Okay, I apologise, but it won't make any difference, we're coming to the end of this story, prepare yourselves.
This is the penultimate chapter, I'm not sure if the story will go forward, I'll make that decision in the New Year.
My life has been so hectic, difficult, and fractured, over this last two years, I need to take stock.
I realise I need something I've never had, some me time, time to reflect, I'm not stupid, I understand why I've been running at this crazy pace for nearly two years, it's been a deliberate act of stopping myself from reflecting, well I know I can't continue this forever, the cracks are appearing, I see the meltdown coming.
The second anniversary of losing him is fast approaching.
On the first anniversary I booked a flight to the US, convinced myself I needed to be occupied, and with the help of true friends it sort of worked.
But not this time, I'm going to be at home, and I'll admit I'm scared, I know it's not alright, I miss him so much, my heart hurts every day, so please forgive me if I take some time to deal with this, on November 14th it will be two years since I lost him, I know I'll be a mess, but after almost forty years with the love of my life, my soulmate, I also know it's possibly the first time I can be honest about how much I'm still hurting, how I feel so guilty for enjoying anything when it's without him.
Thank you all for your loyalty, stay well and safe xxx
Please remember to donate to Nifty, it gives so much to all of us.
Any amount, large or small, is welcome in order to keep this free site available.
Thank you, donations to the address below.
http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
Life's Illusions The Next Generation - Chapter 34
When Phil exited the building, he'd pulled his cell phone from his shirt pocket, intending to ask Tanya what he needed to do next, but the call had terminated.
He went into an immediate panic, he had no job, no income.
He was about to call Tanya's number again when his cell phone rang, displaying her number, what she said brought him back to focus quickly.
"What's with the worried look, you just secured your future, look kerbside, I'm waiting for you".
As Phil looked up, there she was, waving him to get into her car.
As soon as he'd gotten in she'd pulled away, telling him.
"We're going to JBJ Claims Management, where I'm going to show you around, but I'm conscious of the fact we haven't talked specifically about what I want you to do, what your role will be, so keep your ears open, it will all become clear as I introduce you".
Phil was totally in the dark, she said he had a job, said it would pay around three or four times what he had been earning, but he had no idea what it was, he assumed it was some sort of Team Leader role.
"Cheer up Phil, Trevor is going home with Ary, Bobby and Dillon, after we've finished at JBJ, you and I are going out to Barrington Hills for dinner with Mel and her family, you'll be staying over, don't worry about anything, everything will be taken care of, you can pick your car up tomorrow morning, the parking is already covered, it's being moved as we speak, now relax, are you okay?".
Phil just nodded, though he thought he was in a fog, wasn't quite sure if maybe he was dreaming, then a sudden thought struck him.
"How can they move my car, I have the keys?".
Tanya almost giggled as she answered.
"The people I use are snatch back experts, nothing is secure where they're concerned, they don't need keys".
At JBJ Claims Management, Tanya pulled into the staff parking underground area, pointing out a parking space next to the elevator entrance.
"That is were you will park, that space there will be your space, right next to the elevator, it's your own allocated spot from tomorrow onwards, HR will conduct an induction and explain everything for you tomorrow morning".
They took the elevator up to the reception floor, as they exited the elevator, Tanya said.
"This is where you learn what you're going to be doing in your new role, so pin back your ears, and try not to look too shocked".
Heading for the reception/security desk, Tanya announced.
"This is Phillip Coulson, I believe he prefers to be called Phil, as of nine o'clock tomorrow morning, he will assume the position of Vice CEO, JBJ Claims Management, familiarise yourselves, I expect that he will be afforded every courtesy due to the role he occupies".
Phil's eyes were bulging, she'd said Vice CEO, he was certain of it, but his brain was telling him he'd gotten it wrong.
In the elevator he finally found his voice, albeit a little squeaky.
"You said Vice CEO, or was I dreaming?".
He looked completely shocked, so much so that Tanya started laughing, then she answered him.
"If you have a fault Phil, it's not believing in yourself, understanding what you're capable of, it's a good job others, me in particular, can see what you fail to see".
She let him digest that before continuing.
"I need someone who's capable of not just managing this division, I can find that person a hundred times over, the person I want has to be able to lead, identify possible pit falls, defuse them before they turn into a problem, someone who can deal with all that and still motivate the various Section Heads to improve performance month on month, you can do that, and the only person who doesn't recognise it is you".
He was almost crying.
"Nobody's ever had this much faith in me before you, I'll work hard, I'll make you proud".
Tanya could have hugged him, but she could see how emotional he was, so instead she told him.
