The following story is purely fiction involving fictional individuals of different ages being engaged in sexual acts. Please do not read any further if you believe that this topic may offend you. If you are under the age of 18 or reside in a location where it is not legal to read these stories, then please hit the back button and leave now.
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You will have to be patient with this chapter. The content is pretty heavy and serious as Carter deals with the life changing issue of coming out to his mom. I'm sure you all will understand; it is a process he needs to navigate through in order to make sense of his life and continue on the journey of self-discovery and affirmation of who he is.
Chapter Three
After what happened in March at Javy's house, or more specifically in his bedroom where we got caught by his dad (my uncle) in a very bad situation with both of us naked and us engaged in something we shouldn't have been doing, I knew that there was no way Javy was going to take the blame for being inside me. Of course, after the embarrassment of being caught by my Tio subsided a little and he sort of calmed down, I was told to go down to the living room and sleep on the couch. I couldn't hear the muffled words and arguing that took place in the basement between Javy and my Tio, but based on the sobbing and the pleas to stop hitting him, Javy tried everything in his power to blame me for coming on to him and being the one who told him about the gay porn website. I did not want to see my best friend and cousin get beat up by his dad, but I wasn't going to be the one to take all of the blame. Yeah, right.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep hardly at all. I was worried about what my mom would say, what my Tia and abuelitos would say and what the rest of the family would think about me. And of course, I was worried about Javy's physical well-being also.
Morning finally came, and I think I'd only slept maybe an hour. Shortly after 7:00 am I heard my Tia get up and shuffle into the kitchen. My stomach was so upset that I thought I was going to throw up. But when she saw me on the sofa she just smiled and said good morning and asked me why I was sleeping on the sofa. A bit confused, I told her that I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to bother Javy or get him sick, so I came to the sofa. Obviously, she had no clue about what happened last night, and I wasn't going to volunteer. Tio Javier and Javy were not yet awake. Tia Rosa then spoke.
"Angel, mi amor, I think I'll take you to Abuelita's house so you can rest, and she will know how to take care of you in case you get sick. I really don't want Hectorcito and Luis getting sick and I know the flu is going around. Get your things and I'll take you there before they all wake up."
Suddenly, I felt much better. In fact, the rest of the week at my grandparent's house went pretty well. There were no questions asked by my abuelita, and I was fine until my mom got home late Friday night. She picked me up from my abuelitos' house and we made small talk about her trip until we got home. She was tired and went to bed right away. I was tired too and was just happy to be home. It was good to be in my own bed, and I slept great. Saturday morning, however, my world came crashing down. When I woke up, I heard my mom having a very heated conversation in Spanish with my Tio Javier, who is my mom's brother. She was talking very fast and was very upset, and it was hard to figure out exactly what she was saying. But as soon as she got off the phone, I heard her crying. Since I had pretty good idea what it was about, I slowly got up out of bed, and very cautiously went into the kitchen to see why she was crying.
"Morning mama, are you okay?" She tried to hide her crying from me, but as she turned to face me, I could tell she had been crying for a while.
"No mi amor, I am not okay. I just got off the phone with your Tio Javier. We need to talk about what happened with you and Javy. You had better tell me the truth and not hide anything from me. Your Tio Javier does not want you in his house again. Now what in the world happened in his casa between you and Javy?"
The words tried to come out. My head was spinning. I felt like puking. My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. I took a deep breath and started to tell her what happened, going back to the summer when Javy first showed me the porn on his phone.
At first, she did not take it well.
I broke down and cried and cried along with her.
Then she asked me point blank.
"Angel, are you gay? Tell me the truth mi amor. I need to know." Those three words shook me to my young core and was the most difficult question my mother has ever asked me. I knew she deserved to know the truth but dashing her every dream she had for me growing up and marrying a beautiful girl would soon by gone. Possibly my every existence in life as I know would be gone too. What if she kicked me out of the house, sent me packing with my clothes, pushing me out of her life and out of everything in the world that I knew? Where would I go, what would I do? I was fourteen years old, soon to be fifteen. I wanted to feel her arms around me, comforting me, taking away the hurt and pain like she always would. But we're Mexican. We're not gay. We're supposed to be macho. We drink beer, tequila, play soccer. Watch soccer. Work in the yard, work hard . I was none of that. The idea of beer and tequila and playing soccer and being macho was nothing I was all about. I like the theater, acting, reading, and most of all writing. I didn't fit in. And now to know how it feels to be sexual with another guy, the idea of having sex with a girl totally grosses me out. I know who I am. She deserved the truth; I cannot hide who I am, despite the consequences that may be.
