Dylan's Sophomore Year

DYLAN'S SOPHOMORE YEAR

Chapter 31

by Donny Mumford

TWO MONTHS LATER:

I'm in our Jeep driving east on route 9 to connect with route 128 N heading back to college. It's a little after one o'clock on the Saturday afternoon following our Thanksgiving break. As for my roommates, Robby's staying with his family another day and Chubby's dozing off in the seat next to me. He's hung over from partying every night we were home on break. Well, it was only three nights, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, but he's still managed to accumulate a massive hangover. I'm glad he's sleeping because I need this time to think. I've got some things I need to think about, like Robby and me arguing the past two months for one thing. There are other things too. Avoiding another disagreement with Robby is the reason I'm driving back with Chubby today instead of with Robby on Sunday. We had a disagreement about that already, but I'm pretty sure he'd come up with a new disagreement during the ride back with him. There's been some puzzling things happening in my life these past eight or nine weeks that I can't continue ignoring. Certainly not the way I've been ignoring them up till now. They're not all bad things. Various things about guys and side-sex, plus Robby and me. The question I need to answer is: what am I going to do about these nagging concerns, if anything.

Robby and I haven't been seeing eye to eye on everything for a while now. We aren't having screaming fights so much as disagreements and differences of opinion. He's been ragging on me about a number of things, telling me, 'Shape the hell up and act your age'. That basically sums up his point of view. Mine is basically, "Lighten the fuck up, Rob, we just turned twenty years old a couple months ago." That's my point of view. Plus he's been annoyingly curious about anything and everything I do with anyone other than him. He wants to know: Where I've been, who was I with, and what did I do, and why did I do it? That kind of interrogation. It's the kinda thing that gets old pretty fuckin' fast. He tells me when he's my husband, and those are his words not mine, I'll be expected to discuss these kinds of things with him since he's the head of the household. I wish I never coined that phrase! I'll be expected, as his wife I suppose, to advise him where I'm going and with whom because married couples don't keep, or want to keep secrets from each other. His point being I might as well start practicing that behavior right about now. He doesn't raise his voice very often, but he has at times and he can get scary when he's really pissed-off about something. I think a lot of this behavior of his is actually my fault. I sorta brought it on myself by encouraging him to be 'in charge'. In charge of us, and I encouraged him to make decisions for us too. I didn't want to be bothered with all that, and I guess it's a case of laziness on my part and a way for me to put

things off. Guess I favored procrastinating above making decisions myself and so now we've got disagreements about some of the decisions made by Robby. This is a classic case of me not being careful about what I wish for. That kinda shit.

I shouldn't be surprised that Robby's being extremely conscientious about 'being in charge'. I mean, once he sets his mind to something he's like that about it, and in our case the 'it' is the 'take charge part' he's focused on completely. Also he's finally become very comfortable doing that. When I

complain that he's too controlling he throws it back in my face that I've been telling him to be 'the man in charge' for three years now, so what am I bellyaching about? Huh, yeah, he's got a point there I guess. Plus I was warned of this scenario developing. Yep, a couple of months ago I was warned by both Robby's brother and my own brother, but I thought I knew best. I suck apparently about knowing what's best. Now my 'wish' that's come true isn't doing Robby or me any favors. He doesn't recognize that fact of course, it's me that's the problem in Robby's mind and since he's 'in charge' he needs to fix me. The complicating factor, as I mentioned, is he's come to relish his role, becoming sterner and sterner about it. Ironic too considering the fact he avoided taking charge most of the time during the three-plus years we've been together.

The latest argument between us was Robby insisting I be part of tomorrow's Sunday family dinners at his house. He's dragged me to a few Sunday dinners over the last couple of months and I found them to be stifling affairs with questions galore being asked of me. Then during a lull in the interrogation Robby tells me to share with 'the family' what happened when I did such and such... whatever my latest mistake was. The Dickers' theory of why this is a helpful tool has been explained to me a number of times by his dad, and then later Robby reiterates everything his dad just told me, except he changes a few words. His dad explains the benefit of sharing misjudgments or mistakes I've made with 'the family', and he does it with infinite patience as if I'm a six years old or a slow learner. The explanation is basically this: Admitting mistakes to 'the family' allows 'the family' to share in each other's lives. Past experiences of someone in the family may also be similar to my mistake and therefore 'the family' can help work out the best solution together. All very serious business without a bunch of yuck's thrown in. Life is serious business to the Dickers and I guess parts of it is, but is that all there is? Another small detail they seem to overlook is... I'm not a fuckin' member of 'the family'! Just a minor detail. Anyway I rejected Robby's invitation to join 'the family' for this Sunday's dinner on the grounds I just had Thanksgiving dinner with 'the family' two fuckin' nights ago. Robby had told me on the way home from college last Wednesday afternoon that he and I are starting a tradition where we'll have Thanksgiving dinner with both families. Christmas dinners too. To accommodate this my mom agreed to have our Thanksgiving dinner at one o'clock so that the Dickers can have their traditional seven o'clock Thanksgiving dinner. Ignored by Robby is the fact my family always has had our Thanksgiving dinner in the evening too. When I mentioned this small nugget to Robby, he said, "Yeah, baby, I'm sorry about that, but I'm gonna have to pull rank on you this time". He actually said that, and naturally the peacekeeper, me, gave in and asked mom to do the dinner at one o'clock. It would have been even more awkward if it were Tris' turn for the dinner at her place this year.

Mom and Tris bust their ass twice a year fixing the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners together, usually with Chubby and me on the sidelines grinning at each other and rolling our eyes at the clatter of pots and pans and mayhem in the kitchen during their preparation of these meals. We eat out on Easter because the moms need to recover from the two previous major dinner preparations. Usually they invite two or three of the single waitresses from the restaurant the moms work at. That holds true for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. Women who's families are out of town and therefore would otherwise be eating alone, I guess. Chubby and me need to entertain the ladies while the moms do the cooking. That's our family's tradition and Chubby does most of the entertaining which is fun for me to watch. Chubby's awesome! This year Robby joined us for the one o'clock Thanksgiving dinner at our house along with two waitresses as additional guests. He was perfectly fine without a single problem, I thought. Well, except Robby and Chubby have been a little cool towards each other for a couple of months now. Not enemies, but there's a little resentment I sense they're feeling for one another. It has to do with me, but that's something else apart from this Thanksgiving. Their feelings for each other is one of the things I've been ignoring and need to think about, by the way.

As usual the moms made a mess in the kitchen working at the dinner twice as hard as should be necessary, but it always comes out really good in the end. Lots of cookbook reading every year as they're making the various dishes

and they always make much more of everything than we could possibly eat, but it's a good time. Lots of self deprecating humor by the moms and lots of

chuckles to go with the favorable reviews of the food by me and my brother. The invited guests heap praise on the moms too of course. It's kinda cute and always fun. Huh, I just remembered an Easter dinner at a restaurant a few years back when the moms invited a busboy from the restaurant to join us. He was estranged from his family for some reason. I forget why. It was around the time fat Carl was fucking me and generally introducing me to the ways of gay sex. That bus boy was the first kid I lusted over other than Carl. Back then I'd just realized recently I was gay and finally understood why I was especially interested in some boys. Thanks to fat Carl I knew these thing by the time I met this busboy of course, but I didn't know how to go about seeing if the cute busboy was also interested in me. He might have just been a cock teaser or he might have been making fun of me, but he gave me a lot of attention and I was totally smitten by him. I haven't thought about him in like two years. Huh, can't even remember his name now. He had the cutest sexy grin though. Holy shit, what was his name?

