I Wasn't Looking

Published on Dec 1, 2003

Gay

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My story is true, no fiction at all & stated as it really happened.

I attended the local U.S. Swim & Fitness (Jokingly referred to as; Swim & Pickup), 2 to 3 times a week, and on this particular evening (this evening changed my life incredibly, to say the least), around 6'ish, I had finished my upstairs workout, running, some equipment workout and headed to the "Wet area" to enjoy relaxing in the steam room & Jacuzzi. Prior to this evening I was feeling real down, about my job, my failing marriage, my financial stress, and had just gotten out of work, went home (Staying with my mother) changed and headed to the gym with nothing on my mind, but escaping all of these distressing factors. I was dealing with a marriage that was in the process of ending, my employer was starting to play games with my income level, and my finances were starting to dwindle. I loved my wife, but was not "in love" with my wife, and I felt like she was trying everything she could to make our marriage fail, she had changed, in so many ways and I couldn't understand why. She was and still is a beautiful woman, and an awesome mother to my 3 beautiful kids and I will always love her for that. During our long 23 year marriage, I had felt feelings of passion for other men, i.e.; be that in fantasy and their presence, yet I buried these feelings, solely on being faithful to my wife & "proper upbringing", while not dealing with my own needs and desires. When the marriage was in legal process of dissolving, the gym was my escape, both physically & emotionally.

Getting back to "this particular evening" at the gym, in the wet area was 1 or 2 other people, I sat & soaked in the hot Jacuzzi, wearing only my swim suit, when I was looking about the room, I could see the faint figure of a man in the steam room, and decided to go in and set down for a moment and hopefully strike up a conversation, as I was bored sitting in the Jacuzzi. Knowing that most people are not as forward or friendly as this New York City boy, I cautiously entered, said; "Hello, how are you?" he politely said "great and yourself", I said "whipped from the day and needing to just unwind". As the steam cleared a little, I saw him more clearly and realized what a handsome, cute, sexy & pleasantly nice person with a beautiful smile, he was. I was in a straight marriage for so long, that my gay feelings hadn't surfaced for a very long time, yet when I saw him look at me, the juices began to flood my emotions and I just felt so calm in his presence. At that time, my gaydar was nothing, so my ability to tell if a man is gay or straight, to this day, still alludes me, but when he looked at me, I felt a stirring in my swimsuit, and my heart began to beat very hard. After a minute or so, I couldn't take the heat of the steam room any longer & my overheating libido, and walked out saying; "have a good evening, it was very nice talking with you", he said "you too", then I headed back to the Jacuzzi to soak some more, minutes later he came out of the steam room, and came over to the Jacuzzi, and sat down. We started small talk again, i.e.; Weather, etc... when I finally introduced myself, "Hi, I'm TJ" (not my real name, but a name I adopted to use, when meeting strangers), he said his name is; "Jay" then the conversation led to his visiting his parents for the holidays, and that he would be going back home around the first of January, I stated I lived here and had traveled many times to his home state. We seemed to really enjoy talking to each other, getting to know about his home state, his likes & dislikes of the weather in his home state, etc... I talked a little about my living here since I was 15 and growing up in New York and my likes and dislikes of the weather there and other conversation points. We really seemed to hit if off, he told me he would be coming to the gym in 2 nights around the same time, and I made it point to let him know I would look for him and hopefully continue our friendly conversation and get to know each other better. I absolutely loved his eyes, they are beautiful medium brown in color and show immense life, expression & emotion in them, they are beautiful, as well as the rest of him, looking at him made me flood with comfort & excitement. To coin the phrase; "He had me at hello", he was just so real, not fake, he was pleasant, personable & I needed to get to know him, so you can only imagine, how much I made sure I showed up in 2 nights. I thought of him those next 2 days, of his looks, his beautiful eyes, his smile, his whole being, and would be lying if I didn't tell you, that I fantasized about him sexually, yet I still didn't know his sexual preference. When I arrived at the gym that night, I looked for his truck, that I saw him get into when we left 2 nights before, and my heart sank when I couldn't see it in the small parking lot, I almost turned around and left, when I thought, how stupid are you? Go in and workout, run & steam, he might still show up. I saw him in the dressing area, when he must have just arrived, my heart started pounding as though it was getting ready to jump out of my chest, he was changed & started going into the wet area. I said; "hello, how are you?" he smiled and looked at me enthusiastically saying; "great and how are you?" I just wanted to hug him and say, it is so nice to see you again, but didn't want him to run away, or say something like; get away you fag or something like that, so I calmly went to my locker and undressed, quickly putting on my swim suit to catch up with him as he was going into the wet area. We sat silently in the steam room and then starting chatting a little more, then I watched him go to the Jacuzzi, I followed and said; "I will join you, and we can talk some more, if that's okay with you", he said; "great", smiled back at me and sat down in the hot Jacuzzi. We finally started to get to know each other more intimately in conversation, to the point that I said to him; "since you are going back in few days, may I buy you something to eat at the Denny's, next door?" he said; "you don't need to buy, but sure that sounds great I can always eat something". When we got dressed after I had completely scanned his naked body in the shower, I realized I loved every part of this man. Jay was around 5' 7", with a perfectly well toned, no body fat build & not to mention a very nice cock & ass. I was 5' 10" and 140 lbs, and very little body fat. I know he liked how I looked, because I was blonde, blue eyed and in fairly good shape, because he periodically checked me out in the shower as well. We put our things in our cars, and proceeded to the Denny's at the other end of the parking lot by the gym.

