Carter and the Biker Boy

The following story is purely fiction involving fictional individuals of different ages being engaged in sexual acts. Please do not read any further if you believe that this topic may offend you. If you are under the age of 18 or reside in a location where it is not legal to read these stories, then please hit the back button and leave now.

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Carter and the biker boy

Chapter 30

My alarm went off way too soon Monday morning, the first day back at school. In fact, I actually overslept and then it was practically chaos with Mom getting me breakfast and me getting dressed and gathering books, papers and anything else to put in my backpack and finally heading out the door to the car, which had been warming up for ten minutes so Mom could take me to school.

The rest of the day seemed to be in a rush, and I was mostly in a daze the whole first part of the day. Finally at lunch I felt like I had woken up a little, as my stomach had already started growling about an hour earlier.

Lunch was just like the first half of the year. Big T, Parker, and some other kid named Jacob who was in T's math class also joined us. I was so happy to see Parker that I wanted to hug and kiss him right in the middle of the lunchroom, but we both knew that would never happen. Besides, Parker seemed to be a little off to me, and he really didn't say much to me as we sat next to each other across from T and Jacob. He had been looking at his phone while T was telling us about his Christmas spent with his Aunt and some of her cousins from Des Moines, Iowa. Finally when I had a chance I quickly sent Parker a text.

< Are you okay?

< Yeah, just tired.

< U still coming over tonight?

< IDK.

< ☹

I sent him the sad face and he really didn't react but kept eating his ham and cheese sandwich and potato chips. Now I felt uneasy wondering what was going on. I hadn't heard from him last night before I went to bed, and now he seemed really bothered by something.

Lunch was now over and as we walked to the bathroom like normal, we washed our hands and gazed at each other in the mirror, I scanned the stalls to make sure no one was in the bathroom but us.

"Babe, are you sure you're okay?" I asked him with skepticism in my voice, unsure of what his response would be.

"Yeah, like I said, I'm just tired and have some stuff on my mind right now" He almost looked like he was going to break into tears.

"Can you share it with me?" I pried a little further, hoping to make sure he wasn't mad at me.

"Um, maybe tonight if we can see each other, okay?" I could tell he was hurting about something and suddenly his lack of being himself made me wonder if it was something I'd done. So as he was ready to walk out of the bathroom, I pulled him to me and hugged him tight, making a move to give him a kiss. He moved back away from me. I felt a pang of fear go through me, as this wasn't my boyfriend. He would never pull away from an embrace or a kiss from me. "I better get to class. See you in Olsen's class." Was all that he said.

I felt like crying.

The rest of the afternoon went slowly until it was time to go to Mr. Olsen's class. It was nice to see him again and as soon as I walked in he asked me how my break was, and how I enjoyed Mexico. It was weird because I didn't remember telling him that I was going to Mexico over the break, but maybe I did, and I just didn't remember. I briefly told him that we had a great time. He just smiled and told me that he was happy to hear that.

Seconds later Parker walked into the room and was still the same as he was at lunch. I wanted to text him during class but knew better. Usually he would talk to me before class, or at least look over and smile, but today, nothing.

Class went by fairly quick, and before I knew it we were on our way to gym class. Still he did not say much to me. T and Jacob were asking me about Mexico, and I somewhat told them about how it went, leaving out a lot of details about Javy and of course Nico and Cristian. I suddenly felt like I was walking on thin ice and at a moment's notice I'd be underwater fighting for my life.

The day was finally over. Gym class went quickly and before I knew it I was walking out the door into in the frigid January afternoon. The sky looked like another snow storm was on the way -- dismal gray, with a faint spot where the sun was seemingly racing towards the far southern horizon. My breath hung in the air as I walked alone towards Mom's car. It was then I realized just how much I missed Mexico.

"How was your first day back at school, mi amor?" Mom asked as I got in the car as fast as I could to preserve what heat was inside.

"It was okay. No, it sucked." I blurted out without really thinking about what I'd said.

"So what happened? Why such a bad day?" she asked as we pulled out onto Alpine Road, following the procession of student's cars heading south.

"I don't know. It was just hard to get back into things, I guess." I stammered, now realizing that she wasn't going to just let me off the hook that easily without giving her a valid explanation. So I put it out there, and of course she pulled it out of me. "Parker didn't seem to be in a good mood. I thought he'd be happy to see me, but he wasn't." I stopped short of saying more, but it was too late.