Anyway, back to this Thanksgiving dinner at my place. After Thanksgiving a couple of nights ago, Robby and me left my condo at around five o'clock to drive to his house. He was annoyed because I kept thinking up reasons for staying at my place longer. He wanted to leave at a certain time and go to his house. Wednesday, during the drive home he'd told me, "Seriously, Dylan, we gotta be leaving your place no later than four and preferably three-thirty." Well because of my stalling tactics we didn't leave until five o'clock so I got a lecture during the drive to his house. The gist of the lecture was me being selfish and unfair for staying with my family the extra hour or so. He also wasn't happy with my behavior, "Dylan, I love you like life itself, but baby, do you have to get into those silly juvenile giggling fits with your brother? I mean, your mom and Jeff's mom were doing their best fixing the dinner. Frankly I thought you two were being very rude and I was embarrassed by your behavior. I'll say no more, but come on, babe, act your age." He must think my age is forty instead of twenty, and we were not in a giggling fit. Chubby and I were chuckling about the mom's use of every pot, pan, and platter from both our condos. It was good natured fun that the moms joined in on. It's called having fun and enjoying yourself. That's our fucking Thanksgiving tradition, Rob.

Anyway, during the Dickers' Thanksgiving dinner we were all required to standup in turn and say what we're grateful for this past year. That was news to me and I wasn't prepared. I thought my fucking face would burst into flames I was blushing so hard reciting the made-up things I'm grateful for. I didn't know we'd be doing this and I noticed some of 'the family', Robby included, had thought about it in advance and written the things they were gonna say on three by five cards. Cheat sheets. I had flop sweat by the time I was through making shit up. I suppose at Christmas dinner we'll each have to standup and recite our favorite gifts, or maybe recite the good deeds we've done in the spirit of Christmas. Jesus, I better not give them any ideas! The dinner was good, but I think Chubby's and my mom did a better job overall and I'm not just saying that because they're my family. Their food was simply better. After dinner, while his mom and Robby's aunt cleaned up the kitchen the men retired to the den, but not for cigars and brandy or whatever. Robby, his dad, his uncle, and me watched the late NFL game. The whole game his uncle and dad never stopped talking about their businesses, both seemingly trying to outdo the success of the other. They're brothers so I guess sibling rivalry has a long shelf life. Robby would chime in at times about the new plans for his and his dad's business and a few times I thought I was gonna scream from boredom. The football game was lopsided too so that wasn't even interesting. Earlier at my place before Thanksgiving dinner we had beers and then glasses of wine with dinner which helps everyone's mood. Only one glass of wine at Robby's with the dinner, and that was it for the booze offered to Rob and me. The adults had cocktails before and after dinner. I was dying for a beer and a cigarette.

I guess I'm just bitching to myself, or venting, or whatever the fuck I'm doing. I'm certainly not resolving anything. Oh, and then Robby's got another lecture for me while driving me home that night after a couple of excruciatingly boring couple of hours listening to the three businessmen bullshit each other. He says, "Please don't start pouting over this, Dylan. I'm only telling you this because I care about you. Um, well I guess there's no way to sugarcoat this except to come right out and say you were very rude again! This time to my entire family tonight. You hardly said a word and that look on your face most of the time was like you'd rather be anyplace but with us for Thanksgiving. And please, that shit thing you were thankful for! Everyone knew you were being a smart-ass saying you're grateful for having awesome hair. That was just plain mocking my families tradition. Thanksgiving is a holiday to give thanks, serious thanks, not for having good hair. Plus, your hair is always cut so short one would think you hated it instead of being grateful for it." He saw me rolling my eyes, so he added, "I knew you'd pout and act like a little boy, but these things are important matters and need to be said. I'm sorry if you think I'm being a ball-buster, but I'm done overlooking your bad behavior. I just want us to be happy and for you to take things a little more seriously, okay?" He means take serious what he thinks is serious. In other words be like him. When he got no response from me about his latest lecture, he asked me,"Will you at least try making up for your bad behavior tonight during the Sunday family dinner? At least try a little bit during dinner." Oh fuck that!

That's when I told him I wasn't going to have dinner with 'the family' on Sunday, which went over poorly. I made up some bullshit story about helping Chubby with something Saturday and then I got the silent treatment from Robby the rest of the ride home. At the curb below my condo Robby said, like he was doing me a favor, "I'm not mad at you, Dylan, give me a kiss goodnight and we'll talk about this more tomorrow. I love you, babe." I mumbled, "Me too," and we kissed goodnight with Robby holding my head next to his for a few seconds, then giving me another kiss, saying, "Good Thanksgiving day, huh?" Oh brother! The next day was Friday of course. Robby and I had a really good time shopping on black Friday getting some awesome bargains, although we did not talk about me joining him for 'the family' Sunday dinner like he said we would. Just as well. We were shopping on black Friday buying Christmas gifts mostly. He was great all day, laughing and playful like the Robby I fell in love with. That night we ate at Ken's Steakhouse and afterward we had the best lovers sex we'd had in quite a while. We did it in his pickup for old times sake. So a lot of the holiday was good. I guess I need to admit it's an up and down thing with Robby. He tries to do the right thing and he wants me trying to do what he thinks is the right thing too. That's what it boils down to I guess. When saying goodbye Friday night Robby expressed how sorry he was I couldn't see my way through to hanging around for Sunday dinner and then drive back to college with him. In the end he pretended he understood when a brother needs help with something, you help him. As it turned out I needed to help Chubby get his stuff up the steps of our apartment because he was so hung over... heh heh, but that wasn't the bullshit story of helping my brother I made up to tell Robby, it was help though so you know, it isn't qualified as a little white lie.

I know in my heart Robby loves me and I think I'm still in love too, and we can still have awesome lovers sex from time to time, just not as often as we did last summer and right up until a certain weekend two months ago. The September weekend Robby and I had dinner at 'our' restaurant, Dino's Italian Cuisine. I still think Robby's hot, and our sex hasn't suffered too much. It's suffered a little though because maybe it's like we're in a routine now. Not maybe, we are in a routine and sometimes I think Robby's like, 'Oh yeah, it's time to fuck Dylan'. Like that, but maybe I'm imagining things or I'm being paranoid or something. Then sometimes recently he's been making me feel like I'm his child by the way he talks to me. When I complain, he says, 'If you don't want to be treated like a child, don't act like one'. Other times during the past two months or so we'll have these long heart to heart talks that basically turn into lectures by Robby on how I should behave. I give-in a lot of the time and agree with what he's say because I like things to be nice. I agree to things he says even though some of those 'things' are stupid. I mean stupid for guys our age and actually unrealistic and inappropriate for young college guys. He must have read a book on how middle age people need to act and mistakenly thought it was about twenty year old college students. It gets me frustrated. And then a couple of times he wouldn't let me go out drinking with the guys. Ya know, just because he didn't feel like drinking. Well hell, it doesn't necessarily mean I need to stay in. According to him it does though, but he doesn't put it that way. He says something like, Come on, baby, have a quiet night with me. Sit over here next to me and lets snuggle. Stuff like that. If I insist I'm going to Tracy's anyway he gets pissed off and maybe gives me the silent treatment for a day or two. That's fucking awkward since I sleep in the same bed with him. I end up apologizing and making up with him because the silent treatment is a bitch! He doesn't seem to mind it himself, but I sure do which he probably can tell, so he uses that to get his way. I like it when everything is happy and there's laughing and smiling, everything's shit's and giggles. Like that.

