********************************** Disclaimer *********************************
The following story contains homosexual activities and is not suitable for younger viewers. You must be at least 18 years of age. I in no way know the true sexuality of Kevin Richardson or any of the members of Backstreet Boys. This story is strictly fictional.
Author's Note
I'm not going to apologize for not writing. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go as planned. Needless to say I've been through a lot in the past 2 years. My life changed dramatically and I've been through one of the most horrible emotional roller-coaster rides of my life. But it's behind me now, and I'm back. Maybe till tomorrow, next week, or maybe till next year. I just hope you enjoy the story and that you don't all hate me for not continuing with it.
Chapter 7
We kissed for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't want to stop. We both realized we could go on like this for hours and we stopped. Staring deeply into each others eyes.
"It's getting late and I have recording tomorrow." Kevin said with disappointment in his eyes, "I wish I could sit here forever. Staring into your eyes and kissing you."
"Me too.." I said in a soft voice.
I drove Kevin back to the hotel and pulled up to the front door. He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips.
"I'll give you a call later." he smiled as he opened the door. I nodded.
Kevin walked into the hotel and I just sat in my car for several minutes. I was trying to piece together what exactly was happening. I was not looking for this in anyone, let alone Kevin. I never would have imagined feeling this way ever again, for anyone. I eventually gave up trying to figure it out and took off down the street. I decided to stop and grab some groceries before heading home. As I pulled up to my driveway I noticed for the second time today, someone was sitting on my doorstep. I was very tempted to continue driving when I noticed who it was. It was Josh.
I stepped out of the car and collected my groceries from the back seat and made my way up to the door.
"Hi." Josh said obviously uncomfortable.
"Hi." I returned not really looking at him while trying to open my door.
"Look...I know this is a bit odd but I...you need to know something." I stopped and turned around.
"What's that?" I said not showing much interest.
He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. "I didn't know about you and James."
"Huh?" I asked confused.
"I...I didn't know about you and James. I had no idea he was seeing someone." Some tears began to form.
"Look...I'm not sure where this is heading, but I'm really not up for it." I snapped turning towards the door again.
"I understand. I just wanted you to know that I didn't know and that if I had, maybe things would have been different." he began to walk towards his card on the road.
I turned around, "Wait."
Josh stopped and turned to look at me while wiping away his tears.
"No regrets." I said. Now it was his turn to feel confused.
"You can't regret what happened. If you do, then what was it worth? He chose you for a reason. I don't know the reasons, but he did. What sort of happiness do you hope to achieve if you regret the past? I've learned the hard way that life works in mysterious ways. Never expect anything and never underestimate the unexpected."
He nodded in understanding. I smiled and gave him a quick wink before turning and opening my door. I heard him get into his car and drive off.
I continued to smile as I put away my groceries. I wasn't sure why entirely, but I was in a very good mood. Maybe I felt better knowing that I could ease some sort of pain that Josh had been feeling. Something that I had felt before. The phone interrupted my train of thought.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hi Rick." it was Kevin.
"Hey sweetie!" I smiled.
"We need to talk about something.." something didn't sound right.
"Wait..let me come to you, this sounds pretty important." I said as my heart pounded.
"I'm not at the hotel." he said. My heart sank.
"Well...where are you? Kevin you're starting to scare me." I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep it hidden well so I just decided to tell him.
"I'm on a plane. On my way to Orlando." he said hesitently.
"What? Why??" I asked completely confused but still very scared.
"When I got back this afternoon the boys were waiting. We are apparently starting the promotional tour for the new album early. Look I'm so sorry. I didn't know this was going to happen.." he sounded like he was on the verge of crying.
"So..so what does this mean fo...what does this mean then?" I asked taking in a huge breath. I was not prepared for this at all. I mean I understood that he was a celebrity, but to just up and leave like that? Especially NOW, when things seemed so perfect. There. That's exactly what it was. Too perfect. Kevin's voice snapped me back to reality.
"I'm so sorry. I'm going to be on the next plane back immediately after the first interview. I promise." he said sternly. I didn't answer.
"Rick?" he asked.
"I'm here." I said emotionless.
"Sweetie I didn't know this was going to happen, please don't be angry with me. I tried to reschedule so we'd have time to talk about it but management refused. They said it HAD to be tomorrow." he said sounding very upset.
"I'm not mad at you Kevin. Hey listen, I've got groceries sitting out on the counter, give me a call when you land." I was obviously lying since I had already put the groceries away.
