Heart Desires

By H

Published on Oct 9, 2001

Gay

The story you are about to read contains explicit material one may find offensive. It contains homosexual acts and behavior between consenting adults. If you know you're not supposed to be here or you know this material will upset you, please hit your back button immediately and get out of here. The story is fictionally written with real life experiences. Any similarities of plot, names, setting, etc. are totally coincidental.

Chapter six - Revelations

I sat at the dining table reading a book by Allan Folsom, and simultaneously enjoying the taste of toasted bagel, spread with cream cheese and strawberry jelly. It was certainly a delectable snack. But something had me feeling a bit antsy. Eric's brother was coming in today from Maryland, and I had to pick him up from the airport. What do I say to him when he arrives? I remember having this same feeling when I had to pick up Sam from the airport two years ago. The only difference this time was that Ryan and I didn't have a thing in the past, this is going to be a very uncomfortable situation. Despite the consequences, the feeling of meeting part of Eric was something to look forward to. Ryan is Eric's brother and I know he's going to remind me of Eric in some subtle way.

I looked on my watch and the numbers displayed 10:22am. Adam had left 20 minutes earlier to take care his laundry. Come to think of it, I really needed to do that too, but I'm so lazy when it comes to washing my clothes. Maybe I'll do it later, after I pick up Ryan from the airport. Gosh, I have to admit, my ass was sore and I tried to sit comfortably, but I couldn't. Adam's cock is really thick, and I know you are probably thinking I should be used to the size by now, but sometimes I still get sore, especially if Adam and I hadn't fucked for a few days, and then we do it after my ass has had a chance to recover. Even with that said, I loved it still and I would want Adam to fuck me again tonight if we get a chance to. I don't want to make Ryan feel uncomfortable if he had to stay with us, so we may not get to fuck for a while, at least for a couple of days. (That's a scary thought!)

Suddenly, the phone rang and startled me from my thoughts. I walked over to the kitchen and picked up the phone. It was Bryan. He wanted me to meet him somewhere so that we could talk. I told him I'd meet him at First Watch in half an hour. I felt a bit uncomfortable being with Bryan, because he openly admits that he still loves me and I just feel spending time with him, especially when he knows he can't have me, is torturing him in ways I can't imagine. But he told me he can handle it, I just pray that he could, because I don't want him suffering in any form.

As I was about to go upstairs to get dress, I heard voices near my apartment door. One of the voices I recognized right away, it was Adam's. The second I wasn't quite sure, but it sounded familiar. I instinctively began walking slowly towards the door, but before I reached halfway, Adam opened the door and pushed it open. I was surprise to see the other individual who was with him. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. Adam walked over and introduced his guest...

"Hey, babes, this is Rouge." Adam said, smilingly. "You probably met him when I had you pick up your Birthday cake a few days ago."

"Yeah, we've met." Rouge said, looking into my eyes and smiling. "It's nice to see you again."

I stood speechless. Why does this scene seemed so awkward to me? Last night I was on the verge of going crazy when I thought Adam was cheating on me with Rouge, now here he was standing side by side with my man. I barely smiled and shook his hands...

"Yeah, nice to see you too." I told him.

We all stood silent for a few seconds until Adam spoke up.

"Taylor, looks like we'll be seeing a lot of Rouge from now on." Adam said just a bit too joyously.

"Yeah, why is that?" I inquired.

"He's moving into our apartment complex soon." Said Adam. "Yesterday evening, he and a friend came to check out the apartment unit and they liked it, so I guess they would need some help in moving their stuff in their new apartment. This reminds me of the time when I moved in here, and I asked Taylor for his help, man, I think about that time now and it just made me realize that I really loved you from the beginning, Taylor, I just didn't see it."

I was surprise to see Adam talking like this in front of Rouge, maybe Rouge knows that Adam and I were gay. Why else would Adam be so comfortable expressing his feelings for me? I was still at a loss though. What does Rouge moving in have to do with Adam?

"Wow!" I responded, cheerfully, but not sincerely. "Um, Adam, I didn't know Rouge and you were such good friends."

"Well, I didn't know that either until you mentioned it." Rouge said, beamingly. "Adam was kind enough to tell me about University Squares. I was looking for a new place to move to, but everywhere I searched was so expensive."

"But University Squares met your budget?" I inquired.

"Yeah, not only could I afford a one bedroom here, but I don't have to pay for the water I use. That's not common anymore. Dude, this is what I was looking for and I have Adam to thank for it."

"I see." I said, in a dubious voice.

