Thanks once again for reading the story. It's always great to here your comments, so please feel free to drop me a line. I'll be back with the next installment in 3 weeks.
When the guys got back to school after the weekend with Mike's parents, there was a mountain of work waiting for them. Not only had they committed themselves to going to grad school together, with applications being due in about 6 months, but they needed to think about summer jobs, too. And they each had to continue their solid academic records and finish the semester strong if they were even going to get close to the schools that they aspired to.
They had spent the entire ride back from Mike's parents place just talking about what went on the past weekend, celebrating a huge milestone in their relationship. But as real life doesn't allow one to wallow in success too long, they each acknowledged the urgency of moving on with the other aspects of their lives and got back to work.
"How are we going to handle this summer, Pup? I mean what are we going to do, job-wise? Brad asked, as they sat down to dinner the day after returning. Back in the full swing of school, they hadn't seen each other all day.
"There's a couple of places up in the city, not far from my folks place, that I'd like to apply to, but that assumes that you'll be up there, too." Mike replied as he split some spaghetti between Brads plate and his.
"You think your parent's would be OK with me being up there for the summer. You think it's going to be too much, maybe too soon. I don't want them to overdose on me, you know." He reached over and took some of the pasta off of Mikes plate and replaced it with some steamed broccoli.
Mike just let out a sigh, and then give Brad a slight smile.
After he swallowed his first forkful of the dinner a little bit of the carbonara sauce spilling on his chin as he answered Brad. "Honestly, babe, I think they'd love to have you. Plus, I think that they're getting the idea that we come as a package. So I think that we could just plan that way. As long as we avoid sex in the living room, or on the dining room table, I think we're OK. " He chuckled and then wiped the sauce off of his face.
"Do you want to get a law firm job again? What do you want to try to do?
Brad went back to Mikes earlier comment for a moment. "No sex in the living room? Hmmm...I'll have to think about this." He bit his lip self-consciously, smiling.
"Anyway," he said, continuing. "I've read some stuff on these law schools, and I think that you have to look a little off-beat to them, not just a conventional person. I don't know exactly what I want to do right now, but however interesting the job might sound to the admissions committee, I need to get paid. I can't volunteer for the resume building stuff, at least during the workday, so I need to look around."
As he was speaking, Mike had gotten up to get some milk from the fridge, then poured a glass for each of them.
Brad accepted the milk as he continued. "I'd like to do something with sports, or something related to the law. If there was some combo that would be great, though in our area I don't know what that would be. I'll check Craigslist or something like that tonight and get started on it. It's only a month or so off. I'll start asking around, too, maybe talk to my adviser." He put down his glass and put some more of the vegetable on Mike's plate.
"Are the kinds of firms that you're looking at downtown.?" he asked Mike.
"Yea, I think all of them are. Oh,..." he said as he just recalled one other avenue. "One of my profs knows some people up there and has offered to make some contacts, which is really nice of him. There are a couple big corporate architecture firms that would look good on my resume, but there's one more design-oriented firm that I'd really like to work for. In fact, I heard one of the partners is gay. I'd like to check them out."
"You heard one of the partners is gay?"
"Yea, Todd told me. Boy, that guy exploded from of the closet when he came out, and seems to know everybody," he said, remarking admirably on Todd's accomplishment. "I think this guy went to Princeton or Yale or one of those places, too, so wouldn't be a bad guy to meet if I want to try for one of those grad schools.
Brad wanted to encourage him along on this. Mike's options were probably more limited than his in terms of location, so he would do all he could to support it. "If you think you'll be downtown, then I'll try to find something around there too. We could have lunch together. Maybe sneak off to a public restroom and have sex."
Mike gave him a dreamy, hazy look. "You're so romantic. And classy, too! You know, there's a nice steak restaurant over on East 9th. I've always wanted to give a blowjob in their bathroom. Especially during lunch when it's crowded."
Brad just laughed, but then got the conversation back on track. "well, I'll start checking after we get done studying tonight. We need to get this school stuff going, too. Damn, where going to be busy the next few weeks."
At the same time as they were carrying on the normal studying for classes and finals, they were also looking for summer jobs and getting ready to prepare for grad school applications. Brad was especially concerned, as his test would take a lot of preparation, and 6 months was not a lot of time for what had to be done. And they still wanted to keep up their time in the gym, especially Brad with his intramural involvement.
Mike was able to line up a couple of interviews with firms he was interested in, plus what he called his back-up firms. Things were generally busy in their rust-belt area, at least compared to the recent past, so there were definitely some opportunities out there. But there was a lot of competition also, so he knew if would be tough to get what he really wanted.