"That's where you're wrong Phil, every Team Leader, every Manager, every Department Head you've ever worked for, they've all seen what I see, they've just used it to further their own ends, now we're going to use it to further your future as well as ours, mark my words Phil, you have a very bright future ahead of you, starting today".
She'd shown him around, introduced him to the Department Heads, but he still listened intently every time to hear her say, 'This is Phillip Coulson, as of tomorrow morning he will assume the position of Vice CEO'.
Every time he heard it a thrill ran down his spine,he didn't think life could possibly get any better, but there it was again, life's illusions.
There came a point when his cell phone vibrated, signalling an incoming message.
Tanya could tell he was torn, should he answer it, what should he do?.
She answered his unspoken question.
"I'm guessing that's Trevor, tell him it's okay to go home with his friends, you'll see him at their home later".
The orientation tour of JBJ Claims Management finished with a trip down several floors to JBJ Corporate, where Tanya introduced Phil to Jace, who provided another earthquake moment in Phil's world as he said to Tanya.
"Have you told him yet?".
Tanya smiled.
"No, I've had fun watching him get used to the Vice CEO position, I thought I'd give you the job of ratcheting that up a notch".
Phil looked completely lost, he couldn't understand what they were talking about, but he knew it related to him.
Jace could see Phil's bewildered look and invited them both to take a seat in the lounge area of his office before he spoke directly to Phil.
"Don't be alarmed Phil, and don't think what I'm about to tell you is a hasty decision, Mel and I have been working closely with Tanya on this".
Phil could feel his head nodding, in truth, he had no idea what Jace was talking about, but he listened intently as Jace continued.
"We've listened to everything Tanya has said about you, and we couldn't disprove or fault her original assessment, it seems you are the man for the job".
Phil breathed a sigh of relief, Jace was rubber stamping his appointment as Vice CEO, or so he thought as he answered.
"I've already assured Tanya I'll work hard, I'll earn the faith you're putting in me, but I still want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart".
Jace looked at Tanya, his smile saying, 'Okay you win, he's too good to be true', before he continued.
"I don't think you understand Phil, you will only be Vice CEO to Tanya for three months, then I'm taking Tanya away, she'll become COO, (Chief Operations Officer), of JBJ Corporate, that means you'll have to take a step up, now do you understand?".
Phil looked totally aghast, and then it was as if reality kicked in.
He almost squeaked the question.
"To CEO?".
Jace actually laughed, so did Tanya as Jace replied.
"Yes Phil, the 'Vice', role was only ever going to be a slide in, to give you time to get established, as of tomorrow you're unofficially in charge, Tanya is only there as a buffer for the next three months, so you should be looking for an assistant CEO as well, now we have to be completely fair to you, so I'm asking here and now, are you up for it?".
Jace watched Tanya, she was holding her breath, until Phil spoke.
"You bet I'm up for it, and I'll do you proud, I so want to tell my boy that his Poppa finally made it, he's the one person who's always had faith in me, lord knows why, he's had a crap life with me so far".
Tanya breathed a sigh of relief saying.
"I'm sorry I misled you Phil, but I wanted you to know that the guy who has quite possibly the most important position in this collection of companies, the CEO of JBJ Corporate, wants you to head up JBJ Claims Management, he doesn't want just anyone, he wants you, Phil Coulson, that should be a massive ego boost, but I know you'll just brush that aside".
He smiled a nervous smile, before saying.
"I so want to hug you Tanya, you too Mr Thorn, but I guess that's just a little too forward".
It was at that moment Mel entered Jace's office, catching Phil's statement and answering.
"Oh Phil, you'll learn, offering hugs to the Thorn Clan is like offering candy to a baby".
Jace and Tanya were grinning at each other as they jumped up, arms outstretched.
Phil got his hug from Tanya and Mel, before Jace swooped in to get his hug, saying.
"One thing Phil, we only use titles if we're in extremely formal company, that would be The President, or Royalty, I'm Jace to everyone, just as you're Phil".
Mel brought them back to reality.
"Okay let's cut this short, we have a brood waiting for us at home, Tanya is Lois joining us?".
Tanya replied as they collected their personal belongings to exit the building.
"Yes, she may be late, but she'll be with us before dinner".
Arriving at the Thorn Residence in Barrington Hills, Phil was visually gobsmacked, the house, after they'd passed through the guarded gates, was immense, the landscaping meticulous.
He was even more impressed when their cars did a little chicane past cleverly planted tall shrubbery, before diving down a concealed ramp into an underground parking area.
