Heart and Soul Chapter 2
Thank you for continuing with Emory's story. I've appreciated the kind words.
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2
The AIDS Crisis
{Four Weeks After I Met Don)
Ten days after New Year's Eve, I had thought enough about Don that I decided to act. However, my act of courage was circumvented by Don himself. I was going to call Zane after he got off work and ask him for Don's number, but I got a call that afternoon. It was not in my contacts, so I assumed it was a spam call.
"This is Emory," I answered. I never answered "hello" to an unknown caller. Quite often, not hearing hello threw off automated systems.
"Emory, hi. It's Donald. From the New Year's Eve party."
"Hey. Hi. Like minds think alike."
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh." I nervously chuckled. "I had planned on calling you this evening. I was going to ask Zane for your number."
"I see. Well, I guess I beat you to it then."
I smiled. "I'm glad you called."
"Good. If I am being honest, I've thought of you many times since the party."
"Same here."
"I guess I was secretly hoping you would track me down," he said.
I was worried about telling him I was scared about being too old.
"I guess it just took me a little bit to muster up the courage," I said.
"And then I told myself, why does Emory have to be the one to make the call, so..."
"Exactly. I'm glad you called."
"Would you ... would you be interested in ... grabbing lunch tomorrow?"
"I certainly would."
—
Lunch No. 1.
Gracie's Garden.
Don told me about his family. His sister Vicki lives in Nashville. His mother passed away two years ago; his father died ten years before that. His mother never remarried or even dated. I told him about my family.
And that, of course, brought up Gene. I didn't want to bring conversation down, but Gene was too important in my life to just gloss over. Don listened appropriately. When I had to take a breath to collect myself, he placed a hand on my wrist.
Apparently, my company wasn't too bad, because he kissed me goodbye and ...
Lunch No. 2.
A week later.
Chili's.
The two of us talked about our careers and how we adjusted to retirement. I was impressed by how busy Don was. I hadn't become involved in anything since I retired. I just dealt with house projects that Gene and I hadn't gotten around to. Don was on committees and had season tickets to performances. He volunteered at the hospital and the community center for the LGBTQ services.
I was completely blah.
And yet, he kissed me goodbye and ...
Movie Night.
This was more of a date.
With a movie playing, we didn't talk as much. The theater wasn't full, and no one was behind us. Thirty minutes into the film, Don raised the armrest. I didn't hesitate to reach for his hand. Our fingers interlocked. Holding hands felt nice. Really nice. Fucking nice.
But it wasn't Gene's hand. Was Gene okay with this?
I lost track of the film. I began questioning if I was letting Gene down by starting to see someone else. I kept telling myself that Gene was gone. But I didn't like thinking that way. I didn't want to let go. I questioned my actions over and over. Would he approve? What would Gene think of me?
"It's okay," a character on screen said.
I was startled, and I snapped my eyes back to the screen.
"Are you sure?" another character asked.
"I'm certain. It's okay."
My eyes widened. Was that a sign?? A sign just for me?!
Don squeezed my hand and leaned his shoulder and arm into mine.
I would love Gene forever, but ... maybe it was time to move forward.
We enjoyed the rest of the movie.
We kissed at the cars. It was a longer kiss. It wasn't passionate — in the parking lot after all — but ... it was a longer kiss.
We seemed to be taking this further. More than lunches.
And ... damn.
We would have to sleep together at some point, right? Or would we? Our parents didn't hop into bed like people did nowadays. But hell. We were gay. We would be in bed. Would I disappoint him? What if Pedro didn't want to behave? Fuck.
—
"Well, look who's here," I said, as Larry slid into the booth. Cooper sat next to him, and they both reached to hold each other's hand. "It's nice to see you two out and about as a couple. I guess things are all in place now?"
The pair looked at each other and smiled.
"I guess so. I haven't told my whole family, but I probably will very soon," Cooper said. "My sister Judith knows. Natalie and Corey are all on board."
"Well, good," I grinned. "I'm happy for you two."
"Thanks," said Larry, blushing. "I kind of am too. I'm not too lucky when it comes to love."
"A good-looking lug like you?" I asked in surprise.
"I don't know about that, but ... Cooper has managed to look past all my flaws."
"I found it easy to fall in love with you," Cooper said, giving him a quick peck on the lips.
"Aw. Cute. But enough. Let's not get too nauseating so early on," I said sarcastically.
They chuckled.
