Dont Want You Back

By moc.loa@yarGretirW

Published on Jul 28, 2000

Gay

Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction!

I hope you all enjoy it. I really have not heard much from anyone lately. I know some people are reading it because I go to the chat room and get told there. But hey, drop me a line to let me know what you think. It would be nice to get the mail and the questions once in a while.

Writergray@aol.com

Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and these are a few of my favorites:

Copier guys (beginnings) Dream Lance Brian's 7 seas of loneliness Open Arm's Superman can't fly Fixing the Backstreet Boy's Kevin behind the scenes We admitted it Lonely Lance My surprise romance Because I love you Model Romance

Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com

Don't Want You Back-Part 13

'Try as we may?'

By Grayson S Vellar

"I know why they were doing it," I removed my fingers and just looked at him to see what all of this meant to him. I was half laughing as I suddenly realized I knew him this well and there was no questions in my mind he understood. He was so cute as he looked at me astonished realizing how much I pay attention to everything. I smiled at him as I stood up from the piano. I held out my hand to him to help him up which he took eagerly. We walked back down together in complete confidence that this was who we were to be. Even facing Keith was going to go better weather he liked it or not!

Part 13

"Well Paul has friends in high places and let just say that Manerva is not going to get away with it," Keith said while sitting on the couch. Kevin and I could hear him saying this and both smiled to each other. I because I was realizing he was still willing to help us, and Kevin for the fact that Keith was right.

"She better not or we better start thinking about rebuilding," Nick said taking a very determined pose next to him.

"You guys have nothing to worry about, as I said before, I am going to see her this afternoon. But, I would suggest you all take a few days off and kind of lay low," Keith said standing up.

"We can't," Kevin said as we hit the bottom step. Every head in the room snapped in our direction. Keith was the only one looking at us with anger written on his face.

"You have to. You know you do. If you push this you will get yourself hurt and I won't have that," Keith said turning to me. "Michael you alone are now under a lot of scrutiny from the public. You will have to watch what you say and do," Keith said turning to walk away I felt Kevin's hand tighten on mine.

"You have no right to act like this towards him or anyone else in my home," Kevin shouted at him. I suddenly cringed inside thinking of the implications. Here these two have been friends. Here, that one word bothered me now the most. This at one point was their home. They had shared this home. It was theirs.

"Oh really, I have no right? I have been with you since the days before you joined this group. I have been the one to helped you when you needed it and now you turn your back on me for a fuck." Keith shouted intensifying the last word spinning around to face Kevin. The rest of the room was silent as Kevin let go of my hand and stepped down to meet Keith face to face.

"Just because after all these years of you pining away for me you finally get the balls to say something.. I'm supposed to jump at the great chance to be with you. Now that's a fucking joke!" Kevin shouted directly into Keith's face.

"I came here today to be honest with you and this is what I get! Half my life has been spent being your lackey and now you turn on me! I hate this I hate what we have become," Keith said. "I always thought." Kevin cut him off as he began again.

"Since we were 12, you couldn't be honest with me? Now that I have the one, the one I want mind you. You come here and confess your love. I bet you had no idea everyone else knew before I did." Kevin paused looking around at the guys one by one as they shook their head yes. "I felt close to you! I trusted you and you never trusted my heart or me! Last night I realized what you thought about me. I realized it just after Michael gave me the ring; you wanted to suddenly talk to me. Tears were streaming down your face. That broke my heart because at one time you were my all. You were my everything!" Kevin paused as he hands began to shake. "I wanted you like nothing in this world. But I grew, I changed, and you finally decided to catch up with me. Too bad it was so late Keith. We would have made a good couple at first. But, like with everything else we would have had this fight or one like it and we would have separated," Kevin said pausing with tears streaming down his face. "All of this because we were cowards and could never say the words. All of this hurt after a lifetime spent so close I could never trust someone like I trust you." Kevin said wiping tears from his cheeks.

"It's true I was a coward all these years. I see what your saying and I know it was my fault. I should have told you or showed you. But, Kevin you are my best friend and you are everything to me. We have known each other for so long. Hell, I would not even be here right now if you have not convinced me to come out to Florida. I was engaged to her Kevin. I was engaged to Lisa for 6 months and I gave it all up for you, to be with you. Now, all I have done in a 24-hour period is throw it all away. I love you Kevin and I won't ever stop having those feelings for you. I know I can work through this and I know we can get back to the beginning. Our friendship will still be just as strong. But over all my love for you will fade in time. At least I can say I admit it, and never regret it again," Keith said taking a seat across the room.

"Can I say something here," I asked, as Kevin looked at me horrified. I leaned into his lips and kissed him gently before I started to speak.

