Please see original story (www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/camping/canvas-hell/) for warnings and copyright. Highlights: All fiction. All rights reserved. Includes sex between young-adult men. Go away if any of that is against your local rules. Practice safer sex than my characters. Write if you like, but flamers end up in the nasty bits of future stories. Donate to Nifty TODAY at donate.nifty.org/donate.html to keep the cum coming.
When he got to hooting, I realised that I should have really been mad about it, but just didn't have the strength. Every neuron was devoted to wrapping around the idea of that c-word he'd used. Can two guys? Well, duh, of course they can. Right? Right? And two people can be a cou, a cou, a that-word. It doesn't mean they're you know, d-d-d... and with that, a new word popped up, 'dating', and I nearly went catatonic again. Yeah, I loved Jim but...? I mean, how? What if? But HOW? At that moment, at that very fucking instant, Jim's gratingly-cheerful voice popped up behind us. "Hey guys, what did I miss?"
Canvas Hell 27: What is this thing...?
By Bear Pup
T/T; self-discovery - Monday PM
I had never seen Karl move so fast. "Jim! Hey. Talk to you later. I got to...!" dopplered off behind him as he fled. Jim looked at him, utterly perplexed.
He turned to me and said, "What the hell was that all about?" I stood up slowly and brushed myself off, not looking at him.
"Uh, Jim, can we wander a bit and talk?"
"Just... talk?" I glanced up to see waggling eyebrows, blushed furiously and started walking. We came to a boulder in a tiny clearing and I sat on the sun-warmed rock. Jim sat beside me tried to capture my hand in his.
"What the hell is with you guys?"
"Um, well, Karl made me start, uh, thinking."
"Oh, God help me. Now what?"
I finally got the nerve up to look at Jim and nearly lost myself in those eyes again. I shook myself and said, "Jim, I love you. I want to love you and, and I'm over the moon that you, um, say you love me."
"That I SAY I love you? You had damned well better have an explanation for that phrasing, buddy, and quick."
"No, I didn't mean that. It's just that we both say we love each other, okay? But, well, how does this work? What happens back in Hershey? Hell, what happens TODAY? I-I-I-I've never really thought about, hell, going on a... thing, with a girl. How do two guys, you know, do they even, well, and what do we, and, and, and what about being a, you know?"
Jim's eyebrows were up in his hair by that point, but I could tell I'd made him stop and think. I sat there, panting slightly after that marathon of nonsense, waiting. Jim finally pursed his lips.
"So let's start with a little vocab, Patrick. If I'm guessing right, the words you have forgotten are things like 'date' and 'together' and 'couple' and 'going steady'?" I nod miserably. "Well, I'll make this plain to you, Patrick. I don't have a damned clue," I stared at him slack-jawed, "and what's more I don't give a shit."
Jim captured my now-unresisting hand and pulled me close. "I love you Patrick, and however this works out is fine. I just know that it WILL work out. And anyway, how the hell did KARL get into that conversation with you?"
I plant my face in my other palm. "Oh, GOD, Jim. Nate told Karl that he was an idiot for not jumping at the chance when I, well, that day, when I talked about touching him and he decided Nate was right and was all upset he'd 'missed it' and I said he hadn't that the offer still stood and he said wouldn't you be mad and I asked why and he said cuz we were a cu-cu-couple and I just went blank!"
Jim shifted uncomfortably and used his other hand to rearrange a massive boner that had suddenly sprung into being. "Daaaaaamn, Patrick. You, um, you really think he would...?"
"Yeah, Jim, yes I do. But what does that MEAN? I can't, I dunno, cheat on you!"
Jim's sudden whoop of laughter was cut short as he stared at me, "You actually fucking mean that, don't you?"
"Well," I was blushing terribly and it was getting worse and a sulk crept into my voice, "I did until you laughed at me. I don't KNOW what the rules are, Jim! I never even thought the possibility existed and now I'll all, I dunno, worried and scared and shit."
"Patrick, can you, like, breathe or something. Are you seriously worried that you might do something to hurt me? With KARL?" I nod, even more miserable and confused now than before.
"Let's back up first, Patrick. I want to be a couple, both of us, and find out where this goes. I love you, and you SAY you love me. The rest will work itself out."
"B-but what about Karl and, and, um, all that?"
"Okay then," Jim flipped into 'business' mode like slipping on a shirt. "Let's figure it out. What would it mean if I was a guy and you were my girlfriend? If you were a girl, I'd be afraid you might go off and get preggers with another guy. I think we're pretty safe there. I'd be afraid the other guy might be, you know, better and you'd run off with him. Let's give that a maybe. Shut up! I'm talking. Karl might be your dream sex, so we've got to put it on the board. And I might get jealous that another guy is getting my gal and I'm left lonely on a Friday night. You likely to dump me for Karl?"
"NO! God, Jim, NO!"
