Fraternity Memoirs

Fraternity Memoirs Part 15, Christmas Break

As always, if you are under 18 or it is illegal for you to be reading this, than stop right here. This story contains male to male sexual content. All rights to this story are held by the author and should not be posted anywhere besides Nifty without my consent. OK, enough of the legal mumbo jumbo, back to the story...

Christmas break was totally depressive. My Mom was still a mess. She was really depressed and cried everyday. Being that my Grandparent's lived on the same block, my Mom felt guilty that her Mom's death was somehow her fault. Not that she could have done anything, but somehow she's convinced herself that she could have. `If she just would have stopped by or something, things could have been different.'

My Mom had stopped cooking dinner altogether, leaving my brother, sister, Dad and I to fend for ourselves. The house was a mess, she didn't get out of bed most days, and none of us were cleaners. My Mom was a live at home Mom, and she always did all the cleaning, cooking and the laundry. We tried, but the house was still a mess and our clothes far from pressed.

Christmas was really a downer without my Grandmother around. It was like we were all walking through the motions of the Holiday, getting together, opening gifts, and dinner and all. But the emotion wasn't there. Pretty much someone was crying at all times throughout the day.

I couldn't wait to get back to school. Don't get me wrong, I was really upset myself, and I felt really bad for my Mom. I spent a lot of time in bed with her trying to get her to come to her senses. But I could only take some much of the depressive atmosphere. I needed desperately to get away and get past this.

The first few weeks of being home, my Mom wouldn't let me go out at night. She said that it wasn't right to go out and drink with my friends just after my Grandmother died. So I was stuck in the house playing Play Station with my younger brother. I was going batty.

Finally, a few days after New years, my Dad said that it was OK to go out. Thank God. I so needed to be social and get my mind off death and sorrow. It was cool catching up with my buds from HS. I hadn't really had the chance to hang with any of them since Thanksgiving.

I was the only one who had pledged a Fraternity, so they all had a good time visiting each other at everyone's schools. I hadn't visited anyone, nor had anyone visited me. I was given a hard time about it at first, but things seemed cool after awhile.

I blamed it all on pledging. But I promised that this semester I would stay in better touch with everyone. They had met my Brothers at the funeral and thought that they were really cool guys, so they said they would definitely come up for one of our Fraternity's parties.

One night, while we were out at some bar, whom did I run across, but Bobby Mulholland. If you recall, Bobby Mulholland was that guy from the track team from our HS who went to Marist with my bud Mike. Over Thanksgiving Break Mike had told me that he had heard that Bobby was gay, even though he had a gorgeous girlfriend throughout HS.

Although I new Bobby in HS, it was never more than a hello and a few questions about some classes that we shared. His family had a cabana on my court in the Beach Club, but he was always with his girl off at the beach or the pool. When we walked past him in the bar, I said hello to him, but moved to some other section of the bar with the rest of my friends.

My cousin tended bar at this place, so I could pretty much drink for free. We all pretty much drank for free. We'd drop $20 each on the bar and he would take out some money here and there, but whatever was left was for him, so he didn't take much. You have to know the area, but under age drinking was pretty common, and not difficult at all to get into a bar.

The night went on and we were getting pretty drunk and having a blast. We kept doing shots of Lemon Drops. The bar played a lot of drinking party music like, Come on Irene, Sweet Caroline, Call Me, My Sharona, good bar juke box music.

It was pretty much like a HS reunion. As I said, I was one of the most popular guys in HS and spent much of the night chatting it up with a lot of people that would come up to me to see what was going on. Most of it started with, "Sorry to hear about your Grandmother." I guess they were being polite, but I was really trying to get it out of my mind.

The weirdest thing was coming back after a semester and talking to all the girls that I had fooled around with or fucked. Most of them were a year or two younger than me, and were now seniors in HS. Many of them were interested in getting it on again, I could tell. But I wasn't going to fool around with a HS chick now that I was in college.

I couldn't help but look over at Bobby every once in awhile. I was curious to know if what Mike had told me was true. I didn't see his GF with him. I was looking for something different about him. But he seemed just as I remembered him. Not a gay thing about him that I could see.

As the night went on, and the alcohol took effect, I found myself staring at Bobby more. He was a really good-looking guy, like 6'2" and real trim from track. He had brown hair and brown eyes and was a total prep. I remember seeing him without his shirt all the time at the beach club. He had the typical runners body, defined and tight. He had a Tom Cruise look about him. They weren't twins or anything, but the resemblance was definitely there.

I felt this strange need to talk to him. I had to find out if it was true. I don't know how I would do so, but I wanted to see if maybe, he was kind of like me. What `kind of like me' meant, I don't know. It was all still so confusing, the urges I felt. Bat maybe he could help me get through them if I could understand what he went through.

I told the guys that I was going to up to the bar and talk to my cousin for a few minutes. Did anyone need anything? A pitcher of red death, cool. Conveniently, Bobby was standing up at the bar with some of the other guys that I recognized from my HS track team.

I made my way up to the bar where Bobby was standing. As I was waiting there, a bunch of the track dudes stopped their conversations to say hello and see what was up. We made small talk for a while. They asked if I was playing any kind of ball at college, and I said that I wasn't. I told them that I pledged a fraternity and what not. A few of the guys were thinking about pledging my Fraternity on other campuses.

Eventually, we ran out of things to talk about, and some of them started talking amongst themselves. My cousin came over and I ordered a beer and the pitcher of red death. Bobby was standing with his back to the bar, to my left. I nudged him with my elbow.

"Bobby, you need something?"

He looked at his almost empty Corona. "Yeah, I'll have a Corona."

I felt kind of strange. My heart was fluttering a bit, and I felt nervous. What was that all about?

My cousin came over with the two beers first. I gave the Corona to Bobby and he did the thing with the lime. I'm pretty much a Bud guy myself.

"Thanks Walsh."

"No problem. The bartended is my cousin, so it's free anyways."

"If I would have known that, I would have been hanging out with you guys all night," and he smiled. He had a nice smile.

"Hey, listen," he continued, "I heard about your Grandmother and all. I remember her from the Surf Club. I'm sorry to hear about her death."

There it was again. "Thanks Bobby, it was really a shock, but I'm dealing with it. So is your family getting the cabana again this summer?" I asked.

"Of course. They love that place."

"Cool."

"So you going to work there again this summer?" he asked.

"I think so. I can't think of any better job to do," I replied.

"Dude, you have the best job of anyone."

"Yeah, no complaints from me. Next summer I'll probably have to get serious like with an internship or something. But for now, another summer in the sun is cool with me."

There were a few seconds of awkward silence, because this is typically where our conversation would end and was the extent of our friendship. Yet I didn't want to go just yet, but I had no idea what to say.

Thankfully, he spoke first. "So, I heard you talking about pledging. Was it hard?"

"Yeah it was. Most nights we got like 3 hours sleep and we pledged for like 12 weeks."

