Cole's Redemption By James
Disclaimer
This is a story which deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. This story will also deal with at times, scenes of rape, hate crimes, Hate Speech, abuse and other forms of abuse against various minority groups including at times, Racism. If you're offended by such material, or if it's illegal to read this type of story, then please find something else to read. Also, if the scenes mentioned above concerning violence against minorities triggers you, then I urge you to not read any further if you feel that it would endanger your mental health.
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Cole's Redemption
Chapter Five
Loving you like I never have before I'm needing you just to open up the door Hanson Save Me
Cole
Lying in bed that Saturday night, I shifted on to my right side which faced the area of my room in which the door leading in to it was situated. It was now approaching 1:00 A.M., and I was still awake. I felt a bit tired when I got to bed, but though I had gotten to bed a little after 11:00 P.M., I hadn't fallen asleep yet. I knew why it was though. I couldn't get Kevin out of my mind.
During that late Saturday Afternoon, I went in my room after completing the garage cleaning that Daniel and I had been working on, and I did the finishing touches on it, then after I got cleaned up I sat down at my desk in my room and as I was readying myself to call Kevin as I told him I would, my phone began sounding. I looked at the display, and saw that it was Kevin! I smiled widely, and answered the call.
The call was a video chat, so I could see his face, and it looked even more amazing in the day light! I saw him smiling about as big as I was, and I could see his deep-brown eyes that were full of happiness and excitement!
"Hi Kevin!" I said as I watched him looking back at me.
"Hi Cole!" he said just as happily!
"How has your day been going today?" I asked as I put on a random playlist of music to keep us company, but as the playlist started up, I heard music already in the background of where Kevin was, so I asked if he wanted to keep his on, and we could listen to that. He agreed, and we continued talking.
"My day has been going well," he answered. "I went out with my dad for a bit today, then we got lunch and brought it back to the house. After that, I worked for a bit in the yard just watering some flowers we have in the garden, and then I got a shower and have just been here in my room relaxing for the last hour."
"Cool," I answered. "It was interesting, I was getting ready to call you, and just as I picked up my phone to make the call, your call came through."
"That's really amazing!" he said smiling widely now.
"Yeah, it really is!" I agreed.
As we talked, I heard a song start up as Kevin signed something, and I lost all focus on what he was saying. I was transfixed by the opening lyrics to the song, which were: "Loving you like I never have before I'm needing you just to open up the door" and I pictured Kevin in my mind at that moment. I was remembering when we held each other for that long moment the night before, just before we went our separate ways for the night. Looking back on it when I had time to think that Saturday all throughout certain moments, I would remember one feeling that was going steady throughout my emotions once Kevin started walking away to go back home, and the feeling lasted during the course of me beginning my own walk back to my own house. It was a deep sense of feeling incomplete, as well as feeling like I was no longer whole.
I knew on some level why it was, and now the understanding made things seem deeply clear to me now. I felt whole, complete and at peace like I had never known before when Kevin held me. Once I felt his arms wrap around me, and I melted in to him I felt like nothing bad would ever happen, as well as feeling safe truly for the first time in my life. Finally, I felt whole, and like nothing was missing! Everything in that moment felt right with the world, and I never wanted it to end!
When it did end, and especially when Kevin and I went to our respective houses I felt that void once again, and I wanted him back in ways I could hardly put in to words! A couple of times when I was nearing my house, I felt close to tears, but wasn't sure exactly why, but I knew now as the song played on. I wanted Kevin by my side, and I wanted him there more than words could say!
As I thought about it more, especially that Saturday off and on, I was feeling the kindness and deep caring feelings that Kevin showed, as well as the deep compassion within him that I could sense, as well as that he showed to me, and I figured to others in his life as well. I was feeling as time went by that I wanted to have that compassion for others, and I felt an even deeper motivation to continue on the road to redemption and change I was on, but I felt an even greater sense of wanting to really be a better person, and being around Kevin made that desire to change even more profound! I really felt in some way I couldn't quite explain that something within Kevin was inspiring me to be more driven to change for the better, and to work harder than ever before to never be who I had been only a short time before!
