Black Eyes Blue Tears

By Stephanie M

Published on Dec 6, 2001

Gay

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears Author: Stephanie M Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story, I'd love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys nor do I know anything about their true sexuality. This story is not meant to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned herein. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse. Status: WIP

Part 1

Lance ran out into the hall not caring where he was going just wanting to escape. He was running down the corridor, when he suddenly hit something solid and fell to the floor. Seeing AJ he got up quickly trying to hide his face.

"Are you okay?" AJ asked having caught sight of the tears in Lance's eyes.

"Don't worry I'm alright I just need to get out of here." Lance said trying to sound like he wasn't going to burst into tears.

"Want to come up to my room? I can honestly say no one will look for you there. Its just down the corridor, for some reason the record company made a mistake and booked me on this floor instead of with the rest of the group." AJ said with a smile, as he led the way to his room.

Lance followed him, at the same time wondering how to explain what had happened earlier. Asking himself if anyone would believe the truth, knowing that it was unlikely, JC had made sure of that.

"Come in Lance, I promise not to bite." AJ said as he waited for the younger man to walk inside.

Lance entered the room and waited for AJ to close the door, knowing that he couldn't take the risk of someone over hearing the conversation.

"Want to tell me what has you so upset?" AJ asked as he motioned Lance to sit down, passing the other man a Sprite from the freezer.

Taking the can, Lance quickly drank a big mouthful, his mouth suddenly dry at the prospect of revealing the truth. Lance had never told anyone about the past year and wasn't entirely sure that AJ wouldn't get angry.

"I made JC angry and I didn't want to wait around for him to catch me." Lance answered hoping that AJ wouldn't ask for the details, not sure that he could go into them without breaking down completely.

"What'll happen when he finds you?" AJ said a sick feeling in his stomach, knowing that there was something wrong with Lance.

"It depends on how upset he is." Lance answered his voice so low AJ had to strain to hear him.

"Why are you scared of him, Lance?" AJ asked not entirely sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I know him and I know what'll happen." Lance answered, shaking as he flashed on the memories of what had happened the last time he made JC mad.

"Lance why don't you wait here for me while I go and make a quick phone call?" AJ suggested as he moved to the bathroom, wanting to make sure Lance wouldn't overhear.

Lance nodded and smiled at AJ's back, feeling safe there for the moment, a rare feeling for him as he spent most of his life afraid of what would happen if he let his guard down. ******* AJ took his cell phone from his pocket and dialled a number quickly, not wanting to leave Lance alone any longer than necessary. For some reason he felt protective of Lance, maybe it was because of the fear he had seen in the younger man's eyes at JC's name.

"D is that you?" AJ asked when he heard a voice on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, its me. What's wrong, Bone?" Howie asked wondering why his friend was calling when they were supposed to meet in only a couple of minutes.

"I can't make it to dinner tonight. Can you tell everyone that I'm sorry?" AJ replied knowing that the rest of the group would be angry at his skipping out on them.

"Why's that?" Howie said confused.

"I bumped into an old friend earlier and I want to spend sometime with them." AJ answered, he was telling the truth even if he did leave out a few details.

"Okay, see you later." Howie replied as he ended the call. ******* AJ walked into the lounge where he found Lance asleep, obviously exhausted. AJ gently picked up the other man and carried him into the bedroom. He placed Lance on the bed and covered the other man up, Lance immediately rolled up into a ball.

AJ stayed in the bedroom, with Lance wondering just why the younger man had caught his attention and why he was feeling angry with JC for upsetting him. He got the feeling that Lance had a very good reason for being scared of JC. If only Lance would tell him what that was.

AJ was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Lance whimpering and whispering in his sleep, obviously in the throes of a nightmare. AJ moved towards the bed intending on waking the terrified Lance but before he could do that Lance opened his eyes and stared at him.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again, please don't, no...JC, please! I'm sorry JC please don't hit me again, I promise I'll be good. I'll be good..." Lance chanted as he looked over at the other man.

As he listened to Lance's words, AJ started to cry himself. It was clear from the way Lance was acting that it was a memory not a dream. He couldn't believe that JC was hurting Lance and no one had noticed or even worse that they knew and were ignoring it.

Moving slowly over to the bed, he quickly lay down next to the terrified Lance. Soothingly rubbing circles on Lance's back, he wondered just what he should do to help his friend now that he knew the truth.

"Lance, it AJ. No one is going to hurt you. It's okay; I'll make sure no one hurts you. Lance its Alex, JC's not here." AJ whispered into Lance's ear, hoping that he could comfort his friend. Gently he got Lance to lay down, moving so that he was holding the younger man. AJ continued to whisper reassurances, not noticing that he was falling asleep. ******** Lance awoke to the feeling of arms holding him, he stiffened hoping, praying that it wasn't JC. Taking a look over his shoulder he was relieved to find that it was AJ. A part of his mind wondered just why AJ was in bed with him but he relaxed knowing that both of them were still fully clothed and that AJ wouldn't hurt him.

AJ woke up as he felt Lance trying to get out of bed without much luck. He had held Lance all night, wanting to make sure his friend was safe. Seeing Lance was clearly eager to move, AJ let go and let the younger man move out of the bed. As Lance walked to the bathroom, AJ got out of bed and groaned when he saw it wasn't even six am yet.

"Lance, I need to talk to you." AJ said as Lance walked into the room.

The pair walked out into the lounge, both worried about the upcoming discussion but for different reasons. Lance was worried that no one would believe him if he told the truth whereas AJ was worried that he would upset Lance if he voiced his suspicions.

"Can you tell me about why you're so scared of JC?" AJ asked once Lance had sat down.