"12 weeks?"

I told him a little bit about my Fraternity and how we were kicked off campus and didn't have to follow campus rules and what not.

"So you running track for Marist?" I asked.

He was, and he told me about his season and how good he was doing. We talked for a while, and I was really enjoying our conversation. The more I talked to him, the more I realized how cool of a dude he was, and I wished that I had known him better.

I also noticed just how good looking of guy he was. His girlfriend is beautiful, like I said, so he had to be a stud to get a chick like that. I just never took the time to notice. Hell, I never had the thought to notice till now.

I was about to get the nerve to ask him about his girlfriend, thinking that may be a good way to get to what I was really after. It was cool just talking to him, and I almost forgot what my intent was. But Mike walked up to us.

"What's up Bobby?" and he gave Bobby a nod, but looked immediately away from him and at me. I noticed that Bobby kind of froze up and shifted his stance a little.

"You get those shots Walsh?"

I hadn't noticed, but I looked at the bar, and the steel pitcher was standing there, beads of water sweating off it, a pile of plastic shot glasses next to it.

"Yeah, right here," and I passed them to Mike. But Mike just stood there.

"Aren't you coming?" Mike asked me.

"Well, I was right in the middle of a conversation here," I said. I was beginning to feel Mike's negative vibe on me.

"We were all going to do a shot together, so I think you should come," he said.

As much as I wanted to keep talking with Bobby, I sensed what was going on here. And I didn't want to get caught up in the middle.

"Alright," I responded. I turned to Bobby and held out my hand. He grabbed it and shook my hand. He had a nice grip, which I realized lasted a few seconds longer than in the past.

"It was cool catching up with you," Bobby said.

"Yeah Bro, you too. Tell your family I said Hi."

"Will do. If I don't see you before the end of the break, see you this summer," Bobby said.

"All right. Later."

Mike and I walked away from Bobby over to our crowd. I felt bad for leaving. It was definitely a strange moment back there. Mike and I were like best buds, but he could be a total ass at times.

"Dude, you owe me one," Mike said.

"Owe you one?" I asked.

"Yeah, saving you from that queer," Mike said, matter of fact-like.

"What?"

"Don't you remember what I told you?"

"Mike, we were just talking." I said.

"Dude, I looked over a couple of times, and he was totally looking you up and down, like you were a chick or something."

I wanted to say `Really?' I hadn't noticed at all. But instead I said, "Dude, you're crazy, or fucking drunk. I think whatever you heard up at your school is wrong. He was totally cool."

"Na-ha. It's the truth, man. It's all over campus. I even saw him in the cafeteria with the Dude."

I was so done with this conversation. What was the point anyway? "Well, whatever. He was still cool and we were just talking. Let's do these shots and forget about it."

"All right, but you still owe me one, you just don't realize it."

"I owe you one for something that didn't happen or wouldn't happen, but here's your credit," and I pretended to flip a fake coin in his direction. Like we always did, he pretended to catch it in the air and put it in his pocket. No use in getting into an argument over something that I didn't want to get into.

I looked over at Bobby and saw that he was watching the two of us talk. When we caught eyes, he looked away. I felt really bad. I assumed that the strangeness between Mike and Bobby was that Bobby knew that Mike knew. And now Bobby knew that I knew. But what he didn't know was that I already knew (ha, ha, is that confusing, or what?). What he didn't know was that maybe, and I mean maybe, I might be interested.

We did our shots and went back to hanging out with everyone. I was feeling kind of horny, and the prospect for chicks was looking kind of dull. As I said, I had hooked up with a bunch of the girls in the bar in the past, and I was looking for something new.

My eyes kept going over to Bobby. We were playing this weird eye game. I'd catch him looking; he'd catch me looking. I felt kind of embarrassed. As horny as I was, Bobby was looking pretty good. But I couldn't do that. I needed to find a chick.

I was having a blast, dancing a little, talking to a bunch of people, drinking too much. Part of me wanted to go talk to Bobby again, but with Mike around, I didn't dare talk to Bobby again. I was so torn. I won't go through the complications that were going through my mind, we've been there already, as I am sure you have, but I kept thinking a blowjob is a blowjob. Yeah, I was horny.

The bar typically stayed open till about 4 AM. About 3:30 in the morning, the place started to empty out. I was hanging at the bar with my cousin when my crew decided to take off. I decided to hang a round a few more minutes and finish up my drink. I had my Moms car, so I didn't need a ride.

As I said good-bye to Mike, the first though that came to mind was where is Bobby?' I looked over to where he had been standing, and he was no longer there. I perused what was left at the bar, and I didn't see him anywhere. Probably better anyways,' I thought to myself. Looks like I'd go home and jerk off.

I finished my drink and said laters to my cousin. He wanted to know how I was getting home, and I told him that I had my mom's car. He wasn't hearing that. He wanted my keys. I gave a little bit of a fight, but there was no use. I had wrestled my cousin dozens of times, and he always won. I handed them over and he called me a cab. He'd drop the keys in our mailbox on his way home.

I figured I would wait outside for the cab, getting some fresh air in me before I stumbled into my parents' house. It would help clear some of the smoke off my clothes. As I opened the door and stepped outside, I noticed a car running in front of the bar and a horn honk. The passenger side window rolled down, and I heard my name called.

I didn't recognize the car, but I walked up and who was it but Bobby Mulholland. My heart began to beat a little faster again as I realized who it was, and to be honest, my dick started to chub up a little.

Trying to act cool, I said, "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, I was on my way home, but something was bothering me, and I wanted to talk to you about it." He seemed a little nervous.

"Talk to me about it?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you were here or not still, but I figured I would take a shot. I was afraid to go into the bar in case Mike was still there, but I saw you talking to your cousin through the window, so I figured I'd wait till you came out."

"Well, my cousin took my keys from me, so if you want to talk, how bout you give me a ride home and we can talk then."

"Cool, jump in," he said and unlocked the doors. As I got into the car, I noticed that my hand was shaking and I was suddenly extremely nervous. I was getting myself into something that I wasn't sure I wanted to do. What did he want to talk to me about? I mean, I knew what he wanted to talk about, but what did it have to do with me?

As I closed the door, Booby took off and there were a couple of moments of silence. I didn't know what to say. For the second time, Bobby broke the silence.

"So did you have a good time tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm bombed off my ass, but I had fun."

"I'm surprised that you don't have anyone coming home with you," he commented.

That struck me as a little odd. I wasn't aware that I was known as a player enough that it would seem odd that I was going home alone. Sure, I had my fair share of ladies, but not an every night thing.

"Dude, these old high school chicks just don't do it for me anymore. Been there done that. They're nothing compared to the chicks at college."

"So college been good to you in the chick department?" he asked.

"Well, they been more than good to me at the beginning of the semester, but then pledge season started, and I didn't get any."...any but a little with one of my fraternity brothers, but that's for me to know and not anybody to find out.

