Please remember to donate to Nifty, it gives so much to all of us. Any amount, large or small, is welcome in order to keep this free site available. Thank you, donations to the address below. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
Life's Illusions - 10 years on - Chapter 30
At The Inn in Montclair, Aly was unusually happy that morning, he'd awoken to the most wonderful sensation of Bo deep throating his ample cock whilst two of Bo's fingers were embedded deep into his sensitive hole gently strumming across his prostate, it took only a few minutes of loud moaning before Aly blew like Vesuvius, with Bo greedily savouring his prize.
Enjoying his coffee in the main courtyard Aly was deep in thought, he'd just left Pierre, but it was the content of their conversation that had really gripped him.
Over the past few months revenue from the private dining rooms had been falling consistently month after month, they'd spoken about it over dinner a few weeks back, just a casual conversation where they were all agreed, trade had definitely tailed off in that area.
Aly had no idea Pierre had taken the content of that conversation as a personal project.
Earlier Pierre had sat with Aly in the courtyard, his suggestion, re-inventing the large private dining room as an exclusive party venue had immediately gripped Aly's attention, Pierre had also suggested they knock both private dining rooms into one, increasing the space and ultimately the capacity.
He'd looked at what they made in profit from the existing rooms which were used rather randomly, then, in much the same way he'd gone about researching for the computer system he'd finally installed, he'd worked up a detailed analysis of the costs and profit if they adopted his new plan, talked it through with their accountants and had them verify his figures.
He had it all covered, Jordy, or Jordon Heys-Foster, would transform the space into whatever the customer wanted, each hire would be three days as a minimum, one to prepare, one for the event and one to remove the scenery.
Pierre had arranged that they could work with the owner of the Fancy Dress Shop, to supply whatever costumes were required.
Working with Bo's chefs, he'd set out a series of suggested menus, and to top it all off, if Aly and Bo agreed, he had the first three bookings lined up, school friends, whose parents wanted them to have a party similar to the one arranged for Pierre.
He'd spoken at length with his Aunt Beth, she was more than willing to revamp their website, advertising the new venture.
They would have a lavish pre-arranged, ticket only Gala Ball on certain public holidays, Christmas, New Year, Easter, Bastille Day, etc.
Aly was absolutely staggered, and bursting with pride, that Pierre was such a hard working young genius.
It was no surprise, with all that was whirling around in his head, it took him a moment to register when the voice came from behind him.
"I believe I have you to thank, for waking me up, bringing me out of my fog".
Aly heard the words, but his mind had not been completely engaged, for just a few seconds, then it struck home, like lightning he was out of his chair, hugging Reece to him.
"Oh Reece, you won't believe how great it is to see you here, I was so worried, so upset, yeh, I sort of gave the family a little push, but that's really all they needed".
Reece chuckled.
"Err, I believe you called PJ and Lenny a pair of, and I quote, 'Two faced, lying hypocrites', and Woody a liar, add in that you almost caused three divorces, that's a little more than a push pal".
Aly was grinning.
"Oops, you heard then, I'm not exactly number one for tact and diplomacy when riled I'm afraid".
Reece looked him in the eyes.
"I remember Pauly describing you before I met you that first time, he said, 'Aly's a bit of a firecracker, he tends to go off on one at the drop of a hat, but never doubt his sincerity, he only ever has one aim, to do what's right', Pauly loved you dearly and so do I".
Aly had distinctly moist eyes as he replied.
"I've never said this to anyone but, Pauly was my favourite when we were growing up, Woody and me I mean, Pauly always made time for us, there were so many times his friends had to put up with us tagging along, if anyone objected Pauly always turned it around on them, he'd say, 'I'm out with my little brothers, they're not the ones tagging along, you are, so if you don't want to tag along, get lost', he always made us feel wanted".
Aly paused, not sure about going on.
"I'm possibly one of the few people who can say I know how you feel, what you've been going through, it's why I came down so hard on the family, why Woody got it on the chin, he above all should have been there for you, and he was deserting you, I had to make them see sense, as much for their own good as for yours".
Reece was quiet for a while, they both were, then Reece asked the inevitable questions.
"When does it get better Aly, when does the awful loneliness stop, when will I stop feeling like a massive part of me is missing, will I ever be able to genuinely laugh again without feeling guilty?".
Aly saw Bo approaching and touched his finger to his lips, a sign that he was deeply into conversation with Reece.
