Lizzie McGuire - Matt and Ethan, Matt's Dream
Disclaimer:
The characters portrayed here belong to the Disney Channel's "Lizzie McGuire" folks.
This is just a story. It doesn't imply any intent by the Disney writers, nor indicate the behavior of the actors (Jake Thomas as Matt, Clayton Snyder as Ethan).
Rating: PG13
Oh, as for "The Wizard of Oz," the book is copyright 1900 by L. Frank Baum.
The 1939 film is copyright by MGM.
If you're looking for Disney slash, see my Gay Celebrity stories.
Since someone always asks, here they are.
In the Sack in Sac Town (Twitty & Ethan, Jan, 2003)
Twitty and --, (in collaboration with Sean, Aug 2003)
(Two stories: Twitty and Louis, Twitty and Larry)
Matt's Dream
After the McGuire family's misadventures in babysitting the last time Lizzie was left to watch Matt, they figured they needed someone else to watch him this time.
"Maybe Gordo could watch me," said Matt. "I liked him."
"Hello! Gordo and I are going out. He'll be with me," said Lizzie.
"How about Kate Sanders?" Mom asked Lizzie.
"No way, Mom. Matt doesn't like her, and she already makes my life at school a living hell. She doesn't need any more ammunition."
"Maybe I don't need a sitter anymore," said Matt.
"Matt, you're too irresponsible yet," said his mother. "We tried unsupervised bedtime and I could hardly get you up the next day! And I don't want you trying your kung fu in the house while we're gone. You already broke one lamp when you kicked it!"
"One accident and I'm branded a klutz?" Matt protested. "What about Lizzie?"
"He's right, Lizzie," Mom said. "You do tend to be a bit clumsy."
"We were talking about Matt, remember?"
"Well, I suppose I could try one of your old sitters."
"An old lady?" Matt gasped. "They'll pinch my cheeks, and treat me like I'm still in the single digits! Please no, Mom! I'm 11 now, almost 12. Hey, how about Ethan?"
"Ethan Craft?" asked Lizzie.
"Sure," said Matt. "We got along great that day I caught the bus to your school, Lizzie."
"Well," said Lizzie, "Ethan does seems to like you."
"I don't know," said Mom. "Matt and Ethan sounds like Dumb and Dumber, from what you and your friends say, Lizzie."
"Oh Mom! Ethan hasn't done anything ditzy all quarter. And he was the only one in class that understood the teacher saying that he felt sorry he had no shoes until he met a man that had no feet. Only Ethan knew it meant "there are people worse off than you." The rest of us thought some poor man had stepped on a landmine, or been a victim of a chainsaw maniac, even Gordo thought it was a Jaws-like shark attack that cost the man his feet."
"Well, alright," said Mom. "Let's give Ethan a call."
Ethan was quite willing to sit Matt. Ethan was bisexual, but his stronger feelings were gay, and he found himself attracted to Matt. He never planned to make a move on Matt, aware that even a small 3-year age difference can be a big deal in adolescence. But if Matt had asked for him, maybe Matt was maturing early, and having the same sort of feelings Ethan had started having at that age. And if Matt put any moves on Ethan, the older boy wasn't going to resist.
Lizzie was going to dinner and catch a movie with Gordo, a traditional teen date. They'd catch a bus or get a taxi back. Sam and Jo (the parents McGuire) decided that sounded pretty good so they were going to drop Lizzie and Gordo off, then go out to a different restaurant and thought they'd go dancing afterward. No one was likely to be home until late, well after Matt's 10 o'clock bedtime.
When Ethan arrived, he played football with Matt in the back yard. Matt loved catching the ball and trying to get past Ethan for a TD, but he found himself enjoying being tackled and held, enjoying the body contact. He noted Ethan seemed to enjoy that too when tackled.
They had pizza for supper; then Matt wanted to watch a video.
"I don't see why I couldn't go with Gordo and Lizzie," Matt said. "They've got 'Jeepers Creepers 2,' 'Dirty Pretty Things,' and 'The Order' playing at the multi-plex. Those are all movies I'd like to see."
