Finally Together

FINALLY TOGETHER by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006 written on July 21, 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Brian

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"FINALLY TOGETHER" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

CHAPTER 3 - THE ANONYMOUS LETTER

They often went to the sauna, staying just long enough to make love without rushing, then a fast shower before parting. They often also went together to the movies, for a walk, or to watch soccer' matches, sometimes with Rita, sometimes alone. Luigi was often invited for supper by the unaware Rita, who looked rather favourably on the friendship between her husband and cousin. The two young men got on very well together and were happy. Even though Luigi would have liked to have more time to spend with his Marco, with whom he was more and more in love.

Rita was now pregnant. The young couple was very happy and proud about that. But when Rita was in her eighth month, she wanted to go back to Turin, in order to deliver there. Her mother could nurse her constantly, better than her husband who whilst working had to leave her alone. Marco was not very happy with this -arrangement, but Luigi was - as now he could make love with Marco at his home, in the big double bed. He could have Marco all to himself, from Monday to Friday. Marco gave him keys for the apartment. So Luigi went to fix him supper, waited for him, they ate together, and then made love. Unhappily, later, Luigi had to go back home - he didn't know how to justify the night spent out with his parents. He would have liked to fall asleep in the arms of the man he loved, to wake up with him, to fix his breakfast.

Marco, on getting home from work, greeted with a jolly tone, "Ciao!" and at that, Luigi went to meet him in the corridor. Marco pulled him against himself with a sweet smile, gave him a kiss and asked: "Is it ready? What did you prepare, this evening?" Luigi told him the menu while helping Marco to undress and to put on his gown. Marco gave him another kiss and they went to eat.

"If it was not for you, Luigi, I would just be eating sandwiches. It's great knowing you are here waiting for me."

"Just because I fix you the meal?"

"No, silly boy! Above all for the cake."

"The cake?" Luigi asked pretending not to understand.

"Yes, you! You are almost able to make me feel I don't miss Rita. You would be a perfect wife, if you weren't a man. But if you weren't a man, you would not be here now, with me... therefore... I like you very, very much, do you know that?"

Luigi was happy. Just the "almost" annoyed him a little. He was jealous of the power that his cousin had over Marco. Even if he knew, as Marco told him, that on the sexual level she satisfied him less than Luigi, Marco felt bound to her, and to Luigi, the most he could say was "I like you so very much" but never "I love you".

"What are you thinking about?" Marco asked him caressing his hair in a tender gesture.

"That I'm so happy being here with you."

"I am also happy. Let's go to the bedroom..."

"I have to tidy up, to wash the dishes..."

"No, not tonight. I'll do it after you leave. Come with me, now - I really want you so much!"

"So much... how much?" Luigi asked jokingly.

"So much... like this, look!" Marco said opening his gown and showing him his briefs tenting by the turgidity they contained.

"Mmggg, a very convincing argument, substantial!" Luigi smiled him caressing his erection through the thin brief's fabric. He stood up and followed him to the bedroom.

They undressed each other caressing, lapping, kissing in a sensual game, and exciting each other.

"God, aren't you gorgeous, Marco?"

"You too, Luigi, especially when you are aroused."

"With you I'm always turned on."

"Right. Will you never get tired of me?"

"Not I. But you?"

"No. Like the times in the Navy. Who knows why we forget? To think of you and to get a hard on, Luigi, is the same thing. You always had this effect on me, no other men."

"And Rita?"

"She is my wife, it's different. I love her. She is about to give me a child. But she is not able to make me feel even half of what you make me feel. Your body drives me crazy, you know it well, don't you? I really love sex with you!"

"But what if I left you? If I fell in love with another man?"

"I would feel really bad. Are you meaning... are you telling me that you are in love with another?"

"No, but it could happen. I feel the need to... to be loved." Luigi said caressing him, filled with desire, and thinking to himself "don't you now understand that I am in love with you?"

"Sure, I understand, and you deserve it. If I was gay, if a man was enough for me, you would be that man, Luigi, really."

