Flight 12

Flight 12 – a serial novel by Travis Creel

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE: THE THREE FACES OF GARY

Previously:

• Seth is required to fuck one of the Twelve each day. After Tim's departure on the 23rd, his options are limited to Jasper and Gary – Seth doesn't want to use Gary because of his multiple personalities. Jasper, `scheduled' to arrive underground on December 29, persuades Gary to take over his role when he leaves. As Seth is fucking Gary, a dodecagon appears nearby and captures Jasper.

[Author's Note: This chapter picks up just after the events described above, although the previous chapter included events underground a day later. Also, I'm well aware that the events in this chapter (and elsewhere) are an egregiously inaccurate depiction of dissociative identity disorder. Hoping you'll cut me a little slack for my psychiatric transgressions. I mean – this is fiction, right?. Artistic license and all that? – T.C.]

FLASHBACK – GARY (KANSAS CITY) – August, this year

• Gary, I've been informed that your uncle Atticus has just been released from prison.

• . . .

• Has he tried to contact you?

• . . .

• How do you feel now that he's out?

• . . .

• Gary?

• . . . Guess again, doc.

• Ray.

• Happy to see me? I'm always happy to see you. If you'd lift your ass out of that chair I could see your most attractive feature.

• Ray, do you have any reaction to his release?

• He's probably upset. I'll bet ol' Atticus got some high-quality booty in stir, doncha think?

• You think he enjoyed his time in prison?

• Hell, yes. All those fish primed to become punks. I'm a bit jealous, to tell you the truth.

• You sound like you admire your uncle.

• Why not? Seems like a real man to me.

• He murdered his lover when you were twelve.

• So they tell me.

• You don't remember.

• I wasn't there.

• Gary was there.

• Was he? You'd have to ask him.

• I was going to, but he disappeared.

• Well, that's Gary for you. Total fucking coward.

• • • • • • • • SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29 * * * * * * * *

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

As nervous as Gary had been beforehand, he genuinely seemed to enjoy the ride. Behind me, I vaguely heard Jasper grunting, as if vicariously joining in the fuck, but I was so concentrated on driving my cock into Gary's virgin hole that it barely registered.

• Congratulations. You are one good fuck.

• (Gary) Thank you Seth. I wasn't sure I would like that, but I did. Jasper, did you . . .?

But Jasper was not there. Before I could process this, Sean (whom I had asked to give us privacy) came running up to us. What the hell?

• You call this giving us privacy? You were supposed to go for a walk.

• (Sean) I kept my distance.

• (Gary) Where's Jasper?

• (Sean) You didn't see what happened?

• Don't tell me that –

• (Sean) While you were fucking, the vermillion dodecagon appeared right here.

• It got him?

• What do you think?

• I think you could have stopped it.

• Seth, he's supposed to be underground.

• Gary, I'm sorry, I –

• (Gary) What the hell just happened? My ass is sore as hell. What did you two do to me, you goddam perverts?

Dammit. Gary's gone; hello, Cody. I wish I understood where Ray and Cody had come from. What had happened to Gary that had made them necessary?

FLASHBACK: GARY (LUBBOCK, TEXAS) – twenty-three years ago

• And then what happened, Daddy?

• And then, since he was three years old – just like you – the magic cow granted him three wishes. Which, being a wise little boy, he saved up for when he really needed them.

• Tell me another story. About the magic cow.

• I'll do better than that. I'll give you your own magic cow. Well, it's not really magic. It's a toy cow. A stuffed animal Mommy got for you.

• Wow! Thank you, Daddy!

• What are you going to name it, Gary?

• Can I name it anything I want?

• Anything you want. It's your cow.

• . . . I'm going to name it Cody.

• That's a nice name. Why Cody?

• It was in that other book, the man named Buffalo Cody.

• Buffalo Bill Cody.

• A buffalo's a cow, right?

• Not exactly.

• Well, I think it's a cow. And I'm going to name him Cody.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

• I'm taking a walk. My herd's somewhere on this island and I'm going to find them.

• Cody –

• Don't try to stop me. I don't know how you talked him into it, but you ain't doing that to ME.