"Those are all horror or thrillers, and they're all Rated R," said Ethan. "And there's no way you could pass for 17!"
"I could sneak in, saying I was going to see 'Pirates of the Caribbean' or whatever Lizzie and Gordo are going to see, then change theaters."
"Well, looks like you've got plenty of videos here," said Ethan.
"And nobody I'd rather watch them with," whispered Matt.
"What's that, buddy?" asked Ethan, not catching what Matt said.
(Matt thought, 'gee, did I say that out loud?') He said: "I was just agreeing with you."
"Well, what do you wanna watch?" Ethan asked.
"I think Dad's got some old movies. How about 'Night of the Living Dead'?"
"Oh Matt, that'll give you nightmares."
('Rats, I've seen it so many times it's not scary anymore,' thought Matt, 'but I was hoping to pretend it scared me, and sleep with Ethan and see what happens.') "How about 'Bram Stoker's Dracula'?" Matt asked.
"Gee, I think that might give ME nightmares," said Ethan.
('Ooh,' thought Matt, 'maybe Ethan will want to sleep with me, and we'll see what happens.')
"Interview with the Vampire?" asked Matt.
"Matt, we're not watching a horror movie or thriller!" Ethan said, but he wondered if Matt had seen that film and knew of the homoerotic scenes in it.
"Well, I wouldn't mind an action-adventure, like James Bond, but we don't have any," said Matt.
"Oh, so you want adventure, magic, thrills, maybe a creepy castle?" asked Ethan.
"That'd be cool," Matt agreed.
"Then I know just the film."
"Frankenstein?"
"Wizard of Oz!"
"Wizard of Oz? Ah that's a kid movie," said Matt, disappointed.
"Well, you're a kid," explained Ethan, "besides, have you actually seen it?"
"Just the first part, up to where the Munchkins come out - I can't stand those high squeaky voices, like the toon villain in 'Roger Rabbit,' ugh!"
"Yeah, that part is pretty lame," Ethan agreed, "but it gets good after that."
"I don't know," said Matt.
"Well, we could do something else, I guess."
"Like what?"
"I hear you're interested in king fu, want to show me what you know?" said Ethan.
"Mom says I'm not supposed to do it in the house," said Matt.
"Well, your mother's not here."
"Ethan, I like the way you think!"
Matt did a few moves, ending in a kick that sent one of his shoes flying and caused him to slip and hit his head on the floor.
"Matt!" Ethan screamed.
"Did I break anything?" Matt asked wearily.
"I don't know. I don't think so. Lie still and let me check you over."
"I meant - did I break anything in the house? Mom will kill me, and she won't be too happy with you, if I did."
"Well, I didn't hear anything break," said Ethan. Just lie there while I check."
Ethan found Matt's shoe in a planter. "Well, you almost hit one of your Dad's gnomes and his gnome home, but they're ok. You didn't even knock over the planter."
"I feel better already," said Matt, starting to get up, then swooning, making Ethan catch him.
"Are you all right, Matt?"
"I just got up too fast. I'll be all right," said Matt, but he was feeling a bit dizzy.
"Well," said Ethan, "let's watch 'Wizard of Oz.' We can fast forward through the Munchkin stuff, or I can put it on mute, okay?"
"Okay," Matt agreed.
They started the video and ran it on double speed through the trouble with Miss Gulch, and the twister taking Dorothy and her house beyond the rainbow to the Land of Oz. Then Ethan stopped the tape and tried to put it in regular speed, but the remote wouldn't respond. "That happens, sometimes," Matt said as he got up to manually adjust the VCR, but fell back onto the couch, dizzy. "I guess I got up too fast again," he said. Ethan got up and adjusted the VCR then sat back down on the couch, next to Matt.
By now, Matt's head was spinning almost as much as the tornado in the movie.
It seemed to Matt that he was seeing his shoe go flying, growing in size. "There was an old woman got smashed by a shoe, and so many Munchkins it seemed like a zoo," thought Matt. "No, no, that's not right, I must've hit my head harder than I thought."