"Yes, an elegant way to tell me - don't delude yourself." Luigi sadly thought. Marco continued, "I... I love you Luigi, but if you fell in love with another man... I would understand."

"Would you look for another boyfriend?" Luigi asked, feeling even sadder, but continuing to caress him and to hold him tight against himself.

"Perhaps, even though i know that it would not be easy to find somebody like you. And I'm not talking just about the physical side - between you and me there is a lot more than just a physical intercourse. And yet, I cannot tell you that I am in love with you, Luigi. It would not be honest, just to keep you for me, to lie to you. Even if possibly, what I am feeling for you, is so close to... To me you are really important, you see?"

"Take me," Luigi implored to stop the dialog that was making him suffer, "take me, please..."

Marco kissed and caressed him, preparing him for penetration, more sweetly than ever, almost as if he sensed his friend's mood, then he took him for a long while, leading him gradually to the verge of orgasm and keeping him there until neither were able to control themselves any longer and exploded together in a strong, sweet orgasm.

"Stay to sleep here, tonight, Luigi, please. I would like so much being with you longer."

"I can't, you know that. I would like to so much, but how can I explain to my parents? What pretext can I invent?"

"I'll call them and tell them I have fever and asked you to stay for the night. Surely they will agree."

Luigi stood. Marco hugged him tight and kissed him deep and long, then asked: "You are sad, aren't you?"

"No"... Luigi answered.

"I feel it. It's because... because I told you I can't be in love with you, right? Tell me the truth." he asked gently.

"No, I know it, I always knew."

"I feel so good with you, anyway. And I would like you too feel good with me. You are really important to me, believe me."

"I know. You too are important to me."

"I'm sorry I saddened you. I would like seeing you happy, as you deserve to be."

"I'm OK, really, don't worry." the boy lied striving to smile reassuringly.

"Would you take me now? I want you inside me."

"Yes, sure. We have all night, this time. It is the first time we can spend a full night together. I don't think we will have many other opportunities, sadly."

"Therefore, we have to enjoy it fully..." Marco sweetly whispered caressing him in a more and more intimate and sensual way.

"Sure, we have to enjoy it." Luigi answered, once again aroused. Marco took his friend's member between his lips, moistening it well to be penetrated, and sucking it until he felt it ready, of its maximum hardness. Then he lay on his back and spread his legs, offering himself to his friend, who took him with gentle passion, enjoying the hot furnace and making his friend enjoy his hot rod. They had all the time they needed to really and deeply enjoy each other.

The child was born, a girl they called Giulia - as Marco explained, he chose that name because it was an anagram of "a Luigi".

Mother and baby went back to Genoa, so the two friends had to start to see each other again in secret at the sauna, just a couple of times each week. To Luigi the change was hard. In more than one month that Rita was away, they had made love every day, with calm, taking all the time they wanted, in a real bed. Luigi was more and more jealous of his cousin. If she wasn't in their way, in fact... But at the same time, he also thought that if Rita was really in love with her husband, perhaps, just not to lose him, she would even share Marco with him. He certainly would have shared him with Rita, knowing how much Marco needed his woman also.

Those two thoughts alternated in his mind.

In the end, Luigi reached a desperate resolution. He thought about it for several days, but the more he thought about it, the more he was sure that it could be the solution to all his problems. If Rita came to know about Marco, and accepted Marco as he was, there would be room for Luigi too, or should she reject him, she would get out of their way herself. Yes, that was the solution. In the first case Marco could live with both of them, having his man without subterfuge, and the second Luigi would have Marco all for himself.

Luigi prepared an anonymous letter as he had planned. He prepared a careful collage of letters cut out from a newspaper. He bought, hiding them from everybody, some issues of "L'Unità", the Communist Party newspaper, that could not be related to him, then he composed the message.

"Madam Rita, I have a job right in front of a sauna of bad repute for faggots who go there to fuck and I must warn you that your husband Marco has been going there for months, a couple of times a week, always with the same man. It seems only right to me that you know about this, if you don't already. I don't think that a pretty young woman such as you be cheated in such a way. Certainly, this is your business and if you are happy sharing your man, nobody has any right to object. A friend of yours."

