I Once Was Lost

I ONCE WAS LOST CHAPTER 14 BY THE CAROLINA SCRIBBLER

EDITED BY: GREYBEAR

THE USUAL DISCLAIMERS APPLY HERE. IF YOU AREN'T OF LEGAL AGE (18 IN MOST AREAS) THEN PLEASE LEAVE. THIS STORY IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE ENCOUNTER IN LIFE AND THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT DEVELOP BETWEEN FRIENDS, FAMILIES AND LOVERS. IT MAY ALSO CONTAIN DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX BETWEEN MALES. IF THAT BOTHERS YOU THEN PLEASE LEAVE. ALL TRADEMARKS AND COPYRIGHTS ARE PROPERTY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNER(S). FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS APPRECIATED AND ENCOURAGED. FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE STORY.

(RECAP)

Michael's View

Their uncle, Bert, offered me a job at one of his stores as soon as I was healed up. I'm pretty pumped about that. I'll be earning my own money, that'll be cool. He offered jobs to some of my friends too but I think Wes and Brian already have jobs for the summer. Maybe Chance and I can work together. He's been my best friend since 1st grade and he was the very first person I came out too. I had hoped he would be cool with it and he was. As far as I know, Chance is straight but he doesn't date that much. There have been times when I thought I noticed him checking out guys but I never said anything to him about it. Maybe I should. He seems cool with me being gay, maybe he is too or maybe he's not sure. I'll have to find a way to really talk to him about that.

Yep, a lot has changed the last few weeks but things are looking good. This is going to be a great summer.

(THE STORY CONTINUES)

(JESSE'S VIEW)

After my first day at work, I wasn't sure about working for my uncle. I mean, he was a great guy and all but I didn't want to just haul trash or talk to the construction team all day. As my uncle pointed out, after we had talked about it that was only part of the "whole picture". He simply wanted me to get a taste of what running a business was really like, not just ringing up sales or pricing the merchandise. On my second day, I met him at store no. 3, near the Pavilion, to begin my training in earnest.

I left home a little bit early in case I ran into heavy traffic on Hwy.17, which was inevitable with all the road construction going on. It wasn't that bad and I even stopped by the Scotchman's store for some smokes and a soft drink. Corey was behind the counter, as I expected, and we chatted while he rang up my merchandise. He seemed like a decent guy, definitely laid back but decent. I paid and then headed into town. I parked in a private lot a block back from the boulevard, where Bert said to and I walked around the block to get to the store, which was right on the strip.

One thing about Myrtle Beach is that ever since I was a kid, being on the strip excited me. There was something about the place that gave my stomach butterflies. It wasn't fear, it was the anticipation, the excitement, the sites and sounds and the smells too. Nighttime, with everything all lit up, the strip was a special place, one which held some great memories for me. Now, here I was, at nineteen, working where all the action was. Those butterflies formed in my stomach again and I chuckled to myself.

"Hi, good morning," a young woman of around 25 or so said as I walked into the store.

"Good morning. I'm Jesse Mayhew, here to see Bert Mayhew."

The young woman raised her eyebrows slightly. "Ah, yes. Bert said you'd be coming in this morning. It's great to have you here. I'm Marta."

We shook hands and she led me back to the office.

"So, you're Bert's nephew, huh?" she asked. Her smile was radiant.

"Yes ma'am."

I couldn't believe I called her ma'am. My face grew red the very instant I said that.

"Ma'am?" she said, once she had stopped laughing, "Jesse, I hate to spring this on you, but, I'm only 26. I'm not quite ready to be called ma'am just yet."

"Yeah," I stated rather embarrassedly.

She chuckled again, then, she flung an arm around my neck.

"C'mon sweetie," she stated as she half-dragged me through the store, back to the office.

"Hey, Uncle Bert, Scott," I said as Marta and I stumbled into the office.

They both looked up and smiled.

"Good morning Jesse, I see Marta found you," my uncle said.

I nodded my head.

"Are you sure this guy is your nephew? I mean, he just walked in and said he was but I'm not sure," Marta teased.

"I'm not so sure either," Uncle Bert said, looking me over, "He looks like my nephew--yeah, I think it's him."

Scott laughed, stood and lightly punched my shoulder. I winced slightly.

"Oh yeah, it's Jesse," he stated.

I punched him back, lightly, and he laughed as he place his hand around my shoulders. Bert and Marta joined in the laughter too.

"Boys, Marta is the store manager and she'll be in charge of your training. As soon as we complete the paperwork, here, you'll get started," my uncle stated in his best "business" voice.

Marta stepped out as Scott and I filled out a stack of paperwork. When we were almost done, I glanced up at the clock on the wall and realized we'd been in there almost 30 minutes.

"Uncle Bert, what's this one? It looks a little different than the others," I inquired.

Bert leaned over. "That one is for your health and life insurance," he replied.

"Health insurance I understand but I hate thinking about life insurance," I said soberly.

