I was always into sex with women, because they are so beautiful and desirable. Even as a late teenage boy I was more fascinated with worshiping the female body, than pleasing myself. I could give oral sex for hours and have a woman cum again and again and still feel little need to get my load off. As I aged I realized that I was born a lesbian in a male body. Women have such wonderful curves and such incredible breast and their vaginas, I mean come on! The more feminine the better. I guess I could become a male sexual slave to a woman but somehow I always wanted to be an equal and fee the same things she was feeling. I want my nipples to swell and my vagina to get wet and my eyes to roll back in my head and lose control and cum and shiver and lose control.
I never thought of myself as a transsexual, or thought about dressing in women's cloths. I just felt deep inside I was a lesbian and I was going to spend this lifetime missing out on what really drove me, what turned me on. Female to female sex.
Sure in college I had lots of conquest and most the women were very grateful for all the time I spent pleasing them. In the end though they were not lesbians and eventually wanted a good fuck. I would do them a time or two and become bored, just wishing they would let me adore them and eat them until they reached nirvana. That was not good enough; they always wanted the dick to prove I was in love with them. As time moved on, I became reluctant to start a real relationship because I knew how it would end.
When the internet came around and chat rooms became the new thing I found a whole new world. Anonymity! I could create a female persona and meet real lesbians, women who appreciated where I was coming from. I would develop a whole personality, spend hours researching photos to put together a profile that would be believable. Then I would meet a beautiful woman on line and woe her for a week or more until sex crept into the chat. I would seduce her and in return she would seduce ma as a woman.
This became an addiction for me. I suddenly had a release for my pent up desire. I really was a lesbian and they really were having sex with me. We would both share unspeakable sexual encounters and for the first time I was getting satisfaction from self pleasure.
My characters became more elaborate and vivid. I was able to become an entirely full woman in my fantasies. I had so many satisfying relationships, that I always had to end because they wanted to meet and have sex in person. I was again becoming frustrated. Horney but unable to act on my desires.
One night in January I met a woman in a Latin Lesbian chat room. Her screen name was "Bruja 64" I found her pictures and profile irrisistable. Once again I launched into a fake relationship, doomed to fail. Well Bruja, or Maria as she turned out to be, was something extraordinary. We shared some of the most real fake sex I have aver had and from her reaction she felt the passion as well. Well as time went on it happened, she said she had planned vacation and was coming to see me. I tried every evasive method possible but she was determined. Finally I began ignoring her emails, I of course would read them but I never answered. At first she was worried, and then mad, later she was crushed and told me off, then the weirdest thing happened. She figured out the truth. I still monitored her emails and she wrote me that I must be a man, but that I must be trapped in a lesbians mind. She began telling me about Santeria, a Latin derivation of the Catholic Church, with roots in sacrifice and spiritual worship. She told me she loved me unconditionally and would pray for me and cast a few spells to help me cope with my heartbreak.
Of course I dismissed this as some Waco religion with no base in reality. I considered ignoring her emails but for some reason I could not. Maria told me to go out and buy certain things and certain spices and she would tell me to mix this with that and cook this and that. For some reason I was intrigued and for kicks and a feeling of love lost I did the things she asked. I never responded to her mail but somehow she knew I was still connected to her.
Two or three of her concoctions later I was about to make a clean break of it. Why was I leading her on, I would email her apologize and then cut her off cold. I emailed her that night and tried my best to let her down easy. She wrote back and asked me to confirm several things. Yes I was a man I confided, yes I was bug nuts for her, and yes I was a lesbian in my mind. Yes I had done to mixes she had sent me. Yes I had followed her directions to the tee. She asked me to do one more thing. Out of embarrassment, shame and a sense of investment I agreed. She said if I wasn't happy in three weeks she would leave ma alone and put a happiness spell on me so I could transcend the feelings I was born with, no strings attached.
I have to admit I was almost tempted to blow her off when she spelled out the details of my mission. She told me to go to my most desired clothing stores and buy a complete wardrobe. Try and imagine you a re a woman, any size or style woman you can envision. I want you to buy underwear in the size you envision yourself, and in the styles you think you might wear. Do the same with dresses, shoes, sweaters, nylons, and nighties and lastly find a wig in the style you envision yourself having your hair cut as. I have to say, I was confused, because I had concocted so many images of my self as a woman over the years. I had to buy a bottle of good rum and sit at home and drink and think.
I spent that night and two more nights in an altered state. I tried to drink away the emails, tried to just move on but whenever I relaxed, I would find myself zeroing in on the image of myself as I had always felt. I was definitely a brunette, medium straight black hair. I had large but not overly large breast, nice flat tummy, hips that gave me shape but not so big they were unsexy. Long legs but not overly tall and I saw myself as a very classy dresser.
