Hard to Be X Men

Published on Nov 30, 2003

Gay

Hard To Be An X-Men | Chapter 16


DISCLAIMER: The X-Men Series is copyrighted to Marvel comics, and 20 Century Fox. For visual purposes, the looks of each character is based on the actors who play them. This in no way implies to their sexuality. Charmed is copyrighted to Spelling Entertainment, The WB Networks, and TNT Networks. This story is totally fiction and in no way is true. If it was, then why write?

WRITER'S NOTES: Thank you to all of the emails and instant messages. I get so many and I'm glad, please keep them coming. Being that this story is being written during the holidays, the following chapters may be slow in arrival. But I shall do my best to get them in as soon as possible! Comments and suggestions are always welcome so send them to: blue_sunn@msn.com or AIM S/N: goingund3r


     After Logan's kiss, Seth took a deep breath and sat down on the floor. Back against the wall, thoughts started to fill inside. Logan looked at Seth with a puzzled look on his face. After a few minutes, Logan took a seat beside Seth. Finally, Seth spoke.

      "Logan, what do I mean to you?" Seth asked looking into Logan's eyes.

      "Do we really gotta talk about this Bub?" Logan asked in a low tone.

      "Well, it would be nice Logan. I mean do you really like me, or am I just a fuck like Scott said?" Seth asked, his voice cold and weak.

      "He said that huh?" Logan asked not looking into Seth's gaze.

      "Logan, Scott said alot of things. I just don't know what to make of any of them. I think I love you Logan, I really do. But if you didn't want me, or if you didn't feel the same way, why did you lead me on like you did?" said Seth almost on the verge of screaming.

     Seth jumped up holding his arm as he started to walk off. Why did this have to be so hard. Why couldn't Seth just empty all feelings he held for Logan? Logan had slept with Scott, Seth didn't know why, he just knew he had. Seth cared too much for Logan. Yea that was it. Seth was just too emotional, he brought this on himself. Seth was almost towards the stairs as Logan grabbed Seth's shoulder. Immediately Seth stopped. But inside, his brain was telling him to run, to get away, to get as far as he could from Logan. But Seth just stood there, not turning around. Seth knew if he turned around, he would loose it. Seth would be strong in front of Logan. If it was the last thing he would do, this would be it.

      "Seth, you shouldn't project your thoughts like that" Logan said in a low whisper.

      "You heard them?" Seth said shocked.

      "Come on, I'm gonna tell you everything" Logan replied as he walked down the staircase.

     Logan led Seth to the courtyard and took a seat upon the stone furniture. Even though it was a cold night, both men seemed to be unaffected by the weather. Seth took a seat on top of the table and placed his feet on the stone bench. Seth waited for Logan to speak. A huge weight started to build inside Seth's chest. A few more minutes passed and Logan pulled a small, thin cigar from one of his pockets. Seth stared at Logan as he lit the cigar and began to smoke.

      How long have you been smoking?" Seth asked.

      "Off and on Bub. Never done it too much though" Logan replied taking another draft of the cigar.

      "Blah" Seth said making a face.

      "So what do you wanna know kid?" Logan asked.

      "That night I got back, and you were with Scott. What was going on?" Seth asked holding his breath.

      "I guess I'll never be able to avoid that question" Logan said sighing.

      "I need to know Logan. Was I just a lay like Scott?" Seth asked.

      "You were more then that Seth" Logan replied shooting a small cloud of smoke.

      "Then what the hell was I Logan?" Seth yelled out jumping up from the table.

      Bub, lower your voice" Logan said sternly.

      "Fuck no! What are you afraid that someone's gonna hear Logan?" Seth asked, but not really seeking an answer.

     Logan threw down the cigar and jumped up standing inches away from Seth. By reflex, Logan's claws were extended, drawn by his side. Seth looked down at the claws, then back into Logan's face.

      "I would love to see you try" Seth responded, his voice as cold as ever.

      "You know I would never hurt you Seth" Logan replied in a low grunt.

      "You already have Logan" Seth said as he walked back inside the mansion.

     Logan stood there, Seth's words had in some way hurt him. Logan tried to strug off the emotion. He picked up his cigar and relit and took a drag. Why couldn't there be harmless sex? Logan thought to himself. Meanwhile, Seth had found his way inside the kitchen. Through all of the events of the evening, Seth had found himself very hungry. Settleing for some cold pizza, Seth took a seat and began to eat. A few minutes later, Jean walked in.

      "Hey Jean" Seth said.