As I alluded to, I think I can trace the problems and situations that have occurred the last eight or nine weeks to that weekend in September. Actually it was the second weekend of this semester if I remember correctly. The weekend Robby had the business meeting, that's the one. After that weekend I started seeing things differently. So Robby had some kind of meeting to go to on Saturday and he wanted me with him in Framingham because we'd planned on going to our restaurant, Dino's Italian Cuisine, Saturday night after the meeting. That was the night I tried to put my foot down gently on one or two aspects of Robby's marriage plans for us. That was something like two

months ago so I don't remember exactly how it went down, but I basically asked Robby to consider not having the baby for at least a year after we got married. Ya know, "Just give that some consideration, Rob, I'd really appreciate it." It was casually suggested. I wasn't saying, 'We're not having a baby until I say so!'. It wasn't like that at all, but he started shaking his head slowly like what an idiot I am. He was getting all frustrated and disgusted. He finally told me, his face red, poking his finger on the table with each word that I can't keep changing my mind every fuckin' week. I needed to act more mature and learn to keep my word about important matters like this. He told me we already agreed on everything at least twice so all his plans would stand. Well, hell, after hearing that I wasn't about to mention the other thing I planned on saying. The thing about me not wanting to change my name to his when we're married. Fuck that.

Our so-called lover's dinner turned into Robby listing off every single point he'd outlined about us getting married. Points I'd supposedly already agreed to. I wanted to ask him for a copy of the contract I signed, but I didn't. Then he sarcastically asked me how many of my promises about our marriage plans do I intend trying to back out on? I figured it's a rhetorical question so I just shrugged. Then he went into the tired lament about me basically begging him for three years to be in charge of these matters. He told me he's taking that responsibility seriously which means at times he needs

to pull rank on me. In other words we'll apply for the baby when he said we would, meaning shortly after our honeymoon, end of story! That's become his 'go to' phrase, 'pulling rank'. That's usually followed-up by reminding me again, for the millionth time, it was me who insisted he be in charge of our lives together. "It wasn't my idea, Dylan!" Huh, ya don't say. Hard to argue that point I admit, but do I need it thrown in my fuckin' face every three minutes?! To answer his question about how many of his plans for our marriage I wanted to back out on, I should have said, 'About half of them, maybe a little more than half'. I didn't of course because our lovers dinner hadn't got off on the right foot as it was. We had sex after dinner in the locker room like we planned, telling each other we're sorry, and Robby saying, "I've had a stressful day, Dylan, sorry I snapped at you. I love you and of course we can certainly talk about everything in time. Nothing is set in stone, and it is a long way off." So that was good. I planted the seed I want to germinate in his mind, the one about not having a baby for at least a year after getting married. Robby can be reasoned with, but sometimes it's a painful procedure. No one can have everything they want. That's what Robby needs to understand. I can help him with that... heh heh.

I learned later that the meeting he had earlier that Saturday didn't go well at all. I gotta keep in mind this was over two months ago so I hope I'm remembering it accurately. At that meeting one of the financial backers embarrassed Robby by asking questions Robby had no way of knowing the answer, and his dad didn't stick up for him. Then one of the backers called the Dicker's company an amateur operation which embarrassed and pissed-off his father. His dad took it out a little on Robby telling him later that he, Robby, needed to learn how to stick-up for himself in business negotiations. As if that wasn't bad enough, before our dinner at Dino's, Robby and Dodger had a heart to heart talk during a phone conversation from Fort Sam Houston, Texas, that ended in some name calling by both of them. The gist of the conversation centered around Robby's plans for him and me. Dodger is vehemently opposes to some of them saying Robby's being unrealistic and he's hurting and taking advantage of me. Some of that might be Dodger being jealous of maybe losing his brother to me a little, or maybe because I'm marrying Robby instead of Dodger. That last possibility is irrational on Dodger's part, but he alluded to it in a discussion we had before he went back to his Army responsibilities. In the end I really don't know exactly what's behind the animosity between the brothers. Some of it's about me, but there's other factors too.

That's the background Robby was dealing with before he picked me up for our dinner so he wasn't in a good mood to start with. I'd obviously picked a bad time to mention that baby thing I didn't like about his marriage plans and he snapped a little. I had no way of knowing about his earlier problems that day. At one point during that dinner Robby wanted to know if I'd gotten Chubby and Dodger to throw a money wrench into our marriage plans? He accused me of that before backing off and apologizing, saying again it's been a bad day for him. Actually, none of the plans for our marriage are our plans like Robby says all the time, they're his plans. Anyway, that dinner two months ago set the tone between Robby and me since then. That fucking dinner didn't do either of us any favors and the same can be said of the two Thanksgiving dinners we just had. This Sunday dinner Robby wanted me to be at tomorrow would just have been more of the same. We're still engaged but the bloom is off the rose a little. That might be an understatement and I don't know what's going to happen, but what's new with that? I never know what's going to happen. Can't we all just get along? Ha ha. Fuck that.

Jeez, a couple of other things happened that weekend involving side-sex. I mean the weekend two months ago, not this weekend. For one thing, Sonny and I got reacquainted big time. I even fucked him once. It was his request and it turned out pretty good even if I do say so myself. Then later we did the sub/dom sex together although it wasn't perfect because as I recall he tied up my cock and balls and left them tied too long. If not that it was some screw-up like that. Still, Sonny got me into a number of sexy trances, like when he tied me to his desk chair and cut my hair after I explicitly told him I didn't want a haircut. Sonny does pretty much whatever he wants, but that confident attitude can work to my advantage getting my dick so hard it's like unreal. Every since that weekend, when I'm coming home I text Sonny ahead of time and we work around Robby's schedule for our sub/dom sex play. He's my only dominant partner and has been since, I guess, Ray. Robby's dominating my life, but not in a sex-play kind of way. Only Sonny does that, and I've been craving it the past two months so I've done it with him every chance I get. And then for reasons unknown Robby sat me down about three weeks ago and wanted to know about my side-sex, and what I've done to curtail it. I admitted to having side-sex with Sonny and admitted it's Sonny's who cuts my hair during our sex game. Robby was kinda disgusted and openly mocked the very idea of sub/dom sex. He used to try accommodating me in that regard, but he no longer bothers to try. He tells me, "I've let too many things slide with you, Dylan, I'm putting my foot down on some things and you need to listen to me." He didn't tell me to stop seeing Sonny though, and I think it's because I didn't admit to any other side-sex and since he's engaging regularly in side-sex with at least Danny Monday he couldn't very well try telling me I cant have the same with Sonny. Fact is, Sonny isn't the only side-sex I'm having on a regular basis. Since that weekend the middle of September I mean.