"Why was he not happy? He wouldn't tell you?" She pressed me further. "Did he not have a good time in Florida? Did you guys talk about your vacations at all?"

"No, we didn't. It's like he didn't want to know, almost." I was lost. He'd never acted this way with me before, not since we'd gone to Texas, and I'd been with Nathan.

Then a terrible notion hit me like a cold snowball plastered against the side of my face.

I had posted a picture of Nico and me as well as another picture of Cristian and me on my Instagram account. The selfie of me and Nico was innocent enough, but the selfie of Cristian and me was taken just as Cristian was making it look like he was going to kiss my right ear. Oh crap.

I must have turned as white as snow because right away as I looked at the selfie with me and Cristian I had neglected to read the comment by none other than Parker that read "Who's this?" followed by an angry emoji. The time stamp was 10:50 pm, last night. Of course Mom noticed the look on my face right away.

"Mi amor, are you okay? You look like you've seen the Cucuy!" I was busted. I knew there was no way I could get away from it now.

"Oh Mama, I've done something that I think Parker saw." I regretted saying those words as soon as they left my mouth.

"Mi amor, what did you do?"

I was busted now. As we pulled into the driveway and went into the house, my knees were weak, and I felt like throwing up. I suddenly felt small, like a weak little kid that was going to get punished for stealing candy or something. If only that were the case.

"Carter Angel Michaels, what did you do?" I had to confess now. Mom was too smart to let me get away, and I knew I was in trouble. I knew I had to be truthful. I owed it to her as we always had that level of honesty, and I couldn't lie to her.

Through tears in my eyes, I told her about the picture of me and Cristian that he posted on my Insta account when he grabbed my phone from me that night. Of course she then asked what I had done with Cristian.

"Did you have sex with Cristian? Tell me the truth Angel. Was Nico involved?" She then rambled off some words in Spanish I'd not heard before and I knew she was upset.

"No mama, it wasn't Nico's fault." I spoke slowly, admitting defeat, that I had to tell her the truth about what happened between me and Cristian, as difficult and total humiliating as it might be. She always expected me to tell her the truth the first time, no matter what instead of lying, which would result in an excruciating punishment. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still...

"Entonces, que?" (What then?) then she sharply inquired. I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.

"Yes, mama, I did, you know, with Cristian."

"Were you at least safe with him?"

"Like you mean, with a...?"

"Yes, Angel. With a condom."

I hung my head.

"No."

She sighed, walked over, put her hands on my shoulders. I began to tremble, fearing she was going to hit me.

"Mi amor, you have to be safe when you're with someone you don't know. I know he's what, only your age or a little older? But Angel, you don't know him. He could tell you that he loves you, but he did it to just be with you. What if he has a disease? You don't know him! You're going to get tested. And until you get your results, You cannot be with Parker. Furthermore, is this the type of young man you want to be? Being with every boy or man that comes your way? I did not raise you to become this way!"

I began to cry. She was right, and I guess I just didn't think about my actions and the consequences that could come from them. All I thought with was, well, you know. Through my tears I asked her if she thought Parker figured it out, or if he might have known something.

"You're going to have to tell him and own up to what you've done. As for your test, I cannot take you with me to the hospital, but I will take you to the walk in clinic right now. You had better hope that he was clean."

I was scared now. When we got to the walk-in clinic, thankfully we got in right away. I had to pee in a cup, take a cheek swab, and give a sample of my blood. The nurse who did the sample was a Mexican nurse so Mom had a good conversation in Spanish outside of the room I was in, so I couldn't hear what they said. The nurse then told me I'd get my results in about a day. She then proceeded to tell me that I needed to be careful and that I was too young to be putting myself at risk for STD's. I agreed with her and told her that I'd be careful. She then gave me a pamphlet that talked about the different type of STD's and how they can be transmitted.

Finally we left the clinic. By now it was only about an hour away from the time that Mom had to leave for work, so we got some food from the cheesy fries burger place and took it home to eat in the living room. We ate in silence, and I didn't look at my phone at all despite knowing that I had several text messages. Mom got up from the table, got ready to go to work and on her way out she finally spoke to me.