He stomped off, his gait awkward.

• (Sean) Cody! Here!

Sean ripped off one of his socks and tossed it to Cody.

• The penis gardens should be off, but just in case.

Cody donned the sock, nodded his appreciation – to Sean – and continued on his way.

• (Sean) He'll come back, Seth. He always does when he doesn't find his herd.

• He might not. He's worried that I'll fuck him tomorrow – which I have to.

• I'll see if I can order up a thunderstorm. Give him incentive to seek shelter at the Tower.

• You can do that?

• (smiling) I can do a lot of things, Seth. Including you, if you're in the mood.

• I'm not.

FLASHBACK: CODY (KANSAS CITY) – August, this year

• Cody, I want to explore when you first started living with Gary. What's your earliest memory?

• This is going to sound stupid.

• Go ahead.

• Smoke. I remember smoke. All over the dang place.

• That's the first thing you can remember?

• I don't remember anything before that.

• You might say you were born then.

• Maybe.

• And then?

• Then, I don't know. I was living with Uncle Atticus. I remember going to school sometimes – I was maybe six? Not a lot, Gary went to school most of the time. That's all I remember until I was about twelve. I've been with him ever since, pretty much.

• So something happened when you were six – something involving smoke.

• I think the smoke was earlier.

• And something happened when you were twelve.

• Not to me.

• To Gary.

• You'd have to ask him.

• Cody, at our next session, I'd like to try hypnosis, see if we can't recover those lost memories.

• Hell no, doc. You ain't doin' that mumbo-jumbo with me.

• It might help you find your cattle.

• . . . You think so?

FLASHBACK: GARY (KANSAS CITY) – a week later

• How old are you, Gary?

• I'm six.

• You seem troubled. What's bothering you?

• Uncle Atticus yelled at me.

• Are you living with him?

• Uh-huh.

• Why did he yell at you?

• A teacher called him to complain. She said I was pretending to be someone else.

• Who were you pretending to be, Gary?

• She said I told her my name was Cody. But I didn't. I wasn't even at school today.

• Where were you?

• I don't remember. But I'd have remembered if I was at school and lied about my name.

• Is the name Cody important to you?

• I used to have a stuffed cow called Cody.

• Used to. What happened to it?

• I don't remember. But Uncle Atticus knew about it and gave me another stuffed cow the next day.

• Did you name him Cody?

• I didn't have a chance. Uncle Atticus tore off his head and made me eat it.

• He made you EAT it?

• Uh-huh. It made me throw up.

• Gary, why are you living with Uncle Atticus? Where are your mother and father?

• I don't remember.

• Do you remember an incident involving smoke?

• No.

• Okay, Gary. . . . I'm going to bring you back to the present. . . . (a minute later) I think we made significant progress today. I want you to come back tomorrow – I'll clear space in my calendar – and continue this. We need to go a little further back into your childhood.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

Cody returned just before sunset. I decided to be deferential.

• Any luck?

• Luck?

• Finding your herd?

• Jesus, Sethy, do you think I'm fucking Cody? That puppy is sick, I tell you. So – today's the twenty-ninth – Jasper still here?

• No. A dodecagon got him.

• I thought you were protecting his ass.

• I thought so, too, Ray. But it appeared right about where you're standing.

• Shit. I'm going to miss Jasper. He has a nice ass.

• You had an active sex life in Kansas City?

• Hell, yeah. Not that the others ever knew. Cody – I think he'd fuck his cows before he'd touch another human being. Gary would take it up the ass if he had the balls to bend over.

• He had the balls this morning.

• What – you telling me he got himself fucked?

• He volunteered.

• Shee-it. Tell you the truth, Sethy, I felt a little sensitive in the old shit-chute myself, and was wondering why.

• Could I talk to Gary?

• So you can fuck him again? No way, dude. Not when we're sharing the same ass. You ain't seein' him any time soon, I'll make sure of that.

• You sure you can control that?

• Between me and Cody, we can. Yeah.

• You talk to Cody?

