This story contains some explicit scenes of erotic love between males. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
The story is set in the fictional city of Trenton, New Jersey. Yes, there is a real city by that name, but other than being a state capital on the Delaware River, it bears little resemblance to the city in this story. While a few of the places mentioned may exist in reality, all of the characters and events are fictitious.
Chapter Twelve
As it got closer to Thanksgiving I hadn't really given the holiday itself much thought. I was too full of anticipation for seeing Marcus again. When Mom was alive Thanksgiving had been one of my favorite days of the year. She and Aunt Aggie, way back when I was little, used to spend most of the week preparing a feast for the three of us. Even after Aunt Aggie went into the nursing home and Mom married Ralph, it was still a great day. Once it was just Ralph and me, though, it wasn't very special. He tried to make it a traditional kind of holiday meal, but since he didn't cook much, he bought prepared meals from a place like Boston Market the day before and heated them up for us. It wasn't bad, but then nothing was very festive when it came to the two of us.
I probably would have ended up reading in my room and going out to the diner for dinner if it hadn't been for Norman. He and I had switched our weekly dinners to Monday nights, so they wouldn't interfere with my work, if I ever got to work a Saturday, that is.
"Years ago, Harry and I used have a big meal for all of our friends, the ones who didn't have family in the area. As time went by some moved away and some got into relationships with people who had their own traditions. So, rather than cook a big meal for just the two of us, we started volunteering at the homeless shelter downtown. We'd spend a couple of hours serving the food and then have our own meal there. It made us feel good to be helping others less fortunate and also made us doubly thankful for all we had been blessed with. I've been doing it on my own since then, but I'd love it if you came long. If you don't have any other plans, that is."
I had no other plans. It sounded like it could be depressing, but I'd been through some bad times lately and maybe I could use something that would make me feel thankful for what I had. So I walked over to Norman's house Thursday morning and he drove us to the shelter. As we walked into the building there was a middle aged black man in a clerical collar putting on an overcoat just inside the door.
"Norman! Happy Thanksgiving."
"Same to you, Malcolm, but what are you doing here today? Don't you have plenty to keep you busy with that big family of yours?"
"Oh, you know me, I have to have a finger in everything. I just stopped in to help set up and make sure everything was taken care of. Now it's back to my brood if my son ever turns up."
"I'd like you to meet my friend Jerry. He's going to help out today. Jerry, this is Reverend Williams, a member of the board of trustees of the shelter."
"Nice to meet you, sir." We shook hands.
"It's always a pleasure to meet a young man with a social conscience. I practically had to drag my eldest here today and he's spent his whole time here nibbling in the kitchen." He glanced over my shoulder. "Ah, here he comes now."
Norman and I both half-turned and I froze in place when I saw Marcus approaching us. I saw fear in his eyes and he gave his head a tiny but firm shake. As he brushed past us he whispered in my ear, "You don't know me."
The minister introduced us. I was too surprised to say anything, so I guess that passed as not knowing Marcus. He was looking pretty shocked and nervous, too, but he looked puzzled when his father introduced me as Jerry. The two of them left almost immediately and Norman led me back to the kitchen. I started to say something to him about Marcus but caught myself. He knew Marcus' father, so maybe I shouldn't say anything. I knew Marcus wasn't out to his family, so I decided to keep it to myself, at least until I saw Marcus.
As we passed though the kitchen, Norman introduced me to several people whose names I immediately forgot. Then he led me out into the dining room. I had been in shock over running into Marcus unexpectedly, but when I saw all of the long rows of tables half-filled with people and the long line of people waiting to get food I was blown away. Norman and I replaced two women who were serving stuffing and yams and we started dishing out food. There were people of every kind on the line. For some reason whenever I thought of homeless people I thought old bums I'd seen now and then, panhandling on street corners or sleeping in alleys. I was stunned when I saw the families with little kids. The line never seemed to end. Volunteers from the kitchen kept bringing out new trays of food and we kept dishing it out. After a couple of hours, Norman and I were relieved and we filled up a couple of plates and found a place to sit at one of the tables. I asked him about the families that were there.
