey, it was as close as I was ever gonna get. We got to my house and my dad collected his giant stack of papers and folders from the front seat. We walked in and Steven took off his shoes in the doorway to keep from dripping on the rug. His socks were soaked through and he took them off too. Seeing his bare feet turned me on to no end and I found myself wanting to kiss every inch of them. I was just so obsessed with his very presence that it made me feel like crying tears of joy. But then I remembered the word "annoying", and the tears' purpose would change from joy to sorrow in a matter of seconds. My dad gave us both towels and we dried off enough to come into the living room. I turned on the tv and sat on the couch. Surprisingly, Steven came to sit beside me. I didn't say anything, didn't want to ruin the moment. So I just sat there and for a quick minute, I pretended that Steven and I were friends. Just two buddies hanging out and watching a little tv. It felt nice, I just wish I could talk to him. Nah, why get greedy? I'll just enjoy his company, catch a few quick peeks at his adorable face, and later I'll sniff the cushion he sat on and jack off until my nose bleeds. End of story. "Do you have anything to eat? I'm a little hungry." It almost took me a second to figure out that he was actually talking to me. It caught me off guard. "Um...yeah, sure. We've got some pizza left over from yesterday." I said, then I just sat there and looked in his eyes, his gorgeous eyes. We stared at each other for a few brief moments, and then, just when I thought we were making that special connection, Steven said, "Well?" "Well what?" "Can I have some?" "Have some what?" "Some pizza...helloooo?" That's when I realized that my magic moment had been a fake. Great, before he thought I was an idiot, now he knows for sure. I got up and brought him back a few microwaved slices of pizza and we sat back and watched back to back reruns of the Simpsons. We were actually laughing together during some of the jokes, and it felt good, but as soon as the commercial break came on, we both returned to that silence. That unmerciful silence that reminded me how much he didn't want to be here with me. I was beginning to reach my limit, I really was. My dad suddenly entered the room with his coat on. He said he left his grading sheets and some other stuff and had to go back and get it before it was locked up for the night. Steven jumped up and said he had to really get going. "Don't be ridiculous, Steven. It's still pouring out there and it's only 7 o'clock. Just stay here, I'll be back in about 45 minutes. Jeremy here will keep you company." Yeah, how was I gonna entertain this sweet prince of mine? It's not like I had any interesting hobbies or anything. It's not like he actually wanted to talk to me. As soon as my dad left, Steven just kind of looked at me and sat on the very far end of the couch away from me and glued his eyes back to the tv. I sat there for five whole minutes, wondering what I had done wrong. What was wrong with me? How can he hate me when I love him sooo much? Doesn't he feel it, can't he feel the attraction, the unconditional desire that I have in my heart? I'd give anything just to have the chance to prove my love to him. ANYTHING! Why couldn't he understand that? Then I stopped feeling sorry for myself and the answer came to me in a blaze of fire. It wasn't me at all...Steven was just an asshole! That's all there was to it! Who needs him? Finally I just got up and said, "Look, that's it. I've tried, you know? I really tried! But if you hate me so much, why don't you just go home? Go ahead, my dad's gone, you obviously don't want to be here, nothing's stopping you...go! If you don't want to talk to me, if you hate me that much, then I don't even want you here! So why don't you just go play in the rain!" It hurt, God it hurt, but I said it and walked away to my room. Steven looked surprised to say the least, but I didn't care. I hid in my room and shut the door, waiting to hear the front door close when he left so I'd know when it was safe to cry. But instead, I heard a light knocking at my door. Steven peeked in and then opened the door the rest of the way. He just kind of stared at me for a second, he had this strange look on his face, something I couldn't really describe. He took a deep breath, then he said, "Why did you say that?" "Oh, now you want to talk to me? Whoopee." "Jeremy...just because I don't speak to you all the time...it doesn't mean.." "No, you actually speak to me quite a bit. You say 'out of my way jerk' and 'leave me alone' and a whole bunch of other nice things. YOU...hate ME? I don't know what I was thinking." Steven paused for a long time, then he leaned against the wall and sounded like he was getting teary eyed himself. "You...you don't really think that I hate you...do you?" "You do! You tell everybody how much you don't like me, you never want anything to do with me!" "You really think I hate you?" "Why shouldn't I? You treat me like shit." "I just do that because...if people knew...look...I don't hate you, okay?" "You said you feel 'annoyed' by me!" "I don't feel annoyed by you." "Well then what DO you feel?" "I don't KNOW what I feel!!! I don't know! I just know that it's really...weird and wrong, and as long as you're around, it's never going to go away!" Steven shouted. