Welcome back dear readers!! Sorry for the delay, sometimes life just throws you unexpected curves balls. Like always comments and criticism are always welcome. oneoftheguys@live.com Aaron
For Chris, Ryan and Steve, whose support and encouragement have kept me going, especially when times were tough.
I spent the rest of Saturday in my room thinking about my encounter with Damien. But I guess I can admit that I was also trying to prove a point to my mom, I was trying to make her think that I was really mad because she mad me meet my dad today. If she could feel bad enough about forcing me to go she just may be able to look past my little spending spree. Of course if she hadn't made me go I never would have got upset with my dad and went shopping, and that means I wouldn't have met Damien. But she didn't need to know that.
I wanted to know everything there was to know about him. I wanted to know his favorite color, what he likes to eat, who is favorite band is, everything about him just seemed so important. I even wondered what type of shampoo that he used. I had to face facts, I had a major crush, my first major crush on a guy and it felt good. I just didn't know what to do next, I wanted to call him but I wasn't sure what to say or if it was too soon. What are the rules when it comes to two guys dating? Is it the same as it is for a guy and a girl that are dating? I have no idea what to do, I don't want to seem too eager, but I also don't want to seem uninterested!! What is the first step? So many questions that I needed answers to but I had no idea how to find them. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.
Eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up I could see the shadow of the sun going down on my bedroom wall, I glanced at my clock and realized that it was after five. I wandered downstairs after fixing my hair and straightening my clothes. I knew my mom would want a full report of brunch with my father, all I had to do was BS my way through it and that should be enough to satisfy her.
I noticed that I was the only one home once I was in the kitchen. My mom's car keys were not in their usual spot. That got me a bit excited, I was hungry and I wanted to eat but I hate eating with other people around. I made my way to the refrigerator and took out everything that could fit on the center island. It didn't matter what it was I was going to eat it. Just the thought got me excited, grabbed a fork from the drawer and got started on eating a few days worth of leftovers. With every mouthful I felt better and better, then sicker and sicker. It was a full on food frenzy and I was out of control. If Damien could see me know I thought to myself, he'd want nothing to do with such an out of control fat loser.
All the containers around me were emptying out I noticed when I dove in for more food. And suddenly I felt sick. I could feel the cold food all over my face since I didn't even take the time to heat anything up. I looked down at my shirt and noticed all the food that I managed to drip on myself. I was a gross mess. I gathered what was left of the food and put it back in the refrigerator, and then proceed to clean up anything that fell on the counter or floor. I just prayed the entire time that my mom would not walk in the door and witness me in all my sick and twisted glory.
"You can't keep doing this, I said out loud to myself. You gotta stop before someone catches you." Although I knew it was easier said then done because this demon had its claws in me tight and was not going to give me up that easily. I went up to my room to expel my binge, after I was done I put on some work out clothes and made myself put in at least 45 minutes on the treadmill just in case I didn't get everything back up. You can never be too careful with these things; nothing can be left for chance.
About a third of the way through my run I heard my front door opening signaling my mom's return.
"Adam?" She called out waiting for a response.
I lowered the speed on the treadmill before I answered her.
"Downstairs running!" I shouted up to her.
"I grabbed us some take out, once your finished and showered come join me please."
"Okay!"
I readjusted the sped and finished my run, by the time I was finished I was sweating like crazy and I felt a lot better. I wasn't thinking about Damien anymore and I wasn't obsessing about all the calories I had consumed earlier. I felt normal for awhile and that felt really good to me.
As I stripped down for my shower I glanced at myself in my full length mirror. I was repulsed by what I saw. My gut looked huge from all the food that I had consumed today but that didn't keep my stomach from growling. I knew that whatever my mom got for dinner I would at least have to eat a little of and try to keep it down. I just hopped that it wasn't anything too unhealthy.
I got into the shower and washed off all the sweat and that gross salty feeling you get from a good workout. As it all washed down the drain I felt the tension of my muscles go down with it. I jumped out and dried off, put on some clothes and joined my mom for my second dinner. Before I could even join her at the table she asked me the question I had been dreading since I got up from my nap.
"How was brunch with your dad?" she asked way too cheerfully.
"It was what it was." was my reply.
"You know Adam; this isn't easy for any..."
I was not going to let her continue with this, my mood had just improved and I wasn't going to let this ruin it.
"Can we just drop this please? I went and I was cordial, can we just leave it at that?" I said as I looked at her my eyes pleading to just let the subject drop.
"Okay, we don't have to talk about it now, but trust me we will."
"Thank you; what did you get us for dinner?"
"House special pad Thai for me, and vegetarian pad Thai for you."
Our conversation through dinner was good, she didn't bring up my dad and I basically caught her up on my life for the past week. Well, as much as I could without telling her that her only child was finally admitting to himself that he was gay and has a crush on a guy and is driving himself crazy on when to call him. No need to make her choke I figure.
After finishing enough of my pad Thai to not raise suspicion I excused myself to finish my homework. Once I had my books all laid out I tried to get to work. But it wasn't happening; instead my mind found ways to wander back to Damien. What if he only gave me his number to be nice? What if he gave me a wrong number? What if...
My thoughts were rudely interrupted by my cell phone vibrating across my desk. I looked at it and saw that it was Jeff, I'm sure he's calling me to find out if I had sex with Shannon. I'll tell him, but not before I make him sweat it out a bit.
"Yeah?" I said into my phone.
