How I Spent My Summer Vacation

How I Spent My Summer Vacation By Carol Hitchcock - Part 3

A story by Rogue Writer

(F/F, ORAL, ANAL, TOYS, JEWLERY, EXHIBITIONISM, EXPLICIT DRUG USE AND EXPLICIT WHIPPED CREAM USE)

QUICKIE DISCLAIMER - Look up. Don't like it, don't read it.

VERY IMPORTANT! READ THIS FIRST! - When we last left our heroine Carol, she was walking into the bathroom where Kim might have already committed suicide. I only mention it because someone told me the start of this part might confuse some readers. So don't be confused. (P.S. - notice the chapter title!)

CHAPTER 11: THE WAY WE WERE

I woke up that morning thanks to the sun blasting through the window. That was odd because usually I close the drapes before I go to bed. My eyes opened before my brain could communicate what a horrible idea that truly was. It felt like someone stuck hot pokers into my sockets and they burrowed into the back of my brain. My hand reached out, took a pen from my nightstand and threw it at nature's invading force. The pen might be mightier than the sword, but unfortunately it can't do shit against sunlight. When my hand landed back on the bed it touched skin.

Not my skin.

My eyes flew open and my head popped up to see a mess of blonde hair on the pillow next to mine. There was the quickest moment of uncertainty. Oh yeah, the club last night. The girl determined to get the DJ to play KMFDM.

Katie. No, Kelly. Kerrie. Kim, that's it. It surprised me that I'd forgotten, but then I remembered how much I drank. More than I ever had before. I was never a big drinker, and always prevented myself from going overboard by bringing only twenty dollars with me whenever I went to a bar or a club.

But this Kim kept buying us rounds. I had one of those hangovers where part of you is still a little drunk. Yet it didn't hurt so much looking at that mess of blonde hair, the emotions from last night coming back. That excitement you feel when meeting someone new, the electricity in the air when you realize you're not the only one feeling the attraction, the anticipation of that first kiss.

That first kiss happened in the parking lot. The club was closing and I told Kim I'd walk her to her car. We exchanged numbers and arrived at that awkward moment when you either both say goodnight and walk off or you take a chance. As usual, the little war in my head between the two sides was fighting a battle. The rational side was telling me to walk away because it was too soon for a kiss, while the naughty side said to go for it for obvious reasons.

"Having a hard time there?" Kim asked.

"Um, what?"

"I can see it on your face," she said. "You can't decide what to do right now, can you?"

Oh shit, I thought. Was I that obvious? Have I always been that obvious? Has everyone always been able to see my indecision? Or does this girl have some kind of psychic ability? That would suck, dating a psychic. How could you plan any surprises? Or lie to her when she asks if you were checking out another girl? Hell, she wouldn't even have to ask, she'd already know. That would really suck. And why the hell was I rambling on in my head like this?

"Uh..." I said. While that may sound like part of some brilliant strategy to stall for time to think, it was really because I was drunk, embarrassed, caught off guard and scared. Not an ideal combination. I managed to save myself somewhat by looking down at the ground and saying, "yeah, I think so."

Kim burst out in laughter. I stood there feeling self-conscious. When she finished laughing, Kim looked up at me and said, "Tell you what, I'll decide for you." And with that she put her hand on my cheek, leaned in and kissed me. It was a light kiss, using just lips at first, but soon our tongues wanted to play and we let them have at it. I put my arms around her and held her tight, pinning her upper arms to her body. Kim managed to put her hands on my waist. She started sucking on my tongue, and I loosened my grip on her upper body. My hands slid down to her ass and squeezed her jean-covered cheeks, making her moan in my mouth. We slowly broke the kiss, and for a moment just stood staring at each other.

"Ahem."

We were both so preoccupied we didn't notice we had an audience. A car had pulled up beside us and my roommate was sitting in the passenger seat. "Sorry to interrupt, but I've got to work in the morning. We need to get going."

I was going to say I'd be there in just a minute, but suddenly I heard, "I'll take her home." I turned and Kim was smiling. "If that's okay?"

Before the car took off my roommate smiled and said, "Good luck."

A little while later I was depending on that good luck. Kim was racing down the road with the top down and the music blasting. At first I was excited because I'd never been in a convertible before. But when Kim started making the engine perform like what it was made for, I suddenly realized how open and vulnerable a convertible made you. My body cowered down in the seat a little and I braced my left hand against the dashboard while my right held tight onto the door. Kim laughed at my reaction. I was positive she was well above the legal limit, both in alcohol and speed. All I kept thinking was seat belts or not, if she crashes we are so dead.

I knew we were at my place when Kim said "You can open your eyes now." I did and actually breathed a sigh of relief. "So how was your first ride in a convertible?" she asked.

With a cracked voice I said, "I'll never forget it."

Kim laughed again. "You are so cute when you're freaked out."

We went up to my apartment and sat on the couch. I turned on a local radio station and kept it low even though my roommate's bedroom was on the other side of the apartment, and then I went to the kitchen to get us something to drink. When I came back Kim had taken off her shoes and was sitting with her back against the arm of the couch, so I took up the same position on the other side. She brought her knees to her chest and her feet were facing me.