With tears streaming down my face, I did my best to look her in the eyes -- those same deep brown eyes as mine -- and quietly, yet firmly, told her who I was.
"Si, mama, I am gay." Those three words have been the hardest words I've had to say. I barely got them out when the floodgates really opened up. I didn't know if I should gather my things leave the house or run to her and find the comfort I so desperately needed. Instead with my head hung low and with my tear stained face and nose running I asked her if I should leave.
"What? Leave? Oh no mi amor, come to me." She met me halfway and like many times before she embraced me so hard, running her fingers through my hair, giving me the comfort only a mother can give. "I don't ever want you to leave. I would never kick you out because of who you are. I love you so much and it doesn't matter WHO or WHAT you are. You're my hijo (son) and I love you for YOU. God sent you to me; you are my world. Do not EVER think that I'd kick you out for you being YOU." I could not believe what she said next. "I had a feeling you were gay. I see the way you look at other boys. I see you not ever interested in girls. But it's okay. Look, Angel. I have seen so many boys -- and girls -- your age who have come into the ER beat up by their parents for who they are. The hurt and pain they have endured by the hands of those who should provide them with unconditional love is just horrible. You are all God's children. You and all of these kids cannot change who God made you to be. My heart just aches for these kids who either go back to a physical and emotionally abusive family, or they get kicked out of their house to live life on the streets. They fall prey to the scum of the earth who abuse them even more by exploiting their young bodies in prostitution or by making them believe that they can be models. Many of these kids either live a life of drug abuse or poverty and drop out of school to become homeless. It just breaks my hearts to think that all they want is to be accepted for who they are and have the unconditional love of their parents. Angel, do not ever think that what happened between you and Javy would change how I feel about you. I know Javy is to blame for what happened. He opened your eyes into a world that exists that could lead you down a very dark, wrong path in life. Do not think it is your fault. I will deal with my brother and your cousin. Please hijo, be yourself and know that your mama loves just the same as I did before."
In my mother's arms I felt safe. Safe to be who I am. It was a huge relief knowing that I didn't have to hide who I was from her. She later told me that she had been prepared for a few years to the fact that I might be gay. I guess mothers do know more about their kids than the kids know themselves. She did talk to me about gay sex and what I knew and what Javy and I did. It was a little strange telling her everything that we did, but she wanted me to be honest with her. Once again, she just calmly told me to be careful, and that what Javy showed me on his phone is not the way life truly is, and that while sex is awesome, if I truly care for someone I should not think that life is the way it is in those videos. She also warned me to practice safe sex with everyone, especially if I was ever to be like I was with Javy again. It was really embarrassing, but looking back on that conversation, I'm so happy that my mom is the way she is. When our conversation was over, I felt so happy and fortunate to have my mom be my mom.
Later that afternoon I tried to text Javy.
"Hey Javy, how are you?"
No response. I waited several hours and no response. He never went anywhere without his phone, so I wondered if he got it taken away from his dad. In fact, as I later found out from my mom, Javy got grounded for a month, his phone taken away for that month, and he was not to talk to me unless we were at a family dinner or gathering. I felt so bad for him, and I missed my cousin and best friend immensely, but my Tio hurt him physically and emotionally, leaving bruises on his back and arms, as well as some pretty serious welts on his butt from whipping him with his belt. It just was not fair. I did not see Javy except for passing in the halls at school. We didn't have any classes together, and when I did see him and tried to talk to him, he ignored me and acted like I didn't exist. I could see the bruises on his arms still a week after we got back to school. But where he had suffered physical and obvious emotional pain over what his dad did to him, It hurt me so much to know that I had lost my best friend.
