Cant Lose What You Never Had

By Mizz Pembroke

Published on Jun 21, 2000

Gay

***** DISCLAIMER: All the same rules apply. If you're to young, go away, if you don't like readying male/male erotic stories, go away, blah, blah, blah and so on!

This story is my first attempt at slash and is a work of fiction and in no way implies that the boys of Westlife or Boyzone are gay or bisexual other than Steven Gaytley who is openly gay.

Other possible groups and singers to be added into this story as it progresses are, N'sync, BSB, Ricky Martin, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Bree Sharp, Tara McLain, Madonna, Cher, Mariah Carey, and many more.

If you like this story and want to see it continue please e-mail me at Mizzpembroke@yahoo.com and let me know what you think. Opinions wanted and needed, all e-mails will be answered personally. So let me know. Thank you and enjoy! *****

CAN'T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD CHAPTER ONE Written by Mizz Pembroke Edited by Darren LeVanelle

Dear Journal, March 3rd

Today was extremely exhausting. Ronan had us in dance rehearsals at seven this morning, then a photo shoot for the American album, vocal practice and a show for the BBC to plug the new tour all before noon, then more dance and voice...so on and so forth.

Right now we just got finished with a meet and greet for tonight's concert. Who would have thought being part of Westlife, a boy band, was going to be so labor some. Sometimes I feel the limo is the only time I have to write any of my thoughts down. Most of the time that's only a ten or fifteen-minute interval before we have to get out at the next destination and start the cycle all over...See this is just what I was talking about! We're here already and need to get ready for tonight's show, so I'll get back to you soon...hopefully.

Always Nicky

"You ready to go Nicky." Shane said as he pushed his way out of the limo door into the waiting throng of fans that had surrounded their hotel.

"Yeah, sure...I guess!" Was Nicky's reply as the deafening screams and cry's filled the limo as the door was opened for Mark to push his way through. Reluctantly he grabbed his backpack and shoved his diary in as he sighed heavily putting a smile on his face while he to left the limo waving to the fans signing a few autographs along the way.

As they walked in to the grand entry hall of the penthouse that they were sharing together they say Ronan Keating, Steven Gately, and Liam Williamson, Steven's boyfriend. "Hey, Ronan, my man. What are you gents doing here?" Bryan asked as he entered the room and headed to the mini-bar. It overlooked a beautiful view of the park across the street from their hotel.

"Well, we thought that we would come and see the show tonight."

"Liam and I just happen to be in London tonight and we figured since Ronan was here with you gents on tour this week we'd drop in." Steven said as he smiled at the five young and attractive men of Westlife that stood in front of him as the thought of which one of these sexy men we would want the most if he wasn't already happily taken crossed his mind.

"Well that's great. Where's the rest of Boyzone?" Kian asked as he headed to the mini-bar also.

"Oh, you know. With their wives on a short vacation before we have to head back into the studio to work on our next album." Ronan said as he sat down on one of the huge over-stuffed plush leather couches. "Anyway you gents should be getting ready for tonight's show. We'll wait here for you guys to get changed then how bout we all go to dinner before the show?"

"That sounds great!" "Fine by me." "Food definitely." "That works." "I'll call and make reservations." The five young boys said almost at the same time.

"Great, then it's settled." Those were the first words to be heard from Liam.

"Do we have time to take showers?" Mark asked as he grabbed his bags and headed to the room he and Kian shared.

"Only if you gent's double up!" Ronan said with a smile on his face as he looked at Steven and his expression.

"What? We can't do that, besides Bryan, Shane, and I share a room." Nicky said, as he thought about the three of them in a steamy shower together.

"Why not? Steven and the other guys and I always doubled up on showers together." Ronan said still sitting on the couch.

"Oh you did, did you?" Liam said pointing the question at Steven.

"Ok, before we get into an argument Ronan and I have known each other for years and he's my best friend. Besides he's straight and married. Not my type either I might add. No offense Ro." Steven said trying to avoid a fight.

"I find that hard to believe...I mean look at him. He's cute and adorable and look at that body!!!" Liam said. "Sorry Ronan. Didn't mean to embarrass you." He said as every one in the room noticed Ronan's face turning three shades of red.

"No, no...um not a problem." He said trying to cover up his embarrassment. "I'm flattered!"

"Ok, any way it's not like you gents haven't seen each other in your birthday suits before. Hell even I've seen you all stark naked." Steven added in, drawing the attention of Westlife and his boyfriend.

"What?" Was the unison cry heard from every side of the room.

"Yeah, would you like to explain that...now?" Liam said angrily.

"Wait." He started to explain. "It's not like I have spy cameras or any thing like that. I've been back stage at several of their concerts. With all the costume changes you guys go through practically every one back stage has seen you in the buff or near to it."

"Now that I think about it he's right. You all are healthy young men and can handle doubling up on showers for one evening. Now go. You have thirty minutes before we have to leave." Ronan said as he strongly ended the conversation.

