Disclaimer: The following account is true. It is more of an autobiography rather than a fictional story. It delves on the concept of BDSM, more specifically, the Master/slave relationship. If you are looking for a story with lots of explicit sex scenes, this is not one of them. However, I hope that you will spend some time and read this story anyway. Any comments can be directed to me. Thank you.
There were a lot of feedbacks on the first story, thanks a lot and keep them coming! They keep me going!
************************** The Heart Of The Slave 2 **************************
I did not intend to write a sequal to this story originally, but it seems that I have more things to say. For the past couple of days, the urge to serve another person has been more than overwhelming. I was reading a story on the Archive by the title Willing Slave, and it sparked something inside me. I don't really know what it is, but the desire to be a slave became so great that it was unbearable. I had to chain myself to the bed when I sleep so that I won't do something stupid while I am asleep. Frankly, I don't understand why someone would wants to be a slave so much, but here I am, a living example.
So what is stopping me from being a slave? Well, as I mentioned in the first installment, I am an only child so sex is almost very difficult, especially gay sex. Or maybe I am just too afraid to try. One of the feedbacks I got outlines the hypothesis that some people are so afraid to have sex, they need bondage and SM in order to make it feels like the sex is forced upon them, that they have no choice. Either way, it's not easy to tell your parents that you are doing another guy, and even tougher to tell them that you want to be a slave to another man. I don't think its entirely possible.
My original plan was to leave the place where I grew up and go somewhere that no one knows me. Start over. Just a simple life. Don't really care about being somebody in the world. Just want to serve someone. Maybe go into the porn industry. I like that, just that I don't think I am physically built for something like that. My dick is small. Even when at maximum mass, it is only 5". I don't workout that much, cause why would anyone wants a six packs when I can have a barrel? Actually, it's not that I don't like to workout, just that I can't afford gyms and all. And everytime I see exercise machines something else comes to mind. How I can be tied in various positions on the machine and be used and abused. Well, keeps the workout interesting.
Something interesting happened after I read the above-mentioned story. Normally, I would masturbate 2 to 3 times a day, cause that's the way I stay sane. And it just feels so good to get off, especially after a 3 hours session. No, you didn't read wrong and I didn't write wrongly. Often I'd go pumping my rod (if it can be called that at such length) for 3 hours while I am reading stories in the Archive, and the orgasm after one of these sessions are mind-boggling, earth-shattering, knees-buckling, and there was once when it was insanity-reducing. I actually laugh during orgasm! Too much endorphin I guess. However, after that story, when I came, it almost felt obligatory, and a little guilty. It was like I was supposed to cum because I was ordered to, but since I wasn't, it felt a little guilty. I know I am not making sense, but I haven't masturbated in two days now.
I had this experience of being an online slave to a Master in Canada. We normally had cyber sex via ICQ. He would order me what to do and I'd do it. Once, he had my balls tied with strings, a couple of clothepegs clamped on my nipples, a vibrator up my ass, and then ordered me to use ice to rub my testicles. Damn that hurt, but not as much as the clothepegs he had me put on them while my balls are still tied! When he allowed me to cum finally, it was a blast! Strangely he doesn't ask me to do anything anymore. Maybe he has grown tired of me. Too obedient some said. No fun.
One other thing that really makes me go quesy is the idea of a slave training center. I know that a few do exist in some parts of the world, but this story in the Archive that goes by the title Boyz Brutal Training School was a good unfinished story. Imagining myself as one of the students there is one of my favourite fantasy. I even at one time or another thought that I might have what it takes to build a place like that, maybe even a country. But then again I am too submissive to do anything about my abilities. I'd just sit around jacking off most of the time. I learnt masturbation a little later than most other people, so I suppose I am making up for lost time.
Everybody has a comfort zone. I have been in mine for far too long and it is getting to my sanity. When I first read the story A Slave's Life in the Archive (I am not trying to promote stories here, just a reference), the idea of being kidnapped scared the living daylight out of me. But right now I don't think that I'd care that much. You see, since it is so hard for me to make decisions and leave behind my comfort zone, I think that being forced and taken would be so much easier. Or maybe I am just trying to find the easy way out. Always.
I used to say no to relocations. I even had an offer from a Master in Greece. Right now, I can't really wait to leave. The only problem is that I do not have anywhere to go or does not have the means to leave just yet. Maybe some days when the sun rises on the west and sets in the east.
So this is the end for now. Thanks for reading, and sorry for wasting your time. Don't know if there I will follow up on this story of my life, although I am quite sure there will be. To all those who feedbacked to me, thanks a bunch. Your words meant a lot to me. To the Masters who were interested in me, I am very honoured and flattered. Thank you, Sirs. Keep the e-mails coming and tell me how you felt about the story. I will reply to everyone, but if I didn't or don't, then maybe by some chances I did not get it in my mailbox. Try to send it again. Thanks.