"There are lots of families out there who are living paycheck to paycheck, just like you, Jerry. They're living right on the edge with no safety net if anything goes wrong. Places like this are so important to catch them and help them get back on their feet when they fall."
"Damn, I thought I had it bad those few nights when I was sleeping in the park. I can't imagine what it must be like when you've got kids you're responsible for. You're right, helping out here has really shown me how lucky I am."
"Speaking of lucky, how did your date go last night? You haven't said anything about it."
"It went great. I don't want to get into details, but you could say I got lucky."
"Didn't you say his name was Marcus, like Malcolm's son?"
"Um, yeah, weird coincidence, huh?" I hadn't told Norman much about Marcus and I was pretty sure I hadn't mentioned that he was black, so he might buy that.
"So are you going to see him again over the weekend?"
I told him about our plans for Friday night and Saturday. "I'm thinking of taking him to Minho for dinner Saturday. The restaurant is kind of romantic and I'd like to show him off to my coworkers."
"You're not getting carried away here, are you, Jerry?"
"No, Norman, I keep reminding myself that we've really only had one date, we barely know each other and he's going to be away at school for a long time. But it would be so nice. I could fall for him so easily."
"I wish you the best of luck and hope it all goes the way you want, but take your time."
"Thanks. At least for the weekend, I've got a boyfriend."
"So you're not seeing him until after work tomorrow night? Do you have any plans for the day?"
"I'm not sure. I've been thinking that I'd really like to go see my Aunt Aggie. I could take the train, but I'm not sure I'd get back in time for work, so maybe I'd be better off doing that some day when I have the evening free."
"She's your great-aunt, right?"
"Yeah, she's in a nursing home in Chester, Pennsylvania. It probably doesn't matter when I go see her 'cause she won't know me anyway. It's just that the holiday made me think of her."
"I don't have any plans for tomorrow. I could drive you. I think it's only about an hour's drive."
"You're kidding. The train took forever. Of course, SEPTA stops like every mile, or so it seems."
"So would you like to go?"
I thought about it. Aunt Aggie had been on my mind a lot lately and I really wanted to see her, even though she wouldn't know me. Maybe it was holiday sentimentality, but I felt like I needed a family connection. I wasn't crazy about the idea of going back to Chester, though. If I took the train I'd have to get a cab to the nursing home and there was a possibility that someone who knew me might see me. If Norman drove me there was less chance of that. Of course, I wasn't sure I wanted Norman to be that close to my past. I finally stopped dithering and made a decision.
"Okay, Norman, we'll go. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I don't mean to be a nag, but have you given any more thought to your education?"
I'd been hoping to stall for a little while longer until maybe it would be too late to do anything this school year. And by the time the next year started, I'd be almost 18.
"I hadn't really thought about it. I've been pretty preoccupied with the job."
"I think you should at least find out what you have to do to get your GED. You don't have to start classes or studying until you're ready, but it won't do any harm to ask."
"Okay, I'll go and find out. Go ahead and make the appointment for me with your friend."
I went over to Norman's house at ten Friday morning for the trip back home. Norman surprised me by heading north on Route 29, the highway along the river, but after a few miles we came to I-95 and he turned south, immediately crossing the river into Pennsylvania. We drove through newly developed countryside for a while until we came to the northern suburbs of Philadelphia, then the city itself. I recognized the skyline as we approached it, though I was used to seeing it from the south. The highway followed the river through the city and soon we were passing the airport. Chester was just a few miles away and I began to tense up. As we got off the highway I was ready to duck down at the first sight of anyone who knew me. The route to the nursing home didn't go near the old apartment or the factory where Ralph worked, but I was a little paranoid.
We walked through the little lobby of the building and turned right down the hall, passing the nurse's station.
"Hey, stranger," a familiar voice called out. I turned and there was a short chunky black woman in a light blue uniform smiling at me.
"Eleanor!' We rushed toward each other and hugged. I grabbed Norman's arm.
"This is my friend, Norman. Norman, this is Eleanor, Aunt Aggie's favorite nurse."