After we sat down, he looked at me and when I looked directly into his eye's, at that moment I knew I loved him & liked everything about him, I wanted him in my life, if only for a friend, yet I knew inside this may or may not be, because he lived 2500 miles away from me and to be friends with him may be only by long distance friendship, but regardless I needed him in my life. I wasn't looking for a lover, and had no girlfriend nor was I looking for a companion, I wasn't looking for anything but to get to know, good people. We exchanged telephone numbers, I told him; "my number is toll free at work, so please call", he said; "he would when he got back home". We spent at least 2 hours sitting across from each other in the restaurant, discussing many personal details of ourselves, and during this talk I had learned of his sexual preference, which made me hard in my shorts, and more desires of his affections. I paid for dinner, and we started walking out of Denny's, he said; "My parent's home isn't far from here, would you like to take a ride with me and let's get to know each other, a little more intimately?" I swallowed hard and said; "sure", and realized I was going to be intimate with this man, that knows more about being gay, than I have even thought of, yet I so wanted it to be with him, I was willing to learn from him. We walked to his parents car, he drives when he is in state visiting, I sat down in the passenger side, watching his every move, he had such neat mannerism's, and I felt totally at ease with him. He drove for a short distance, into the area of his parents home, drove past their home, pointed at it letting me know that's his parents home and then kept driving, all this time I am wondering where he is taking me or what his intentions were. He stopped at the top of a hill that overlooks the area with a beautiful view of the city lights, turned off the engine, put his hand on mine, and he leaned over to me, took my head in his hand and gently kissed me, while our hands began exploring each others chests, legs and eventually crotches, then we lowered our shorts, (it was a dimly lit area) and started exploring each others body's with our tongues and hands, and the next thing I know, I am tasting his beautiful 7" cut cock, for the first time. I was rock hard, so was he, and he sat back while I slowly, and gently started to take his hard cock deeper into my mouth. I had only sucked a man's cock one other time, and that was briefly and in a heated moment, but this was different it was pure sex with that man, but it was more with Jay, he smelled & tasted so good, and being with him this way seemed only natural for me, and he seemed to enjoy my efforts, he then gently pulled me from him and leaned over and down between my legs, and gently licked, tasted and sucked my cock. I cannot put into words, how wonderful this time with him was, and I only knew that my pleasures were his pleasures and vice versa. We both got over excited and stroked ourselves, until we came violently from this very exciting time together. We kissed some more, and I told him that was so unbelievable, and that I just so hated the thought of him leaving in a few days, and he told me that he had not been with a man since his breakup with his lover, and that this was very good for him. He told me that he really had enjoyed our brief time together, and he hated the thought of leaving as well.

Days passed, and I was frantic, because I had misplaced his telephone number, and kept drilling my mother, of whom I was staying with, if I had gotten any calls from Jay. She said "no", and I just felt empty, lost and confused, because my head and heart told me that I had fallen for this guy, and then reality hit me, I started thinking maybe he didn't feel the same as I did for him, yet when we parted that hot exciting night, he indicated otherwise, that he felt as I did. I went to work, the following Monday, Jay would be flying home that day, and I couldn't call him to tell him that I wanted him to be safe, and that I really enjoyed getting to know him. As I sat at my desk at work, the company receptionist called me directly and said there is a Jay on the phone, could I take the call, I said in a rushed tone; "Yes, please put him through". When I answered the phone & heard his voice, I felt as though all of my problems and worry's had been silly and wasted effort, because he called me before he left, that answered my concerns. He sounded so good, yet he was cautious of what to say, and I had to be the same, but I told him that he is welcome to call anytime, and chat, and if I am not available, what number did he want me to call him back? I had to admit that I had misplaced his telephone numbers, and if he would give them to me again, he teased me and said; "typically a blonde thing", I laughed and told him that was nothing compared to the many other things I do. He laughed and gave me the numbers, and told him that I would be in the office on Saturday, and will call him at home or work, he said he would be in his work on Saturday as well, and said he would call me when it was convenient for him to talk. We chatted more, and then had to say goodbye, but before the call ended I told him that I valued his friendship, and was sorry I hadn't called him before he flew back home.