"How about for you?" I asked, more out of reflex. As soon as I asked it, I realized that I wished I hadn't.

"When we first left, Sarah and I were still going out. But she went to Florida State, and it was real far away. I didn't cheat on her, but there were a lot of prospects. After a month of being in school, we decided that we should see other people and see how things are when we got back during Thanksgiving Break."

"And?" I asked, my heart rate continuing to rise.

"We broke up for good," was all that he said.

"So is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"

"It's good, I think. I mean, I miss her and all; we went out for like 3 years. But things are kind of different for me now, so it's better, I guess."

There was a lot of uncertainty in his statement. I think I knew what he was saying, or not exactly saying. I only lived like 5 minutes from the bar, and before I knew it, we were at my house. I could tell from Bobby's face that he wanted to talk more. I didn't know if I should, but I asked him...

"Do you want to come in?"

"Will your parent's mind?" he asked, shyly.

"I don't think so," I answered.

"OK, but I won't stay long. I just need to ask you something."

"Cool," I said as I opened the car door. As I got out, I needed to make a little adjustment to my crotch. I was half hard.

We went into the house and into the den. He took a seat on one couch, and I on the other. I asked him if he wanted to take his jacket off, and he did. We put MTV on and talked about U2. I remembered that he was a huge fan of them.

I felt the need for another beer and asked Bobby if he wanted one. He said sure. I went to the kitchen and grabbed two of my Dad's beer. Pabst Blue Ribbon. The man made a lot of money but still drank crap. I opened the cans on my way back to the den and passed one to Bobby.

"Sorry, no Corona."

"The Blue Ribbon," he mocked, "My pops drinks this too."

We sat there drinking our beers and watching MTV. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to avoid the subject all together, yet I was totally intrigued. And turned on. Should I ask him what he wanted to talk about? I wasn't sure that I had the nerve. I was feeling uncomfortable, so I just asked...

"So you wanted to talk about something?"

Bobby took a long sip of his beer and said, "Yeah, I do, but I don't know how to talk to you about this."

I didn't know if I should play stupid or not. Should I help him out? This may sound evil, but part of me was getting a thrill of him sweating this out. I decided to let him come out with it on his own.

"You're cool, right?" he asked.

I was taking a sip of my beer as he asked, and his question seemed so funny that I laughed, squirting beer out of my nose. "Yeah, I'm cool," I said and laughed more trying to catch the beer that came out of my nose.

Bobby didn't find it as funny as I did, so I tried to serious myself up. I could tell that he was struggling with what to say, and I began to feel bad for him.

"Did umm...tonight umm...when you and I were talking, umm...when you left with Mike, ahh...did he say something about me?"

And then I didn't want to be here anymore. I was just beginning to grasp that this wasn't a game, and that Bobby was probably really concerned about what Mike might have said to me. This was his life after all, and I was deathly afraid to be in the same position that he is in right now.

"Yeah, he did," was all that I said, and I didn't even look him in the face when I did. I didn't want to see his reaction.

"What did he say?"

"He said that you were..." and I looked at him in the eyes, "...umm, gay."

"Fuck!" he said, a little bit too loud, since my family was sleeping. His head dropped a bit, as if in defeat. I just remained silent.

"Did he tell anyone else?" he asked.

"No, not that I am aware of. Nobody else has said anything to me about it."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew this was going to happen," and Bobby shook his head. He looked like he was almost going to cry.

Just then, my Mom yelled down from upstairs... "John?"

"Yeah Ma?" I saw Bobby look at me with shock in his eyes.

"You OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Is somebody with you?"

"Yeah Mom, a friend from High School who gave me a ride home."

"Alright, well, try to keep it down, we're sleeping up here."

"Ok Mom, good night."

"Good night."

I rolled my eyes at Bobby, and that seemed to bring a slight smile to his face. I noticed again just what a nice smile he had. I took another sip of my beer, and with that, it was empty.

"I need another one," I said, shaking my beer, "I think you do too."

I didn't give him time to respond. I just got up and retrieved two more beers. When I cam back, Bobby looked eager to speak.

"I know you're cool Walsh, you seem to have this way about you that makes people feel comfortable. That's why I think that I can talk to you about this, even though I'm scared as hell.

"What Mike told you tonight, he's right. I mean, I don't know if I'm...well, you know, or not, but I have been like, well, messing around with this guy up at school. And I figured that Mike probably knew, because he was studying with this chick on my floor," he started.

"Mike and I started hanging out a bit when school first started, and then we didn't see each other for awhile, cause I was like hanging out with this guy. People on my floor started talking about it, they were cool and all, but I knew they were talking about it, so I thought that Mike might know, but I wasn't sure.

"Then I saw Mike around campus a few times but he like totally blew me off and wouldn't even talk to me, so I got the feeling that he knew. I was nervous as hell when we came home for Thanksgiving, wondering if he was going to say something to anybody. But I didn't see him at all over the break, and it seemed like all was cool.

"Then he was like a complete asshole to me tonight and totally took you away from our conversation. I saw you two talking afterwards, I knew he was telling you and I totally freaked. Dude, if my friends found out, or Sarah, OR MY DAD, fuck," and he shook his head again.

I couldn't believe that he was telling me all this. It was what I wanted to know, but I didn't think he would be so forthcoming, you know? But he didn't need to say anything more. I knew exactly where he was coming from and more than understood.

"Bobby man, you don't have to worry about me saying anything to anyone, I promise."

"It's not you that I am worried about. I know Mike is like your best friend, but the guy's got a big mouth and I'm worried about him."

"Actually, I told Mike that he should keep this to himself and not tell anyone, that it was none of our business."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"And he said he would?"

"He did."

"So you really don't think he has told anyone else?"

"I don't think so. Not tonight at least. Nobody has said anything about it to me."

Now, I left out the small detail that Mike and I had this conversation not tonight, but over Thanksgiving Break. But Mike never brought it up again till tonight, and as far as I could tell, none of our other friends knew. So I think he took what I said to heart.

"I'll talk to him about it again tomorrow, just to make sure he doesn't," I added.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course," I said, trying to act cool.

"Thanks Walsh." I could tell from the look on his face that he was totally relieved and grateful.

"Dude, don't worry your secret will be safe," and I winked at him. "Mike can be an asshole, I know, but he's a good guy. He won't say anything, I'll make sure of it."

"You don't know how much better I feel right now," and his body gave this sigh of relief.

I got up to grab a couple of more beers. You're probably thinking damn, how much does this dude drink? Once I get started, I put `em away fast. I don't even realize it sometimes.

I passed Bobby another beer that I'm not certain if he wanted, but he took it anyway. I took a gulp of mine.

"So you going to treat me different now, the next time I see you?" he asked. He seemed to be egging me on; I didn't get the sense of true concern in his voice. He was probably just feeling me out, to make sure all was truly cool.