• Let's just say I'm aware of him. I know what he wants. And he won't want your dick up Gary's ass any more than I do.

With that, he retired inside the tower while Sean, who had witnessed this conversation from a few feet away, came over for a chat.

• (Sean) Sounds like Ray can't control Gary by himself, he needs Cody to keep him inside.

• That's how I interpret it. But how does that help?

• If we could get rid of Cody, I think we could get Gary to come out.

• Get rid of Cody? How the hell are we going to do that?

• Maybe by giving him what he wants.

• Huh?

• Let me make a phone call.

FLASHBACK: CODY (KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI) – July, this year

• So Cody, what makes you think your herd has been stolen?

• Do you see them anywhere?

• No, of course not.

• Well, then. They've been stolen.

• Cody, you're in my office. A herd of cattle wouldn't be in my office.

• Well, they're goddam somewhere, doc. All I need is to find them, and then –

• And then . . . ?

• I could rest in peace. I could go away. I wouldn't need to bother him.

• You wouldn't need to bother Gary.

• That's right.

• You would leave him.

• That's right.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

• So, Sethy, rumor has it that you and Sean play a little bury-the-bone. And you're the girl.

• . . . You can't believe everything you hear, Ray.

• (grinning) That wasn't exactly a denial, Mister Boss-man. You been cheatin' on your catamite Abe with ol' Sean, haven't you?

• Abe is not a catamite. He's my lover.

• And he's not here right now. While the mice are away, the cats do play, right?

• You've got that backwards.

• I think Sean's got you. . . backwards. Back door, anyway.

• Why are you asking me this, Ray?

• Because if you'll let HIM fuck you . . .

• (laughing) Dream on, Ray.

• Come on, Sethy. You're not really my type, but I'm desperate. I can't do Sean, he'd rat on me to his bosses. And since you ARE willing to be the girl, I thought –

He stopped, his gaze wandering over my shoulder to the meadow behind me.

• Ray, it's good you stopped that sentence, because the end of it wasn't anything I was going to –

• What the fuck???

• What? What is it, Ray?

• There's never been animals on this island. Not even a mosquito.

• Sparing us all from the threat of malaria. What of it?

• (pointing to something behind me) THAT.

I turned around to see what he was pointing at. Holy shit.

Or, perhaps more appropriately, `Holy cow!'

FLASHBACK: GARY (KANSAS CITY) – two days after last August flashback

• Gary, you missed yesterday's appointment. We're doing really important work now, it's important that you be here every day.

• I wasn't around yesterday. I think Ray had a painting job.

• Ray knew about this appointment, too.

• He makes most of our money, Doctor Lapidus. I don't know how I'd support myself without him. Cody could cover if Ray's not around, but I'm a terrible house-painter. Is this hypnosis thing really so important?

• It might be the key to everything. . . . (minutes later) I want you to go back to your earliest memory of Uncle Atticus. When you first met him. Let yourself go back in time, you are six, you are younger than six, you're not living with him yet, you're just meeting him.

• Yes.

• How old are you, Gary?

• Four.

• Is Uncle Atticus with you?

• Uh-huh.

• Who else is with you?

• Daddy.

• What are they doing?

• They're fighting.

• Fighting? About what?

• Mommy. I think she's sick because Uncle Atticus said she was hot. Daddy said Uncle Atticus should leave her alone, and Uncle Atticus said that was okay by him, he'd rather do men anyway.

• Do you know what he means when he says that?

• Unh-uh. I think it means fight them. Because Daddy and Uncle Atticus got in a big fight and started hitting each other. And Daddy fell on the bed.

• And then what happened?

• Uncle Atticus told me to leave, or he'd take away Cody.

• Cody, your stuffed cow?

• It's my cow! Daddy gave it to me, he can't take it.

• I understand, Gary. And then what?

• I left.

THE PHALLIC TOWER - SETH

There was a calf grazing on the meadow.

A calf. As in, a juvenile bovine creature. This one appeared to be of the Jersey variety. I turned to Ray, who was trotting out toward it.

• Ray?