While we sat there and talked I took in her beautiful face, the cute button nose and those piercing blue eyes. But my attention kept getting drawn down to those beautiful feet. They were perfectly formed, with toes that were thin but still had a good shape to them. At first I thought her toenails didn't have any polish, but then I noticed they were coated with a clear gloss. I can usually manage to check out a girl's feet and not get caught, but my eyes couldn't resist the toe ring on her left index toe. It wasn't one of those thin toe rings that you have to give a second glance just to see if it's there, this was a thick one that screamed 'Look at me!'

While I was never big into body jewelry, foot jewelry always gained a little extra stare from me, and that combined with feet as beautiful as Kim's had me working hard not to be obvious. But it became hopeless when she pulled up the legs of her jeans to get more comfortable and exposed the gold chain around her right ankle. I kept up the conversation, but a couple of minutes later Kim interrupted me, asking, "What are you looking at?"

"I was just noticing your jewelry there," I said, hoping to cover.

"Noticing? You were pretty much speaking to them instead of me."

"Sorry," I said, "they're just nicer than other one's I've seen." It was a lie, but I had to try something.

Kim's eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "You have a foot thing, don't you?"

That's it- she was psychic. The girl could read me like an open book. At that point I was convinced this was going nowhere. She had noticed every weakness and strange behavior I have. Figuring I may as well own up to this one too, I swallowed hard and said "Kinda."

"What do you like to do to them?" she asked.

That caught me off guard. "I, I've never really done too much before."

Kim looked at me for a second with this grin on her face. Then she lifted her left foot and extended it towards me. "Go ahead," she said. It felt strange and exciting all at once. Strange because I couldn't believe this girl who I just met was indulging me with one of my fantasies. Exciting because I never really had the guts to try anything with a girl's foot before and now I had permission. I cupped the bottom of her foot with my right hand so she didn't have to hold it up. With my left hand I started stroking up and down, my fingers along the arch and my thumb on the bottom. I used some pressure with the thumb so as not to tickle her.

I was a little hesitant to use my mouth, but when I looked at the toe ring my embarrassment was overcome by desire, so I opened my mouth and leaned down. Capturing her big and index toes, I sucked lightly at first and slid my tongue left to right under them. I heard a soft moan from Kim, so I gradually increased the pressure. Looking at her feet when we were talking I thought I was as turned on as I could be, but this brought it to a whole other level. I could feel myself starting to get wet. The sensations of the toe ring against my mouth added something as well, reminding me that I was only admiring it minutes ago and now I had it in my mouth.

I looked at Kim to see if this was freaking her out, but she had a thrilled look in her eyes and a smile on her face. My mouth let go of her first two toes and I started sucking on the last three. This time I started moving my head up and down a little.

"Mmmmmmm," was Kim's vocal response. I let my lips roll over the toes as I pulled away. Holding up her foot a little higher I extended my tongue and licked the bottom, just at the base of the toes first, then in little sections going down towards the heel. The first time I tickled her she laughed and yanked her foot away. I was afraid that she was going to stop it there, but she just said, "You can't stop making me laugh tonight," and put her foot back in my hand. As I continued licking I realized what she said was true. I was worried because Kim was seeing all the things I was self-conscious about, but she had been laughing at them. And not a malicious laugh, but a sweet one that made me realize she saw those things as endearing.

When I got to the heel of her foot I looked up at Kim. She took her foot back and put it on the couch. I was about to say thanks when she picked up the other one and extended it towards me. "Can't let this one feel left out, can we?" I liked this girl.

I took her right foot in my hands and decided to do something different. I started by using my tongue to lick each toe individually, front, back and around the sides. Kim occasionally flexed and curled her toes as I did this. I looked up and saw that she was leaning back, her eyes closed and her mouth open, her hands playing with her breasts through her top. I took this to mean she was enjoying my treatment and gave myself a mental pat on the back.

"I have never seen someone get off on feet like you do," Kim said. That made me think about how turned on I was at the moment, how wet I was. I decided to be bold and do something about it. My right hand went to my skirt and pulled it back a little. Reaching underneath, I felt the wet spot against my panties and got an electric jolt when I pressed against them. I started rubbing the area and gave a little moan as I got off on the dual sensations of licking a girl's toes and playing with myself.

Suddenly I felt something on my hand. It was Kim's left foot. I looked up and saw she had opened her eyes and was propped up with her elbows behind the couch arm. "Why don't you let me do that," she said. I smiled and moved my hand away, letting her foot take over.

"Mmmm," escaped my lips as I felt her toes press against my pussy. She used the ball of her foot a little too. I sucked on the side of her instep, going up and down with my mouth. Kim told me to stop for a moment and pulled her foot from between my legs. Using both arms she pulled her top over her head and tossed it on my coffee table. Her exposed breasts gave me another jolt of excitement, but I would have to wait to get at them. We went back to our little three-way pleasure pyramid. Kim was getting pleasure by playing with her breasts, I was getting wetter and wetter with her foot job, and I know we were both getting something from my sucking her foot. I took to licking her ankle, my tongue going over the skin and anklet at the same time. I'm not sure how long we continued on, just that I could feel my orgasm building, ironically enough, from my toes. I started sucking hers when I was about to go over the edge. Kim was using her big toe, curling it up and down against my lips. As I came I moaned with her toes in my mouth. When I was finished, Kim lay back on the couch and motioned me to join her. We held each other in this serene, quiet moment where I could feel my heart pumping in my chest.