"I can't, I'm sorry." Lance replied, looking at the floor.

"I know he hurts you, Lance." AJ said, his voice low with anger.

"Its my fault, if I didn't make him angry he wouldn't do it." Lance said guilt clear in his voice.

"Its not your fault and I'm not angry at you. I just want to know what's happening to you, Lance." AJ countered, seeing that Lance really believed it was his fault.

"It started a couple of mouths after I joined the group, at first it was just a small pinch when I did something wrong but now he punches me or kicks me if I do something wrong." Lance whispered, still looking at the floor.

"How often does he hit you?" AJ questioned, relieved that Lance was starting to open up.

"He only hits me when I mess up or when I make him look bad. He does it so that I'll learn, that's all." Lance answered truly believing that it was in his best interests.

"How often, Lance?" AJ asked once again.

"Normally only five times a week but its because I'm bad." Lance answered, sure that JC would hurt him if he discovered that Lance had revealed the truth to someone-especially AJ.

"It's not your fault, Lance." AJ said as he moved over to where Lance was sitting.

AJ quickly hugged Lance, knowing that Lance needed someone to comfort him and that the younger man needed help to get away from JC. As he held Lance, he felt tears soak through his shirt as Lance started to cry.

"Its okay, Lance. I'll help you." AJ whispered into Lance's ear at the same time wondering how he could get the Lance away from JC.

"No one can help me." Lance said dejectedly, the last time he had told someone they had laughed at him but AJ was actually listening to him.

"Have you told anyone else about JC?" AJ asked wanting to know if there was anyone, he could talk to about getting Lance far away from JC.

"I told Justin but he only laughed at me." Lance answered sadly, remembering how hurt he had been that his friend didn't believe him.

"I'm going to shower, why don't you order breakfast?" AJ said as he walked out of the room.

On his way to the bathroom, AJ grabbed his phone from the bedside table and quickly walked into the bathroom. Turning the shower on so that he could make sure Lance didn't hear he dialled Howie's number.

"Howie. It's me and I need some help-fast." AJ said as soon as Howie picked up the phone.

"What have you done now?" Howie asked trying to shake off the remains of sleep.

"If I tell you something can you keep it a secret?" AJ asked his voice serious.

"Of course, I'd never betray you. What's the secret?" Howie said, sensing that it was something big.

"Lance is getting beaten up by JC and I want to help him." AJ answered.

"Lance Bass?" Howie asked his brain not entirely awake.

"Do you know anyone else called Lance? Look, I'm not letting him go back to JC or those friends of his but I need to know how I can help him." AJ said his voice determined.

"The first thing would be to tell the rest of his group and see if they can do anything." Howie said unable to think of anything else at the moment.

"Call Chris and the others and ask them to come to my room as soon as possible. Make sure that no one tells JC, please. I'll call Kevin, Brian and Nick between the nine of us we're bound to come up with something." AJ said before turning off the phone and jumping in the shower.

AJ showered as fast as possible, not wanting to leave Lance alone any longer than necessary. He knew that it was probably going to be impossible to get Lance away from JC without help but at the same time, he didn't think the rest of Nsync would be much use. ****** "AJ, I've ordered breakfast, it'll be up in a couple of minutes." Lance shouted into the bathroom, before retreating to the lounge.

As he waited for AJ, Lance tried to figure out why the other man was helping him. He had always assumed that JC was only hitting him because he wanted to make Lance better and hadn't bothered getting angry about it. After the years of abuse, he had come to think that it was his fault and that it was normal. The rest of Nsync hadn't bothered to think about the almost constant bruises, always believing him when he said he fell or banged into something.

A loud knock on the door brought Lance out of his thoughts, seeing AJ was still in the shower, he opened the door. A part of his mind wondered if anyone would think it suspicious that he was in AJ's room so early but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was more worried about what would happen when JC found him, and JC would find him, he always did.

"Thanks." Lance said to the boy, giving a high tip. Seconds later the boy left with a small wave.

Grabbing a robe, AJ walked into the lounge, his stomach calling for food. He found Lance busy pouring coffee and orange juice. With a smile AJ sat down and started to place food onto his plate, seconds later Lance copied him.

"After breakfast, can I call the rest of my group and ask them to come over? I know you're scared of JC finding out that you told me but I think I'll need their help to get you away from him." AJ said, knowing that he had to tell Lance his plans.

"Are you sure they won't tell JC or be angry with me?" Lance asked his voice like a lost child.

"No one is blaming you, Lance and they won't tell him. They wouldn't do something like that. Is it okay if I call Justin, Chris and Joey and invite them over, as well?" AJ said softly, he could tell that Lance thought that his friends would think he was making it up.

"I guess, you'll be here right?" Lance replied, not wanting to alone in case JC found him. He knew that JC would be angry because he had run away last night and an angry JC meant that he ended up with more bruises than normal.

"Sure, I won't leave you alone." AJ said solemnly.

As soon as he finished breakfast, AJ walked over to the hotel phone and dialled Kevin's room. After a couple of minutes, he heard Kevin mumble an indistinct greeting.

"Kev, you awake?" AJ asked wanting to make sure Kevin was conscious.

"I am now. What do you want at...six thirty in the morning?" Kevin replied wearily.

"It's an emergency. Can you come to my room in a couple of minutes? Bring Nick and Brian with you." AJ replied, knowing that Kevin wouldn't be happy at being woken up so early when they didn't have any meetings until noon.

"What sort of emergency?" Kevin replied concerned that something had happened to AJ.

"I can't get into it on the phone. Just come to my room in five minutes with the others. I'll call Howie myself. See you later." AJ said, ending the call and dialling Howie's number.