"Nurse's aide, Jeremiah. How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Doesn't matter, you take the best care of Aunt Aggie of anyone. How is she?"
"Mentally, about the same, she doesn't ever have any lucid periods anymore." She sighed. "And her physical condition is beginning to deteriorate as well. She was hospitalized for over a week last month with pneumonia. We tried to get in touch with you but you were gone."
"Yeah, I'm not living in the area anymore. Here, let me give you my cell phone number in case you ever have to get in touch with me."
I gave her the number and she wrote in down in Aunt Aggie's chart.
"You're looking good, boy. You takin' care of yourself?"
"Yeah, Eleanor, I'm doing okay."
"Well, you're not here to visit me. Your aunt is down in the lounge."
I led Norman to a large room at the end of the hall. Aunt Aggie was sitting in a chair by an upright piano, looking out the window. She was well-dressed as always, wearing a long full skirt, a white blouse and a sweater. But she looked so much older and thinner than she had early in the summer, the last time I'd seen her. I went over to her and sat on the piano bench facing her. Norman sat in a chair nearby.
"Hi, Aunt Aggie. How are you feeling today?"
She didn't even look in my direction.
"Aunt Aggie?"
She turned and looked at me sharply. "Are you talking to me, child? I'm thinking, can't you see that?"
"Yes, I see, but I wanted to know how you were feeling."
She looked around. "As well as can be expected, surrounded by sick people like this. Now leave me alone."
She turned back to the window. I just sat there for a few minutes. This was the way it had been the last several times I'd visited. Up until a year ago, there were some visits where she knew me, although she was usually confused even then. I decided to play the piano for her. Maybe that wouldn't disturb her 'thinking.' I got up, lifted the lid of the bench and rummaged through the sheet music until I found what I was looking for -- Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. I turned toward the keyboard, spread out the music and began to play. I lost myself in the music, thinking back to when Mom had taught me this piece, not long before she got sick. She'd made me practice it every day for a month so I'd be able to play it for Aunt Aggie's birthday. I'd stumbled a few times, but I'd made it through. This time, I managed to get through it with no major mistakes.
"That was beautiful, Miah. You've been practicing. Your mother must be so proud."
I swiveled around and Aunt Aggie, the real Aunt Aggie, was smiling at me. I jumped up and rushed over to her, kissing her on the cheek and giving her a hug.
"Oh Aunt Aggie, it's so good to see you."
"It's wonderful to see you too, as always, Miah. My word, you're bigger every time you come visit. She looked me over as I sat down again. "You look more like your father every day."
My father? Neither Mom nor Aunt Aggie had ever talked about him in front of me. "You knew my father?"
"Certainly. Of course, he was just a boy like you the last time I saw him, but I'd grown up with his father and all the men in that family look alike."
I was trying to think of something to ask her about my father when she changed the subject.
"Where's your mother? Didn't she come with you?"
"Um, she couldn't make it today. My, er, our friend Norman brought me." I introduced them.
"I hope your mother is taking care of herself. She didn't look good at all when she was here last week."
"Yes, she resting today," I lied. She'd been out of it more often than not when Mom had died, so her doctor decided it might be better not to tell her. That had made it really hard on me when I came to visit on the days when she was lucid.
"The last time she was here she left me an envelope to give my lawyer, but I'm not really comfortable with that. I might forget, you know." She gave me a sad smile. "Why don't you take it back to her? Tell her to call Ian herself. She can get his number from the office here."
We talked for nearly an hour. It was so good to visit with her and she seemed like her old self, but the conversation was difficult. She thought it was four years ago, that Mom was still alive and that I was in seventh grade. So I had to keep that in mind as we talked. Norman picked up on that and said he was a new neighbor, so she wouldn't wonder who he was. Fortunately, Aunt Aggie seemed content to reminisce about my childhood, and that was fine with me, reliving all those old memories of good times with her and Mom. Of course, just being with Aunt Aggie like that and seeing how happy my visit was making her was enough to make me glad I'd come. After a while she began to stifle yawns and I realized the excitement of my visit was tiring her. I hated to leave because I didn't know if she would ever have another day like this, but she was obviously losing energy fast.