Bo came up behind Reece and engulfed him in a hug.
"It so good to see you here pal, I'm guessing by the look on Aly's face, you just asked the million dollar question and he's trying to decide if he should tell you the truth or throw out the usual platitudes, well I'm going to insist, tell him the truth Aly, but understand Reece, be quite clear on this, we are here for you, you're not alone and you never will be, from this day forward you call either me or Aly once every week, if you don't, we hop a flight and bang on your door, I mean it, now I'll leave you to listen to Aly".
Bo walked away with both Reece and Aly's eyes following him.
Aly turned back to Reece.
"Bo still has trouble dealing with Joe's death, it still hurts him, brings him to tears, and before you ask, no that doesn't worry me, I know Bo loves me, as strongly as he loved Joe, still loves Joe".
Aly could see the confusion in Reece's expression.
"I loved, I still do love Stevie, like Bo, Stevie was my first love, my soulmate, the one I planned to live out my life with, mortality wasn't an issue, we had forever, except, we didn't, and nothing had prepared me for that, for the hurt, the guilt, survivor guilt I think they call it, why him?, why not me?".
Aly paused a moment.
All the platitudes people throw at you, time's a great healer, it will get better, one day at a time, none of it helped me, I was in a dark, horrible place, on my own, that was the worst of it, I was on my own, he was gone, forever".
Aly was close to not holding it together, but taking a breath he carried on.
"People offer those platitudes because they don't know, can't know, how to deal with the pain you're going through, what to say, the silly thing is, they're true, time is a great healer, as time passes, mostly you won't hear Pauly's name and dissolve into tears, you'll smile proudly, proud that his name was mentioned, proud that you're not the only one who remembers him, misses him",
He gave Reece a moment to take in what he was saying.
Don't get me wrong, there will still be occasions where something triggers a memory, one that can, and will reduce you to tears, it still does for me, I know it does for Bo, but it's not something to deny, admit it, talk about it, we do, right now you're hurting but that will change, slowly, not overnight, there's no quick fix, very slowly your outlook on life comes back from dark clouds to sunshine, you won't see it happening, but there will come a time when you realise it's happened, I swear".
Reece, despite being upset himself could see this was difficult, almost painful for Aly.
"Aly, stop, I didn't mean for you to get upset, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you".
Aly smiled.
"Yes you should Reece, I might be emotional but, in all honesty, I'm proud to say I remember Stevie, my Stevie, I'll love him all my life, not more or less than Bo, but most importantly, I refuse to waste a minute, even a second of my life now because I'm living it for him as well, I have to make it count, because one day we might meet again, if that happens I want to be able to hold my head high and know I didn't waste the time I had, time he didn't have, I hope that makes sense to you".
Reece was clearly moved.
"It does, Aly, I new if anyone could give me a handle on this, it would be you, in truth I didn't want to go on, not without my boy, he's been my life for so long, but I'll persevere, I have Sofia and the boys, I'm going to devote my time to them, you found Bo, I can't get my head around that, I don't see me ever loving again, please don't think I'm being critical of you and Bo, I'm not, it's just where I am, I want Pauly, I always wanted Pauly, I just don't see a time when I won't".
The thought that entered Aly's head made him giggle.
"Oh Reece, I couldn't have even entertained the idea of me and Bo if we'd been where you are now, but it was a long way down the line, at a time when we were both in a sexually explosive situation, we'd both been barren for so long, denied ourselves the outlets on offer, it was inevitable, and I predict you will do the same, all I ask is, when the time comes, and you'll know if it's right, fuck like a bunny, and I promise, you'll know what Pauly would say about it, in your head you'll have that conversation, Pauly will tell you it's about fuckin time".
It had gone from afternoon to evening, they were still sat in the courtyard and Reece could see Pierre and Piers hovering.
"Aly, I appreciate the time you've given me but I see a couple of very important boys wanting to get to you, could we do this again maybe?".
Aly smiled.
"I think it's been a good afternoon for both of us Reece, I wanted to take you through my journey, I wanted you to understand it's hard, hurtful, bleak at times, but most of all I wanted you to know there is sunshine, you will get there, right now it may not seem like it, but I promise, you will get there, now let's welcome in the horrors".
With that Aly waved to Piers and Pierre who immediately headed for their Poppa and Uncle Reece, with Pierre taking the lead.