"Come to my room in five minutes with the Chris, Justin and Joey. Don't tell JC." AJ said as soon as he heard Howie.

Satisfied that everything was sorted AJ ended the call and turned back to Lance who was staring at him admiration burning in his eyes. AJ pushed the tray out into the hall, looking around in case JC was searching for Lance.

"Thanks. Have you got any clothes I can borrow?" Lance said, not wanting to go back to the room he shared with JC.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if they'll fit you." AJ replied walking into the bedroom, Lance following seconds behind. Opening the closet, AJ took out a pair of black jeans and a black tank top. Rustling through his underwear, he passed Lance a pair of black socks and pants.

"I'll get dressed while you shower." AJ said, ushering Lance into the bathroom, wanting to be organised for when the others turned up.

Lance showered quickly, knowing that he didn't have long before he had to face everyone and tell them the secret he had kept hidden for years, How would they treat him once they knew the truth? Lance walked into the bedroom and dressed quickly, walking into the other room while still towel drying his hair. Looking up at the feeling of eyes on him, Lance found himself staring at the shocked and confused faces of his seven friends.

"Why have you just come out of AJ's bedroom?" Chris asked the question that was in everyone's mind.

"I stayed here last night." Lance replied not wanting to go into details and tell everyone that he had ran to AJ because he was afraid of JC.

"If you'd all sit down, I'll tell you all why I asked everyone here so early." AJ stated, sitting down next to Lance, remembering his promise not to leave his friend alone.

"We thought something had happened to you. JC said that you just disappeared yesterday." Justin said to Lance angrily.

"You should tell them Lance, they really need to hear it from you." AJ whispered to Lance.

Lance started shaking thinking about what would happen if JC found out that he told them. He stopped when AJ pulled him close, comforting him through touch. Their behaviour only caused their friends to look at them in confusion, wondering why the pair where so close.

"I ran into AJ last night in the hall when I was running away from JC. I was crying and AJ let me hide out in his room." Lance said, swallowing he continued, "I had made Josh mad because I answered him back and he was going to teach me not to but I ran."

"What do you mean teach you?" Chris asked his voice low.

"He was going to hit me, he does it when I do something wrong to teach me not to." Lance said, looking at the floor. He didn't want to see the hate and disgust on the faces of his friends, he knew it was his fault and that he was weak for not being able to stop JC.

"Not this again. You're lying Lance, JC wouldn't hurt anyone especially you." Justin said his voice sure.

"Its true. I know it's my fault and I'm sorry." Lance said hopelessly.

"Shut up, Justin. Lance wouldn't make this up, you should know that." Joey said as he looked at his friend wondering why he hadn't realised.

Chris moved to Lance and pulled the younger man from the chair into a crushing hug, looking at his friend in alarm when Lance gave a yelp of pain. Letting go, Chris moved away from Lance and slowly lifted up his friend's top despite Lance's protests.

The eight men stared in shock at Lance's chest, the younger man was covered in a mixture of black and blue bruises, mainly on the ribs. AJ noticed the cut down Lance's back. He gently followed the pattern, seeing that a knife had been rubbed across Lance's back, making the skin an angry red.

Lance lowered his top, not wanting anyone to see the signs of his faults. Lance was sure that if he had been better, Josh wouldn't have had to hurt him. AJ sat down in shock, he wanted nothing more than to find JC, and beat him up but if he did it wouldn't help Lance.

As soon as AJ sat down, Lance moved so that he was practically on the other man's lap. He wanted to be in the only place he felt safe and that was with AJ but he knew that it couldn't last. He had no choice but to return to JC and his normal life of pain, he was still a member of Nsync and nothing AJ could do would change that.

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 2/? Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse

Part 2

"So what are we going to do now?" Joey asked knowing that he couldn't allow Lance to stay with JC now he knew the truth.

"I need your help to get Lance away from him." AJ stated, as he pulled Lance onto his knee.

"JC's in love with you so why does he hit you?" Justin said in confusion before stopping when he realised he had voiced his thoughts and everyone was staring at him.

"I know he's in love with me, he told me a couple of weeks after I joined the group, but that doesn't mean a thing." Lance said causing everyone to look at him in shock. Lance simply buried his head into AJ's chest.

"Just because JC loves him doesn't give him the right to hurt Lance." Chris spat out, watching the way Lance was holding onto AJ.

"JC said he didn't want to hurt me but it was my fault for behaving the way I do." Lance said half to himself, not realising that AJ had heard him.

"It's not your fault, never think that it is. The only person to blame is JC, he's the one who hurts you." AJ whispered into Lance's ear, at the same time wondering if Lance would ever believe him.

"How long has he been hurting you?" Chris asked, feeling it was a while from the way Lance was acting.

"A month after I joined the group, he started pinching me when I did something wrong but then it got worse. I told him that I wasn't in love with him and he started punching me in the stomach because I had made him mad but he said sorry afterwards." Lance answered, remembering the day clearly.

"Lance are you in a relationship with JC?" Kevin asked, wanting to know the details.

"It depends what you mean, for the last year he's raped me at least once a week but I don't think that is really a relationship. He seems to think we are though, he thinks he owns me and that he has the right to use me however he feels. The last time I tried to stop him from raping me he left me tied up for a couple of days without food, when he returned I was too weak to stop him." Lance said his voice weary. He didn't see the point in going over everything that had happened when there wasn't anything anyone could do to help him.

"Why didn't you tell one of us what was happening?" Chris questioned, wanting to know why he had missed the signs that his friend was being abused.

"I told Justin that Josh was hitting me just over a year ago, before the rapes started. Justin laughed at me and told Josh and I just ended up with a more brutal beating than normal, that night was the first time he raped me. You hate me, don't you?" Lance said, before breaking down in tears as he remembered that day-the day he gave up any hope of one of his friends helping.