Although my joke was appropriate for the situation, I knew I could have watched the two of them for hours. Two handsome men ... expressing affection ... being in love ... it was the inspiration I needed to urge me forward in my own decisions. Plus, I really was very happy for them as a new couple. Cooper had chosen well. I knew choosing Larry was the right decision. I could see it on his face.
"So how about you? Any progress on the dating front?" Cooper asked me.
"Oooo. Spill. Tell me everything," said Larry, perking up at the bit of news. He was not aware of Don.
"Donald. He's a few years older than I am, but we sort of connected at a party a few weeks ago." I looked at Cooper to answer his question. "Yeah. We went out Friday night."
"When do we get to meet him? Bring him to coffee at 9 one week," he said.
"Now, don't rush me. We had an enjoyable evening Friday."
"Did you have an enjoyable night?" Larry jumped in.
"Larimeeeee," Cooper chided.
"Not everyone jumps into bed immediately," I glared. "But we kissed goodnight. A few times. That was good for me."
I reflected on my years before Gene. I didn't sleep with someone as soon as I started dating them. I remembered the dark years where that caused me all sorts of pain. Wes and I had split up by spring break, although we remained friends. Then all the reckless sex I had in my 20s came flooding back ... it still ruined me. Once I realized I wanted something more, I was content to take my time. Nowadays, everything is different.
Brad brought Larry his cappuccino and then looked at me. "Good for you, sweetie." He winked at me.
Sweetie. What a goofball.
"What's next?" Cooper asked.
I recalled Donald's text from yesterday.
"He wants to go dancing. Can you believe it? At our age?"
"Where?"
"The Black Stallion."
"Ooo! Can we join you? I'm dying to see Laramie in his cowboy hat again," Cooper said.
Larry snorted.
"Really? I might feel more comfortable if you guys were there."
"We don't want to intrude, but ... I love the place," Larry said.
"Thursday night," I said.
"Oh, that's nice. Coop has Corey next weekend, so that will let us have some time together. If ... that works for you, Cooper."
"It does, babe."
I smiled at them again. "Babe. And here I remember a Cooper from a year ago who worried no one could love him. And they are being beaten off with a stick."
"I'm not beating anyone off ... okay, that sounds bad. I simply made a decision."
I was right though. I had briefly developed feelings for him. Mitchell was trying to make it work. Larry fell for him. Cooper didn't think he could break out of his odd duck mold, but he proved himself wrong. And now he had found real love again. I had high hopes for these two.
"I'll be honest. I owe a lot to this coffee shop," Cooper said in reflection.
"Yeah, you do," said Brad, four tables away.
Cooper chuckled. "His hearing is amazing."
"Yeah, it is," Brad said, five tables away.
"Who would have thought that spilled coffee could bring me such wonderful moments. I'm glad you two are in my life."
"Amen," I concurred.
"And me?" said Brad behind the counter.
"And you too, Brad!" Cooper called out. "I love you too."
Other patrons seemed to give us odd notice, slightly turning toward Brad to figure out what was going on, yet the moment of whimsy didn't present itself with any sense of importance or urgency.
Cooper got up to use the restroom.
I took the private moment to pry. "So. Is everything good?"
"Meaning..." Larry responded to my question.
"You two. No hiccups. The honeymoon is still intact?"
"Honeymoon, heh." He blustered out a burst of air. "I'm not the marrying type."
"I'm with you on that," I said.
"It never came up with you and Gene?"
"In our last years. When it was legal on a national level, we slightly talked about it, but we had been together for so long that we just thought, `Why bother?' I had no desire to act like straight people."
He took a sip of his hot beverage.
"But ... when Gene had his heart attack..." I paused and got caught up in my thoughts, looking out the window. Larry felt he had caused me pain. He reached to hold my wrist, just as Don had a couple of weeks ago. I continued, "That night. It was just awful. There was so much legal crap ... and ... and I wasn't officially family. It was hard. I felt like an outsider. So ... yeah, I had a moment. God, what a horrible evening. I was devastated. Part of me ... through all the pain and shit ... part of me when I was accepting that he was ... gone ... in the back of my mind I sort of wished I could have said he was my husband. He was that important, so why had I resisted all that time, you know?" I picked up a napkin and blotted my eyes. "Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," he said. Larry took his hand off my wrist and moved it to momentarily hold my hand. He squeezed it and turned back to look at me. Larry was a kind man. I was glad both he and Cooper were in my circle of friends.
"I thought I was done with love. My chance was over. But ... seeing you two. You guys give me hope. Maybe there could be hope for another chance for me."