"Yeah, me too," Scott interjected, "Somebody gets that only when you die."

"I know it isn't something people like to discuss but it's very important. Right now, you guys don't have any real debts but someday, you're going to have car payments, mortgage payments and families. You don't want your families worrying about your debts when you're gone, do you?"

"I see. I still don't like talking about death though," I said. I read over the form.

"Who is my beneficiary?" Scott asked.

"That would be your mother and me since you are a minor."

"What about my beneficiary, Uncle Bert? Who should I put down?"

"That decision is totally up to you, Jesse. You're over 18 now and in the eyes of the law, you are considered an adult. You can choose anyone you want."

I thought briefly about that. Choosing a beneficiary was serious, I mean, it needed to be someone responsible and familiar with your situation.

"Could I choose Will as my beneficiary?"

"You sure can." My uncle gave a reassuring smile.

We finished with the paperwork and Uncle Bert called Marta back to the office. He told her that we were ready. She asked us to follow her up front.

She first introduced us to the rest of the staff and then she paired us off, one with her and one with Allen, the store's assistant manager. As it turned out, Scott was with Marta and I know that boy was in heaven. Marta was a beautiful woman and with her deep, rich tan and dark hair and eyes, she had an exotic look. When she walked, it was very fluid. She almost seemed to glide across the floor. My trainer, Allen, was no slouch, either, about six feet tall, light brown hair, killer smile and he filled out his tee shirt quite nicely.

He started by acquainting me with the merchandise and how the stock was stored in the back and then we moved on to pricing. Time passed quickly and Allen had me observe him as he waited on customers. He explained that, basically, I was to "shadow" him, watching what he did and not really taking the lead. Pretty soon, it was lunchtime and Allen invited me lunch. We were heading back to the office to sign out and we ran into Scott who was going to lunch too. Uncle Bert had left earlier on an errand run.

"We're going to the pizza place right across the street," Allen said, "Why don't you come with us, man?"

Scott said sure and we left.

"Shit, it's hot out here," Allen exclaimed once we hit the sidewalk.

"Very," Scott agreed.

We walked up to the corner and waited with a crowd of people, mostly teenagers, for the light to change. Allen took off his shirt. He was ripped! Several girls and a couple of guys looked. Even Scott did a double-take, which caused me to chuckle. Lucky for me, I was standing behind them.

"What?" Scott said as he and Allen both turned.

"Nothing dude," I responded. I put my hand over my mouth and pretended to rub my upper lip with my knuckle. Scott grinned and shook his head as Allen was left totally in the dark. Or was he?

As we headed down the sidewalk, I decided it was just too damn hot and I took my shirt off just as Allen had. Scott noticed and did the same.

"Guys, we're at the beach and this is our lunch break, might as well catch some rays while we eat," Allen stated.

"I need to work on my tan, but right now, I'm starved," Scott said. Allen and I both laughed as we made our way up to the counter to place our orders.

We ordered, paid and received our food quickly. We found a table right on the boardwalk and proceeded to chow down when I noticed two guys, out of the corner of my eye, walking up. The older of the two, about 30 years old, had a beer belly and several days growth of beard. He wore dirty blue jeans and a grease-stained tee shirt. The younger guy looked to be in his mid twenties and was dressed similarly. He had an uneven, misspelled tattoo on his left bicep, it read, `HEL RAiSER'.

"Because of you, Jimmy is in jail, faggot," the older guy said. He was staring directly at Allen.

Allen, who hadn't seen the pair walk up, glanced up and immediately, his face turned ashen.

"Damn, boy, you done look like you seen a ghost," said the younger guy with a smirk.

I could see Allen tense up, his hand making a fist. I grew uneasy but was ready to do whatever I had to do to help Allen if these goons were going to start trouble. I could see Scott readying himself as well. They were bigger but there were three of us and they'd have a hell of a fight on their hands if that was what they wanted.

"Joe, we've been through all this before. You know what happened. It all came out at the trial. I'm sorry that Jimmy Lee is in jail but he deserved what he got," Allen said.

The older guy, Joe, made a move towards Allen and the younger guy held him back.

"Damn you faggot, you just watch what you say. You hear me, boy? You put my brother in jail and I ain't never gonna forget it. Bobby won't either, will you?"

"Nope-I ain't never gonna forget what this little queer done," Bobby said as he glared at Allen, "You watch yourself, you just watch yourself, boy."

By this time, people were starting to stare. The brothers saw it.

Joe leaned down and said in a hushed tone, "You watch yourself. We got eyes on you, boy. We know where you live, where you work and where you go. Just watch yourself."

Allen stood up and faced Joe, almost nose to nose.

"You don't scare me, Joe, you either, Bobby. You used to but not anymore. If you want a fight, let's get it on, otherwise, leave," Allen said as he clinched his jaw. Scott and I stood too.

Joe looked hard, first at me and then at Scott. His gaze shifted again and with a sneer, said to Allen, "Not today, boy. Your time is coming though. Let's go Bobby."

