GOLD, INCENSE and MYRRH by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2005 written the 21st of February, 1994 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Brian
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"GOLD, INCENSE and MYRRH" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 6 - Somebody around the corner
Massimo didn't realize that somebody was coming - he could neither see nor hear anything.
It was a young man, slightly taller than him, wearing black jeans and a light lilac color padded jacket. He had a guitar hanging at his back. The young man heard Massimo crying. He stopped, surprised and hesitant - he didn't know if he should turn away without making himself noticed, to leave that stranger to his sorrow, or approach him and ask his reason for crying.
He never saw anybody so dejectedly crying. At least no one of Massimo's age. Sitting on a bench in a public garden in the middle of the night. He was about to change direction, for modesty sake, when something inside made him change his mind. He took the guitar hanging at his back and, without going any nearer, he leaned against a tree and started to play his guitar gently, looking towards the man. Massimo seemed not to be aware he was no longer alone, and continued his dejected sobbing. He slowly drew nearer, continuing to play a light sweet melody. When Massimo heard the music he raised his eyes filled with tears and looked at him. The young man continued to play.
"I want to die." Massimo murmured to the stranger that he barely focused through his tears.
"It happens to everybody, at times." The other gently answered continuing to play.
"I'm tired... so tired..."
"Yes, I understand you. At times I too feel so tired, inside me. Too tired tostruggle, too tired to live. But..." he said but didn't finish the sentence.
"Why?" Massimo asked.
The other didn't answer - that 'why?' was not a question for him, but that the other asked himself. Continuing to play lightly, he sat near Massimo, who put one of his hands over his face covering it, and tried to dry his tears.
Then the other said, sweetly, "No, cry without worries, don't mind me. Cry, you need it..! ."
"Who are, you?"
"One, who knows."
Massimo was still shaken, from time to time, by a strong sob. But he stopped crying.
"What is that song?"
"Au clair de la lune."
"It's beautiful."
"I'm pleased you like it, I hoped so."
"You hoped? Are you playing it for me?"
"Often music soothes sorrow. And you should have a huge sorrow, to cry so, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to tell me?"
"I don't know. It hurts."
"Sure, but..."
So Massimo started to tell the stranger the reason for his pain. But, different from previous occasions, his tale was now filled with emotion, often interrupted by his tears. He told everything, also his desire to die, his three attempts... and the story of the three kings, and he showed him the three gifts.
"And now, I don't know any more, if I would have the courage to try again."
"One doesn't need courage to die. One needs more courage to live."
"Perhaps it is as you say, I don't know. But now, I am completely alone."
"I too am completely alone. Why don't you come to my place? Possibly, we can share our loneliness..."
"You don't even know me."
"Neither do you, I. Or rather, I now know a little about you. As you don't have a place, you can come to my place. I was going back home. I live nearby, alone. It is not much but... Come with me, come!"
"Doesn't it bother you, knowing I am gay?"
"No, absolutely not."
"By chance...are you gay?"
"I never asked myself that question."
"What do you mean?"
"That up to now I've had various experiences with different people."
"What do you want to take me with you for..."
"No, I was not thinking of that at all. I'm offering you a bed, but not necessarily MY bed. I have two beds, at my place. I'm just offering you a bed and my friendship. And anyway I don't have much more to offer. Are you coming?"
"Yes, I'll come."
"My name is Gilberto."
"Massimo."
"Good, Massimo, bring your bicycle and come, then."
Gilberto led Massimo to his home. He lived in a single room bed-sit, in an Attic. In the room there were two small beds, and in one corner there was a sink and a small stove. There was a common toilet shared with the other bed-sits in the corridor, but there was no bath or shower. In the room, besides the beds there was a table with three odd chairs, an old wardrobe, a stereo on a shelf surrounded by records and CDs, and a small heater. The walls were plain just a few very colorful posters on them made it a little less drab.
"I sold almost everything, all that remains is what you see." Gilberto said as they entered, with an almost apologizing smile. Then he added, "You can sleep there. That one is my bed, Do you want me to switch on the heater?"
"No, thank you, I don't need it."
"Do you have enough blankets?"
"I think so. It's not very cold."
"Would you like to hit the sack now?"
"As you like."
"Well, first I will heat some milk. Before going to bed I usually drink a mug of warm milk. Do you want some? Or do you prefer coffee or tea? I regret I don't have sprits or beer."
"No, thank you. Warm milk will be just fine."
"I don't even have a TV for you to watch. I sold it. May I put on some music? What kind do you like?"