No response. I watched as he neared the calf, who seemed unperturbed by his approach. He stopped, stroked the calf's back, then knelt down to embrace it around the neck.

No wonder he didn't respond. That was not Ray – the appearance of the calf must have triggered the transition to Cody.

The only other inhabitant of the Phallic Tower approached me with satisfaction.

• I see my little experiment was a success.

• That's what you meant by `giving him what he wants'?

• Yep. I'm going to order up the rest of the herd.

• How did you know what his herd looked like? It could have been Holstein or Black Angus or –

• Hell, Seth, CODY didn't know what it looked like. What this proves is that Ray is not as strong as he thinks he is. We've mostly seen Cody come out when there was something that made Gary uncomfortable. Now he's come out for his own sake, when he saw something he wanted. Ray can't control him. Ray may not be the strongest of the three.

• Cody is.

• And if Cody goes away, it gives Gary a chance.

THE MEADOW – CODY

I've never been so happy in my entire life. The pursuit of my herd has finally come to an end. I saw that calf – that little helpless calf, alone without its mama, grazing in the grass. And I had to take care of it. It needed me. It needed protection. What if it wandered onto a penis garden?

It was so wonderful to see that calf – I just knew the rest of the herd had to be around somewhere. But I couldn't leave the calf. I thought about the parable of the Good Shepherd, who leaves the flock to go after the one lost sheep. I couldn't leave my one calf to pursue the flock.

I must have gotten lost in thought, because all of a sudden I heard lowing. And when I looked up, there it was! The herd was a mere hundred yards away. The whole damn herd!

I ran back to Seth to share my excitement. He said Sean had arranged for me to get my herd back. I approached Sean and thanked him and explained to them both that I was going to leave.

• (Seth) You're leaving?

• Gary's going underground on Monday, and he'll take me with him. I can't leave the herd here by themselves. They need me.

• Where will you go?

• Back to the ranch. Back to Texas.

• (Sean) That's an excellent idea, Cody. You go on ahead. I'll send the herd after you.

• You can do that?

• (Seth) He got them here, didn't he?

• Wow. Thank you so much, Sean. Say goodbye to Ray and Gary, won't you? Though I don't think they care for me much.

• Will do. Good luck.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

I had never seen Cody so radiant, so joyful. When I thought about it, I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him smile. Well, he was sure smiling now, romping in the fields for one last time with a set of Beta-cows.

THE MEADOW – GARY

What was I doing in the meadow with a bunch of cows around me? COWS? On this island? It's like I'd wandered into Cody-world. Maybe that's exactly what had happened. But how did they get here?

And then, in an instant, they were gone. Was it just my imagination? Probably. I felt very insecure, not knowing what was going on, and headed slowly back in toward the Tower.

And then it struck me – I was not right. Something was missing. There was like a big void in my head, I just didn't feel normal. I felt weak and was aware of Ray's presence, getting stronger and wanting to take over. But Cody . . .

Cody wasn't there. At all.

It was like a giant space had been cleared out of my head. Things became suddenly clearer. There was just me and Ray. I couldn't ever communicate with the others, but I always knew they were there. And Ray was still there – but Cody wasn't.

He was gone. Completely gone.

It felt so liberating. I didn't miss him at all.

FLASHBACK: GARY (KANSAS CITY) – two days after the last flashback

• . . . Why did you go into your mother's room?

• She was yelling. Uncle Atticus was hurting her.

• How was he hurting her?

• He was lying on top of her and hitting her. And he didn't have any clothes on.

• What did you do?

• I told Uncle Atticus to stop hitting Mommy. And he hit me and knocked me down. And then he got up and his wee-wee was broken.

• Broken?

• It wasn't hanging down like it's supposed to. It was sticking out.

• And then what?

• I ran away. I didn't want him to hit me anymore.

• • • • • • • • SUNDAY, DECEMBER 30 * * * * * * * *

THE PHALLIC TOWER – RAY

Gary usually accedes when I want to take charge. Probably that's because when I want to take charge there's often something sexy is going on, like a nice view of somebody's ass. And since Gary is a catcher and not a pitcher – and, more importantly, a wuss – he lets me take control.