He put the collage-letter in a pink envelope he bought on purpose, on which he asked a friend to write his cousin's address. He posted it near the Station, and waited.

Just a few days.

He received two telephone calls, one shortly after the other. The first one from Marco: "Luigi, Rita has discovered our affair, she received an anonymous letter."

"Telling about us? How's that possible?"

"Your name is not mentioned, it just states I meet a man at the sauna."

"Where are you, now?"

"At work. Rita called me and read it to me. She is completely upset. I told her we will talk when I get back home. I needed some time to think."

"What do you intend doing? Deny it?"

"No, I can't."

"Will you tell her that... I am the man?"

"I don't know, it depends on how she takes it. But I don't think so. I don't want to create problems for you too. I just wanted to warn you."

"You can tell her about me, if you think it's worthwhile. You can also tell her that I'm the man with which..."

"I don't know, let's see. I'll keep you informed."

The second call came about thirty minutes later, from Rita: "Luigi, can you come over here soon?"

"Yes, sure. What's up? You have a voice!"

"Come, I don't feel like talking about it on the phone."

"All right, I'm coming. Just the time to call a taxi."

"Thank you."

Luigi called Marco and warned him that Rita called him and that he was going to meet her. "What will you tell her?" Marco asked.

"I don't know yet. I am embarrassed, but I couldn't deny it, I don't know what pretext I could use."

"If you can, call me here at the office, let me know what she said, OK?"

"If I can..."

"Do you intend telling her that you are the man?"

"I don't know, Marco, that depends, but I don't know."

"Above all if you tell her, I have to know."

"Sure. God what a mess!"

Luigi went to meet Rita. She was tense, nervous.

"Thanks for coming, Luigi. I didn't know who to turn to, here in Genoa."

"What happened?" Luigi asked.

"Here, look." she answered handing him the envelope. He read it and asked himself how to avoid betraying himself.

"Do you believe this?" he asked.

"I don't know. Who can have sent it to me? And if it is a lie, why? I'm afraid it is true."

"But you have to wait to hear his side of the story, I think."

"Yes of course. But I would have liked him to tell me something when I called him. But he..."

"Such matters are not easily discussed on a telephone."

"Yes, but I think it should have been easy just to say 'no'. He said we will talk when he gets back, I'm afraid that the answer will be a 'yes'."

"And... if it is a yes." Luigi tense asked.

"It would be horrible. I trusted him. Cheating on me, moreover with a man, understand?"

"Well, I don't think it makes much difference."

"But are you aware? Just the thought I have married a faggot... God, it disgusts me!"

"Isn't he a good husband, until now?"

"Oh yes, I deluded myself he was. But, can you understand? He was making love with me, but he was thinking of him. What a disgrace, how disgusting!"

"But, from what I know, he really loves you."

"And fucks with a male?"

"There are people like this, who need both a woman and a man. There is straight people, gay people, and also bisexual people, right?"

"It could be, but he has cheated me all this time."

"I am sure he loves you, as he loves Giulia, you can't deny it!"

"But what king of father could he be, a faggot? No, if it is true, Giulia and I could no longer live with him."

"Think carefully about this, Rita. If you really love him, you should try to understand him, to accept him as he is, don't you think?"

"Oh no, I can't love a man running with the hare and hunting with the hounds, not I! He lives with me, or with his man."

"He could possibly need both..."

"Well then, he has to find a woman ready to share him with a man. No, Luigi, you are not a woman, you can't understand. I just hope it is not true, I really can't hope anything else."

"If he said it is not true, would you believe him?"

"Yes, of course. I can't give more credit to an anonymous letter that to him."

"Therefore, you trust him."

"He always seemed honest to me."

"Even though, until now he's hidden his double sexuality?"

"Well, I can understand it is not easy to say such things. Possibly he was also ashamed. Possibly he is just a weakling..."

"And in that case... would you leave him?"

"Most certain. I could no longer live with him."

"I think you will destroy him - he loves you."

"A weird way to love, if it is true he fucks with a man, and rather often. But you, did you never suspect... he never gave you a hint?"