"Angel, let this be a good lesson to you. I know you have a lot to learn and sometimes don't think in a mature manner but putting yourself at risk by being with people you don't know is very risky. I love you too much to see you get sick because you've had sex with a super cute boy who made you feel really good. You and Parker, if he chooses to stay with you, are going to have to commit to being with each other and learn to stay with only each other. Yes, having sex is very fun, and I know that boys want it all the time, but if you have to have sex and can't be with your partner, then choose to... do it alone. I know you...masturbate, and that's okay. At least I know you're not off having sex with someone that is sick." I turned red in embarrassment when Mom said the word masturbate' in fact although she spoke in a matter of fact' tone of voice and speech, I was still embarrassed the entire time. "Good night mi amor, I love you, and don't worry too much about your tests. You're going to have to figure out how to talk to Parker. I would advise you not to talk to him or have him over until you get your results. For your sake I hope he doesn't break up with you. I really like him." She kissed me on the cheek and then left the house, got in her car and was off to work.

I checked my messages after Mom left for work. There was one from Big T, one from Cristian, and four from Parker. T wanted to know something about a homework assignment; Cristian just wanted to say hi; Parker wanted to know if he could come over. I had to text him back, but I didn't know what to say. So I texted Big T with the information about the homework assignment, and then texted Cristian, but didn't tell him about the tests for STD mom make me take. He sent me back a picture of himself, smiling. Damn he looked cute, and I really did miss being there with him. But then I thought about what Mom had said, and I just let it go. Finally, I responded to Parker.

< Hey babe, how are you? Sorry I was busy with Mom before she went to work.

< It's okay.

< Are you okay?

< Can I come over tonight?

He wouldn't answer my question if he was okay or not. So I answered his question with a short answer.

< Not tonight.

< Why? We need to... talk.

< I know, but just not tonight. Lots of homework.

< K.

< Good night. Love you.

Then after I sent my text, I waited for his response. Five minutes turned into ten. I was getting nervous. Finally after a half hour, he responded.

< GN LYT

I went to bed worried about the results of my tests. I worried about what to tell Parker. Many thoughts about what transpired with Cristian circled around in my mind while I tried to sleep. I practically saw every hour on the hour on my phone. I just could not sleep.

The next morning my alarm went off as I felt as if I'd just fallen asleep. I was extremely tired and when I should have been ready for school, the sound of the kitchen door opening made me sit up in bed and realize that I had fallen back asleep, and that Mom had just gotten home.

"Angel, mi amor, are you ready to go? The roads are slippery so we should leave..." She walked into my room to see me just getting dressed, my blond hair still a mess from having a bad case of bed head. "Que paso, mi amor? Did you oversleep?"

"Si mama, no dormí bien anoche. I couldn't sleep worrying about the test and all. Can I stay home today, por favor?" I've never begged to stay home from school, but for some reason I was very tired and not from just having troubles sleeping last night.

"Okay mi amor, I'm going to let you stay home just for today. But you'd better go back to bed and get some sleep. You're probably tired from the trip too. I will report you as being ill today. Go back to bed."

"Gracias, mama. Te amo." I told her.

"I love you too, amor. Get some sleep."

I fell back asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. What felt like only minutes of dream-free actually was closer to five hours of sleep. When I woke up, an uncertainty surrounded me as I had no clue where I was. All I knew is that I had to pee, and I felt my little friend plastered against my groin.

It was just past one in the afternoon. Mom was asleep of course, and I felt tired still. So after peeing, I crawled back in bed and once again fell back to sleep. This time though, I was having a dream about being back in Guanajuato. Cristian was kneeling in front of me and was, well, you know. It felt so damn good, and I was really enjoying what he was doing to me. Then I heard Mom's voice telling me that Parker was here to see me. Just as I was about to flood Cristian's mouth, I woke up in time to stop the inevitable from happening in my briefs. I was still quite groggy, and Mom was standing in the doorway to my room, but not to tell me that Parker was here.

"Amor, your test results came back. Get up and as soon as you're awake we'll talk about them."

I felt a pang of fear jolt through my body as her words `we'll talk about them' registered in my brain. After emptying my bladder with immense difficulty due to my raging hard on, I walked into the kitchen where Mom was sitting at the plastic covered round table where the empty napkin holder sat in the center waiting to be refilled.