"That was so weird and so wild at the same time," Kim said, echoing my earlier thoughts.

We cuddled for a while as Kim stroked my hair. Looking into those eyes of hers I felt like they were staring right into my soul. I leaned in and lightly kissed her on the lips, keeping my mouth right next to hers afterwards. We stayed in that position for a moment and I realized that all my fear was gone, drowned in this moment of bliss. And I knew it was because of Kim. Something about this girl quieted the war inside my head. I leaned in again and this time kissed her with more feeling, more passion. Our open mouths danced together as my tongue felt the warm softness of hers.

We tightened our embrace, our mouths let go and we showered each other with little kisses. I tasted the slightly bitter tang of dried saliva on skin. It was like an aphrodisiac that made me even more abandoned as my tongue went in after hers again. My hand went down to find her bare breast and squeezed it, making her moan in appreciation. I pulled away from Kim and with fire in my voice I said, "Let's go to my bedroom."

When we got in there we started kissing again as I guided Kim towards the bed. We fell onto it as our kiss continued, she managed to undo the strings for my top and pulled it off without breaking our bond. Her fingers danced on my globes, driving my already escaped naughty side crazy. I pulled away and told her to stay there as I went into one of my drawers and came out with a scarf. I climbed on top of Kim and told her to trust me as I took her hands and tied them up. I brought her hands over her head and tied the other end to the bed frame.

For a brief second I felt trepidation, but all I had to do was look at Kim and it went away. My mouth started with her neck and made its way down to her breasts. I licked the valley between them, and then gave light kisses all over each of her tits. The last kiss I gave was on her right nipple, which I sucked between my lips as my other hand fondled her left breast. I had only done this a few times before, but I was getting high off of being able to touch and lick someone else's skin.

It was while I was doing this that I got my first exposure to Kim's sweet talk during sex. "Oooohhh fuck. Suck my goddammed tit. Suck it harder. Shit. Fuck." I sucked harder, and then gave a little nibble with my teeth before moving over to her left breast. I licked all around the areole before zeroing in on her nipple by flicking my tongue back and forth over it. Kim started pulling on the scarf as her mouth spewed more obscenities. I went down to her tummy and licked her shallow belly button while my hands clumsily worked on undoing the button of her jeans. When I finally got it open I slid down the zipper and pulled them off, revealing a pair of yellow panties. I leaned down and buried my nose in them, inhaling her sweet scent. Sticking out my tongue I flicked it against the material that was denying her the pleasure I had to offer. Kim gasped at the action, so I did it again and again, trying to see how long I could torture her before she freaked out. I used my nose between licks to rub around where her clit hood would be. Even though her eyes were closed I could see the frustration in her face, I had tied her hands well so she couldn't undo the knot herself. Finally she broke. "Fucking stop it!" she screamed.

"Okay," I said, and sat up from between her legs.

"No! Wait! I meant stop teasing me!"

"I did." I said it with a smile on my face.

Her eyes flew open and she looked at me with a 'Don't give me that shit' look. "You know what I mean!" For a second I thought I'd really pissed her off, but there was half a smile on her face after she said it. I slid my hands up along her legs until I got under the sides of her panties, grabbed them and slowly slid them down. Kim pulled up her feet to help get them off, but before she put her feet down again I gave a quick lick on the bottom of her right foot. Kim let out a quick laugh from the tickle. "Stop it!" she yelled, then slapped me in the face with her foot.

"Ow!" I rubbed the side of my face. It was a mild hit but it still hurt.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry." Kim started to rise and forgot her bonds. "I just-," She fell back onto the bed and got frustrated. "I didn't-," she tried to pull out of the scarf, but got frustrated and gave up. "Dammit! I want to hug you but I can't get up!"

I chuckled at her predicament. Kim brought up her legs and wrapped them around my waist in a pseudo-hug. "There," she said, "you feel better?" We both erupted in laughter that lasted for several minutes. When it died down she asked, "Seriously, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. They breed us farm girls tough down in Kentucky."

"Well if that's the case, and it's not too much trouble, I'd like to have my pussy eaten sometime before the sun comes up."

"Ah'd be happy to oblige, young lady," I said. My hands took Kim's legs from around my waist and held them up so I could give small, light kisses down each one. Don't ask me why I didn't notice her pussy was shaved until I was right on top of it. I'd seen shaved pussies in the locker room back in high school, but this was the first time I was going to lick one. I started by continuing my light kiss treatment on her mound, which caused a deep sigh from Kim. My tongue came out and ran over her bare mons using long, slow licks, and then my hands spread her open. Before I did anything else I brought my nose right up to Kim's open flower and inhaled her scent. I did that, I thought to myself, I was the cause of a series of events in her body that resulted in what I was smelling right now. The thought of that simply amazed me. Of course, all that thinking meant I'd stopped acting.

"Hey," Kim said, "are you torturing me again?"

I smiled. "No, just being a nerd." Before Kim had a chance to respond to that I pressed my lips right up to her pussy and gave it a kiss. Kim moaned and I started licking. She squirmed and started her ode to my abilities. "Fuck! Uh! Eat me. Eat my fucking cunt. Shit! Fuck yeah! Fuck!" I couldn't believe the mouth on this girl. I knew truck drivers who didn't swear this much. Really.

