DYLAN'S SOPHOMORE YEAR
Chapter 15
by Donny Mumford
Dodger and I are laying together on the chaise lounge in the basement. We've been laying here quietly for awhile now. We're both naked except for his silky t-shirt that's cool against my bare chest. Feeling damn good after our hot sex... Dodger always generates hot sex. Super hot fucking, but he's casual about it at the same time. Hmmm, 'seriously hot' and 'casual' could be an oxymoron. Whatever, now it's time to finally hear why Dodger enlisted in the Army. He said he's going to tell me, and then he wants to discuss something that's been bothering him. Something important, although he says I probably won't like hearing what it is. I've given up guessing. I squirm on the couch because I'm a little uncomfortable. There's cum on my buttocks, the back of my legs, and my dick. Dodger has cum on his face and neck, and a few other places too. He keeps wiping at the cooling cum on his face, and finally mutters, "We'll talk, Dylan, but first we gotta get cleaned up. I'm sticky and sweaty so, what the fuck, we'll take a shower together." I mumble, "Together? My shower stall's too small, and anyway I wanna hear what you have to say first." He's grinning as he reaches down and gives my sticky ass a hard slap and a loud, "SMACK!," sound rings in my ears with my ass stinging. I yelp out, "Ow! God-dammit, Dodger!" He gives me another mischievous grin, saying, "Come on, Dylan, a shower first." Taking my hand he tugs on my arm so I reluctantly standup. He has the most natural dominant way about him and he brings it off without an ounce of threatening overtones. It's very unique. Lots of grins and smiles while at the same time he's being firm about getting his way. He's always been like that now that I think about it. The thing is I never took Dodger seriously before, and I kind of sense I'm taking him more seriously now. He's great fun to be with, but like I said, he always has had his way with me. I never gave it much thought in the past because with Dodger everything's done in a 'fun and games', 'shits and giggles' manner. At least that's how I've interpreted it as long as I've known him. I'm sensing something different about him now though, or is it just my overactive imagination?
He pulls me by the hand and we go up the stairs, down the hall, through my bedroom, and into the bathroom. I'm not resisting, not to a noticeably degree. Dropping my hand, he takes his t-shirt off, muttering, "Would you turn the shower on, Dylan. Get the water's temperature however you like it, okay?" I do that, looking back at Dodger. Wow, his naked body is a good example of the perfect male form at it's best. He has grown into quite a hot body, long and lean with nice definition. Like his brother, Dodger doesn't have much in the way of body hair other than pubic hair and the hair on his head, and presently the hair on his head is not much more than a shadow due to the absurd basic training induction haircut. How out of date and pointless it is, but now that his basic training is complete I imagine he'll be growing it out to whatever is acceptable military length. Too many pointless rules in the Military for me. Dodger stands here as comfortable with his nakedness as it's possible to be. He stares back at me as I'm staring at him. He has a smirk on his face, like, 'Why are you staring?' His big, pretty brown eyes and that bemused expression on his face is so cool, and so typically Dodger. Finally he asks exactly what his expression seemed to be asking, "What? Why are you staring at me?" I shrug, "Because you're hot, that's why. There's something different about you too, something I can't put my finger on. Did basic training change you?" He grins while lazily shaking his head 'no', mumbling, "Fuck if I know, Dylan. I don't think I'm changed. You tell me." Nodding my head as if I know something about the way he's changed, although I don't, I point at him and with a grin on my lips, "There's something different about you, something's fucking different, goddammit!" He laughs, shrugging again, then he mutters, "Mom and dad said the same thing, but I don't think I've changed." I squint my eyes pretending I don't believe him, and he laughs, "Seriously, I don't know what it is that makes you think
I've changed, honestly I don't. I'm still the lovable dude I've always been, just hotter now, right?" He's being sarcastic because I said he was hot, but he is hotter than ever!
The water's just the right temperature so we step under the shower spray and tightly turn around under the water to get wet all over. As our sides and backs drag along the shower stall's walls, Dodger goes, "There's plenty of room in here, what the fuck ya talking about?" He's full of it, there's barely enough room to move. Our bodies are in constant contact as we shampoo our hair, such as it is for both of us, and then rinse off. I was hoping we'd shampoo and wash each other, but apparently Dodger isn't feeling that. Our elbows poke one another as we wash ourselves while sharing the plastic bottle of bath gel. It's so awkward washing in these tight quarters it gets kinda stupid and we start laughing about our ridiculous situation. Then we get really silly squeezing streams of bath gel and shampoo on each other creating bubbly suds everywhere. Finally I ask, "Is this how you trainees shower in the barracks?" he goes, "Of course, but there's more grab-ass there. You know, ass grabbing until everyone's got hard boners." I mutter, "I'm so fucking sure that happens." He goes, "Nah, it doesn't. Everyone's real conscientious about not looking at other guy's dicks. They don't want to be accused of being a fag." We've put the containers of bath gel and shampoo on the little shelf now, and we're rinsing off in earnest. I ask, "We're there any other gay guys in your barracks, or just you and Connor?" He shrugs, "Who knows? As far as everyone in our barracks was concerned there were zero gay guys. It's a taboo subject except for joking around and breaking balls." I shouldn't ask this, but I'm so fucking curious, "Um, ah, did you and Connor, you know, do it?" He looks at me, "Huh, I'm disappointed you'd ask me that, Dylan. If Connor and I 'did it', as you put it, that would be private between Connor and me, wouldn't it?" Okay, right there... that's a different response than Dodger would have had before the Army. In the past he would go into some bizarre description of a devious sexual act he and Connor performed. It'd be total bullshit of course, but one thing he wouldn't have done is use the 'That's between him and me,' card. I mutter, "Sorry for asking."