"Trey, you are his true friend his brother his confidant. I bet you never think about how highly he speaks of you and yet you stand there thinking your losing him to me. It will never happen. If I have anything to do with it, you are going to be here for life. I need someone to talk to when he is being an ass. You are the one who knows him best. I appreciate the love you show him. Just realize I love him too. I want you to love him but there is a line between the love of a brother and the love of a lover. If you ever cross that line I will cut you off at the knees," I finished sternly shocking him and sending AJ into a laughing fit.

Kevin grabbed me into his arms and whispered into my ear. "He actually looks scared for a guy that could put you through a wall in 2 seconds flat," I grinned as I realized the look on Keith's face.

"I can respect that," Keith said looking up at my face as I turned it to one of seriousness again.

"By the way my name is Keith, only people who are close to me call me that any more," Keith said making me grin at him.

"Group hug!" AJ yelled jumping up and throwing himself at Keith. We soon all laughed and hugged and made some of the wounds seem less important.

"So, what do we do now," Nick asked.

"We all have a pool party and drink until we can't walk," AJ said in a low laugh.

"I'll pass on that, I have to go see LeighAnn this afternoon," Brian said receiving a groan from Howie and AJ.

"When you gonna realize she's a lesbian Brian," Nick asked.

"When you realize you want me," Brian shot back shutting him up instantly. "Really, I do have to go take care of some business with them tonight," Brian said taking a step towards the front door.

"Just be careful," I caught myself saying before I could stop the words.

"Now you and Kevin are starting to talk alike," Brian said over his shoulder as he stepped out the door.

"Woo hooo, I can't wait to see all of you in swim suits," Glen said licking his lips giggling. I laughed realizing he was joking but Kevin's smile turned to a frown.

"He's joking," I whispered to Kevin who in turn jumped back into the conversation realizing he had been caught.

"Who said anything about wearing a swim suit," Kevin said in a serious tone of voice. AJ turned to meet his gaze as everyone laughed at the expression on his face.

"Kevin suddenly has a sense of humor? I guess that mean we keep you around," AJ said staring Glen.

"Sorry to eat and run guys but I have some work to do. Have to see a woman about some blackmail charges," Keith said hugging each of us before heading out the door.

Judy Adams...

"Okay Jack, explain yourself," Judy said walking into his home without notice. She had been pacing in the driveway for the last half an hour. Unbeknownst to the two lovers she was here. They had been spending this day inside alone. Jack lay on the couch clad only in his red and black boxers with Tony lying between his legs resting comfortably. After last evening, the two had decided to hide out. Neither wanted to deal with Francine. Neither wanted to deal with the world outside these four walls.

"Judy," Jack questioned, as he lay half-awake. They had finished eating breakfast, and after here they lay nestled in the safety of his home.

"Jack! What the hell is this?" Judy shrieked realizing he was lying there with another man.

Kevin's Back Yard

The backyard was set all we had to do was get along for the afternoon. Keith, Brian, and Nick were gone. That only left Howie, Glen, AJ, Kevin, and myself. I felt comfortable here even more so than I had when I first moved to Florida. I mean who wouldn't when they have an instant family like this one to fall into.

'Family? Now there was a concept to get a grip on.' I had been thinking before all of this to move home to get away from everything I knew. To move back to live with Liz and Jeff would have meant I would have never met Kevin. But, my determination had been my best gift. The guys loved me as much as he does. I have my love, my true love, to contend with these days. A quote popped into my ear as I lay next to Kevin on the doublewide lounge chair.

'If love were but a poetic word it would be thy name. For in you there are the moon and stars of my night's skies forever more. I knew not what the possibilities of love were until your words rang clear to mine own heart. For in your words those truths have struck the mind of this lonely man. May love bind this bleeding soul so that it may live on in the happiness that ensues from your very touch...'

It was a quote given to me when I asked my mother the ultimate question. "What is true love supposed to be like? I know I have never felt it. But, what is it really like?" At the time, it was a rhetorical question. But, it was those types of questions that had made me who I am today. I always wanted to know how to feel and what something felt like. I now knew the words were true. I leaned over and kissed Kevin on the cheek to which he opened his eyes in surprise.

"What was that for?" he asked smiling at me.

"If love were but a poetic word it would be thy name. For in you there are the moon and stars of my night's skies forever more. I knew not what the possibilities of love were until your words rang clear to mine own heart. For in your words those truths have struck the mind of this lonely man. May love bind this bleeding soul so that it may live on in the happiness that ensues from your very touch." I said laying my head on his chest looking down at our feet intertwined.