"Well, of course there is." He took another sip and reflected on my words. "You ... you didn't feel that way about Cooper and Mitch?"
"I wanted to. I saw Cooper's dedication and optimism, but I also saw his conflict. I knew it was going to be hard, but I hoped they could work it out."
"Are you sad he's with me now?"
"Hell no! I love you two together."
"Why's that?"
"Tell me, Larry. How does Cooper make you feel?"
"Seriously?! Like the whole world has illuminated and come into existence just for me. It's like ... air!"
"Yes. Love is air. That's why I love you two together. You belong together. You make each other happy. Mitch made Cooper distrustful. Don't get me wrong, I liked Mitch. Everyone can make a mistake. He just paid a hard price for his."
"Yeah."
"Don't ever do that to Cooper, or I swear I will slap you bald headed, Larry."
He laughed. "No chance there. He's the person I've been looking for my whole life. Nope. That's wrong. I wasn't looking. I was living in a cave. A cave of work and home improvement and self-doubt." He paused. "I don't deserve him, Emory."
"Bullshit. He loves you."
"And I love him. Every little thing is adorable. I went through my whole life hating my name. Someone made fun of it when I was a kid and ... I didn't like it. Cooper loves it. Every time he says, `Laramie,' it's okay. When he says it, it's ... magical."
We noticed Cooper exiting the bathroom. He stopped to say something to Brad at the counter.
"Well, you know the magic can't last forever," I said. "Eventually, you two will find ways to bug each other."
"I know," he conceded.
"But for now, LOVE it. I hope you two nauseate me every time you come in."
The two of us laughed as Cooper headed our way.
Could Don and I be as nauseatingly adorable? Was I getting too far ahead of myself? We had only kissed. We had never seen each other naked. We hadn't had sex. Intimacy was such a scary step.
How soon was Don expecting all that? As hard as it was to talk about, he deserved more than I was giving in my self-doubts.
Our next date.
The Black Stallion. Cooper and Larry were excited to join us.
I picked Don up at his home. As I walked up to the front door, it was obvious that his house was nicer than mine. Gene and I had kept our house in good shape. It was a nice house, but this was clearly a more expensive home.
He met me at the door with a kiss. A kiss. I had kissed men my whole life, but in the last years ... not so much. It was nice to feel that romantic gesture again.
But I was nervous. Aside from my "lesson" with Cooper, I hadn't been romantic since Gene's passing. Damn, it had been years. Was I ready for intimacy again? Gene and I became such a couple that ... fuck, I didn't know how to date anymore. I was stupidly nervous. What would I do if Don invited me in later tonight?
He distracted me from my thoughts.
"I like this look on you," he said.
"This?? I tried not to stick out too much. Country music isn't my thing," I replied.
Conversation of a recent but horrific car crash in town took us to the parking lot of The Black Stallion. As we entered, we scanned the place looking for Cooper and Larry. Thursday nights weren't as busy as the weekend. I hadn't been to this bar in years. We begin strolling through the club. The Black Stallion had been part of the gayborhood for as long as I could remember. When I was younger, I preferred dancing at Indigo. Techno was closer to hard rock, but not by much. Back in the corner were Cooper and Larry. They didn't see us. I motioned to Don that that was them. The two of them were meshed into a passionate lip lock. At some point I thought they had to come up for air. I wasn't used to seeing Cooper this way. To be honest, I could feel my dick get hard. That could be a good sign for later tonight. If.
"My," Donald said when they didn't stop.
"Should we find a different table?" I said walking up.
Larry and Cooper separated with a smile.
"Guys, this is Donald."
"Call me Don," my date said. Without trying to be obvious, they looked Don up and down. He had most of his hair, all gray with a small bald spot in the back, which I thought was cute. His gray beard and moustache made him look rather distinguished. Aside from his western shirt — pink! — huge belt buckle, jeans and cowboy boots, Don still had an air of sophistication about him.
Laramie told Don to call him Larry.
Everyone shook hands, but Cooper gave me a hug.
The conversation was pleasant between the four of us.
I could tell they thought Don was very nice. Larry gave me a look that indicated he liked seeing me with someone. Or so I interpreted. Don and I had beers, but Larry wouldn't drink when he was with Cooper. They both had Cokes.