I sucked on her inner lips and savored the taste I had a hand (and tongue) in causing. Then I slowly slid my tongue inside of her. I loved that warm feeling, the contractions of her walls on my flesh, the sensations of softness and moisture. I moved my tongue in and out a few times before removing it completely and replacing it with my index finger. Kim gave a long, slow moan as I carefully moved my finger inside of her. I started lapping and sucking at the hood of her clit as my finger moved steadily in and out.

Kim wasn't saying anything anymore, just moaning, grunting and sighing. Her eyes were open and staring down at me. I would occasionally look up and make eye contact with her. Those looks we exchanged kept driving me on, giving me more and more sexual energy. I started going wild on Kim, eating her out with fury. In my few past experiences I was slow and methodical when going down on a girl because I was nervous and shy. But that night my inhibitions were gone. I had always wanted to lick a girl's feet and now I'd done it. I'd always wanted to tie a girl down and I did it without even pausing for thought. Suddenly I was eating out Kim with a passion that was making up for every thought I'd second-guessed, every desire I'd buried, every opportunity I'd passed up.

Part of that passion was bringing her to the brink of orgasm and then slowing her down. I'd bring her right to where I thought she was going to cum and then I'd stop moving my fingers and slow down my tongue or keep it up with my fingers and stop my tongue completely. As soon as I heard Kim's breathing slow down I'd start up again. This went on until I finally judged wrong and went too far. Kim let out a cry as I licked her clit and she went over the edge.

I sat up and looked at her. Kim was breathing heavy and there was some sweat on her brow. I realized I could smell some sweat on myself as well. I leaned over her and untied the scarf. As I did she lifted up and sucked on my right nipple. I cooed. When I had her loose she pulled me down on top of her and kissed me passionately. After the kiss she looked into my eyes. We didn't say another word as we both got under the covers and hugged each other. I'm not sure which one of us passed out first, meaning I probably did.

After the sun woke me up the next morning (it seemed to have no effect on Kim) I got up and closed the drapes, then got back into bed and passed out again. The next thing I remember feeling was incredible pleasure. Actually I can't say I would have used those words then, because I was still asleep, but now I know how to describe it. I just felt a warm, comfortable sensation all over my body. I woke up slowly, my eyes fluttering to rid them of sleep. There was a big lump under the covers and the only thing on the pillow next to me was a pair of legs bent at the knees, the feet I fell in love with last night hovering in the air.

"What are you doing?" I sighed it more than said it.

The lump under the covers moved and said, "Waking you up with sex. Isn't it the shit?" While Kim spoke I felt her fingers playing where her tongue had just been.

"Yeah," I breathed.

Kim's tongue went back to work. It felt wonderful, still half asleep and receiving this kind of attention. If I didn't have such a hangover in my head it would have been perfect, but it was still the best wake up call I'd ever received. Kim stopped again and said, "Sorry, I'm having a little trouble breathing here."

I grabbed the covers and tossed them off the end of the bed, giving me a wonderful view of Kim's naked body. She took in a deep breath and said "Thanks." She licked my clit as her fingers played with my lips. I put my hand on her ass and started stroking the cheeks. I felt Kim's finger sliding down my slit, but she didn't stick it inside. Instead she kept going down and I when she went past my vagina I wondered what she was doing.

She started poking it around and I gasped when she found my rosebud. Her finger started pressing on it and I realized what she meant to do. My rational side spoke up. "Um, what are you doing?"

"You've never played with that?"

"No," I said.

"Well," she said, "if you're not comfortable with it I can stop."

I got stuck again. The thought of it intrigued me, but something about it seemed wrong as well. Kim wasn't looking at my face, but I'm sure the prolonged silence was a giveaway.

"Can't decide again?" she asked with a slight impatience in her voice.

"I want to but I don't."

"Tell you what, why not try it and if you decide you don't like it then you know not to do it again."

Now why didn't I think of that? "Uh, yeah, that sounds cool."

"And while you're at it," Kim moved her body so it was over mine in a sixty-nine position. "Give yourself something to do. Maybe that'll keep your mind off of itself."

I smiled. One thing I did have experience with, thanks to my roommate, was a sixty-nine. I loved the idea of giving and receiving at the same time. My arms went under her legs and over her back so my hands were on her ass. I stuck out my tongue and started licking. The thing I like to do most in a sixty-nine is mimic my partner's actions, so when Kim licked top to bottom, sucked on my lips or targeted my clit, I did the same to her. Her finger pressed on my asshole, which is the one thing I didn't want to do to her yet. She would push a little, stop, push some more, stop again, slowly stretching the area until she had half her finger in there.

Soon we were both sucking on each other's clits. I thought it would be cool if we were to cum at the same time, but Kim's finger worked more into my asshole and suddenly I felt a wave of pleasure erupt from that area. All of a sudden I couldn't help myself and I was cumming. My mouth came away from her pussy with a yell and my legs stretched out into the air. After that I remember making some kind of satisfied sound and Kim asked, "Can I take that as a sign you liked it?"

