Alright" by Mandi

By moc.loa@128miHruoF

Published on Jul 27, 2001

Gay

Controls

This story is fiction and not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of any member of NSync.

"Alright"

He sat there swirling the liquid around in the glass, hearing the ice clink against the sides. He had been drinking straight Vodka, and vowed to not do it again, he has only taken two drinks,and sat the glass back down. He didn't want to hide in alcohol, he wanted to hide within himself, yes,but not with the help of an outside source. He quickly decided upon going out, maybe he could forget easier there, he didn't have to think about running into him there, he wasn't that type. But JC really didn't know what type he was, he seemed to change right before his eyes, and didn't shed a tear when he walked away. JC had, he had cried everynight since he walked out and never came back, ever since he heard the two words that still haunt him to this day, good-bye. But JC keeps it hidden, he won't let anyone in, he has to be strong, show Justin he doesn't have a hold on him anymore, even if it was all farce. NSync had broken up with the break up of the two heart throbs, JC wasn't himself much anymore, and Justin seemed to be more interested in himself than the music, so they went their seperate ways. It had been nearly two years since he'd seen any of the guys, and nearly a year since he's been out, like as in a club, or even a restaurant. He simply didn't think, then, he could handle it if he happened to see him. He knew now he could, he could look the prick right in the eye, and just tell him what he thinks about him, but he won't do that, because for some fucked up reason, he still loved him.

JC decided on a pair of tight black jeans, and a simple silver shirt, making sure his "new" hairdo, which resembled what he had during No Strings Attached, was just right; and walked out the door, and hopefully into a new life. But JC knew his real luck, and knew what would inevitably would happen, and just prayed he could get through it, and still be standing strong afterward, because he was alright......

He saw him an hour after he had walked through the doors, and he felt that famliar pull on his heart, and knew, he couldn't do this. He turned to walk away, but felt someone touch his shoulder, and say one word, that made his heart skip a beat, "Josh?" He turned around and standing there in front of him was the person he had been running away from for nearly two years now, and he couldn't look away from his eyes. Staring back at JC was the twelve-year old little boy he loved like a brother, the fifteen-year old, wanting to ask JC, if he also "liked boys." He saw the nervous eighteen year old, confessing his love for the older man, and finally the twenty-one year old, that ran from what he said he was meant to do. JC fought back tears as memories of their relationship flooded his mind, he blinked them away, and focused on Justin in front of him.

"How have you been, you been alright?" JC almost laughed at that, Justin wanted to know if he was alright, the one that had ripped his heart out, stomped on it, then put it back into his chest without closing the wound, wanted to know if he was alright. Being JC, he told him what he knew Justin wanted to hear, and let him have it.

"Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be?"

"They told me that you took it pretty hard." JC did laugh at that, he kept his real feelings hidden so far within him, he dared Justin to be able to see through his mask.

"It really hasn't been that hard."

"I guess you've heard about the album?" Justin had evovled into a wonderful singer/songwriter, and musician, and was coming out with his second album, which was believed to beat the sales record of his last album, which had beat "No Strings Attached", it was a good album, JC had bought two; one for the house, and one for his car.

"yeah, seems your really getting on with your life, how long has it been since I've talked to you?"

"Like two years man, it's been like two years....that's almost insane to think about."

"I know," he thought to himself, I've been without you for two years, "it's strange."

"I've thought about you from time to time over the years." Justin confessed.

"Me too....." every time I opened my eyes, till when I closed them at night, everyday, but he didn't say that.

"I guess I'll be going, are you sure your okay?"

"Yeah, you know me, I'm alright."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you around."

"Send Britney my love, tell Jerika I said hi."

"How did you know?"

"I told you I've thought about you, wanted to know what was going on. Congratualations, never thought I'd tell you congrats on being a dad...ya' know?"

"Yeah since I was.....well, it's great , ya' know being in love, having a family?" JC had to doubt him a bit, Justin had never really been interested in Britney, but he would never push the subject. Justin had succombed to temptation, and fear, scared of losing his family, and his fans. He put on the front he was in love with Britney, they were married, they had a daughter, which JC didn't doubt Justin loved......but this wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"I guess nothing is ever what we want?"

"Nope," JC sighed,"never will be."

"Ya' know I'm still here for you right?"

"Yeah, and Justin, I'm alright........."

Why do you ask Of course I'm alright Guess I wasn't thinking I'd run into you tonight Do I seem surprised, guess you caught me off guard Yes I'm really doing fine No it hasn't been that hard

How bout you, gettin' on with your life There's so much to tell you That I won't even try My it's good to see you How long has it been I must admit I think about you Every now and then

Like when I open my eyes When I lay down at night And every moment every since The day you said good-bye But you'll never know Cause I keep it inside How'm I doin' without you Of course I'm alright

To tell you the truth I guess I have felt better God, just look at you wow You make it look so easy I can see it on your face Everything we used to be Is gone without a trace

If you wanna know Right now I'm sinking fast I know you always could see right behind this mask But I won't give it away I'm gonna keep it inside How'm I doin' without you Of course I'm alright

If you don't want to know the truth Of course I'm alright

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