Without further topical discussion the boys left to their rooms to get ready.

Nicky was the first one undressed and wrapped in a towel. Shane and Bryan were still deciding what they were going to wear so he headed to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. Five minutes later both Shane and Bryan were impatiently pounding on the door.

Bryan opened the door and started yelling at him. "Come on already, hurry up."

"I just got in here. Wait your turn." Nicky bellowed back over the spray of the shower.

"We don't have time to wait." Shane bellowed back.

"Well then join me, the showers big enough and has three nozzles. Besides, Steven's right. I've seen both of you naked before, what's the big deal."

"What else can we do...Ro will kill us if we're late." Bryan said as he shucked off his towel and entered the massive walk-in shower with Shane following right behind him. "This is weird. I feel like I'm back in high school gym class."

"I know what you mean." Shane answered Bryan's remark.

"Why...was it customary for both of you to have monster hard-on's in the gym showers." Nicky asked with a smile on his face as Bryan and Shane looked at each other's enlarged dicks with embarrassment. "I mean my hard-on is contributed to having two sexy guys in the shower with me!" Nicky said with a grin on his lips then laughed at their expressions. "I'm kidding...I always get a hard-on in the shower." He said as he proudly displayed his own engorged cock.

"I...um I know you've never hidden the fact that your gay Nicky...but are you...um, are you attracted to us Nicky?" Bryan asked as he absentmindedly ran a soapy hand over his hard-on noticing Shane did the same.

"Well you guys are both very cute!" Nicky responded somewhat reluctantly. He gazed towards his two band mates, both of them looking over at him with desire in their eyes. "And nicely sized too. I wouldn't mind blowing both of you."

"Would you...like to Nicky?" Bryan asked softly. While he had initially meant it as a joke, Nicky realized this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. As a friend once told him 'If you ever have a dick waving in your face attached to a cute guy suck it. That is unless they'd object.' With that in mind he dropped to his knees grabbing each of their tools in his hands. As he looked up he noticed they both had their eyes shut.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked as he took the tip of Bryan's head in his mouth continually gliding his hand over Shane's deep purple shaft.

"No." They both said in unison.

"Well?"

"Well...we don't have time for embarrassment."

Kian and Mark stood there in their towels. "Lets go then."

They jumped in the shower together all the while trying not to look at each other. They did their business and got out.

They got dressed in silence, both of them wearing black cargo pants. Mark decided on a black wife beater tank top while Kian pulled a tight form fitting net muscle shirt on. They grabbed their matching silver metallic windbreaker jackets and slipped them on.

They stood at the mirror that took up the whole counter top length in their bathroom making last minute adjustments to their hair.

"How do I look?" Mark asked.

Kian took in the image standing next to him through the mirror and responded with a smirk on his face. "Like every teenaged girls walking dream."

"You too! Lets go, I'm sure Ronan is having a fit because we took longer than a half hour." Mark said as they both headed to the bedroom door.

As they entered the living room area of the penthouse suit they saw Ronan, Liam, Steven, Bryan, Nicky and Shane waiting impatiently for them.

"Can we go now?" Shane said harshly. He seemed edgy and nervous. As they headed for the door Nicky told them to hold the elevator as he ran back to his room. Upon his return everyone looked at him questioningly. "What? I forgot my backpack and my journal."

"What do you write in there all the time anyway?" Steven asked him as the elevator doors closed.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" he said with a smile on his face looking up at Bryan and Shane's faces noticing the disturbed look a crossed Shane's? 'What the hell's that look for?' He thought as the elevator started its descent.

Dear Journal, March 3rd

A real quick note. Something interesting and unexpected happened early today after I wrote in you the last time. Shane, Bryan, and I ended up in the shower together. Shane's not handling it so well. Since we left the hotel he has been really agitated. I should probable talk to him tonight after the show.

Until later, Nicky

"So where are we going to dinner." Kian asked as the limo pulled away from the hotel. "Well I thought we would go to Planet Hollywood or maybe the Hard Rock Café. So what will it be?" Ronan asked.

After a small discussion they all decided on the Hard Rock Café. After a short wait they were seated and ordered their meals. "So what's new on the tour guy's?"

"Well, we're doing a Grease montage and three new songs that Mark and I wrote." Kian said as he took a sip of his white wine. "And we're covering two Boyzone songs." Nicky added.

"Oh, really. Which one's?" Steven asked as he lit Liam's Cigarette.

"A Different Beat and Fathers and Sons." Bryan answered.

"So when does Boyzone go back into the studio to start the new album?" Mark asked Both Ronan and Steven.

"Yeah, Ro. When are we going back in the studio?" Steven asked with a wondering look.

"At the end of this month. But we will be doing most of the recording in Japan."

"What. For how long?" Liam asked with annoyance.

"Well, for about a week. You can come along if you can promise not to distract Stevie here."

"I think I can manage that."

"Oh no you can't. You distract me every minute of every day. And I wouldn't have it any other way." Steven said as he leaned in and gave Liam a small kiss on the lips.