"I'd better let you get some rest now, Aunt Aggie."
"Yes, I've been getting so tired so easily lately. I think maybe I'll take a little nap after you leave."
Norman and I got up and I hugged her and kissed her goodbye.
"Remember to ask Eleanor for that envelope for your mother, dear. It's in my top drawer."
"I will, Aunt Aggie. To be honest I'd almost forgotten."
"I'm supposed to be the forgetful one in this family, young man." She smiled at me. "You're such a good boy, Miah. Never forget how much your mother and I love you."
I felt like I was going to fall apart on the spot. I quickly kissed her cheek again, murmured goodbye and rushed toward the hall. Before I got to the door, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I ducked around the corner, leaned against the wall and broke down sobbing. Norman and Eleanor came at me from different directions and each put a hand on a shoulder at the same time. I swallowed a couple of times and pulled myself together.
"I'm sorry, guys. It was so good to have Aunt Aggie back and know who I was, but it's so hard to talk to her as if everything is okay and Mom is still alive."
"There's nothing to apologize for, Jerry. I'd have trouble handling something like that at my age. I don't know how you got through it." Norman gave me a brief hug.
Eleanor was shocked that Aunt Aggie had come around and been rational. I explained about the music I'd played. That must have been what brought her out.
"I can't remember the last time she was in her right mind. I guess there's still some fight left in the old gal."
"Say, do you know anything about an envelope in her top drawer? She said my mother gave it to her and she wants me to take it. I thought maybe she was hallucinating."
"No, I know exactly what she's talking about. It's been there for years. I asked her about it once and she got snippy and told me to mind my own business. I figured she probably had no idea what it was and was just being defensive. I'll get it for you."
Norman and I waited near the nurse's station while she went down the hall. I was feeling nearly as drained as Aunt Aggie had looked. Eleanor came back with a fat envelope and handed it to me.
"Aunt Aggie said my mother wanted her to give this to her lawyer. Do you have any idea who that is?"
"There was an old guy who used to come visit her regularly and I think he was her lawyer, but I haven't seen him here in ages. I do know that a law firm in Philadelphia takes care of her affairs. Wait a minute and I'll check with the business office."
When she returned this time she had a business card in her hand. "There were a couple of these in her file so you can have this one."
I looked at the card and saw the name Ian O'Hanlon, of the law firm O'Hanlon and Boyle. I put it in my pocket and thanked her, then Norman and I said our goodbyes. As we started on the trip back to Trenton, I held the envelope in my hand as if I were weighing it, staring at it, trying to get up the courage to look inside.
"So aren't you going to open it?"
"I'm dying to know what's in it, but it's already been a pretty emotional day. I'm not sure I'm up for any surprises."
As I said that I realized that not knowing what was inside was worse than any surprise could be, so I opened it. There was one sheet of paper with my mother's handwriting that was wrapped around some legal looking documents. I read through the letter, hearing my mother's voice as I read her words.
Dear Mr. O'Hanlon,
I know you are the attorney for my aunt, Agatha Farrell, and unhappily, I find myself in need of a good lawyer. I have enclosed the only will I have, written many years ago, leaving what little I have to my son, Jeremiah, and naming my aunt as his guardian if anything happened to me. I have married since this was drawn up and have heard that that invalidates this will. Aunt Agatha is now in a nursing home, so I suppose I need to name a new guardian as well. I am dying so I need to have this taken care of soon.
I have very few possessions, so that is not the important part. My beautiful Miah is what is important. I know he and my husband do not get along. I act as though they do, hoping that will become the case, but while my husband Ralph loves me and takes good care of me, he doesn't like children. I have no one else to leave Miah with, though, so they will be stuck with each other. I know that you take care of Aunt Agatha's affairs now. In effect, you are her guardian although she lives in the nursing home. Since there is no place else for him to go, I was wondering if there might be a way for Miah to live with Ralph, but for you to be legally responsible, something like what you're doing for Agatha. If some of the pressure and responsibility is taken off Ralph, it would be easier for him, and that would make it easier for Miah.