"Uncle Reece, Piers and I are really sorry Uncle Pauly died, he was really kind to us when we saw you both at the party after our adoption, he said he hoped one day to be able to give me a great gift, but for now to enjoy the love of two wonderful parents, I don't suppose I'll ever know what he meant, but it doesn't matter, I liked him, he was a really kind man".
When the children had gone to bed, Aly, Bo and Reece still sat on the terrace.
Reece pulled an envelope from his pocket and offered it to Aly.
"I know what's in there, but I don't know how detailed it is, as you know, Pauly made it his project in the last couple of months before he died, he point blank refused to hear the doubting Thomas's, he told me to give it to you, he wanted me to urge you, don't be too exited or get your hopes up too high, he said he'd already paid for what needed to be done, he said to tell you it was his gift to all of you, but in particular to Pierre who he thought was one of the most remarkable, unassuming, caring and kind boys he'd ever met".
Aly looked at Bo who nodded, urging him to open the envelope.
As he read Pauly's letter tears started streaming down Aly's face, when he finished reading he passed the letter to Bo.
Within moments Bo was in the same state, he said only three words.
"He did it".
It had started at the party to celebrate Pierre and Piers adoption, the party to welcome them into the wider family.
Everyone was there, Pauly and Reece flew in from Torremolinas with Sofia, Billy, Jay and Jolly flew in from Chicago with their brood, even Raul and Reya flew in from London accompanied by Rocco, Raul's younger brother who'd been visiting them.
Josef and Juan couldn't get leave from their posts in Cologne but they Skyped with their new cousins for nearly half an hour, promising to meet up as soon as possible.
Pauly had spent most of the afternoon with the boys, enjoying their company, clearly in awe of Pierre's, outlook on life.
Reece had seen it easily, he knew Pauly, knew when he'd set his sights on something.
Pauly had already heard how poor the prognosis was of Pierre ever being able to walk, the nerves had never developed fully, there were sections which hadn't met up when his body was forming, they were there, but no one knew if they could be attached, could the gaps be bridged, the general opinion was no.
Before his sons had cleared the Skype link Pauly had gone into a hushed conversation with them, he'd asked them to find something out for him, the name of a military doctor, one who'd been hailed a hero for his work on the battlefields, swearing both to secrecy before they ended the call.
It was only a day later that Josef rang his Pops, providing the information Pauly had requested, allowing Pauly the possibility of locating one man, a man he deemed to be crucial in achieving his particular goal.
Reece had asked what he was up to and Pauly had surprised even Reece.
Pauly was intending to scour the globe for someone in particular, someone who didn't exist according to a large number of experts.
Leo provided Pauly with a team of researchers, charged with tracking down a particular specialist, after all, this was Leo's grandson, if Pauly could pull this off, Leo would be ecstatic.
It was whilst Pauly was engaged in this search, he was first diagnosed with cancer.
Far from distracting him, the news spurred Pauly on, it became a crusade he was determined to see through, and he did, he got the result everyone said couldn't be realised.
Pauly had found the specialist he'd been looking for in America, an ex forces doctor who had operated in the real time field of war, reattaching severed nerves.
Using one of PJ's jets he'd flown him to Madrid, and they'd immediately taken a dislike to each other.
At their first meeting Reece had thought Pauly was wrong, not believing he could ever get this man to perform the operation Pierre needed, but Reece underestimated Pauly's ability to get what he wanted.
Carlton Jordan had become a legend in his field, he'd perfected the procedure of reattaching severed nerve endings.
When others said it was impossible, he achieved the impossible, brought his patients back from the lifetime of paralysis facing them, to an active life.
When Pauly explained his requirements, provided the medical records, he'd laughed, explained he worked on the possible, not the impossible.
Pauly had led the amused doctor to a window in the office suite he'd rented.
As the blinds opened, the amused doctor got his first view of around twenty well known leading journalists in the field of medicine, all sat patiently in the next room, suddenly he wasn't quite so cocky, he was starting to get a bad feeling about this meeting, Pauly had thought it was time to reel him in.
"Now, let's drop the attitude, you see I have to go in there shortly and either validate or vilify the fantastic specialist I've been priming them about, Oh, in case you haven't guessed yet, that would be you".
Carlton Jordan, or Cal, as he preferred to be known was now visibly shaken, he saw his whole world collapsing before his eyes, his clinics closing, his empire heading for bankruptcy.
"Why are you doing this to me, what did I do to you?".
Pauly was matter of fact, he had an agenda and he wasn't wavering, he didn't have time.