      "Oh my god! You know who I am!" Jean said getting excited.

      "Yea, I'm back to normal I guess" Seth said with out little enthusiasm.

      "That's great!" Jean said grabbing Seth and hugging him. Immediately Seth winced when Jean rubbed against his wounded arm.

      "Seth what's wrong?" Jean asked spotting his wounded arm.

      "Nothing, nothing. I'll be fine" Seth said in an half attempt to lie.

      "Seth, you suck at lieing. Tell me what happened, before I look for myself" Jean said with a laugh. Seth knew what Jean meant by looking for herself. She would use her gift.

      "I guess I got to tell you huh?" Seth said looking up at Jean.

      "Please Seth. What happened?" Jean asked taking a seat in front of Seth.

      "Scott was what happened" Seth said taking another bite of pizza.

      "Oh my god. Seth he did this to you?" Jean asked pointing at Seth's wound.

      "Well it started only for sex, but I tried to get free but he fired on me" Seth said pushing the remaining pizza away.

      "Are you okay?" Jean asked filling with alarm.

      "I'll be okay. It's no big deal" Seth said looking down at the floor.

      "Seth, this is a major issue. You should talk about" Jean said placing her hand on Seth's shoulder.

      "Jean, I said I don't want to talk about. Leave me alone!" Seth shouted as he got up from the table.

     Seth stormed out of the kitchen leaving Jean alone to her thoughts. Jean couldn't believe that Scott would do something like this. It just wasn't Scott. After several minutes of deep thought, Jean finally decided to confront Scott. It would be the only way to find out what happened and what was going on with Scott. Jean made her way to the top floor, where the teachers rooms where. After getting to Scott's door, Jean knocked. Scott answered and without invitation, Jean walked in.

      "What do you want?" Scott asked shutting the door.

      "What in the hell has happened to you Scott Summers?" Jean asked with her arms crossed.

      "Jean don't start, I don't need your bullshit right now" Scott said as he pulled on a sweater.

      "Scott, you could get fired for this. Even put in jail!" Jean said in a nervous tone.

      "For what? Trying to nail Seth's ass?" Scott said with a snicker.

      "Raping a student is one thing, making advances is another" Jean said looking out the window.

      "Please, it's not like the bitch is a virgin" Scott said as he looking at the burned impressions of Seth's hands on his chest.

      "Don't you ever call him that!" Jean yelled as Scott was thrown across the room sliding into the door.

      "What the fuck are you doing Jean!" Scott cussed as he got up.

      "You have no right to talk about Seth that way. He saved my life and for that, he has my upmost respect" Jean said as she caused a lamp to crash into the wall.

      "Jean, stop destroying my place you crazy bitch" Scott said firing a warning shot at the nearby wall.

      "You wanna see crazy?" Jean asked as she sent Scott's bed flying towards the wall making Scott jump outta the way.

     Scott shot off several beams at Jean, but she dodged and missed each one he fired. Jean sent a dresser crashing right into Scott. Instantly, he fell to the ground. Seconds later, Scott blasted through the dresser and fired at Jean. The laser beam struck Jean throwing her out the window. Jean landed in the bushes. Her shoulder burned pretty bad. Scott came to the window to look down and Jean. A cold expression washed over Scott's face. But it was short lived as Scott's door was kicked in by no other then Logan. Immediately, Logan could tell a fight had occurred. Logan grabbed out for Scott's throat picking him up in one swift motion. With hardly no trouble at all, Scott was thrown right out the window like Jean had been only moments ago. Scott landed ass backwords in the pool, splashing and choking for air. Jean heaved herself out of the bushes as Scott climbed out from the pool.

      "Truce?" Jean asked holding out her hand.

      "Truce" Scott said grabbing hold of Jean's hand.

     As Jean and Scott tried to work out all of their conflicts, and Logan tried to sink himself in the garage with his bike. I stayed on the rooftop. There was something peaceful about this place. To be honest, Seth was growing weary of this school. He had enough problems to deal with before he came here. Ever since he had become an X-Man, he had been infected, nearly killed, killed, lost his memory, fell in love with a guy, got kidnapped and gave a hummer to a blue winged man. Not all in that order, but still. Things had really changed, and Seth didn't like it one bit. As Seth sat there in deep thought, something caught his eye. High in the sky, there he was. Warren. After being gone for days, he had now finally come back. Warren landed on the rooftop unzipping his leather vest. Seth stared at him quietly as the moonlight shined in his golden lockes.