He wrapped his arms around me tight as I looked at Howie who was smiling at the two of us. Glen had gone into the house for some reason he was not there with him. I could see him pacing back and forth in the kitchen area of the house just inside the window view. He was on the phone he was frowning as he spoke. No doubt, it was to be some elaborate problem that all of us would be involved in. I was confused but settle on the idea of enjoying Kevin touch as he ran his fingers through my short hair.

"Thin eyes are the keeper to loves gate. I wish never to enter in but only to gaze into your beauty. May my life be spent with this feeling forever more. My only wish it to swim in the emotions of love within the pools to your soul," Kevin said causing AJ to suddenly sit up and lower his sunglasses looking over the top of them at us. Howie had the same look on his face as Fatima walked out to join us next to the pool. AJ had called her machine earlier leaving a message for her to come over. At first, he was concerned a bit when he didn't reach her. I spent the remaining time watching him try to secretly worry.

"What did I miss?" Fatima asked as she sat down on the lounge next to AJ surprising him as he grinned from ear to ear.

"Kevin just turned all romantic and mushy. I think he and Michael are rewriting Romeo and Juliet or something," AJ said as she lay down next to him covering her eyes with her sunglasses.

"Really did you learn anything from it," Fatima asked sending me over the edge with laughter.

"Goddess" AJ said leaning over the side of his chair towards her.

"Yes," Fatima said still not moving in her chair.

"Would thou love a humble man," AJ asked seductively. "I beg a forgiveness from you. May you forgive this humble man for his past short coming and love him as he loves you?" AJ said stealing a quick kiss on the cheek from her and lying back down. Fatima didn't move she only smiled from where she lay. I was shocked he could make such a romantic statement and gesture. Especially since none of us knew, weather or not they were together.

Brian at LeighAnne's house...

"Jerry is that you?" Brian asked into his cell phone.

"Yeah Bri," Jerry responded.

"Oh, good I was hoping I would catch you before Fatima did," Brian paused looking up at Leigh grinning. She saw that he was happy. She knew him well enough to know when he was. They had been together in the press' eyes for quite some time it was inevitable that they would know a lot about one another. She urged him to go on with his call by gesturing with her hand to do what had to be done.

"Jerry I was wondering if you would come to dinner with me and some friend this evening. It should be a lot of fun and maybe even get you to smile again," Brian said thinking this was the best way to get the past and present to meet.

"Okay what time should I be there and where," Jerry asked.

"Monet's over on 15th and Chestnut, about 7:30 sound good," Brian said hoping he would say yes.

"Sure, what should I wear," Jerry asked lazily as he had barely gotten off the couch just second before Brian had called. He had been sitting there all morning thinking of Rowan. Thinking of a past, he wished he could change. Thinking of a man that he wished he had never lost.

He knew his relationship with Brian was something he was feeling out of stress. He had dreamed a man to take care of him. To comfort him from all his woes and to take away the darkness that had shrouded him for so long. He needed a man to make him live again. He also knew that with Brian he would never be truly able to freely love him. This was his dream and his nightmare all along. In the dream, he had been warned that it was almost there. It was almost in his reach it was everything he wanted but he could never have it all because it would always be left in the dark. He wanted the whole picture, the whole dream, and the idea of love and expression. His dream was now looked deeply at, it had told him that from the beginning. But, to tell Brian when he cared for him already was something he could not do.

"Jerry you still there," Brian asked after a long pause.

"Yeah sorry just thinking again," Jerry said.

"I know Jerry and we are going to make it all better tonight," Brian whispered as Leigh's eyes bugged out of her head. She thought he was going to tell him everything. She thought he was going to blow his chance to make this man truly happy.

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

"Just that I understand the thinking game," Brian said smiling. "Look I am at a friends house right now, so I gotta run. But, I look forwards to seeing you tonight," Brian said his good-byes and hung up staring at both LeighAnn and Dee. Who only stared back "What?" He asked as the two giggled at him.

Jack Lyons' House...

"Jack answer me!" Judy shouted taking a seat across from the two now frozen in place, and in fear.

"Powerful men have secret all the time Judy," Jack simply answered.

"Oh," Judy said in a whisper thinking about her suddenly barging in. This had all been a bad idea. She had left Francine alone in her house. Alone to tend to herself as she came to face this man.

"Judy, are you in there please say something," Jack said not moving even still.

"I just never thought of you as..." Judy began and turned red seeing for the first time that Tony was wearing nothing at all.

"You mind turning around so I can get up," Tony asked.

"No not at all," Judy said turning her back to them now facing the fireplace.

Orange County Corrections Facility (Female Jail Housing)...

