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I'm Carlos. I'm a mortician. You don't need to remember me, I'll be gone in the next paragraph. It takes a lot to get a mortician teary eyed, we all have the same middle name, pain/tragedy/grief, but this scene was too much for me. Two young men in their early twenties were on their knees, holding each other like life itself depended on it and weeping uncontrollably. This was the second time in a week they shared a burial here. I`m sharing things I couldn't possibly know, but you need to. Six days ago, we interred Dad, it was Johnny's dad but Bobby called him Dad too. Today it was Uncle Chad, Bobby's uncle, but both young men called him Uncle Chad. They'll tell you the rest of the story.
"Why, Bobby, why?"
"No one knows, Johnny."
"They were the only men I ever loved, Bobby."
"We loved, Johnny; and the only ones who ever loved us. They taught us how to be men in so many different ways."
"I'm not sure that they were done, Bobby"
"Someone thought so," pointing his finger toward the sky, "if there is more to learn it's going to be up to us."
"Do you really mean that `us,' Bobby?"
"Where ever life takes us, Johnny, it will always be US, but your going home with me tonight."
Between fits of crying and wonderful sex we didn't sleep all night.
"Have you had sex with a woman, Johnny?"
"No, I wouldn't even know how to start."
"This is the beginning of `us,' Johnny."
"First of all, everything that Chad and Dad taught us works just as well with a woman as it does with a man, she has two places to put it, but not a lot to put in your mouth. There's something there, and if she wants, she'll teach you."
"Is it as good as we have?"
"No, but I can't have you all the time."
"Who said?" I just slapped him.
I tried to get him to go out on his own but he wouldn't do it. I felt like his pimp, but he never went through with it. I had even stopped having sex with him, it hurt bad, but he needed a life bigger than I could offer him.
Jean and Jane were identical twins. Bobby and I met them at a singles bar, there was a kind of magic among the four of us. We double dated for two years, always double. Jean attached herself to Bobby, I had a feeling that it wouldn't be long before I'd lose my best friend. Jane wasn't exactly a consolation prize, but Bobby had been having women long before I had. The four of us spent a night in a hotel together. Bobby and I went to take a leak but when we got back, Jane and Jean were in the same bed. "Who's Jane?" "I'll never tell." "Me neither." They were so identical there was no way to tell, so we just each grabbed a woman and played. Bobby was getting a blowjob and said, "Your Jane." "How did you know?" "Ask your sister." But that didn't stop anything. We did that a lot, and we finally learned how to tell them apart, not that I cared, but Bobby did.
"Johnny, this isn't easy, I'm going to ask Jean to marry me."
"How about we marry them both, I've been thinking about it too."
It was a beautiful double ceremony, and their parents pulled out all the stops.
We checked into the honeymoon hotel. The sisters had made the reservations, there was only one room, and a king size bed. We played sexual musical chairs as we had for a long time, then it was time to go to sleep. Jean spoke up, she was the alpha sister. "Guys, we know you're in love each other, and we've known for a long time, and pretty much all the rest we guessed. Wherever you guys learned it, you had to learn it together. Girls talk. My sister and I have shared what you guys share for years, and tonight she and I are going to sleep together so you guys can do the same." That was the beginning of a lifelong honey moon. James and Chad (actually Chadley, the sisters uncle, but he was always Chad.) were born. We didn't know who the fathers were, but we didn't care. Two people truly in love is rare, four is beyond understanding.
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