This story is fictional, though some events and places may be real. The characters and events surrounding them are completely fictional. This story does not, in any way, denote the sexuality or opinions of any non-fictional persons or places. This story has no bearing on the opinions of said places or know people or events. The inspiration for this story came loosely from the song Hazard, by Richard Marx.
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Hazard
Chapter 17
I stopped showing my therapist this journal a while ago and show her another. The reason being I don't trust the bitch. In other words, I kept two books like a mobster did. Today though I saw something that confirmed I shouldn't trust her.
I am just glad I kept different journals for my dreams that I started when I was sixteen. Only Dad saw those journals. I share a few of them with you guys. Like I said I keep two sets of journals now
I watched as Dad strolled into the kitchen with a telling grin. You go Dad. I know it's perverted and all but I wish I had set up my cam at that moment. It would have been hot to watch. Hey I am a horny teen straight porn is hot too.
"Good morning Dad. Sleep well?" I said with a smirk.
"Not really." He said not noticing the looks Grandma and gave him. Yeah boy, Dad did the nasty.
He filled up his cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter and looked at Grandma's and mine's grins. He looked confused for a minute "Oh get your minds out of the gutter. Nothing happened."
"If you say so Dad."
"Of course not dear." Grandma quipped with a grin.
"Seriously, we talked for hours then fell asleep on the couch." Dad said defending himself like a teen caught making out in the living room by his parents.
Nikki came in and grabbed a cup of coffee. Cream, no sugar. She looked at all of us. Grandma and I were smiling ear to ear. Dad's face was red. I don't think he was mad or anything. Just annoyed we didn't believe him.
"Ask Nikki." He said all of the sudden.
"Ask me what?" Nikki asked.
"Well those two thing that we. Oh never mind I need to take of the sleigh." Dad said totally exasperated. We watched him go out in a huff. Grandma and busted out laughing. Poor Dad.
"For the record I woke up and they were curled up on the sofa sound asleep, fully dressed." Nikki giggled
"I don't doubt they were. Jared always was mindful of what he did when others were around." Grandma said.
Nancy came in got her cup. We told her about our teasing of Dad. She thought it was hilarious. It got even funnier when Dad walked back in.
"Jared I have to tell last night was so wonderful. I never experienced anything like that before." Nancy cooed at Dad.
Poor Dad he got so red we busted out laughing. Eventually he caught on that we busting his nads. He laughed just as hard as we did. He was pretty good sport about it since we kept teasing him. Grandma was the worse.
"I do hope that you remembered to put a cover on it. I am really not ready for the expense of another one." Grandma said after everything calmed down.
"Mom honestly we did do anything." Dad whined.
"Dear I am talking about the sleigh." Grandma said smiling.
"Oh. Yeah I did."
"Noah do you mind if I borrow the Jeep to take Nancy and Nikki home?" Dad asked me.
"Sure Dad, remember though you gave me advanced tickets for us to see `Spirit' at Hillside theatre today."
"Yep. I promise I'll be back I'll be right back."
Porter and I were playing some video games while I waited and watched the clock. Dad still wasn't home. I called his cellphone and it went to voicemail. "Hey Dad it's one, I was wondering where you are. Call me."
It was 3 pm. Dad still hadn't gotten home. I called Dads cell phone and it went straight to voicemail again. `Dad it's three if we don't leave in the next few minutes we'll miss the movie.'
I decided to call the theater to see what other times the movie plays. I was informed that the tickets being paid for advanced were good for only that date and time because they were sold out for the next week.
I excused myself at went to my bedroom and laid down. About a half hour later I heard my Dad come home. I got up, put boots on and went to the house.
I was standing in the doorway listening my Dad tell Grandma how much fun he had with Nancy
"Mom she is the one. I can feel it." Dad gushed.
"Jared I think you." Grandma started to say.
"Yeah Mom I think I am in love too. We had such a great time just walking along the river and talking." Dad said cutting her off. Then he saw me.