"What ever you like." Massimo said sitting at the table.
Gilberto put on a CD, then switched on the gas and put the milk on to warm. While they were drinking it, they talked, Gilberto did most of the talking.
Gilberto Marelli was twenty-six years old. The son of a teacher of classic Greek. But from his childhood he showed more interest in modern music than classical subjects, so when he was eighteen, he left his parents' house and went to live by himself.
He found a job almost immediately as assistant to a professional DJ in a Night club. When he was nineteen he had his first sexual experience. It happened with a young couple. He met the wife one night at the disco. She proposed a threesome as her husband also liked boys. He enjoyed this first experience very much. He continued in that relationship for about three years.
But then he fell in love with a girl, and left the couple. He went to live with her. While they were together, he found his first job as a DJ in a new night club on the outskirts of town. There was a bartender who liked him. He was a really handsome young man and Gilberto liked him very much, but he was in love with his girl, therefore refused the bartender's advances. Gilberto was a faithful guy. One night, the night club was raided by the police who found drugs on the premises, therefore the night club was shut for three months. Gilbert that night went back home earlier than usual - he was clean, so was released without charge. When he arrived home, he found the door locked from inside. He rang several times before she answered. He saw there was another man with his woman. Gilberto didn't make a fuss. He talked with her, tried to understand. He would even forgive her, but she decided to leave him - she evidently preferred the other man.
Thus he was single. When he resumed his job, he started to court the bartender, and they became lovers. The young man moved to his place. He loved making love with that young man. But their relationship lasted only two years. When Gilberto was twenty-five, the bartender left him for another man, a guy of Milano upper class, loaded with money. After that, besides a few one night stands he was alone. Eight months later the disco where he worked had been burnt down by the racket, and had to close. So Gilberto lost his job. He survived thanks to some savings he had, then by selling objects he had at home, and also earned some money playing his guitar on the streets or in the underground stations. That night Gilberto was going back home after he played in an underground station.
Massimo was still immersed in his sorrow that was deafly pulsating inside him, but he listened to Gilberto with pleasure. The young man had freshness, a way of talking and to reasoning that was at once simple and deep, and he felt fascinated.
They went to bed and Gilberto switched off the light.
After a while, Massimo asked in a whisper, "Are you sleeping?"
"No, not yet."
"Do you feel like talking some more?"
"Yes, sure."
"I... why did you offer me a bed?"
"I told you - possibly two lonely soles could comfort each other... and then... I don't know, but I feel I like you."
"You don't know me."
"You already said that. We will get to know each other, little by little. And as long as both of us feel like it, we can share this room."
"If you get fed up with me, you'll tell me, won't you?"
"Of course."
"I don't want to give you problems... with my sadness."
"It will pass, sooner or later, don't worry."
"It may not."
"Being two, everything becomes easier." Gilberto said.
Massimo felt the warmth contained in these words and in the other's attitude and was grateful. He recalled the three he met at the year's start, before Gilberto. All three of them, his three kings, gave him something, besides the real gifts he was keeping in his pocket. But he felt that Gilberto was giving him something more.
"Gilberto?"
"Yes."
"Thank you."
"For what."
"For existing." Massimo answered almost ashamed of his words.
Gilberto didn't answer at once, but after a short silence, said, "That is something we should all say to each other! But we are seldom aware we should. And even more seldom do we dare saying it."
"Dare?"
"Yes, because thanking another for existing, means admitting that one needs the other in order to recognize his own existence."
"I... yes, it's possibly I really need you to accept my own existence."
"Do you mean..."
"I'm not so sure I want to die, now."
"That is a first step."
"A first one?"
"Yes. The next being the desire to live."
"I see." Massimo thoughtfully answered.
"A step at a time." Gilberto said gently, then added, "And we both need some sleep."
But Massimo was not able to fall asleep. He finally was able to think, without feeling that confusion inside his head that had accompanied him for so many days. Rather, he could think with lucid clarity. The sorrow for Diego's loss didn't abandon him, but it was no longer clouding his mind. And he again cried, silently, almost sweetly - the sweetness that five years of Diego's love gave him. And he felt that Diego was alive inside him, just because he was part of him, and no one and nothing could take away from him that presence, not even Diego's death. He cried for a long while, but without despair. He was feeling pain, of course, but now it was a quiet pain. He fell asleep in this way, crying with a kind of serene acceptance to the loss of his beloved Diego, still hearing in the gentle sound of Gilberto's guitar there in the garden, that was like a caress.