"You made a statement, and I quote, 'If the nerve endings are there I can put them together and make the system work', unquote".
Cal was trying to talk but his voice wouldn't work so Pauly ignored him.
"So that was a lie, you're a fraud, you're doing the possible, not the impossible, just taking on the riskier but possible, the cases others aren't willing to stake their reputation on, no real risk, just harder work".
Cal found his voice and it was angry.
"That's not true, I do take on, and I accomplish, the impossible, by other's standards, but what you want, that's crazy, those nerves have never even met, never conducted instructions, no one has ever done that, it's an unknown, it may not work, no one really knows".
Pauly pointedly looked at his watch before speaking.
"Right about now those journalists have a deadline approaching, can you see the headlines blazoned across tomorrow mornings tabloids?, 'So called genius dupes the rich', that should just about scupper your lucrative little empire, or then again, alternatively, it could so easily read, 'Genius Specialist to attempt attachment of never before used nerves".
Cal started to object, Pauly silenced him.
"Shut the fuck up and listen because I don't have time to fuck around, I mean that in more ways than you can possibly understand, I want you to attempt something you said was possible, I'm showing you a body where the nerves are all there, you've studied the medical records, everything you said you could do, was that a lie, or are you just too chicken to put your money where your mouth is, you think you'll fail, is that it?".
This time Pauly couldn't silence him.
"I'm no failure, and I'm no chicken, what you ask should be possible, every piece of scientific evidence, every surgery ever performed on similar situations says it should be possible, but it's never been done, I can't guarantee it, it may not work".
This time Pauly went in for the kill.
"So, let's say you performed the operation, if it doesn't work, what does the patient have to lose, he can't walk now, he won't walk then, he won't be any worse off, but what do you and the patient have to gain if it works?, he'll experience life as he deserves, you'll be a worldwide hero".
Cal almost shouted.
"You haven't even told me who the patient is, I can see it's a male, and of a very young age, I'd have to meet him first".
Pauly knew he had his fish, and it was almost in his net.
"No chance, give me your answer, then if he wants to meet you, it's his decision, his and his alone not yours, no one else can or will make that decision".
That meeting had been a little over one month before Pauly lost his own fight for life.
Reece now felt he had to explain.
"I'm sorry, really sorry, after Pauly died I lost my way, I didn't do what he asked, that was wrong of me, I've caused a delay, but now it's in your hands, I know Pauly will be watching, good luck guys".
Aly and Bo admitted, they were both nervous, terrified even, they had no idea how Pierre would react.
Bo suggested they bring it up at dinner the next night, but the day after had been PJ's birthday.
Normally this would only require a brief visit to Chateau Montclair for the delivery of presents and birthday wishes.
But this was no ordinary birthday, PJ would be sixty five, a significant milestone, and Jacqueline, with Lenny's help, had arranged a family garden party, culminating in a lavish dinner party, for this, every member of the family, close and extended, were arriving in from all parts of the world.
They couldn't avoid it, the discussion with Pierre would have to wait, well, that had been their plan, but they hadn't counted on some young ears overhearing their private conversation and drawing totally the wrong conclusion.
Aly and Bo had been up early next morning, in fact, they'd talked long into the night, hardly sleeping at all.
They were in agreement, by far the biggest problem would be getting Pierre to fly to Chicago, where the operation would be carried out.
Pierre was a nervous flyer, short trips were okay, but anything more than four hours was a nightmare, he fussed, fidgeted, whined, he just didn't like flying.
Bo was in the kitchen preparing the family breakfast, a time of day he usually enjoyed the most, invariably the boy's would be served toast or pancakes in the shape of some cartoon character, they in turn had to guess the character, breakfast was always a fun time of the day.
That morning Bo was all fingers and thumbs, it seemed everything he touched went wrong.
When Aly walked in he stopped dead in his tracks, the kitchen resembled a war zone, broken eggs on the floor, flour across the surfaces, milk leaking from the refrigerator whose door was swinging wide, but to top it all, Bo seemed oblivious as he stared out of the window, whilst there was French toast on fire in the pan on the range.
"Jesus Christ Bo, what the fuck are you trying to do, burn us down".
Bo turned at the shout from Aly, tears rolling down his face.
In an instant he was wrapped in Aly's arms, this time there was no shouting, only soft words.
"Come on now Bo, you have to get this under control, you're dwelling too much on the problem.