The brothers started to move and Bobby bumped hard into Allen.

"Just remember what we said, faggot."

We watched until the brothers were out of sight and then we sat back down to finish lunch. An older woman walked over and placed a hand on Allen's shoulder.

"Son, that was awfully brave, what you and your friends just did. I don't know those two, the ones who just left, but I know the type. They've probably bullied people their whole lives and gotten away with it too. Most bullies will back down when confronted but those two seem dangerous. Please be careful," she said with a grandmotherly smile.

"Thank you, for your concern, ma'am. I appreciate it," Allen replied, smiling back at the woman.

She stood, nodded at the three of us and then returned to her table, rejoining two little boys whom I figured to be her grandsons.

I wasn't very hungry after our confrontation with the `goon squad'. Apparently Scott and Allen felt the way I did because we all trashed most of our lunches.

"Those idiots really piss me off," Scott stated.

"Me too, damn rednecks," I added.

Allen chuckled and that, thankfully, lightened the mood. It had been pretty tense up to that point.

"Guys, I guess I should tell you what that was all about," Allen began, "That was Joe and Bobby Atwood, two of the meanest characters in Horry County. It really surprised me to see them here, in Myrtle Beach. I mean, right here on the boardwalk, damn! A few years ago, they were harassing a good friend of mine...actually it was my boyfriend, Darren. In case you haven't figured it out, yeah, I'm gay and I'm proud of who I am. I don't flaunt it before the world but I won't deny it if somebody asks, you know? Anyway, Darren wasn't out at the time and he worked with Joe and Bobby's younger brother, Jimmy Lee. He's a nasty individual with a temper like Joe's and a build that's a little bigger than Bobby's.

The harassment went on for weeks before Darren ever said anything to me and when he did, I persuaded him to speak to his boss. He flat out refused at first because that meant he'd have to out himself but finally he decided it was for the best and spoke to his supervisor. As it turned out, Jimmy Lee had a history of bullying, intimidating and harassing other employees. Nobody had ever mentioned it to management though. Once Darren spoke out, others came forward to and the company suspended Jimmy Lee for two weeks and required him to attend a diversity training class. He refused, so, they fired him. Things got worse. The harassment at work ended but things started to happen at home like, finding dead chickens in our yard and on our front porch, to death threats against Darren. We went to the sheriff's department and an investigation ensued. The threats continued but nothing could be pinned directly on Jimmy Lee until one night when Darren was attacked coming out of a convenience store. Two guys grabbed him dragged him behind the store. They beat him up pretty bad. He almost died."

Allen paused and to clear his throat.

"Darren was in a coma for several days and there were no solid leads. I knew that Jimmy Lee was involved somehow, so did the detectives involved. They got a tip when someone came forward and named Jimmy Lee as one of the guys who assaulted Darren. Also, the day that Darren came out of his coma, he wrote on a pad that he had recognized Jimmy Lee's voice when the two guys jumped him. The detectives arrested Jimmy Lee and another guy, Ralph Kincaid. Well, Ralph sang like a canary, so I'm told, and the district attorney's office offered him a deal to testify against Jimmy Lee. He took it and named Jimmy Lee as the mastermind behind the plot against Darren. Jimmy Lee fought and cussed everyday in court for almost a week but one day he suddenly broke down and confessed everything. He changed his plea and was sentenced. He's going to be in prison for a long time."

"I had no idea, Allen," I said, "So that's why those two are still pissed. They blame you and Darren for what happened to their brother."

"Yeah, unfortunately they can't see that what Jimmy Lee did was wrong."

"That's so messed up. I mean, why can't they just leave people alone? Live and let live, you know," Scott stated.

Allen shook his head. "I don't know, Scott. I don't know if I'll ever understand people like that."

We finished our Cokes decided to head back to the store, stopping long enough for Scott to use the restroom. Allen and I each lit a smoke as we stood outside and watched the sea of teenagers walking past. Finally, Scott appeared and we slowly made our way back up to the crosswalk. A group of very talkative high school girls walked up and stood near us as we waited on the light to change.

"Hi," Scott said to one of the girls.

"Hi," she replied in a soft voice. She blushed a little bit too.

The light changed and as we made our way across the street and down the sidewalk. Scott and the girl were still talking when we reached the store.

"Well, I guess I have to get back to work," Scott stated in a ho-hum kind of tone.

Allen and I both noticed it and we turned away to hide our grins.

"Scott, we're gonna head inside. See you in a bit?" Allen said.

"Oh sure, yeah," my cousin replied.

I stepped into the store with Allen right on my heels. Once we were out of earshot he asked, "So, do you think he'll get lucky?"

I placed an arm around Allen's shoulders. "Bro, you just don't understand. You see, Scott is working the Mayhew mojo and the Mayhew mojo is a most powerful force, indeed," I said with a straight face.

Allen nearly busted a gut from laughing so hard.