Dodger gets his arms around me, mimicking me saying, "Sorry for asking." Then he says, "Yeah, we did it a couple of times. Connor has a crush on me, but I think he has one on that little guy too, what's his name, um, Cory, yeah that's it. He got kind of excited reading Cory's emails." I say, "Cory's just coming around to admitting, or accepting that he's gay." Dodger squeezes my ass, muttering, "Lucky him for joining the right team," and he turns me around so my back's against his chest with his arms around me for a hug, "I love your body, Dylan."He humps his hips against my ass sexily. With his chin on my shoulder and his lips near my ear, he asks, "Would you like me to give you another taste of little Dodger?" I stifle a moan because, like I said, he seems hotter to me than ever before, and I thought he was hot way back when I first met him. He's somehow ratcheted his sexiness up a bit during his basic training. I don't want to be a hypocrite though. I told him I'm cutting back on random side-sex in my new frame of mind, and saying I want him to fuck me again would sort of make a mockery of that. He's grinding his groin against my buttocks and I can feel his cock getting hard. Worse than that, I can feel mine getting hard too. Goddammit! Ya know, if I'd had some of the side sex I turned down this week I'd be better able to resist Dodger. It's ironic actually. Still, I'm sticking to my guns.
Dodger's fingers are gently rubbing my nipple, the one with the nip ring, and by now his cock is very hard sliding up and down the crack of my ass. I'm feeling so hot it's like insane. My head's back on his shoulder as he's rubbing his cheek against mine. He quietly asks, "How about it, Dylan, would you mind. You get me crazy with desire, dude. I'm not too proud to admit that. I'm kinda helplessly horny around you and I always have been." Okay, there's another change in Dodger right there. Before his Army experience, such as it is, he'd brashly insist we do it, not ask. Of course I never gave him much of a fight resisting. It was part of the game we'd play, the sexy game that usually included Vinnie who always follows Dodger's orders to the letter. Now Dodger's seemingly more into romancing me rather than being his old brash self. He seems more serious about it now, and it's like less of a sexy game and more like, more like what? Did I say 'romancing' and 'Dodger' in the same sentence? Fuck! That doesn't compute. I never saw him romantic with Vinnie, never mind with me. Dodger's always been outrageously inappropriate, but in a funny, hot, and sexy way. He is sexy as hell, that's indisputable.
To stick to my guns about cutting down on side-sex even though we both have sprouted new boners, I tell him, "Yeah, fuck me Dodger, fuck me hard like you used to do it in the past!" What'd I just say? What the fuck?! I meant to say, 'No, sorry.' Dodger goes, "Good, Dylan, that's the right answer." Then the, "Smack! smack!"sounds as he spanks my wet ass with me yelping and lurching my ass forward to try getting away from Dodger's swinging arm and smacking hand. He chuckles because there's no where to go in this shower stall, so two more, "SMACK! SMACK!" with me yelling, "OW! Dammit!" As he chuckles, then gets his hands around the front of both my hips and presses the head of his cock against my asshole, and holds it there. Water continues pouring down on us and with the head of his cock halfway past the lips of my asshole, he says, "Those few smacks on your awesome ass happened only because I know you like that sort of thing. The smacks had nothing to do with how I feel about you." I push back a little against his boner and it slides in past my sphincter, as I grunt, then mutters, "I know that, Dodger," and he says, "You asked for a hard fucking, but please let me do the fucking, okay?" He's referring to me pushing back onto his cock. What he said, and how he said it, is also a good example of Dodger's dominant style. It's like he isn't even thinking he's being dominant so much as he thinks he's just being himself. That's actually pretty cool, plus he got his message across to me too... be docile and let him do the fucking his way. Yes, Sir! Maybe I should salute.
Instead I wait patiently for Dodger to do it his way, and his way turns out to be him pulling me back onto his engorged boner using the grip he has on my hips, and his strong arms. He does it slowly, quietly going, "Aaaaaah," as his cock goes further and further up my ass. When my buttocks is tight against his groin he wraps his arms around my stomach and hugs me tight against him. My rectum feels really good and nicely filled-up in a pleasantly sexual way. The side of Dodger's face is against mine again as he says in a conversational voice, "I could stay like this for a very long time and be quite content knowing that there's no place else on earth I'd rather be, and no one else on earth I'd rather be with in this shower." I'm feeling good too, really good, but like I said, this is beginning to border on romantic sex more than recreational sex, which is the only kind of sex Dodger and I have ever had. Or am I letting my imagination run away with me again. Dodger's caressing the side of my face with his, as he says, "You have the most perfect ass, Dylan. It could get to be very habit forming, as I'm sure others have mentioned. What's it like being so desired, so sexually popular?" I go, "What are you talking about, Dodger? You've greatly exaggerated my desirability, sexually or any other way. You're as popular as me." He laughs quietly, than drags out the word 'sure', "Suuuure I am." It makes me grin, then my head goes back on his shoulder because he's right, this is nice. His body feels good and it's so nice being with this free spirited boy again. I've really missed him, missed him more than I even realized until seeing him again.