But this morning he seemed stronger, and I wondered why. Then it hit me: Cody wasn't there. What the fuck happened to Cody?

Whatever. No way I was going to let Gary out this morning – Seth wanted to do him up the ass again, and THAT was not going to happen. I figured to spend most of the day in the woods, where they couldn't find me. You ain't getting MY ass, Sethy.

FLASHBACK: GARY (KANSAS CITY) – one day after the last flashback

• How old are you, Gary?

• Four.

• Is Uncle Atticus there?

• Uh-huh.

• And you smell smoke.

• Yes.

• Okay, Gary, I want you to go back a little further that same day. What did you see?

• . . . I don't like this.

• Okay, Gary, it will be okay.

• I'm scared.

• You'll be okay, I promise. What do you see?

• Uncle Atticus and Daddy are yelling. Daddy was saying to leave Mommy alone. And Uncle Atticus laughed and said he'd leave her alone from now on. And Daddy said why are you laughing' and Uncle Atticus said you'll see'. And then Daddy hit him. And that made Uncle Atticus real mad and he said he'd kill Daddy and his folking kit. I don't know what a folking kit is.

• I think he meant you, Gary. Then what happened?

• Uncle Atticus hit Daddy hard. And Daddy fell on the bed and wasn't moving. And then Uncle Atticus started taking off Daddy's clothes. And he told me to leave.

• Did you?

• No. I told him to leave my daddy alone. And then he said he would show me what a real man was and started taking off his own clothes. And his wee-wee was all broken again and he climbed on top of Daddy and put his wee-wee into Daddy's bottom. And Daddy started to yell.

• What did you do?

• I went to get Mommy.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

Sean and I were waiting for him. We weren't sure which version of Gary we would see this morning. I hoped it was Gary, and prayed it wasn't Cody. I was hoping Cody was gone for good.

Gary/Ray/Cody emerged from the tower. He looked disappointed to see us.

• Well, well, well, what have we here? A welcoming committee, here to wish me good morning. Mighty nice of you.

Shit. Ray.

• (Ray) If you boys don't mind, I'm going to find that banana grove. The ones we got here are turning brown.

• (Sean) Maybe later. We have business to attend to first.

FLASHBACK: GARY (KANSAS CITY) – continued

• You went to see your mother.

• . . .

• Gary?

• . . . She's not moving. She doesn't answer.

• Is she asleep?

• There's a knife stuck in her.

• . . . A knife?

• I took it out but she didn't wake up.

• Then what did you do?

• I went back to get Daddy. But Uncle Atticus was kneeling on him and his hands were around Daddy's neck. He was shaking him, and then Daddy didn't move anymore. Uncle Atticus saw me – and he got real mad. And he started to chase me, without his clothes on.

• Where did he chase you?

• To my room. I wanted Cody, I wanted to hold him.

• Your stuffed cow.

• Uh-huh. But Uncle Atticus grabbed him away from me. And then . . .

• And then what, Gary?

• He took Cody and (starting to cry) he ripped his head off. He ripped Cody's head off! (sobbing) And then he . . .

• Then he what, Gary?

• He shoved it . . . He shoved it up my heinie.

• He shoved the cow's head up your rear end?

• (crying) It hurt!

• I'm sure it did, Gary. But . . . take your time . . . how did the fire start?

• (sobbing)

• Take your time.

• . . . He . . . He grabbed my hand and went into the kitchen and he got this can out and he took me back to Daddy's room and poured it all over Daddy's back. And then he took Cody and poured it all over Cody. And then he . . . (sobs)

• Then he what, Gary. This is important.

• He struck a match and lit Cody on fire. And he threw him on Daddy's back. And Daddy started to burn up. I was screaming and he smacked me across the mouth and told me to shut up. And then he took the can and he threw it on Mommy and then all around the house. And then there was smoke everywhere and it was hot. And then . . . I don't remember any more after that.