I wondered what Rouge was up to. What was his real motive for moving in the same apartment complex where Adam and I lived? I just didn't get it. Maybe I'm acting like an ass, but I just don't trust men around Adam, especially ones I know who want him. But I was a little bothered because Adam didn't mention this to me. It makes me wonder if Adam is hiding something. I'll talk to him about it later.

"Well, when do you plan to move in?" I asked Rouge.

"Probably Wednesday, or Thursday of next week, depends on how things go." He told me.

"I guess I should say welcome to University Squares and that you're welcome to visit us anytime." I told Rouge, extending my right hand.

"Thanks, man." Said Rouge, shaking my hand and then winked at me.

Adam didn't know that Rouge and I met on more than one occasion, so we pretended like we never talked to each other. I hated how lies are started. No matter how small they seem, it still impacts a relationship on some level, and then deteriorates the bond of trust. I didn't want that to happen to Adam and I, so I'd consider telling him later that Rouge and I talked on a few occasions.

"Hey, I almost forgot, I need to go and put my clothes in the dryer." Adam interjected. "Um, Taylor, I want to talk to you when I get back. OK?"

"Yeah, um no, I mean, I won't be here." I stuttered. "I'm going out."

"Oh, OK, then I'll wait until you get back." Adam said, smiling.

"I'll walk out with you, Adam." Said Rouge. "See you later, Taylor."

"Yeah." I told him, as I turned to go upstairs.

As I slipped my legs through a pair corduroy slacks, I thought about Rouge and Adam. I wondered if Adam liked Rouge in a sexual way, because he seems to get excited just mentioning his name. I was Adam's first...and only. Maybe he wants to try something new with someone else. If that's the case, then I don't know what do to. I don't know if I should let him discover other possibilities or fight to keep him to myself. Adam is so good looking and so damn sweet. Any gay guy would find him attractive and would die for the chance to be with him. I don't know if I can handle the idea of some guy fucking Adam and making him cum without him touching himself. I hate decisions, especially big ones like this.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled up to First Watch. I met Bryan standing outside with a pair of shades on. I was immediately reminded of the time we first met, and I couldn't take my eyes of his voluptuous lips. Today was no exception.

"Hi." Bryan hailed.

"Hey." I hailed back. "Are you really hungry?"

"Not really, why?" Bryan inquired.

"Well, I was eating breakfast when you called and I'm not hungry anymore." I told him.

"It's cool, I need to go on a diet anyway." He said, smiling.

"No you don't, you look great just the way you are." I told him.

"Are you noticing me, Mr. Taylor Hastings?" Bryan teased.

"Oh, come on, you wanted me to say that." I said, laughing.

"You better watch out, because I'm tempted to do something I know I shouldn't even be thinking about." He jested.

My laughter slowly turned serious, and I thought about the statement Bryan had just made. I hope he wasn't serious.

"Don't get so serious, I'm only playing around." Said Bryan. "Look, let's go somewhere cool so that we can talk."

We drove to the lake and sat on a wooden bench. A few men dressed in tattered pants were fishing a few hundred yards from us. The breeze made the palm trees dance in a seductive manner, and we enjoyed the beautiful music that the birds made as some flew past us. Bryan looked at me for what seemed to be forever, before he spoke...

"Taylor, man, Adam is one lucky guy to have you in his life."

"Bryan, are you OK?" I questioned him.

"Yes. I made a promise to you that I'll go on with my life and I have" he told me. "It's just that sometimes, when I think about you, I can't help myself wanting to feel the touch of your skin again. Sometimes when I'm making out with Ossie, I pretend like it's you who I'm making love with. I know that's totally unfair to Ossie, but Taylor, I really can't help it sometimes."

"Oh man, what did I do to you?" I looked at him with much concern. "And you're right, it's not fair to Ossie, but then again, it seems like sex is the only reason you two are together."

"Well, he knows that I have feelings for you" he told me. "Oswaldo and I understand that a man has certain needs, especially a gay man, and we agreed to fulfill those needs once we stayed clear of getting attached to each other."

"I see." I said, flatly. "Bryan, I know I should be the last person to be telling you what to do with your life, but I care about you and I don't want to see you get hurt. What if Ossie wants more? Then what?"

"He wouldn't." He said, confidently.

"What makes you so sure that he wouldn't?" I pushed.

"Because, Ossie is not the relationship type." He retorted.

"But YOU are, and I know you can't live your life without something solid." I told him. "How long do you plan on seeing Oswaldo?"

"Like I've told you, I'm not seeing him." He said, in an irritated tone of voice. "Look, Ossie and I just fuck, that's all, Taylor!"