"Damn!" He glanced back out at Scott and then at me, shaking his head. He walked away, still chuckling.

I got back to work. Just before quitting time which, for me, was 6 pm, a young couple came in. They spoke to Marta and she motioned for me to join her and the couple. Allen was putting up stock in the back.

"Jesse, this is Daphne and James McAllister, they work here. Guys, this is Jesse Mayhew," she said.

"Mayhew huh? You related to that new owner," James asked dryly.

"Yeah, Bert Mayhew is my uncle," I replied. I extended my hand but he made a face and walked away.

"Hi, Jesse," Daphne said quickly as she extended her hand, "It's nice to meet you." Her cheeks turned a bright pink.

I shook her hand.

Marta spoke up quickly, no doubt trying to lighten the mood, which had suddenly darkened with James' demeanor, "So-Jesse, I guess it's about time you took off."

I quickly glanced at the clock. "Yeah, I guess it is. Daphne, I hope we can work together soon." I said the last part hoping that it'd piss James off. I didn't like his attitude. Daphne flashed a big smile and then she joined James, putting out some stock. I told everyone goodbye as I went to the back to sign out. My uncle and Scott were in there with Allen, talking. I hadn't seen Uncle Bert come back in.

"They were jerks, Dad, but you should have seen Allen. He stood right up to them," Scott said.

Bert was sitting at the desk and glanced up at Allen, whose face, momentarily turned red.

"I guess it was quite a scene, sorry about that, Bert," he stated.

"Hell, Allen, you did the right thing. You didn't provoke those guys but you didn't let them push you around either. If you see them hanging around, don't hesitate to call the police and I mean that. Stay safe."

"Yeah Allen, we got your back," Scott added.

Allen chuckled. "Thanks Scott, I appreciate that."

Scott grinned and put his arm around Allen's shoulder.

"Yep, I got to watch out for my boss. He makes out the schedule ya know and he can mark me off every Friday and Saturday night if he wants too."

We were laughing hard at Scott's comments when Marta walked in.

"Hey guys, did I miss a joke?"

"Scott here was just sucking up to Allen," I said through my laughter.

"No, I wasn't Marta, honest. They've got it all wrong." Scott said in a desperate attempt to recover. Bert loved every second of it.

"Alright buster, you better explain yourself," she said as she placed a hand on her hip. She cocked her head to the side too for added effect.

Scott mentioned the whole deal about the schedule and then Allen piped up, "Scott, the thing is that Marta is the one who actually makes out the schedule. I just assist, that's what an Assistant Manager does."

Bert snickered quietly, as did the rest of us as Scott immediately dropped his arm from around Allen. He brushed off his shirt and "straightened" an imaginary tie.

"I see," he stated.

Scott stepped over to Marta and placed an arm around her shoulder, glanced at me, Allen and Bert, and with a wink, said, "Marta, have I told you what a great and wonderful boss you are."

Laughter erupted from the back room.

"Bert, can I keep him," Marta asked, "He's so good for my ego."

"Take him on home," Bert said with a wave of his hand.

The laughter continued but we had to break it up. I needed to get home.

Uncle Bert stopped me. "Jesse, could you give Scott a lift home? I'm going to stay and get some paperwork done."

"Sure. No problem, c'mon killer," I said looking at Scott. He grinned big and then we left.

As soon as we hit the pavement our shirts came off since it was so hot. On the way to the parking lot, I noticed several groups of girls checking us out, a group of guys did too.

"Did you see those guys, man? They were checking us out," Scott said excitedly once they had passed by.

"Yeah, I saw them. They were checking you out pretty good, stud," I said teasing my cousin.

He laughed. "Yeah, right, Jesse!"

"They could have been. You're a good looking guy, Scott, and you're no dummy either. You turn heads bro, both female and male."

Scott's face turned red and looked down as we walked.

"Jesse, you're joking, right," he asked in a half-serious tone.

"I'm not joking, man. You really are a good looking guy. Will and I have talked about it, too. You should consider modeling."

Scott was silent until we had gotten in the car and pulled out of the lot. I glanced over at him and watched as he was checking himself out in the side mirror. I started to razz him a little but didn't. We were about halfway to the campground when Scott asked if we grab a burger someplace. I said sure and quickly found a Mickey D's. We went through the drive-thru and then parked to eat.

"Modeling huh," Scott asked.

I nodded as I took a swig of Coke to wash down the mouthful of food I had.

"You really should check into it, Scott. I mean, you've got the look and you've got the build, why not? Just check into it, man. Something big may come out of it, you never know."

Scott glanced down at his food and then out the window while he fidgeted with his food.

"So, you gonna do it?"

"I just might, I don't know. I need to talk to Mom and Dad, though. You think they'd go for it?"

"I don't see why not."

"I'll mention it tonight. Thanks Jesse."

We finished our "snack" and I dropped Scott off at his parents' RV. My aunt had left a note saying she had gone to grocery store. I needed to get home anyway to see if Will or Charles would go with me to buy a mobile phone tonight.