I was still trying to catch my breath. "I'd say so."

My hands kept playing with Kim's pussy, keeping her aroused while I recovered. Finally I put my tongue back in action and targeted her clit. Kim's body started moving wildly as she grunted every breath. "Uh, yeah! Oh God! Uh! Goddammit! Whore! Fuck!" Somehow I imagined everyone in Kim's hometown could tell me the date and time of Kim's first sexual experience.

She came and dropped on top of my body. We lay like that for a while, with our head at each other's feet, until Kim worked up the energy to turn around and pull the covers back up. We got cozy and laid there for a while in each other's arms. All of a sudden I said, "Thanks."

"For what?" she asked.

Honestly I wasn't quite sure myself. I thought about it for a moment while she stroked my hair. "I don't know. I just feel so comfortable around you.

Like I don't have to be on guard all the time."

Kim smiled and her eyes narrowed. "Why do you have to be on guard all the time?"

I shrugged. It wasn't really something I wanted to get into at that point, and she took the hint and let it go. We kissed and cuddled for about half an hour more, until Kim mentioned that she was hungry. My stomach was growling too, so we got up and went to my kitchen.

"Crap," I said when I opened the fridge. "We don't have much here."

"The hell you don't, you've got whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Do you have ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Sundaes for breakfast."

While we made our special meal Kim asked how my face was doing. I had forgotten about the incident with her foot. I hammed it up and told her I'd know after I saw a doctor. Then I really gave it to her when I said a proper hug would have really helped.

"Well I couldn't get out of the scarf thanks to that crazy Girl Scout knot you tied," she said as she started laughing. "What did you learn that one for?"

"Dominatrix Badge," I said, and we both cracked up. It was the kind of good feeling you get when you find someone you really click with.

We took our sweet treats to the living room. Kim's top was still on the coffee table and there was a note on top of it, obviously from my roommate, saying "I know I've seen this top on someone in the past 24 hours, but I can't quite remember who it was. I'm sure you'll be able to remind me later." My roommate was from California, and sometimes her sense of humor escaped me. She was also a gossip hound and the note made it clear she wanted details. Kim had brought the whipped cream can out to the living room and every few bites she refreshed the supply in her dish.

"You can never have enough whipped cream," she said, anticipating my wisecrack.

"I don't remember that one in nutrition class."

"They teach you nutrition in Kentucky?" she said with a smile.

"Yeah, and they also taught us manners, like never call a lady a whore."

A surprised look crossed her face. "Are you implying I did that?" I nodded and she asked, "When?"

"In bed."

"Oh. I didn't necessarily call you a whore." Kim noticed all my whipped cream was gone and shot some into my bowl.

"Well I didn't see anyone else in the room, so unless you were directing that comment at yourself, I think you called me a whore."

"Well I'm sorry."

I nodded and said, "Okay." We sat there for a moment in silence, eating ice cream. Then, without looking at her, I quietly said, "Bitch."

"Slut."

"Douche bag."

"Cunt."

My eyebrows raised on that one. "Getting a little rough there, aren't we?"

"What, poor little country girl can't take a harsh word?"

"I just think it's a little offensive."

"No, it's very offensive, which is why I used it."

I shrugged my shoulders, said "Fine," and we went back to eating ice cream. Suddenly she said, "Shit head."

"Wench."

"Doofus."

"Tampon breath." With that one we both burst out in laughter.

CHAPTER 12: FUCK HAPPY ENDINGS

That laughter was still ringing in my head when I walked through the doorway of the bathroom in Rio.

Kim was sitting naked in the tub. There was no water in it. She was alive.

Her forehead was leaning against her knees and she was sobbing quietly, unaware that I was standing there watching her. I could feel the smile grow across my face as a happiness spread throughout my body. It was different from the joy I had with writing. More like extreme relief. I reached over and turned off the CD player. Kim looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face was a mix of surprise, anger and disgust.

"Hey whore," I said.

"Fuck off you fucking bitch!" she screamed.

There was so much hurt in her face. I'd never seen Kim that vulnerable before. It was like seeing some celebrity without makeup for the first time. There are plenty of words you could use to describe Kim, but one thing she has never been is weak. Yet here she was, looking like you could knock her over with a feather. And that was my fault. I felt like crying. Actually I think I needed to cry, but I knew one of us had to hold it together for this conversation. Finding her alive was only half the battle, now I had to win her back.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said. Taking a deep breath, I continued, "I was wrong, about a lot of things. I will say in my defense that I wasn't working off all the information. But I still made a lot of mistakes on my own. I took this long, stupid, complicated road when I should have just talked to you. Been more open with you." I choked on that last part, and almost lost it completely. But I held it back, took another deep breath and gritted my teeth. "I'm just hoping that you can forgive me for my mistakes and give me another chance. Even though I probably don't deserve it."

"You don't deserve it! Now fuck off!"