Justin looked at Lance and wondered how he could have thought his friend was making it up and he felt guilt and anger over his behaviour. Was it his fault that JC had started raping Lance? Lance himself had admitted that the first time JC ever raped him was that night. If he had just listened to Lance he may have been able to save Lance from the last year of rapes, but he had dismissed it all as a sick joke. Now Lance was sitting here, telling them all it was his own fault that he was raped and beaten, and Justin could tell that Lance believed what he was saying.

"We don't hate you, Lance. But now that we know what's been happening we can stop JC". Brian said his voice low and soothing.

"No one can stop him-maybe I should go back now and get it over with." Lance said to himself, looking up when he felt eyes watching him.

"You could press charges against him. Would you do that?" Nick asked, already knowing the answer.

"If I do that everyone will know what happened and it's be the end of Nsync. Even if I press charges it's only my word against his and who'd believe me?" Lance said, he had already thought about it when JC had first started hitting him.

"What about making JC see a psychiatrist?" Howie asked suspecting that there was something wrong with JC if the other man could hurt someone he claimed to love.

"I don't think we could make him do that." Justin said, knowing how stubborn and angry JC was.

"The first thing is to cancel the rest of your tour." AJ told the four Nsync members, not wanting Lance to spend any time with JC if he could help it.

"I'll talk to Johnny and see if we can do something between us." Chris stated, picking up the phone to make the call.

"I'm staying with Lance today-can you tell the magazine I'm sick or something?" AJ said to Kevin, not wanting to leave Lance, he had promise to stay with the younger man and he could keep his promise. The main reason he wanted to stay with Lance was just in case JC found the younger man; he wanted to be there to protect Lance if the need arose.

"Of course, who's going to keep an eye on JC? We can't take the chance that he finds Lance or suspects that you're hiding him." Howie said, wanting to make sure his friends were safe or at least as safe as they could be with JC still around.

"I'll do that, he won't suspect anything if I spend the day with him. I'll tell him I haven't seen Lance if he asks and everyone else should do the same." Justin said, wanting to atone for his earlier dismissal of Lance's words as lies. ******* Chris quickly dialled Johnny's number and impatiently started drumming on the table. He wanted to go and face JC and make him pay for what he had done to Lance. He had sworn to protect Lance but he had failed to even see that his friend was being hurt from someone he should have been able to trust. How many other things had he simply refused to see?

"Chris, what's wrong?" Johnny asked concerned, he had never expected to hear from Chris, he normally talked to Lance about any problems.

"We've just found out that JC has been beating Lance since a month after he joined the group and for the last year JC has been raping him. We need to get Lance away from JC as soon as possible." Chris said, fighting to keep in control, the very words made him sick to the stomach.

Johnny couldn't believe what he was hearing; he had never suspected JC was capable of what Chris was telling them. He had always thought the relationship between JC and Lance was intense to say the least-he realised that it must have been because Lance was afraid of JC.

"Oh God, how did you find out?" Johnny asked, aghast at what had happened.

"Lance just told us but he thinks he deserved it. Can we get someone to talk to Lance?" Chris said, knowing that his friend needed help to get through the years of pain and fear.

"I'll call a friend of mine who specialises in domestic abuse and ask her to see him as fast as possible. Is Lance safe for now?" Johnny answered, trying to think of what he could do now.

"Yeah-AJ's going to stay with him for now and JC still thinks Lance is missing." Chris said, noticing the way Lance was sitting on AJ's knee, holding onto AJ like he was never going to let the other man go. Was Lance simply latching onto the first person he felt had protected him or did Lance have feelings for AJ? The issue was too much for Chris to go into at the moment, but he knew that he had to discuss it with the others.

"I'll find somewhere for Lance to hideout while we deal with JC. Has Lance considered pressing charges?" Johnny said, the tapping of keys could be heard clearly through their connection.

"He said that if he presses charges everyone will find out and he doesn't want that." Chris said, privately thinking that he would do his best to get Lance to go to the police.

"I'll talk to a friend of mine who works with the police and see if we can come up with something. Tell Lance that I'm going to help him and have someone watch JC." Johnny said, seconds before he ended the call.

"Johnny said he has a friend he wants to talk too about pressing charges and he's going to get you somewhere to stay until we deal with JC." Chris said looking at Lance; he wanted his friend to know everything that was happening.

"You'll come with me, won't you?" Lance asked AJ, looking the other man straight in the eyes.

AJ could see the fear in Lance's eyes and knew then that he would do everything in his power to take that fear away. A part of his mind was telling him that it was a bad idea to fall in love with Lance when the younger man was vulnerable but it was pointless. AJ already knew that he was starting to fall for Lance but wasn't going to reveal his feelings while Lance was still confused-he wouldn't take advantage of his friend like that.

"I'll come with you. I won't leave you alone, Lance I promise." AJ said, letting Lance see the truth in his eyes.

The pair didn't see the alarmed looks their friends shared at their behaviour, instead they were looking in each other's eyes. To them the world had faded away as they revelled in their new bond.

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 3/? Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse

Part 3

Howie watched the scene in front of him and mentally groaned, it was clear at least to him that AJ was starting to fall for Lance. He was certain that the pair shouldn't start a relationship until JC was dealt with. Lance had spent years being abused and wouldn't be emotionally ready for a relationship for a while, he knew that AJ wouldn't push the other man but he wondered if the situation would be too much strain for AJ to handle.