"Hey, I'm sorry that this is making you upset." I apologized sincerely. "I didn't know this was such a sensitive subject."

Bryan looked at me and I could tell he didn't mean to raise his voice at me, but I understood. Here I am trying to give him advice about Oswaldo and I was the one he wanted.

"Taylor, I'm sorry for snapping at you like that." He said, clutching my hands between his. "Please, let me deal with this in my own way, if I get hurt, then I just do. That's life."

"OK, if that's what you want, I'll butt out and let you handle your own situations." I told him, with a sincere smile on my face.

"Thank you. I'm going to be fine, Taylor." He assured me. "Don't waste your time worrying about me."

"Don't say that." I told him. "You know that I care for you, and I'm naturally going to worry about you if I know you're not doing well."

"I'm a big boy, Taylor." He said, laughingly. "I'm not as fragile as I look."

"I didn't say you were fragile." I told him. "We all have weak moments in our life, and we all need someone to lean on."

"I get your point, Taylor." He smiled. "At least I have you as a friend and that's better than not having you in my life at all."

"I'm here for you, Bryan." I told him, as I tapped him softly on his shoulders. "Oh man look at the time, I have to get going. Are you sure you're OK?"

"Of course I am." He said, assertively.

"OK, I'll se you around, soon." I told him, as I stood up."

We hugged each other and parted in separated cars.

Meanwhile, in Rouge's Apartment..............

"Hey, it looked like everything's going according to plan." Said Rouge joyfully. "I'm moving in University Squares very soon, and things are going to heat up around there."

"I want this shit to work, no screw ups." Came the voice on the other end of the phone. "I want Taylor and Adam's relationship to come to a halt. I can't take it anymore!"

"Don't worry, man, I'll have Adam eating out of my hands before you can say my name backwards." Said Rouge, laughingly.

"Just don't fuck him, he's mine." Said the voice, sternly. "You can have foreplay, kiss, watch porno movies, whatever, but don't stick your damn cock up his ass!"

"Hey, hey, I hear you, man. I'll do my part, you just relax and I'll update you on the details in a few days." Rouge told his partner.

"One other thing..." the voice interjected.

"What's that?" Inquired Rouge.

"Are the police still on the Eric Royal murder case?" Questioned the voice.

"They haven't closed the case, if that's what you're asking." Answered Rouge.

"They'll never find what they're looking for." The voice laughed. "Keep me updated on both stories."

"Yeah, will do, man." Said Rouge. "Relax, everything will work out the way it's suppose to."

"You just don't fuck up!" The voice said, strongly.

Back at Taylor and Adam's apartment.

I sat in the den trying to decide whether to do my laundry before I go to the airport for Ryan. It was about 2:15pm and I assessed the hours between now and the time to go the airport, and my conclusion was that two hours would suffice to sort my clothes, put them in the washer for thirty minutes, then in the dryer for an hour.

When I came home earlier, I didn't meet Adam here. I wondered where he could be? I try not to think any negative thoughts, but I had a hard time trying to convince myself that Adam and Rouge were just platonic friends and nothing more. This Rouge guy was such a mystery to me, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me, why he was so damn intriguing. There's something about him I can't put my finger on, and it seems like Adam really likes him.

The thoughts of me letting Adam explore his sexuality with other gay men sent a chill all through my body. I don't know if I can handle the mental pressure. The part I'm still questioning is why didn't Adam mention Rouge to me? I hate this feeling that was inside of me, it felt like something bad was going to happen and there wouldn't be much I can do to stop it.

I ran upstairs to sort out my dirty clothes into two piles. One pile was for the whites and the other for colors. As I opened the door to go the laundry room, Adam appeared in front of me. He smiled, kissed me and walked inside with a brown paper bag in his hand. I turned and looked at him, with a bemused expression.

"Hey you, what you got there in the bag?" I questioned jokingly.

"Oh this?" He teased. "Just a little something I picked up from Spencer's."

Now I know Spencer's was an adult store and I started to wonder what in the world Adam was doing there.

"So are you going to tell me what's in the bag?" I pushed.

"Nawh! You have to wait until tonight." He laughed.

"Oh, come on, I can't wait that long." I pouted playfully.

"That's too bad!" Adam said, still laughing. "It'll be worth the wait."

"The suspense is killing me, Adam!" I exulted. "I can't take it anymore, I'm going to put my clothes in the washer, and I'll deal with you when I get back."