As they'd exited their cars, Jo and David pulled into the garage, closely followed by Will and Tame.
After the greetings and hugs had taken place they'd boarded the elevator up to the hallway of the main house.
As the entered the elevator Mel said.
"Okay Phil, we're used to it, but it might be a shock to you, when these doors open, you're sanity goes into free fall, it's wall to wall kids".
She hadn't been joking, as the the elevator doors opened, they were confronted with, Ary, Bobby, Dillon, and a single nanny, each holding a squirming baby.
Behind them was Trevor with another of the quintuplets in his arms, along with Jermain, Leticia, Luke and Liam
Phil visibly blanched, it was like being in a kinder garden.
Fortunately his son saw his shock and dragged his Poppa aside, whispering.
"Tell me how your day went, I hope being here means you have a new job".
Phil looked into his son's eyes.
"You are finally going to have the life you deserve, I've got a new job, and, oh boy, is it one you'll approve of, I'm going to be CEO of JBJ Claims Management".
This time it was Trevor's turn to look shocked.
They'd enjoyed a wonderful evening, once the gremlins had been safely secured into their cots by Ary, Bobby, Dillon, and surprisingly, Trevor.
Tanya had been joined by her partner Lois for dinner and an overnight.
Trevor, despite being offered his own room, had shared Dillon's room, they'd talked until late, then both enjoyed a very contented sleep.
The following morning Phil had been really impressed, the clothes he'd been instructed to put into a laundry bag hanging on his bedroom door, had all been laundered, and we're now hanging in his dressing room.
Trevor didn't need to have anything laundered, he'd been inundated with offers to pick whatever he wanted from Ary and Bobby's wardrobes.
At breakfast Phil noticed the change in his son, he was positively beaming with happiness, chatting excitedly with his friends.
Phil knew, it was because finally he had, not only the sleep he needed, but good friends and confidence in the future.
Normally they would get up around five in the morning, allowing them time for a meagre breakfast of whatever was in the cupboards or refrigerator, they left home at six thirty, with Phil dropping Trevor at a pre school breakfast club, so that he could be at his desk by seven thirty.
This morning they were having breakfast in a fun environment, Trevor was laughing and joking with his friends, it gave Phil a warm feeling as he watched his son, and he wasn't the only one watching, Jace and Mel were watching Phil.
With breakfast over the adults said goodbye to their children, Trevor would travel to school with his friends, Phil left in Tanya's car.
They'd pulled into the underground parking of JBJ Claims Management and got out of Tanya's car, but Phil was immediately on alert.
In the space where his car should have been parked was a gleaming, sleek, Black Mercedes GLA Class SUV, he was bewildered, almost panicking, someone had parked in his space, but his car was nowhere to be seen, he needed his car, where was it, then Tanya shocked him by throwing a set of keys to him, saying.
"Mel sent your car to auction, you won't need it, not with this beast at your disposal, your PA will give you the paperwork for the sale and you'll receive whatever yours fetched, everything personal was transferred to the trunk of this one yesterday evening, Trevor is going to be so impressed when you collect him in this".
Phil just looked at her, dumbfounded, as Tanya continued.
"Come on slowcoach, you can play with your new toy later, Mel wants to speak with you before we get down to business".
In Tanya's office Mel was waiting for them.
"Phil, I really hope you won't think this presumptive, or intrusive, but Jace and I watched you this morning, we saw what you saw, Trevor, as a relaxed boy on the verge of being a teenager, in desperate need of stability and friends".
Phil was nodding his head in agreement, with no idea where this conversation was going, until Mel continued.
"There's a property, a house, it's a short distance from ours, on a brand new sub division, we wondered if you might consider it as a home for you and Trevor, we can arrange a mortgage through Woodruff Banking, it would be a done deal".
Phil's was totally gobsmacked, and it came through in his reply.
"I really don't know what to say, you've been so good to me, to us".
Mel laughed, saying.
"Please stop strengthening Tanya's case, if her head swells any more we'll need to grease the door to get her through, spend another night with us, we'll take a look at the property this evening, our thinking is that, if you were close by, Trevor could travel to and from school with our brood, if you have to be away for business, Trevor would stay with us, giving you peace of mind to get on with your work".
Phil's reply bolstered Mel's belief they had the right guy.
"Okay, I'm willing to do what you say, if my boy will benefit, he deserves to have a life he can enjoy, and your sons have already proved to be good influences for him".
Mel smiled.
"Okay I'll leave you to concentrate on what Tanya and HR have in store for you, I'll see you out at our house this evening, enjoy the ride home in your new toy, Trevor can go home with our boys again, I'll send a message to Ary and Bobby".