When line dancing started, the four of us joined in. It was easy for Don and Larry, even if Don was probably twice his age. Cooper laughed as he still wasn't that coordinated with the steps, but Larry appreciated him being at his side and trying again. I was as inexperienced as Cooper, but my moves were natural. Gene and I went dancing often in our early days, but it was nothing like this. I had tried to watch a few line dancing videos online that afternoon. For about fifteen minutes, we had a wonderful time on the dance floor.
Don and I had gone to the bathroom. When we returned, Cooper and Larry took time to get to know Don better. I appreciated their friendliness, but I wasn't surprised. They were great friends. They were great men. Don told them how he had retired from the Drake University library seven years ago. Both his parents had passed, but he had a younger sister in Nashville. Since his retirement, he had traveled to four countries and 49 states. The only state he lacked in checking them all off was Alaska. He began attempts at talking me into an Alaskan cruise. Don made a cruise sound so wonderful, but all I could think about was him wanting to be with me for a week. Together. In the same room.
We hadn't even slept together. We had met for lunch twice since New Year's Eve. He asked me out to a movie last week. Other than that, it was just a very occasional phone call. Granted, we kissed each time. Simple kisses, not passionate kisses.
A week? Together? On a cruise ship? Surely that was just him making conversation.
A good two-step song came on, at least according to Larry.
"I know Emory is out on this one," Don said. "Cooper, would you be so kind to loan me your beau for a dance?"
Cooper smiled at Larry and nodded. They skidded off to the dance floor.
Cooper and I watched them look pretty amazing. They were natural dancers. They smiled and talked some. I was glad that Don seemed to be fitting in well with my friends.
"He's nice," Cooper said.
"Yeah. We're clicking very well." I continued to gaze at Don. "I think tonight we might ... you know."
"No, I have no idea. Please tell me, sir," Cooper said with sarcasm.
Not taking my eyes off the dancing duo, I confided, "I'm nervous, Cooper. It's been so long. Hell, it's been so long just since you and I fucked." The statement made him cringe. "I just hope I do okay."
"Emory, I'm sure he feels the same way. You seemed fine when ... we ... did it."
Cooper's body language looked like he had been stabbed. I grinned at him. "You so regret that, don't you?"
"Yes. No. Well, not that it was you, but the fact that I ... I'm just not ... I don't sleep around. It made me feel like my morals had shifted off their axis." Cooper looked down when he said that. I knew he was embarrassed. He lifted his head to look at me directly. "However, it did change Mitch's and my sex life forever."
"There you go," I said with a wink.
"Just be yourself, Emory," Cooper sincerely said. "Don likes you. Sex is just one small part of it. You both will find your way."
"If I can't get it up, I'll just picture you and Larry. You two made me hard just watching you make out."
"I will thank you to keep us out of your bedroom please, sir."
As light-hearted as our conversation was, there was a very real fear behind it. What if my dick didn't want to work? Pedro might be checked out for the evening.
But was Don even expecting it tonight? Or ever? Surely, he was. Confusingly, we were both of an age where we should be able to easily talk about such things. But is penis unpredictability something you just throw into conversation?
Dating sucked. I wanted to run to the car and drive home.
Despite my anxiety, we still enjoyed the evening. We talked about a very cute couple of cowboys at the bar, as well as the hunky bartender, Carter. A disco song played, and we all danced to that. Cooper showed us some pictures of Corey, as well as some pictures of the two men sledding with him recently. Don shared a couple of pictures of his volunteer work. I had nothing to show — and felt fucking blah! — but we all still laughed and smiled and danced. Cooper and Larry kissed often enough to make my penis take notice.
Good.
The four of us hugged in the parking lot just after 11. The two of them had to work in the morning and, well, 11 was certainly time for us two old fogies to get to bed.
Bed.
Would he ask me to stay? I was the driver. It was his home. It was up to him.
Did I want him to ask me to stay??? I didn't know. How did I become this scared stupid kid!? This wasn't me.
A few blocks from his house, Don said, "I had a really great time."
"Me too."
"Your friends are a delight."
"Young lovers. Just an official couple for a few weeks now. But yes. They are tremendous friends. I love them."
"May their love prove durable."
"I can see Cooper and Larry lasting. I feel it."
"Sounds like you helped Cooper out a lot last year."
"Maybe. He just needed someone to talk to. He helped me in ways too."
Don was quiet. He was processing my statement. What did he make of it?
"I've been thinking about how to ... bring up something," Don said. "I'm trying to figure out the right way to say it."
"Say ...?"
"I like you, Emory. You know that. I'm just an old fuck at 72 who has no idea about what the right thing to do is nowadays."
"Not sure I follow."