As I turned into the driveway I noticed we had a yard full of kids, all guys, playing football. It looked like a game of "shirts" vs. "skins". I continued on around to the back and parked. Several cars were there.

"I think the whole neighborhood is here," I said to Charles as I stepped into the kitchen. He and Will were making dinner, or rather, getting ready to make dinner. I stepped over to the counter and rested my elbow on it while we talked.

"It's the new Myrtle Beach Football League. Haven't you heard of it?" Will stated matter-of-factly.

Charles grinned and shook his head as he glanced between me and then to Will.

"Nope, I'm afraid I haven't. Are we feeding all those guys?"

"Some but not all," Charles answered.

"How was work today?"

"It was a busy day," Charles replied.

"Cool-I think I'm going to grab a quick shower."

"Oh, can we watch," Will asked playfully.

"Me too! Me too!"

I looked up and Jennifer was standing there, about to burst into laughter.

"They've corrupted you too, I can't believe it." I picked her up in a bear hug and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

"They have, honey. I tried so hard to resist them but you know, their powers are so strong and mine are so weak."

After I spoke to Jennifer for a minute or two, I ran upstairs, showered and changed clothes.

"Hey there sexy," Will said as I reentered the kitchen. My shirt was draped over my shoulder and I was brushing the water out of my still-damp hair, with my hands.

I leaned over and gave him a full tongue-in-the-mouth kiss. It sort of took him by surprise.

"Um-Jesse?" Will motioned with his eyes for me to look to my right.

There stood Chance and another boy, whom I didn't recognize. I blushed slightly.

"Hey, Jesse, how's it going," Chance asked with a shit eating grin. The other boy looked downright embarrassed.

"Going good," I said, still red faced.

Will snickered then quickly turned and pretended to do something in the sink.

"That was...um...some kiss there." He was still grinning.

"Yeah, it certainly was."

I moved a little closer to Will and poked his side with my finger. He tensed up and giggled.

"Well, I guess we better get back to the game." The boys went back outside and I turned to Will.

"You are so dead," I said with a chuckle.

He laughed. "But you love me anyway, I bet."

"Always and forever."

When dinnertime came, I counted seven boys and that was after some had left. We ate and cleaned up. After that only Chance and the other boy remained. I still didn't know his name.

The boys went upstairs to play videogames or computer games, I figured. Will and Charles shooed me and Jennifer outside so we went to the picnic table, as usual.

We chatted a few minutes and then we were joined by the "gruesome twosome". Will stood behind me and massaged my shoulders, it felt good.

I closed my eyes and heard Charles ask Jennifer to rub his shoulders. I almost dozed off but I suddenly remembered I wanted to buy a mobile phone.

"Will, let's ride up the road." I glanced up at him.

"Ok," he said. He looked a little puzzled until I told him where we were going. He ran into the house but returned in a moment.

We got to the store and were greeted by a nice-looking sales guy named Eddie. He showed us several phones and described the various functions on each one. I settled on a particular model and then we went over to his desk and discussed rate plans. I decided on one that offered "rollover" minutes. It was definitely the best deal. Eddie filled out the contract and he had to run a credit check on me. I did have to pay a security deposit, but, it was the minimum. I'd get it back in six months as long as I paid the bill on time. I walked out one happy customer.

"This phone is cool, Will, look," I said holding up my new "toy" and grinning like a fool. He began teasing me about my toy.

We laughed all the way to the car and he was still needling me when we stopped for a milkshake at a new ice cream place that had just opened up. Since the sun had set, it had cooled off considerably so we decided to sit at a table outside on the patio. I asked him how his day was and he said it had gone well.

"Before I forget, Rashaad and Jeannetta have invited us over for a cookout on Saturday evening," he said.

"I bet that'd be fun. I've been wondering how they were doing."

Will asked me about my day and I realized I hadn't told him or Charles what had happened at work. I gave him the story in detail. He voiced his concern for my safety he also said that Allen and Darren sounded nice and maybe the four of us could go out sometime. I agreed.

When we made to the house all seemed quiet. All the vehicles were gone, including Charles' truck, except for my Escort. We figured he had gone to take Jennifer home. The kitchen light was all that was on downstairs. I didn't really have a chance to talk to Jared and Michael earlier and I wanted to tell them about what happened at work too. We heard music coming from upstairs so I knew the boys were home, at least. I knocked on the door...and again...and again, for a third time.

"Damn, they're going to go deaf from that racket," Will said in a louder than normal voice. The music was loud.

"Think I should go in," I asked.

"They've got to turn down the radio. Charles will pitch a fit if it's that loud when he gets back.

I never expected to see what I did when I opened the door and we stepped inside Michael's room.

"Oh Shit!"

"Oh Fuck!"

My mouth dropped and so did Will's.

"I'm sorry guys," I said as we quickly backed away from the door and closed it.