Joey watched the couple-or at least that's what he figured they'd be get lost gazing into the other's eyes. He couldn't understand why this had happened to Lance but perhaps no one could. He had always assumed that it was the kind of thing that happened to strangers but it had actually happened to someone he cared about. As Joey watched Lance, he could see the fear in the man's eyes, Lance looked like he expected everyone to leave him alone and vulnerable-but essentially that was what had happened. For years he was abused, no one had noticed, he hadn't even noticed, and he was supposed to be Lance's best friend.

Kevin was feeling angry and sad, the anger was over how Lance had been treated but it was also at himself, he had spent hours with Nsync and had never noticed. Well that wasn't strictly true, he had noticed that JC's eyes would follow Lance whenever the younger man moved but had always assumed the pair were dating. He couldn't help but think that Lance would never be the same again, a stupid thought but true. Of course, Lance would never be the same but had he really known the true Lance? He had never really known Lance, Kevin realised in that moment, he had always accepted the happy, shy image Lance had projected but Lance had never been happy he had perfected the image probably to keep people from realising so that he wouldn't be punished.

Justin was feeling was feeling sick and angry. He wasn't sure which emotion would win but he wanted to run and hide. He felt guilty as he remembered every time he had gone out, leaving Lance alone with JC. He had never suspected JC would hurt Lance, oh yeah he'd wondered why Lance had come to him crying and begging for help to hide from JC. He had dismissed it as a joke and had told JC; looking back Justin could see the anger that had flashed into Josh's eyes for a second. The next day Lance had avoided looking at everyone, Justin had always assumed it was because he was embarrassed over what he had said about JC. Lance had been embarrassed alright but not for the reason he had always assumed, he could even remember the way Lance had walked funny, something Justin had teased him about all day. He had ignored the pain in Lance's eyes that had grown with every joke.

Nick didn't know what to do, he wanted to help Lance, but he wasn't sure if Lance would accept his help. From Lance's behaviour, it was clear that the other man was afraid and embarrassed but was that because of what happened or was it because he wasn't able to stop JC? Lance had said he was weak earlier but Nick couldn't help but think that nothing was further from the truth; Lance was the strongest person he had ever known. Lance had spent years being abused and had come out of it relatively intact, yeah there were scars were but what amazed him was that Lance was still able to trust someone. Nick was positive that if it had happened to him he wouldn't have been able to make it, he probably would have surrendered years ago. He just hoped that Lance would let AJ help him; Lance needed someone to hold onto and someone to feel safe with.

Chris was certain that AJ had feelings for Lance or at least he was heading that way. AJ was already protective of Lance and cared about him, it wouldn't be that much further for the friendship to turn into love. He couldn't help but think that if AJ did anything to hurt Lance he would happily kill the Backstreet Boy. He had failed Lance once, he wouldn't do it again.

Lance yawned, then looked around in embarrassment. Looking at the clock, he discovered that it was only just ten am and he was already tired. He wondered what would happen now, it was easy for someone to promise to get him away from JC, but until it happened, he wasn't going to hold his breath. Words didn't mean a thing, JC had promised he'd never hurt him after every beating and rape, he'd learnt the hard way not to take anyone at their word. AJ was different to JC, he had cried and AJ didn't even shout at him. Lance knew that if he cried with JC he would have gotten at least a punch as punishment, depending on JC's mood.

"Time for you to go." AJ said looking at the seven men, who were still staring at the pair.

Lance nestled further into AJ's arms fear burning in his eyes, as Kevin approached. It was a purely instinctive reaction, in that second he had flashed on the events of only two days ago when he'd accidentally spilt a drink on JC's notebook. He calmed as he felt AJ's hands move gently around his waist.

With an embarrassed smile, Lance looked up at Kevin and saw the guilt in the older man's eyes. He could see that Kevin felt he had done something to make Lance so afraid. Gently tapping AJ's arms to signal the other man to let go, Lance stood and walked over to Kevin and stopped in front of the older man. He was shocked when Kevin hugged him for a second Lance tensed, expecting to feel pain any second. Mentally chanting that he was safe and AJ was nearby, Lance willed his body to relax and returned the hug for a few seconds, smiling when he heard Kevin promise that he would help stop JC. It was sweet that so many people were trying to help him; Lance thought to himself, he admitted to himself that it was a useless effort. JC would find him and exact his punishment; he had found Lance the last time he had run away.

As Kevin walked away, Lance was startled to see the other six all waiting to hug him, he turned and arched his eyebrow to AJ in question. AJ simply smiled and mouthed the words "I'm here. It's okay."

AJ was relieved to see Lance relax and accept the hugs of his friends; he knew that Lance was confused by the display of affection. The younger man had come to expect only pain and recrimination instead of love and friendship.

Lance hugged each of his friends even if he was confused as to why they wanted to touch him. He was dirty and he didn't deserve to be touched, at least that's what he believed. Lance knew it was true because JC had told him every night that he was dirty and no one would ever want to touch him after they knew the truth.

AJ closed the door with a sigh, placing a Do Not Disturb sign on the outside. As much as he knew the other seven were needed to get Lance away from JC, he didn't want them around Lance. The three Nsync members didn't deserve to be near Lance, AJ felt. The three had ignored all the signs that Lance was being abused, in his opinion, they didn't deserve to even see Lance. But AJ knew that his friends were important to Lance, and that the younger man would need the help of his family and friends. His friends would be there for him but AJ had no idea about Lance's family. It was possible that Lance's family would reject it when they learnt the truth; AJ had read a newspaper report of a case when that happened. He hoped for Lance's sake that didn't happen, he was sure that Lance wouldn't survive his family's rejection.

"Time to go to bed, Lance." AJ said, seeing Lance yawning out the corner of his eye.