"Naw Dude. I don't care. I mean, I am a little shocked and all, but it makes no difference to me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you know, you have...I mean had, this hot girlfriend and all."

"Yeah, I know. But I've kind of felt unsure about her for awhile though."

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah, I don't know. I've kind of had these thoughts about guys for the last couple of years."

"Oh," I said.

"We don't have to talk about this if it makes you feel weird John," he said.

I didn't mean to be so short with my response, I guess he got the idea that I didn't want to hear about it, but I did.

"No, actually, I'm interested." It was hard for me to say that, but I did.

Bobby went on to tell me, without being vulgar, that he really liked Sarah when they first started going out. He had no attraction to guys what so ever. But then one day, things just started to change for him. He started noticing guys a lot more in the shower, and he started having sexual thoughts about the guys on the track team. He wasn't too worried about it, because of his girlfriend, who he still loved messing around with.

He kept stopping and asking me if I really wanted to hear this. And I did. He didn't know it, but I was totally getting hard listening to him talk, even though he didn't say anything exactly sexual. Each time he asked, I told him to continue.

He said it started to get difficult taking showers after practice because he would totally get hard and it was quite embarrassing. He hadn't had sex yet with Sarah, but he pretty much pressed her into it his junior year. He thought if he started having sex, he would stop thinking about guys. It didn't work.

"Can I have another beer," he asked. I was totally mesmerized with his story.

"Ah, sure, they're in the fridge," I said. I was afraid to get up because I was rock hard and I didn't want Bobby to see. I had been kind of imagining Bobby sucking my dick as he was talking, and wasn't aware of it till he asked for his beer. I have this bad habit of zoning out and dreaming, but still listening.

"Do you need another one?" he asked.

"Definitely," is what I said. My hormones were beginning to go into overdrive. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen tonight, but my libido wanted something. And it was taking over. That, and the alcohol.

He came back with the beers. I was still sitting on the couch and he brought the beer over to me. I took a gander at his crotch, and it looked like my friend Bobby was sporting a little wood himself.

He took a seat back on the other couch, but this time, he was sitting on the side closest to my couch. Without even asking, I watched him kick off his sneakers and pull up his feet under him, so he was sitting on them.

"So did you ever mess around with anyone in HS?" I asked, starting the conversation back up.

"No. I thought about it, but never did anything. I was so confused. I mean I loved Sarah, but I found myself constantly checking out other guys. And the sex that Sarah and I was having was good, but...I don't know, it seemed like there was something missing."

"Yeah, it was missing a dick," I joked. I wondered if Bobby would find it funny. He did, and he laughed pretty hard. I was glad.

"It's awesome that you and I can sit here and talk about this. I haven't had anyone to talk to about it. I knew you'd be cool about it, but not this cool."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't disappoint you."

I turned to watch the TV for a moment, and I could feel Bobby's eyes on me. I don't know how this is going to happen, but I had the strong feeling that if I wanted it to, it would.

"So I feel strange asking you this," I stated, "but what was your first experience with a guy like?"

"Awesome," was how he began, and not what I was expecting. I thought he would be a little bit more ambivalent about it. "It was everything that I had imagined and then some. Don't get me wrong, I was scared as hell at first, but once we started making out, oops, I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear that much detail..."

"No, go ahead," I said when he stopped.

"You want to hear about it?"

"Well, you've told me pretty much everything else, so you might as well finish it," I said, kind of in self-defense. I felt suddenly like I might be asking too much, more than the average "straight" person might.

He started at the beginning. When he first left for college, he and Sarah were still together. He left a few weeks earlier than everyone else because of track. I remembered the going away party that his parents had thrown him at the cabana. He came home to see her off, both of them in the mindset that they would remain together.

Everything was going well at first and they spoke like on the phone every day and night. He had opportunity to hook up with other girls, but he remained true to his girlfriend. Besides, he said, he wasn't looking for another girl. If he was going to cheat at all, it was going to be with a guy. He thought that maybe if he tried it once, he would get it out of his system and everything would go back to the way it was.

An opportunity presented itself one weekend. His roommate was inviting over some of his friends who went to neighboring New Paltz, and his roommate told Bobby that one of his friends was gay, was that cool? That they would probably stay over. Bobby said it was fine, but he got really excited.

So his roommate's friends came up, and as Bobby put it, `his gay friend was really good looking'. They were hanging out all night and drinking. Everybody else had pretty much passed out but the two of them were still awake and in his drunken stupor Bobby told the friend that he had always had this fantasy of hooking up with a guy, but that he has never done anything.

They went to the lounge and hooked up. "I don't know if this is too much for you to handle, John," Bobby said, "But it was the best blow job that I ever had."

Too much for me to handle? Not really. I knew exactly where he was coming from. It couldn't have been better than Kevin's, I thought.

They went back to the room and crashed. The following morning the dude gave Bobby his phone number. The next week it was all that Bobby could think about, and he wanted to do it again without having to think about cheating on Sarah.

So Bobby called Sarah and said that he wanted to take a break. They argued over it for a few days, but eventually they agreed to take a break till Thanksgiving Break. Bobby never mentioned that he was with anyone, especially a guy. He felt bad, but he thought that he was doing the right thing by Sarah. I guess he was.

The next day he called Patrick, the guy he fooled around with, and they have been `hanging out' ever since.

"Wow," I said, "So you are like dating this guy?"

"No," Bobby replied, "I like him and all, but we're more friends that hook up than dating. I don't know if I can handle dating a guy yet."

"So does your roommate know about this?"

"We tried hiding it at first, but when Patrick called looking for me all of a sudden, there wasn't much we could hide. He's cool about it though. He gives the room to us when we need it."

"Well, that's definitely cool of him," I said.

"Yeah, I guess. Its weird for me, that like, he knows, but it's cool."

"So Sarah still doesn't know?"

"No way. I don't want her to ever find out."

"So you think you are gay then?"

"God, I don't know. I think about it all the time." (Dude, I'm right with ya, I thought.)

"Are you still attracted to girls?"

"Yeah, I haven't been with another girl since Sarah, but I look at girls all the time and think they are hot. I just don't want to complicate things right now. I figured I would stick with this while I'm enjoying it and then see what happens. What do you think?"

"Me? I don't know," and I once again found myself repeating what Kevin had said to me, "Just because you fooled around with a guy, doesn't mean that you are gay." With all my heart, I wanted to believe that. I wasn't sure that I did, but I wanted to.

"Really? That's kind of how I feel, but I think that Sarah would think different."

"Well bro, Sarah is hot and all, but she's like your HS sweet heart, and there are so many other fine looking fish in the sea. So who cares what she thinks about it."

"Very true. How bout one more beer, and then I'll take off. I'm so glad that we could talk about this, I don't want to go," he said with a huge smile, genuine. I was definitely finding myself attracted to this guy.