"Just that he is in love with you, nothing more. And that he is happy having Giulia, and that he wants two more children."

"Yes, but... If he really is a bisexual as you suggested, I would be sorry for him, but I could not stay with him anymore. I would be too disgusted!"

Luigi tried again to reason with her, but his cousin was absolutely unyielding. So, after about an hour, he bade her good bye on the pretext of a previous engagement and, back home, he called Marco to update him about his colloquy with Rita. Marco thanked him. Confirmed that he would tell her it was true and said that he would absolutely not make his name known. Luigi asked him to keep him informed.

The boy was upset. He was starting to ask himself if he did right sending that anonymous letter. But, all considered, he still believed he did the right thing.

That evening he didn't receive any calls. Not even on the following morning and Luigi was asking himself if he should call, but he preferred to wait longer. However in the afternoon, not having received any news, he called at Marco's office. They answered that he asked for sick leave, and that they didn't know when would he be able to resume work. Luigi understood that Marco used this excuse to able to stay home and discuss the situation with Rita. Luigi hoped that Rita changed her mind and didn't leave Marco... but at the same time he hoped the opposite. He would possibly have better not to send the letter, but now it was done. He would just wait and hope that some good for Marco and him would come of it.

After two days without any news, Luigi decided to call at Marco and Rita home. Marco answered.

"This is Luigi. I wanted to know..."

"Ah, it's you? Rita left, taking Giulia. She went to Turin."

"Will she come back?" Luigi asked, almost hoping so.

"No, she wants a divorce. She doesn't want to see me any more, and neither me seeing Giulia." he said with dejection. Marco, sobbed. Luigi felt his friend's pain and felt a deep pain in turn. He didn't want Marco to suffer.

"Do you want me to come over?" he asked. Hesitantly "As you like..."

"Then I'm coming, soon."

"All right..." his friend said dejectedly.

Luigi hurried over. He thought that perhaps Marco now needed him more than ever, needed his love.

When Marco opened the door, he had a really grief-stricken air. Luigi felt a pang in his heart, He tried to embrace him, but Marco moved away. Luigi said: "Marco... I'm so sorry seeing you like this."

"Why, how did you think you'd see me? My life is completely shattered, aren't you aware? Destroyed. She left me, and took away Giulia, and she doesn't want me to see my child ever again."

"She can't stop you from seeing the child! The judge will decide when you can have visitation rights, you are her father."

"She said that if I just try to see her again, she will interdict me for unworthiness. She will tell the judge I am a homosexual, and everybody else as well. I don't care so much about that, anyway. God, I believed she loved me - she vas icy, hard, wicked. All that had been between us, suddenly, doesn't count any more. I didn't think it was possible, and instead..."

"It means that she didn't really love you, then." Luigi said.

"Right. And this is what hurts most. I on the contrary believed she loved me. No, she loved another man, not me. On the other hand, it is possibly my fault if she believed I was another man."

"No, it is not your fault. You were honest, when you were saying you loved her, weren't you?"

"Sure, I loved her, even if physically, sexually, she didn't give me, she couldn't give me all I needed. But she didn't understand, she didn't believe me. I am done for, I am alone."

"No, you are not alone, Marco - I am here for you."

"You? What can you do?" Give back my daughter? Or deliver baby? What can you do? Marry me? Give me a family? Eh? What? Tell me?" Marco yelled, worked up.

"Marco, I... what I gave you until now... I believed I gave you something. I am here for you, anyway."

"What for? To fuck? I don't give a shit for that, anymore!"

"Marco! I presumed that between us they were not just fucks. You told me so! Do I not mean anything at all, for you? You are treating me almost as your wife treated you, aren't you aware of that?" Luigi protested sadly.

"But what do you want from me now? What do you want, eh? Go away, leave me alone! Clear off! Life is not made for good fucks only, don't you understand? Leave me alone!"

"Marco..." Luigi said stretching out his hand to caress his fist clenched in rage. But Marco, perhaps wrongly interpreting the move, gave him an uppercut to the jaw. Luigi fell to the floor, more from surprise than the blow itself.

