Lets get this over with now: I own "Life's Expectations" and every character in the story. There are some events that have actually happened to me, but all the characters are fictional. If it is illegal for you to to view this in your location, then GTFO. You're probably gonna ignore that so have fun. Boy on boy happens in this story so if your not a fan of that, what are you doing here? Donate to Nifty, cause they give you awesome stories and you love them for it. So go to http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html and donate!
Last chapter took a while for me to write. I was busy doing other things and not writing :(. If was getting paid to write that would be awesome, but lets face it my grammar/spelling sucks to much for me to go professional. So here I am writing for fun.
Now this Chapter is gonna be a roller coaster ride! It's gonna start with Shane, go to Lucas and then the winner of the PSA poll. So who did you guys vote for? Well it was: Isaac!!!!
So it's gonna start with Shane's appointment with Dr. Iris Bear. It'll go to Lucas hanging out with his mom and go into him a bit. Finally it'll go to Isaac and you'll find out what happened with him in elementary school. I hope you enjoy!
Lets do this! With a little help from the band Halestorm!
Chapter 20: Beautiful With You
Shane's POV
Today is the day. The day that I go and see Dr. Bear and get told what I need to do to get better. The day where my nightmares will finally start being battled. I am so nervous!
I mean being at the youth center got my mind of things but that isn't helping me now. Here we are in the doctor's office waiting for my TWO HOUR APPOINTMENT! Why does it have to be two hours!? Okay I know why but seriously I don't wanna be there for 2 hours talking about my problems.
So here we are sitting in the waiting room. I'm leaned into Zach's shoulder, Noah is on his phone, and Zach is doing a mixture of the two. Except me and Zach are watching youtube videos. I don't know what Noah is doing.
Then after what felt like forever I heard, "Shane Hearing." All three of us got up and went to the nurse. She gave Zach a dirty look and then led us to Dr. Bear's room. With a knock and a "Shane and company are here to see you Doctor." we were let into the room and we sat down pretty much where we were last time.
Dr. Bear was finishing up her last appointment's notes. As she finished she looked up and spoke, "It's good to see all three of you here. How have you been."
We responded with the typical "Good."
"Well I guess we should get on with it, shouldn't we." She opened up my folder and to find out where we left off. "Noah I'm going to have you finish your point of view of what happened then I would like to hear from Noah."
"Where did I leave off?"
"The last thing you mentioned was Shane's scream when they caught your father." Blunt as can be, but I guess in this kind of situation you can't go into it lightly.
"Oh, okay." Noah took a minute to gather his thoughts. It was probably to get me ready more than anything though. "My father was held at gun point and told to get dressed. He responded with the typical 'what about my rights?' counter. To which the two officers read out his rights to him.
"From there he was handcuffed and brought out to the cop car. The moment he left the room I was at Shane's side ungaging him. I asked him where the handcuff keys were and he told me. From there Shane stayed cuddled up to me crying. One of the cops called an ambulance and we were taken to the hospital.
"While waiting for my brother to be examined in the ER the cop asked me a couple of questions on where we could stay that is safe. I told him we didn't have any relatives in town and our mother had died a few years prior. After that Alice picked us up and we went to the foster homes. There's not much else."
"What were the ER results? Do you remember?"
"He had some rectum damage but nothing unrepairable."
"Was he treated for the damage?"
"When we started to live with Scott and Paula explained to them that he needed surgery. They weren't told what for till Shane was ready to tell them."
"When was that Shane?"
"Grade eight." Lets face it, we all know that I'm snuggled up to Zach's chest and have simple answers right now. I mean we are only 15 minutes into the appointment.
"I know this is going to be hard for you to say, and you are in you quiet mood right now, but I need you to tell me how your father made you feel. I need you to be completely honest with me, okay?"
"What do you want to know?"
"You told me last time that you were ten when he started right?" I nod, "I want you to tell me how you feel that happened."
"Well he told me that Noah spent all his money on the gift and it didn't count for mine. He told me I could pleasure him and that would count as my gift."
"Can you remember anymore details? What did he get you to do, and how did it make you feel?"