How about you putting my dick in your mouth, part of me thought. But I could never bring myself to say such a thing. "Yeah, one more for the road sounds cool."

As he left the room I stood up and stretched. Did I want to do this? Yes, I did. But how? There was no way that I could make the first move. I needed a plan, damn it. All too soon, Bobby came back into the den, just as I was pushing my hard dick in another direction so it wasn't so obvious that I was hard. I felt my face go kind of red.

"I'm going to take a leak, OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, the bathroom is up the hall, on your left."

I was so embarrassed. I took a seat, finished the rest of my one beer and opened the other. Lord I was wasted. I heard the flush of the toilet and Bobby came back into the den. He had taken off the sweater he was wearing, and tossed it by his jacket.

"So what about you?" he asked.

"What about me," I asked back. My heart, which had calmed down, began to flutter again, and butterflies returned to my stomach.

"You remember Mr. McCormack from sex ed in HS and how he used to say that it was normal for everyone to have homosexual fantasies?"

"Yeah, that guy was like totally a fag, ooops, sorry," I said, catching myself.

"So you ever have a fantasy about being with a guy?" Bobby asked, going right past my stupid comment and apology.

And here was my golden opportunity. I love it when a plan comes together. But this wasn't a part of a plan that I had put together. I thought I'd have to make the move on Bobby, but was he hitting on me?

"You're cool, right?" I asked, playing off what he asked earlier. He totally got my joke and cracked up. The alcohol was on and so was I.

"Dude, I'm totally fucking cool," he said. He was cool.

"Yeah, I've thought about it a couple of times."

"You have?" he asked, shockingly, almost gleefully.

"Yup."

"Come on. Tell me more than that, I just told you everything."

I wasn't ready to admit all to him, but I figured I would share a bit. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but when I was pledging, we went camping. It was this whole Trust a Brother theme, learning to rely on you Brother and shit. So they made us jump in this lake naked, so we were freezing. Then they made us share a sleeping bag with your Pledge Brother, naked, so you had to use each other's body heat for warmth."

Yeah, the alcohol was certainly working its magic. This was the most forthcoming that I had ever been on the subject.

"Wicked, so what happened?" he said, focused in on my every word.

"Well, me and my Pledge Brother Kevin had to sleep together naked, our bodies intertwined all night for heat. We both had hard ons since we hadn't gotten any action in awhile with pledging and all, like I was telling you in the car." My dick bounced a little bit just thinking about Kevin in the sleeping bag.

"Did you guys, like hook up or anything?"

I didn't know if I should tell him the truth or not. What if I was reading Bobby wrong, and nothing happened here? Cause if I had to make the first move, probably nothing would happen here. Then he would have on me that I had hooked up with a guy. I thought he was cool and all, but you never know. I decided the best thing was to say no.

"No, we didn't. But I thought about it all night. And sometimes I still think about it, his muscles pressed against mine, and the heat between our bodies. But you can't tell anyone about this." Yeah, I was trying to turn him on.

"I promise I won't. Do you think that you would ever hook up with another guy?"

"I don't know. Part of me says that I would, but that may be just because I'm drunk," I said.

"You know, I used to fantasize about, no never mind," he suddenly stopped.

"What?"

"Nah, you don't want to hear this. I'd definitely be sharing too much," he said.

Whatever he wasn't telling me, I definitely wanted to know. I hate when people start to say things, and then stop. It drives me crazy. And I had this feeling that whatever he was holding back was gonna be good.

"Whatever is said here tonight stays here. Come on, please tell me," I asked.

"God, this is so embarrassing," he said and took a gulp of his beer. "Well, some nights I would sleep over the cabana. And when I would wake up in the morning, I would open up one of the doors and watch you as you raked the sand in front of the cabanas without your shirt on..."

"Yeah?" I asked. This guy was totally making me hot. I don't know who was hitting on who, but at this point, I really didn't care.

"I'd watch you for awhile the mornings that Sarah wasn't around, and then I'd hop back in bed and fantasize about you being all sweaty and hot. And I'd ask you if you'd want to come into the cabana for a cold drink. And you'd say yes. And then when you got in the cabana, I'd close the door behind you and push you down on the bed. I'd lick all the sweat off your chest, and well, you get the idea," he said, suddenly shy and beet red from embarrassment of sharing that with me.

"Oh my God," was all I could say. My dick was trying to break through my jeans.

"What? I've gone too far, haven't I? I knew it was too much to share. When I drink, I say way too much."

"No, Bobby, it's cool."

"Maybe I should go," he said.

"You don't have to go."

"Yeah, I should go. I drank too much." He looked scared. What did he think, that I was going to beat the crap out of him?

It was now or never. Bobby stood up and I stood up with him and grabbed his hand. We were standing eye to eye, him just slightly taller than me.

Surprising myself, I said, "Bobby, don't go. I want you to stay. Look what your story did to me." And I took his hand and held it against my stiff dick.

He just looked into my eyes, feeling me out, looking for a hint of encouragement. I rubbed his hand up and down my jeans, over my erection. His eyes moved from mine, down to my crotch and back up to my eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I shook my head in affirmation. As hard as my dick was, I couldn't get the word `Yes' to come out of my mouth. I wanted to, but I couldn't verbalize it out of fear.

He didn't ask twice. His hand had been limp in mine as I rubbed my dick with it. But his hand quickly came to life and started rubbing me on its own. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into his lips.

I felt his tongue enter my mouth and we made out heavily for a few moments. There was a raw intensity about our kiss, a sexual magnetism that was finally released. I didn't quite know what to do with my hands, so I did like I would with a chick, I put them on his ass and squeezed.

As I did so, he moaned a little bit and grinded his dick against mine. He was wearing khakis, that gave a little more room than my jeans, and I could feel his dick pushing against them and now rubbing on my dick. We rubbed up against each other as we continued to assault each other's mouths.

His hand came off the back of my head and I felt him tugging at my tucked in T-Shirt. His slightly cold hands made their way up my shirt and found my pecs. He rubbed his palms over them a few times, creating a friction heat and I felt my nipple go hard. I groaned into his mouth as we continued to make out. I had a million thoughts running through my head, but one stood out. What I was doing was wrong, but I loved it because it was wrong.

His hands went to my back and he slid one up and through the neck of my shirt, grabbing my hair and pushing my lips harder against his. With the other hand he explored the small of my back and pulled my crotch tighter against his.

This was fucking intense. I needed to do something with my hands, so I pulled his shirt out and felt up his chest and back, along the sides, feeling his firm muscles and the tightness of his body. I immediately recognized that he had no breasts. That probably sounds silly, but it was what I was used to feeling as I went up a shirt.

It was different for sure, but hot all the same. It only added to the wrongness that we were doing, His nipples were smaller than mine, and I played with them with my thumb, feeling their erectness. He seemed to like it, moaning in delight.