Fast forward to the day after Dylan got hit by the car on his bike as he rode past my house. It was a typical day for me, still suffering through the crutches and the cast on my leg. As usual, I was sitting on the porch reading Stephen King's book "Misery". I was so engrossed in the book that I didn't realize what time it was: 2:25 pm, just about time that biker boy, who I now know as Dylan, would be riding by my house. Sure enough just about five minutes later, Dylan rode by as fast as he usually did. Today he was wearing a different pair of the tight lycra biking shorts. This pair was black with a red stripe going down the side of his legs. His biking shirt, also sleeveless and tight also had matching red stripes going down the sides of the shirt. Same helmet, same Oakley shades. Same fingerless gloves. He had ear buds that were attached by a white wire that led to his phone that was attached to his right arm. I could see the beads of sweat on his face and his arms glistened with sweat as well, causing me to remember his scent as he sat in the rocking chair in my living room as I applied the bandages to his arm and inner thigh. The sight of him and thinking about his sweaty body caused my dick to get instantly hard, especially with thinking about how he filled out those tight shorts. I was surprised to see him look at me, and he WAVED! Of course, I waved back and now had a smile from ear to ear! Maybe, just maybe he'd stop to see me on his way back. Okay, probably not. Wishful thinking, I know.
About five minutes later my Tio Javier pulled on to our street driving his work truck. He has a landscaping business and since my leg was broken last month, he has been coming over to mow our lawn. I guess today is the day that he's going to mow. As he pulled in our driveway all the way and then backed out and pulled up alongside the curb in front of our house, I saw that Javy was with him. When he got out of the truck, he took his dirty white tee shirt off, revealing his tanned dark skin and sculptured upper body. While he weighed close to fifty pounds more than me, his waist was still small and thin due to him being about six inches taller. Needless to say, I could not stop admiring his tanned body. I don't know if he felt me staring at him, but he looked down and away from me as he joined my Tio in getting the mowers going.
It was quite obvious that Javy was either still mad at me or was told by my Tio not to talk to me. I just resumed reading my book while they mowed and trimmed the back and side yards. About 20 minutes later they came back to the front lawn. Javy was mowing the front with a push mower, Tio was doing the trimming. Since a breeze had picked up, when Javy stopped to wipe the sweat from his forehead, the very basketball shorts he was wearing today were the ones he wore when we got caught in his bed back in March. The breeze blew back the shorts, and I could very easily see the details of what I lusted for and still missed today. He looked as if he was hard, his dick was clearly pushing up against his black boxer briefs; the waistband of the briefs was visible above the waistband of the basketball shorts. Since it was warm out, his shirtless body was glistening in sweat, just like Dylan's arms were when he rode by a few minutes ago. I felt my dick go from soft to hard in a heartbeat remembering the first time I took Javy in my mouth and the first time he stuck his huge dick inside me.
I lost all concentration for reading and was ready to go in the house as they were finishing the yard. I put my book down, stood up, grabbed the crutches and was ready to hobble to the door when my Tio called out my name.
"Carter!" (remember he pronounces my name Car-tair). I stopped and turned to see him and Javy walk up the sidewalk.
"How are you, hijo (son)?" he asked, in a polite calm manner that seemed to indicate that nothing had happened at all between Javy, him and me.
"I'm doing okay. Just waiting for next Monday when I see the doctor again. He is supposed to replace this cast with new one that I can actually wear shoes or flip flops with. I'm really tired of these crutches." I wanted to be all happy with him that he was talking to me so nice, but I was still pretty pissed off for what Javy did to me.
"That's good. Javy, tell Carter what I told you to say." Reluctantly, Javy spoke quietly to me for the first time since the accident.
"I am sorry for running into you at the game and breaking your leg."