FLASHBACK – DR. LAPIDUS (KANSAS CITY) – October, this year

That session had produced a breakthrough – I now understood the trauma that led to the creation of Cody, if not Ray. While Gary had, under hypnosis, revealed the circumstances of his parents' death, he seemed ignorant of it in real time. In fact, he was shocked when I mentioned it, and said he must have been dreaming – Atticus couldn't have killed his parents or they would have sent him to prison then.

But the authorities hadn't known that Atticus Onslow had murdered his brother and sister-in-law. He'd claimed not to have been there, and was even seen driving up to the house an hour later along with his nephew. The incident was blamed on an unidentified intruder; no charges were filed. Gary had only two living relatives and Atticus, the only one in Texas, was given custody of the boy, even though he was only twenty-three. Eight years later when he was arrested for the murder of a man named Christopher Ford, allegedly his lover, the circumstances were so strikingly similar to those surrounding the deaths of Gary's parents that the earlier crime was reinvestigated, without resolution. Gary was transferred to the custody of his only other living relative, his mother's sister, here in Kansas City.

In Texas, there is no statute of limitations on any serious crime, much less murder. With sufficient evidence, Atticus could have been remanded to prison for murdering Gary's parents. But the eyewitness testimony of a four-year-old rendered under hypnosis would never be admissible and the case couldn't be prosecuted. I contacted the Texas authorities out of concern for Gary's safety; initially they said that Atticus Onslow was still resident in Texas, and as long as he remained so, he was no threat to Gary.

Last month, they informed me that he had purchased a round-trip ticket to Trinidad and hadn't used the return half.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

• So, Ray, ready for some early morning sex?

• (Ray) You think I'm going to submit to you? Fat chance.

• (Sean) If you don't, the Project will fail and you'll be in for the most miserable year of your life – and maybe the last one.

• (Ray) You mean Gary is.

• (Sean) If Gary dies, so do you.

• (Ray) You're bluffing.

• Well, if you won't let Gary out, why not Cody? Let HIM take it up the ass.

• . . .

• What? Is something wrong, Ray?

• Cody. . . . I can't find him.

• (Sean) That's because he finally found his herd. He left with them.

• You're shitting me.

• (me) No, we're not. And we're not shitting you about the sex.

• Just you try it.

• I will. We will. I think Sean alone could probably take you – I KNOW I can, and the two of us together?

• Okay, okay, you win. I'll let Gary get himself fucked, you're not doing me.

• . . .

• . . .

• What's the matter, Ray?

• . . . I don't know. Gary's staying inside.

• (Sean) We told him to. We want to do you, Ray, specifically you.

FLASHBACK: GARY (LUBBOCK, TEXAS) – fourteen years ago

My cock was all tingly and the feel of my hand on it was the most incredible sensation. I began to stroke it, calmly, thoroughly, and then less calmly and more rapidly. I was working myself into a frenzy, this newfound sensation being among the most amazing experiences of my life.

• You think I don't know you're beating your meat, boy?

Shit. I hadn't seen him come in. I released my cock and scurried to pull up my pants. He smiled at me, a nasty smile, and tossed me something.

• I got you this. Thought it might bring back some old memories.

I froze. It was a toy cow. It brought a tightness to my chest. I'd had a toy cow when I was little, hadn't I?

• You remember Cody, don't you, boy?

Cody. Yes, that was the name. I had loved that stuffed cow like it was my best friend. What had happened to it? Maybe I'd outgrown it and he'd given it away.

He tossed me the cow. Emotion poured over me. I don't know why, but I was suddenly filled with love for this cow. It struck some kind of chord in me that I didn't understand. I was starting to cry.

• Are those tears, boy? Crying's for sissies. Show me you're a man, son.

• . . . How?

• Look at the cow, boy. I tore you an asshole. Fuck it.

• . . . What?

• Fuck the cow. Come on, you were beating your meat, you want to shoot your load, shoot it into the cow. If you're a real man, you'd fuck a bull. But I don't see any balls on that thing, so it must be a steer. Fuck the steer, boy.

• Uncle Atticus –

• Fuck it, boy! That's an order. I'll make a man out of you yet. Fuck the fucking steer.