An extremely curious thing developed side-sex-wise during that one weird weekend. It's become an infatuation of mine. I have a sexual infatuation for a posse boy named, Bean, aka, Theodore Tesdavery the third. I call him Theo sometime now and he says it's okay, but he prefers 'Bean' because he's used to it. Bean claims he's not gay and maybe he's not, but he likes me to suck his cock and he likes fucking me, a lot. Anyway, it started when he came over for a haircut the Saturday of that long ago weird weekend, and I guess because we did it once before in a weak moment when I sucked his cock, Bean was hoping I'd do it again, and maybe I'd like him to fuck me too. That's the way Theo's brain works. The first time I sucked his cock was way back

last summer. He'd been nagging me to do it for a couple of weeks and that was perhaps because Ray and I were unfortunately boyfriends at the time. Bean claimed Ray and me peaked his curiosity about gay matters. Anyway, last summer he kept asking me to please blow him until it became one of those 'what the fuck' deals to me. I thought okay lets do it and get it over with. I liked Bean, but had not the slightest interest in him sexually. Consequently that first time wasn't much of anything except I discovered he has a long rather thin cock that feels real good up my ass because I let him fuck me too. I thought that was the end of that, but when he showed up for his haircut that weekend a couple of months ago, he wanted to know if I'd like to suck his cock? That's the way he put it, "Would you prefer sucking my cock before or after my haircut?" That's what started it.

To make a long story short I got this inexplicable totally unexpected feeling that there was something sexually hot about Bean that had previously alluded me. Yeah, I was sensing some kind of sexiness coming off Bean. I'd never sensed it before at all, but that Saturday there was just something about him. Even so I resisted his suggestion I blow him because I didn't want to backslide to my alley-catting days. Bean was persistent though and he was so damn likable about it too. He was using his fractured logic in his persistence that we should do it again because we already did it once before. Finally I thought, Ya know, I'm missing all the fun here. What's the big deal about having a little side-sex again. I got this feeling that I need to partially return to yesteryear and do a little more of the alley-catting type side-sex. Which means taking advantage of selected opportunities to have sex when they present themselves instead of turning it down like I'd been doing back then. It'd been a while now that I'd been cutting side-sex to almost nothing, and did it pretty much in a 'cold turkey' fashion. Going from a hundred miles an hour down to ten miles an hour abruptly. I figured my sexual inclinations had been shocked by that quick turnaround and that can't be healthy. During Bean's shampoo I started feeling this stronger and stronger bizarre sexual attraction for goofball, Bean, and I couldn't figure out why. Well no matter the 'why' of it, I ended-up blowing him, and that intimate endeavor increased his sexual attractiveness to me even more, which then led to him fucking me after his haircut. In other words we did exactly what Bean/Theo was hoping for. And I really enjoyed it too! It was true buddy sex at it's purest and without any pain because, while his cock is close to eight inches long, it's narrow. It's still tight enough inside my ass to bring on the sensations, but without stretching my rectum which results in sexual pleasure without any discomfort. A nice little combination that's hard to beat.

It's wasn't just his awesome cock though. The mysterious part was the way I was feeling sexual heat for him. Sexual heat for him as a person, as a guy

person. And it was happening without me knowing specifically why I was feeling that way. In any case Bean liked having his cock sucked and he told me with a straight face that I sucked him off better than the slut twelfth grader did behind the bleachers. Wow, what a compliment! It got to where I was staring at his sexy lips and pretty eyes, things about him I never noticed before. He has those narrow eyebrows I like, and almost girlie curled eyelashes, but these things aren't enough on their own to get my dick squirmy in my pants. It was him, all of him. The sound of his voice and his cluelessness and innocence. He's very nice too, plus he really seems to get off fucking my ass. Anyway, another surprise he pulled on me that day was him hesitantly asking me if the two of us might go out together some time. Bean made it clear to me he doesn't believe in dudes dating dudes, as he puts it, so he calls it hooking up to hang out together and, ya know, fuck a couple of times too. It's a date if I ever heard of one, but what's in a name. That first Saturday last September was more of a fun lark to me than anything else. I assumed my attraction to him was some temporary quirky affectation. I had fun teasing Theo/Bean describing our hanging out as him picking me up and treating me to the movies and later kissing a bit, without Bean kissing back of course, and then him fucking my brains out. Ha ha, it was a fun time with him. He goes, "That's exactly what I thought we would do, Dylan. Not a date like you and Ray went on. You and me will do a guys' thing. Right?" I wanted to kiss him and reassure him he's right, but instead I just rubbed his head roughly and told him we'd do it. He was excited that I agreed to get together with him because he thought I'd say 'no' and just blow him off, no pun intended. That's pretty much what I thought I'd do too, but it's not what happened.

Nope, something different happened. It was later that same week and I'm back at Merrimack thinking about my Theo/Bean boy, surprised to find I wanted to have sex with him again, and soon. With him it's totally not sub/dom sex at all, and he has no sexy scent, he's skinny as hell with a too long neck

and he's not cute. And he's not too smart either, kinda clueless and naive as all get out. Thinking about these things I remember shaking my head and laughing at myself for feeling the hot's for Bean when he's the opposite of anyone I've ever felt sexual heat for. Like I said, he doesn't even make-out and there's basically zero foreplay, but I can't get it out of my mind that he's sexy. That first week after our sex together I fought the urge to get in touch with him, and he's never text me except for a haircut which he just got so he won't need another for three or four weeks. I labeled my silly attraction to him as misguided and due to lack of other side-sex. Side-sex other than Sonny I mean. Robby knows about Sonny, although he disapproves, telling me, "Dylan, he's a baby! Hey, you're not taking advantage of him are you?" Me taking advantage of Sonny, that's a fuckin' joke. Nobody takes advantage of Sonny. I didn't mention Bean to Robby and I still haven't. Anyway it's the end of the following week in September and I still can't get Theo/Bean off my mind, but I use my willpower to resist the urge to see him. I resisted my urge for three weeks after that weird weekend, which would be about five weeks ago now when he text me for another haircut. I thought I was over my unexpected attraction to him, but I got an even stronger attraction to him when I saw him again.

I felt I was over him, but doing his shampoo I was sensing Bean's strange unnamed sexiness affecting me again. It's like an invisible force taking over my brain and I found myself staring at him as he sat in the shampoo chair

comfortably relaxed with his eyes lightly closed and his jaw working steadily on some chewing gum. Normally that would annoy the hell out of me, but Bean/Theo's jaw muscles were hypnotizing me instead. His eyes were closed so I took that opportunity to lean my head down to his, almost touching him with my nose, trying to detect a sexy scent, but none existed on him. I was dragging out the shampooing waiting for him to mention again that he'd 'let me suck his cock', as he puts it. I even used hair conditioner after the shampoo to drag it out further. He loves having his hair shampooed so there were no complaints from him about how long I did it, but still no mention of anybody sucking anybody's cock. No way I was bringing it up! I'm supposed to be the cool college sophomore and Bean the clueless high school senior. Nothing to do but dry his hair. When his hair was dried, he muttered, "Thanks, Dylan, I love the way you shampoo my hair, dude. It's my thing," and he stands up and pulls his pants down just like that. I'm staring at his half-boned penis, totally taken by surprise. Bean sits back down looking at me with his pretty brown puppy dog eyes. Apparently in Bean's mind it's a no-brainier, his cock gets sucked after the shampoo, which logically mean I get my ass fucked after the haircut.