I stared at Will's near panic stricken face. We said nothing and retreated back down the steps, pausing long enough in the kitchen to grab some tea as we made our way outside to our usual spot. A heavy silence hung in the air.

I glanced up at the light shining through the curtains in Michael's window and I wondered what was going through the boys' minds right at that very moment. If I knew Jared and Michael, they were probably embarrassed to death right then.

"Will, what the fuck do I do now," I asked, "What do I say?"

"I don't know, Jesse," he replied.

(MICHAEL'S VIEW)

When I woke up, Jared's arm was wrapped around me. I thought it was kind of cute and I'd probably tease him about it later but I started thinking about it. For the last few days, he had been asking me questions, not firing them off one right after the other but throughout the day. They were questions about being gay and stuff like that. At first, I didn't mind it, then it started to bug me, then I thought maybe Jared wasn't 100% straight after all. I guess maybe he could just be curious. I really didn't know.

I got out of bed and went to bathroom. When I came back into the room, I started to right back into bed but I stopped for a second and watched Jared while he slept.

"Stop staring" I thought to myself. I was starting to get hard so I decided to just get dressed. I didn't want Jared catching me.

After putting on my clothes, I sat down at my desk and started up my computer. I realized I was thirsty, hungry too so I ran downstairs and grabbed a banana, a pop tart and some orange juice. I came back and logged onto the internet and began surfing while I ate breakfast. Pretty soon, I found myself looking at gay homepages. Some were completely stupid, some were just nasty and a few were pretty cool. I didn't really care about gay camps or "bears" or circuit parties, I was just curious if there were other normal gay kids out there. I ran across one site of a 27 year old guy in Texas. He managed a steakhouse, loved baseball and even played semi-pro for a couple of seasons. He told a lot about his partner and the camping and hiking trips they had been on together. There were tons of pictures too. His website looked good but he wasn't a teenager though.

I looked at four or maybe five more and found one from a guy in Arkansas. He was 16. "Finally, a teenager," I thought.

His name was Zack McIlvenna and he lived in a small town near Little Rock. I wondered why he didn't say the name of the town where he lived, that was odd. He had a great site though and he had a lot of pictures too, just like that guy from Texas. Some were just of him, nothing dirty though, and some were him and his friends and some were of him with his family. I clicked on the link, "MY LETTER TO MY FAMILY" and I had just started to read and I must have really been into it, I guess, when Jared's voice startled me.

"Whatcha looking at," he asked. I turned when he spoke. He was rubbing the "sleep" out of his eyes.

"Just a website a gay kid has," I replied.

"Really"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool, too."

He yawned as he got out of bed. His briefs were tented way out too.

"I'll be right back, gotta pee," he said and then he yawned again as he walked out of the room.

My eyes were focused on Jared until he was out of sight. "Why did I just do that?" I asked myself once I turned back to the computer. Suddenly, I couldn't really focus on the letter. I was thinking of Jared and wondering if...maybe even hoping a little bit that, he wasn't straight. I had just started reading the letter again when I heard Jared return.

"Grab a seat man, read this with me," I said.

He sat on the corner of the bed, down at the foot and leaned over to see the monitor. When he started reading out loud, I didn't stop him. I just let him continue.

The guy who wrote the letter must have scanned it because it was his actual handwriting and it was on notebook paper. The letter was several pages long and at times, very emotional. My eyes filled up and when I heard Jared's voice break as he read, I glanced back and saw that his eyes were full too. He continued reading until the letter ended with "...I'm still the same son and brother you've always known. Even if you never love me again, I will always love you, Zack."

Over my own sniffling, I could hear Jared doing the same. I turned just in time to see him wipe away a tear. Our eyes met briefly, then, he quickly looked away, like he was embarrassed.

"Jared, everything's ok, man. Hey, I'm crying too," I said trying to make him feel better."

"Fuck-that guy went through a lot of shit, didn't he," he finally said.

"Yeah, it was pretty sad stuff. I didn't think people could be that tortured inside. He really held back his feelings for a long time."

"He really held back his feelings for a long time" were words that suddenly seemed to connect in Jared's mind.

"I-I..." Jared began to speak but couldn't continue.

The sobs began again and I didn't know what else to do except hold him so I sat on the bed, Indian style, beside him. He turned to face me and wrapped his arms around me as he placed his head on my shoulder. Something in the letter must have struck a chord with Jared or maybe it was what I had said but whatever it was, it triggered something deep inside him. As he cried, I did too, for my friend. Together, we wept until neither of us could cry any longer.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Jared."

"I can't." He spoke so softly it was barely above a whisper.

His raised his head slowly and a lone tear trailed down his cheek. I reached up and, with the back of my hand, wiped it away. Jared pulled back slightly.

Why did he do that? I suddenly felt guilty.

"I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have done that," I said with a quick glance downward. I hoped I hadn't crossed the line.

"It's ok Michael, I really didn't mind," he replied in a tone that sounded almost grateful. We broke our embrace.

Now I was confused.