I knew that stuffed animals didn't have feelings, but I didn't want to stick my dick into it. It felt mean, it felt cruel, it felt –

• FUCK IT!

It felt good. I was horrified, but it felt good. I plunged my penis into the rear end of that steer, and manipulated it up and down my stiff rod, the excitement picking up where it had left off minutes before, and building. And at the same time, I hated it. I loved it, I hated it, I felt such guilt as I felt such pleasure and then things just started whirling around until . . . I blacked out.

FLASHBACK – RAY (KANSAS CITY) – September, this year (two weeks after Gary's hypnosis session)

• Glad you showed up, Ray. It's been a while.

• Can't stay away from you too long, doc. You're too pretty. Why don't we just forget all this talking shit and just fuck? You like it up the ass, don't you, doc?

• Ray, what's the first thing you remember? Your earliest childhood memory.

• That's easy. Fucking.

• Your very first memory is fucking?

• Well, not a guy.

• A girl?

• (snorting) Hardly! A girl, jeez – how disgusting.

• Then what?

• A stuffed cow.

• How old were you?

• Twelve.

• And you don't remember life before that.

• Doc, is there life before fucking? If there was anything, it's not worth remembering. But I don't remember anything before fucking that stuffed cow.

FLASHBACK – RAY (LUBBOCK) – fourteen years ago (moments after Gary's flashback)

God, I loved it. I was pure sensation, pure drive, pure pleasure. It was very strange because I had no memory of anything at the moment, it was like being born, and if life was all like this, it would be fabulous. I kept stroking that cow and shoving it onto my dick, faster and faster, harder and harder, as Uncle Atticus looked on, grinning, seeing the pleasure I was deriving from the experience.

• See, boy, I knew you had it in you!

And then I shot my wad. It made the steer all sticky inside, but I didn't care. It was the most wonderful experience – fucking – and I wanted more of it.

THE PHALLIC TOWER – SETH

Ray stared at the two of us, knowing I was right that we could take him. He took two steps backward, then pivoted and started sprinting. He was fit, and I was bulky but not slow – and Sean got a quick start and ran him down after about fifty yards, leaping toward his legs to fell him like a strong safety tripping up a wide receiver just short of a touchdown.

I caught up to them a few seconds later and pounced on his back.

• Okay, Ray, you're not going anywhere. You're going to get fucked, like it or not.

• Gary! Gary, you like this!

There was a pause.

• What's the matter, Ray, he's not rescuing you? What do you think, Sean, should I fuck him dry or lube his hole with some spit?

• (Sean, enjoying this) I don't know, ordinarily I'd say fuck him dry, but – just in case Gary does pop out, better lube him up.

• (Ray) Fuck you, Seth!

• (Sean) I've always found it ironic that men about to be raped always call out `Fuck you'.

• (Ray) Fuck you!

• (Sean) Case in point.

Sean sat on Ray's back, facing me, while I positioned myself behind Ray's upturned buttocks and pushed his legs apart. I parted his cheeks and spit several times into his hole, massaging it with my finger while he squirmed his displeasure. I was going to enjoy this – I always enjoyed fucking, but doing it to Ray was going to give me extra pleasure. I maneuvered my cock into his crack and pressed it against his hole.

• No, please!

• Sorry! (I didn't mean it.)

In it went. My long, thick cock penetrated the same tight asshole that it had plumbed yesterday, and yet Ray felt like more of a virgin than Gary had. I knew it was all psychological, but as I slid my length up his anal canal, I felt like I was having sex for the first time.

• Oh, God, it hurts!

• Gee, I should have told you to push back like you're shitting. It would have made it easier.

I plowed away at him for several minutes, having a good time, when suddenly . . .

• Oh, God, that felt so good, Seth. Why did you start without me?

I stopped in mid-ass.

• Gary?

• (Sean) Go away, Gary. Bring Ray back.

• Why?

• (Sean) He needs to experience this.

I didn't know why, but I sensed this was true.

• Oh, shit, I'm back. Seth, stop fucking me!

• Welcome back, Ray.

• This is . . . Something weird is happening.

• Yeah, it's called taking it up the ass.