"Sure, you aren't angry with me for sleeping with you last night, are you? I'd understand if you were." Lance said nervously.

"Of course not. Where else were you going to sleep? Do you want me to wake you up later?" AJ asked, managing not to ask Lance if he could sleep with him, he wanted to make sure Lance slept okay but was certain that Lance wouldn't want him there now that he knew about the rapes.

"If...you don't mind I'd like it if you could hold me, just until I go asleep." Lance said his voice so low, AJ had to strain to hear it.

"I'd like that, I was thinking of going to sleep anyway." AJ said, seeing how scared Lance was to ask him.

The pair walked into the bedroom in silence. AJ grabbed two old t-shirts from his bag. Passing one to Lance, AJ quickly changed, looking away so Lance could do the same. He remembered how self-conscious Lance was about the bruises and didn't want to do anything that might upset his friend.

Lance quickly got into the bed, pulling the covers over his body, sighing contently when he realised that the cut on his back wasn't rubbing against his shirt. AJ quickly got into bed, not moving, unsure of what Lance wanted him to do. The decision was taken out of his hand, as Lance moved his body so that his head was lying on AJ's chest and promptly fell asleep; the other man's heart beat soothing him. AJ started to absently run his hand through Lance's hair, as he snaked one hand gently around Lance's waist. He wanted to make sure that Lance was there, he knew he wouldn't sleep unless he was confident that Lance was safe and with him.

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 4/? Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse

Part 4

Lance screamed in anger, feeling the rope digging into his skin, in front of him AJ was lying handcuffed to the bed. As he watched helplessly, JC walked into the room, a cruel smirk on his face. But that wasn't what caught Lance's attention; in his hand, JC was carrying two lit candles. With a smile at lance, JC poured the hot wax onto AJ's balls, laughing as AJ howled in pain.

Lance screamed for JC to let AJ go, shouting that he was sorry and wouldn't run away again. JC looked at him with emotionless eyes and smiled, intoxicated by the fear rolling off Lance. Lance watched unable to move, as JC roughly unfastened the handcuffs, moving AJ so that the other man was on all fours. Lance knew what was going to happen now only too well... as JC unfastened his pants Lance howled in protest...and jumped awake crying in relief that it had all been a dream.

What if JC found out about AJ? Lance's heart pounded in his chest as he remembered the nightmare and look in JC's eyes. He knew that JC would delight in making AJ suffer once he found out about their friendship. JC had always made sure that Lance had no friends outside the group, not that Lance ever confided in his group mates-he had been taught not too.

Lance smiled as he heard AJ chanting, "Its okay, Lance. I'm here and I'm not going to let JC hurt you."

Lance didn't know how to explain that he wasn't afraid for himself. He was used to the pain, fear, and humiliation. But he didn't want AJ to ever have to go through it and if JC found him, he would delight in breaking AJ. Lance wouldn't let that happen, not when he had found someone he felt safe with and could be himself.

The shrill sound of the phone ringing caused both of them to jump, reaching over with AJ picked up the phone, his other hand still in Lance's hair.

"AJ here, what's up?" AJ asked, looking down at Lance, he could feel the other man starting to relax.

"Get Lance out of there now!!" Chris whispered into the phone, his voice making it clear that it was urgent.

AJ slammed the phone down and looked at Lance wondering how he was going to break the news that JC knew where Lance was, he knew Lance would start panicking once he heard the truth.

"Lance, we need to get dressed. Chris found us somewhere to stay until we've got JC out of the way." AJ said his voice soft, as he waited for Lance to process what he had just said.

Lance quickly got out of bed and pulled on the clothes AJ had given him that morning. From the way AJ was acting, Lance knew they had to get out of here soon. As Lance was dressing, AJ stuffed all his clothes into a bag and quickly changed. Throwing Lance a hat and a pair of sunglasses, AJ put on a baseball cap and took a quick look around the room. Grabbing his mobile, AJ took Lance's hand and squeezing gently walked over to the door.

AJ took a brief look down the corridor and certain the coast was clear walked down towards the stairs, still holding Lance's hand. As soon as they reached the stairs the pair walked down to the ground floor as fast as possible. Letting go of the younger man's hand, AJ walked out of the hotel, Lance just seconds behind.

Lance wondered just what the plan was now, they were out of the hotel but how where they supposed to run away without being spotted. He watched as AJ hailed a cab and gently ushered Lance inside, looking around before getting in himself.

"Take us to the nearest car rental place as fast as you can." AJ said before looking at his companion.

Lance looked tired and scared, AJ almost cried when he saw the way Lance was shaking. Uncaring of what the cabbie might think, AJ took Lance's hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the other man's hand.

"Where are we going, Alex?" Lance asked not wanting to say AJ's name in case the cabbie recognised it.

"I've got a cabin that I haven't told the others about. We can stay there until we hear from the others." AJ replied knowing that Lance needed to know the plan and have some control in his life.

The cab pulled up outside the airport with a loud screech, AJ paid the driver and got out, holding Lance's hand the whole time. He wasn't sure if it was an attempt to comfort Lance or himself. Walking over to the ATM, AJ called up his account and withdrew enough cash to hire a car and to buy supplies once they arrived at their destination.

"I'd like to rent a car please." AJ asked, flashing a quick smile.

"Of course Sir. Would that be cash or credit card? ?" She replied, sounding annoyingly perky.

"Cash" AJ answered, signing the forms Alex Richards. This way there would be harder for anyone to find them, including the press.

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 5/? Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse

Part 5

"It's okay, Lance. No one is going to find us; I signed the forms Alex Richards. No one would think of using it apart from maybe Howie and he won't tell anyone." AJ said as he fastened his seatbelt, looking over at Lance who was tapping his fingers on his dashboard. Lance looked okay, AJ thought to himself, or as okay as he was going to be with JC around.