Dodger murmurs, "Here we go." Maintaining the tight hold of his strong arms around my stomach, he begins moving only his hips, fucking my ass. He's driving his rock-hard fat boner back and forth in my ass like a piston. It's different than he did it a little while ago. Being a competitive swimmer, and perhaps also because water is cascading all around us, Dodger's slipped into a freestyle hip-driving swimming motion where his hips rotate a little providing the force for his body in swimming, and in this case the force for his cock thrusting up my ass. It's slightly off center, as opposed to straight in. I'd forgotten until now, but he did a little of this the couple of times he fucked me in their pool, seemingly a lifetime ago. He probably isn't aware he's slipped into this mode of fucking, but I'm very aware of it because it creates extra pressure on the walls of my rectum, and it's especially noticeable when his fat cock head first pokes, and then slides tightly over my prostate. Disconcerting at first because it's like his boner's coming at my prostate sideways, pushing it out, and then sliding off it to continue up my ass. Again and again the off center penetrations poke my rectum wall, pushing it out, then sliding upwards, and it's a killer fuck. I'm very aroused as my anus gets stretched to the left or right with each penetration, and the combination of that plus the poking of his cock head on my prostate has me squirming, actually struggling in his arms. The sensations never decrease in my ass, everything is sensitized constantly and the off center piston never stops. I'm groaning along with Dodger's grunts and soon my back's bouncing off his chest with my ass thumping back into his thrusts. He's slamming his cock up my ass wildly, grunting louder now. Maybe in his head he's imagining swimming for the finish line at a swimming competition.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, mmm, Dodger...," I whine, as I'm bumping the back of my head on his shoulder. Enormous erotic sensations exploding inside my rectum now, as well as the lips of my asshole, and it's happening simultaneously. My anus sizzles and vibrates while my prostate screams out pleasure. My body shakes as I moan while thrashing around, and if Dodger wasn't so strong I'd have broken free of his hold and fallen out the shower stall's door. Not something I want to happen. I want him to keep fucking me like this for a day and a half. The fat, hard head of his cock bends my anus as it slides up my ass at an angle continuously putting tension on the walls of my rectum, sliding on it's way up my ass while pushing outward until colliding against my prostate gland as I moan, "Aaaaah, um, um, ooh," and his hard cock continues past the prostate and further up my rectum until his groin smacks by butt cheeks wetly, and his cock immediately pulls back creating the same sexy sensations in reverse, and then it starts all over again. I can picture his boner inside me as the never-ending sexual pleasure heightens. Apparently it's having a like effect on his cock, because after only three or four minutes Dodger slams into me groaning, holding his groin against my ass as he humps desperately against my buttocks making a low uncharacteristic whining sound of arousal. Then it's warm and wet in my rectum once again with Dodger still humping against me without withdrawing his hard fireplug boner. No pencil poke in the rectum this time when his orgasm exploded inside me like happened the first time he climaxed. This second orgasm lacked the force and volume of the first. His body leans against me, pushing me against the tile wall of the shower stall, another moan from Dodger, then a gasping deep breath and he humps his cock in my ass the normal way as I make a gagging sound overwhelmed with sexual sensations that are buzzing in my ass. I'm shaking all over and then arch my back humping my hips three times. The third time a short streak of cum shoots out and I almost faint at the enormous sensations all around my groin with my cock quivering. Another little cum shot follows the first with me shuddering and then concentrating on the still sizzling sensation in my ass and around my groin. They fade away as I lay against the tile wall hearing Dodger chuckling. He sputters a question, "What kind of fuck was that, huh? I got a little random there for a second. Dylan. Hey, you're shaking," and he wraps me in his arms again, asking, "Are you alright? I never saw you struggle like that before." I nod my head leaning back against him now, breathing hard, muttering, "Yeah, I'm okay. Awesome climax, although a small one. Oh my God, that was pretty hot, Dodger. Did you win the race?"
He turns me around so we're face to face, asking, "Race? Whaddaya mean?" The water is washing away Dodger's cum as it drools from my ass. Unfortunately the hot water is giving out and the shower becomes luke warm, soon to be cool. I go, "You were fucking me using that swimming hip drive move. The one you tried to teach me that time so I'd swim faster." He goes, "Heh heh, yeah, you need a little help with your swimming technique. I'm thinking about setting up a race between you and a cat. See which one of you can swim across a kiddy pool first." I go, "Hey, I can beat a cat! What the fuck you talking about?" I turn the water off, muttering, "Cat my ass." We get out and dry ourselves, both of us chuckling. Then, as we're hanging the towels up, Dodger says, "Just so you know, I didn't plan that encore fuck, Dylan. It's you! You're too sexy to take a shower with. I should have known that." I wave my hand at him, mumbling, "Don't give me that shit. You're horny yourself, that's what happened," and he goes, "Ha! You were so horny earlier it almost scared me. Almost, but not quite." Dry now, we walk around the bedroom looking for our clothes, then pad downstairs to the basement where most of our clothes were dropped. After getting dressed, Dodger says, "Let's get some fresh air and talk." Oh yeah, I'm gonna find out the big bad secret of why Dodger joined the Army. We go upstairs and out to the balcony to sit in the two outdoor armchairs, looking at one another. Then Dodger drops his eyes, chuckles, then looks up at me, saying, "Fuck, this is gonna be harder than I expected. Um, where to begin?"
I'm biting my lip, now not sure I even want to hear this shit. So Dodger joined the Army, I'm willing to leave it at that. Who cares why? No matter what he tells me, it won't change anything, right? I'm looking at him while smelling the back of my wrist unconsciously. "Well it's like this," he begins, "It got to be like the perfect storm of circumstances pushing me past the tipping point, and I went ahead and signed up for a two year hitch in the Army. No high school degree, no more fun as a kid, no chance to be a big-deal senior, no more cushy home life. Huh, no more Vinnie either, or fun with you, you sexy thing. I had second thoughts and regrets initially, but what was done was done, and there was Connor to look after too. What the fuck, I jumped in with both feet and made the best of it." I nod my head knowing he's going to tell me what this 'perfect storm of circumstances' consisted of. He wants to tell somebody and now it's me he'll tell for reasons unknown. Maybe he's trying to justify his decision, or he wants me to tell him I understand and that I'd do the same thing in his place. Or maybe it's not that at all. And, I'll bet I'm not the first one to hear this. Anyway, I wait silently, not wanting to break his train of thought, and I'm curious again... I wasn't earlier, but now I am.