"So we spin it around. I'm the girl and you're going to play the field. We'll skip the get her pregnant part. You might like her more than me, same as above. You.... you, uh, might find that you like variety and start, well, trying things and leave me b-b-behind?" He sighed deeply.
"Jim! No, I would never--!"
"Patrick, seriously? You're telling me that if you kissed every cute guy in camp that you might not find one who kisses better? Wh-who is smarter and funnier and cooler and o-o-older?"
"Absolutely not!" Okay, probably not. But none of them would be Jim, and that was the crucial factor.
Jim smiled and touched my cheek, "I love it when you lie to me. We'll still put that one in the major worry category. Shut up. That you might just get tired of me after a while and l-l-leave? I said shut up. That's a biggie for me, Patrick, and neither of us has a crystal ball. Things happen."
"Not! That! No, now you shut up. You're forgetting that I never once said I loved kissing you or loved touching you or anything else. I said I loved YOU! You, Jim. Jamie Conner. I don't care about the rest. I want JIM, not a kisser or a lover or a, a, a whatever!"
He smiled at me, lopsided, just like his father had, "Actually, you did say you loved to kiss me..."
"Oh, go to hell! You know damned good and well what I'm saying. So stop this damned list and get to the point!"
"The 'damned list thing' is the point, Patrick. It's how I think things through. What is the good and what is the bad. You didn't let me get to the good. That you might play the field and find out there's no other Jim out there. That we might find out we really are perfect together, which I believe with all my heart."
"But what about other people? What will the, you know, think?"
"Why the hell should they care, and why would they have to know? Anyway, other people don't scare me, Patrick. The one thing that scares me most is large numbers. Because--" he hiccoughed, "-- somewhere out there is someone better and smarter and nicer and better looking and a better kisser. Hush! And if you say you wanted to try dozens of guys and get back to me, I'm never talk to you again. Well, that's after I cut your balls off with a dull spoon. But Karl? No.
"In fact, the thing that would upset me most is that it would be you doing the touching and not me!"
I can't help it, I scowled at the thought of Jim touching someone else. "AH HA! That's it! You're not worried that you'll hurt me or upset me, but that I might follow your example! Okay, let's spin this again, Mr Jealousy! What are you afraid of if I fool around with Karl."
"Y-y-y-y-you wouldn't," my voice shook hard, "w-w-would you?"
"Oh, Patrick. I'm sorry. I--"
"Because you are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen and any guy or girl would kill to get smiled at by you and I'm, I'm, I'm a swizzle stick with big glasses and freckles and a permanent blush! I kn-kn-kn-know I'll lose you one d-day when you figure all that out and I'm okay with that just not NOW, Jim, please? Give me, give me the next couple weeks?"
The look in his eyes stopped me cold. With a blinding flash, I realised that Jim really did think I was... special? He stared up into my own confused and frightened eyes and said, "Patrick, you are my everything. Now, to quote a movie mom liked, 'Kiss me, fool!'"
I did, with a long and heart-wrenching passion that I didn't even realise I was holding inside. Yet again, this kiss was utterly different and just as intense as the others. There was sex and passion and love there, sure. But this kiss... this kiss was about... joining? confirming? committing? becoming? Regardless, it lasted as the others had, each of us lost in the other person. I felt a little bit of my soul swap with a little bit of Jim's as if we were blood brothers of the spirit, not the flesh. AH! That's the word I'd been seeking. This was a kiss of completion.
I heard a loud gasp and pulled back and we both turned. Trey was there with an indescribable look on his face. "Red? Jim? What...? Ohmagod. Uh, I, I um..." He turned and ran pell-mell through the undergrowth.
"Uh, Jim? You know that 'other people' thing? I kinda think we're gonna find out about that a lot sooner than we'd hoped."
We adjusted ourselves and headed back toward camp. I had a suspicion that Trey was looking for us because it was close to dinner and he wanted us all to stay as a group. That was borne out as the triangle clanged right as we got to the camp's clearing. Nate and Karl were at the Mess Hal, though, and frowning.
"Trey just went in, guys." Nate said. "He said he was eating with some guys from his cabin? Any idea why? He said earlier he was gonna got find you for supper."
Jim's voice was not chirpy, but was still confidence personified. "I think we have a good idea. Let's talk after dinner before we go to the Cabin for singing." I paid no attention at all to dinner, other than to slather it with Nate's hot sauce. Something to do with mashed potatoes and beef lumps, maybe? All I could think of was, 'Red? Jim? Ohmagod!'
I saw Trey was sitting with a group from his cabin. He wasn't interacting, but looked seriously pissed off, like he'd been betrayed by someone he trusted. I flushed and thought, 'well, may we've done just that.'