Every night after work, I rushed home to see if he had called and my mother said no, and he hadn't called my cell phone, so I just anticipated the upcoming Saturday, with fantasy and desire to talk with him more intimately. Every night, when I went to bed, I stroked my cock thinking about him, and our hot heated night together on the hilltop, and I would cum explosively to complete exhaustion. My every thought of him, when work, family & friends were not present, was exciting, erotic & eventually explosive with my orgasm's, to close each passing day. Saturday morning came so slowly, but finally arrived, and when he called the ability to talk dirty, passionate and be ourselves was well worth the wait. We had long distance sex, stroking our cocks while talking to each other, and talked about how much we needed each other, and how we were having feelings of love and this went on every Saturday, and on Sunday's I would call him from my cell phone at his home he would answer, and we continued our erotic & exciting long distance relationship. He would tell me how he was laying naked on his couch and would in detail tell me what he was doing with his hands, while I sat at my desk with my shorts at my ankles stroking my hot, hard cock, and I would do the same thing explaining what I was doing with my hands. I called him from a phone booth, down by a park I hiked at a lot and would literally be standing there, within view of any passersby, clearly showing my rock hard erection in my shorts. I called him from behind a 7-11 store, completely naked in the shadows and cum for him, he cum for me 2 times during that call, and I was completely mad about our conversations and mad about him. We talked of my coming to visit, and he offered to buy me the plane ticket, if I wanted to fly out for a weekend to spend with him and no interruptions or phone sex, damn how that made me rock hard, wet with pre-cum and horny beyond belief. I bought my ticked, packed my weekend luggage and took the shuttle to the airport. The flight was long and tedious, because of my impatience to see him, hold him, kiss him & make love with him. He said he felt the same way, when I arrived at the airport, but he had no idea how wonderfully excited I really was; yet he was exuding the same feelings on the drive to his apartment. I kissed him in the parking garage at the airport, I kissed him in the car, when no one was around, I kissed him the minute he opened his apartment door. I held him so close and silently thanked the heavens for this moment, he quickly showed me the apartment, as I pulled at his pants & pinched his cute butt. When he introduced me to his sweet little cat, we seemed to be instant friends, as though his cat knew I was a good person, and good like his master. We went into the bedroom and slowly undressed each other, touching, kissing, and feeling each other's bodies, we sighed, moaned and with heavy breath, laid naked against each other for the first time. We kissed while holding each other tightly, then explored each others body's and tasted each other, head to toe. Jay smelled wonderful, tasted delicious and when we made, mad feverishly erotic passionate love that day, it was the most pleasing, and satisfying sex I have ever had. I asked him to make the clock stop, so this moment would not end, but in reality we got dressed, and went to get something to eat. In this small town he lived in, I must have been the new face, a stranger to the citizens, as I was being looked at from every eye in there, later Jay told me it was because of my blonde, blue eyed looks and gorgeous tan & that I was so different than the locals, they couldn't help but stare. He drove around showing me around the area, and took me to meet his sister and her kids of which I hit it off immediately, his sister and I had chatted in previous calls to reach him, and it seemed as though we had known each other all of our lives, yet were strangers and didn't know it. She treated me so kindly, and welcomed me into her home and her kids, his Nephews and Niece, talked to me, bragging about their great accomplishments as kids have it.