"Hey kiddo. I was just telling your Grandma how great a time Nancy and I had today."
"Yeah cool. Whatever. I am so glad someone did." I said and left, letting the door slam behind me.
I wasn't pissed I was hurt. My Dad promised me he would be back so I could go to the movies. Now I will probably have to wait or go a hundred miles to see it. Mostly though it hurt that he just plain forgot about me. Pretty much like everyone does eventually. I climber up into the hay loft to be alone.
I sat there staring out the little window. I watched as Rabbit hoped around looking for something to eat. Grandma usually dumped some lettuce, carrots or other vegetables in a trawl behind the barn. For the animals to eat.
"Noah? You in here?" I heard my Dad call.
I didn't say a word. I ignored him. I didn't want to be bothered. He bought me the ticket for him and I to see. Then begs off and borrows my wheels to take his girlfriend home. He said he'd be right back. Fucking lied to me. If he would rather be with her then hang out with me I will tell that judge to void out the paperwork.
Yeah I guess I am jealous. I am jealous of the fact that Dad forgot all about ours plans canceled then pawned me off on Sam then forgets that I need my wheels to get there fuck him. I hid my little corner that I like to sketch in. I picked up my sketchpad and some charcoal and started sketching the Rabbit.
"Noah, you up here?" I heard him a few feet away
"I'm here" I said as he came into view.
"Noah, can I talk to you?" he said squatting beside me.
I put my sketch pad and charcoal down. He said he wanted to talk to me. So I waited for him to talk.
"I am sorry you missed the movie it was my fault I got caught up and lost track of time."
I still didn't say a word, I just kept looking out the window. I heard him. I know he knew I heard him. I was just waiting for the whole apology I felt he owed me.
"Noah I am sorry. I really like Nancy, I don't want you to be jealous. We can go see the movie tomorrow ok?"
I looked directly at him. What he just said really pissed me off.
"We can't go see the movie tomorrow because it is sold out for the next week."
He didn't say anything so I went on.
"For the record, I am not jealous of Nancy. I am pissed off because you promised me and you broke it. Did even think to call me."
"Noah you could have called me."
"I did twice. Check your voicemail."
He did.
"I am so sorry Noah. I had left my cell phone in the jeep to recharge."
"Whatever, I am used to being forgotten. I just never thought you would Uncle Jared."
I realized what I just said. The look on his face though told me he heard it to. I couldn't read it exactly but I knew what I said hurt him. Part of me was glad because he hurt me.
"So, It's Uncle Jared now." He said softly. I could hear the hurt in his voice. I was still mad though.
"Sorry, slip of the tongue because Uncle Jared never broke a promise. He never just forgot me. Dad did." I said with just as much hurt in my voice as his.
I felt the tears begin to flow. I tried to stop it. I didn't want him to see break. I wanted to let him know how angry and hurt I am. I couldn't though I broke. I couldn't hold it I slid down the wall and cried.
I didn't pull away when he pulled me into his arms. We both cried. "Please forgive me Noah. I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know Dad but you did."
"I know. I am an ass for doing it. You're the last person in the world I ever wanted to hurt."
"I know in my head just it hurts inside. I felt unwanted."
"I know. I felt that way when your mother left."
I just clung to my Dad, my Uncle Jared. He was the same person still. I knew he loved me. I knew I had forgiven him.
"I love you, Dad."
"I love you Noah. You come before anything or anyone else in my heart."
"I know Dad. Just don't forget to be like Uncle Jared."
"Would you rather I just be your Uncle Jared?"
I thought about it. Yeah I know they are the same person. Still though, Uncle Jared never forgot me. Dad did. Dad though he was my protector my guide. Uncle Jared was my protector but he was also the guy I had fun with.
"No I like you as my Dad more. Just don't forget to be Uncle Jared too. He was more fun than you are."
He put his arm around me and we sat there quietly looking out the window. There was now a doe and her fawn out at the trawl. I picked up my pad and sketched.