"Go away, let me alone, scram!" Marco shouted, upset.

Luigi stood up slowly, feeling suddenly empty. He loved this man, he didn't want to leave him, but he understood that it was useless to insist at the moment.

"All right, as you want, but calm down. I'm going, yes. I didn't want to upset you, believe me, I..."

"Are you going, yes or no?" Marco asked, belligerently.

"Yes, yes... ciao... if you want to call me..." Luigi stammered and left Marco's apartment.

He didn't go home at once, he was too dejected by Marco's reaction. He never expected such a violent reaction, not towards him. It seemed almost as if he hated him... almost as if he knew that it was he who sent the anonymous letter. Luigi didn't realise that a family meant so much for his Marco, but even less that he would reject his support, his affection. He was dazed. The uppercut he received on the jaw was hurting a little, but much more than the physical pain, was the hurt of that unforeseen reaction.

He thought Marco would recover, that he would look for him, that he would even apologize. Yes, it had to be, without doubt. He just had to leave him alone a few days to get over the blow, and everything would return to normal between them, or rather, better than it was. He was certain of that. He just had to be patient for awhile. For sure, he would have liked to be at his side now in these difficult days, but...

A week elapsed, but Marco didn't call him. Luigi was more and more agitated. Eventually he decided to call him at his office again, but here he received news that left him dumbfounded - Marco had resigned! So Luigi decided to call him at home, but he got no reply. He tried to call again later, then the day after, at different times. He also tried to call in the dead of night, but he never got a reply. Then, using the keys Marco had given him, he went into the apartment. It was a shock - the apartment was empty, deserted, there was not even one piece of furniture, nothing. Marco had left, without saying anything to him, as if he never existed. Luigi sank to the floor on his knees, and started to silently cry. How was such a thing possible?

He had also lost everything now. Everything. He felt he hated Rita who with her attitude succeeded in destroying two lives, that of Marco and his own. If Rita really loved Marco, she would not have reacted in such a way. He really loved Marco, and for him he would have accepted everything and anything. He would have even accepted Marco having other lovers, men or women, just not to lose him! And now, for her fault, he too had lost him.

During the following days Luigi tried hard to find trace of Marco, but he seemed to have vanished. Nobody had any news of him, not his neighbors, not his job colleagues, and neither Marco's family that Luigi managed to find and that to Luigi's amazement, didn't seem at all worried over the young man's disappearance: "He is of age, and adult. He always did everything off his own bat. It could be just another of his brainwaves, like when he wanted to sign up in the Navy!"

Then Luigi decided to go to Turin, to ask Rita. But she didn't have any news either, and declared she didn't want to hear about him. Even if this meant that Marco would no longer send her the monthly allowance for Giulia, she didn't care at all. Rather, she preferred to erase Marco's memory from her life even at the price of losing his economic support.

Then Luigi asked her: "But, aren't you afraid he could commit suicide?"

"It is his problem, not mine, at this point. And even if he did, it could possibly be the best solution, for one like him. He is just a miserable perverted animal."

Luigi looked at her with wide eyes, then said her: "Poor Rita, I pity you. Or rather, I pity Giulia who has to grow up with a mother like you as an example, and a guide. No, you are not a human being, you are just a..." and without ending the sentence, he stood up and left his uncle's home, while Rita, with an hysterical tone, was shouting: "But what would you understand, what would you males understand? You are all the same, you care just your cursed cock, and to satisfy it, you are ready to justify everything and everybody..."

Luigi, back in Genoa, was not able to have peace. It seemed impossible to him that Marco wanted to disappear, without telling him anything, without caring about him. Was it possible that he didn't mean anything to Marco now, to that point? What was Marco feeling, in his heart? Where was he now? What could he do for him?

The feeling of impotence frustrated him. He wanted find his Marco, see him, be near him, let him feel that he loved him, even though he ill treated him. That he could understand. But how? What to do? He didn't even know if Marco was still in Genoa or if he'd left. But left, for where? Days elapsed without any news, and without Luigi being able to have any peace.