He laughed at that. I really loved Adam with my whole heart and I'll do anything for him, even if he wants to have sex with other guys. Suddenly, it hit me that I have a presentation to make first thing Monday morning and I needed to add the finishing touches to my notes. I'm confident that the directors will be pleased with my work, but I always get nervous when I'm about to talk in front of a group of people. But seeing Jonathan's face would make me feel much better. His presence gives me a sense of assurance and I just smiled at the thought of just having such a wonderful supervisor.

Finally, an hour and half later, I was done with my laundry. I looked on the clock which read 4:01pm. I washed my face, put on a clean shirt, and hurried down to my BMW. I was on edge as I drove to the airport to pick up Ryan. I put on some soft R&B/Pop music to try and take my mind off the situation at hand. I didn't want to appear to be a nervous wreck.

My birthday was actually tomorrow. Although my friends had a party for me on Wednesday past, I wasn't going to be 24 until Sunday. Maybe that's why Adam went to Spencer's. He wanted to do something special for me. Gosh, that guy is something else.

Approximately 25 minutes later, I pulled into the airport parking lot. I walked to the gate entrance and waited on Ryan to come through. I sat distracted for 5 minutes and then I saw Ryan. I couldn't believe how different he looked from the last time I saw him. I almost didn't recognize him. Man, he looked good! I stood and stared at him as he approached me. He definitely had Eric's eyes and I knew this was going to be a very interesting time for me.

"Hey." Ryan hailed, as he extended his right hand.

"Hey." I hailed back and shook his hand. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"I looked that different?" He inquired. "Maybe it's the glare in here.

Oh my goodness, he smiled and I saw Eric all over again. I know it sounds lame that I want Ryan to look like Eric, but I'm so serious with this. Ryan really had strong resemblance to Eric. I continued to stare at this young, fresh, untouched specimen.

"Are you OK, dude?" Ryan asked, alerting me back to reality.

"Oh, yeah. Why'd you ask?" I questioned.

"You seem far away, that's all." He said.

"You remind me of Eric." I told him, not realizing those words left my lips. "Man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up."

"You don't have to apologize for missing him, you know." Said Ryan. "It's nice to know that you haven't totally forgotten about him."

"I'll never forget Eric, how could I?" I said seriously. "Anyway, we better get going so that I can get you sorted out at the college."

"I'm not staying at the dorm." Ryan told me, as we walked downstairs to the baggage claim.

"What you do you mean you're not staying at the dorm?" I questioned him.

"Just like I said." Ryan said seriously. "My father wants me stay at the dorm until I turned 20 and then move into my own place, but I don't want to wait. I want to move to my own place now."

"Oh boy! I don't want to know where this heading." I told him.

"Hear me out." He said, trying to hold a gaze as we walked and then stood waiting for his luggage to come through. "My mom said you'll be willing to help me out, does that offer still stand?"

"Not if it's going to get you into trouble." I said, trying to sound serious.

"What's the big deal?" He questioned. "I'm 18 and I can decide whether I want to live on campus or not."

"But your dad is paying for your college tuition. At least that counts for something." I told him. "How do you know once he finds out that you're not living on campus, he's going to go along with it?"

"How's he's going to find out, unless you tell him." Ryan said looking at me. "Look, if you don't want to help me find a place, I'll do it on my own."

"Man, even if I decide to help you, you're not going to get approved for an apartment right away." I told him. It's going to take at least two weeks before you can find one that you can afford, and speaking of paying for an apartment, who's going to take care of that?"

"My mom." He answered quickly. "She promised to send me the money for rent until I get a job to take care of my own bills."

"I see. You have this all figured out, huh?" I said, sarcastically.

"Not really." He said, looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"I need somewhere to stay until I find my apartment." He said, looking in my eyes for a response.

"I'm not going to fight you on this anymore." I told him. "You can stay with me if you want."

"Thanks, dude. I knew you wouldn't leave me stranded." Ryan said, as he picked up his suitcase and walked with me back to my car.

Ryan seemed to be cool so far, but I don't know how cool he's going to be when he actually realizes that he's moving in with two gay guys. He didn't even mention anything about my sexual orientation. Maybe he prefers not to talk about it at all. Ryan was good-looking and very sexy for a straight guy. He had blonde hair with highlights, which reminded me of Jonathan. He appears to be 6'1 and probably about 150lbs. I couldn't believe I was sizing up Eric's brother. I just hope he's really OK with living in the apartment with two gay guys. And judging what Adam had in that bag from Spencer's, we may just fuck our brains out tonight...

To be continued...

This is where chapter six ends. I hope you enjoyed it as much as had writing it. Stay tuned for chapter seven and watch a mystery unravel before your eyes.

Next: Chapter 22: Soulful Desires 7


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