"Are you awake now?" Mom asked, with a serious look on her face and a tone of voice that made me begin to shake.

"Si mama, I'm awake."

"How are you feeling? Better? Did you sleep well?"

"Si mama, I'm better and feel rested."

"Okay, I'm sure you're ready for your test results, verdad?" Mom asked, making sure I was ready. I was almost shaking now I was so nervous. My future health and well-being not to mention the relationship with Parker was now on the line. Slowly I shook my head and let her know I was ready.

"Well, all I have to say is that you are one lucky boy. Your tests for HIV and all STD's came back negative. You're clean."

I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and the tears started flowing again.

"I just want to remind you of what can happen from having a one or a two night thing like you did with a boy like Cristian. Yes, you got lucky. Yes, he is clean and more than likely he told you the truth about not being with many other boys. But you need to promise me that you will be more careful next time. If you need me to buy you condoms, I will. You also need to promise me and your boyfriend that you will stay committed to just him. Trust in a relationship is huge, Angel. If you cannot trust your boyfriend or husband, what you have will be gone. That's why I left your father. I could not trust him."

"I promise you Mama that I'll be more careful and will be committed to my boyfriend and my boyfriend only. I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

Mom and I hugged and shared a few tears before sitting down to eat dinner. After we ate a tasty dinner of beef taquitos, red rice, and beans, she got ready for work and was soon out the door and on her way to work.

I knew that I had to talk with Parker and had to have the talk with him sooner than later. My hand was shaking when I pulled my phone out my pocket to see if he'd texted me. Once again I had three texts, two from him and one from T. T asked if I was okay, and Parker asked the same. The last text asked if he could come over. So I texted him back.

< I'm okay. Was very tired probably from the trip. Yeah, you can come over.

< K. I'll be there in a half an hour.

< K

I then texted T and told him I was fine, but really tired from the trip. He also asked if he could stop by, and I told him that tomorrow would be better. He then replied that would be cool.

The anxiety level was increasing by the moment, wondering how my conversation with Parker would be. My nerves were getting the best of me, and there was no way I could sit still.

Finally I heard the knock on the front door, and sure enough it was Parker. I could see his beautiful smile through frosty screen door and as he walked into the living room, we embraced before he could take his tan colored heavy winter coat off.

"Babe, I missed you so much while we were away. It is so good to be in your arms again." Parker whispered in my ear. I agree with him, and this time he kissed me, and we both kissed each other as deep as we could possibly go. The feeling of his tongue in my mouth made me get an instant hard on.

Sensing this, he pulled me closer to his warm, muscular, lean body and I felt his erection now pressing against mine. I wanted him so badly, and the feelings were mutual, but if I didn't let him know what happened in Mexico, I would feel guilty. After kissing for several minutes, we finally broke our embrace and sat down on the sofa in the living room. Parker spoke first.

"So how was your vacation in Mexico? Did you meet any cool guys or cute boys?" He must have sensed something in my eyes or the expression of guilt on my face. But before I could respond, he began to tell me about his trip to Disney World.

"We were having a great time in Disney, but one night my dad left the hotel room, leaving just mom and me in the room. He didn't come back to the room until about two in the morning. Mom was very upset, and the next morning they got in a big argument, and I thought for sure the neighbors would have reported us to the hotel manager and we would have gotten kicked out. But we didn't. What made it so frustrating though, was that my dad left the room as they were in the middle of the argument, saying something to the effect that he couldn't stand her and that if she didn't like it, she could just leave. And guess what? About an hour later she told me she was going to her cousin's house for a few days and wouldn't take me with her."

"Oh no!" I replied, so then asked him to continue with what had happened.

"So yeah, she packed her clothes back in her suitcase, and about thirty minutes later her phone buzzed and she got up and left." He looked down and that stupid worn spot in the carpeting, trying not to cry.

"Babe, I'm so sorry to hear that. Did they patch things up before coming home?" I inquired, thinking that perhaps all was well now, and was very surprised at his answer.

"No, Dad and I came home alone. He tried to get her to come home but she didn't answer her phone. Sad but true. So for the last days of the trip, I was alone. I really missed you. I really wished I could have gone to Mexico with you. Now I'm not so sure what is going to happen between them. Apparently Mom has more vacation and is going to stay with her cousin for a while."

