Built on Shambles

By Christ Sol

Published on Dec 21, 2000

Gay

Controls

DISCLAIMER: The members of Jebediah could be gay, straight, bi, or from the planet Blaaarg. This is a product of imagination with nuggets of facts, truth and kickin' lyrics. Don't like slash fiction? Go browse the Macy's catalogue.

Check out Jebediah at Http://www.nakedapemgt.com/jebediah

Fan mail to: webtrash@unpunk.com

-=-

"You can call me spoken for."

Those words, cutting through him like a knife. Kevin stood outside the bowling alley, choking back sobs and punching the brick wall, the pain gripping him. The pain of rejection. The pain of lonliness.

He closed his eyes, slumped against the wall, remember the smile, the teeth shining, the long black hair around his shoulders. The presence he had. And he had fucked up again. Taken. As usual.

"Why?" Kevin choked, tears running down his face.

He heard a noise from the corner. Cocking his head, Kevin heard the voices of Ness and Chris as they walked down the front of the alley. He straightened his shirt, wiped the tears from his face as best he could and walked out. They couldn't know how lonely he was. It would affect the band, affect the vibe they had.

"Kevin? What you doing out here?" "Oh, just getting some air. We going?" "Yeah, Bretts just in the toilet. I think his dinner's having an out of body experience."

In spit of himself, Kevin laughed. Brett didn't know when to stop sometimes. Cheap bourbon and bar counter meals didn't mix, either.

Brett sheepishly joined them at the bottom of the stairs and they climbed into the car, heading back to Kevin's.

He couldn't sleep that night. He was thinking about Trent. The beautiful boy in the bowling alley. Rolling onto his back, he saw him, straddling his belly, hair about his face, hands running over Kevin's chest and shoulders. Eyes glinting in the moonlight (quickened breathing, hands slipping and sliding beneath the sheet) - smiling down coyly, secretively, thin veils of timidity hiding the burning passion beneath (divine acts of self indulgence striking through the cool air of the bedroom) - Kevin's closed eyes following down, down where boys fear to tread - he was - he guessed that it was big down there, Well proportioned at least (moaning gently under his breath, balls tightening, calf muscles spasming) and tasted of sweat and man and everything Kevin, wanted, needed, needed tonight, needed forever (final explosion, victorious spill of something special, something shared with noone, body relaxed, skin hot to the touch)---- Kevin slept.

"When you lost all hope and excuses

and the cheapskates and the losers

Nothing's left to cling onto

You got to hold on to yourself"

Sweat dripped of Kevin's brow but he didn't noticed. He was lost in a world of guitar and voice and feedback in the living room of his Willetton house. Chris had come over to jam and they were learning stuff of Green Day's new album. The last chord died and Chris sat down, stopping the CD.

"Could do with a beer." "I haven't got any. Suck."

Chris laughed ruefully and helped himself to a bite of Kevin's sandwich.

"So who was that kid last night?" "Dunno. Just thought I'd say hi to him." "Ah OK. Did you like the look of him or something?"

Dangerous territory. Last night didn't happen. Deep breath.

"He wasn't bad looking. He just looked - friendly.."

Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Drop detune man, I wanna play some Cake."

The rest of the morning was spent playing through covers, before running through a new break for In Orbit. Kevin was one with his music. It wasn't vanity, wasn't possessiveness. He just loved music, he loved having the gift of expressing his opinions and feelings, sharing his gift with the world. Being in a band as successful as Jebediah was the best that every happened to him.

They broke for lunch and to go over to Naked Ape for a chat with their manager, Stan.

"Kid called a couple day, name's Cain Firth. Says he wants to do a doco on the band. Photos, interviews, video clips, the whole deal. He says he has backing from WAMI and at Film Finance Commission. Think the others would be interested?" Kevin grinned. "Sounds like fun! What do you think Chris?" "Bretts full of himself - he'd love to see his face on TV." "Shut up - you're worse than him."

Chris gave Kevin a playful shove.

"What about Vanessa?"

Kevin paused. "She's become a bit -- private -- since she met Shelley. Won't be photographed with her."

Stan frowned and nodded.

"But I'll ask. We'll work something out. This kid sounds really keen. The Industry just doesn't hand out funding and backing on a plate these days. Not since ArtsWA slacked off."

Kevin tried to imagine what this Cain kid would be like. He was pretty aloof for the rest of the meeting. A documentary about Jebediah......

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