He lights a cigarette, so I do too. Smoke drifts out of his mouth, as he says, "I've always been in Robby's shadow ya know, all my life. Robby and me have obviously always been close. Tight in the sense you and Chubby are tight. Rob and I were more demonstrative about it then you two, and I'm referring to our sex together. It was instigated by my brother, by the way. We had more than a few guilt trips about it, but that's another story. Or maybe it's part of this story because I'd been wanting to discontinue the incest for awhile. Ugly word, incest, huh? Anyway, I'd become concerned about having sex with my brother, and then you and my brother came out as gays, right? So I put that conversation, the incest one, on a back burner. It's like you were both making this grand announcement that had everyone enthralled. You're gay and you're boyfriends, and everyone's like whoop-de-doo aren't you two something. Everyone pretending to admire you two for having the guts to tell the world. That's fine, except it sort of left me hanging out there by the balls in my own little world. I thought the three of us were tight in our gay secret. Robby told me beforehand he was coming out. My less than enthusiastic approval for the idea, my pleas that he not do this now, went right over his head of course because it's all about Rob, and to a much lesser degree, you. Not wanting to seem petty, I let it slide and joined everyone with the universal endorsement of: 'Ain't this just about the best thing ever? What a fucking cute couple!' Oh yeah, everyone claimed it was so
sweet. My family took solace in the fact it was you Robby was ga ga over. Oh, it's Dylan Newman, Rob's boyfriend, that wonderful boy, Dylan. That helped my parents swallow the idea of their golden child being gay. They put up a good front unlike your mom who didn't need to put up a front. She was sincerely happy for you because you seemed happy, that's what she cared about. Right away I was suspicious my parents were showing mostly a false front . I was hoping I was wrong and then I overheard them talking. I eavesdropped knowing it was sneaky of me to do that, but fuck it, I did it anyway. I told myself it's awful if they can't support Rob, but maybe I also wanted to hear they weren't as thrilled about it as they pretended to be." He shakes his head and flicks half of a cigarette over the balcony railing, muttering, "And I don't know why the fuck I'm sounding bitter, because I'm not feeling that way. Sorry if I'm coming across like that."
He looks at me for a few seconds, so I mutter, "Oh, no need to be sorry, Dodger. Hell, I can put myself in your position and imagine Chubby and some guy announcing they're gay and in love. I'd feel devastated and left out too. Huh, I never gave that a thought, but now you make me wonder if Chubby might feel the way you do." Dodger says, "No, he doesn't. I talked to him about it for two hours on the phone a couple of days after your announcement. In our conversation all I detected from him is his love for you and his happiness that you're happy. I'm not as, um, I don't have a heart like Chubby's. He cares about you above all else where I care about me above all else. It took me awhile to realize that I'm a bit narcissistic like that. And my brother is too. There was lots of soul searching by me after Chubby's and my phone conversation, with my admiration for him knowing no bounds now, but I wasn't too pleased with myself. I concluded I'm not as good a person as your brother, but I don't totally suck as a person either. Jealous of you and Rob, sure. It's something I need to deal with somehow, and acknowledging that's a flaw in my makeup is a good first step towards trying to be better... whatever." I go, "Don't beat yourself up, Dodger. You're an awesome person." He looks at me, then grins, muttering, "I'll hold you to that later, ya know." I shrug, not at all sure what the fuck that means. He asks, "Um, didn't Chubby say anything to you about what he and I talked about for those two hours?" I shake my head, "No, and I'm a little pissed-off about that too." He mumbles, "Don't be. I made Chubby give me his word he wouldn't say anything. I was embarrassed I felt the way I did, but why lie to myself. I was really hurt that Rob would leave me behind like that, you too." He lights another cigarette as I digest the fact Chubby kept that conversation from me. Yeah, but that would be Chubby alright. He gave his word to Dodger, so that was that. Also, I'll bet the fact Chubby knew I'd be upset if I was aware Dodger was hurting so badly... that'd be another reason Chubby wouldn't tell me. He would want to shield me from that, so he'd keep what he and Dodger talked about to himself and he would have whether he gave his word or not. He knew it would put a damper on things if I found out how Dodger was hurting. It upsets me now too, so I say, "I don't think you had much of a different reaction than I'd have if the situations were reversed. There's nothing wrong with thinking about yourself, um, to a degree."
Dodger takes a deep breath, "I'm glad you don't think I'm a shit for thinking about me. I mean, I wanted Rob to be happy, so I don't know... I didn't know what to think. I guess it was immaturity. Everything gets blamed on that anyway, so why not blame immaturity for my reaction." We smoke for a minute, then I ask, "Um, if you don't mind telling me, what'd you overhear from your parents?" He takes a deep breath, then says, "The gist of it was they were shocked and disappointed that Rob's gay, as if he had much to do about it." I notice Dodger's gone back to calling his brother 'Rob' like he did for fifteen years until I came along calling him Robby. Dodger adopted that and I remember thinking it was cute he switched to calling him Robby like me. He continues, "Both mom and dad were asking each other what will our grandparents think, and what will the neighbors say? And should they tell my aunt and uncles. As if that matters, so I was pissed at them too. Oh, they were also concerned someone would think it was their fault Rob turned out gay. How fucking ignorant and self-centered is that? Their reaction seemed petty to me, and it disappointed me they'd have misguided concerns like that instead of concerns Rob would be okay with being gay. So, now I was pissed and disappointed at Rob and my parents, and my relatives who might disapprove of Rob's sexual orientation too. That anyone else would secretly disapprove the way my parents disapproved made thoughts of me ever coming 'out' unlikely. Yep, there's that minor matter of me being gay too. 'Me' again, right? I'm worried about me again. What the fuck? Am I supposed to stay in the closet all my life? Robby got his, but what about me? Then the last straw of the perfect storm was when Robby announces to me he proposed marriage to you, and you accepted." I look up, "Um, Dodger, that's a Robby thing, he's a romantic. We don't tell people we're engaged because, ah, not too many would take it seriously. It's, um... a Robby thing, like I said."