Because he wanted him all for himself, he had now lost him completely - he could not forgive himself. If only he could go back. Now he was convinced he did wrong in sending the letter, but it was too late. How could he have been so naive, so... He believed he knew Marco better, his feelings. He felt lost.

He was no longer interested in any other man, he was no longer even interested in sex - he didn't even masturbate. The pain of having lost Marco was too strong, intense. He didn't even go to the gay bar anymore where at times he went until then. Without Marco, nothing seemed have any importance, taste, value for him.

At night, when he had difficulties falling asleep, he recalled the golden moments of their encounters, from that first night on the ship, the secret encounters in his Marco's cabin, that day in the hotel, when Marco wanted to make love with him both before and after the wedding ceremony... and then all the times they took shelter in the sauna to steal an hour of love, and the idyllic month while Rita was delivering, the only marvelous night spent together, the wonderful way Marco offered himself or took him, gave him pleasure while getting his pleasure from him...

No, in the depths of his heart, Luigi couldn't really believe that it was over between them - he still hoped in some miracle, and clung to this hope.

Marco, after chasing Luigi, burst into a desperate crisis of crying. He felt lonely, done for, without any goal in his life. And he got angry with the only person who would remain with him, treating him badly, unfairly, he was now aware. But he couldn't help it - he... he could feel it, was doomed to remain alone, he was at this point a worn out man, and a dark force inside him pushed him to that gesture that made him now so irreparably and completely lonely. An almost masochistic pleasure to speed up the ruin of his life, done not so much for pleasure of suffering, that on the contrary had always been alien to him, but to his desire not to be pitied, not to show himself done for by the last person in the world who could still care for him.

This extreme gesture increased out of all proportions his suffering. And he finally gave vent to his pain. Done for, done for, completely done for. Now he could cry all his tears to himself without restraint, until he had no more tears.

He went to throw himself on the bed and remained there for two full days, without even feeling hunger pangs. Until somebody rung at his door. For a moment inside his heart a glimmer of hope lighted again - it could possibly be Luigi. He went to open up, somewhat dazed and torn between the desire to see him again and the fear it could really be him.

Instead they were the men from a removal company coming to take Rita belongings by her order, with a list of things that, in her opinion, she had right to have. Marco let them take everything without objecting about a single item, and rather pointing out other items to them, things, pieces of furniture to take away. Including what had been their double bed. When the men left, very little remained in the apartment. And this, to Marco, was a kind of final downfall. He didn't even cry, he was completely dazed. Seeing his apartment being emptied, assumed for him the symbolic value of the end of everything, real, tangible.

He gathered a few essential things in a suitcase, went to the bank and withdrew all his savings. Then he called a firm that emptied cellars and garages telling them to take away everything that remained. The agent came, evaluated what was left, offered a sum. Marco accepted without turning a hair. The man took everything away. Marco, picking up his suitcase, abandoned the apartment.

He went to the port and to one of the cheapest hotels he knew. Rented a room paying one month in advance and left his scanty belongings there. He went to his office and gave his resignation. He didn't have enough service to warrant a good severance package, but he didn't care.

Then, he went to a bar and ordered a drink. And he drank, slowly, glass after glass, until he was totally drunk. He fell asleep at the table. At closing time, the bartender shook him several times until he managed to make him open his eyes."

"I'm sorry, sir, closing time."

"Eh? Ah yes, I'll go..." Marco said and stood up, staggering.

"Do you want me to call a taxi, sir?"

"No, I'm close by, at the Posta Hotel." Marco mumbled, and had to grasp at the table to stop himself falling.

"Listen, you are not up to walking; the Posta is close by. Give me time to tidy up, then I'll take you there." the young man said kindly.

"No, don't worry, I can get there by myself." Marco slurred and tried to go to the door, but he swayed and if the bartender had not supported him, he would have fallen to the floor.

"No no, I can't let you leave in your condition. Sit here, I'll be ready in a moment." the bartender insisted, forcing him to sit down.

CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 4

In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is http://andrejkoymasky.com If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at andrej@andrejkoymasky.com