Don grabbed my hand, pulling it from the steering wheel, leaving only the left one in place.
"I'd like to see where we can go, but ... I know you still grieve for Gene. And I have no idea how much you want from me. We're good company. We're good friends. I mean ... we kiss. More than just a friendly kiss."
Donald let go of my hand to bury his face in his hands. He groaned. "Ohhh, I'm not good at this."
"Everything's fine. You're fine."
"I – I'd like to ask you to stay tonight. But ... I don't know if you think that's too soon, or if it is too late, or that's farther than you want to go. I just don't know ... the right thing. I don't know how you feel."
I slightly smiled. The conversation had begun. That alone alleviated a few of the anxieties that made me squirm.
"Thank you for saying that. I was having similar doubts as well."
We were back in his driveway.
"Want to come in and ... perhaps discuss things ... where each of us are ...?"
"Sounds nice."
As we entered, I found an immaculate house. I wasn't sure if it was because I might possibly be staying over or if Donald always kept a clean house. My guess was the latter. He gestured to the couch in the living room.
"I don't need any more alcohol, but ... I can get us tea or brew some decaf ...?"
"Just some ice water is fine," I said.
"Coming up."
Don had great taste. The art on the wall was hung in ornate frames. I didn't feel college professors were necessarily rich, but he seemed to do fine. Having lost both parents, he may have inherited money. I didn't know. I could just tell he used his money wisely.
He returned a minute later. He had coasters in one hand, along with a glass of water. He spread the coasters and then placed the glass of water in front of me. The cubes of ice clinked as two of them floated to the top. He returned seconds later with a glass for himself.
"You have a lovely home," I said, as he sat next to me.
"Thank you."
We sat in an awkward moment of silence. Neither of us knew how to start.
"Regarding what you alluded to earlier ..." I said, diving in. "I feel the same. But I will admit I am nervous."
"Hopefully I haven't done anything to make you feel that way," he said.
"Lord no. You're the perfect gentleman and a wonderful date."
He smiled at my compliment. Then he said, "... but? ..."
"It's me. Lots of things."
"Tell me. If you are willing to share, I'm willing to help."
"I wish you could help. Part of it is ... well, Gene. You'd be the first ... love interest since him."
"You haven't dated since his passing?"
"No." Of course, Cooper and I had our isolated, unusual experience, but I didn't need to tell Don that.
"I'm sure such feelings are difficult. I've lost people in my life, but ... never a partner."
"And I – I – I feel I should ... move on. It's time. It's been a few years. Mentally, I have doubted myself. Would Gene feel bad that I am looking again ... or would he want me to? And ... I KNOW ... he is gone. He isn't feeling or thinking anything. I know. I guess I'm internalizing my own questions in the shape of him."
"Emory, please do not feel any type of pressure. I'm certainly willing to be patient. Right now, just your company is a blessing. I'm enjoying it. But don't feel you have to rise to some sort of expectations."
"Rise. That's another thing. I don't want to be a disappointment, but ... sometimes the equipment works ... aaaaaand sometimes it doesn't want to cooperate."
Don smiled and grabbed my hand. "If ... when ... we get to that point, whatever happens and whatever we do ... it will be right. Okay? I'm sure we will manage to enjoy ourselves."
"I hope."
We took another drink, but my fears of sex were at full throttle.
"When I was in my 20s, I heard my father talk with other men," I started. "They had no idea I was in the other room within earshot, but I guess they were close enough to talk about such things with each other. I heard phrases like `that's so common' and `it happens to everyone at some point' and `me too.' I really didn't fully understand, but I knew it was about their penises. Then when Viagra came out in the late 1990s, the term erectile dysfunction seemed to be everywhere. It sounded ... strange. Dysfunction?? But ... me? I got hard all the time. Numerous times during the day. I knew that wouldn't be a problem for me. And ... well ... fuck if it isn't." I looked at Don. "I just don't want to be a disappointment."
"I like you for you, not what level of stiffness your penis achieves."
I chuckled.
"Did this happen after Gene passed?"
"No. The last year or so when we were together, I was noticing the changes."
"And the two of you still ... were intimate?"
"Once I stopped hiding it. So ... Don ... hi. I'm not hiding it."
He squeezed my hand again.
Our eyes met, and we leaned in to kiss.
"Would you ever want to be in your 20s again?" he asked.
"Hell no. As much as my dick was a baseball bat all the time, it ... wasn't a good time for me."
"Uh oh."