I bit my lip. Most people might have taken that as the final word and walked away. But I reminded myself that this was Kim I was dealing with, and the fact that she yelled something as opposed to taking the soap dish and throwing it at me was a good sign. I tried to muster up enough courage to say what I needed to. "You remember the morning after we first met, and you asked why I felt like I had to be on guard all the time? I used to think it was because I was afraid of letting go, of my naughty side taking control and doing all these things I was afraid to do. But now I understand what I was really on guard about. I was afraid of how people who knew me were going to react when they saw that side of me. I feel like everybody sees Carol Hitchcock as this nerdy bookworm who is the essence of normal. And I was so worried that if I let loose I'd lose everything and never be able to get myself back." I took a deep breath and continued, "But with you it was different. That first night you saw so many things about me that no one had ever seen before and you didn't judge me. Hell, you encouraged me."

Kim looked at me. There was still anger in her face. "Go away!" she yelled, and then she put her head back down on her knees. This wasn't working. My chest started to feel tight. I couldn't have gone through all this just to still lose her. My mind raced, trying to think of something else to say, something to convince her I truly understood that I'd made a mistake. I kept drawing a blank. My breathing came in short, heavy gasps. The longer it took me to think of something the more tension I felt in the room, and it was almost as if the physical distance between us was growing.

But then I stopped myself. I closed my eyes and forced my mind to remain calm. I slowed down my breathing and pushed my thoughts back to how I felt earlier when I wrote. I kept myself in that state until something came to me, something the tattoo guy had said to me earlier that day. I opened my eyes and spoke.

"Kim, when we started dating I felt so comfortable with you, and that made me feel comfortable with myself. But I didn't really understand why that was. Normally I'd have put more thought into it, analyzed it." That got a snort from Kim. She always complained that I complicated things with thought. "But I didn't, because for once in my life I was just going with the flow. And it felt good. So good that I didn't pay attention to anything else, and that's when I got into trouble. All of a sudden I lost that feeling you gave me. I blamed you for it."

I took a deep breath, walked over to the tub and kneeled down beside it. She didn't resist as I reached out, cupping her chin and turning her face towards me. Her eyes wouldn't look directly at me. "But I got that feeling back, and I did it on my own this time. And doing that made me realize how important you are to me. Not just for who you are, but how you bring out something in me that I didn't realize I was missing in my life- happiness."

There was a long silence. Finally Kim looked up and her eyes met mine. "I thought I was the worst thing that ever happened to you."

"That was until I met the worst thing that ever happened to you," I said.

Kim was about to say something when the look on her face changed. "What the hell happened to your head?"

I reached up and touched it and flinched from the pain. A bruise must have been forming. "The cavalry came to its senses and realized it needed to come rescue you."

"From who?"

"From yourself."

Kim showed some teeth, but I wasn't sure it was a smile until I heard her chuckle a little bit. "I hate to tell you it was for nothing," she said, then sniffed and wiped her nose with her hand. "All my talk about being over the top and I couldn't even work up the guts to turn on the water."

An hour later we were sitting in the kitchen, and I had a bag of ice on my forehead. Kim looked a lot better now, more in control - her old self. The smile on her face was the same sweet smile that made me feel so comfortable when I first met her. "I just want to say," she started, "that little speech you gave in the bathroom was the sappiest piece of shit I've ever heard. It's like you were channeling Meg Ryan or something."

We laughed an infectious laugh that went on for a while. As it died down my mind tripped over a thought I'd had earlier, when Mrs. Ross first mentioned the divorce. I hated to bring the conversation to serious matters, but I had to know. "Your parents were never coming on this trip, were they?"

Kim smile faded slowly. Her eyes looked at the floor. "They gave me this trip to, quote, soothe my nerves about the divorce, unquote. My little consolation prize."

"And so you lied to me about this trip? Why didn't you ever tell me about how fucked up they are?"

Kim sighed. "You had enough problems, I didn't want to lay all of mine on you. I figured you'd think I was too much trouble and leave me."

"But Jesus Kim, you've got the mom from hell! And I'm guessing you're dad's not so great either. You could have at least told me that, I would have been a lot more understanding before now."

"I didn't want to expose you to them. My parents have managed to fuck up every inch of my life, and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I figured the further away I kept you from them the better."

She was probably right, considering the offer I'd just gotten from her mom. But I wasn't thinking about that right then, since I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I stared at her. "What?" she asked.

"I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

She shook her head. "You are such a fucking sap, you know that?"

I took her hand in mine. "I'm so sorry," I said, and then took a deep breath because I had plenty to apologize for. "The way I've been treating you, starting that argument, sleeping with someone who robbed you." I swallowed. "For what you read in my notebook."

Kim snickered, "Anything else?"

I grinned. "I'm not sorry about getting a tattoo without you, because I don't even remember doing that."

She laughed, and for the first time in a long time I felt the tension between us easing up. When she finished, Kim turned serious and said, "You know what I kept thinking when I was reading your notebook?" I shook my head and Kim continued, "That it's your own damn fault Carol. You complained to me about not having enough time for school stuff, but I figured that was the scared side of you making up excuses. If you sat me down and had a serious talk I would have listened, and I would have taken you seriously."

I sighed. She was right. I'd assumed how she would react and it bit me in the ass, big time.

"You need to learn to speak up more," Kim said, "especially with me. Be more open and shit. Tell me what's on your mind, what problems you're having."

I arched my eyebrow. "So do you," I said. That reminded me of something. "Speaking of which, your mom said something about you having influence over where the money goes in the divorce. What was that about?"