Dodger's like, "And why is it no one would take it seriously, huh? Oh, and I believe you have an engagement ring someplace too, and in Rob's mind everything is hunky dory and everyone lives happily ever after. I'm gonna be the best man at the wedding that will happen at some nebulous time in the far future, what a fucking honor! Rob's brother, deep in the closet, gets to be best man at his gay brother's wedding. What's wrong with that picture? That's just swell!" I don't know what to say, Dodger seems hurt and pissed-off. He shrugs, then says, "After Rob told me about it, he's like, 'Aren't you happy for me, Dodger?' He wants me to jump up and down telling him what an awesome ballsy brother I have. Ain't it so fucking cool, aren't I the coolest thing?" I cringe, "Robby, probably wasn't thinking that, Dodger." He's venting though, muttering, "For me, honestly, the whole thing gave me the creeps. Are you two fucking kidding? Engaged to be married in two or three years, um, that is if you two both stop fucking around on the side. Getting engaged is totally idiotic! Anyway, I thought to myself, fuck this! And then I was supposed to work all summer with Robby being the big bad boss and everyone kissing his ass. No thank you, I needed to get the fuck away from everything. And so I did. I didn't tell anyone except Vinnie, who got fucking hysterical of course, so I felt like shit about that too. It all blew! I blew too!" He's shaking his head, flipping his hand like, 'oh forget it'! Oh man, Dodger's pissed, maybe at himself. Oops, there goes another half smoked cigarette over the railing. Dodger flinging it way out there. After a deep breath, he quietly asks, "Could you get us a couple more beers, Dylan... please?" I nod my head, and mutter, "Sure, Dodger," and I thankfully skip on outta there. Jesus! I can use a break from that angst, but poor Dodger. He thought everything and everybody was against him. I can see how things ganged up on him, and I feel bad I never gave him a thought. I assumed the brothers were as tight as Chubby and me and each would be happy for the other. But nobody's as tight as Chubby and me. Normal relationships have jealousy and a certain contempt that can develop, and in this case contempt happened without anyone but Dodger being aware of it. Dodger kept up his normal front right up until that first day on the job, so how could anyone guess he was distressed? I feel so sorry for him, but even so he didn't need to join the Army! Connor had to join, but not Dodger. I wish Dodger had told me all this before he signed up. Maybe I could have talked him out of it somehow, except I was part of what distressed him so much.
Smelling the back of my hand, I take my time going up the steps to Chubby's and Tris' condo. Retrieving the key from the mailbox, I'm wondering why's Dodger telling me all this now. I mean it's after the fact, so does he want me to feel bad? Is that it? That doesn't seem like something Dodger would have as a motive. I guess I know why he isn't telling Robby, but Vinnie's probably heard it all before me, maybe Connor too, but why me now? Oh, maybe Dodger partly blames me? Is he trying to say it's my fault there's this grand canyon of a rift in Dodger's mind between him and Robby? I grab four more beers, change the 4 to a 8 in my IOU, and carry the bottles of beer back to my place. I don't know what the fuck to think. This isn't the reunion I had in mind at all. Dodger's emails didn't give a hint about any of this, so I'm blind sided by everything. When I'm on the balcony again, Dodger's standing at the railing with his back to me as he is looking out at the parking spaces behind each of the first floor condos, and then turns, looking over at the condos behind us. He turns around, saying, "Not too much of a view, huh?" I pass him a beer, mumbling, "I don't even notice it after all these years. We have a nice view of trees off the balcony at college though. You should visit." He nods his head, then takes a long gulp of beer. We sit down again and Dodger starts right in, "So, right or wrong, I ran from everything that was bothering me and joined the Army. I'd been toying with the idea ever since you guys 'came out' so the recruiter was just waiting for me to sign on the dotted line. I had to turn eighteen first, of course... there was that little detail." I go, "Huh, we're you scared?" He shakes his head, "Nope, I wasn't scared so much as apprehensive. Also I knew I was being reactionary, but fuck it, I did it anyway."
We drink our beer in silence for a minute, then Dodger says, "Are you aware Rob's had an obsession about you for years?" I go, "Uh huh, he to told me that recently. How's, um, your relationship with Robby now and, um, your parents?" He says, "I don't know how I feel now that some time has passed, but they don't know anything about any of what I've told you. Rob probably thinks we're tight as ever and I don't want to cause stress in the family during my two weeks leave. I know Rob love me in his way, but he takes me for granted too. My parents have been fantastic parents, in my opinion, right up till I heard them bitching about Rob being gay. Me being gay obviously makes me sensitive to that kind of backward thinking.They were thinking of themselves mostly, and I'm under the impression parents should think first of the kids they brought into this world. They were mostly concerned that Rob being gay would reflect badly on them. Maybe that's normal, and to their credit they've kept it to themselves and have never given Rob a clue there's any major concern on their part. Fuck, maybe there isn't by now. Maybe they've come to accept it and it was just an initial reaction that wasn't very, um, honorable or parent-like, or whatever. Anyway I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt." I shrug, "It's not my place to say, but maybe you should give Robby the benefit of the doubt too, or at least talk to him about your feelings." He goes, "That brings me to what I really wanted to talk you about. The reason I'm telling you all this background drama." I nod my head, "And what's that?" He says, "It's simple, and it's incredibly complicated at the same time. The simple part is that you're making a very serious mistake expecting you and Rob to last as a couple long term. It won't work, you're with the wrong Dickers brother for one thing. Simple common sense should tell you that." I laugh, "Oh, right! I've been going with your brother for three wonderful years and it's a mistake. You call that simple?" Dodger goes, "I know, I know, don't get pissed off at me, at least until you've had a chance to think about what I have to say."