The news about Parker's parents saddened me. My main worry was that they would sell the house and move back to Texas. I was too afraid to ask him that question. Instead I asked him what he did for those last few days.

"So did you and Dad hang out together then? I mean did you guys like do stuff together?"

He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Not really. Dad gave me some money and told me to `go have fun' while he was going out and was going to try and talk to Mom. Since we stayed at one of the hotels inside the park, it was easy for me to go back into places like the Magic Kingdom and Epcot, as well as the Star Wars Place. At first it wasn't fun at all. That first day that Mom was gone."

"I bet it was terrible. So you and Dad get together at all?" I couldn't believe what had happened there.

"Not until the last day. But I wasn't alone all of the time." Parker took a big breath, and I could tell he was nervous about something.

"Oh that's cool, did you meet some cool guys or girls to hang out with?" He looked at the carpet before responding.

"Yeah, I met a guy who was also there with his family. Tyler reminded me a lot of you, except that he was from Georgia and a southern accent, worse than mine from Texas."

"Yeah? Oh that's cool. So what did you guys do?" I was still thinking innocently, not thinking anything at all about what they might have done.

"Well, see here's the thing. I was watching some older guys, probably seniors in high school shooting hoops on one of the courts at the hotel. Tyler walked up, asked me if I was going to play, and I told him that I probably wouldn't, but that I was just watching the guys play. So he sat down, and we started talking. Turns out that he wrestles too and so we talked about wrestling. We're the exact same weight, one hundred and fourteen pounds." I told him to go on, after he stopped.

"So that first night we just talked by the basketball court, you know talking about Disney, where we have lived, stuff like that. At midnight I figured that I'd better get back to my room. So we agreed to text each other the next morning, and of course he did. His family sounded weirder than mine. He told me that he's the middle child and that his family came to Disney for some cheerleading competition thing for his four sisters. He came with his mom and grandma and aunt. Since he's the only boy, they just let him do whatever, knowing that he'd be bored going to the cheerleading competition." Parker took a sip from his water bottle and continued.

"That day we had a blast. We went all over the parks as we each had a ticket that we could go in and out of any of the parks. Later that evening we grabbed a pizza and took it back to my room. Of course neither Mom nor Dad was there. So we ate the pizza, and then started watching anime on the television. All was going well. I knew I had made a new friend. But then..."

Now I was curious as hell to wonder what happened. I had feeling, but didn't jump to conclusions, rather encouraged him to tell me more.

"About an hour into the anime show, Tyler asks me if I want to wrestle him in the room. There was actually a small, carpeted area big enough for us to wrestle a little without getting hurt. He kept asking me and almost insisted that we do it. So finally I said okay, but he said the problem was that neither he nor I had shorts on and of course we knew that wrestling in jeans might be too uncomfortable. I told him that was true, so then he says, `why don't we strip down to our undies and wrestle that way?' Well, I was okay with that and before I knew it we were on the floor wrestling around in our briefs. He was wearing a tight pair of blue CK briefs; I was wearing my black CK briefs. We started wrestling and laughing at first, as he was actually pretty good. We're built similarly -- he's got a six pack though and very strong legs."

"Damn, what happened next?" I asked, totally into the idea of Parker and his new friend Tyler wrestling around mostly naked.

"Well, he um, then says to me as we stopped for a water break, `how about we play a little game. Whoever loses has to do what the winner says. How do you feel about that?' he asks. I told him that would be cool because I didn't plan on losing. I had several chances to pin him the first time we wrestled. But then it got a little weird."

"Why did it get weird?" I pressed on. "Don't tell me that he's like us..."

"Well, before we started wrestling again, I happened to glance down at his briefs, and he caught me as I caught a glimpse of something that definitely growing. what are you looking at?' and I replied that I didn't mean to, it just happened out of you know, curiosity. So then he said yeah, I've been checking you out too.' and I was like oh, okay. So then we start wrestling again. I was so caught up in his response that I couldn't concentrate, and he beat me."

"Uh oh, so what did he ask you to do, run out of the room with just your briefs on?"

"No, um, it was not what I expected at all." Parker looked down at the floor again, and I knew almost exactly what it involved.

"Go on, so what did he tell you to do?" I now whispered with a half-smile on my face.