Kim frowned and sat there for a moment. I felt tension from her again and realized I probably shouldn't have brought it up. Her eyes were looking at the floor when she said "I was like, sixteen when my mom came home drunk one night. She and my dad had been at some party and she was pissed off because of some woman that was there. She thought my dad was cheating on her. Anyway, she comes to my room and starts talking up a storm. I didn't know if she was trying to bond with me or what, but she..." Kim stuck her tongue in her cheek and let out a soft sigh. I realized this wasn't easy for her, so I squeezed her hand to let her know I was there for her.

Kim continued, "She told me this had happened before, when she and dad were in college and they were just dating, she found out he was cheating on her. She wanted to get back at him, but she wanted to keep him too, so she...she..." Kim swallowed hard and looked right at me. "She stopped taking the Pill."

It took a moment for me to process what that meant. Then it took a moment for my jaw to work its way back up to the rest of my mouth. "Holy shit," was all I could say.

There were tears in Kim's eyes, but she shrugged and smiled. "Yeah," she said. "I went from being 'The Great Mistake' to 'The Vicious Revenge'."

"So your father doesn't know?"

She shook her head. "Mom's afraid I'll tell him and his lawyers will tear her a new one in court."

No wonder Mrs. Ross was willing to take a chance on trying to bribe me. I sighed. "Well, that confirms it," I said. "I'm the worst judge of character in the world."

Kim smiled. "Don't worry about it. She puts up an awesome front."

We sat there for a moment in silence. Then I leaned over and kissed Kim on the lips, pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I love you," I said, "and I really mean it this time. I know that doesn't exactly sound like a happy ending line, but it's what I really feel."

She reached out and stroked my cheek. "Fuck happy endings. This is good enough for me."

"That mean you can forgive me for being so stupid?" I asked.

"I think stupidity runs in our relationship," she said. We went upstairs and fell asleep on the bed.

CHAPTER 13: FROM HERE ON

When I woke up the sun was just setting. Kim was still sleeping, and while I watched her a memory flooded back into my head, causing a smile to grow on my face. We had fallen asleep with me spooning behind her, so I slipped out and laid Kim on her back. I spread her legs, lay down between them and used my fingers to spread her flower. With long, slow licks I worked on her pussy, going from bottom to top. She made some noises and moved a little, then she gasped and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey there," she said.

I kissed her clit hood and said, "Sorry, I got hungry."

She smiled. "Don't apologize, I'm always on the menu."

"Remember when you taught me this?"

Kim's brow furrowed for a moment, but then it relaxed and she smiled. "Oh yeah," she said. Her whole face took on this happy glow.

"Now that I've got you all worked up, I'm going to torture you by starting at the beginning."

"Rotten bitch," she said.

I moved down to the end of the bed and started with Kim's toes, running my tongue in-between them, sucking each one into my mouth. I licked the bottom of her foot, using my tongue to tease her ticklish spots. Then I softly kissed the top of her arch, making my way slowly to her ankle. Once there I sucked on both sides of her anklebone, then used my tongue to trace around each one. Kim moaned, so I kept it up for a while until I started to move up her legs, running my tongue up the inside of each where she is most sensitive.

I skipped over her pelvic area and licked a line from her lower stomach, over her bellybutton, between her breasts and up her chin until I dipped my tongue into her mouth. I kept the kiss short and traced the edge of her jaw with my tongue.

Her breasts were calling to me, so I licked her left areole first, using my tongue to lather the area with my saliva. Then I sucked it all up, along with her nipple as well. Kim rewarded my efforts with a soft moan. I felt her hands reach for my breasts, squeezing the globes at first, and then pinching the nipples. I kept up my sucking, occasionally flicking the tip of her nipple with my tongue. I gave the same treatment to the other nipple and finally proceeded to move between my lover's legs. My left hand spread open her folds and I slowly licked over the whole area, which made Kim spread her legs so wide that my left hand was suddenly free of it's duty. I brought my mouth down onto her pussy and let my tongue play around as my hands reached up for her breasts. My tongue licked her treasure as my hands softly squeezed her globes, but when I found her hole I stuck my tongue in and pinched her nipples simultaneously. This time my reward was a sharp cry of ecstasy. I tongue fucked her for a while, then moved up to her clit and sucked on it while my hands pinched her nipples.

I continued my dual assault as I felt Kim's body begin to shudder, her body jerking until she let out a high pitched moan and I felt her come. Then I crawled up to her face and kissed her. We shared her taste for a minute before Kim broke the kiss.

"Still hungry?" Kim asked.

"Actually, I am. Turn over." Kim gave a questioning look, but I just smiled and she complied. I decided to teach her the little something new I'd learned from Maria, just like she'd taught me something new the first time she woke me up with sex. I licked her ass cheeks all over and then gave a slow lick up her crack without spreading her cheeks. That caused Kim to let out a sharp breath. I used my hands to spread her cheeks and gave another lick, this time right in her valley. She moaned that time, so I did it again and got the same response. I looked at her rosebud for a moment before I did anything more. I wasn't sure I'd like giving as well as receiving, but I wanted to try. I stuck out my tongue and started licking it. A slightly sour taste, but it wasn't anything horrible. And for the reaction I got from Kim it was well worth it. She said, "Oh my God, Carol, oh my God." For all the times she caught me off guard it was great to finally surprise her for once.