He had worked construction jobs his previous summers, and had done a 6 week internship in a small office as part of his school curriculum, but this would be his first bona-fide office job for a real paycheck. He was nervous and excited at the same time, thinking this is the real start of his career, while at the same time anxious about doing well, both for himself and for Brad and their plans.
Since the downtown area of the city was more than an hour away from campus, he tried to line the interviews up all on a Monday, when he didn't have classes and could save himself a lot of back-and-forth trips. He could even drop by his parents place if he had to make a pit stop, and maybe play with Tony to relieve some stress, but in any case it would be a brutal day. The interviews were scheduled for 8:30, 11:30, and 3:00. He'd have to be "ON" all the time.
Brad had made him a full breakfast to prepare for the interview marathon, and even wrapped a sandwich for him. He was just about to leave for the first interview when Brad snuck up from behind and wrapped him in a big bear hug.
"You OK, pup?"
Mike just stood there for a moment, silent, feeling the squeeze. "Yea, I think so. I'm nervous, but I've got to do this and get through it." He rolled his head back, rubbing it against Brad. "Thanks for breakfast, babe."
"Glad, too. Call me if you need to talk, OK?
"OK" Brad released his grip and they kissed, and Mike was off.
Brad himself was swamped with things to do all day, also, but couldn't stop thinking of Mike, and worrying about him. Outside of this continuous, but low-grade, anxiety about Mike's epilepsy, he know that this trip meant a lot to him. Mike had told Brad not to worry about him, but of course there was no way he could avoid that.
As it got late in the afternoon, he got up from studying every few minutes and looked out the window, hoping to see Mike pulling in. Finally hearing his car at about 6:30, he opened the door to his worn out partner. As soon as he walked in the door he collapsed into Brad's arms, half playfully and half seriously,
"Did they beat you up Pup? You OK? Brad said as he embraced him, rocking him slowly as Mike quietly kicked off his shoes.
"They're animals, all of them." He sighed but smiled. "Can't I just be a kept boy?"
Brad just laughed, moving his right hand to Mikes' head and stroking it. "Just get cleaned up and you can tell me all about it. Dinner's almost ready." With that, he gently pushed Mike away and launched him stumbling toward the bathroom, then went into the kitchen to retrieve dinner.
As Mike walked down the hall to change his clothes, Brad yelled to him, "The position of kept boy is no longer available," and just heard a laugh in return.
When Mike was done with his shower, he snuck up behind Brad, who was just putting some fancy hamburgers on buns. Minimal sweet condiments, for Mike, but he was allowed as much cheese as he wanted. Putting his hands on Brads waist, he gently stroked up and down his back, drilling his knuckles in for an impromptu vertical massage.
"Your day go OK, babe? Did you get a lot done?" Though the interviews were a milestone for him, Brad had a life, too. He didn't forget that.
"Yea, it went OK, I did get a lot done. Missed you, though." He said as he picked up the serving plate to move it over to the table. "You had the big day, though. Sit down and tell me how it went."
"Well," Mike said, as he finally got into this chair, "It was actually pretty good. I hope an offer or two comes out it. If nothing else, it's good practice, but I really do need a good job."
He continued. "The corporate firms did some nice work, but were pretty stuffy. The guys there even wore ties. The were mostly interested in my technical skills, which is understandable, of course. I'm there to work. But..." Mike took a bite of his burger. "By the way, this is really good. Thanks, babe." He said to Brad as he reached over and gave him a light punch to the arm.
"No problem. Tell me more. I'll bet it get more interesting." He grabbed Mike's fist in his hand and squeezed as he pushed back at him.
"Well, I guess you could say `interesting.' I didn't really think about this one thing until the last firm, that design firm with the gay partner I was telling you about." He said as he put down his burger.
"You know, they were actually the only ones to ask me what I wanted to get out of the summer. The other guys, they were real polite and professional and all that, but it was all about how big they were, what prestigious clients they had, all that kind of stuff, how hard they worked, all that."
"The guy who interviewed me, who I think was a project manager and not a designer, didn't seem focused on the same kind of stuff. When he talked about the firm, it was a lot about the character and culture and stuff like that."
"There first question to me was `why do you want to be an Architect?" I think I had a good answer, well, at least an answer that meant something to me. But just the fact that they asked made me feel pretty good about them."
Mike continued, and his enthusiasm was evident to Brad. "They had some really nice work, too. You know, I just need a job, the more money the better, but I really hope they offer me something. I think I'd really like it there."
"That's great!" Brad said. I'm glad you found a place that you really like. Now, you just need to get in the door. So, what happens next?"