I'm really disappointed in Dodger. I say, "You're pissed off at Robby because he came 'out' as gay and then your parents didn't like it, so how the fuck are you ever going to ever come out, right? They're upset one of their boys are gay, so now you're wondering how the hell they'd handled both their sons being gay? That's your concern number one. Or maybe concern number one is you feel you've always been in Robby's shadow, which isn't Robby's fault. It might not even be true, as it's your misconception of the way people generally think about you. I've never heard a single comment from anyone in my life to indicate you're in Robby's shadow. If anything, guys I know think you're the hot-shit brother and Robby's the goody-two-shoes one, whatever the fuck that actually means, but we know what it implies. Then Robby and me get engaged with nobody except you and Chubby knowing about it, and you felt left out, or ignored, or slighted somehow." He says, "Chubby thinks it's stupid too, not just me, and it's not just because he and I are basically left out either. It's that you're making a life altering mistake and I'm worried about you because of that. Dylan, I agonized about mentioning all of the things I've said to you. It hurts me to disparage Rob, I love him, but that doesn't mean he's perfect. He's wrong about his obsession with you and it'll end up hurting both of you. I care about him, and you too." I say, "First of all, you said Chubby thinks the engagement is stupid. He didn't say that to me in so many words, but it amounted to the same thing. But never mind what Chubby thinks right now. I agree he thinks it's silly, as most people who might hear about it would. I think it's silly myself, but it made Robby so happy I decided to think it's sweet instead of silly. It's innocent and naive of Robby, but sweet too." Dodger says, "Yeah, well you happen to be one of only a few guys on earth who wouldn't have laughed right in Rob's face and told him to get real." I yell, "I decided it was sweet!" and Dodger goes, "You're the one who's sweet, Dylan. You're too nice to burst Rob's bubble. But you're missing the more important point and it's that my brother's not right for you. He's not who you need to spend your life with. Do you plan on pretending things are 'sweet' all you're life? Fooling yourself, pretending so you don't hurt his feeling, talking yourself into thinking Rob's the ideal type of individual you've always wanted for your partner? Is that your plan?" I frown at him, "We're working on making a perfect relationship, but it takes time."
More beer guzzling, then Dodger takes a deep breath, and says, "I'm saying everything all fucked up. I should have organized my thoughts better. It's clearer in my head when I think about it, but harder to articulate. Love complicates everything, but is it really love? Did you know Rob's been thinking and planning for years how to get you tied to him? He's been telling me about it in our talks at night for the past four or fives years, or at least he used to. When I started questioning his motives a few months ago, he talked to me about his plans less and less. He's been trying everything he could come up with to somehow secure you to him. It's all he talked about until the last couple of months before I enlisted. He'd become convinced I thought he was wrong to lure you in with false promises, or promises he can't back up. And he's right, that's what I think, it's fucking wrong! He'd go online all the time searching for the answer to finding true love. He'll do anything you know, and frankly it's an unnatural behavior for anyone to be obsessive, never mind that he began his so-called quest at age fifteen. The whole idea is, ah, it's weird. Yeah, it's weird to be so obsessed with someone the way he is with you. And you're aware of his temper, right? All the things I'm telling you may seem terrible of me, but I swear to God I'm not dumping on my brother for the sake of just dumping on him. I've got to convince you it's worth considering that you're being pushed into something that you're not prepared for. You need to think about backing off a little, but don't do anything abrupt or he might explode and lose his temper. A temper he can't control, especially where you're concerned. He's told me about a few things he's done because of his obsession with you, and some things he almost did, that scared me."
I'm staring at him with my tongue in my cheek, beginning to think Dodger's pulling my leg. To test my theory, I grin at him, asking, "Are you bullshitting me with all this cloak and dagger stuff, you cute bastard?" He does a long exhale, shaking his head side to side slowly. Looking at me, he calmly says, "I can understand how you'd think I'm delusional and irrational, but think about what I've said. I told you the reasons I felt I needed to get away. Maybe I was rash and stupid, but I'm glad I did it because it's helped me grow up, and because of Connor too. He needed my support initially, but he adapted quickly after a shaky start." And he continues off topic a little, maybe because he doesn't think I'm taking him seriously. I don't know how I'm taking him to be honest, but now I'm sure he's not just goofing on me, he's quite serious. He's so sincere, which again isn't the Dodger I know, so I don't know what to think. He's saying, "The fact Connor and I are both going to Fort Sam Houston blew us away. It was totally unexpected. The guys in our barracks are being assigned to Army bases all over the fucking place, but we get to stay together. So that's a good thing, but I'm worried about you and Rob. It's causing me to worry too much and I can't appreciate my good fortune." He stares at me, then smiles, and says, "Connor's a great guy, don't ya think?" I mutter, "Of course I do." Dodger goes, "It might sound like it's all about me, but I swear to God it isn't. My brother and my awesome friend are going to fuck each other up sooner or later." I mumble, "No we're not."