No need to ask me if I'll suck him off, in Bean's mind that's already been

established. I take his cock in my fingers and he puts his hand on mind, telling me, "Before you start, dude, this time please suck me off slower than last time." I would have laughed except I was noticing my dick getting hard. I nodded my head and went to put his cock in my mouth and he held my head, this time with a hand on my forehead. He says, "And, please, dude, don't take it in your throat this time. That makes me cum too fast, dude, ya know, and I like a long slow blow job." That Bean/Theo, huh? I sucked him off super slow trying to detect his missing scent, but even in his crotch it was still missing. Even so I loved sucking his cock and eventually swallowing his jism. Sweet! He rubbed my head saying 'thanks' when he climaxed his big load of cum in my mouth. During the blow job Bean was very demonstrative about how hot it was having his cock sucked. He was groaning and moaning hopping up off the chair, his body in constant motion. There's nothing phony about him and he knows what he likes. Then his haircut followed, which I took a long time doing and even hugged his head and kissed his forehead at one point, totally smitten by him. He pulled his head away, saying quietly, "No, please don't, dude, it's not right for dudes to kiss dudes." I reminded him he let me kiss him last time and he said, "Yeah, but only because you said I had to let you kiss me before you'd let me fuck you." I told him he still had to let me kiss him, and he told me to wait until I was done with his haircut at least. It was hard keeping my hands off that skinny body of his and I wasn't entirely successful at doing that, but he likes being massaged so I did a lot of that. All the time I was doing it I'm racking my brain trying to decide what I find sexy about him, but couldn't come up with a

specific thing back then, and I haven't been able to detect what it is since then either. It must be just him as a whole, which further baffled me at the time, and still does.

After the haircut, the same haircut I think he got in September, he tolerated me kissing his sexy lips twice, but he wouldn't kiss back even a little bit like he did last time. I swear to God that kid has the sexiest lips. I guess that's one specific thing right there about why I think he's sexy, and his pretty eyes have those thin eyebrows I like. He also has almost girlie eyelashes so his eyes are sexy too. Hard to imagine just his eyes and lips getting me this hot for him though. I just don't know. He fucked me in my bedroom again asking if he could please do it doggy style. That's what he pleaded for last time too. I find doggy style fucking the most submissive way to have a guy fuck me, but I'm not submissive to Bean and he's not dominate. I told him 'no' and he fucked me with me bending over, hands on my knees and my pants just below my buttocks. Bean fuck's amazingly good! His whole body's engaged in the endeavor and I'm hard pressed to think of anyone who gets his rocks off harder or with more enthusiasm than him. He loves it and makes no bones about it, other than proclaiming he's not doing a gay sex act because he's doing the 'guy' part. Left unsaid is I'm doing the girl's part. Shades of Ray's philosophy right there and I wonder if those two discuss them fucking guys. Bottom line is I couldn't care less what his rationalization process entails. Whatever, dude. That second weekend in September started everything and three weeks later Bean was just as hot as he was the first time. No, he was sexually hotter to me. The first time we did it last September Bean asked me if we could do it again in an hour or so and I declined. The weekend three weeks later I was waiting for him to ask that same question. I planned to keep a couple of hours after his haircut free for seconds and maybe thirds. A second fuck didn't come up though. Bean fucked a huge orgasm out of me and then didn't mention a second fuck. He had his jacket on walking to the front door, then stopped, and hesitantly said, "I don't suppose, um, you'd consider doing it again, dude, like after lunch. Would you, dude? I mean, would you like to? I can handle that, no problem." I played it coy hemming and hawing that I don't know, maybe. He goes, "Come on, have lunch with me at McDonalds and maybe you'll change your mind." Hot shit! I wanted to kiss him so badly, but didn't dare 'cause dudes don't kiss dudes'.

I bought a small cheeseburger and a small Coke because I wasn't really hungry, but I wanted to stay with him. Oh man, was Bean ever chatty during lunch telling me about his week at school, and what this kid said, and what Bean said, and he almost cold-cocked this dude who was rude to this chick, the one he's thinking about taking out. I didn't bother following it all, just watched him talk and eat, which he does with his mouth open making wet chewing mouth sounds. That didn't even bother me although normally it would have no matter who was doing it. So Bean's talking was like white noise to me until I think I heard him say something about him and Ray discussing us..." but I didn't hear exactly what it was, so I went, "Whoa, Theo, are you saying you told Ray about you and me?" He told me, "Yeah, I did because me and Ray have you in common now." I stared at him, that's bullshit that he'd tell Ray... Ray of all people. I wanted to control my temper though so I don't fuck up our follow-up sex. He goes on to tell me, like it was the major point in his and Ray's conversation, "Don't get the wrong idea, dude, I didn't say you were my gay boyfriend like you were with Ray. Noooo, dude, dudes aren't boyfriends in that sense. Not unless you're gay or bisexual like you two. No, I just told him I'm fucking you, and he was all ears, dude. Really interested." No shit he was interested, you idiot. I'd been positive Bean was never gonna let out he was doing gay shit, except in his warped mind what he's doing with me isn't gay on his part. I quizzed him about what those two nitwits talked about exactly, and Bean thought the two most important results of his discussion with Ray were, one, he got Ray's respect now, and two, Ray didn't punch Bean out for dorking his ex-boyfriend. "Let me tell ya, dude, I was worried I'd get my ass whipped, but Ray was a man about it and congratulated me on having the balls to be up front with him, and for fucking you a couple of times when I get my haircut too. I consider that sort of paying you back for the free haircut. Oh, and I told him you suck me off too." Bean/Theo was so proud of himself, he said, "Yeah, Ray patted me on the back calling me 'stud'. Ya know, dude, he called me that because I'm drilling your gay ass. Ray said all he'd need to do was suggest it to you and you'd jump at the chance to have Ray fuck you again." Jesus! What a couple of idiots! Oh fuck, and Ray's due for a haircut soon too. Fuck, fuck! I told Bean I was pissed-off he'd told somebody about us and that I'm not doing it with him anymore. I don't want that turd, Ray, thinking he's got something on me to mock me about. 'Bean is fucking you, hahaha', and then maybe he'd spread the word.

I didn't follow through with my threat not to do it with Bean anymore because leaving McDonalds Bean put his arm across my shoulders and my dick tightened up. He told me, "Dude, get a fuckin' grip about us not doing it anymore. We both like it too much to quit. Everybody's screwing everybody. It's our generation's thing." Whatever the fuck that means. I didn't put up too much of a fight about the second fuck and I'm glad I didn't because it was a long one and hotter than the heat from two suns. He can really fuck and without any discomfort to me at all, just sexual pleasure. I just wish that kid had a scent to go along with the rest of him. Then the week after that I found a reason Friday after classes to come home. I knew Robby had a baseball activity. Another pick-up game with his teammates. He gave me some shit about not supporting him by going to the game and whatnot, but I had the hot's for Bean and Sonny. It was Friday night with Sonny at my place because his folks were home. Oh man, we did the full sub/dom sex play and this time he didn't screw-up leaving the ties around my cock and balls too long. What an orgasm I had! Holy shit. I got the haircut again from Sonny too. I didn't want it because I wanted Ryan to cut it this time so I maybe could find out what's up with him. Sonny didn't give a shit what I wanted, he was so dominant and cute at the same time I found myself in a deep fucking trance, almost receding in age like only Ryan's been able to do. Ryan's another one I need to think about in a big way, and soon.