Piers had just then reached the kitchen door, what he heard sent him into a panic, brought his whole world crashing down.
"There is no alternative, Pierre has to go, that's a fact, Piers will stay here, for the time being, he can go later, it's for the best".
Well before he reached the top floor Piers was sobbing loudly, enough that Pierre heard him before he reached the landing.
Scooping his sobbing brother into his arms, Pierre was mystified, concerned.
"What is it Bro, what's upset you?".
Piers couldn't talk rationally, he could only blurt out bits of information between sobs.
"You, why, you haven't done anything wrong"
Pierre couldn't understand.
"Calm down Piers, try to tell me what you mean.
Piers just sobbed all the more loudly as he heard the words again in his head.
He repeated what he'd heard, word for word to his brother.
"They're sending us both away, you first then me later, we won't be together, what did we do wrong, I don't want to go anywhere without you".
This last sentence caused the level of Piers sobbing to increase further, to a level which could clearly be heard at the bottom of the staircase, where Aly now stood, about to shout the boys for breakfast.
In a matter of moments he was arriving, out of breath on the top landing, to be greeted by both boys in tears, hugging each other as they sobbed.
Instinctively he scooped both boys into his arms.
"Hey guys, what's this all about?".
Aly couldn't understand what was causing the tears, but neither did he expect Pierre to turn on him as he did, nor that both boys would try to push him away.
"Get off us, you don't have to pretend, Piers heard you, what did we do wrong, you're just cruel, send us away but we have to be together, don't split us up, we'll do anything you want, just let us stay together".
Aly was totally confused, at this point Bo appeared at the top of the stairs, his face registered shock at the scene before him.
"What's wrong?, Aly, what happened?, boys?".
Piers pulled away from Pierre.
"I hate you both, do whatever you want, I'll run away, I'll find Pierre wherever you send him".
At that Piers ran to his room, slamming the door loudly.
Bo looked at Pierre.
"Would you kindly explain what on earth is going on because I have a family breakfast ready downstairs, and right now I seem to be in an alternate universe, one where our usually happy sons have turned into little horrors"
Pierre just glared at him.
"Family, oh yeh, that figures, keep up the pretence, well tough, Piers heard you, you said, 'There is no alternative, Pierre has to go, that's a fact, Piers will stay here, for the time being, he can go later, it's for the best'.
The tears were streaming down Pierre's face.
"What did we do wrong?".
Pierre then turned his buggy towards his room and moments later a second door slammed loudly.
Aly, silent throughout this exchange said.
"Oh shit, Piers only heard that one sentence nothing before or after, no wonder they're upset, looks like our day just got messed up, that family chat is paramount now, you grab the little one, I'll grab the big one, meet you in the lounge downstairs, breakfast will have to wait".
A few minutes later saw both Aly and Bo marching down the staircase, each with a struggling, abusive boy under their arm.
In the lounge both boys were deposited on a sofa before Aly spoke.
"First off, let's get something straight, we are your fathers, you are our sons, we love you, that will never change and no one is being sent away, now or ever, do you hear me?".
Piers started to protest.
"I heard you".
Aly sat next to him, his arm around Piers shoulder.
"You heard one sentence and you heard it correctly, but you didn't hear the rest of the conversation, you applied the sentence wrongly, the rest of the conversation would have totally changed how you dealt with what you heard, so I'm proposing we have the rest of the conversation now, that way you get to hear exactly what we were talking about, what we we were worried about, what has kept us from sleeping these past twenty four hours okay?".
Both boys just nodded.
Bo in turn nodded at Aly, giving him the okay to explain, whilst shifting to sit next to Pierre, pulling him into a hug.
"The other day Pierre, you said something to Uncle Reece about a gift Uncle Pauly mentioned he hoped to give you".
Pierre nodded, obviously puzzled.
"We know what that gift is, it's somethings pretty important, when I've explained what it is you'll have a decision to make, it could involve you deciding to go away from here for a short while, and I stress, you will be the one to decide, no one else, only you, do you understand so far?".
Again both boys nodded.
"In the months before he died, your Uncle Pauly set himself a mission, a crusade almost, he was determined to find one man, a man he'd been told could join together damaged and severed nerves, successfully".
Pierre now held his hand over his mouth, as if he were afraid to speak, afraid to hope, terrified of where this conversation was going.
"He found that man, Doctor Carlton Jordan, he's in Chicago, Uncle Pauly had him flown to Madrid, they met several times, he's agreed to operate on you, but only if you agree".