He woke up, hearing slight noises. He opened his eyes - Gilberto was fixing their breakfast.
"Ciao." Massimo said.
"Ciao, well awakened, my friend." Gilberto said with a smile.
"How do you manage to wash yourself?" the boy asked, leaving the bed.
"Face and teeth here in the sink. Then in the afternoon they open the public baths, and if you feel like it, we can go there."
"I... I have no more money..."
"Oh, don't worry. The owner is a friend of mine, he always lets me have a free shower. Would you like to shower with me?"
"Together?"
"Well, I didn't mean... but if you want, together."
"But wouldn't he think it odd?"
"Who, he? No, he is gay, and he would not care at all."
"You and he..."
"No, well just once. We are just friends, now. I go to take a shower every two days, so I was thinking of going today."
"Alright."
When it was time, Gilberto told him, "You can change your clothes, if you like. Do you have any others?"
"I have nothing!
"You can use my clothes, for the moment. They should fit you. There in the wardrobe. Later we can wash the ones you are wearing."
"Thank you."
With the changes in a sack, they went to the public baths. When they entered, the owner greeted Gilberto.
"Hey, Gil, on time like always!"
"Hi Marco. Can you give us a box, for me and my friend?"
"Wow, did you get a new boyfriend? Handsome! Showering together, how tender! Then go to number 7. It's larger than the others. You'll be comfortable."
"He is just a friend, Marco, you think such thoughts of all people just because of what you'd do." Gilberto merrily answered taking the key and the soap sachets.
"No, I'm not thinking like that. But, two handsome boys like you, together naked, under the water... Well, see you later, boys. Take your time..."
They entered the box. They started to undress, and they looked at each other without false modesty.
"You have a really great body, Massimo."
"You too."
They started to wash themselves. At times they brushed against each other, not on purpose, without malice. They rinsed, dried themselves, dressed. Massimo, in Gilberto's underwear and clothes experienced a pleasurable sensation, like his new friend was caressing him. They were slightly too big for him, but not too much. They left the cubicle and went back to the counter to return the key.
"What, you are already out? So you really just washed! What a shame!" the owner said.
Gilberto giggled, without answering.
On their way back home, Massimo asked, "You really like my body?"
"What? Yes, sure, you are really well built."
"But you didn't try anything?"
"Well, one can't simply jump on another just because he likes him, can one? But you didn't try anything either?"
"But I liked looking at you a lot."
"The same here. Massimo, listen, if between us something starts, it will come naturally."
"I... I am possibly not yet ready."
"Sure, I understand. There is no hurry. What will be, will be."
"Besides, I like you."
"I like what I know of you. And I'm not talking only about your body."
"Do you really want me to stay at your place?"
"Sure."
"I have to look for a job, I think."
"Didn't you work in a big electric supplies store? You can try again there, can't you?"
"No, I'll meet my old friends. I... I'm possibly being silly, but I don't feel like meeting them again, at least for now. I could not stand their sympathy."
"As you like."
"I'll look for something different. I hope to succeed."
"It is not easy at the moment. I've been looking for eight months without any luck. Anyway, as long as there is life, there is hope, right?"
"Yes..."
"And anyway we will manage."
"I don't want to become a burden on you; it's not as if you have much spare money either."
"That's true, but it suffices. Don't worry, for the moment. One way or another, we will manage. For my part, being part of a couple I feel stronger."
So they started their life together. During the day they went around looking for a job, and three times a day Gilberto went to the underground stations to play his guitar and gather some coins. Every two days they went to Marco's to take a shower together. Late in the evening, in the dark, they chatted for a long while. These long chats with Gilberto in the darkness, were important to Massimo - they helped him to gradually put his life in order. He could feel Gilberto's warmth. His caring, his gentleness, and was grateful to him. Gilberto was giving him so much, without asking for anything in exchange. Massimo felt he had to give something back to his friend. But what? His affection, at least. Gilberto put on some music and was washing the floor. Meanwhile Massimo was washing their laundry in the sink. He stopped for a moment to look at Gilberto bent over scrubbing the floor. He looked at his long strong neck, its nape, the wide shoulders. Drying his hands he went over to his friend.
Gilberto looked up from the floor with a smile and asked. "What's up?"
"Come." Massimo simply said, looking him straight in the eyes.
Gilberto understood. He slowly stood up and took Massimo in his arms.
"I think... I think I'm growing terribly fond of you." Massimo said leaning his head on his friend's shoulder.
"The same here. I feel good near you." Gilberto answered softly, caressing the nape of his neck.