Anyway the next day was Saturday of course, and in the morning Ray and Gary were scheduled to come over for haircuts, which I was dreading. They came though and I gave Gary his haircut first because he asked me to, but I was hoping he'd stay for Ray's haircut to avoid the awkwardness of being alone with Ray. I gave Gary another tight crewcut without him putting up any fuss at all. I guess Ray's really got him under his thumb. Unfortunately Gary didn't stay after his haircut. He went on an errand, although I can't remember what it was. He did say he'd be back to pick up Ray. To Ray's credit he didn't make too big a deal out of Bean fucking me. He just said, "When you're ready to have a man fuck you, call me. Oh God, you resorted to Bean, ha ha, Jesus, after I dump you, you really got hard up, huh? Ha ha, just kidding." When Ray and I were boyfriends that six or seven week period he'd show me a good side of him occasionally, but basically Ray's a dyed in the wool prick. Still that was about it from Ray, so not too bad. Gary was late getting back to pick-up Ray so there was some awkward minutes where Ray acted the bully goosing me and dry humping me a little. That fucker's strong. He'd get me in a headlock asking if I wanted him to fuck me real hard and real

fast. He said he'd let me suck Gary's cock while he, Ray, was fucking me. He said that would help me remember the difference between getting fucked good and the junior league. I got half a stiffy, maybe a little more than half, but mostly from his scent I think. It's still a little difficult getting that mushroom headed cock of Ray's out of my memory banks. Then Gary came back and Ray bullied him a little until I managed to get them out of here.

Gary and Ray were only gone about a minute before Bean showed up. If they were still here it would have been embarrassing and awkward for me. Theo d idn't need a haircut that day of course, he just got one last week, but thank God he wanted the shampoo. I was glad because as soon as he walked in, all gangly and tall with his goofy grin, I got a hot feeling in my groin again. He's so fucking hot to me now without me knowing why. He's oblivious to it too because I didn't let on back then, not yet. I kept it casual and matter of fact, like he did. Bean/Theo said hello, did the posse greeting, that he didn't do every time we met so it took me unawares, then he goes right into the half bath. When he took his shirt off that day I tried to convince myself his small amount of chest hair, his happy trail and wispy whiskers were why I thought he was sexy, except his body is skinny and his face isn't cute so how can that be sexy? I ruffled his dry hair when he sat down, then massaged his shoulders some leaning down to see about a possible scent and noticed a touch of BO instead. I'd noticed it before, mostly when he moved his arms. Nothing like Ray's BO, this was normal teenager Bo, but as I recall it wasn't all that bad, just not especially sexy. Well maybe it's a little bit sexy on Bean/Theo. No one would say Bean isn't all male; there isn't a girlie thing about him except his long eyelashes and other guys have them too. I had the urge to hug him, but I didn't. Instead I began the shampoo.

To maintain bodily contact with him I think I dragged out the shampoo again, taking every opportunity to bump against him and touch him. I wanting to suck his cock and have him fuck me so badly my dick hurt. And in time we did it all that, and then later another two bagger with Bean thanking me ten times for helping out a brother posse boy The favor was I sucked his cock then letting him fuck my ass twice, all within an hour and a half. I managed not to gush all over him about how sexy and hot I thought he was, and I didn't beg him to make-out naked with me, which is what I fantasized about all the time back then. I maintained some dignity and managed to act blasé about it, although I wasn't that successful at being blasé during my two climaxes. I was so exuberant Bean laughed out loud, going, "Dude, you sure like getting fucked. My long cock fits your ass really good, huh?" I think that was the day I tried to get him to hang around hoping he'd change his mind about a make-out. God I'd love to do that with him, BO and all. I know we didn't make out, although he may have stayed for a Coke and a cigarette on the balcony. I'm not sure if that's the time we did that or not, but I know I never got tired of him being around back then. That's all I remember about that Saturday. Then Sunday morning I made brunch for the moms, and I think I hung around talking about the parts of college life I could talk about with the moms and not freak them out. Sometime in the afternoon I drove back to the apartment to face Robby. And of course since Sonny gave me his infamous wickedly short haircut Robby knew I had side-sex with him. When he saw

me his eyes went to my haircut and he just made a 'face' shaking his head like he was disgusted. I wanted to scream at him, 'Don't be so sanctimonious! You're screwing Danny regularly and frequently yourself'. He's also screwing Ryan occasionally where as I am not. I gotta think long and hard about that situations too.

Well, Chubby's still sleeping as I'm driving onto route 125 heading for North Andover and I'm remembering how sexually satisfied I felt when I got back to the apartment that Sunday. Satisfied both with my sub/dom side-sex with Sonny and my infatuation side-sex with Bean. After Robby turned up his nose about me and Sonny, he was great the rest of the day. Then in the bedroom that night Robby was fantastic working me up with an awesome make-out that put me into a lick-my-lover's-body frame of mind and I sucked on every part of Robby's body from his toes to his ears and everything in between. Maybe I felt guilty, but I was worshipping Robby's body that night, for sure. It was the last time I've done that since then so maybe I should try it tomorrow night with Rob. Anyway, that Sunday was five weeks ago and it was seriously sexually hot and the lovers fuck with Robby that followed was as hot as it's been between Robby and me since before the weekend we ate out and I tried proposing an adjustment to our marriage plans. Not a word has been spoken about that in the two months since that night, by the way.

At college we're on a schedule for more things than Robby's and my sex. We have lifting every other day and Ryan runs that with an iron hand. Chubby's still lifting with us, which surprises me considering Ryan loves telling him what to do. I think Chubby likes Ryan though, so he don't mind Ryan's bossiness. I don't mind it either. Ryan's the supposed expert since he lifted all last summer with those losers in Georgia. It's more than fine by me that he's running the lifting show. I love our lifting sessions and I'm always asking Ryan to check my hand position on the bar so he'd come over and lean on me adjusting my hands. His scent is still an aphrodisiac to me and just a touch by him can get my dick jumping around in my boxer shorts. More of our schedule is Ryan, Robby and me having study group together once or twice a week depending on what Robby feels is necessary. I like to lean over Ryan, supposedly reading what he's pointing to in his text book, but really so I can smell him and touch him. I miss being close to him and that's like the biggest understatement ever. Our midterm grades were B's across the board so I need to give props to Robby for keeping the pressure on me and Ryan in that regard. The three of us go to classes and eat lunch together too, so it's a threesome in that regard, but Ryan spends most of the rest of his free time with his roommate. I miss Ryan and me doing it.