      "Hello Seth" Warren said taking a seat next to Seth.

      "Warren" Seth said with half interest.

      "I'm glad to see your doing okay" Warren said running his fingers through his hair.

      "Do you really care?" Seth asked with spite in his voice.

      "Yea I do" Warren said sighing.

      "Well thanks for asking" Seth said turning the other way. Seth meant the comment. He wasn't trying to be spiteful or mean.

      "Seth, I wanted to talk about that morning awhile back" Warren began.

      "Please don't. Let's forget about it. I don't know why you left, but it was alright while it lasted" Seth said slowly getting up from the roof ledge.

      "Well Seth I wanted" Warren began again.

      "Warren stop okay. I have enough shit to deal with. I'll get to you later" Said Seth as he walked down the stairs.

     Meanwhile, back in Scott's room. Jean and Scott were both trying to come to grips with everything. Jean couldn't understand why Scott slept with Logan, let alone trying to force himself on Seth. Nothing was making sense anymore. Scott couldn't explain his actions either. It was like the raw emotion, the lust he had for Logan was taken to a whole new degree. It was as if something else was controlling him, taking advantage of inner emotions Scott had. Jean sat on Scott's bed once again, this time tears streaked her face. Scott sat across from her silent. No words could come to Scott as he looked at Jean's pain.

      "What's happened to you Scott?" Jean asked as she wiped away the tears.

      "I don't know Jean. It's as if, I'm losing control" Scott said looking down at the floor.

      "But how? Why?" Jean asked.

      "I don't know. But I like it" Scott said as he turned away from Jean's stare.

     Seth had made his way to the Professor's office. After sending a message to the Professor, Seth waited for his arrival. A short while later, the Professor came in. After taking residence behind his desk. The room was full of silence as neither one spoke. Seth just seemed to gaze out of the window behind the Professor before finally speaking.

      "Professor, I came here because I" Seth started before he was interrupted by Professor Xavier.

      "You wish to leave the school Seth" Professor Xavier answered.

      "Yes" Seth whispered.

      "Well Seth, we cannot hold students against their will. If you wish to return home, you may do so" replied the Professor.

      "There just have been way too much stuff going on" Seth said as he played with one of the buttons on his shirt.

      "I understand Seth. Heaven knows, you have done so much and experienced massive events that no one should have to face, let alone someone of your age" said the Professor in a constant soft tone.

      "Can you make the arrangements Professor?" Seth asked as tears began to fill behind his eyelids.

      "Of course Seth. I'll have everything prepared. Say by noon tomorrow, you may depart" replied Professor Xavier.

      "Thank you Professor" Seth said getting up to exit.

     As Seth left the room, Hank walked in and handed the Professor the latest news on the location of the students. Hank could see the change of emotion in the Professor. Taking a seat, Hank began to question Professor Xavier.

      "Is something wrong Professor?" Hank asked.

      "I suppose, I'm just a little down Hank" replied the Professor.

      "May I ask why Sir?" Hank said shifting his glasses.

      "Seth just asked to go home" Professor Xavier said as he thumbed through the reports.

      "Is that wise sir?" Hank asked as slight alarm filled his voice.

      "I cannot ask the man to stay Hank. He's been through far too much to simply keep him here against his will" said the Professor.

      "But Sir, over 88% of the student population is missing and we could use every X-Man we have. Seth may be young and he may have went through alot, but he is also a very powerful mutant" Hank replied as he started to pace the floor.

      "I understand this Hank, but as much as Seth has been through, I can either let him return home and hope that he shall return on his own. Or I can watch him suffer a nervous breakdown" replied the Professor.

      "A nervous breakdown?" Hank asked.

      "As we all know, Seth is a pryo-kinetic. Unlike those who can will fire and control it. Seth has the power to call it from within his very own body. There have not been many people with the pryo-kinetic trait. Of course there have been those who can control fire, but none who can control and wield it such as Seth. It takes great control and mental balance to do such a thing. With all of the strain and pressure Seth faces, he could very well go insane" Said the Professor as he closed the report.

      "Such as the incident with Magneto?" Hank asked taking off his glasses.

      "Yes. It took every once of Logan's strength to bring Seth to control again. Magneto kidnapped Seth, tried to kill him, and he even hurt many of the people Seth cares about here" Professor Xavier replied.

      "Bobby, Rogue, and Logan" Hank replied.

      "Yes. So now if you can excuse me, I need to make arrangements for Seth's departure.