The day had been a continuous series of meetings, first with Tanya explaining the company structure.
JBJ Claims Management was set up as a series of individual units, or divisions.
Although they all carried out the same basic role, to recover the losses sustained by the non fault party after an incident, they each had individual ways of working, therefore it made sense to operate as individual divisions.
The rest of the day was spent with the individual unit managers.
At five in the evening, Phil returned to the office he would be sharing with Tanya for the foreseeable future.
She looked up from her computer screen as he came in.
"Phillip Coulson, what are you still doing here?"
His reply made her smile.
"I might ask you the same question, I just came to collect my things then I'm going to try out my new toy, so I'll wish you goodnight and I'll see you tomorrow morning, oh, and Tanya, I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done for me, I know I keep going on about it, but I am truly grateful".
She smiled, a really genuine smile before saying just one word.
"Go".
The drive out to Barrington Hills was too short, in fact, a hundred mile drive would have been too short, he'd spent the entire journey revelling in how the vehicle performed.
Before dinner he and Trevor had accompanied Mel with Jace to view the house Mel had mentioned to him that morning.
It was, from the road view, a single story property, but it was deceiving.
From the rear elevation it was a two story property, built on an incline which fell away at the rear.
As they entered the house, it appeared they were entering a single storey house, they toured the kitchen, dining and breakfast rooms, along with three ensuite bedrooms, one of them a master suite,with twin bathrooms and closets, the lounge, with its wall of doors that folded back to reveal an enormous balcony giving a view of the garden and patio below.
The agent showing them around then led them to a staircase.
Descending to an unexpected floor below revealed another three bedrooms, two of them shared a Jack and Jill bathroom, the third was a master suite, mirroring the one on the floor above.
A laundry room, and lounge area completed the downstairs area, with access to the back yard, already laid out as lawn and patio areas.
Trevor immediately claimed it as his, Ary, Bobby and Dillon could stay over, they'd have their own space.
Phil had been wandering around in a fog, when Jace asked him.
"Do you like it Phil, would it suit your purpose, does it feel comfortable, if not we can look elsewhere?".
Phil realised, he'd been so overwhelmed, so impressed, so pleased, he'd been almost floating from room to room.
"Oh Jace, I don't need to look anywhere else, this is heaven, Trevor loves it, I love it, do you think I could really get a mortgage on it?".
Jace slapped him on the back.
"It's a done deal Phil".
Turning to the agent, Jace said.
"Take it off the market, Mr Coulson will be buying, you'll get a call from Woodruff Bank tomorrow morning, escrow should be completed within ten days, are we clear on that?".
The agent just nodded, never expecting she'd actually get a sale from this viewing.
Phil on the other hand was waffling.
"But I'll need to apply for the mortgage".
Jace was almost laughing now.
"Phil, you have a PA, she's the best, she'll provide anything necessary to get the show on the road, all you'll need to do is sign on the dotted line when the paperwork is couriered to you, that's it, in ten days time, you'll own this place".
Just as Jace had predicted, on the eleventh day, Phil and Trevor moved into their new home, with a Uhaul trailer containing their meagre possessions, hooked up to the rear of his smart new Mercedes SUV, all through the day Phil had been worrying about how he would furnish their new home, but he should have known better.
He'd taken the afternoon off to load everything into the trailer, before swinging by the boy's school.
Ary, Bobby and Dillon jumped in with Trevor, insisting it was okay they'd get a lift back later.
Unbeknown to either Phil or Trevor, they'd had a call from their Momma, which they'd been told not to divulge.
Mel had bullied the agent into providing keys the day before the completion date, then a home furnishing company she'd appointed had transformed the house, installing everything that could be wanted, right down to a potato peeler in the kitchen drawer.
Phil was almost in tears when they walked in, Mel was arranging a vase of flowers in the foyer.
"What did you do, it's beautiful?".
Mel hugged them both.
"We gave you a present, enjoy it, I suspect you'll pay it back by the bucket load when our boys are bugging you instead of us".
Phil returned the hug.
"Your boys will always be welcome here, just as you are, I don't know how on earth I'm going to repay you for your kindness".
By the time they'd finished hugging, Trevor had vanished downstairs with Ary, Bobby and Dillon.
The boys were claiming their bedrooms as Mel and Phil descended the stairs.
Ary was heard to shout.
"Do you want one of these rooms Dill, Bobby and I can share?".
Dillon's answer almost swelled Trevor's head.
"Nah, and you guys can't have one either, we're all sharing with Trev, Jermain's in one bedroom with Luke and Liam, Leticia's in the other".