We drink some beer, then Dodger shrugs, and in a resigned manner, asks, "First off, do you at least agree I had valid reasons to join the Army?" I say, "No, I don't, but I understand why you thought you did." He shrugs and then lights another cigarette, and says, "Okay, so we partially agree with that, or agree to disagree, or whatever. The next part about you and Robby; do you think anything I've said makes sense?" I mumble, "I guess, but you said your jealous of your brother so maybe that is clouding your thinking," and he says, "Yes, I am jealous, but that doesn't change the fact that it's silly you two got engaged, or the disturbing aspects of him being fanatical about you for five years now. That's abnormal behavior." I shrug, "I already agreed the engagement's a little silly, but what's the harm in it?" Dodger's being calm, "The harm, Dylan, is that Rob is step by step getting you to commit to him, and there will come a time when you'll feel obligated to the degree you can't get out of it no matter if you want to or not. That's his goal as Rob's stated to me many times. I've only taken it seriously the past few months, and the engagement was like a warning light to me. It indicated Rob's plan is picking up serious steam and that concerns me. I care about you, I love you. Rob's following a step by step process to make you his forever and I think it's being driven by the wrong motivation. It wouldn't work on anyone less nice than you, and you already told me you wouldn't think of hurting his feelings, which he depends on." I'm frowning, "I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, not just Robby's." He goes, "You're too nice and too trusting. You wouldn't even think to say to him, in a nice joking way, that the engagement is silly even though you know it is in fact silly, or worse. No matter what he suggested, he knew he'd eventually maneuver you into a position where you wouldn't want to disappoint him. And you're the kind of person who will talk himself into believing what Rob says because, again, you don't want to hurt his feelings. Do you really want the life he has outlined for you. Being a stay at home dad doing Rob's bidding? He told me all about it when he told me about the engagement. My mouth dropped open when I heard all his bullshit. I thought he was fucking kidding so I laughed at first. When I realized he was dead serious, that's when I became worried about you, and during my time at basic I decided I'm going to try to do something about it by at least talking to you. Give you my brother's side of things. He sees it as a challenge he's determined to win, but without thinking what you might want." I say, "He's always trying to please me," and Dodger says, "Yes, temporarily and then he comes right back to his plan and he's wearing you down so slowly you don't even realize it. Rob's not a bad person so much as he's caught up in an obsession."
I'm staring at him again, probably with a look of incredulousness on my face. Dodger looks away, then mumbles, "Yeah, it even sounds a little nuts to me, especially me talking about Rob like this as if he's my enemy. I know conspiracy theories are usually lame, unless they happen to be real. I don't blame you for looking at me like I've got anterior motives though, I hope I'm totally wrong although that would mean Rob's been bullshitting me for the better part of five years. Where you're concerned, I mean." He rubs his hand across his cute, concerned face, then looks at me, and says, "Look, my brother, who I love dearly, has become totally fanatical where you're concerned. Fanaticism is rarely a good thing because it distorts clear thinking and it totally ignores reality. It's excessive, um, he has an irrational devotion for getting you to love him the exact way he thinks you should love him." I go, "Do you think he doesn't love me?" Dodger goes, "Oh, he loves you, but it's an obsession too. An obsession to fulfill the fantasies of you he had when he was fifteen years old. HeIl, I don't know which is stronger for Rob, his love for you or his obsession to fulfill his fifteen year old fantasy of you and him. Which is the stronger emotion? He doesn't know I'll bet, and he does not like it when he can't have what he wants, and he hates to lose. It pains me to say this, but I'm worried he might do something none of us wants to see him do. Some kind of horrible choice he might make if things don't go the way he wants. Let's say you continue playing along with him for too long, and then at some point you decide you don't want to play the game Robby's way any longer... what then?" I say, "Now you've really gone off the deep end, Dodger! Robby would never think of hurting me." He mumbles, "I certainly hope not."
We drink beer for two minutes in silence, avoiding eye contact. I can't think where to go with this bizarre conversation. Huh, and it doesn't look like Dodger's willing to go on with it further anyway, which I should be glad about. Yeah, but now, for some reason, I'm morbidly intrigued. Maybe something he's said struck a chord with me, although I'm not sure what it was. In any case, I ask, "Are you saying I'm hypnotized somehow by Robby's step by step approach to making me all his? Um, that question sound silly, doesn't it?" His eyebrows go up, "Hey, maybe it is a form of hypnotism. I don't really know, but if someone tells you something over and over and over, and you'd like to believe it's true, finally you'll believe it. Robby's been telling you that you and him were made for each other for so long, for over three years now, that you've come to believe it. Hell, you may even love him, but how can you be sure it's love and not brainwashing?" I laugh, "I was fucking around with you by mentioning the hypnotism thing, and now you've elevated it to brainwashing." He holds up his hands, "I surrender. I've done a horrible job of getting across what I wanted to get you to think about. It sounds like I've got nothing on my mind except undermining Rob, and that's not what I'm about. Simple put, I'm worried about you. I'm seriously worried about my brother too, but you're the innocent party, not him. And anyway, simply put, you're too young to be engaged and my brother isn't the right guy for you in the first place." I ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because you should be with someone exactly like me. They're the two major points I want to leave you with. I've got everything my brother's got and a little bit more. I'm naturally the take charge type, or the dominant type, if you prefer that terminology. Rob's not, not even close. Not even as captain of the baseball team in high school where he barely exerted authority." I go, "He was authoritative as captain." Dodger says, "That's not what his teammates said. Anyway Rob's told me about all the times you've encouraged him to be 'the man' and of course he tries his ass off to be that for you. It's phony though, and you both know it. So, the situation is you're too young to be engaged, and too old to be playing at a fantasy love game. Let me ask you this: has he ever said to you something like... both of you know he's not the boss, that it's actually you?" I frown, recalling Robby saying that as recent as yesterday, but I mutter, "I don't remember him saying that, no." He goes, "Oh come on, Dylan, he's told me that himself." I go, "So what's wrong if he tries to live up to my image of a dominant partner?" Dodger
says, "Because it can't last. It'll fizzle out to nothing when push comes to shove. Then where are you?"