"Well, I left some copies of work and resumes behind at each place. All of them said that they were going to make decisions in the next week or so on summer help, so I guess I should just cross my fingers." He took another bite of his hamburger, and looked up again at Brad. "wow, this really is good. What did you put in it.?
Brad smiled. "Fresh semen. I thought you'd like it."
Mike just about spit out his food with that thought. He was too stunned to come up with a retort quick enough, so just coughed to clear his throat and smirked up at Brad.
Satisfied with his brief victory in the humor wars, Brad brought the conversation back on track again. "We'll both keep our fingers crossed. I hope that the one place comes through for you, but like you said, any would do."
"So what are you thinking about now? Mike asked, turning the spotlight on Brad. "Anything interest you on the job front.?"
They're a couple of things that look kind of fun, but I don't know how they'll look on the resume. One is a groundskeeper job at the community college up there near your folks. I could work on my tan, but it would probably look like I'm goofing off for the summer."
Mike agreed. "It's too bad, because that could be fun, and you actually could learn a lot, working with different types of people. But these schools seem so credential conscious, I'm not sure that they would appreciate what you could get out of a job like that."
"I know, it's too bad. But there are some other things out there that could be fun and interesting and look good to law school, too. One is a working as an assistant clerk in an emergency room. Could be pretty distinctive on a resume but stressful, too. I guess blood doesn't scare me, but seeing people all stressed out could be tough."
Mike immediately agreed that it would be a good credential for him, but he was worried for the same reason. He had been in the emergency room a lot growing up, especially when he had his really bad seizures as a child, and was now stranger to what could happen there. And Brad could be especially vulnerable. Empathy for others was one of his strengths, and was one of Brad's qualities that he thought most highly off. But that could be a weakness in a place like this, where you sometimes have to turn off your emotions in order to the very best you can at the job. But turning off emotions was not something that Brad could do easily, if at all.
"How did you find out about it?" Mike asked.
"My advisor's sister is a nurse there, and they need administrative help for the summer, what with vacations and all. and he thought it might look good on the law school application. It's not real serious stuff, anyway, just supporting the people who actually do the real work." Brad said, trying to convince himself that he could avoid the worst crisis situations.
"And besides," Brad continued, finishing off his spaghetti and then looking up. "It's at Charity Hospital, downtown, and not far from where you're likely to be, at least if you get one of those jobs you interviewed for today. If the hours worked out, we could even take the bus in together."
Mike got up and started picking up the plates. There was still a lot to talk about, but they also both had to get back to studying for an hour or so before Brad would make him go to bed, since he had to get up for an early class. "Gosh that sounds great, but I don't want to dream about it yet. I feel like I might jinx it if I hope too much. I'll just cross my fingers and hope for the best, for both of us."
"Yea, I know what you mean, me too. Let's just see where it all goes." Brad helped mike put away the dishes as they both got ready to finish off their studying for the night.
It was pretty obvious to Brad that Mike had been real stressed all day, so he thought he'd just play it by ear regarding sex. He'd see where Mike wanted to go. And where he wanted to go was to just snuggle up against Brad.
They both seemed to drift to sleep quickly. But Brad woke up early in the morning, while it was still dark. He looked over at the luminous dial on the clock and it was almost 2:30.
He thought that he just woke up on his own, which he sometimes did, until he felt Mike rustling on the bed. Mike normally moved around a lot when he slept, so Brad generally tried to give him a wide berth. Even though they often fell asleep touching in some way, Mike would invariably move away at night as he continuously rolled and changed position.
There was something different about Mike's moving around right now, though, Brad thought. Being dark, he couldn't see Mike well, but he felt the commotion, the very jerky and almost spastic movements that were coming from the other side of the bed.
Suddenly, Brad could almost feel the air from Mikes hands flailing in the air. Something was happening to Mike. It didn't seem like a seizure, though. It was more like a nightmare, as he could hear Mike mumbling things. It sounded like Czech, but he wasn't sure. But what he was getting sure of was that he better try to wake Mike up quickly.
Just when he was about to reach over and wake him, he heard Mike cry out as the bed shook violently.
"I'm not a freak! I'm not a freak!"
Brad was just about to grab him, to try to shake him awake, when one of Mike's flailing arms smacked him right on the mouth. It stung, but Brad didn't flinch. Mike was in trouble and he had to do what he could to get him out of this nightmare as he firmly but gently grasped Mike by the shoulders and tried to shake him awake.
Mike had definitely gotten stronger since he started working out, though Brad could still get the better of him when they wrestled. But it took everything he had. Forcing Mikes arms out of the way, he grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
"Mike! Wake up! It's me, Brad! I'm here! I'm here! Wake up!" he continued to shake Mike and yell at him. After just a few moments, Mike's spasms stopped and he started to wake up.