"After college, I was young and invincible. I was searching for a career, but I wasn't serious. I was more serious about searching for the next fuck. For a year, I was reckless. And then ... now it feels like it happened overnight ..."
"The AIDS crisis?" he asked.
"Yeah. I was so terrified. I hadn't been safe. For a few weeks, I knew — I JUST KNEW — I was going to get it any day. I was so scared. I had a few friends get it."
"Did you lose them?"
"All but one. For some reason, the drugs were helping him better than the rest."
"That's good."
"For a while at least. When word starting getting around, at first I thought it was like New York and California, but ... surely it wouldn't get to Oklahoma. I had a friend, Jake. He told us he had been diagnosed with HIV. I don't think I had ever been more scared in my life."
"Had you had sex with him?" Don asked.
"Previously. A few months before that. Jake was a slut. He slept with anyone he could. Not that I was a saint at that time, but he was ... Jake."
"I remember my first friend too. You just never figured it would happen to anyone you know," Don shared.
"I didn't have sex for four months. Hell, for the first month I was even afraid to masturbate. I hated my life in my 20s. A few months after that, another friend. People today ... they don't know. They have no real idea of the fear that was so pervasive throughout the community."
"Indeed," said Don. He moved closer, and I put my arm around him. "I lost some friends. I struggled to deal with it all. I had just come out. I was so mad. I was mad that the disease existed. I was mad that my friends were so reckless — and spreading it with no regard to others. I was mad the government wasn't doing more. I was mad at people I cared for for dying and leaving me. I did not process it well. And ... yeah. I was afraid to do anything either, even though I was older than you."
"Right. It was scary. Being gay became a spotlight being shined upon you ... just waiting for your turn. At least, that's how I felt the world looked at us."
"We were immediate black swans. Some families didn't even have funerals because of the stigma attached."
"I was so scared, I ran off to the Navy. It was me truly running away."
"Oh, wow. I just laid low for a year."
"When I was away, I heard Jake had passed. Not long after, another one. I was so glad that I wasn't there, but also so ... scared and miserable."
"I lost a couple too. Everyone who thought they were `strong' and in `good health' quickly woke up. It was a big change."
"It was. Before I went into the Navy, my family watched me ... look and act differently. I just looked terrified all the time."
"You were out to them?"
"Yeah. But when AIDS became the ... overwhelming thing it was, they knew I wasn't seeing anybody anymore. I think they were scared for me. Except Dad. Once I told him I was gay, he was pretty distant after that. Not hateful ... just not warm. I guess he didn't want to accept it."
"Did you ever patch it up?"
"Some, I suppose. Before they both passed, they liked Gene. Dad at least saw me happy with him."
"Well, for me, after two years of being this undatable freak-"
"Why freak?" I asked.
"Too afraid to do anything. Who wants to date that?" Don lamented.
"Those were the times we were living in."
"Well, I found a boyfriend ... we tested constantly and all but wrapped ourselves in Saran Wrap."
I smiled. "It was a hard time."
"And then it got better. Later on, a different boyfriend and I went to Washington D.C. to see the AIDS Memorial Quilt. It was so moving. Sadly, it didn't bring back the initial fear I had, but I felt all the pain and sadness ... and loss ... all over again."
"I wish I had gone to see it. That was before Gene. Had we been together, I think we would have made the trek."
"Today, that fear is completely gone. They have ... whatever PrEP is. Granted, I'm relieved the community can be themselves and not have to worry, but I don't want more chemicals in my system than I have to. And let's be realistic. At 72, I'm not quite on the Grindr hot list."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that. I'm sure all ages are on the apps."
"Are you?"
"Hell no. I'm worried about ... just us. I sure don't need random strangers hooking up with me." I looked at Don. "But if you were on it, I bet lots of guys would swipe right for you."
"That's a good thing?"
"So I'm told."
Don placed his hand on my leg. His fingers draped down the inside of my thigh. I looked at his hand so close to my crotch. I was willing my dick to get hard. Pedro was out for the night.
"Emory, this topic has been rather ... dark. I'm not sure how we got to it. But ... I – I would still like it if you wished to stay over. Please know, if you don't want to — for whatever reason — it won't hurt my feelings."
So, there it was. Point blank. An invitation into Donald's bed. And my dick was MIA.
"If I am being honest, I would enjoy being next to you, lying with you, holding you. If – if that is all it was ... would that be okay?" I offered.
"That sounds lovely. Just that."
"I obviously brought nothing with me."