That was it. That was all he said. Standing four feet from me with just his shorts on I couldn't stop staring at his upper body, remembering the times I sucked on his nipples and licked his chest and abs as I made my way down to his treasure trail and dick. He held out his hand to shake my hand, and at first, I really didn't want to accept, but in our culture we all shake hands or hug each other when we first see family or leave to go home. It's just a cultural thing, so I grew up that way. Finally, as he walked up the steps to the porch where I stood, he reached out for me to shake his hand. With my right crutch braced against my armpit, I took his warm calloused hand and shook it just like I'd done a thousand times before. Next was my Tio, and he even gave me a hug.
"Hope your leg gets better, hijo. Javy knows he won't dare to do that again to someone. But we all know it was an accident, don't we?"
"Yeah, an accident," was all I could reply with. As I had lightly embraced by Tio, I caught Javy looking down at my basketball shorts noticing the obvious that my dick was now pressing against the confines of my boxer briefs. I knew he felt same, and for a moment our eyes locked in a wanting stare, but I broke the stare and tried to not look back as my Tio told me something that I was supposed to tell my mom.
"You'll tell her that, right?" was all I truly remembered him saying. I had to ask him to repeat it again. "Tell your mama that the spigot on the back of the house is leaking really bad, and I'll come over tomorrow to fix it. Okay?"
"Sure, Tio, I'll tell her. With that, they both shook my hand and said good-bye on the way to load up their mowers and move on to the next lawn.
I watched both my uncle and cousin head to the truck. Javy put his white t-shirt back on before getting inside the truck. He looked back to the house and just before I turned to go in the house he waved, and I waved back. I felt like the whole thing was just a show, that neither of them was really sorry for what happened to me on the soccer field last month. But as mad as I still could be for what Javy did to me and how my uncle physically beat Javy after he found us together, I did care about Javy and missed what we had as cousins who were also best friends. It still hurt emotionally to not be able to talk or text him, let alone sleep over probably never again.
I needed to get a bottle of water, so I hobbled into the kitchen and grabbed an ice cold bottle from the fridge. Seeing Javy shirtless and seeing Dylan all sexy on his bike got me quite horny. I needed some relief. My mom wouldn't be home for at least two or three more hours, so I would still have the house to myself. I locked the screen door, left the other door open and went to my room. The thought entered my mind about looking up some porn on my phone, but mom still had some site tracker app on her phone so that would more than likely get me busted, and I really did not want to lose my phone privileges. So instead, I laid back on my bed, took off my shirt and pulled my basketball shorts down partway to my knees and saw the bulge in my boxer briefs that seemed to be growing bigger every day. Since the first time that Javy and I played around last summer, it seemed like my dick grew at least another inch. Oh, and guess what! Some wispy blonde hairs were starting to sprout on my otherwise smooth balls and pubic area. As my hand touched my smooth legs, my skin tingled. I slowly touched my sides, then ran my fingers around my smooth upper chest, stopping at each nipple to lightly squeeze and play with them.
My dick was rock hard now and tenting pretty good in my briefs. Thinking about how Javy and I used to suck on each other's dicks until he would roll me over and lick my hole enough that I was ready for him to be in me, using me like I wanted to be used had a small flow of pre-cum forming on the end of my dick. Just like Javy did, I smeared the iridescent fluid around my sensitive head, touching the sweet spot on the underside that felt so good radiating through my body. If only Javy was here to suck me it would feel so good.
The notion then entered my mind that maybe I could suck myself off. I bent forward as far as I could which was not very easy at all since the cast on my leg made my right leg very uncomfortable. I tried leaning forward again, and this time I got almost an inch away from the head of my dick. Seeing the pre-cum ooze out of the end got me even hornier and in fact drool from my mouth accidently slid from my mouth onto my dick, mixing with the pre-cum. The mixture was now super slippery, and I knew it wouldn't be long until I came. I stopped for a minute to cool down, and then thought that if I continued stretching over, I could definitely shoot my cum directly into my mouth, which got me even hornier yet. Now I started stroking my dick even harder, stopping only to play with my smooth balls that were ready to burst. I leaned forward, was getting in position to attempt to shoot my load into my own mouth. I was getting so close and ready to blow my wad any second now, letting my hot cum coat the insides of my mouth just like Javy used to do when I swallowed his cum that first time ...
And then the doorbell rang.