"You seemed put-off when I touched you. I don't understand, Jared. What's going on?"

He fidgeted with his hands forever before he gave an answer.

"Michael, I don't what's wrong. I can't explain it," he finally said before looking away.

"Bullshit, you know what you're thinking, man. Just spit it out. I'm not going to laugh or anything. You're hurting bro but I can't help you if you won't tell me what's on you mind."

His bottom lip began to quiver and he fidgeted some more with his hands.

"Michael, how do you tell someone that you're not really what they think you are?"

"I don't get it, you mean, you?"

He nodded silently.

"How have you misled people?"

Through tear-filled eyes, he blurted out, "I'm not straight, Michael, ok? I'm gay."

My mind began to race. Jared wasn't straight. It wasn't a huge surprise but I was a little surprised.

"Michael...Michael, did you hear me?"

"What? I'm sorry Jared, I kind of got lost."

"Well, are you mad?"

I had to grin at that. "Why would I be mad?"

"I dunno, I just figured you might be."

"Uh-Jared, I'm gay, remember? Why would I get mad at you because you're gay?"

He shrugged his shoulders and a slight smile formed on his lips.

We talked a few minutes longer until Jared began feeling better, also, his stomach growled, really loud. We laughed and I told him he better go eat something, and fast too. He threw on some shorts and ran down to the kitchen.

I minimized the window of the browser on the computer. I decided to keep it open because there was more on Zack's site I wanted to see. I checked in Jesse's room and Will was asleep so I went downstairs and joined Jared in the kitchen.

"What made you lose it just now," I asked him, hopping up onto the counter. Charles didn't really like for me to sit on the counter but I did sometimes.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I think reading that guy's letter to his family made me think about it. I wish I could tell my Mom and Dad I was gay."

"You should probably wait awhile, I think."

"Why"

"Just wait until you sort things out a little more."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I guess I really need to think about how I'll tell them before I actually do tell them."

"Exactly"

"Think I should talk to Will and Jesse?"

"That would be a great idea. Now, hurry up and eat. I want us to finish looking at that site together." Jared ate quickly and then we went back upstairs.

After a few minutes, Jared spoke, "You know, we should email this guy. He's got a cool website."

"It is a cool site. He seems a lot like us too."

"Yeah--yeah, he does seem a lot like us, doesn't he?"

We wrote a long email to Zack and I figured we wouldn't hear anything from him but maybe he'd reply. We checked out a few more websites after Zack's but they weren't as cool. We looked at some resource sites too and found some good information for gay kids coming out to their parents. I figured Jared could really use that and I offered to print it for him. He seemed thankful and he actually smiled too. I hope he felt better.

After lunch we played a little one on one basketball and then played videogames in my room until we got bored. We had just turned off the game system when there was a knock on my door. I answered it.

"Hey guys, everything alright," Will asked.

"Yeah, we're just bored," I said.

"Really bored," Jared said in agreement.

Will smiled. He still looked sleepy and he was just in his boxers too. He must have just woke up and had to use the bathroom.

"Well, try not to get into too much trouble." He yawned and motioned with his hand that he was going back to bed. He closed the door as he backed out of my room.

Jared shook his head. "Man, I couldn't work third shift. Think about it, you'd get your days and nights all messed."

"I wouldn't want to do it either."

Jared and I talked shit for a few more minutes and then, I took off my shirt, shoes and socks, to get comfortable. I lay back on the bed and he did too. We just laid there, talking.

"Do you ever think of having a boyfriend, Michael?"

"Sure, I'd like to have one but I don't think about it a whole lot."

"Why not"

"I don't know. I just never think about it. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering, I guess."

"What about you," I asked.

"I've wondered about it."

"Have you dated a lot of girls?"

"Only 3 or 4, girls freak me out."

I laughed. "Yeah, they freak me out too. I like some as friends but I don't think I could ever have a real girlfriend."

"Who's your best friend, I mean like, guy or girl?"

"Chance, I guess. I've known him longer than anyone outside my family."

"He seems pretty cool. Does he have a girlfriend?"

I laughed again. "Why? Do you want to fix him up with someone?"

Jared blushed a deep red and I lightly punched his shoulder. That made him blush, even more.

"I might want to," he finally said with a nervous laugh.

"You like Chance?"

"Maybe, but he likes girls doesn't he?"

"I'm pretty sure he's straight, at least, I used to think so. I've caught ol' Chance checking guys out before," I said with a sly grin.

"No shit? He's gay?"

"I didn't say that."

"I guess all guys sort of check out the competition, don't they? That's what I've heard, anyway."

"I've heard that too. I think it's a guy thing, not really a gay guy thing. I wonder about Chance sometimes. He's a hot guy, and I'm not queering over him either, but, he could have any girl in school and he hardly ever dates."

"Maybe he's got a teeny weenie," Jared said using his baby voice while holding his thumb and index finger apart maybe an inch.

I cracked up and then Jared did it again which cracked me up even more.