"We won't need clothes," he winked. "I have a spare toothbrush I can offer. Fair enough?"
"Indeed."
We looked at the clock. He winked again, and we stood to go to the bedroom.
Even his bed was meticulously made. He had no pictures of anyone in his bedroom. It was just tidy and tasteful. I liked the painting he had framed on the wall. It was of naked men swimming in what seemed to be a pond or lake.
"Thomas Eakins," Don said.
"Excuse me?"
"That painting you are looking at. I visited Fort Worth many years ago. It is hanging in the Amon Carter. As a gay man, I was drawn to the naked men, but as I looked at it, there was nothing erotic about it. It was just ... innocent. It was painted more than a hundred years ago. The title is `Swimming.' Or `The Swimming Hole.' I was quite taken by it. The comfortableness and honesty of the situation. You'd never see anything like that today, not in the 21st century. I liked it so much that I bought a print in the gift shop."
I continued to look at the print. Don's interpretation of it was exactly right. There was nothing erotic about it. There was a wholesomeness to the scene with six naked males. I found Don more fascinating. And in so doing, I wondered if he would eventually find me completely boring.
Don sat at the edge of the bed and pulled off his cowboy boots.
"Um. I have a request," I said.
Don turned to me and raised an eyebrow.
I looked sheepish. "You are so hot in your cowboy outfit and that huge belt buckle. Is it okay ... if ... for a little bit ... I just make out with you wearing that."
"I'll allow it if you honor my request."
"Ohhh?"
"If you strip to your underwear. Is it a deal?"
I smiled. "Deal."
Don opened a drawer and took out a candle. He lit it and turned out all the lights. I hadn't been with a man by candlelight in years. Gene and I did it on each "anniversary."
I walked up to Don and raised my fingers to his buttons. "I should at least open this up," I winked.
He also unbuttoned my shirt. Eventually, he pushed it off my shoulders, and I let it fall to the floor.
"I like a man with chest hair," he said. "Sadly, I hardly have any."
We kissed in the most passionate way we had up to that point. His hand felt the salt-and-pepper hair on my chest. My hand reached into his open shirt and rubbed his nipple. We kissed for a long time.
My eyes were closed, but I felt his hand move to my belt to unbuckle it. I kicked off my shoes. One of them thumped the dresser, causing us both to look. We let go of each other, and I removed all clothing but my boxers.
Don stretched out on the bed. I smiled and crawled on top of him. We resumed kissing, horizontally. I could feel the big belt buckle press into the waistband of my boxers. I found it erotic. I placed my hands alongside his beard, knowing that much of my weight was crushing him, but at least I was partially held up by my knees.
My right hand left his beard and roamed back inside his thick, pink, Western shirt. My fingers caressed his chest. We both breathed heavily into our kiss.
"You're quite sexy, cowboy," I panted into his neck.
He grabbed my ass and pressed it into his crotch. Through his denim jeans, I could feel his hardness. Pedro was still out for the night.
Don moaned into our kiss, and his tongue found mine. We were sloppy. And I loved it.
He kissed my neck, and I could feel him grinding his groin into mine even harder.
"Take one last look at your cowboy," he said. "I need out of these clothes."
I leaned up on stiff arms and looked at him a final time before he took off his belt below me. He unsnapped his fly and zipped open his pants. I wanted to suck his cock, but I wasn't sure if we were there yet.
Don freed himself from me and stripped down to briefs. He began to pull back the comforter, and I rolled off. Once the bed was ready to be enjoyed again, we both tucked our legs below the covers and pulled it up to our waists. We resumed kissing. And breathing. And panting. And moaning.
My hand reached down to his briefs.
"Damn. Did you shove a flashlight in there?!"
Don giggled.
I rubbed his erection from the outside of his underwear. He was incredibly hard.
"May I?" I moaned into the kiss.
"Please," he said.
I didn't even specify my intentions, but I had permission.
My hand wriggled inside. I found his dick waiting. It was standing at attention. Don pulled his underwear down and off his legs. His erection was saluting me. Six hard inches were as firm as could be. I grabbed it and started stroking his organ.
He moaned.
"That feels very nice," I said.
"Have fun with it," he smiled, and then started mauling me with his mouth again.
I jerked his cock and kissed and moaned and stroked and panted.
We were breathing hard so I unsealed our mouths so that we could get more air. It was the first hard cock I had felt (other than mine) since last summer.
I loved holding it.
I loved feeling it.
I loved stroking it.
I loved jerking it.