"Why Alex Richards?" Lance asked, willing himself to relax now that he knew it would be harder for JC to find him.

"It was an old alias I used a couple of times whenever I wanted to be just me for a while. I finally realised that I needed another name if I was going to hide-McLean was too noticeable. Howie suggested that I simply use on of the others surnames' I thought was too obvious and picked Richards, Kevin is like the dad of the group." AJ replied as he pulled the car out into the traffic, he knew their route off by heart and was positive that it would be safe for a while.

Four hours later they arrived, at a small grocery store, knowing he didn't have any food left in cabin AJ stopped the car and asked Lance if he wanted to wait. Lance looked terrified at the possibility of being left alone and AJ wanted nothing more to find some wall to hit, how could he have even thought about leaving Lance alone?

As they walked inside a tall, Chinese woman said, "Hi, Alex. Is this your man, then?"

"Nah, he's too good for me. Lia this is Lance, one of my best friends." AJ said with a smile, he caught sight of the surprise on Lance's face at what he had said.

"Good to meet you, Lance. If you ever need anything just see me, any friend of Alex's is a friend of mine. Although I don't know how you can put up with this, idiot." Lia replied kindly, nudging AJ as she finished speaking.

"N..Nice to meet you Lia, do you live around here?" Lance said calming as he noticed that AJ wasn't going to leave him alone. Although he felt comfortable with Lia he didn't like being alone in case JC found him again. Despite what AJ had said, and what he knew rationally the fear of JC finding him was all too real.

"Just down the street, how long are you guys staying here?" Lia said as she passed AJ a basket.

"Haven't decided yet, I just remembered we needed supplies and figured it would be easier to get them now rather than having to rush later." AJ said with a smile.

"I'll leave you to your shopping, just remember to see me before you leave." Lia said as she walked over to the counter where a small queue was waiting.

As she left Lance let out an unneeded breath. It wasn't that he didn't like Lia she seemed nice he was just uncomfortable around people, he was not used to people being nice to him.

"Anything special you want?" AJ asked as he walked down the aisle, throwing food in the basket, figuring that some foods everyone liked. Grabbing a couple of medical supplies, AJ wondered how was going to ask Lance to let him take care of the cuts and scratches that covered the younger man's back.

"I'll eat almost everything" Lance said with a shrug, grabbing food from the shelves and placing it into the basket.

The pair quickly finished shopping and walked over to the checkout, where Lia quickly packed up their food, smiling at the way Lance was insisting he should pay for half and AJ was ignoring him.

"That's $60, I guess you needed more than you thought. Have a nice vacation." Lia said as AJ paid her and guided Lance out the store, each one had their arms full of bags of food.

"Lance, you okay?" AJ asked, alarmed at how quiet Lance had been since they had stopped at the store.

"I'm okay, I was just thinking." Lance said offering a small smile, turning to watch the world race by as AJ weaved down the roads.

"We're here. It's not much but its perfect for escaping." AJ said as he parked the car outside a log cabin, half hidden by the large trees.

Lance quickly unfastened the seatbelt and got out the car, eager to see where he would be spending the next few days or weeks. As AJ opened the door, Lance walked inside and looked around.

In the middle of the lounge was a beautiful log fire. The couch was black leather, matching the two armchairs. In the corner sat a large TV, and DVD player. Lance quickly headed for the bedrooms, wanting to get the feel of the place.

"This is your room, mine is just next door." AJ said, realising that he had forgotten to pick up some clothes for Lance to wear. He knew that for the time being, Lance could wear his clothes and they could go shopping the next day.

"Its nice, any reason why it's decorated in greens?" Lance asked, absently noticing the dream catcher above the bed.

"There are five bedrooms, each one is in a different colour. My bedroom is in red, mainly because I like the colour red. The other rooms are decorated in yellow, blue and silver. I picked colours I liked the most for each bedroom." AJ said thoughtfully. He just hoped that Lance liked the room; he wanted Lance to feel safe with him.

"It's a nice dream catcher." Lance said, his voice clearly asking the question why did AJ have dream-catchers?

"They're in every bedroom, I have a lot of nightmares and figured it would be easier to put them in each room, rather than lugging mine around with me." AJ said, hoping that Lance wouldn't have any more nightmares. AJ wanted to ask Lance if the other man would sleep in his room with him, so that he could make sure he was protecting Lance. He felt like the only thing that mattered was that Lance was safe, AJ knew that he would be worried whenever Lance wasn't with him.

"Are you going to call Chris and tell him where we are?" Lance asked, having realised that Chris and the others probably had no idea where they had disappeared. AJ had said that Chris had found somewhere for them to hideout but it was obvious that no one knew about the cabin from what AJ had said.

"I will after." AJ replied evasively, he was going to put of calling the others as long as he could, the less people who knew their location the less chance of JC catching them.

"Do you want some help to get the stuff out the car?" Lance asked as he realised just how much stuff they had with them.

"Sure, but there isn't much really." AJ said with a small smile, he normally brought a lot more just for himself.

The pair quickly walked out to the car, AJ passed a few of the lighter bags to Lance. He had seen the injuries Lance had and wasn't going to let the other man hurt himself. Lance of course, knew what AJ was doing but found it sweet; no one else had ever been so worried about him apart from his mom.

As AJ carried the last bag into the kitchen there was a loud high-pitched ringing. AJ quickly looked around for his phone, smiling in thanks when Lance passed it to him.

"Hey, Howie." AJ said in greeting as he started putting the food away.