It was proving too much for Pierre, tears were streaming down his face, Bo pulled him in tighter, whispering.
"It's okay son, you get to choose, you only do it if you want it, no one will make that choice but you".
Pierre nodded as Aly went on.
"What Piers heard was me speaking figuratively, me saying it's something that has to happen, but it only has to happen, so that we, the people who love you, get our wish, which is that no stone is left unturned in an effort to get you walking, that was not me talking literally, like Poppa Bo said, you, and you alone will make the choice, we are behind you whatever you decide, most importantly, you both are and will always be, our wonderful sons".
An almost inaudible sound came from Piers, muffled by his head being buried in Aly's chest.
"I'm sorry, I got it wrong, I'm sorry I shouted at you".
Aly hugged him in tighter.
"Don't be upset son, no harm done, as long as you never really hate me it's okay".
Over the next couple of hours, Bo cooked breakfast again, this time without destroying the kitchen, they moved to the kitchen, talking as he cooked, they continued talking throughout breakfast, Aly gave Pierre the letter from Pauly.
Uncle Reece told us, he described you as ' one of the most remarkable, unassuming, caring and kind boys he'd ever met', he was determined to give you something precious before he left this earth, and I believe he did".
They were late arriving at Chateau Montclair and Reece was the first to quiz Aly and Bo once the boys were out of earshot.
"Is everything okay, I was getting worried when you didn't turn up, have you told him?".
Bo replied.
"We had to, we'd planned on spending a whole day talking it through tomorrow, but Piers overheard a snippet of our conversation and got it all wrong, the result was two very upset boys who thought we were sending them away, we didn't have any alternative, they needed to be reassured, that meant telling all and talking it through, hence why we're late".
Reece asked the inevitable question.
"So is he going to do it?".
Bo shrugged, Aly replied.
"We don't know Reece, we've given him every bit of information we can, but it has to be his decision, we stressed he must decide based only on what he wants to do, not on what others want or feel is the right decision, we can only wait whilst he makes his decision".
By the end of the day everyone within the family knew about the dilemma Pierre was facing, many of them tried to give him advice, but only one received a favourable response, late into the evening Reece found Pierre, huddled with Piers in the garden.
"Guys, I don't know if you'll want to take this call but my boys say they have something important to tell you, I don't know what it is, they won't discuss it with me, but I trust them to have your best interests at heart".
Pierre agreed to the Skype link with Josef and Juan and at the appointed time they were there on screen.
Pierre had expected Josef would be the one talking, like last time, with Juan nodding his agreement, but no, not this time, it was Juan who spoke.
"Hello little cousins, we hear you had some pretty amazing news recently, we already knew what you learnt today, mainly because we helped an amazing man put it together, you know who I mean, our fantastic Pop".
Juan paused.
"We didn't call today to talk with you Pierre, you have a decision to make, we don't think anyone should interfere with that, it's yours alone to make, we wanted to talk to you Piers, you see little budy, it's so possible Pierre will say no to this chance because you are frightened of the outcome, so all we want to do is ask you one thing, be brave, don't influence him, support him, whatever he decides, please".
They didn't stay on, didn't labor their point, after wishing their cousins good luck they closed the link.
Later that night, up on their own floor, the boys talked openly before bed, Piers was the one talking.
"I'm sorry Pierre, I know I've caused you problems, I don't want to lose you, my wonderful big brother, you've always looked after me, but now you have to stop listening to me, you have to make this decision on your own, it's not about us, or me, it's about you, it's time to go get something for yourself, if it doesn't work, so what, you tried, you're no worse off, I guess I'm saying, whatever you decide I'm with you, but I refuse, I absolutely refuse to be parted from you, I'm going to be there every step of the way, so you have to support me on that as well".
They hugged, before Pierre said.
"Okay, I get you, I'll bear that in mind, I'm frightened as well you know, I know I can't be any worse off, but I'm still frightened, if I decide to do this I need to know you'll help me, be there for me, so yes, if I do decide to do it, I'll insist you come with me".
Somewhere in the early hours of morning, well before the sun made its appearance, Pierre felt his little brother climbing into his bed, automatically his arms pulled Piers into a cuddle, in a sleepy voice, to his already fast asleep brother he said.
"I've made my decision Piers, don't be upset, everything will be alright, we'll manage, we always have, sleep now little brother".
TBC