Parker cleared his throat, and with apprehension in his voice, he told me what Tyler asked him to do. "He made me give him a hand job -- you know, jack him off. I'm sorry, I know you said you could trust me and I, I guess I let you down."

I thought for a moment, and the idea of my boyfriend jerking off another cute boy had me aroused more than angry at him. So I said the only thing that made sense to say.

"So did he have a big dick?" A look of relief came over Parker's face.

"Um, it was thicker than mine, but not any bigger in length. And he came like a minute after I touched him. It felt weird, but quite a turn on as well. He shot a huge load on his chest, which of course he asked me to lick up and I told him no. I gave him a couple of tissues, so he cleaned the cum up and then got dressed and left. I did tell him I had someone at home and didn't want to go any further with him. That was the last I heard from him, and although we exchanged numbers, I haven't heard from him since I came home. So tell me about Mexico. Meet any cute guys and give them hand jobs?" He laughed, now knowing that I was okay with what happened with Tyler.

I began to tell him about all of the places we visited, what we did and then I told him that Javy was there as well. Immediately, Parker asked if we fooled around. I had to be honest with him.

"Yes, one night only and I actually kneed him in the nuts when he tried to make a move on me, but then I felt bad for him and we just, well, blew each other. But then the next night, or the night after that we both went to a party, and he met a girl there, Sofia. They left the party and didn't return for a couple of hours. Turns out he did her like six or seven times. He told me just before we fell asleep that he now knows he's not gay, that he likes screwing girls."

"Wow, that's crazy, but I'm not surprised. So did he see Sofia again?"

"Yes the next night. More screwing, and I guess she even sucked him while he ate her, you know..." I couldn't say the word pussy because the thought of doing that just almost made me puke. Then Parker turned the focus back to me.

"So what about you? Any cute boys at the party? Come on, it's okay to `fess up, babe."

I proceeded to tell him about Nico, and his friend who had the rooftop party. I showed him pictures of the party, of Nico, Roberto, their friends and then the picture of me and Cristian came up, the one with us hugging, the next pic of him kissing me.

"And this is Cristian, a guy Nico introduced me to." Parker was silent. He studied the pictures, and I detected a look of sadness on his face, and a look of anger starting. An uncomfortable few minutes passed as he scrolled back to the pictures of Nico, then to the pictures inside my Tia's house, further back to pictures of me and Javy. Finally he spoke.

"So the post on your Insta page was true then. Okay. So you met someone too. What happened between you and him? Did you guys have sex?"

"Babe, I, I, um, uh, well, yes we did." My heart began racing, waiting for his response.

"What did you do with him?" he spoke in a low monotone voice that was lathered in both fear and a building angry tone, sort of like an angry cat-like growl almost.

"We, um, you know, um, sucked each other the first night. I saw him the next night and we did the same, but that time he also, um, well, went in me." My eyes started watering, and I felt a tear roll down my right cheek.

"Oh, so you let him fuck you, right? Did he use a condom?" I shook my head that he did not. "So no protection with a stranger who you'd never met before or knew anything about, right?"

I nodded me head slowly again. My face was wet with tears for fears of what Parker was going to do next. Before he could speak though, I began to tell him about what happened after I got home. "Look babe, I didn't intend on anything happening with Cristian. It just -- it just did. He knew how to charm me and knew how to get me. He made the first moves, and yes, I could have said no. I missed you so much and I should have resisted, but I was weak and gave in to his charm. I regretted it very much."

"So much that you went back the second night?" He had me trapped now.

"I'm so sorry babe. I know you said you could trust me just like I knew I could trust you. If it makes you feel any better, Mom already knows, and was very upset with me, more so than you. In fact, she made me get tested for HIV and STD's, which all came back negative. I know I screwed up, and all I can do is ask for your forgiveness, please? I love you so much and what I did was wrong."

Parker just kept staring at the carpet. With a shaky hand, I reach for his shoulder to touch him. He made no motion to move away from me, but then shocked me with his response.

"Please don't touch me right now. I need to digest this. I trusted you. How many times have we talked about this since San Antonio? I mean, yes, we both know what happened at the Halloween party, and other times, but we both agreed that we would not be with others when we were not together, correct?"

I nodded my head.