      "Of course Professor" Hank said as he left the Professor's office.

     Seth made his way to his room. Everything had been restored, the walls, a brand new bed, even repainted. Seth layed down on the over sized bed and sighed deeply. No sound came from within him. Only tears of sorrow dropped down his cheeks. Seth didn't want to leave, but he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take Logan's dodging of his questions, or the way Scott treated him. The things that Scott said had really hurt Seth deep down inside. Not to mention all of the strange and insanely things that had happened to him while he was at this place. Only one more night and Seth would be back home. Miles away from all of this madness. Since the clean up crew had to restore Seth's room, mostly everything he had was packed already. Seth kicked off his shoes and got under the covers and fell asleep.

     Seth awoke the next morning to find his room completely bare. None of his belongings where there. One less thing to do. Seth thought to himself as he got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. Grabbing a wash cloth, Seth began to wash his face and brush his teeth. Seth was still a little edgy about leaving but he knew he had to go. After getting himself halfway decent Seth walked downstairs to the main floor of the mansion. All of his bags where there lined up at the steps. Seth took a seat on the bottom step and checked his watch. It was 11:45, fifteen minutes and he would be on a plane heading back home. As Seth lost himself in thought Jean came down the stairs and took a seat beside Seth.

      "Hey, what's going on?" Jean asked rubbing the sleep away from her eyes.

      "I'm going home today Jean" Seth replied playing with the zipper on one of his bags.

      "Your what?" Jean asked with alarm.

      "In about fifteen minutes, I'm gonna be leaving to go back home. Away from all of this shit" Seth replied.

      "Is this about Scott?" Jean asked placing her hand on Seth's shoulder.

      "Well yes and no. I mean, it's the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. But all of the other events havn't made me want to stay" Seth said sighing deeply.

      "God, Seth. I don't wanna see you go" Jean said sadly.

      "I don't wanna go, but I feel if I stay here, I might loose my damn mind" Seth said.

      "Well, you make sure you stay in touch with me sweetie" Jean said as she pulled Seth into a hug.

      "You know I will" Seth said trying to fight back the urge to cry.

     Just then, Logan came down the stairs to find Jean and Seth hugging. Instantly, Seth let go, as Jean stood up facing Logan. She caught his stare at Seth's suitcases. Jean walked up the stairs til she was standing right beside Logan. Jean's eyes cut deep into Logan as she spoke.

      "Seth's leaving Logan. Say your goodbyes" Jean said as she passed Logan.

      "Seth is this true?" Logan asked with slight harshness.

      "Yea, I'm heading back home" Seth said his southern accent fading out.

      "Seth, you don't have to go" Logan replied.

      "Yes I do Logan. I cannot take the way you and Scott are acting. I can't take all of the bullshit that goes on here. I'm not prepared for this, and I'm not able to do this anymore" Seth said getting up from the step.

      "Seth please think this through" Logan said as he walked up behind Seth.

     Just then, Storm walked in from the main doors. Seth could see a black acura with the motor running outside. Storm gave a weak smile and went to get Seth's bags. Seth mouthed a silent thank you as Storm took his bags outside. Seth turned around and looked at Logan. Slowly Seth ran his hand down Logan's chest, as Logan sighed deeply with his eyes shut.

      "I love you Logan. I don't know if that was the problem or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe you weren't looking for love, I don't know anymore. But I do love you, but I can't take all of this pain anymore" Seth said as he turned to exit the mansion.      Seth was almost out the door but Logan grabbed him and turned him around. Logan's eyes were full of hurt and regret as he stared into Seth's eyes.

      Can you say it? Can you mean it?" Seth asked with hoping eyes.

     Logan gulped and tried to find the words that Seth so wanted to hear. As hard as Logan tried he couldn't speak the words. Logan opened his mouth trying to place the words. Finally, Seth placed his index finger on Logan's lips.

      "Well, at least you know how I feel. Take care Logan" Seth said as he walked outside and got into the acura with Storm. Seth took a final look through the doorway looking at Logan as Storm drove off.


Cliffhangers rock huh? Chapter 17 will be out soon. Questions, comments, suggestions? Send them to: blue_sunn@msn.com or AIM S/N: goingund3r. Everything is welcomed. Even flames, but don't be mad if you get cussed out ;)

Next: Chapter 17


Rate this story

Liked this story?

Nifty is entirely volunteer-run and relies on people like you to keep the site running. Please support the Nifty Archive and keep this content available to all!

Donate to The Nifty Archive