"The first few times he made me give him head." This isn't super awkward or anything. I mean its not like I was best friends with her son or anything! "After the first few times he told me to take more and more. It made me feel dirty every time, but I enjoyed it I guess.
"I mean I got hard," I choked on the last word realizing what I was saying to late. "when he made me do it. I enjoyed doing those kinds of things with him. It felt like father son bonding time. Then he started playing with my... ya and I didn't really understand why.
"That day was the first time he had entered me fully. He must had been going at it for close to half an hour before Noah and the police showed up. Even in the midst of all the pain I felt though, it felt good." As I progressed I started to shake more and more. Now it was uncontrollable, I wanted to take every thing I just said back. "What's wrong with me?"
"Shane, nothing is wrong with you. You were an innocent boy being taken advantage of. It is proven that the prostate is a pleasure point on the body. What you felt was only natural." Zach was holding me tight, rubbing my back. Noah looked like he felt out of place. It was his first time hearing this too. "Did you end up testifying against your father?"
"Yes I did."
"And how did that go?"
"I just told the people who asked me questions the truth. I kinda knew what was happening but didn't know what the outcome would be. I did what my mom would want me to do there, tell the truth."
"I see, thank you for being as honest as you were in front of us. Zach, I would like to hear what you have to say about Shane." Wait what!? Why does Zach have to speak? Is she testing him for me?
"What exactly do you want to hear?"
"Whatever you think is necessary to say. What you think of what happened, how you feel about him in the here and now, anything really."
"What happened to Shane wasn't his fault and no one can blame him for what happened. The monster that cause the events was not him. It was out of his control, he couldn't have stopped him if he tried." He sounded like he was saying it to himself as much as he was saying it to me.
"Well worded, now on to what I have to say Shane." Brace ourselves, "What Zach has said is basically what I have to say. What you will eventually understand is that you can not control other peoples actions. What happened to you was out of your control and you didn't know that what your father was doing was wrong.
"I can't tell you when you will come to this reality or if you ever will. What I can tell you is that, if you ever get into a mode where you feel it is your fault having someone there to tell you its not, is a great help." The rest of the session was about ways I can feel better about myself and the world around me. It was mostly theory and things.
When we reached the hour and a half point it was decided that we should end it then and there. She said that I had made progress and that in a month I would see her again. By the end I was feeling a little better about myself.
We had made plans that I would go to Zach's afterwords. Noah dropped us off and he went to hang with his friends. We got up to Zach's room and I go over to his bed while he goes to the bathroom.
After a few minutes he comes out and I can hear some form of water running. He headed into his closet quickly and grabbed shorts, "Here put these on."
"Why, what are we doing?"
"We are gonna have a nice hot bath together and this is the only way we can get away with it. I'll be in the tub, wait 5 minutes for me to be changed okay?"
With that Zach went back into the bathroom and shut the door. I think I even heard an 'ouch' from him. I decided a bath is exactly what I needed so I put on the shorts, with out my underwear on. I'm sure Zach is doing the same and if he's not he has extra underwear here for him.
I went up to the door and knocked, "Ya, I'm good." So I went in to find him in the tub already just relaxing. "Come on in, the water is nice and warm." The tub had more than enough room for me and maybe even a couple more people. So I joined him in the tub in between his legs.
We just stayed like that for the longest time just cuddling and relaxing. It was exactly what I needed. I could even feel his junk as he got semi hard. Somehow we ended up getting into a splash fight, this cause his Aunt's attention. "What are you boys doing?"
"Having a splash fight!" I mean what else would you say there?
That comment though made her come into the bathroom. She noticed we had shorts on right away, "As long as it stays raged PG I'm fine with you two in the tub. Keep those shorts on though."
After she left I felt the need to ask a looming question. So I ended up pausing the splash fight and asking him. "It's been just over a month since we met, and about a month since our first date. So I have two questions: Would you wanna go on a date again, my treat this time? Also would you want to be my boyfriend?"
"Can the boyfriend thing be posted on facebook?"
"Of course."
"Well then I have the best BF in the world now don't I?" The rest of the night was uneventful, except for the thousands of facebook messages and Texts I got asking about me and Zach. Which I was more than happy to inform that it was indeed true.