"The press know Lance was in your room last night and JC's on the warpath." Howie said soothingly, he knew AJ was going to blow when he heard everything.

"How did they find out!?" AJ asked a mix of anger and confusion in his voice.

"The guy who took breakfast up your room went to the press. Nsync has cancelled the rest of the tour, saying that Lance is ill. We've got a press conference in two hours." Howie said knowing that he had to keep AJ in the loop.

"Anything else you need to tell me (?)" AJ asked sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, there are photos of you and Lance leaving the hotel together. Wait a sec, Chris wants to talk to you..." Howie said the phone going silent.

"AJ, you better take care of Lance." Chris said, the threat clear.

"Don't worry we're okay. Come up with any ideas what we're doing about JC yet?" AJ asked, not liking the fact that JC was still loose.

"Yeah, but it depends on Lance talking to the police. Johnny said that we might be able to get the records sealed so that no one finds out." Chris replied remembering Lance's fear that everyone would find out about the years of abuse.

"I'll talk to him and see what happens. Does JC have any idea that we know what he's being doing to Lance?" AJ said, looking around for Lance, shocked to find the younger man was asleep in front of the fire.

"No, he thinks you kidnapped Lance. You going to tell us where you are?" Chris said a smile in his voice.

"No, that way there's no chance of JC finding out." AJ said as he ended the call.

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 6/? Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship. Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or the Backstreet Boys. Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse

Part 6

AJ gently picked up the exhausted Lance and placed the younger man on the couch, covering him with a cream throw from the closet. He knew that he had to tell Lance about what the others had said but figured it could wait. Lance needed to rest properly, knowing that he was away from JC.

AJ sat down on the armchair opposite Lance and just looked at the younger man. A part of his mind acknowledged the fact that he was falling hard for Lance but he knew that didn't matter. The most important thing was to get JC out of the way, far away from Lance.

Standing AJ shook himself out of his daze and opened his bag, looking for some clothes that Lance could wear. Picking out some of his less outrageous clothes he placed them to one side. An hour later he had sorted the clothes out into definite and maybe.

Looking at his watch, AJ was surprised to see that it was three pm, no wonder his stomach was screaming for food, the last time he'd eaten was at six fifteen that morning. He walked over to the kitchen and started to work, forty minutes later the soup was simmering gently.

"Lance, time to wake up." AJ said into Lance's ear as he gently ran his fingers through Lance's hair, for some reason he couldn't stop touching the younger man's hair.

"What's the great smell?" Lance asked groggily as he awoke, to the strange feeling of safety.

"Lunch, its only soup but I figured you might be hungry." AJ said as he walked out to the kitchen, putting the food out.

"Thanks." Lance called after AJ as he ran a hand over his face trying to wake himself up.

AJ carried two bowls of food into the dining room, where Lance was waiting eagerly. The younger man felt like he hadn't eaten in days, despite the fact that they had breakfast that morning.

"This is great." Lance said, as he tasted the steaming soup, it had always been a comfort food for him.

"Lance, I need to talk to you about pressing charges. We can get the judge to seal the records and probably get courtroom sealed as well so that the press can't get in. So no one would find out unless you told them." AJ said soothingly, not mentioning the fact that JC knew Lance was with him or that the press seemed to think they were dating.

"Honest?" Lance questioned, ignoring the shakes wracking his body.

"I wouldn't lie to you about this, Lance. Want to watch a movie?" AJ said as he picked up the two bowls and took them out into the kitchen.

Lance followed just a few seconds later, he didn't like being alone. Whenever he was alone, Lance couldn't help but feel afraid that JC was going to find him and punish him.

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Want me to dry?" Lance said as AJ quickly washed the dishes.

"We can leave them to drain. Lance, would it be okay if I cleaned your back? Some of the cuts look pretty deep and I don't want them to get infected." AJ said, gently as he turned to look at Lance.

"I.. I guess. The bedroom, okay?" Lance said, in shock. He didn't really want anyone to touch him, he felt too dirty. If it would make AJ feel better, he'd let the older man clean his wounds.

"Yeah, I'll just grab the first aid kit." AJ replied, taking the box from its place on the wall. ******* Lance quickly took off his top and lay down on the bed, unable to suppress his shudder of fear. He didn't like being so exposed and vulnerable. He kept repeating his mantra in his head, `this is AJ not JC. AJ won't hurt me'

AJ reverently washed Lance's back, taking care not to hurt the obviously scared man anymore. Taking the ointment from its packet, he massaged the cool cream onto Lance's inflamed back.

AJ took the antiseptic spray from its packet and placed it on the cut, there was a deep cut on Lance's side that appeared to have been made by a whip of some sort. He dressed the wound, and moved off the bed, letting Lance turn over to look at him.

"Does anywhere else hurt?" AJ asked gently, he didn't want to frighten Lance anymore than he already had.

"On.. On my thigh, JC cuts them sometimes." Lance said, looking down in shame.

"I'll have to have a look at them, I won't hurt you Lance." AJ said, seeing the shame in Lance's face.

Wordlessly Lance unfastened his pants, dropping them to the floor with his underwear. He lay back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to see the anger on AJ's face.

Lance shivered, as AJ gently cleaned his thighs, he was amazed that AJ was even touching him there. A small tear rolled down his face as the thought crossed his mind; no one had ever touched him like that before.

AJ swallowed audibly before saying, "They don't look too deep, thank god. I'm just going to put some antiseptic spray on them, it might sting a little."

As AJ left the room, to let Lance dress in private, He heard Lance whisper softly, "Thanks for helping me, AJ."

`I'd do anything for you, Lance' AJ thought to himself as he returned to the lounge, hunting through the DVDs for a suitable movie.

Next: Chapter 2


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