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This is Part 1 - The Walk Home
It was awkward the next day at school.
I mean we hadn't hooked up or anything but, we met up. Realised we went to school together, and just chatted. It was nice, almost like a date. Almost like one of the first few dates I'd been on, just with less sex.
Granted, we were only 15, so neither of us should've been on Grindr, but when you're in the closet you can't really openly date at school, or anywhere, so you make a profile online, and you try to meet guys in secret. No face just in case someone you know recognizes you and tells everyone.
It's stupid really, theres no one you know on grindr unless they're gay, in which case they wouldn't be going around telling everyone you're on there unless theyre out, and even if they are, we all know better than to do that to someone, so its not a fear worth having.
But when you're 15 and closeted, underage and horny, you don't really want anyone you know finding out. You come up with crazy unrealistic concepts that someone that knows you WILL find out even though they never will.
And then he found out.
Both of us had shirtless pics, neither of us had faces. Both said 19, neither of us were telling the truth. Both of us agreed to meet up and neither of us said a word to eachother today at school.
I mean thats not unusual, per sè - we don't run in the same circles. We aren't 'geek-captain of the football team' far apart, but he is on the rugby team. And im not. He is on the school council. And I didn't even vote.
I'm not goth level outcast or anything, i just dont really have a big friend group. I dont excel in anything particular but im not in the burnout squad. I get by, then I go home. I dont work out, I don't study hard, and I dont fit in with cliques. I've got my best friend Eric and our friend since forever, Janie. I know other kids, we get along, but I don't socialise with them. I have my people, we're just a small crew.
I was sitting at home that afternoon when I got a tap, followed up by a message asking how I was. Typical weather talk, then out of the blue, he just said "Sia is just a knockoff Hannah Montanta."
Its not easy to respond to that, so I didnt. After a minute, the replies flooded in.
"I know it sounds crazy but I'm pretty sure I'm right"
"They both have the blonde wig right?"
"Both with a somewhat secret identity bc they both want a 'normal' life?"
"Both sing pop music and both are huge worldwide stars"
"Sia totally ripped off the Hannah Montana blueprint and didnt even do the honour of being as good which is sad, but yea, Sia tried to pretend to be Hannah Montana and thought we wouldnt notice."
"But i did"
"Sorry if im rambling"
All the messages within seconds of his last, he definitely was rambling, but I wasn't complaining. He sounded cute and funny in an odd way. He'd clearly given lots of thought to his Sia Montana theory.
"Don't be sorry" I responded at last.
"I mean it makes sense, and I KNOW Hannah could do Chandelier, while Sia could NEVER do Nobodys Perfect."
He sent a laughing emoji back, and I sent a winky one back. The messages slowly started slipping into flirty messages. Then they became plans to meet up and maybe do.. something. It was up in the air, meeting tonight but no solid plan on what after meeting. Both wanted to hookup with the cute guy on the other end of the phone, but they also weren't sure what the other would look like, how they'd be in person, if he'd notice they didn't look quite as old as they claimed.
And so thats how they had their first conversation. Never really spoke at school, never saw eachother elsewhere. And now they know stuff about eachother that almost no one else in the world knows.
"I listened to a couple of songs from that Ricky guy you recommended.."
The notification popped up while I was walking home from school. Only a fifteen to twenty minute walk home. I ended up being 3 hours late getting home that afternoon. It started with just that little message.
"What'd you think? It's ok if hes not your taste, just be honest"
"What makes you think he won't be my taste? I liked them. I loved Line Without A Hook"
"Really? Thats one of my favourites!"
"I know, you told me last night. I remember aha"
"Right, sorry." I sent the emoji with the monkey covering his face with his hands.
He sent back a laughing emoji, telling me not to be.
"You get shy a lot, I noticed it last night. You don't need to be shy with me."
"I know.. i can't help it. Its like an automatic reaction anytime... well, just, anytime aha."
"Anytime what?" Followed by a smirking emoji. "Anytime your blood pressure rises?"
My face immediately started going red, and I couldn't help but thank god he couldn't see me. I wasn't sure what to say in response, and I felt flustered so.. I said nothing. I put my phone in my pocket, put both of my hands in there too, to try to bulk my pants out in front of me and look normal. Kept on walking home. A minute later my phone buzzed.
"Sorry if that was a bit far... I'll stop with the flirty messages."
"You dont have to... I just didn't really know what to say back to you. Got kinda embarrassed but it's fine!"
"Well I wouldn't want you blushing all the way home now, would I?"
I sat down in the shade of a tree, at a nearby field. It was just to cool down and try to let saner.. less leakier.. heads prevail. Keep myself in check. The honest truth was that there was certainly a damp spot in my underwear right now, and I wanted to get myself under control. Not far off now, only about 5 minutes from home, then I could do whatever needed doing. I applied some light pressure where it was needed, and then rearranged myself, when I got another message.
"You aren't about to wank off right there, are you!?"
I looked around shocked trying to see where he was, how could he see me? There were plenty of cars driving past but there no way he could've been driving, seen that, sent that message, and still be in sight.
"Where are you? And no I wasn't, I was just itchy? Idk what you're talking about."
"What a shame, would've been a nice show..."
I got up and turned around, looking to see if he was hiding anywhere nearby, even going around the corner of the club events building for the field, to its parking lot. Nothing.
"Nope, not there, either."
I sat back down by the tree I had been at, and another message from him came through.
"Would be a real shame if someone had seen you with your hands down your pants when you were 'itching'"
A picture loaded through of me rearranging my junk when I had first sat down.
"Whats your favourite scary movie?"
He had to know now that I knew exactly where he was. The photo was taken from an above angle, and was almost directly ahead of where I'd been, which meant it was from an upstairs bedroom of one 2 houses that looked like they had that line of sight.
I replied with "Not Scream" and pulled a fingers to my wannabe blackmailer.
"No? Not a fan of the weird psychosexual homoeroticism between Billy and Stu?"
Another message followed shortly "Two guys that have a secret lust for eachother they know they shouldnt? Almost getting off on letting out there sick tendencies on others, just so they have a reason to be together and to share something as tender as a secret?"
I responded "their* sick tendencies"
He sent a laughing emoji back.
"I prefer Halloween, myself. Michael was always hotter than Ghostface."
"What a coincidence" he responded.
"I was just about to put that on, you should come inside and watch it with me so I dont get scared all on my lonesome."
I sent a rolling eyes, and a laughing emoji, then asked which hiuse he was.
"You just cross the road, I'll let you know which way to go. A boy that blushes like you knows how to follow directions, I'm sure." A smirk emoji.
He was confident, almost cocky. I won't lie, it was kind of hot to me.
Thank you for reading this far, hopefully if I get some good feedback, then part 2 will be up within a few days.
Again, if you enjoyed my story, flick me an email on discord3231@gmail.com and tell me what you thought of it. Even if you dont enjoy the story, still email me, I can take constructive criticism if you're cute!