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a stray tear falling from my eye. "I don't know what it means. I don't know anything anymore. I just...I just don't know how to act around you. You make me feel..." Steven stopped in mid sentence, choking back a sob, and slinked down to the floor, his back sliding down the wall. He covered his face with his arms resting on his knees, and began to cry. "I don't want to be a fag! I don't want to be queer! Ohhh God, this sucks...this really fucking sucks!" The whole thing just didn't make sense to me, to either one of us. I didn't know what to say, what to feel, all I could do was walk over to him and sit next to him on the floor. I threw an arm around him and he struggled with me for a few minutes, trying to get me to stop. He was crying out loud now and flailing his arms trying to get away from me. "Leave me aone. Why can't you just go away? Everything was so simple before you came along. And now I'm all fucked in the head and I'm confused. Just leave me alone..." But I wasn't leaving him, not now. I just struggled with him for a while and finally, he collapsed in a fit of tears and his arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back and rubbed my fingers over his smooth brown hair. He cried into my chest and was sobbing quietly, "I don't hate you Jeremy, I don't hate you." I leaned over and kissed him on the top of the head, his hair filling my nostrils with the sweetest scent of youth. I continued to smooth his hair over and over again, slowly stroking it from the top of his head, down slowly to the back of his neck. I became aware of the fact that Steven wasn't crying anymore, and he was just sitting there in my arms, rocking gently back and forth. I suddenly realized exactly who I was holding here, and my mind became flooded with the entire weight of the situation. Steven, the boy I have loved for so long, was here, in my house, alone. He was in my arms, crying, telling me that he was gay, telling me that he didn't hate me...telling me.... "I love you Jeremy." He said, softly moaning the words into my chest, his voice turned raspy from his tears. I leaned my head back, taken back by the power of his words. I felt tears fall from my eyes and I whispered softly in his ear. "I love you too Steven, and there's nothing weird or wrong about it." Steven never looked up at me, never met my eyes with his adorable gaze, he just simply curled up in my arms and we sat there against the wall. Too scared to move, too scared to sit still. I continued to rub Steven's hair ever so softly and I could feel his tender hands rubbing small circles on my belly. His hands were so incredibly gentle, they made me tremble with his skillful touch. I tried to hold it back, but my six inches would not be contained and quickly rose to it's full length. I hoped Steven wouldn't notice, I mean sometimes erections, even in front of the one you love, can be the most embarassing thing in the world. But what happened next took me to new heights of passion. I felt a little nibble, a slight pinch, and I felt Steven gently kissing and licking my nipples through my shirt. At the same time, I felt his hand slowly move downward, from my belly, to the inside of my thigh, then he glided it up to my erection. He barely touched it, his fingers just grazing its length with the slightest pressure. His hands were shaking, he was so timid and fragile at that moment, I just wanted to give him my life, my soul, anything to repay him for this wonderful feeling inside that he was giving me. He continued to nibble at my nipples and his hand finally got up enough courage to give my aching member a light squeeze. A chill went up my spine like a bolt of lightning and I gasped out loud, startling us both. Steven's head popped up and he looked me in the eyes. His big green pools seemed to shimmer and dance with the beating of his heart. The room fell silent except for the light tapping of the rain at my bedroom window. He moved closer, just a half inch at a time. We had wanted this for so long, and now that we had this moment, it terrified us. We leaned in closer still, until our lips grazed each other, and then without another second's hesitation, we kissed. I couldn't have hoped for more, to say that kissing him was a religious experience was beyond an understatement. His mouth parted a little, and a puff of his sweet breath entered my mouth. I was dizzy with love, weak and strong simultaneously. My heart beat so fast that it nearly choked me with it's enthusiastic contractions. As we shared our sweet kiss, my hand ran down his soft brown hair again, down the back of his neck, past his shoulders, and down to rub his firm back lovingly as he melted in my arms. His tongue made a small and frightened attempt to enter my mouth, and the second he did it, he pulled back out quickly, hoping I wouldn't be grossed out by it. I wasn't. I responded by trying the same, and soon we had our tongues wrapping and writhing together in harmony, our saliva mixing between us, our hot breath passing back and forth and driving us wild. His hand wandered back down to my erection and rubbed it more confidently this time. We had only been kissing, but I wasn't sure how much of this I could take. He broke our kiss and nestled his head back into my chest, looking down at my boner tenting out my pants. The strain of the fabric was almost enough to drive me crazy. He kept rubbing it for a while and then whispered in a sexy, lust filled, teen voice, "Can I touch it?" What was I gonna say? No? I reached down and undid my zipper and pulled down my underwear. My cock sprang out and was decorated by a small dot of shiny precum on the tip. His hand made contact and he just held it for a minute. "This feels cool. I never felt somebody elses before." He gave it a few slow strokes and my legs trembled from the sensation. What made it worse, was that Steven kept talking, his shakey, lovestruck voice kept reminding me that it was him, it was Steven touching me, the boy of my dreams. He kept saying things about my cock, like, "It's soooo warm." and, "It's so hard, but kind of soft at the tip." He said he liked the way it felt in his hands...hell I liked the way it felt in his hands. He liked bringing me to the edge and then stopping before I came. He loved to feel it pulse and twitch in his hands, the torture was unbearable, and I wished it would go on forever. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes for a second and he stopped stroking. I felt him begin to shake gently again, like a scared rabbit, then without warning, I felt a warm moist sensation surround my cock as he took it into his mouth. I nearly screamed when I felt his tongue encircle the head! He took me down to the base and I felt his soft lips wrap around me, brushing against my testicles at the bottom. I couldn't take anymore! The teasing, the rubbing, the touching, the kiss, it was all too much for me, and he only got to the third bob when I tensed up and had the strongest orgasm of my life. My hips raised off of the floor and I came spurt after spurt of hot semen into his mouth while holding on to the back of his head. I was still squirting when my tip got excessively sensitive and while Steven was swallowing, he accidently scraped it with his back teeth. I almost jumped a foot in the air and my whole body shook and spasmed from the explosive climax. When I calmed down and regained my sight, I saw Steven sitting a few feet away from me, amazed at my reaction to his blowjob. Steven giggled a little and said, "Hehehe, was it that good?" "Fuckin' A it was!" "Thanks," He said shyly, "It's my first, you know." There was a short moment of silence and I could see the outline of a sizeable hard on in Steven's pants. My mouth watered for it and I stared at it unashamed, drawn to the delicious image before me. He wanted it too, but didn't want to push me, so he just sort of sat there and let me look at it. "Come here." I said. "What?" He smiled, blushing slightly and looking away from me. God he was so shy. That was such a turn on! "Just...come here." Steven grinned timidly and crawled over to me on all fours. I slid down on to my back and let him hover above me, our lips meeting in a sweet kiss once again, before he lowered himself to grind into me between my legs. I moved my hands down to his squeezable ass and kneaded the soft cheeks playfully as he thrust his hips into me time and time again. He was propped up on his elbows and his breathing was getting short, his moans were getting louder, so I decided to turn him on even more. I slid further underneath him, scooting down between his pushes and pumps, and lifted his shirt to kiss and bite at his dime sized nipples. He gasped and sighed over me as I placed angel kisses over his entire chest. I loved to lick at his smooth skin, tracing my tongue from one nipple to the other. Then I slid down more to stick my tongue into his navel, forcing him to writhe and giggle. Feeling his stomach muscles tighten against my lips from his quiet laughs only made me attack it with more ferocity. Then I scooted down even lower and rubbed my face back and forth across the front of his khaki pants. He was so hot at that point that he laid all the way down on the floor, placing the entire weight of his body on my head as he started grinding erotically into my face. He humped and pushed into me time and time again, his hips waving back and forth, in and out, pushing his cloth covered cock into my face, smashing my nose, bathing me in his body heat. I couldn't hardly breathe, but I didn't need air to survive anymore...I had love. Steven worked back and forth over my face for a few minutes before finally sitting up on my chest. I saw him start to undo the top button on his pants and I became extremely anxious to taste his sexy flavor. I scooted down an inch or two and began to lick at his spongy nutsack through his pants. I darted my tongue out as hard as I could and Steven moaned and whimpered desperately, trying hard to get his pants off as fast as he could. He was in such a hurry that his hands fumbled at the button and a look of animal lust covered his face. I grabbed his ass again and squeezed hard as he finally got the pants open, and he raised up enough to finally get his khakis and briefs down to his thighs. He had a beautiful fleshy cock that was a bright red color at the tip. But I didn't get much time to look at it, because Steven shoved the shaft down into my mouth and began fucking my face hard. My lips and tongue worked their magic as he slid his warm meat in and out of me. His balls were lightly tapping against my chin and I was loving it. He was getting close and whimpering with every thrust, his breathing was gettng louder, and I knew he was close. His ass clenched itself in my hands and his legs tightened up. He came forcefully down my throat and I swallowed it down greedily, never wasting a drop. It took a few moments before he relaxed and rolled off of me, and we just laid there on my bedroom floor, breathing hard and enjoying the greatest moment of our teen lives. After another five minutes of staring at the ceiling, and another ten minutes of kissing that almost suffocated us both, we got dressed and went back to the couch to watch tv. Then, out of nowhere, Steven kissed me on the cheek and said, "I want to show you something." That's when he reached behind the couch and pulled out his bag, that bag that he carried with him everywhere, the mystery case. And for the first time, I saw him open it...in front of ME. He took out an old ratty notebook and handed it to me. "What's this?" I asked. "It's a book of poetry." "Did YOU write these?" "Yes...I wrote them..." Then he leaned closer and kissed me again on the cheek before whispering, "...I wrote them about you." I could just die! I opened the book, and sure enough, there was poem after beautiful poem with my name. They had titles like, 'Jeremy My Love', 'Crazy About My Jeremy', 'The Boy In The Halls', and 'Love I Can Never Know'. They were all so sweet, so emotionally moving. I never could have imagined that something so beautiful, so incredibly magical, could ever be a part of my life. I tried to read as many as I could, but with Steven kissing at my neck and nibbling gently at my earlobe, I only got through about five of them. As the rain fell down in buckets outside, as the lights flickered with every strike of lightning, and the windows rattled with every crack of thunder, two boys who had never known about the power of love, shared many sweet kisses and tender touches on that living room couch. And nothing would ever tear them apart again. --------------------------------------------------------------- Hope you guys like this one. It feels so good to have enough time to write out a good one for ya! As always, I appreciate any and all comments at comiality@webtv.net, so feel free to drop me a line. And come on by the website at http://www.comicality.org