Please think about this, maybe do some legal research if necessary. I will call you soon to make an appointment to see what you suggest.
Sincerely, Jessica Walton
I looked at the date on the letter. It was a week before Mom went into the hospital for the last time. I had been surprised by how fast she went downhill at the end, but looking back I thought that maybe that was because I was a kid in denial about the whole situation. But from this letter it was clear that Mom thought she had more time than she did. I felt like I was going to start crying again when Norman interrupted.
"Is it important, Jerry? Is everything okay?"
I explained that is was basically about making a new will and arranging for my custody.
"I guess it's not important now. Mom didn't leave anything except personal possessions and I'm beyond the whole issue of custody now. Besides, the lawyer never got this so nothing was ever done. It just upsets me to realize that I was causing her so much worry in her last days."
"Worry is what mother's do, Jerry. Don't feel guilty, it probably took her mind off her medical problems, thinking about you. What else is in the envelope?"
I opened the rest of the papers. There were a few pages of legal-looking documents that must have been her will. The last paper made me want to shout when I unfolded it. It was my birth certificate! I tried not to show Norman how excited I was because he didn't know the problems I was having with identification. But then I saw my father's name for the first time. Robert Johnson, Jr. So generic it might as well have been John Doe, but it was a real name. It gave his birthplace as Augusta, Georgia, the same as Mom's. I told Norman.
"Do you think that maybe you'd like to try to track him down?"
"I don't know how big a city Augusta is, but there are probably lots of Robert Johnson's there, like everywhere else. And what's the point? He wanted nothing to do with me before I was born. He wouldn't want to know me now."
I was quiet the rest of the way home. It had been an emotional day all around and I was feeling tired. I thanked Norman for taking me when he dropped me off at the rooming house, went upstairs and lay down for a nap. I still had an evening of work and a date ahead of me.
The first thing I did when I got to work was make a reservation for Marcus and me the next night. Of course, Kate, Dora and even Greg then teased me all evening about my boyfriend. I hadn't come out to Greg, in fact I'd barely talked to him, but I guess it wasn't hard for him to figure me out. I was less self-conscious around him this time but his good looks still intimidated me a bit and kept me pretty quiet. Of course, the restaurant was busier than I was used to, so there wasn't much time for us to talk anyway. Kate said it wasn't as hectic as a typical Friday night because of the holiday, but the tips were still good enough to make up for my only having worked two days for the week.
The nap I'd taken had done the job and I wasn't at all tired when I left work. I stopped by my room to change into more appropriate clothes and walked over to Buddies. The guy at the door gave me a hard time for not having any ID. I tried acting cute and helpless but I realized that only made me seem younger, so I switched to sexy instead, flirting with him, coming on to him as if he were a potential customer in the park. That worked. He put the underage bracelet on me as I paid the cover charge. He warned me to bring ID the next time and gave my butt a firm squeeze as he let me in. The place was packed and it took me a while to find Marcus. He was with a couple of friends and he introduced us, but it was noisy and I didn't catch their names. They talked a few minutes and then Marcus took my hand and led me upstairs where it was quieter, where he pulled me into a long hot kiss that seemed to last forever.
"I'm sorry about yesterday morning, you know, with my father. I panicked and acted stupid, afraid he'd know what was going on between us if he thought we knew each other. It's not like he'd even guess you were gay. I was just paranoid."
"That's okay. I figured that's what it was. I didn't know if he knew my friend Norman was gay so I kept my mouth shut about everything. It sounded like your dad was already annoyed with you for not helping out."
Marcus sighed. "He expects so much of me. I've been helping out at things like that my whole life. Yesterday, I was the one who set up the serving tables, got out all the plates, napkins and utensils and made sure everything was ready to serve the dinner. Then just because I helped myself to some food in the kitchen, he was bitching at me. Maybe it's because he has this tireless energy and enthusiasm for helping others that he thinks everyone should be just like him. I admire him so much and try to be like him, but hey, I'm nineteen years old and I slack off sometimes. I'm only human."
"Sorry, didn't mean to bring up a sore spot."