In the video, the Wicked Witch of the East had just been smashed, and the Munchkins were coming out to give thanks to their new savior. Ethan had the video on mute, but Matt could imagine how the script would go.
Munchkin 1: "We're the Backwards Boys"
Munchkin 2: "Yeah, we're Out of Sync."
Then they burst into song.
"You brought us joy, brought down the house. Now we're gonna turn the party out.
Come on come on; let's raise the roof, You killed the witch, now we can cut loose.
We've got that feeling baby, you know it drives us crazy
'Cause the witch is no more.
We wanna shout at y'all, We'll make it louder y'all,
Say like we did before:
You brought us joy, brought down the house. Now we're gonna turn the party out.
Come on come on let's raise the roof, You killed the witch, now we can cut loose."
(Based on Bringin' da noise, by 'N Sync)
Matt found himself drifting in a sort of half conscious half dreaming state. He couldn't help put himself into the movie; he did that with almost everything. Music from his favorite composer-performer, Elton John, came to him as his response to the Out of Sync Munchkins, who were taking on the look of his father's garden gnomes.
"You know you can't hold me forever, I didn't sign up with you.
I'm not a present for your friends to open, This boy's too young to be singing the blues."
(From Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John,
from the album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, 1973)
Just then a strange ball of light appeared in the sky.
Matt watched it, another verse of the song coming to him.
"When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land?
I should have stayed on the farm. I should have listened to my old man."
The ball of light grew in size until, when it touched the earth, it was about 7 feet in diameter.
Out of it stepped ---
"Miranda?" asked Matt, bewildered.
"Just where do you think you're going?" asked Miranda.
"Home," said Matt. "Come on Lanny," he said to his friend who now looked like some sort of black Ewok, having morphed into a half human half canine creature to take the place of Toto.
"Matt, take a good look around," said Miranda. "You're not in California anymore!"
"Aah! Get me out of these clothes; get me out of this dress!"
"It's YOUR dream," said Miranda, and waved a wand.
Matt found himself in his own clothes. "Come on Matt," he told himself, "wake up!"
"It's a dream, Matt, but you have to see it through," said Miranda.
"Who ARE you?" asked Matt.
"I'm the good witch in this story."
"But witches are old and."
"Watch it, Bub!"
"Okay, so you're not ugly, or old. Are you SURE you're a witch?"
Matt quickly found himself in Dorothy's dress again.
"Does that answer your question?" asked Miranda.
"Okay, okay! Give me back my clothes!" said Matt.
Matt found himself in his own clothes again.
"Witches come in quite a variety," explained Miranda. "Some are pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside, as you'll see if you ever meet the most wicked witch of all."
"I thought I just smashed her," said Matt.
"That was just her flunky, Claire. Now Kate's MUCH worse."
Meanwhile, Kate, the Wicked Witch of the West, was admiring herself in her magic mirror.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
"Well it ain't you honey," said the mirror in Miranda's voice, showing a green ogress like the enchanted princess from 'Shrek.'
"Alright, I do NOT look like that!" said Kate.
"You do on the inside, and from now on that's what this mirror will show," said the mirror, "except when I'm using it," it added, changing to reveal the face of Miranda. She spoke:
"You're no fair beauty, we know because the fairest is Lizzie, the Wizard of Oz."
"By the way," Miranda added, "you might like to know your flunky Claire bought the farm."
"She did? Now we own the McGuire farm. I'll send the eviction notice tomorrow."
"I mean she's dead, you lamebrain."
"Dead? Who did this?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" With that, Miranda's image vanished.
"Hold everything! Stop the show!" said Matt. "Miranda, come on! I thought this was the Wizard of Oz."
"It is."
"With Lizzie? It's more like the LIZARD of Oz!"
"Well, it's YOUR dream, how would YOU cast it?"
"Well how about Lizzie as the girl and ME as the wizard?" asked Matt.
"No can do, you have to be one of the players."
"And who are the players?"
"Well, besides Dorothy (the girl character) there's a scarecrow, a tin man, and a lion."
"I'll be the lion," said Matt.
"It's a cowardly lion," explained Miranda.
"Scarecrow?" Matt asked.
"No brain," said Miranda.