"That is so sweet. You guys are just too cute!" Nicky said as he lifted his wine class to his lips looking from Shane to Bryan. Shane got up from the table abruptly and excused himself with a quick look of scorn directed at Nicky.

"What's his problem? Did our kiss upset him?" Liam asked as he looked from Steven to Ronan.

"No I don't think that's it." Ronan said as he pointedly asked the rest of the guys what was wrong with one questioning look.

"I'll go talk to him." Kian said as he started to get up from the table.

"No, I'll go. We had kind of a confrontation before we left the hotel." Nicky explained with a look of apology as he headed off towards the bar to find Shane.

He found Shane in a dark little table in the corner of the bar with a shot class and a bottle of Sky Vodka. "Shane can we talk?"

"No, go away and leave me alone!"

"Are you sure? I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, its good to know that your there for more than just a quickie in the shower!" Shane said sarcastically.

"What, is that what this is about?"

"Just leave me alone Nicky. We'll talk later." Shane said with a little more sincerity in his voice.

"Ok. But please come back to the table soon." Nicky said as he walked away concern almost making him turn back and Make Shane talk to him. But instead he headed to the bar and ordered a screwdriver before he headed back to the table.

"He should be back shortly." Nicky said as he took his seat.

"What was that all about?" Mark asked looking at Nicky with concern and confusion etched on his face.

"Oh, nothing. Just a confrontation Bryan, Shane and I had in the bedroom before we left." Bryan gave Nicky an understanding look. They would have to talk later.

By the time Shane returned to the table the waiter had already set the food down and refilled their drinks. As the waiter passed by Shane flagged him down and asked for a scotch and soda. Ronan had noticed upon Shane's return to the table that he was quite intoxicated as it was and gave the waiter a look without words that said no. Shane saw the waiter shying away and caught the look on Ronan's face. "Damnit Ro, your not my father. I think I have the right to have a drink or two with my meal."

"That's not the question at hand," Ronan said. "The matter at hand is that you've had quite enough alcohol tonight as it is and you still have a show to do." He finished authoritatively.

"What?" Shane said as he abruptly stood knocking his chair to the floor. "Fuck this, I'll be in the limo." He walked off with no regard to the overturned chair.

Later as everyone was climbing into the limo Nicky sat next to Shane. Shane all of the sudden got up and moved to the other side of the limo. As he did he muttered 'fucking faggot' audibly enough for everyone to hear.

"What did you just call him?" Steven asked as he stiffened in his seat.

"If I'm not mistaken he just called me a faggot." Nicky said as tears of hurt and anger began to fill his eyes.

"Why?" Liam asked with a shocked look. Before Nicky had a chance to respond Shane spoke up again.

"Because that's what he is...he blew Bryan in the shower before we left the hotel room!" Shane screamed.

Everyone looked from Bryan's embarrassed face to Nicky and Shane's expressions of anger. "So why should Nicky and Bryan's sex life bother you so much?" Steven asked.

"Because...it just does!"

"Ok...let me get this straight," Nicky said. "Oh, wait. That's right I'm not straight. But since your dick was in my mouth too, what the fuck does that make you???" Nicky screamed in Shane's direction. The cab of the limo became silent.

Out of nowhere Shane rushed toward Nicky and started swinging at him. One fist connecting with Nicky's upper jaw and his right caught him in the chest. Before Nicky had a chance to defend himself Shane was pulled off and flung back in his seat by Steven while Liam helped restrain him.

As he helped hold Shane down Liam had a look of amazement on his face. Ronan instructed the driver to pull over to the side of the rode. When the car was stopped he opened the door and barked at Shane to get out. As Ronan followed he looked back at Steven. "Yo man, you got your cell on you. Mine went died at the restaurant."

"Yeah, Why?"

"Give it to me." Ronan instructed as Steven fished it out of his jacket pocket. "I take it Liam's cell number is programmed into the memory?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, I'll call a cab for Shane and myself. Steven, I want you to cover for me tonight at the concert. I'll call you later on Liam's cell." He said as he looked at Nicky and the rest of the guys. "Nicky are you ok?" Nicky shook his head yes. "Good. When you get to the arena put some ice on that cheek, tell make-up to do a really good job covering that up and keep it quite ok."

"Yeah, gotcha covered." Steven said as he looked at Liam.

"Yeah, I'm sure you can...Rockie!"

"Yup. If I can handle him, I can handle this."

"Kian?" Ronan looked over to the young man. "You know Shane's parts. Cover them tonight. I'm taking our punch happy drunk back to the hotel and let him sleep it off." Ronan shut the door and motioned for the drive to go on. He looked over at Shane sitting on the side of the road with his hands covering his face; elbows on his knees rocking himself in an effort to calm down.

***** Well that's the first one. Please tell me what you think. I need to know if I should continue this or not ok? Hopefully I'll hear from you guys soon. *****

Next: Chapter 2


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