Massimo raised his face towards his friend, who bent his head until their lips met, opened in a long, intimate deep kiss.
"Would you take me in your bed?"
"Are you really sure?" Gilberto gently asked.
"I am. Don't you want me?"
"Sure I want you? Can't you feel it?"
"Yes, I can. And I too want you."
"Good. Then come..."
Intertwined, they moved to Gilberto's bed. The young man started to unbutton Massimo's clothes. He followed suit at once. They were both shuddering and, as they unveiled the friend's body, caressed and felt each other, seized by a growing desire, until they were both naked.
"I like you so much, Massimo."
"I like you too, you are so beautiful. I want to make you happy."
"The same here, Massimo. Come, on top of me."
Massimo laid his naked body on that of his friend, lining up chest to chest, belly to belly, legs to legs and arms to arms. They again kissed.
"I desire you, Gil."
"Then, take me."
"Yes, but later you too will take me, won't you?"
"Sure. My god, Massimo, you look even more beautiful than ever. I'm really longing to feel you inside me, to be inside you."
"Gil, I think I love you, possibly, a little..."
"Shush! We will talk about that later, with a clear mind. Now we are both too aroused."
"I don't want just to have a fuck."
"Neither I, Max. Neither I. But, one step at a time. For the moment, let's just make love. Don't think too much, relax. Take me." Gilberto said with a gentle, encouraging smile.
These words, murmured in a voice hoarse with passion, aroused the young man terribly, he would do his best to give pleasure to his friend. He offered himself with a sweet smile. Massimo sank inside him with a sensation of grateful pleasure. Then started to move inside him, feeling he was accepted, welcomed, and he closed his eyes to better savor these sensations, while Gilberto brushed his nipples and caressed all his body. When Massimo felt near to his orgasm, he became still.
"What's up?" Gilberto sweetly asked.
"I don't want to cum yet. Now you take me, but don't cum either, I don't want this to end too soon."
"The same here." His friend answered with a luminous smile.
They swapped their positions and Massimo prepared himself to welcome his friend inside himself. He felt Gilberto push, conquering him little by little.
"Oh, Gil, yes..." Massimo encouraged him, happily relaxing and answering his friend's thrusts.
While Gilberto was taking him, he was looking down at him with dreamy eyes, "God, how beautiful you are, Max. I like you - you are virile even now when you are giving yourself to me. I like you heaps, you know?"
"You really like me?"
"Don't you feel how much?"
"Yes... Do you like taking me?"
"I like everything about you."
"Everything?"
"Everything."
They continued making love, swapping their roles tirelessly, more and more excited, until Gilberto, with a long intense trembling, came inside his friend. Massimo held him tightly against himself, caressing him passionately. Then relaxed, "Go on, Max. Cum inside me, now, please." Gilberto whispered offering himself to his friend.
Massimo entered him again, with intense pleasure, and started to make love with him again. And finally he too came, deeply embedded in his friend. Then they remained intertwined, relaxing.
"Did you like it?"
"Oh yes! And you, Gil?"
"So very much. And I like YOU so very much. I'm happy I met you, and to have you here, now."
"I... what I told you earlier... I would like to talk about it."
"Yes?"
"I am possibly in love with you, at least a little. But, honestly, I am still in love with Diego."
"And you will possibly be in love with him forever, that's natural."
"Doesn't that annoy you?"
"Should it? He is part of you. I cannot, and I surely don't want to take his place."
"One can be in love with two people?"
"Yes, sure."
"So, then, perhaps..."
"Don't worry about putting a label on everything. Do you feel well with me?"
"Yes."
"And do you want to stay with me?"
"If you want me... yes."
"That's enough, then. I would be happy if you remained here with me, if I could be your boy... and you mine."
After that afternoon the two friends joined their beds and started to sleep together, and continued making love. They fitted together better and better. They had a very hard life, they barely had money to buy food. Yet they were happy, they felt rich in each other. At times Massimo found some little jobs so he could bring home some money. Gilberto continued to earn something playing his guitar downtown. So they managed, being careful, to pay the rent and to buy food. Massimo continued to wear Gilberto's clothes, as they didn't have enough money to even buy second hand ones. But they were serene. And as the months elapsed, they were more and more in harmony and united, fit wonderfully together. Also their poor condition was not much of a burden. They managed to have their small amusements, like when Gilberto went to the public garden to play his guitar for the children playing there, who crowded around him. Massimo looked at him, saw he was serene, and was happy with him. Or when Massimo took him on his bicycle to the stream out of town where, in the warm summer days, they bathed.