"Yes, I know what I did in Florida with Tyler was not right either. But I didn't give him a blow job or let him fuck me. Look Carter, if you can't control yourself when we're apart, then I'm not so sure that we can continue being together. If you're going to be my boyfriend, then we have to commit to being just us, and remain true to each other. We're young, and I get that. But I know that in a straight relationship it's not acceptable to fool around, so why would it be okay in a gay relationship? I mean, here I'm worried like crazy that my parents are going to separate because of what my dumb dad did in Texas, and God knows where else he's cheated on my mom. And now I have worry about my boyfriend who I love a lot cheating on me whenever he goes on vacation? I can't. I just can't."

He had me. I was ready to use the incident with Tyler against him but knew that he was right. I raised my head, tried to wipe away the tears that had formed. Honestly, I felt like throwing up. I looked at him to see tears streaming down his face as well. I wanted to reach out and hug him, kiss his tears away and tell him it would be okay. But right now he was hurting and was definitely hurting bad. I foolishly destroyed the trust he had in me.

"Babe, I'm so sorry" I began. "I know you have all the rights in the world to be angry and sad at me for what I did. I, I, love you so much and can't imagine my life without you in it. Can you please, please forgive me? I don't want what we have to come to an end. I want to be there for you and for you only. I am such an idiot for what I've done. Please? Can I have one more chance?" I was ready to get down on my knees and beg for his forgiveness, but as a few moments passed, he was locked into a deep stare at the floor. I just wanted him to say it was okay and that he'd forgive me. We would make up; I could hold him tightly and kiss away his tears.

But instead he whispered in the same voice, "I have to go." He quickly put his coat, hat, and gloves on and before I could say good bye to him at the front door, he walked out and disappeared in to the dark and cold January night.

I wanted to run out the door, run to him, talk him into coming back into the warmth of the house. We would work it out and this would all be forgotten, or at least put to rest and we would be the happy Carter and Parker that we've always been.

But not this time. As I watched his silhouette fade into black as it escaped the orange hue of the street light, I locked the door and went to my room, laid down on the bed and cried myself to sleep.

I must have been asleep for several hours when the sound of a loud car at the intersection woke me up. It was one of those deep sleeps where you wake up and aren't quite sure where you're at. I called out for my mom, but of course she wasn't home. My mouth was dry, so I got up, went to the bathroom, then got a glass of water from the kitchen. The sadness I felt from Parker leaving my house returned, and as I crawled back into bed, tears returned once again. Finally the reality of my actions over the past year since my first time with Javy, Dylan, and then Parker hit me like a ton of bricks. Almost sixteen years old and I'd become a person who allowed myself to be used by several guys, starting with my cousin, and ending with basically a one night stand in Mexico with Cristian.

I'd been blinded by young puppy love with Dylan, thinking that he'd been my ideal guy who'd paid a lot of attention to me, only for him to use me not only for himself but with other guys as well, including my own cousin and my boyfriend. I was used by Parker's old boyfriend Luis and the dude from the hotel, Nathan.

The lone bright spot in all of this was Parker, who loved me like I'd not been loved before. We loved spending time together. He loved me unconditionally. He supported me and gave me confidence in myself I'd never had before. And now due to my stupidity, I was on the verge of losing him. I felt like throwing up.

I got up out of bed and got an antacid tablet to calm my stomach down. In the mirror I saw the reflection of a boy who was troubled and headed down the wrong road in life. My image stared back at me, begging me to change who I had become. My voice of reason questioned me -- wondering why something that was so good, you know, being with guys who were so hot -- could be so bad for me. Reaching deep down inside, the answer finally came.

I was not raised to become a slut, a whore, or a sex fiend. I didn't want to become like my father, hanging out at the park looking for sex with old men or guys like me. I wanted the love of a boyfriend who'd be there for me when I needed him. A boyfriend who was so passionate that I wouldn't want anyone else.

Parker.

My only hope was that he would take me back. A hope that it wasn't too late. He needed to know that no matter how many Dylan's, Cristian's, or Wyatt's came my way, I would be devoted to one boy and one boy only: Parker.

I crawled back into bed, said a quick prayer that God would help me and that it wasn't too late to make things right with Parker and that he'd take me back. I promised God that I'd change my ways. Moments later I drifted off to sleep in hopes of a better tomorrow.