I looked up to see Karl staring at me intently. He squinted his question at me, 'what the hell is going on?'. I flicked my eyes back and forth to Jim then me a few times, then looked back to Karl. His eyebrow (he only had the one) was all scrunched up. I pushed my chin forward, 'get it, dumbass?' and his eyes popped wide. I heard him breathe out an almost-inaudible, "Ohhhhhhhh." I eye-goggled to him a 'yeah, no shit!' and we went back to eating.
We all finished up early and were about halfway to Cabin 4 when Nate came to a complete stop. "Talk, both of you. What happened to Trey?"
I had actually worked this out and, to Jim's astonishment, spoke first, calmly and steadily. "I was kissing Jim. OW! Okay, we were kissing each other." I rubbed my side where a very sharp elbow had just jabbed me. "Trey came up and saw us and, well, kinda freaked. I, uh, don't know what happens now."
Karl's voice declared quite simply, "Now we sing." Nate was clearly flushed with a mixture of embarrassment, worry and a little fear (for us, not of us). Karl herded us to the tent. We saw Trey come in and Karl went over and said, "Hey, Trey."
The boy turned to him with the iciest voice I'd heard come from anyone our age. "I'm Orson. You have the wrong guy." Our (apparently-former) friend turned and stalked across the cabin, leaving Karl looking like he'd just been sucker-punched. In a way, he had.
The Leaders had a surprise for us. They'd learned from the Do Re Mi disaster and went back to a simple spiritual. The tune was ancient and a lot of the Protestant kids knew it already, Down in the River to Pray. They'd made some alterations, since we didn't have 'sisters' or 'mothers'. They split us similarly to the Do Re Mi disaster, but in only three groups: Anything above a tenor was a Brother. Anyone with a low baritone or base was a Father, everyone else was a Bachelor.
Each group had its own verse, and those that had already sung joined in the chorus so it built steadily. It started with the highest voices, "As I went down in the river to pray, Studying about that good old way, And who shall wear the starry crown, Good Lord, show me the way!" which was actually a chorus, followed by their 'solo' verse, "O brothers let's go down, Let's go down, come on down, Come on brothers let's go down, Down in the river to pray." The chorus again came next with 'robe and crown' instead of 'starry crown', phrases which swapped each verse.
My group, the Bachelors, sang "O bachelors let's go down, Let's go down, come on down, Come on bachelors let's go down, Down in the river to pray." The Brothers then joined us in the chorus. We all fell silent for the group containing both Karl and the kid we'd briefly called Trey, now back to Orson, the basses and baritones. "O fathers let's go down, Let's go down, come on down, O fathers let's go down, Down in the river to pray."
All of us re-joined the next chorus and continued for the rest of the song, the last non-choral verse being, "O sinners let's go down, Let's go down, come on down, O sinners let's go down, Down in the river to pray." Highlighting all of us were sinners, one of the few ideas shared by virtually every Christian sect. At the end, the refrain "Good Lord, show me the way!" was sung by all, then the Bachelors and Brothers, and finally by just the Brothers, ending as it started with those high, pure voices.
It was... breath-taking. Even with the fumbles and foibles of cracking and crashing voices, youthful over-enthusiasm and inevitable horseplay, the glorious spirit of the song blasted through. Jim and I shared a look after the second run-through. We were going to OWN the third Sunday Campfire.
Nate joined us as we headed back to Tent Canvas Hell, so we stopped at one of the picnic tables to talk. Karl started. "Orson is really upset. He thinks all of us were making him the butt of a joke. He's hurt and angry."
Nate spoke next, "Yes, he is. Really angry. Several of the guys told me. He won't tell anyone why, though. He just said he 'trusted the wrong people' and he 'hates being made fun of'. I'm sorry guys, I don't know what to tell you."
We stared around the circle glumly. Nate excused himself to return to the Cabin and the three Canvas Hellions made our way to the tent. We settled in and Karl asked the darkness, "So, what happened before, you know, the kiss?"
The silenced stretched a bit and Jim answered, "I found the person I need more in this world. A thousand Orsons won't change that." I found myself crying, yet again.
I finally found my voice, "And I am never letting go. But, uh, Karl, about the other thing? I have in the highest possible authority... the offer still stands." I heard Karl shift. Jim's hand found mine as we drifted to sleep.
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Active storelines, all at www.nifty.org/nifty/gay... Canvas Hell: 27 chapters .../camping/canvas-hell/ Beaux Thibodaux: 18 chapters .../adult-youth/beaux-thibodaux/ The Heathens: 19 chapters .../historical/the-heathens/ Off the Magic Carpet: 13 chapters .../military/off-the-magic-carpet/ Lake Desolation: 12 chapters .../rural/lake-desolation/ Dear John Letter: 3 chapter .../military/dear-john-letter/ Shark Reef: 5 chapters .../adult-youth/shark-reef/ Culberhouse Rules: 3 chapters .../incest/culberhouse-rules/
Special collaboration with Brad Borris: In God's Love (5 installments) .../incest/in-gods-love/