And so did Don. He groaned and writhed as I worked his dick over in my grip.
"God! Emory, that feels so good. Don't stop."
"I have no intention of stopping. I love your dick, Don. It's a beauty."
He chuckled and then started groaning again.
Don reached over to feel the front of my boxers. I wasn't hard. But he still reached inside to fondle my penis.
He closed his eyes and sunk the back of his head deeper into the pillow. I liked him feeling my cock, even if Pedro wasn't paying attention. Don, however, was a lead pipe. It was magnificently hard. And he was magnificently loud.
"Ohhhh, Emory. Don't stop. It feels so good."
Then ... Pedro woke up.
"Hey now," Don said, lifting his head.
I stiffened in his grip.
"Let's get you out of those." I let go of his cock to slide the boxers off my legs.
We slightly turned to each other. Our lips met once again, and we kissed passionately as our hands stroked the other's erection.
We moaned.
We groaned.
We stroked.
We grunted.
"Emory," he panted. "Oh yeah. Harder. Emory! Keep going keep going keep going."
"Yes, Don. Do it."
"OH. MY. GOD!" Don came loudly. Like me, the release of cum wasn't a huge amount at our age, but I knew he had an intense orgasm. His body rose and squirmed and finally shuddered.
I kissed him again, my tongue in his mouth. He continued to jerk my cock.
"Oh. Oh. Ohhhh," he panted, once his mouth was free. He breathed deeply coming down from his orgasm.
He let go of my erection to wipe his hand through his cum. He then grabbed my anatomy again and started stroking with the added slickness. A minute later, it became more sticky than slick — and that was working for me.
Stroking.
Jerking.
Rubbing.
I was moaning.
Growling.
Cheering.
To my surprise, Don got on his knees and placed his mouth on my cock. He sucked me with a perfect wetness.
That's all it took.
"Don, I'm coming!!"
He took his mouth off to see me shoot cum a few inches from my cock. I bucked my hips in the wonderful orgasm. His tongue returned to taste the last drops of semen my balls were releasing.
His face returned to my face. We kissed once more.
When we pulled apart, he placed his forehead on mine. Then our noses touched.
"So. That kind of worked out," he said.
I laughed. "Indeed, it did."
Don went to get a washcloth for us.
As I lay there contemplating my penile victory, I felt so many of my anxieties and worries evaporate away. At least for that night.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I felt Gene was happy for me.
A warm, damp cloth on my crotch jarred me from my thoughts. After I was wiped clean, I watched Don wipe our passion from his groin and belly. I looked over his naked body for the first time. At our age, we weren't expected to be Olympians. But I found him, clothed or not, very attractive. I hoped he felt the same about me. I looked forward to being nude with him more often, even if it meant figuring things out one day at a time.
"There's a new toothbrush on the counter next to the toothpaste," Don said.
"Ah." I got up to take care of my teeth, as well as a final pee before bed. I noticed a dim light had been plugged in. Thankfully, I knew that would help when I would need to get up in the middle of the night. I'm sure that was why he had it there. I ripped open the package and stole the virginity of the toothbrush with Colgate.
Don returned to the bed first. I looked down. His briefs were still on the floor. He saw me look.
"I hope that's okay."
"It's your house, your bed, your body."
Gene liked pajamas. I just liked sleeping in underwear. I had no problem climbing in with nothing on. I felt 30 again.
"Oh, can you blow out the candle?" he asked.
I got back up to do so. The room was black.
In the darkness, our lips found each other one more time, and Don moved his body into my arms.
"I'm glad you stayed," he whispered.
"Me too."
"Good night."
—
Larry spilled some coffee on the table. He got up to get a paper napkin. As he walked away, I knew Cooper and I had a brief moment to ourselves.
"Just so you know, I'm okay. Don and me," I quickly told Cooper.
"Okaaayyy??" Cooper was confused.
"I was worried before. We're okay. It's good."
It took a second, but Cooper came around.
"OooOOhhh." He smiled at me. "I'm glad. I'm happy you didn't stop yourself from finding something wonderful."
"We'll see how it goes."
Larry returned and wiped up the drip. I was quiet. He and Cooper were still relatively new. He didn't need to hear about my love life yet.
As I took a sip of coffee, I smiled. I had a love life.
* * * *
For my longtime readers, there might have been moments of déjà vu when reading this chapter. Certain passages also occurred in Laramie, Chapter 15. See more insight at the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com Look for a post: "AIDS."
I always welcome email: timothylane414@gmail.com