"So did you bang her?" Adam asked excitedly. Man was he straight to the point.
"So how was your day Jeff?" I asked just to annoy him.
"Cut the crap, you know I gotta know, that Shelly girl was hot!"
"Shannon."
"Huh?"
"The girl, her name is Shannon not Shelly."
"Oh, fine whatever, did you do her?"
"No I didn't because she was drunk and we both know that wouldn't be right." I was waiting for him to challenge me on that but knew he wouldn't. For some reason I didn't want to disappoint him. So I knew it was important that he think I wanted to, but couldn't. I wasn't ready to tell him about me being gay, but I didn't want him to think I was gay either.
"Man AB that sucks, maybe next time huh?
"Yeah maybe next time..."
I spent the rest of the conversation listening to him go on and on about how hot Megan was and if he was going to ask her out. I never knew Jeff had a thing for Megan; this was the first time that I ever remember him talking about. The good thing about Jeff is that he is one of those people that don't really require another person to talk with him, he does all the talking and this evening that was fine by me.
After about an hour we ended our conversation and Jeff thanked me for helping him out with his Megan issue. I guess if he considers an "um hmm" and a well placed "yeah" every now in then help, but who was I to question it. We finished by making plans to meet for a workout in my basement on Monday instead of a run in the morning. I would still run, before he arrived.
I tried to finish my Latin homework but that didn't work, I tried to do some math but that didn't go much better. I knew what I had to do if I ever wanted to do anything again. I had to call Damien, if I didn't at the very least I'd flunk out of school, if my luck wasn't as good I'd drive myself crazy.
While debating what to say to him when I called him I spun myself around and around in my desk chair. As childish as it sounds it really helps me think, I guess it could have something to do with my brain sloshing around in my skull, who knows. After I made myself dizzy to the point of not seeing clearly I decided that I would just text him. If I text him, I wouldn't have to worry about not knowing what to say, and if he didn't want to talk to me at least I wouldn't have to replay his voice in my head saying so over and over again. It seemed like I really good plan. But what if he didn't text me back?
So I reached for my wallet to grab the receipt with his number on it. But what if it's his home number and not a cell number? Yep, I really was going to drive myself crazy pretty soon. I never got this worked up over calling a girl that I liked; if this is what I have to look forward to I may just have to be alone forever.
Looking at the receipt in my hand made me smile, I smiled thinking about the events of this afternoon and how I had finally worked up the courage to call him, even if I was just texting him and even if I was stalling. I flipped in around my fingers a few more times and realized that it was do or die time. I was going to text him. I slide open my phone and went to my text screen, I carefully entered in his number so I wouldn't make a mistake. Now all I had to do was write him a message, I was going to keep it short and sweet so I wouldn't freak him out, or more importantly freak myself out.
So I text to him a reminder of who I was, and a thank you for helping me out in the store today and for the discount. And at the last minute I added that we should get together this week and it would be my treat since him helped me out today. Once I was done perfecting it I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then I quickly hit send and closed my phone. The ball was now in his court, I did my part I just hoped that he would respond.
A sat my phone back on my desk and tucked his number away in a desk drawer. I went to lay on my bed and read a book for my English class. I had to do something or else I would stress over how soon he would reply. I got myself comfy on my bed and started to read. What seemed like hours passed, but was only a half hour I heard my message tone going off on my phone. I nearly jumped off my bed and hit my ceiling. Could it be him? I made myself calm down before I went to check my phone, no sense in getting myself worked up in case it wasn't him, or worse yet, in case he didn't want to talk to me.
I went over to my phone and looked at it; there was a message from an unknown sender. That had to be him! I was so excited that I dropped my phone on the floor, sometimes I could be such a spaz. I opened my phone and braced myself, just because he text me back doesn't mean that it has to be good I reminded myself. I went right to the message and closed my eyes before it cane up on the screen. This is it I told myself, he is either going to be nice or tell you to take a hike. Be ready for anything. I looked at the message and skimmed down it very fast. It was about the same length as mine and without reading every word it sounded good so far. I went back to the beginning of it and read it word for word.
He basically told me that I was welcome and there was no thank you needed he was just doing his job and since I spent so much he gave me the discount to show his appreciation. He enjoyed helping me because I was open to suggestions and made the time fun. He hoped I enjoyed the clothes and wanted to find a time this week to hang out because I seemed like a cool person.
After reading it completely I jumped around my room celebrating, after I few minutes of it I calmed myself down enough to reply. I text him back and asked him if tomorrow was good for him. This time I kept my phone in my hand the entire time, it also seemed like if I let it go it would all be dream. After a few minutes my phone went off, I read the message and he said the tomorrow would be good and that we could make plans in the morning since he was tired from working a long shift and just wanted to get to be early. I wrote back okay and that I'd call him in the morning, I ended it with a good night.
Not expecting a reply back I sat my phone down and got ready for bed. I figured that since Damien was going to sleep I could too, and it would be like we were sleeping together. No sooner then I put on someting to sleep in did I hear my phone go off again. I went over to my desk to look at it, it was Damien. I opened it up to see what he wrote. He wrote me back goodnight and sleep tight. I was happy before but now I was floating on cloud nine! I had a date tomorrow with Damien! I had a date tomorrow with Damien? What on earth did I just get myself into?
Sorry this chapter is so short, but I felt like I had to get something out there. I'm already working on the next chapter and it will be much longer I promise. Thanks for reading and don't forget to send me your comments.
Aaron