Nothing for me to do now except light a cigarette and open this other beer. I do that, muttering, "You and me are gonna be drunk for your welcome home cookout, ya know." He chuckles, "Yeah. Listen, I know it probably seems on the surface that I'm making a play for you by putting down Rob, um, Robby." I interrupt, "You switched to calling him Rob, why's that?" He grins, "I don't know why I did that, Dylan. What I want to say is, sure I'd love to have you for my boyfriend, but lets face it, I'm not gonna be here for two years. Any besides that, it's never been my motivation to become your replacement boyfriend for Robby, please believe me. You, as someone I've come to love as a friend, you are my motivation for bringing all this, um, unpleasantness to your attention. It's like I need to know in my heart I tried to get you to think about the things I've said. Robby isn't right for you! Someone like me is right for you, but sadly for me it can't be me because I'm not here. Heh heh, if you're looking for someone two years from now though, please give me a chance. Other than that, do me a favor, do yourself a favor, and test what I've told you. Think about it at least. You've just turned twenty years old, what the fuck are you thinking about? Is it being a stay at home dad? Hell, tell Robby what I've said if you want. See what his reaction is. Think about what he eventually wants for you, and be brutally honest with yourself. Is it what you want, all fairytale endings aside. Like I said, he told me his plan is to have you be his stay at home domestic partner, or whatever the fuck it's called. That way he keeps you out of sight so other gay guys won't have a chance to win you away from him. He wants you secluded so you depend exclusively on him while he's out living a life. That's no life for you, Dylan. And it won't last either. Back away a little and see what happens, don't get in any deeper than you are now. He'll have you physiologically tied to him before you know it, and it won't be good for either of you. Maybe you and my brother will eventually get married and be happy, but not under Robby's plan for you. No fucking way can that work! Not if your goal is to be happy and not secretly miserable. Talk to your brother, do something! Stop being a lamb led to slaughter. That's all I'll say, Dylan, and thank you for being your usual considerate self by putting up with me saying things you likely don't want to hear. Just think about it, okay? And, um, I love you too, so if you decide you simply must have the Dickers last name, you've got an awesome option." That was a last ditch effort to lighten things up by Dodger I suppose. I pat his shoulder, nodding my head, which tells him nothing. Why should I let him know what I'm thinking when I don't know myself.
We both drink from our bottles at the same time. Oops, my cigarette has burned down to the filter so I flick it and it goes right off Dodger's forehead. He gives me a 'look', then grins muttering, "Was it something I said?" We both laugh because we both are well aware I suck at flicking cigarette butts. Draining our beers, Dodger stands up, saying, "Give me a hug so I know you don't hate me." We hug and he kisses me on the lips, "Sorry if I ruined an otherwise awesome reunion, Dylan. I love you, dude, and I care about you. I care about Robby too, but this path you're following will be disastrous for both of you. The two guys I love most in the world might fuck up each others lives." I give him a squeeze, saying, "You're forgetting Vinnie." We step apart and Dodger shrugs, "Vinnie's already got himself another fuck buddy. He's not the robot you might think he is. You knew he was an 'A' student, right?" I nod my head, "Yeah, although it's hard to believe." Dodger says, "Well, he is. Yep, my little Pisano misses me, but he's branching out. I've been encouraging him to hook up with someone he likes, and last week he finally did it." We're walking through the apartment heading for the cellar steps. Dodger goes, "He wanted to be able to tell me he did what I said," and Dodger chokes up a little when he said that. Awkward, but I ask, "Who's he hooking up with?" Dodger chuckles, "Some senior at school. Some kid Vinnie says reminds him of me. Flattering until Vinnie showed me a pic of the guy on his cell phone. I thought, 'Fuck, that's what Vinnie thinks I look like? Holly shit!' Ha ha, yeah, I love Vinnie too, you're right, Dylan. The three guys I love most. Vinnie's a part of my life I've valued and loved, but had to sacrifice to get away. It hurts, to tell you the truth, but it's not right to expect him to wait two years for me. A lot of things change in two years."
We walk though the finished basement and out the door to where Dodger parked his pickup. The sun is still bright and it's reassuring to realize the world's still churning along. Dodger says, "I hope I haven't fucked up our relationship, Dylan. My conscience made me say the things to you I felt in my heart and mind. No malicious intentions, please believe me." I squeeze the back of his neck, mumbling, "I believe you and, um, thanks for your concern about me and your brother.' He hugs my shoulders, "I promise not to bother you with this again, word of honor." I ask, "Hey, um, I've got a question." He goes, "Shoot," and I ask, "Do ya wanna tell me what you did with the Dodger who screwed me in the pool when he was a babe, that Dodger?" He laughs, "I'm here, Dylan, same as ever, but older. Maybe a little more introspective too, but that's the sorta thing that's bound to happen when we grow up." He smiles at me, then mutters, "Always remember I love you, Dylan," and he gets in the pickup. He starts the engine, looks at me and he now he has wet eyes as he waves and backs up. A squeal of his tires as he does his usual jackrabbit start, and he's gone leaving me with a head full of... of what?
to be continued... Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com
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I have had two books published that are available on Amazon. Actually one book and one short story. The short story is titled "Concealed Agony - Gay Romance" (and I didn't pick that title.) Read the short story first. And the book is named "Oliver's Wildwood Vacation" They are both about 'Oliver'. You can easily find them by searching for 'Donny Mumford' at the Amazon web site.
And I would appreciate it if you would provide a comment at the site for the stories as well.
Thanks.
Donny Mumford
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