Kim cooed as I kept licking. I was getting off on it myself, mostly for the fact that most people frown on what I was doing. My naughty side whispered something in my ear and I went with it. I stiffened my tongue and started to poke at Kim's rosebud. She began to give out sharp little cries each time I made contact with her puckered hole. Suddenly I felt it give a little and the tip of my tongue slipped inside, and that's when Kim yelled. The truck driver in her came out again and she spewed obscenities between gasps. I tried pushing in a little more but it wouldn't go, so I came back out and resumed licking.

"This is so fucking good," she said. I tried sticking my tongue in there again, but I didn't get any farther than the first time. Still, Kim went wild again and I knew it was something we'd be working on over time. Finally I gave her rosebud a little kiss like Maria did with mine and I crawled up onto Kim's back.

"Like that?" I asked.

"Not as much as having a girlfriend who would think to try it," she said. "You're a bad, bad girl."

I laughed as I slid off to her side. Our arms pulled each other into a tight hug. I kissed Kim's shoulder and held her tighter, feeling a spreading sense of warmth and security in her embrace. I suddenly realized I now knew what being in love felt like. No longer would I ever say the word without understanding the feelings that are behind it. I smiled at the thought of my new knowledge.

We lay in each other's arms for a while, relaxing, telling jokes and calling each other names. Soon we were kissing and then she told me to lie on my back as she began kissing the side of my neck. I held her head there as long as possible because she knows this drives me wild and I know she never spends enough time doing it. Finally I let her move on, she used her tongue along my shoulders and chest until she got to my breasts. Kim always started the place I like the most, the sensitive skin under my breasts. Her tongue traced along the undersides slowly until I begged her to touch my aching nipples. She pinched them with her fingers at first, teasing them until she let her tongue lick the globes from the outer edge inward. Finally Kim's lips encircled my right nipple and she sucked it hard, making me moan like crazy.

After treating the other breast in the same slow, deliberate manner, Kim moved down to my belly button and gave it a rim job, teasing me with thoughts of what was to come. Next, she moved down and picked up my right foot and opened her mouth wide so she could put all of my toes in her mouth at once. She sucked on them and then licked them with her tongue. Kim repeated the process on my left foot, then put my feet together and pushed my legs up and over until I was bent in half (gymnastics was my thing in high school). I held my legs in front of my face while Kim buried her face in my pussy.

"Ohhhhhh, uhhhhhh, you uhhhhhhh, cuntlicker, uhhhh." She laughed at my use of foul language.

Just when I was getting good and riled up Kim took a break to lick the globes of my ass. When she started sucking a finger I made a little bet with myself which hole it was going into. Kim's hand went down and I felt pressure on my asshole, winning me a long, hot bubble bath with my favorite vibrator. The finger slowly worked its way in as I felt my sphincter open up.

"Ohhhhhh yeah," I moaned. Kim started pumping in and out as her mouth went to work again and found my clit. She sucked on it hard and I was saying her name as I came. I let my legs go and turned on my side as Kim spooned her body behind mine. I was still breathing heavy when she hugged me and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes.

The next day Kim and I went to the beach. Walking along, hand in hand, I asked her a question that had been gnawing at me. "Did you have any idea I was planning on breaking up with you?"

"No. Why would I?"

"I was just thinking about when we met. That first night I thought you were psychic, it seemed like you could read me so well."

Kim gave a chuckle. "Yeah but that's just when you're having that struggle between being good or bad. It's all over your face. I can't tell when you're having a real problem with something. That you need to tell me yourself."

"Great, now I'm taking advice from a girl whose family belongs on Jerry Springer." That made her laugh, and I laughed with her.

When we got back to school Kim and I found an apartment together. It marked the start of some big changes for the both of us. Kim has promised not to push hard about going out, and so far she's been good. I've also promised to pull my head out from the books once in a while and go with her. The one thing that has surprised me the most is that she's not going out all the time anymore. Ever since we moved in together she's been staying home with me more often and every once in a while she even cracks open a book. I think I'm having a good effect on her.

In the spirit of our new openness with each other, Kim and I discussed what to do about the problem with her mom. We came to the conclusion that she wouldn't tell her dad the truth, but that made for some leverage against her mom to keep out of Kim's life. While the divorce would be finalized at some point, she said her dad would probably sue her mom if he ever found out, so that gave Kim leverage for life.

Up on the wall of our bedroom is the picture from Rio, the one of Kim and I in the outdoor bar- two topless, drunken fools grinning like idiots and holding up our drinks in a toast. We didn't just put it up to appease my exhibitionism, but to help us remember to always communicate with each other. The picture reminds us because of its great irony- there we are looking like we're having the best time of our lives, when both of us were really dying inside. Now that we know true happiness we know what it took to get here. Like Kim said, fuck happy endings, I'm learning real life takes a lot of work all the time.

So what did I learn this summer? Topless beaches are great. Be open and communicate with those you love. Don't pick up strange women in bars without expecting to be drugged and robbed. Never run up the stairs, even when you're on a rescue mission. Group sex can be a great learning experience. The right clothes get you attention but its hell on the buttons when someone's tearing them off of you. Oh, and no one is as nice as they sound on the phone.

The End.