"uh, Brad. Uh, oh, my gosh, what's going on?" He was totally confused, being pulled out of unconsciousness and feeling Brad's hands on his shoulders.
"Pup! You OK? You were having a nightmare. Are you all right?"
"Oh God, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Yea, I think I just had a nightmare. I can't remember much of it, but it was rally bad." Mike was still dazed, but was starting to realize what had happened, as his pillows were on the floor, along with half of the blanket.
"Yea, but don't worry about it. You OK? You feel alright?
"um..." Mike paused and felt his head, though Brad could barely see this in the dark. "Yea, I think so. Let me get my bearings here for a second. Could you turn on the light."
Brad reached over and flipped the switch on the nightstand, and suddenly they could see each other.
Mike looked at Brad and gasped.
"Oh God, Brad..." Mike turned white.
"What? What's wrong?" Brad said, confused. Suddenly, he remembered how Mike had hit him in the mouth, as he felt the throbbing and sting in his lip.
Mike looked at him, speechless, with his mouth open. He looked like he was about to cry.
Brad immediately knew what he was thinking. Mike's greatest fear was that he would hurt Brad during a seizure and, sure enough, it happened, though not exactly the way he thought.. Instantly, Brad grabbed Mike and pulled him against him, holding him tightly there, even though Mike tried to pull away.
"I know what your thinking, and don't even go there for a second." Brad whispered softly in his ear, knowing how urgent it was to calm Mike down, but also knowing he had to take it slowly.
He gently stoked his back, tenderly stroking the tense muscles "I'm fine, and I'll be OK. We both knew this kind of thing might happen, but you can't control it Mike. It's not your fault and there's nothing you could do about it."
Mike was starting to sob. "I was so afraid I'd hurt you some day and I did. Oh god, I feel like a monster. Brad I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!....."
"Hey!" Brad yelled at him, which startled Mike. He gently pushed him away, then grabbed his chin and forced Mike to look into his eyes.
"Look at me!" he ordered, as Mike struggled to look back at him.
"Mike Kovar. Don't ever apologize to me about something you can't control. It's no ones fault. It's just what happens, and it won't be the last time. So don't let it upset you." It looked to him like Mike was starting to calm down.
"Now, if you would you tell me about the dream. It got you real upset. I need to know about it"
Mike couldn't usually remember his dreams, even just after waking, but he thought it was something about having a seizure and people not understanding what was happening. He said never had a dream like this before.
" I wonder why you have a dream like this now. It's like an old fear that you kept suppressed, and now it's finally gotten out." Brad said.
Mike was again silent for a moment. Then reached over and put his arms on Brad's shoulders. He was surprised how tired his arms were. He must have jerked around quite a bit during the nightmare.
"I'm not sure, but I have one theory."
"What's that?"
"um..." Mike got a little shy and looked away for a moment. "All this time since that seizure at Jesuit, I've kind of kept a lot of memories of that stuff covered up. It was pretty bad at the time, and I guess it was my way of handling it. Just bury it, push it away, ignore it." He looked away for a moment. "I just couldn't deal with it. It was too much."
"What's different know?" Brad asked, innocently.
"What's different know? Mike just looked at him.
"You're the difference, Brad. You've changed everything. I guess with you in my life I feel, as least subconsciously, strong enough to face this stuff and finally deal with it. Not that It isn't tough, but I feel like I can think about, about what it has meant to me. Maybe now I can finally move on."
Pulling Brad close, he rubbed their cheeks together. "Thank you."
Brad let out a breath of air, returning the affection as they continued to hold each other until Brad pulled away again and got a mischievous look on his face.
"I've been thinking about what I'm going to tell people, how I got this busted lip."
He saw Mike look down, still embarrassed and ashamed, even though Brad's reassurances had taken away the worst of the pain.
"I think I'll tell them that your sausage wasn't hot, and you hate cold sausage, so ya popped me." Brad said, smiling.
"oh...uh." Mike could hardly bring himself to joke about it. Not so much his own embarrassment, but just that it had to do with Mike getting hurt. It was one place he didn't want to go with humor. But it was also clear that this was how Brad wanted him to get over this episode.
"um...I was thinking that it was because you wouldn't put out when I was horny. Try telling people that one," he said, finally managing a smile.
"Ha!" he responded, diving at Mike and pulling his shirt up." They'll never believe that one, not after this."
In a second, their hands were all over each other, as they merged into a single ball of squirming, writhing flesh. It wasn't exactly the therapy that a professional would prescribe, but it worked for the them.