Dad watched me. Usually it bothered me when people watched me sketch. For some reason Dad didn't. the deer were gone but I was still sketching. I had finished the deer but now I was working on the background.
I put down the pad and stretched when I finished it. I had forgotten Dad was there. At some point he had turned on the lights in loft. He was sitting to the right of me, leaning against a hay bale.
"Finished?" he asked.
"Yeah Dad."
"May I see it?"
I opened the sketch pad to the sketch I just did. I held it up for him to see.
"You are so amazingly talented. Can I see them all?" he smiled.
This was like my diary. What I didn't know how to say I writing, came out in this sketch pad. I never showed it to anyone and that includes Sam. I explained that to him.
"It's ok Noah. I understand." He said. I could tell he meant it but he was also a little hurt too.
"Wait here Dad." I said.
I went to the secret spot I kept my other three sketch diaries. I pulled them out of their hiding place and went back and handed the to my dad.
"If you're going to look at one you might as well see them all." I said.
"How about we look at them together?"
I went to sit down beside him but he pulled me around so that I was sitting in front of him. I leaned back against him as he opened the first one. We went through all the pads I explained the sketches.
We came to one I did on Christmas day. It was of a little boy sitting in a dark hallway. He was bundled up I a ragged old coat. He looked sad and alone. I wrote on the bottom some nightmares are lived' with two dates. Christmas 2000, Christmas 2008'.
I felt dad shudder. I think he saw the little boy and realized who it was. I felt his arm around my waist pull me tighter against him. I heard a sniff. Yeah he knows.
"The dream?"
"Yeah."
"Tell me about it."
"Stay here, I'll be right back. I climbed down the ladder and went to spot where I found a trap door that went to the root cellar under the barn. I pulled out the `Dream Journal' and went back up.
I handed the journal to my dad. It was almost full. I had actually named it; `Dreams or Nightmares. The Secret Life of Noah.'
He frowned at the title of it and looked at me. It wasn't a disappointed frown though. I think he was just sad at the thought of what he was about to read.
"Can I read this later tonight?" he asked me.
"Yeah Dad." I said, though I have to admit I was nervous about it.
"Its eight. What do you say we go get a pizza?" dad said after looking at his watch.
We went to the local pizza joint. I saw Linda there. I hadn't seen her in a while. I know she saw me but didn't say or even whisper about me to the man with her whom I assumed was her father. I wasn't sure but I think she was pregnant.
Dad and I enjoyed our pizza and drinks. We joked and teased each other. Him about. Me, about drooling over Porter who was home reading a book. I teased him about being a love stroked idiot.
The next day Dad handed me back my dream journal. He didn't say anything He just hugged me and said I love you. It was a little embarrassing because Porter was there.
Grandma had left early to go to school saying this was good time to catch up on all the paperwork it took to run Hazard High. I didn't know what paperwork but she always mumbled about how the paperwork seem to multiply like bunnies.
Grandpa was at a senior citizen's program that catered to people with his condition. So it was just Dad, Porter and me, drinking our coffee.
`Hey Noah what you say you, Porter, and me take a drive out to Carr Creek sometime today?" Dad asked me.
"Sounds like fun Dad."
"How about you Porter you up to getting some fresh air?" dad asked him.
"Sarg. I don't care where we go. I enjoyed staying here and all but honestly I wouldn't mind a road trip." He laughed.
We gathered up the normal stuff needed for a road trip. Stuffed our packs and left a note for Grandma.
We took off, Dad behind the wheel of Jeepy. I frowned when I saw Dad behind the wheel. He laughed.
"Sorry Noah. I may have been to Iraq and Afghanistan but that's not nearly as terrifying as being driven by a sixteen-year-old. Especially on an icy highway."
I frowned and took shot gun. I wasn't really upset or disappointed. I wanted to watch the country side any way. I brought a sketch pad so could do a few sketches.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. Benjamin Franklin
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