Phil had asked Ary.
"Where are your cousins?".
Ary almost giggled as he replied.
"They all have after class things to do, Jermain, Luke and Liam have Football practice, Leticia has Choir practice, but they're coming straight here after".
Phil laughed.
"So I have a full house tonight".
Bobby assured him, in a really serious tone of voice.
"It's okay, we promise to keep the noise down, you won't know we're here".
Phil was just as serious when he answered.
"That's not exactly the answer I was looking for, you don't have to keep the noise down, I want this to be a family home for Trevor, god knows, he's never had it before, enjoy yourselves, and know you are always welcome".
Life had rolled on, the friendships strengthening.
Whenever they'd needed to double up, it had always been a forgone conclusion, Ary and Bobby would share, as would Trevor and Dillon.
They'd nagged and nagged and nagged for months, until their collective parents had agreed, they could ride the bus to and from school the same as all the other kids did.
There were two buses which served Barrington Hills, one headed west before circling round to Barrington Hills, the other left slightly later and headed east before circling round to Barrington Hills.
They always rode the east bound bus, mainly because it departed a little later and allowed them all time to meet up outside Dillon's classroom.
Of course, they couldn't know the drivers were both employed by Guardian, experts in just about every type of lethal combat.
Ary, Bobby and Trevor were nearly twelve, Dillon had just turned nine when the unthinkable happened.
It had been a Friday, the day of their last exams.
They'd been excitedly talking as the school bus rolled to a stop on The Avenue, in Barrington Hills, the pickup and drop off point for several of the kids.
Trev was first off the bus, he'd turned, still talking animatedly to Dillon, walking backwards across the front of the bus, when the speeding car hit him.
Dillon watched in shock as Trevor was thrown into the air, landing a good ten yards away, as his eyes took in the blood, his mouth let out a piercing scream.
Ary and Bobby were still dismounting, saying goodbye to their friends, when they heard Dillon scream, the driver knocked them physically back into the bus, leaping down to the sidewalk he turned across the front of the bus, sprinting to where Dillon was sobbing, and cradling his heavily bleeding pal.
Trevor was unconscious, there was blood everywhere, the driver didn't dwell on ceremony, he yanked Dillon aside, turning to Ary and Bobby he said.
"Deal with your brother, I need space, and look out for the ambulance, he's hurt bad".
Dillon was hysterical, screaming and struggling to get back to Trevor's side, but Ary and Bobby held onto him.
Soon enough they heard the unmistakable wail of an approaching ambulance, within minutes there were paramedics working on Trevor.
Jace was just finishing up a budget meeting when he saw Ary's call flash up on his cell phone, in a good mood he answered the call.
"Hi Son, to what do I owe the pleasure of speaking with my first born this wonderful afternoon".
Jace wasn't prepared for his first born to be sobbing.
"Ary what's the matter, tell me son?".
Ary was having difficulty speaking, but he knew, he had to tell his Poppa.
"Trevor's hurt bad Poppa, a car hit him, there's blood everywhere, I'm frightened, there's an ambulance, he's not breathing, help him Poppa, Dillon's having a meltdown, he loves Trevor.
Jace was stunned, so many facts had just tumbled out of his sons mouth, things he and Mel had speculated about, but none of that mattered right now, his instincts kicked in.
"Ary get in the ambulance with Trevor, you, Bobby and Dillon don't leave him, your Momma and I will find you, trust me".
Jace's next call was to Guardian, while waiting for it to connect he shouted to his PA.
"Find Phil Coulson and my wife, get them both here immediately, tell them it's an emergency".
Jace heard Guardian's reception answer, it took only seconds for them to connect him to the control room.
"This is Jace Thorn, there's been an RTA incident involving a child on a supervised school bus in Chicago's Barrington Hills District, the child is Trevor Coulson, direct the attending ambulance to Northwestern Memorial Hospital, we're on our way to meet it with the child's Father".
The operator had acknowledged Jace's instruction.
Mel and Phil turned up at almost the same moment, running as they exited the elevators.
Mel was struggling not to cry.
"What is it, are the boys okay?"
Jace felt awful as he ignored Mel's question, turning instead to Phil.
"It's Trevor, he's been in an accident, a car hit him, don't panic, my car's waiting downstairs, come on, Ary, Bobby and Dillon are staying with him until we get there".
Phil was shaking as Jace and Mel almost dragged him toward the elevators.
TBC ARB Allan
Comments are welcome to Allan at : cfgw2000@aol.com.
Thank you for giving me your time, enjoy.