My thoughts were interrupted suddenly, when I heard a lout wrapping on a hard surface. I looked up, and Kevin was watching me through his phone's screen. I realized then, that the loud sound was him pounding two times hard on the surface of his desk, and he was staring intently at me.
"Oh my god, I'm really sorry Kevin!" I said truly surprised and a little worried when I realized just how deeply I had zoned out. The song that triggered my deep and intense thoughts was ending, and I sat there trying to regain my focus. "Would you mind repeating what you were saying? I really do feel bad for asking, but I hadn't even realized that I had spaced out like that."
"It's no problem," Kevin said. "I waited for a moment, and then I figured that I had to get your attention some way, as you looked like you really were a million miles away. Do you mind if I ask what you were thinking about?"
"I'm not really even sure how to explain it," I said, and I wasn't bullshitting him. I really did need time to sort out what was in my head at that moment! "I'll definitely explain it to you at a later time though. I promise you that!"
"Okay, that sounds good," Kevin replied.
"So what had you been talking about when I spaced out?" I asked.
"I was saying that I had a really nice time with you last night," he answered. "It was really nice hanging out with you at the concert, as well as watching it together like we did! I also enjoyed our conversations in Intermission, as well as at the restaurant and on the way home."
"I really had a lot of fun as well!" I answered. "It was really a nice time hanging out with you as well, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I truly enjoyed every moment of us hanging out together!"
"I'm glad also," he responded.
"Oh, and I just noticed the neckless," I said as I saw the golden cross he had around his neck. "Is that new?"
"No," he answered. "I had it since I was 13 when my parents got it for me for Christmas, and I've carried it around my neck ever sense."
"That's really nice!" I said. "I don't think you had it on last night though."
"I didn't," he said. "The clasp had weakened, so we took it today to get it fixed which the guy did. So I'm able to wear it around my neck again."
"I'm glad," I responded.
"Me too," he replied.
"Anyway, I know you said you like reading, as well as listening to music when we were talking about hobbies last night," I said. "What else do you like doing in your spare time?"
"I really enjoy working out," he answered. "You've probably noticed how big I am. That's what got me partly the size I am, is the working out I've been doing over the past few years. I also enjoy hiking, camping and swimming out in one of the lakes that's close to my house in the back in the woods behind my house."
"That sounds really nice!" I said, and it really did!
"Yeah, thanks," he replied. "the lake is especially nice in the Summer months for what should be obvious reasons."
We laughed, and I spoke.
"I know what you mean, the Summer can get really hot, and it's nice to have a place to go to cool off."
"It really is," he replied. "If you want, we could go hiking sometime, possibly camping as well. What would you think of us hiking, and possibly ending it with camping for the evening sometime one of these weekends?"
"I would really love that!" I answered feeling my stomach flutter, as well as my heart beat a little faster.
I could also feel an intense euphoria sweep through me at the thought of us being together at some point like that, and I hoped it could be soon!
"I'm glad we're both in agreement on that plan," Kevin said.
"So am I," I replied.
We talked a little more about favorite music groups and other things, then I had to go and help Daniel with dinner. I was shocked at how much time seemed to have gone by. It was really amazing! We said goodbye, and a sadness settled over me, and though not over-powering, it was still noticeable. We ended the call, and I worked to get my feelings under control, then went to help Daniel with dinner preparations.
I shifted once more on to my stomach, and still I thought about Kevin. I had been remembering our time together talking on video chat that day, the time we spent together in person the night before, but I also imagined us together talking more, as well as wondering what other things we could do. I was thinking about us camping, hiking and just spending time sitting next to one another, and that constant feeling of euphoria wouldn't leave me, and even when I tried thinking of other things, my thoughts drifted as if of a mind of their own back to Kevin.