Lucas' POV
My mom comes into town almost every weekend. When she does she always takes me and Blake out for lunch. This week was no exception, we went out to one of the local restaurants for lunch.
This weekend though was semi special cause she didn't have many appointments. As a result we ended up staying the night at her place, one town over. We played Monopoly for hours like always. After Blake finally won we played Catan. Catan is hard to explain... look it up?
So at ten Blake was falling asleep and mom sent him up to bed. She went up with him tucking him in. I took out some cards and set up a game of War for us. It a game where you split the deck in half between two people and then you go to war with each other with them. You place down the top card of your half and the higher number wins. Aces always win though. If you tie you place down three cards upside down and then one face up. The face up cards then face off and who ever wins gets all the card put down. So in totally they gain 4 cards. The person who gets all the cards wins.
She came down after a little bit and we started playing. We had our regular 'how's school going' chat. I told her that Nick and Anthony were really helping me in Science and I was getting a low B in it currently.
"That's great! Nick is Mrs. Bells youngest right?" My mom knows of Nick and Gage's mom. They are acquaintances.
"Ya, he's in grade eight this year."
"He sounds very smart if he's helping you in science."
"Hey, I'm not that dumb!"
"That's not what I meant. I meant that he knows what he's learning."
"Calling me dumb in the process."
"You don't need to take it personally Lucas. You know I don't mean to upset you." I know she doesn't I like giving her a hard time and then trying to hide it. It usually doesn't work. She is a psychologist after all.
"So how has Shane's sessions been?" She never tells me what happened in them. Just if he's made progress or not.
"He made excellent progress today. I believe he is on the way to a full recovery from his problems."
"Today? I thought his session was last weekend."
"We were making progress last week when our time ran out. So I decided we needed to make another appointment before the monthly one." Sounds like my mom to get things out as fast as she can get them. "I'm sure you know of some of Shane's issues, you were friends last year."
"I know a little bit. I don't know how much you know, so I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to know if you knew anything. His boyfriend is very sweet."
"They actually just made it official tonight. Ya Zach seams pretty cool."
"I didn't realize that Shane was homo or bisexual when you hung out with him." My mom has a voice that I'm not always sure if she's serious or just stating something. So for caution sake I always go with serious.
"It's not a bad thing that he's gay."
"Oh, no I didn't mean that. I just meant that he must have been still discovering himself." OH MY GOD, NO!!!! I know what she is trying to do here! OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD! She knows I'm into guys! Shit!!!
"Ya probably the case." Lets get off this topic right now! I don't want to tell my mom anything. She could very easily tell dad.
"He must have been Blake's age when you two met each other right?"
"Ya I was in grade 6." Stop it, stop it, stop it!
"And shortly after he was exposed you two stopped hanging out. Why was that?"
"We had a bit of a fight." My mom made a face that basically told me to continue. "It was just a fight." Still no luck. "Fine, we had a fight about his rumor of being into guys."
"Lucas, your not telling me everything are you?"
"You purposely waited for Blake to be in bed didn't you?" She just laid down her next card like I knew the answer. I did but I don't like it. It was silent for a long time. I didn't even put down my card. I guess I'm not getting out of this so, "How much do you know?"
"I know nothing for sure, I am merely assuming right now." Like hell you are. You are luring me into telling you everything.
"Then what are you assuming?" To which I got no response. I know what my mom is doing. She's wanting me to tell her that I'm bi by myself. I just don't want to tell her.
"You know there is a 'clear history' option on most computers." There is no way to get out of this now. Fuck shit fuck fuck shit! I totally looked up gay porn last time I was here.
I have to tell her now. "Fine! You got me!" I threw the cards I had in my hand all over the table, I was winning too. "I think I'm bi! Are you happy!?" And I stormed out of the living room to my room. I even slammed the door behind me, probably waking Blake up in the process.
I threw myself onto my bed and wrapped myself in my blanket. I could hear my mom talking to Blake from his room. Which was right behind the wall my bed was up against. It wasn't long before my mom knocked on my door. "Lucas, we need to talk."
I said nothing but she came in the room anyways. I could feel her sit down on the bed. The room was silent, I wasn't going to say anything and mom didn't know what to say. It must have been 10 minutes when I decided it was just awkward to be under a blanket hiding from your mom. "I'm going to bed, please turn off the light when you go."