• No. . . Something weird in my head. I . . . I remember stuff.

FLASHBACK: RAY (LUBBOCK) – fourteen years ago (continued)

• Good job, boy. You fucked that steer real good. Now it's time for you to fuck a human being.

• You want me to fuck a person?

• Sure. My friend Chris likes taking it up the ass. But first, you're going to find out what it feels like.

• What?

• Take your pants off, Gary.

• I . . . I'm not Gary.

• You're not Gary. Are you playing games like you did when you were six, pretending to be a boy named Cody?

• I . . . I'm not Cody.

• Well, whoever you are, take your fucking pants off.

THE MEADOW – SETH

• What did you remember?

• I . . . not as long as you're fucking me.

I think he meant for me to stop fucking him. I chose to interpret it as he'll explain after I've bred him. So I continued plowing his ass until my sperm built up to the boiling point and then gushed all over the inside of his soft comforting rectum. He grunted his disapproval the whole way, and as I got closer I drove into him harder and harder and his protests grew stronger and stronger until he started to cry. Ray, macho Ray, was crying.

• Okay, Ray, now spill it. What did you remember?

• I . . . Uncle Atticus did something I don't want to talk about. I resolved never to let myself get . . . to have that happen to me again. And it didn't . . . until now. . . . It brought back other stuff.

• What other stuff?

• Chris was my uncle's boyfriend. Uncle Atticus made me fuck Chris. I liked fucking Chris. But when they wanted to do stuff I didn't like, I let them do it to Gary. If Cody was around, he'd disappear the moment anybody mentioned taking clothes off.

• Cody was there? He came back when you were twelve?

• Came back? I thought he was born then, like I was.

• No, he was with Gary from the age of four. For a while.

• Whatever. Chris lived on a farm, and we started having our games out there. Three-ways, Uncle Atticus called them. And he always made me bring my stuffed cow and fuck it before we did anything. One day I refused and Uncle Atticus got mad and said if I didn't fuck the cow he'd have a cow fuck me. And he stuck his hand into a cow's vagina and smeared it all over my asshole. And then he brought in this bull . . .

• Ray, I don't want to hear this.

• It didn't happen, what you're thinking. At least, I don't think so. I blacked out in the middle, and when I came to, the bull wasn't anywhere around. And Chris was all bloody. . . .

• How did he get bloody?

• I don't know. . . I do. I was there.

Wait, he had just contradicted himself.

• You do or you don't?

• I do. Ray doesn't.

• Gary?

• Yeah.

• What happened?

• I didn't remember this until just now. Chris pulled the bull off me before he could do any damage – at least I think so because I didn't wind up in the hospital. And Uncle Atticus got mad at Chris and picked up a pitchfork . . . Oh, yeah, I remember that, too.

• Ray?

• Yeah, I remember now. . . . So do I. . .

• Wait, who am I talking to?

• Gary. Ray.

• You're BOTH there?

• (Gary) We both remember. Uncle Atticus picked up the pitchfork and stabbed Chris with it. And Chris died. Then Uncle Atticus poured lighter fluid on Chris. It was just like my father. He burned down Chris's house.

• (Ray) Only this time he didn't get away with it. They caught him.

• (Gary) He made me get dressed though so they didn't know about the three-way.

• (Ray) And you weren't about to tell him.

• (Gary) You weren't, either.

This was incredible. The two of them were talking to each other as if they were in separate bodies. I was astonished that after a while I could tell who was whom. Sean was marveling at it, too.

• (Sean) You're both here, and you're both conscious.

• (Ray) Confusing, isn't it?

• (Sean) What if you merged?

• (Gary) Merged?

• (Sean) Ray, you like active sex. Gary, you like passive sex. They're both part of you. You're both sexual beings. It looks like you've both accepted that – that's why Cody isn't here anymore. He was the part of you that pretended sex wasn't important. But it is, just in different ways. If you merged, you could enjoy both kinds.

• . . . (Ray) I'll think about it.

[COMING UP NEXT: CHAPTER FORTY-SIX – APPOINTMENT(S) WITH DESTINY]