I felt a little pain as he grabbed more of my hair and pulled my head back. It was a little rough, but I liked it. He took his mouth off mine and took my chin in his mouth and he sucked on it, rolling his tongue over my stubble. It sent a shiver up my spine and I grabbed his hips and pushed hard into his dick with mine.

He took his mouth off my chin and went for my neck, starting at my Adam's apple, biting, sucking and licking his way up to my ear. It felt amazing. I thought Bobby was so innocent, but this guy knew what he was doing. He held my head back by my hair still, but his grip wasn't so tight anymore. He went to the other side of my neck and continued his mouth job on my neck.

I left my hands on his hips, enjoying the immense pleasure that he was giving me. He stuck his tongue in my ear and with his other hand pinched my nipple. I gave an "uhhh" at that, and he knew he found one of my sensitive spots.

We continued that way for a while, between him sucking my neck and then making out, I was so turned on. The whole time he was playing with my nipples as we grinded our crotches together. Eventually, he took his hand out of the neck of my shirt and lifted it off.

He looked my bare chest over and said, "I can't believe we're doing this."

"Me neither," I replied.

"I want to this my way, OK? I want you to lay down on the floor," he asked.

"OK," I answered and did as he asked.

My parents have hard wood floors in the den, so the wood felt cold on my back as I lay down. I watched Bobby as he straddled my crotch, with his legs on either side of me. The weight of his ass on my dick felt amazing, and out of instinct, I grinded my dick against him.

He took my wrists in his hand and brought them up above my head, so that they were crossed above me on the floor.

"I want you to leave your hands like that, understand?" Bobby said as wiggled his ass on top of my hard dick, sending immense pleasure throughout my body.

"If that's what you want, yeah."

Slowly, he took his hands off my wrists and I left them just as he wanted. He pulled off his own shirt and threw it to the side. I looked at his chest. I don't think he worked out, but he was real trim from running He had runners abs, a real tight stomach. His pecs were defined, but not muscled.

I looked up at his face and he looked at me with desire as he watched me eye up his chest. He leaned down as if he was going to kiss me, but then stopped like an inch away from my lips. Instead, he moved back to my ear and licked just behind the lobe and then took it between his teeth.

His shoulder was right at my nose and mouth. I looked at his collar bone and his soft skin. I tuck my tongue out and licked him. He stopped what he was doing for a second, letting me lap at his exposed skin. He breathed hot air into my ear at the sensation that I was giving him, and that drove me even more wild. I sucked hard on his neck and he gasped..

He made his way lower, down to the nape of my neck, licking and biting till he came to my left nipple. He circled it with his tongue and brought his lips around it, sucking on it. God, he was driving me crazy. I tried to keep my hands where they were, but I couldn't. I brought them to the sides of his head, but he grabbed them and put them back where they were.

He played with my nipple a little more, but then licked his way to me side and up into my armpit. I never had anyone lick there before and sent shivers through my body. Then he surprised my by taking the part of your pec muscle that stretches to your shoulder in his mouth. He gently bit it a few times, playing with me, but then he dug his teeth in tight and I was stuck between pleasure and pain, holding my breath.

As he bit, he sucked hard, making the feeling all the more intense. As he let the grip of his teeth go, my stomach took a deep breath. He came up and brought his lips to mine and we kissed deeply, stubble to stubble. I went to move my hand again, but he was quick and moved his to hold mine in place.

My dick was rock hard and I was steadily grinding my dick into his ass. He took his lips off mine and said, "You taste absolutely delicious, just as I knew you would."

He repeated on my right side what he had just done with my left. First my ear, then my neck, over to my nipple, then to my armpit where he licked and sucked and then he bit into my pec muscle. Even though I tried to prepare myself, the feeling was intense.

He licked just about every inch of my chest as he made his way back and forth from nipple to nipple, each time working his way lower, to my stomach. I just laid back and enjoyed the tongue bath and pleasure that he was giving me.

With girls, it was typically me giving all the pleasure. But in this situation, It was I who was getting all the pleasure. Yeah, maybe that is selfish, but Bobby seemed happy and I was totally into being serviced.

He slid his ass lower down my body as he made his way to the waist of my jeans with his tongue. I had lifted my head off the floor and watched him as he twirled his tongue in my belly button, playing with the light treasure trail that I have with his tongue.

His chest was now pressed against my dick and it was straining to be released. He leaned up a little, and moved his hands around to unbuckle my belt. He did, and my dick pressed even harder against my jeans, knowing that he was about to be let out.

He unbuckled my jeans and opened the zipper. He kneeled up between my legs, reached behind him and grabbed the cuffs on my jeans. He started tugging on them, and I lifted my ass so that he could pull them off.

As he pulled them off, he lifted my legs just off the floor and my jeans slid right off. When out of my jeans, my legs fell back onto the floor, and I gasped at the coldness of the floor on the back of my legs. As he pulled of my jeans, my socks came off in the legs of the pants.

I was lying on the cold hardwood floor in only a pair of whit boxer briefs. My dick was standing straight up forming a tent in my boxers. He grabbed my bone with his right hand and jerked it up and down through my boxers.

"Mmmm," I moaned as I rested my head back down on the ground and enjoyed the pleasure that he was giving me. I felt him lay his chest back on the floor between my legs and his nose came to my crotch, just under my balls.

He took a long smell in through his nose, breathing in my scent through my underwear. After doing this a few times, he started licking the inside of my thighs, tickling the fine hairs that I have there.

I couldn't leave my hands over my head anymore. He was driving me crazy with his tongue and I had to do something with them. I brought them behind my head and starting playing with my own hair and neck as he continued to tickle me between my thighs with his tongue and lips.

Meanwhile, he still fondled my hard dick through my underwear. But then I felt him let go of my bone and grab the band with both of his hands. He pulled them down, over my pubes, pushing my dick flat, but bounced straight back up as the and crossed the head.

Again he kneeled up, grabbing the soles of my feet and pulling my legs up so that they bent at my knees. From there, he continued to slide my underwear all the way off. My balls fell between my legs, and were hanging kind of low so that they too were against the cold floor.

Bobby stood up, looking down at me, lying naked on the floor, my dick at full attention. I watched him as he unbuttoned his own khakis, pulling them down with his underwear, all in one swift motion.

As he stood over me, I could see his naked body, from his ankle to his head. He had really thick calves and thighs from running. He had basically no hair on his legs, just a sparse dusting on his upper thighs that got thicker as it made its way to his pubic hair.

His dick was standing straight out, fully erect. He wasn't huge in the equipment department, I noticed. He wasn't small or anything, but definitely smaller than me. If I had to guess, I'm about 7.5", so Bobby probably had 5 .5/6". He looked sexy standing there, the male form.

He pulled his dick a few times, looking me over, but then got back down between my legs again. He brought his face up to my crotch and I could feel his hot breath on my balls. I held my breath in anticipation, waiting for the blow job I had been thinking about all night.

"You're big," he said as he stared at my dick.