"Ha, that sounds kinda like Ethan," said Matt.
"It does, doesn't it?" said Miranda. "Okay, you just chose Ethan for the scarecrow."
"So, I guess I'm the Tin Man," said Matt. "And Gordo's the Wizard, 'cause it's gotta be somebody with a brain. That leaves the Cowardly Lion. Now who'd be right for that? You're right Lanny! Lena would be perfect for the part. What's that? 'Purrfect?' Good one, Lanny!"
"Alright then," said Miranda. "On with the show."
Miranda instructed Lizzie to "follow the yellow brick road," but that only worked until she came to a crossroad, likewise yellow-bricked.
"Oh dear," said Lizzie to Lanny. "Now which way should I go?" Lanny was silent.
"Pardon me," said the scarecrow (played by Ethan Craft), pointing to his left, "that way is a very nice way."
"Who said that?" asked Lizzie.
Lanny pointed at the scarecrow.
"Don't be silly, Lanny," said Lizzie. "Scarecrows don't talk."
The scarecrow lowered his left arm and now pointed with his right. "It's pleasant down that way too."
"That's funny," said Lizzie. "Lanny, wasn't he pointing the other way?"
"Of course," said the scarecrow Ethan, crossing his arms and pointing both right and left, "people do go both ways. I know I do."
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Lizzie.
"I'll tell you," said Ethan.
"When a boy's made of straw, there is a vital flaw,
you see I'm torn apart.
With no brain to choose, you could say I'm rather loose
concerning matters of the heart.
Oh I can't really say just why I feel this way,
I can only say that, though I'm stuffed with hay,
I've still got feelings, mostly gay.
The girls think that I'm stud muffin With great bod' but head of stuffin'
And they never ponder why.
But they might shed a tear, Though the thought fills me with fear,
If they only knew I'm Bi.
"Why, you're crazy!" said Lizzie.
"Crazy?" said Ethan, and he began another song (based on "Unwell", by Matchbox 20, from the album More than you think you are).
"All day, starin' at the cornfield, makin' friends with crows that come my way.
All night, hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good for something.
'Lazy' is what some people would call it.
'Crazy' is what you've said just now.
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell;
I know, right now you cant' tell,
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired;
I know, right now you don't care,
But soon enough you're gonna think of me.
Yeah, you're gonna think on me."
"You're right," said Lizzie, "I'm sorry. Why don't I help you down and you can join me?"
"But you don't know where you're going," Ethan pointed out.
"I'm trying to get to the Wizard of Oz. I hear he's in the Emerald City."
"Well why didn't you say so? It's that way," Ethan raised a hand and pointed back with his thumb indicating that Lizzie should continue in the direction she'd been heading.
"Oh wonderful," said Lizzie. As soon as she had Ethan on his feet, they started off, singing "We're off to see the wizard."
Lizzie, Lanny, and the scarecrow Ethan hadn't gone far when they came across what seemed to be a statue, a metal sculpture.
"What an odd place for a statue," said Lizzie.
"That's no statue," said Ethan, "it's a man made out of tin. He must've rusted."
Ethan looked for and found an oilcan, and began oiling the Tin Man.
"M Ma My goodness. I was frozen stiff."
"Oh, so that explains it," said Ethan. "I thought you were just glad to see me."
"I AM glad to see you. Oh Thank you!" said the Tin Man, giving the Scarecrow a kiss.
Matt woke up to find himself kissing Ethan who had picked up Matt, carrying the smaller boy in his arms.
"Whoa Matt," said Ethan, "I usually just get a 'thank you,' all I did was cover you with my letterman jacket. You were shivering and I didn't know if that was 'cause you were dreaming or 'cause you were cold. And since you hit your head, I thought maybe I should get you to bed."
"Oh yes! Take me to bed. Come to bed with me," said Matt.
"Matt, are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I'm stiff, and it's not because I'm frozen. I love you Ethan."
"Oh man, Matt, I've loved you since we first met, but I never thought you'd love me in the same way."
"Well, I do. Take me. Teach me."
"Matt, tonight we're going over the rainbow."
The End