"I don't think he's got a teeny weenie, I've seen him and he's packin' a pretty heavy tool."

Jared laughed hard.

"You're crazy, Stoneman, you know that?"

"Yeah, Mayhew, so are you. I think I need a nap. I'm beat." I was tired for some reason.

I closed my eyes and got situated, then, I felt Jared's arm across my chest. I started to ask him why he did that but I didn't. It felt nice and I dozed off to sleep that way.

After I woke up, I was wired. I looked at the clock and realized I had only slept about an hour but I felt like I had a lot of energy. Maybe that's what they call a power nap. Jared seemed wide awake too.

"Let's go do something," he said.

"Hey, I can call some of the guys and we can play football. You want to do that?"

"Go for it man," he said excitedly.

I made a few phone calls and pretty soon we had enough to play. We decided on "shirts and skins". I saw Jared grin like a `possum when Chance took off his shirt. Some of my friends were built good but none like Chance.

Will joined in and played for a little bit too. We made him quarterback for both teams since it put us at an odd number. Once, though, when Kenny Williams had to go piss, Will made me quarterback. I was a basketball player, not a football player but I stepped back, spotting one of my guys open and threw a long bomb. I prayed he'd catch it but he didn't, Will did! That nut came from out of nowhere and caught the ball and scored. Everybody thought Will was cool before but now everybody on both teams cheered him. He grinned like he was the shit and he was the shit too. Right after Jesse got home, Will took himself out of the game.

Charles came out and told us that everyone was welcome to stay and eat supper. He was on the grill again and cooking up some hamburgers. Some of the guys left after the game and some stayed to eat with us. After we ate everybody else who was in the game left except Chance and Rudy.

Rudy was going to be a sophomore this fall, a year behind me and Chance, but he was still a cool guy. There had been some gossip this year about Rudy being gay but I didn't know for sure if he was or not. He and Chance hung out every now and then so maybe, it didn't really matter.

Will and Jesse took off to go buy a cell phone for Jesse and then, after me and my friends went up to my room, Charles came upstairs to tell me that he and Jennifer were going out for a while. When no one was looking he slid a twenty dollar bill to me and said if I went out to be home by 11. I thought that was pretty cool. They left and we played a game on my computer for a few minutes and then Rudy mentioned something about wanting a milkshake. That's all it took, I cut off my computer, locked the door and we piled into Chance's car.

We stopped at new ice cream shop that had just opened and went inside. We were almost done when Rudy reminded Chance that he couldn't stay out too late. Chance looked at me and grinned and then he rolled his eyes. We hurried up and finished our shakes and then Chance dropped me and Jared off. Man, I couldn't wait until I got my license.

Nobody else was home so we went up to my room. I undressed, down to my boxers and plopped down on my bed. Jared went to use the bathroom so I grabbed the remote and flipped on the television. I clicked through about 30 channels and found a movie that looked interesting. Two young guys, maybe twenty years old, were sitting under a tree near a creek. The next thing I knew, one pulled the other guy on top of him and they started kissing. I wondered what was taking Jared so long, he was missing this.

"Hey what's that," he asked with wide eyes once he came back into the room.

"Just watch," I replied grinning.

He noticed I was just in my boxers so he got comfortable too and settled onto the bed. His eyes never left the movie. I boned up quickly and I knew Jared did too. We watched the movie in silence until it went off after about a half hour.

"Dude, I am so horny right now," Jared exclaimed. He was almost giddy.

I needed relief.

Jared suggested we jerk off together and I said no but he kept pestering me so I finally agreed. After we came he was still excited. He started talking about blowjobs and how some friends said they felt really good. I was getting excited too just hearing him talk about it so we agreed, he'd give me one and then I'd give him one. I told him to lock my door and I turned on my stereo. I turned it up kind of loud to drown out any noise we might make but figured we'd be done before anyone else got home.

We settled into position and just as he found his rhythm, I look up and there was Jesse and Will standing there. Did they even knock?

"Oh Shit," I screamed as I frantically pushed Jared off me.

When he looked up and saw my expression his eyes darted immediately towards the door. "Oh Fuck!"

Jesse said something but I couldn't hear it over the music. He and Will left my room quickly and Jared and I were left stunned, sitting the bed, staring blankly at one another. He looked like he was going to puke. I thought for a brief moment that I actually was going to. I didn't though.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Carolina Scribbler

Wow! What a chapter, if I say so myself. A lot of ground was covered. Have we heard the last of the redneck Atwood brothers? Will James McAllister lose his attitude? What's his problem, anyway? How will Michael and Jared deal with being caught in the act? Ironic that Jared caught Jesse and then Jesse caught Jared, isn't it? Could Michael and Jared be developing real feelings for one another or is it just experimentation? Tune in next time for the answers to these and other questions in the upcoming chapters.

I always appreciate feedback but I'd like to know your thoughts on this chapter in particular. carolinascribbler679@yahoo.com