"No, it's okay. He's a good guy and I love him. I just can't be what he wants me to be every second, though. So what's with the name Jerry? Where's that come from?"
"It's Jeremiah. Most people call me Jerry, but I like for special people to call me Miah."
He grinned. "So I'm special?"
"You'd better believe it."
"Good, so are you. And I like Miah better."
We each had a Coke and we talked for a while, making plans for the next day. I told him about the dinner reservations.
"Is it a gay restaurant?"
"Mixed. There're all kinds of people who eat there."
He thought about it a minute. "Okay, as long as we don't act too obvious. You never know who else might be there."
He still seemed to be pretty paranoid, but then I thought about Ralph, and how he would have reacted if he'd found out I was gay. Since I left home I hadn't tried to hide anything, but I sure hid it before. Marcus led me back downstairs and dragged me out onto the dance floor. I wasn't a very good dancer but it was so crowded all I had to do was move a little and bump up against Marcus. That I liked. It had been late when I got to the club so last call came pretty quickly. Since we weren't drinking alcohol anyway it didn't matter to us. Marcus found his friends and told them he was going to walk me home and he'd be back for them in a few minutes. Apparently he'd driven them in his mother's car. We walked together, not holding hands and only touching accidentally. It wasn't so much his paranoia as my remembering that Manny had told me it wasn't a smart thing to do late at night. Back at the rooming house we stepped inside the front hallway and he gave me a proper goodnight kiss. It's a good thing his friends were waiting or I would have invited him up to the room and neither of us could take a chance on him falling asleep there again.
Saturday I slept in and then put myself thought a long tough workout. I knew my muscles would be sore the next day, but Marcus would be gone by then. I had a late lunch and went for a walk afterwards, getting home with just enough time for a shower before Marcus arrived. We'd decided on three o'clock so he wouldn't have to explain to his parents being out all day and all evening.
We were planning on fucking until it was time to go to the restaurant and we did. Within two minutes of his arrival we were naked and in bed. This time we had plenty of foreplay before he slowly made love to me. Afterwards, we dozed off and when we woke up, I made love to him. We took another little nap and then we had time for a quick fuck before our reservation. He did me because he woke up first and caught me before I realized what he was doing. I didn't mind at all.
Kate was very gracious as she seated us at our table. It was one of Greg's tables but Lisa stopped by to chat first. She'd heard from the others that I had a boyfriend and wanted to check him out. Everyone was very polite, but it was obvious that they were all doing just that, checking Marcus out. Even Dora came out of the kitchen to be introduced while we were eating. Greg was especially nice, treating me with respect, telling Marcus what a good waiter I was. I thanked him when Marcus got up to go to the men's room while we were waiting for dessert.
"You like this guy a lot, don't you Jerry?"
"Yeah, I don't know what it is about him. We don't know each other very well, but he really gets to me."
"I'm happy for you. Just take your time and let it happen."
He headed for the kitchen for our dessert and ran into Marcus on the way. They stopped and chatted for a minute and then Marcus came back and sat down.
"'What's with the waiter? Has he got a thing for you?"
"What are you talking about? He's straight. What did he say to you?"
"Nothing much, just said that you were a sweet kid and for me to be careful not to hurt you. He sounded concerned but it came out a little like a threat, like maybe he's jealous."
"He's just being protective, that's all. I told him that I liked you a lot."
"I guess that could be it."
Over flan I asked Marcus how he thought things were going between us. He had family plans the next day and was going back to school in the afternoon, so this was our last chance to talk.
"If you're asking me if I like you, I think that's pretty obvious. I do, more every time I see you. I wish I could spend lots more time with you. But I still think we should take it slow, like I said back in September. Nothing's changed much. I'm still away at school most of the time and you're here. I'd like to see a lot of you when I come home for Christmas."
"Same here. Maybe by the end of that vacation we'll be ready to take our relationship to the next level."
"You're still rushing things, Miah. Tell you what, if things keep getting better every time I come home and then next summer we see each other all the time without wanting to kill each other, maybe then we can move to that next level."
"Next summer? That's forever!"
He smiled. "It's not that long. Besides, what choice do we have?"