"Manerva you have a visitor," A young woman said, as she opened the cell door to escort the woman they had all grown to hate to the visiting area.

"Who is it," Manerva asked not moving from her bunk. She had been laying here since the Ox of a cellmate had vacated the area to go workout.

"Who the hell should care. Now get your ass up and out!" The younger woman shouted showing her the baton in her hand.

"Forget I asked. Jesus just because everyone is pointing the finger at me and thinking I did something wrong you think you can treat me..." She was cut off.

"Keep it up and I will have you gagged and locked up tight," Shirley said as Manerva caught site of her name badge.

"Shirley, it would be wise to treat me dignified I still have friends in high places," Manerva said stepping out of the cell. Neither spoke another word as they headed down the long corridor leading to an outer chamber where she would have access to the room where she would meet he unidentified visitor.

Shirley to say the least had never thought about Manerva as a good person or even having friends. However, it was never an issue with any other prisoners before to even entertain the idea of higher powers. This one was pure hell on the nerves. This one was Manerva the bitch everyone wanted to see hung from the top of the cell at night. They had put her in the cell with Mamma last evening. They had all hoped mamma would do her in. They had all hoped for the woman to make things right. They hated this woman for her intent alone. But no one really knew what to do. Mamma was just that, a mother and to see her lose her son over a worthless bitch like Manerva would be bad as well.

Shirley led Manerva into the small room where Keith sttood silently waiting for her arrival. As soon as Manerva saw him, she turned to walk back to her cell. However, Shirley would have nothing of the sort as she slammed the heavy door shut before she could exit the room.

"Let me out!" Manerva shouted at Shirley who only grinned from ear to ear.

"I take it you know who I am," Keith asked.

"Your Kevin's fuck buddy that's who you are," Manerva said whirling around to face him.

"No I'm not. I am his friend however and I wanted to talk to you to find out what to expect form all of this," Keith said sitting calmly down trying not to blow the situation. He knew from her demeanor there was little hope of making this work. But still in his heart, he hoped he could find out what to expect.

"Go fuck Kevin or something. I want to be left alone," Manerva said facing him directly as she lit a cigarette. Her face was stern her demeanor was strong.

"Why would I want to do something like that?" Keith asked in a feigned innocent tone of voice. The only reaction Keith could see on her face was the twisted expression of hatred.

"Because your all alike," Manerva said as she stood up a headed back towards the door. "Ask Glen what this is all about. That little fuck knew about it all! He was there from the beginning. For matter that so was Michael!" She was pissed. She did not intend to give up her story. There was little to tell really. When things did not go the way, she wanted them to she decided to make them up. If she was not going to get her way, she may as well make it worse for everyone. Why go down for this without taking everyone else with her.

"If we were all alike, I guess everyone would happen to believe your innocent too," Keith said trying to redirect the conversation.

"If you must know, I did everything they say I did and I am going to do more. Stick around you might learn a thing or two," Manerva said as the door opened and began walking out of the room.

Kevin House an hour and half later...

"Keith what's wrong?" Glen asked as he walked out onto the back patio where we all had been laying out.

"She saw right through me. She won't give it up. She admits it all.." Keith said trailing off, as he sat down on the end of the lounger Kevin and I were cuddling in.

"What do you mean buddy?" Kevin said leaning up as he realized the situation.

"She won't budge. She is going to make this hard on everyone." Keith said thinking heavily as he sighed in defeat.

"What happened?" Glen asked breaking the silence with the one question he needed to ask.

"She said you knew how to stop all of this," Keith said looking at him square in the eyes.

"Me how would I know?" Glen asked ask and I knew he had no idea.

"She said you were there from the beginning. She said you knew why she started this. She said Michael was there from the beginning too," Keith said calmly. He didn't want to say the last part but he had to. He had to know who was involved. If she was making this more than what it was. He had to know everyone.

"She started this as a way to get control over the project. She went over the edge some where though." Glen said thinking hard. "She wanted Michael out of the way. He was merrily the pawn in all of this," Glen said drifting off.

"I have no idea what you two did," I said trying to figure it all out.

"We, didn't do this she did," Glen said.

"She was planning this originally with you," I said.

"She wanted the project originally, for my gain in the company," Glen said. "With Miliken out of the way and her as the next partner in line we would have free rain in the company," Glen said thinking back.

"But what changed? When did you all talk about it?" Keith asked gesturing towards me and then Glenn. I was flabbergasted; I had nothing to do with this.

"You're saying all of this like I was involved. Let's get this straight I had nothing to do with any of this. I contacted Fatima because they were trying to make the video go badly! I tried to make it work. I wanted this video. I needed it to make things right in my life. I had to prove to myself that I was worth..." Kevin threw his arms around me as I was racked with sobs coming form deep within.