Winter came again and Christmas was nearing. Massimo desired to make a beautiful Christmas present to Gilberto, but he didn't know what to do. He knew what he would have liked to give to his friend - a beautiful case for his beloved guitar, and a choice of scores of the latest songs. The problem was how to pay for these presents. He couldn't use the little money they put in the bank.
"After all," he told himself, "it is not a big sacrifice; moreover, he deserves it. It is true that it is Diego's present, but it is nothing but an object - Diego is anyway inside my heart. And I also have the silver ring that Diego gave me. Right? What do you think, my Diego? I don't think you would get mad at me, would you? You know that it is a sacrifice, for me..."
So, two days before Christmas, Massimo went to sell his bicycle. He earned a little less than he hoped, but enough money to buy a gift for Gilberto. He went back home feeling happy - It will make a nice surprise for Gil. He hid the big parcel on top of the wardrobe and checked it was not visible, then waited for Christmas Eve night, the time to give the gifts.
They gathered some branches discarded by the sellers of Christmas trees, and with them they managed to build a kind of Christmas tree. Then they decorated it with pieces of colored paper clipped from old magazines - the result was good.
Massimo also wanted to have a Nativity Crib, and above all the three kings' little statues, because now he understood that they, after all, helped him to overcome his despair and thus to find Gilberto. So he contented himself putting under the tree the little gold box, open, showing the small incense cone and the myrrh grains - they represented Rasim, Rocco and Roger. He never thought about that before, but all the three names started with an R! as in Rex, King in Latin.
And finally the Christmas Eve night came. Gilbert decided this night he would not go out to play his guitar, as he wanted to spend it with Massimo. They had supper. It was not different from every day supper, it was poor and essential as usual, but Gilberto managed to find a candle that they lit in the center of the table.
After the supper, Gilberto at a certain point said. "Max, I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise? What?"
"A Christmas present."
"Really? Where is it?"
"Under our bed. I didn't know where to hide it so that you didn't find it before the right time. Go on, take it."
"Oh, good. And then, you look for the Christmas present I bought for you."
"You too? Where did you hide it?"
"On top of the wardrobe." Massimo merrily answered.
The two young men left the table, Massimo crept under the bed, and Gilberto climbed on a chair. Soon each had a parcel in their hands.
"It's huge, this present for me!" Gilberto said putting it on the table. As the guitar case was in a box, he couldn't yet fathom what his present was.
"Mine too is big!" Massimo exclaimed putting his present on a chair.
"Guess what it is?" Gilberto said with a sly smile.
"And you try to guess yours!" Massimo answered, stopping his friend who had started to open his present.
They started to ask each other questions, laughing at the strange answers they received. The first to guess what the present was for him was Massimo, and when he did, he remained with his mouth agape and for a while was unable to utter a single word.
"What's up? Don't you like it.. Max? As I knew how much your bicycle means to you, I thought it was the right present... Moreover, with the front basket and the rear bags, when we go out of town for a picnic, we can comfortably carry a lot of things with us.! Open it, go on. I bought all them green, like your bicycle."
"Gil, it's really a beautiful present. You are so dear!" Massimo said asking himself how he could tell Gil that he didn't have a bicycle any more.
"But you don't seem happy..."
"No, on the contrary! But they must have been very expensive... how did you manage to buy them?"
"Well... I'll tell you later. But I have still to guess my present."
He guessed quite soon, and when Massimo confirmed he was right, Gilberto burst in laughter.
"Well? My present makes you laugh?"
"No, it is just that... that... well, now don't get mad at me, but... well... I sold my guitar to buy your present."
"Eeehhh? Whaaat? Oh my god, you too?"
"What do you mean, I too? Don't you perhaps mean that... You mean that you sold... Nooo! But why? It was the most precious thing you had! Why did you do such a thing? You shouldn't have!"
"And you then? You too cared a lot for it. Oh, Gil! What can we do, now? You have the case and the scores. But you no longer have your guitar, and I have the bags and the basket. But no longer my bicycle..."
"But why did you sell your bicycle?"
"Because I thought that you are more important than my bicycle. Because I love you, Gil!"
"I too love you, Max. I love you more than ever. The case you gave me has a lot more value than the guitar I had, because it is the symbol of your love. I love you Max, as I never before loved anyone."
"I... I love you very much. I cannot say more than I loved Diego, but not less, this is certain, And I think I am ready now to really be your lover, to be totally yours."