"Thanks," was all that I could think to say. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted him to suck my dick.

He grabbed my shaft and jerked it up and down slowly as he watched a bit of precum ooze out the slit of my dick. He pulled the precum down my dick with his fist, slicking up my dick and the hear of my dick swelled at the intense feeling.

He had a small look of confusion on his face, like he didn't know where to start. He pulled himself up a little further, so that his arms were now on top of my thighs and I could feel the sweat, heat and hair under his arms on them.

His mouth was over my dick and he opened his mouth, taking the head of my dick into it. He brought his lips around the head and swirled his tongue over it. He started with a slow pace, working my dick further into his mouth.

When he seemed to reach his comfort level, about half way down my dick, he started sucking harder and faster, using his fist to compensate for the half he couldn't get in his mouth. He was making a lot of slurping noises, and I found it a total turn on.

He was letting his mouth water a lot, soaking my dick with saliva and adding to the intensity of his blow job. I couldn't help but compare it to Kevin. It wasn't as good as the blow job that Kevin gave me by the tree, but it was still really good.

After blowing me for like 5 minutes, he brought his mouth off my dick and sucked on my ball and sack. I was really getting into it, he was making me go fucking crazy. He was feeding off of my excitement and was going to town, lapping and sucking like crazy. He was working from ball to ball, then opening wide and taking both of my balls into my mouth.

While in his mouth, he would roll his tongue over and around my balls, and jerking my dick off at the same time. I was getting close, no doubt. I didn't know how much longer I could last, but it wouldn't be long enough. I was really enjoying the suck job he was giving me.

Just as I was going to explode, he let off. He took my balls out of his mouth, but he didn't stop jerking me off, he slowed down. I guess he could feel my dick getting bigger in his hand, growing even more rigid, and that alerted him that I was about to shoot.

He took his arms off from on top of my thighs and slid them under my legs. He grabbed my legs just under my knees, lifting them up and then pushed my legs back so they were against my chest. My ass came off the floor a little, rolling back with my legs.

His nose was in my balls, and he lifted them up with one of hands, revealing what I guess people call your taint. I have to admit that I was very conscious all of a sudden that my ass was off the floor and now showing. And his mouth was only a few inches away. I grasped for air, not certain what to do.

He brought his tongue down on the skin between my balls and my ass and licked very slowly. It sent shutters through my whole body. This was undiscovered territory for me, and I had no idea that it could feel so fucking good.

"Oh my God," was all I could mutter as I looked to do something with my hands. There wasn't anything I could so, so I just clenched them into fists at the pleasure.

With each lick of the tongue, he went a little lower, getting closed to my pucker, and each lick went a little higher, slurping my balls. Sometimes he would slither his tongue up and between my balls and my thigh, sending me into the thrills of ecstasy.

I was breathing really hard and moaning, lost in the most intense feeling I have ever had. He brought his tongue onto my hole licked three times fast. I reach up and grabbed his hands that were holding my legs back, gripping on to them. He went a little lower than my hole, licking the crack and then stuck his tongue into my ass a little, playing with it.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I was going crazy with pleasure, sending waves of sexual energy through my body. He was eating my ass like a pussy and I didn't know how to handle the gratification. I've never felt anything like it.

"Oh my God, you feel so fucking good Bobby, but you have to stop," I breathed, "I can't take it anymore, I feel like I am going to explode!"

He continued tonguing my hole. I was rock hard and begging for him stop. It wasn't that I wanted him to stop, I just couldn't handle it.

"Bobby, God, Bobby, oh God, please, please stop," I pleaded.

One more deep lick, and he stopped. I was breathing so hard and he let my legs down. My hands fell to my side and I was beat in sexual bliss.

I felt him grab my dick and he swallowed it deep. I took a deep breath as took me in his mouth. I was caught off guard but ready to cum. I was rock hard, and I mean rock hard. My dick felt so stiff in his mouth. He started sucking on it like a wild man, using his hand and his mouth at the same time.

After 30 seconds of bobbing up and down and sucking my dick, I was gonna shoot. He didn't let up. In fact, he sucked even harder.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum Bobby, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna..."

My dick got even bigger in Bobby's mouth and the head swelled. He kept on sucking and I thought he was going to swallow me like Kevin did, but just at the last moment, he took his mouth off my dick and jerked it only once. I closed my eyes in delight.

I shot my fist glob and about a second later I felt the warm splat on my cheek. Bobby jerked my dick a couple of more times, and the second string shot out of my dick, landing on my neck. He was still jerking me and I shot another load, this one landing just left of my left nipple. One last one, dropping on my heaving stomach and I was emptied.

I laid there, lost in orgasm with my eyes closed and breathing deeply and rapidly. I felt Bobby moving around and he sat on my abdomen. I felt him jerking himself off on top of me. I opened my eyes to see him fisting his dick like there was no tomorrow.

He reached behind himself and grabbed my dick which was softening, but still hard. He just held onto my dick, squeezing it as he jerked himself off. He was breathing heavily as well.

I focused in on the head of his dick, which was expanding and his balls moved up his sack. I reached up with my hands and pinched his nipples, holding on to them and playing with them. I thought about jerking him off, but he was doing it at such a fast pace I didn't want to disrupt his rhythm.

"Here I cum," he warned and he picked up his pace even faster. I eyed his slit and watched the first spurt come shooting out and it hit me right in the chin. He shot like three more shorter spurts that soaked my chest with cum.

Bobby looked down at my face, he had a smile ear to ear, his eyes half closed and he was panting. He collapsed on top of my chest, smearing the cum between us. My breathing had slowed down, but still, our chests were expanding into each other.

I wasn't too delighted to have his cum on my chin, and I reached around him and wiped it off quickly with my hand. I searched for something on the floor to wipe it off my hand and I came a across an item of clothing. I don't know whose or what it was, but I used it.

"Wow, I can't believe that we just did that," Bobby said after a few seconds between breaths.

"I can believe, I got your cum all over my chest as proof," I mocked.

"And your own," he pointed out, "I love watching a guy cum but damn, you shoot far."

"Yeah, sometimes I get it in my own hair when I'm jerking off," I said.

Bobby laughed a little. "So how was your first time with a dude?" he asked.

"I have to admit Bobby, it was fucking awesome. You have quite a tongue there," I replied.

"I still can't believe that I did this, with, with you," he said.

"Yeah, well, I probably won't believe it in the morning either."

"You're not going to go like crazy on me or anything like the next time we see each other, are you?"

"No, I'm cool, remember," I joked.

"You're more than cool John. So if you enjoyed it so much, do you think that you may be interested in doing this again sometime?"

Do this again sometime' chimed in my ear. My first thought went to a date. You know, like taking a girl out for dinner or whatever, and then you wind up in bed together, and then afterwards, the girl typically says, I hope we can do this again sometime'. Reality began to set in and I realized what I, we, had just done.