"He's right you know." Glen said pausing. "He had nothing to do with it. They both had me backed into a corner one way or another. I had them under control, or at least I thought I did. I mean when you look at the situation I was being ripped apart from two directions," Glen began as everyone listened intently to what caused all of this.

"Miliken wanted me to be his lackey because he had found out about Manerva. What I didn't know until just yesterday, is when he started to play against her it was because she was cornering him. I have no idea with what, but he was. I can see it now. But at the time, I had no idea what was truly going on. He was having me do his dirty work. Hiring people and getting dirt on them to control them," Glen stopped looking directly at me. "It went to far when he wanted you gone. The only way they could control you was through me. I had no choice but to follow. They knew too much and I had done too much of what they wanted already. Making me the scapegoat was not that far from being an option." Glen said making me realize he never meant to hurt me he had too. Kevin sqqueezed me hard as I began to speak.

"So you took their offer of the job and pushed me out to get what you wanted?" I asked.

"Not exactly. I was being forced to from both sides and there were no options to take at that point so I was ready to turn on both of them I had it all set up. But again, what I didn't know was Fatima had already gotten to him. She had already set all of this up. I had no idea until he was in that conference room with us," Glen said looking back at Howie who now sat up next to him holding his hand.

"So he wanted you to get rid of me. She offered you the position and you just wanted out. But with everything that had been done you had to make them turn on each other?" I asked.

"Kind of. I was trying to set it up when you finally started winning. You played the role far better than I would have. You out smarted all of us, you called reinforcements in," Glen said pointing to Fatima with his free hand. "When she brought the guys in Manerva and Miliken suddenly back stepped and wanted to cover their tracks as far as I can tell. That is why at the restaurant they tried their last steps in regaining control. Manerva tried to fire you yes. But she was trying to make it look like me to make the rest of you think I was setting all of this up. But, Michael was to smart and realized the one thing I over looked. The stationary was hers and hers alone. No one in the office other than her used it. Miliken on the other hand tried another approach he tried to offer you his services and dropped it all making it look like it was her all along. Truth is they both were up to their ears in trouble." Glen said leaning back against Howie's awaiting chest.

"Oh," was all I replied with as I let everything set in. Glen continued from where he now lay.

"But with what happened at the restaurant. Manerva suddenly changed somehow. She got caught in the middle of all of it. She tried to get out of it by getting ride of both of us," Glen said looking down at his hands. "I have come to a lot of conclusions the last few days and I really believe she wanted us both out of the way from the beginning. She was using both of us Michael," Glen said as Howie wrapped him in his arms holding him close. "She was playing a game. When she was about to get caught red handed, she blamed whoever was in the way. She even in some ways blamed the guys and Fatima," Glen and slipping off in deep thought again.

"She played you both against one another. I can see it now but I just wish I had of thought of it when you first contacted me," Fatima said walking out to join us. She walked over to AJ and sat close to him wrapping her arm around his shoulder. This was it; I had to know what was going on with these two all day they had been close like this.

"So, what's with the two of you," I asked daringly.

"Same thing as before," AJ said leaning over and kissing Fatima.

"Same as before? You never kissed me before last night," Fatima said laughing at him.

"Well, true to us it is the same as just before you dropped me off at home. But to them I guess I'm just teasing," AJ said kissing her again.

"Excuse me but that kiss is not solving our problem," Nick said standing up and heading back into the house. We watched as he picked up the nearest phone. All of us were curious to see what was about to happen.

"Johnnie Wright please," Nick said into the phone.

"Johnnie Wright?" I asked.

"Nick has his ways," Kevin said.

"Johnnie, this is Nick Carter, we need your no nonsense balls to the wall kind of dealings on a situation we're facing," Nick said walking up the stairs.

"Since when did he get so business like?" Howie asked astonished at the situation.

"Since oh about a year ago when I started to teach him a thing or two," Kevin said pulling his sunglasses back on and leaning back into the sunlight.

"Cuddle-fest is over, time to go to work. We need to speak with Jack and get our name out of the muck before it goes there, from all of this," Nick said walking up to Trey, Kevin, and I.

"Hello?" a woman's voice shouted through the house. "Kevin are you in here?"

Everyone except for Glen and I had a confused look on our faces. Kevin was suddenly filled with confusion and a sullen look crossed through his eyes.

"Mom?" Kevin questioned before heading into the house leaving the rest of us outside.

To Be Continued...

Talk to you all soon... Let me know what you think writergray@aol.com

Next: Chapter 14


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