"Lucas, you know I'm not leaving you until we finish our talk."
"What else do you want to know!" I shot up from underneath the blanket. I'm sure the small amount of tears I had were very visible to her. Though I hoped my rage would cover it up. "You already got one of my biggest secrets out of me!"
I went back under the blanket not wanting to even look at my mom. I just knew she would tell my dad, that would be the end of living with him and I would have to move in with my mom. "Lucas, I didn't mean to upset you. Get out from under there so I can tell you something."
I reluctantly popped my head out, only my head. "What?"
"I'm not going to tell your father. I would never do such a thing."
"Then why did you want to know?"
"So I could tell you its fine if you like boys. I know what your father is like, I was married to him. I know he's probably made some comment on the subject."
"He makes it so confusing. Like I don't even know how to tell him with out him getting mad at me." Mom started to rub my back, "I want to tell him but he always speaks bad about them. It makes me want to not be attracted to guys but I can't stop it."
"Your father is a kind and caring man. He doesn't know he's hurting you, confusing you. Once he knows I bet he'll change his mind, and if he can't on his own he will find help." She married him, she should know right? "I'll let you sleep if you can okay? Don't be afraid to talk to me, if you keep everything bottled inside it will end up acting as a poison. I love you."
"Love you too, mom." Surprisingly I fell asleep and slept soundly for the night. My mom knows I'm into guys and she's okay with it. First step complete to fully coming out?
Isaac's POV
So my sleepover was lots of fun. When I woke up in the morning Nick was cuddled right up to me. I don't really know how I felt about that. It felt cool to have someone up to me, but a guy?
Anyways we decided that we would go up to Nick's house for Saturday night. So we decided we would walk up(bad idea) and take a break at Timies(somewhat better idea). Nick also decided he needed to stop at our local Shell and spend like 30 dollars on junk food(Best/worst idea).
We eventually made it to Nick's, after about an hour of complaining walking up the hill. It was like 20 degrees Celsius from some reason so we decided that a swim in Nick's pool was the best option. We all had shorts so it was officially the plan.
What was still unexpected was Nick's dog running at us as we went inside the house and I went right back out. After a few minutes of Nick wrestling with his dog, he opens the door, "Change of plans, we are going to go for a swim and you are going to tell us why your scared of dogs."
"And if I don't want to?"
"You don't have to tell us everything. Just why you are, like I don't know. Just tell us something so we know whats up." Nick's puppy dog eyes are just horrible to look at. He always gets what he wants with them.
"I can tell you all of it, you just can't tell anyone with out my permission."
"Deal!" We then headed up to Nick's room got changed into shorts and went outside and into the pool. "Okay boy! Get on with it!"
I glared at him, I mean who calls a boy the same age as you 'boy'. "When I was ten I had a dog of my own. Golden Retriever, only about eight months old. I took him out for a walk and we were attacked by a Pit Bull.
"Well I was attacked by a Pit Bull." I removed both bandanas on my arms before entering the pool. I showed the bite scars that were on my arms. My left arm was worse than my right, which had barely anything. "The dog bit me and then Olly attacked him. The Pit Bull shook my left arm about like it was a toy. I tried to stop him with my right but that ended up getting bit in the process.
"Olly got the Pit Bull off of me and on to him. The owner of the other dog made it in time to stop the dog from doing further damage. It turns out the dog had rabies and it was put down. Olly died from his injuries and we never ended up getting new ended up getting a new one. I have just been scared of dogs ever since."
Chapter end
So I ended this chapter in the midst of Isaac explaining his back story. There is more to it than the dog attack. More will come in the next chapter!
As for why this took a while: I have been very active at work, I've bought injustice, and I have been altogether nerding out. So sorry it's late but here it is.
If you want to get some get some more details on Life's Expectations or want to tell me something like the facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/LifesExpectations. You could also email me at kuragari129@hotmail.com
I also have a second story now on Nifty called Where Life Takes Us.
Here is a link to the story: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/where-life-takes-us.
It's a little different than this story but I like it. It'll be updated less regularly but it will still be updated.