0000
Kevin
During the rest of the evening after Cole and I talked, I had visited with my parents, had dinner and then read for a bit. I also talked to Chance for a bit, and he was talking about the possibility of he and I getting together sometime possibly Monday evening of this up-coming week after school to get something to eat and just hang out for a bit. I agreed, and he was glad about that. I also thought about Cole all while doing everything I was doing.
I knew that no matter what the reality of the situation, I was in love with Cole Hoffman! I knew this as sure as I knew what I looked like in terms of my physical appearance, and though I would have crushes on boys before in the past, most of them were quick fleeting ones, as well as being mainly sexual, but this was different. Sure I thought Cole was really attractive, but more than that, I felt like everything was right with the world when he and I were together! I wasn't sure if he was gay like me, but I was hoping that there could still be a chance for us at some point.
It was going on 2:00 A.M. in the morning, and though I had been asleep since 12:00 A.M., I was still awake thinking of Cole. I thought of us together the night before in person, as well as when we talked on video chat earlier that Saturday afternoon. When we finished the call, I felt sad knowing that we had to be away from each other, and when we went our separate ways the night before to go back to our respective houses, I felt that sadness as well, and it felt deeper at that point though. When I held Cole in my arms, I felt like we were one, as well as feeling like everything in my world was the way it should be! I hadn't ever felt like that with anyone before, and I figured that I was coming at that moment to realize what falling in love for the first time was like. I knew it now as I lay there waiting for sleep to come, and when I turned on my stomach sleep finally came as I had thoughts of Cole flowing through my head.
0000
Cole
Rain fell hard on the roof of our house when I awoke that Sunday morning. I looked at the bedside clock, and it was almost 7:30 A.M., and I felt totally wiped out. I figured that it had been almost 3:00 A.M. in the morning once I had finally fallen asleep. I had turned on to my stomach, and for a long time I continued thinking about Kevin, then I felt myself drifting off, and strangely enough I didn't have any dreams, at least none that I remembered. I definitely didn't have any of the nightmares I had discussed thus far fortunately, and that's something for which I was truly grateful!
We didn't have anything going on that day, so no one had to be up for quite a while, and that was something else for which I was deeply happy! I got up to use the restroom that was in my room, and after finishing urinating, I went back to bed and was asleep within almost a minute.
0000
Kevin
I got up that morning at 8:30 A.M. which was the usual time I got up to get ready to go to church every Sunday. I was still a bit tired from getting to sleep as late as I had, but I could still manage. I showered quickly, then dressed and after we had a quick breakfast we were out the door.
The church we attended was an LGBT-friendly church, and Trisha along with her wife Kate were the pastors who ran the church. They were married, and had been for the last 10 years, and they had started the church about 17 years ago, and I really enjoyed attending services there! I loved how they welcomed everyone, and I especially loved how they used the church as a refuge for kids as well as adults who were LGBT. They had a few rooms that you could spend the night if you had no where to go, and while it was a night or a few nights, they would work hard to find a more permanent place for the person to go, especially if it was an LGBT kid who had been kicked out of their home for the parents being non-accepting of them. I was glad that Trisha and Kate had this resource for our community, or for others who needed a place to come to for a while.
The service was really nice like it always was, and that morning's service was really nice as well! Trisha and Kate's message usually centered around love, and that's how it was for today as well. They talked about us remembering to reach out to those who were less fortunate, as well as remembering to treat those around us with kindness, care and compassion as well as with love. Hearing that helped to strengthen the code by which I lived my life and dealt with others, and after we left the church I felt at peace like usual once leaving to go back home.
Once back home, we prepared for Sunday Dinner. We were having a Roast with the usual potatoes, meat and other stuff, and my mom and dad always did a really good job making that meal, and it was my absolute favorite! I was thinking though as I helped with preparations that it would be nice if Cole was with us. Actually though, I had been thinking about him throughout that morning and throughout the day as well. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I found that I missed him deeply. I couldn't wait to talk to him later that day once things settled down, and I just hoped that he would be available for a chat.