And not just done, but done in my parent's house. While they were sleeping upstairs. What if they came down? Damn, that was fucking stupid. My Mom probably would have had a stroke. I was psyching myself out.

Bobby was still half laying on top of me, his jism still on my chest, with his head on my shoulder. Like he was snuggling or something. I became very self conscious and aware of the situation and it seemed a little too faggy for me. Yeah, I was beginning to freak out a little.

"We should get dressed," I said as I immediately stood up, pushing Bobby off of on top of me and dodging his question.

I grabbed for my jeans and stepped into them without putting my boxers back on. As I tucked my dick in, I could feel how wet my dick still was from the mix of Bobby's saliva and my cum. It was real slimy.

"Yeah, sure," Bobby answered me. He seemed a little surprised and disappointed in my quick move to get up.

He stood up and grabbed his underwear. I watched him as he slid them on, over his naked and now soft dick. Looking at it and thinking about what we just did, made my stomach a little nauseous.

I had an itch on my upper stomach and I went to scratch it. When I did, my hand came into contact with Booby's now cold cum that was there. It gave me the willies and I totally began to freak out. I shouldn't have done this. I reached for my shirt off the floor and used it to wipe his load off of my body.

Bobby was pretty much dressed, except for his sneakers. I so wanted him out of the house at this point. I felt bad. I knew that I was suddenly giving him the silent treatment, and I could tell that he was picking up on it. But as bad as I felt, I needed him to leave.

"I guess I should get going then," Bobby said, trying to act like this suddenly wasn't strange. He sat on the couch and started to put his sneakers on.

"Yeah, its late and I'm exhausted," I replied. I only had jeans on, my chest still bare. I felt naked as Bobby kept looking occasionally at my chest. I wanted to put a shirt on, but the one I had was, umm, dirty. So instead, I just folded my arms across the middle of my chest and stood watching him as he finished tying up his laces.

He went over to the chair where he had thrown his sweater and jacket. He tossed on his sweater and fished his car keys out of his jacket. He was ready to go and I walked him to the door.

"Well, if you want to hang out before school starts again, give me a call. My parent's number is in the phone book," he said as I opened the door for him. His eyes were on my chest again.

"Cool, I'll do that," I said. Yeah, I was lying. At that point, I had no intention on calling him.

"Thanks for talking, and thanks for...well, you know," he said with a tremendous smile as he stepped out the door.

"You're welcome dude. Thanks to you too," I said, trying to give a smile back.

It was an awkward moment. He seemed like he wanted to lean in and give me a kiss, but I didn't move. He stood there for a few seconds, and then turned and walked away to his car.

I was closing the door, when a concern came to mind. I stuck my head out the door and called his name. He turned around and took a few steps closer to the door, but not all the way.

"I know I don't have to say this," I said, "But I feel the need to. What happened here tonight, this is just between you and I."

He flashed me a smile again and said, "Walsh, you're forgetting, I'm cool."

As concerned as I was, I couldn't help but chuckle. He was cool. And for how I just treated him, I was the un-cool one.

I locked the door and felt the need for an immediate shower. As tired as I was, I had to get the remnants of the sex I just had off my body. I shucked of my jeans and stepped in the shower. I scrubbed my bodily pretty thoroughly thinking about another dude's cum all over me. I was so exhausted, that as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I was out for the count.

I woke up the next morning to my Father shaking me and wanting to know where the car was. I told him that Chris (my cousin) should have dropped the keys off in the mailbox and that the car was still at the bar. He seemed a little annoyed, but how pissed could he be. It was the responsible thing to do. I had to get up and ride with him to pick up the car.

After being up for a few minutes and my mind beginning to work, the events of the evening before came to me. I wasn't so grossed out anymore, but I was disgusted with myself for doing it. Not just `doing it', but doing it in my house with someone that is a little too close for comfort. I didn't harp on it. I told myself once again that that was the last time and then pretty much blocked it out.

As much as I hesitated doing it, I did what I said I would do. I ran over to Mike's later that day. I had dinner with his family and after dinner talked to him about Bobby. I left out all the particulars, just that Bobby and I talked after Mike left.

Mike was actually really cool about it and was also surprised that Bobby actually had the confidence to talk about it with me. Mike told me that I was the only one he had said anything about it to, besides people up at school. He said he wouldn't talk to anyone about it. I was proud of Mike, really.

About a week went by. I stayed in some nights with my Mom, the others I went out. I was kind of afraid to run into Bobby. I didn't, but I wasn't sure how I was going to act, or how he was going to act, if we did.

Then the phone rang one afternoon. I picked it up, "Hello?"

"Is John there?"

"This is John," I said, not immediately recognizing the voice.

"John, its Bobby." My stomach sank just a little and I felt nervous.

"Oh, hey Bobby, what's up?"

"Not much. I figured I would give you a call. I wasn't doing anything tonight and thought that maybe you would want to hang out or something."

Part of me did want to hang out and part of me didn't. I debated it for a second, but the part of me that didn't reminded me that I said I wasn't going to do `that' anymore and took over.

"I'm sorry Bobby, I can't. I already have plans for tonight (lie)."

"That's cool. I knew it was short notice, but I figured I would give it a shot." I could hear the nervousness in his voice, and the disappointment. "Maybe another night then?"

I hated to be out in this position. "I'm heading back up to school next Saturday, and I have to study for my finals yet and I want to spend some time with my Mom. So I don't know if I can, but if I have some free time, I'll give you a call."

"Alright. Well, if I don't catch up with you, have a good semester and I'll see you in the Surf Club this summer."

"Yeah, you too. Stay cool," I said. I didn't mean it as a reference to our "cool jokes" from the other night, its just something that I say. But as soon as I said it, I thought of it. IT reminded of my conversation with Mike.

"Hey Bobby, so you know, I spoke to Mike. He hasn't said anything to anyone else from around here and he said that he would keep it quiet."

"Oh, thanks Walsh. I feel so much better. I wanted to ask you if you did, but I was afraid to."

"Don't worry about it. Your secret is safe," I said.

"So is yours," he said. That comment caught me off guard and I didn't like it one bit. With that, we both hung up the phone.

I didn't call Bobby before we went back to school. I hadn't thought about how awkward it was going to be at work everyday when I saw Bobby in the Surf Club. You see, I was working under the impression that by the time summer came along, fooling around with guys would be a thing of the past. Little did I know that by the time the summer did come along, things would be very different.

To be continued...

Hey. Thanks everyone for signing up for the Yahoo Group. I can't believe 250 members in a week. Its cool to know how many readers of my tales there are. And I'm sure there are a bunch of you who haven't signed up, yet, hint hint. Anyway, some people have suggested a couple of Polls that they would like to see posted. I may work on that this week, I'll see. If you have any suggestions, let me know. The group URL is:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fraternitymemoir/

I'm still trying to catch up on e-mails, so bare with me. Please don't hold a grudge...