During that week after I worshipped Robby's body we were really getting along well, screwing a couple of times a day. I was doing okay Bean-wise by using my fantasies of me and him making out naked. That held me over until I saw him again. Doing okay until Wednesday that is, our day without classes. Robby had another baseball activity, probably fucking Danny Monday, and I was laying in bed that morning with a strong urge to get fucked by Bean again. Get him to fuck me again after only four days since the last time. It turned into an urge that just took over my brain until I finally text Bean around twelve o'clock, knowing he'd be at lunch in the school cafeteria at that time. I said in the text I had to pickup something at home and would he want to hook up this afternoon. He gets out of school at two o'clock. This happened about a month ago. Us hooking up meant fucking of course, and he's well aware of that so I was surprised when he text back that he was suppose to do some dumb ass thing with some friends. I can't remember now what it was, but he couldn't make it and casually told me, "Some other time, dude. Maybe Saturday I'll let you suck me off and, you know the rest, dude." Oh man, I was so pissed at him, and then at myself for needing it so badly. I thought about it and then swallowed my pride and texted him back with one word, 'please'. That's what he'd said to me trying to get me to let him fuck me that first weekend, so maybe it'll work the other way. He texted back,

'Okay, as a favor to you, dude, I'll blow my friends off. You still haven't hooked up with me though. You know, to hang out going to the movies or something, and you said you would.' All I probably cared about back then was he said, 'yes'. I got the Jeep and while driving home realized my mom doesn't leave for work until four, so we'd need to do it some other place and I couldn't think where, but I didn't mention that to Bean. We arranged where I'd meet him on school grounds. Grounds I know so well after going there four years myself.

Anyway I picked up Bean, as horny as I've ever been in my life. I remember seeing him loping over to the Jeep with a goofy grin and it got my dick stirring. He was usually grinning. As it turned out nobody was home at his house so we fucked there. He did end up fucking me twice, but I had to bring up the second one. Thinking back on it I was sort of nagging him for a second fuck and I remember Bean looking at me funny, like maybe a light went on ion his brain. He nodded his head smiling to himself a little, then told me, "Okay, sure I'll go a second time, no problem, dude. Um, but it's going have to be doggie style with you naked, or I won't do it. No offense, dude." I think Ray put him up to that. Doggie style is what he asked me to do way back that second weekend of the semester, and at the time I brushed it off as being ridiculous. I think doggie style is the most submissive way of getting fucked, as I've said before, but I'm not submissive to Bean and he's not dominant. Not even when he said it'd had to be doggie style. He said it almost like he was apologizing about stipulating that. I looked at him for a few seconds and then did what he wanted, figuring it's either Ray's influenced or Bean's finally realized I'm not doing him the favor so much as he's doing me the favor. I took my clothes off, and got on all fours. That's the only way he'd fuck after that, me naked with Bean sometimes merely pulling his cock out through his fly. So that was a Wednesday about a month ago now, and by then Bean had me pretty much were he wanted me, although he didn't take further advantage of that fact. Um, that's if he even realized he had me just where he wanted me, he very well may not have known. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The Friday after that Wednesday I had to bullshit like crazy not to go with Robby to watch the Merrimack basketball game that he was going to with some baseball teammates. They were showing support for the basketball teammates and Robby wanted me to go. The thing is I'd promised Bean we'd have our non-date that Friday night, and we did. We saw a movie that he paid for, saying, "Ray paid for your hotdog's at those basketball games so I guess me being the guy I should buy the tickets." More of Ray's influence. How Bean didn't see this as a 'date' is beyond me. After the movie I directed him to a secluded spot Robby and I have used. I knew to get undressed so I did it without Theo/Bean telling me to. He nodded his head, a sweet grin on his lips, mumbling, "Thanks, Dylan. I wish I had a body like yours, dude." Then Bean pulled his pants down to his thighs, put his hand behind my head and pulled it down to his groin, "Go slow, Dylan. Do a lot of those little licks on the head of my long cock too." Yeah, Ray must have instructed Bean how to get his hand behind my head bringing it down to his cock. He's done it every time since then and he keeps pressure on the back of my head so I can't even lift off his cock to take a big breath. I licked and then sucked his cock into my mouth. When I've sucked a hard boner on him he uses a handful of my short hair to bob my head up and down on his cock at the speed he likes. He keeps my head bobbing up and down on his cock until he climaxes, and he has big climaxes. It's always spurted out the sides of my mouth, running down my chin and Bean always laughs his ass off about that. His first orgasm is always from my oral sex on his long cock.

Another thing Bean's always fascinated by is me getting a hard boner from sucking him off. He can't believe it and always asks to see it. If we're in a car he'll push me back against the seat and marvel at my boner sticking straight up as hard and tight as his was when he climaxed. He's never touches it though, not yet anyway. Theo, as I like to call him, recovers amazingly fast after an orgasm too. In as little as fifteen minutes sometimes, and then he's ready to go again. His cock may not be real hard going in my ass, but it tightens up really hard as he fuck's me. And second fuck's with him can easily go on for as long as twenty minutes. Starting back five or six weeks ago I was going home every weekend right up until this Thanksgiving weekend. Most of those trips home left a pissed-off Robby back at the apartment because he had college oriented stuff he wanted to do, but I wouldn't stay with him making up one reason after another why I couldn't stay. And all but one of those weeks I'd also get home on Wednesdays to fuck with Bean. One time I was sucking his cock and he took his hand off my head for some reason. For a change I took his cock from my mouth so I could lick his balls thinking I'd introduce Theo to rimming. No way. He was like, "Please, dude, don't do that. Just my cock, it embarrasses me to have you lick my balls. I'm surprised it doesn't embarrass you too, but I guess you being gay and all, you'll do anything to please the guy who's fucking you, huh?" Jeez, he's finally elevated himself to 'the guy who fucking me'. God only knows what he'd say if I told him I was going to lick his asshole. Bean has never intended anything he said to me to be mean spirited. Everything he says, he says in a nice manner, without being arrogant or bossy at all. Just matter of fact statements. I'd given up trying to kiss him by then because once he realized I needed him, he put a total stop to all kissing, but like I said he does things like that very nicely. He's always nice and polite and respectful and grateful that I suck his cock and let him fuck me.

So yeah that brings me up to this Thanksgiving break during which Theo fucked me four times in the three days we were both available. I had sub/dom sex with Sonny just one afternoon. Robby and I didn't fuck once in the three days we were home together, and now I'm on my way back to college. I'm almost there as a matter of fact. I'll see Robby sometime Sunday when we'll surely fuck and maybe he'll want to do it twice. It's not unheard of. Crossing route 114, I drive the Jeep onto the apartment complex going in the main entrance and then I find a good parking spot for once. I'm glad the drive here and all my speculating and reminiscing about the last two month's activities is over. Yeah, but I still don't know what to do about any of it. I wake Chubby and he's groggy and grumpy. He mumbles, " I absolutely wants nothing to do with alcoholic beverages and I don't even want to smell them. Same for cigarettes, I'm off both those disgusting vices. Wild fuckin' horses

couldn't drag my ass out partying tonight." Yeah, yeah, I've heard that before. I grin at him, he's so cute. We had a heart to heart to heart talk after that weekend two months ago when Robby had the meeting and he and I ate at Dino's afterwards. I told Chubby just about everything that was said during that night except when it involved sex. Chubby took my side on every single point I brought up. A couple days after Chubby and I had our talk he tried jokingly to get Robby to lighten-up a little, but Robby took it as none of Chubby's business, so some snippy words were exchanged. Robby also accused me of talking behind his back. It's been a little icy between Robby and Chubby since then. My brother was only looking out for me like always, and trying to help Robby at the same time. Chubby and I always have had each other's back and that's true without exception. I felt even closer to Chubby after our talk. He went so far as to tell me to, "Break off that silly engagement, bro. Rob thinks he owns you".