0000
Cole
Daniel and I finished up in the basement of the house, a fact for which I was truly grateful! I hated basements, and our basement in the house in which we lived was scary as hell as far as I was concerned, and though I would go down there to put things away for Daniel, or retrieve things for him, I was glad once I was out of that place and back up in the regular part of the house. I was just glad that it was only on few occasions I had to go down there!
We had been packing a few things away down there we didn't need, mainly just a few tools and then we cleaned up the floor, then after making sure there were no water leaks, we went back upstairs, and back in to the living room.
"I'm glad that didn't take long," I said.
"Yeah, I know you don't like it down there," Daniel said as we sat down on the couch while the TV played softly,. "Thanks for helping me though, and I hoped it helped having me there with you."
"You're welcome, and it did help with you being there with me," I answered. "Thanks for that."
"No problem," he replied.
We watched TV with Justin sitting between us and he eventually leaned against me, and I had an arm around him as he snuggled more firmly against me. The rain continued falling hard, and though it stopped for a bit earlier that morning once I did get up, it would start up again, stop then fall heavily for a long while. At this point though, it had been falling for almost the last hour, and it was almost a half-an-hour later and it was still going which was partly why Daniel and I were down in the basement checking things and cleaning up a bit.
After we finished watching TV, Justin excused himself to go to his room, and after Daniel said he had calls to make, I went in my room to see if Kevin was up for a chat. When I booted up my laptop, I checked my e-mail, then after nothing of importance was there, I got my phone, texted Kevin then waited. He texted back almost immediately, and after agreeing to talk for a while, I initiated the video call!
"It's good to hear from you!" Kevin said as we began talking. "I was just thinking about you when you texted just a moment ago!"
The smile on his face was lovely to see, and it touched me deeply in ways I couldn't put in to words, and I would understand it more as I thought about it later that night though.
"I'm glad to be talking with you as well!" I said with what felt like just as big of a smile on my face as well! "I had been thinking about you throughout the day also!"
"I was thinking about you most of today too!" Kevin replied. "How was your day today?"
"It was good," I answered. "What did you do today?"
"We had church this morning, and then we got back here to the house afterwards, and we had our Sunday Dinner. What did you do today? I know you had stuff you needed to do."
"We got the basement cleaned up," I answered. "We didn't have too much to do down there, but we had a couple of things to do, and we made especially sure to check down there today with the rain coming down hard like it has been. That was the biggest thing we had to do, and I was really glad once we got back up here to the regular part of the house."
"Do you not like basements?" Kevin asked.
"I fucking hate basements," I said shuddering slightly at the thought of having been down there a little while ago. "I've been afraid of basements for years now."
"When did that start?" he asked looking concerned.
"It started back when I was six, but it's a long story," I answered. "Do you mind if I tell you about it later?"
"No, I don't mind," Kevin replied.
"Cool," I responded. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said.
We began talking of other things, and he mentioned that he and his parents talked during dinner, and they asked about whether or not I'd be able to come to their house this up-coming Saturday to spend the day.
"I'd really love that!" I said feeling an even deeper sense of euphoria and happiness flood my psyche! "I'll check with Daniel real quick, and let you know."
"I'll wait!" he said.
After checking with Daniel, he said that I'd be able to go, and then Kevin confirmed with his parents. After that, it was set and I was truly happy about that!
We talked a little more, then after he let me know that he had to go since it was getting close to dinner time, we ended the call and then I sat there totally excited for our visit that up-coming Saturday!
Author's Notes
You'll all get to read about their visit in the next chapter, as well as watch them get a little closer. Obviously you can see that they've formed a deep connection with one another, and this will only get deeper as time goes by. I hope all of you like how things go when they get together in person again, and how they get a bit more closer.
I hope everyone is staying safe, having a good evening and I'll see all of you in Chapter Six.