Maria was patient, the only emails I got, asked if I had made up my mind yet. I would answer back and say, I am thinking about it. Several nights after work I walked the mall, just stopping in front of women's stores and day dreaming. My dreams were filled with some of the most vivid sex dreams I have ever had.
One Thursday night I bought a bottle of rum and made myself three large rum and cokes and suddenly got the desire and possibly the nerve to go out and purchase my dream wardrobe. I was surprised how exhilarated I felt on the way to the mall. For some reason I wasn't neither drunk, nor self conscious, it was like I had decided to go cloths shopping for the first time as a woman.
In a weird sort of way this was a fun shopping trip, I didn't have any pressure to get the right size, or color, I didn't have to try anything on, I just bought the most appealing cloths I found and told the sales girls they were for my daughter. Since everything was in a size way too small for me, they dotted on me and thought I was the best father in the world. I stopped in a restaurant and had a couple drinks, and then I really got the desire to finish shopping. I went to jewelry store and picked out earrings, necklaces and ankle bracelets as well as a few other odds and ends. Afterwards I went into a lingerie store and for the first time I was not embarrassed, I was on a mission. I picked out the sexiest panties and 34c bras and nighties and garters and hose, I had a fun time imagining my self in these fineries.
I was laden with bags and was headed toward the car when I saw a department store. I was drawn to the cosmetic counter. I told the sales girl I was surprising my daughter coming home from college, and wanted to get her the best cosmetics. She started with perfume. She must have sprayed a dozen scents on my wrist before I sniffed and said, that's it. The she sold me every makeup item there was in the most expensive brands I am sure, since my bill was over four hundred dollars.
When I got home I had a large nightcap, and settled at the computer to check mail. Maria was there, her message said, if you have the clothing, take everything you bought and take it out in the yard and bury it. Before you cover it in I need you to get a live chicken and slit its throat and drip the blood on the cloths and then bury it all.
I have to say that that was the final straw. I had been out spending hundreds of dollars and she wanted me to bury everything and commit some kind of sacrifice. I went inside and was going to pass out after my last drink when I heard a chicken clucking. I suddenly remembered that my back yard neighbors had chickens. It was around 2 am so I guess I was so drunk that I snuck back there and grabbed a hen. She started making a lot of noise, so I reached down and broke her neck. I went back to the yard and dug a hole. I placed everything in I had purchased; bags and all then took a kitchen knife and slit the chickens neck. I tossed the limp body in the hole and covered it all up.
I must have made it to bed because the next morning I woke up in bed, groggy but in bed. I decided to call in sick and go back to sleep. As I was dozing off, I found myself caressing my chest, and it felt nice. I rubbed my hair and it felt fuller and longer, I was so tired I just chocked it up to tiredness and horniness. The shopping trip had driven me wild with desire.
When I finally woke up, I was drug out. My body was like a lead weight, I reached down to scratch my balls and something felt different. MY dick felt smaller, my balls shrunken... I decided I was hung over when I rubbed my hand across my chest and felt some enlargement there. I sat up in bed and got out to go to the bathroom and look in the mirror...
The hair on my body was nearly gone, and I had very noticeable tits. I looked at my tool and it was shrunken to the point of an 8 year old. Ok I said out loud, I got soused last night, I better go back to bed. I was an old hand a drinking but I had never had the dt's before. I drank a glass of water and closed my eyes.
Next time I awoke, I was more lucid, the booze was gone, and I was hungry, so I sat up and swung my legs over the bed. As I went to stand up, I stumbled. I didn't hit the floor as soon as I normally did. I looked down automatically and was surprised by my shapely legs. Not a hair in sight. I felt like I might get an erection because my hairless legs were so sexy. Before I realized, I looked higher and couldn't see my equipment at all. I was hairless up to my groin and my dick seemed to be out of sight. I quickly dropped my fingers down to my groin and found a surprise. I was missing my privates; in their place was a slit. I touched it and my fingers slipped inside. Oh my God I had a vagina.
I reached up to my chest, and there I found a pair of medium sized pert breast. Unconsciously I ran my fingers across my hair in disbelief and found a full head of medium length hair there. All I could do was run to the computer. I typed into my email and there was a message from Maria.
My dear Carlotta, I hope you are pleased with your wildest dream; I am pleased to help you be yourself. You can dig up the cloths in the yard so you have something to wear. I hope you now get to meet a lesbian in real life and be happy.
Kisses, Maria