Anyway, Chubby says he's staying in tonight, which is a first for a Saturday night. Myself, I haven't gotten drunk even once during the past four days of our Thanksgiving break, although I wish to hell I had gotten a little drunk on Thanksgiving day... heh heh. Whatever, I'm feeling frisky this afternoon. Not horny though, which is a good thing since no one on campus is likely to offer to fuck me. We unload everything from the Jeep, then I gotta help Chubby with some of his stuff. The poor kid's hurting with his big hangover hanging on still, so he lies down in his room. I put on a coat and grab a beer. It's my intention to smoke a cigarette or two on the balcony and suck down a few brews. I said there's no one here who's likely to fuck me, although that's technically not true. When I gave haircuts to Dougie Hamilton and Jamie McFarland, both cute guys, they propositioned me then and a couple of other times on campus too. The timing hasn't worked out for us so far, and I've been pretty busy driving back and forth to Framingham so Theo can fuck me. I've been to Stop & Shop a couple of times the past two months looking for Shaun Sullivan, who I had sex with last year, but he isn't working there this year I guess. I'll probably get a part time job after the first of the year, but so far I made enough money last summer that I haven't needed to work part time. Cory Dunlevy had a job set up for me at Stop & Shop but I passed on it. Now he's working at a different store and I hardly ever see him. He's sort of got a boyfriend now anyway, and that makes me happy for him although I don't get the impression they do a lot of sex. I could be wrong about that though beings Cory's not real talkative. I'm still not sure where the lad from London stands regarding his sexual orientation. We've hooked up a few times and hung out smoking and drinking coffee. Freddie's intriguing to me, and I like that accent of his. I've been trying to talk him into letting me give him a haircut, but he's got a million excuses why he can't do it this time or that time. A haircut can be slightly intimate if I chose to do it that way, and I could maybe find out something about Freddie. So far though he's only been full of double entendres with sexual overtones. That could be because I told him right out I'm gay, or because he's hinting he is too. We'll see about that in time I'm sure.

Lighting a cigarette sitting in a deck chair on the balcony I'm looking at the trees beyond the parking lot remembering the night I stumbled through those very trees stoned and drunk. Which brings my mind around to the real quandary I'm having about Ryan. That night I got high with Ryan and Tom Love. It was the last time I had any kind of sex with Ryan. I haven't seen Tom since that night, but Ryan has. He buys weed from him, but not that crake laced shit. Just regular marijuana which Ryan and his roommate, Marty Monroe, smoke together blowing the exhales out the dorm window. Those two have become very tight and I notice signs of submissiveness in Ryan. He told me he's fully embracing the submissive role for Marty. Hell, I have sub/dom sex with Sonny, if I'm lucky, two or maybe three times a month. Ryan's having it every night. At least that's what he's alluded to cryptically a number of times. I think him and Marty had a couple of three-ways with that tall friend of Marty's, Rex what's-his-name. I think his last name's Louis. Two first names for him and alliteration for Marty Monroe, huh. Ryan thinks that's so cool. Jesus, get real. Ryan confided in me he's finally found the dominant sex partner of his dreams and it seems Marty's really nice to him and over the last two months or so they've become close friends outside the sex. The commonly held premise is that the sexual fires has gone out where Ryan and I are concerned and our total lack of sex together for over two months now backs up that premise, although we're friends. The fire between us is extinguished is what Robby believes and Ryan too, and it's what I say as well. That's all swell and good, except it's bullshit. My old yearnings for Ryan have reared their ugly heads again and they're roaring and boiling in my head so hot I don't know what to do anymore. I want him so bad it hurts to be with him knowing he won't have sex with me. I've tried to explain to him, without sounding like I'm begging, that I had feelings for him at the beginning of the semester. It's just that we got tangled up with some details and messed things up a little at first, but it would have smoothed out quickly. He says he only loves me as a friend now and that Marty's become his sex man and he's finally happy in a sub/dom relationship that gives them both a lot of sexual pleasure. He doesn't have sex with anybody else unless Marty's involved.

The thing is, the more Ryan won't do it with me the more I want him to. It's a white sexual heat I have for that little guy that driving me mad. I've elevated memories of our early sex, with him being dominant, to such high levels in my mind, even I know I'm exaggerating. I want him so badly I fantasize about him and me so much those fantasies are pushing aside the ones of me and Bean making-out naked together. Ryan and I are around each other every day and I find myself staring at him and touching him every chance I get. Once in awhile something great will happen, like we'll ace a quiz and we'll hug, congratulating each other, and I'll sneak a kiss on his lips real fast. He gives me a knowing cute smirk shaking his finger at me, like that's a no-no you naughty boy, but in a humorous way. Lately Ryan's sexy scent

has been turning me on more than Robby's or Sonny's, and I desperately want him to dominant me in sex like nothing I've ever wanted before in my life. It'd be the ultimate irony if, as I suspect, Ryan moving to Georgia and taking our sub/dom sex with him led me to Ray. Now I wonder if him withholding sex from me has led me to Bean. I can't think of any other reason I've got this mad infatuation with my Theo/Bean boy. I've told Ryan a little about me and Bean/Theo, without mentioning that Bean's not attractive in a conventional sense and he's not dominant in any conventional way either, and Ryan told me, "I'm really happy for you, Dylan. Theo sounds, um, different." The prick! Saying he's happy for me is so fucking condescending! Ryan was never like that before so I'll bet that dork, Marty, is corrupting that sweet kid's mind. Robby may be partly responsible for me having this crazy infatuation with Bean too. His obsessive behavior about me has driven us apart some and maybe subconsciously I'm getting back at him by fixating on Bean. It's some combination of Ryan and Robby and me that's causing me to lose my mind over Theo/Bean, I'm sure of it. It seems the original threesome is conspiring, unintentionally, to drive me nuts. I know damn well if Ryan would take me back and give me another chance my interest in Bean would fade away just like that. Snap!

It's been over two hours of feeling sorry for myself. Shit, I'm a real piece of work lately. While I'm finishing my second beer, without a peep from Chubby who's sound asleep on his bed, my cell phone chirps that a text message has arrived. Probably from Robby wanting to know what I'm doing and who am I doing it with. But no, it's from Ryan. I stare at it, not because we don't text. We text all the time. It's just that I was thinking about him and 'bam' a text from him. I knew he wasn't going home to Georgia on this short break and maybe Marty's still at home like Robby. Hmmm, Ryan Wilcock, huh? Just saying his name gets me excited. He's undoubtedly come to his senses and wants to suck back in with me. Is that what's happening, Ryan? Ha, fat chance of that. Taking a deep breath I check it out.

to be continued... Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com (mailto:thinat20@yahoo.com)

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Donny Mumford

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