Gilberto understood at once what Massimo meant with these words, because he remembered what his friend told him when he was talking about his relationship with Diego. And this, together with the big sacrifice that he made to be able to buy him his present, moved him deeply.
"Max, oh Max!" he murmured opening his arms as an inviting gesture.
Massimo took shelter in them and they held each other tightly, passionately kissing. They caressed each other for a long while, undressing each other without hurry, each savoring the growing excitation of the other like a precious gift. And when finally they rid the other of all his clothes, they lay on the bed that saw them make love so many times, but on which that night they would celebrate the start of a more intimate union, more complete than ever. They were not in a hurry, they proceeded with calm and assurance towards that magic moment.
When he felt that it was near happening, Gilberto asked with extreme gentleness, "Are you sure, Max?"
"Sure. I want it with all of myself."
"To me, it will be all right even if..."
"Shush! Gil, I am thirsty for you!"
"And I for you, Max, my beloved Max."
They never before drank each other seed, because Massimo explained to his friend the special meaning that the act had in his relation with Diego. And Gilberto always respected the special love that Massimo had for Diego. And Gilberto now understood that, with this act, Massimo was really putting him at the same level as his great lover.
They united with dedication, each of then tense to give to the other the utmost pleasure, each of them foretasting the other would at last get to know. Their excitations were mutually strengthening in a crescendo of delightful sensations in a generous contest to give to the other the best of himself. And finally they drank of each other, feeling overjoyed as they never were before, grateful to the other for the gift he was receiving. And at last they embraced and lay down, feeling totally intoxicated.
"Thank you, Max, my Love!"
"Thank you, my Gil."
"You are delicious, do you know?"
"You too are, my Love."
"But... I want to make love again."
"I do also. We have all night, all for us." Massimo answered and they slowly started again making love with unchained desire.
When at last they abandoned themselves to sleep, without knowing it, they both were thinking more or less the same thing - "I am the richest person in the world, rich because of his love!"
Their poverty really was not a burden to them. They continued to look for a job, to manage a living best they could, but with a serenity that nothing could scratch. Not even the tens of negative answers they got each time they asked for a job. They continued to try in different places, to answer all the ads, but it seemed that there was not a job for either of them. And yet, they were ready to do anything. But they didn't lose courage, even if Gilberto was without a job for almost two years and Massimo for one. As Gilberto sold his guitar, they now had even less money than before.
But finally it seemed that things were going slightly better. Marco, the owner of the public bath, offered Gilberto a part time job, illegally, to clean the baths in the morning before opening time. It is not that he paid so much, but the two boys could breath a little. After much hesitation Massimo also tried his former working place, but he was received rather coldly - they hadn't forgiven him for disappearing without a word. Anyway his old place was now taken by another, therefore there was no place for him.
Massimo did some odd jobs, like putting flyers in the mail boxes, or distributing the new telephone books. In short, both together managed, even if with much care and no little sacrifices, to make ends meet. Massimo became really skilled at darning their clothes, as it was out of their budget to buy new ones. And one month when money was even less than usual, Gilberto decided to sell his stereo and the heater. And yet the two youths were still serene, and found the strength in their mutual love.
At times Massimo tried to compare his love for Diego with that for Gilberto. Honestly, he couldn't decide which one was stronger. They simply were his two great loves. They were different and yet each of them had and gave him all he could need, and even more. Diego and Gilberto were different both physically and in their characters. Their ways of making love were different. But he could not choose between them.
Gilberto didn't take Diego's place in his heart. And never tried to. And Massimo was grateful to him for that. Gilberto simply accepted that his place in Massimo's heart was near the memory of Diego, and he didn't feel jealous. Not only because Diego was dead - he knew how much, for Massimo, Diego was really alive inside him. But Gilberto really loved Massimo as he was, therefore also with his unchanged love for Diego.
One day, while they were talking about Diego, Gilbert exclaimed, "I would have loved to have met him. I think I could fall in love with him or rather, through your words I feel as if I knew him and could have loved him."
Massimo looked at him with a happy expression and said in a whisper, "I think that he too would have fallen in love with you, if he met you. I think you would have been a beautiful couple."
"Don't you think we could have loved each other even in triplicate."
"No, because we all, all three of us, are extremely faithful guys, therefore the two who started to love each other, would never have accepted a third one with them. They would not even have thought of that. Don't you agree?"
"Yes, I think you are right, Max. But anyway, he is now with us, isn't he?"
"Yes, and if a life exists beyond life, I think that he is now loving you, for the love you are giving me, and that he is protecting us."
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 7
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