Sunday came to quickly, meaning I only had one more day with him, so I took advantage of the opportunity to taste him, feel him & make love to him, as much as he would allow or needed himself. It was so absolutely exciting, just being in his presence, he made me feel so good about myself, my life and my efforts to come that long distance to be with him. I expressed to him that he made this entire "new discovery of gay life", to me seem natural and normal, and that my need to do this with him was our destiny. He drove me to the airport the next morning and we both had tears in our eyes, because we didn't want this to end, yet we knew I had to get back home to my job, family & life, and he needed to do the same there with his life. I was so blue and depressed on the flight back, that the long flight didn't matter; I needed as much time as I could to reflect on this fantastic weekend we had shared together. I called him to let him know I had arrived safely, and we continued our long distance, erotic, phone sex, dirty talk and passion for many calls to come. I told him that I could not live without him, that my marriage is over, my kids are grown enough to survive, my job sucked and I hated being there without him. One day I got brave with him on a call, expressed my love for him and asked him if he would welcome me as a guest and hopefully we could develop into a couple, he seemed unsure, and just getting over his previous relationship, he was skittish about committing to another one, let alone one where we barely knew each other. I pushed hard to convince him to give it a try, I told him I didn't want to be here anymore, and that if I can't be with him, then I would go back to New York, against my desires, for awhile and work there, but had to get away from my now crazy ex-wife and my lousy job. I finally forced his hand after many calls to him & he cautiously and hesitantly gave in, but told me I could not hurt him, that he couldn't take being hurt again (He is so tender, fragile & good, only the best person deserves him). I assured him that I was also taking a risk of having my heart torn out of my chest, if he did the same thing to me, so we agreed, I would buy the ticket (He bought the ticket) and be at the airport at the designated time & area. I went home, told my mother that I was going to another state to stay with a friend for awhile, she went ballistic, not even knowing about my feelings for Jay, assuming it was another woman, to destroy my life. She had expected me to go to New York with her in a few weeks, not where I told her I was going alone without her. She went into her room and called my oldest brother (Executor to my father's sizable estate), in another state and told him what was going on, that I supposedly yelled at her and that I was making a big mistake. Because of her call to my arrogant, cocky, condescending brother, this is when all hell broke loose.

Now a little brief history of that in just a few words; My brother flew in the next day and screaming & yelling ensued, he threw my clothes out into the garage floor and told me to get out, that I was worthless, a family embarrassment & that I was disinherited from my fathers estate. My pompous brother did this, while my mother stood there and watched him do this to me, so enough said about that. The next few weeks were long, tedious and hard, I went to stay on my ex-wife's couch, stayed with friends and sometimes slept on my office sofa, just counting the days until I would fly to my new friend & lover Jay. My life was hell during this waiting period, yet in my calls to and from Jay, I found enough strength to hang on hard & fast. If he hadn't accepted this offer or if he changed his mind, I was prepared to go back to New York, stay with my cousin Mike, get a job and settle there for a while, until I decided what I needed to do with my life. Finally that morning arrived, I awaited the airport shuttle with only 2 pieces of luggage that contained as much of my personal belongings I could get into them, realizing that the rest would be left behind, for my kids to do with it what they felt necessary. My eyes filled with tears as I watched my home fade in the distance, knowing that one day, I would be back to see my kids for visits and holidays, etc... I wasn't leaving them permanently, yet I knew I would be gone for a lengthy period, but my kids would be fine, as they are getting older (19,17&15), and have founds things to do with their own lives. They are strong, talented & great kids, and it hurt to know that I wouldn't see them for a while, yet I had plenty of love for them (I know they love me) to carry me through this. I stood at the airport, numb, legs shaking & unsure of what I was doing, yet, when I thought of Jay, I felt calm and ready to go. My ex-wife knew I was going out to stay with a friend, we had talked the night before and understood it as "escaping my claustrophobic surroundings & my terminated relationship with my overbearing mother and asshole brother." She had remarried shortly after that and is now living her new life with her husband. When I got onto the plane, the door closed, I said a little prayer to my kids, my mother, my friends & Jay. I committed myself to make this happen, successfully, to give to Jay as much love, attention, compassion, respect and vowed total devotion to him. The plane landed, and as I walked down the gangway, I looked out the windows to see if I could see Jay in the terminal windows, he was not visible. When I finally got inside the terminal, there he stood smiling, this beautiful man, this man I had now come to love and traveled far to be with, I knew he wanted to hug me as hard as I wanted to hug him (But we didn't because it would look gay). We collected my luggage, quickly headed to his car, sat down and passionately kissed. From that day on, we have been together 6 years, and still feel the strongest love, respect, passion and friendship for each other. We are proud of surviving the "ups & downs", the "lean & mean times" and every night when I lay naked against his naked body, in our bed, I still feel as excited, horny & passionate as that spring day, 6 years earlier. I know we will grow old together, I truly love you Jay, and sincerely thank you for being this incredible, remarkable guy that swept me off my feet, even when I wasn't looking. Love TJ.

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