"Ok..I'm really sorry Rick. I will call you the minute we land." he said nearing tears again.
"Ok." I said as I hung up. I just sat in the chair by the phone. Lifeless. I didn't want to move or speak or even cry. I just sat there with a blank face.
After a good 20 minutes I stood up and went upstairs to take a shower. I wasn't really thinking of anything. My mind was pretty much blank. As I started to run the water, I heard something in my head. Crystal clear as if someone was standing behind me.
"Never expect anything, and never underestimate the unexpected."
Those words cut like a knife. I began to feel the tears and I stepped into the shower. The water was hot and soothing.
I stood under the hot water for several minutes before soaping myself up. I finished my shower and dried off. The phone was ringing. I ran to the phone in the bedroom and noticed it was Kevin's cell phone # on the display. I reached out to answer it but stopped. It rang a few more times and the answering machine picked up.
"You have reached Rick. Unfortunately I can't make it to the phone right now, but if you'd like to leave me a messege, I'll be sure to get back to you." There was a short beep.
"Hey Rick, it's Kevin. We just landed and I'm calling like I said I would. I...I guess I'll try calling you later." I could hear the hurting in his voice. He hung up.
There was a reason I didn't pick up the phone. This just wasn't going to work. I was beginning to experience very strong feelings for Kevin and just when I was starting to feel comfortable with them, he had to leave. I wasn't sure if I could live like that. I lied down on the bed and softly began to weep.
** 2 hours later*
I must have fallen asleep because I awoke to the ringing of the phone. It was Heather.
"Hello?" I said in a horrible tone.
"Sleeping huh?" she said.
"Yeah...what's up?" I asked.
"Well. AJ just called me. Told me what had happened." she said cautiously.
"Oh. I see." I replied.
"That's it? Kevin is a mess. He's been in arguing with management for over 2 hours and he's apparently very upset." she said concerned.
"I'm sure he'll be fine Heather." I said rather coldly.
"You can't honestly be mad at him Rick. It wasn't his choice. AJ didn't know either. These things are expected." she said as those words rang even more true since I had spoken about the expected earlier to Josh.
"I...I'm not mad at him Heather. I'm just not sure if I can do this. I was just starting to feel like this was right.
That maybe it was my chance to get what I deserved." I said my voice shaking.
"And who said it wasn't?" she said rather annoyed.
"Look what happened. He had to leave." I said the tears began to stream down my face.
"So? It's not like he's never coming back. It's not like that was it for him. I mean that's perfectly obvious isn't it? Do you think he did this on purpose?" she asked sounding a little more angry then annoyed.
"I don't know what to think Heather." I said in a small voice.
She let out a huge sigh. "It's time to grow up Rick. It's time to take some responsibility. You have the perfect chance for something good, and you're willing to throw it all away over something so trivial."
She was right. But what was I suppose to do? Pretend like I was ok with this? Like this isn't going to bother me the next time it happens, or the time after that?
"Rick.." she started snapping out of my thoughts, "Call him."
I nodded and I think she knew because she hung up.
I pushed the button down on the receiver and let go. The dial tone sounded so distant. I began to dial Kevin's cell phone #.
It rang 3 times before he answered.
"Rick??" he asked eagerly.
"Yes.." I said softly.
"Oh thank god. I tried calling as soon as we landed but there wa.." I cut him off.
"I know I was in the shower. Then I fell asleep. Sorry." I said comfortingly.
"Oh ok. Look Rick I'm really sorry. I can't believe this is happening. I was so looking forward to spending time with you that I completely blocked out my responsibilities. Please don't be mad at me." he said again with concern in his voice.
"I'm not mad at you. In fact, I'm kind of glad this happened." I said.
"Wh...what do you mean?" he asked very concerned.
"I mean, it's allowed me to open my eyes a little bit. I wasn't sure if I was prepared to do this. Things seemed so perfect. When you called earlier to tell me that you were gone I thought it was a sign that this wasn't meant to be." I stopped for a second.
"Please don't think that Rick.." he started to say but I cut him off again.
"I don't Kevin. It's just made me realize that I'm going to have to put the effort in. Fate's done her job. Now it's up to me to take over. And Kevin, I don't want to never know what it's like to wake up beside you. I don't want to never know what it's like make love to you or to kiss you every day."
Kevin sighed, "I feel the same Rick. I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. I was so afraid that this was nothing to you."
"It's everything to me Kevin. We've got a lot of work to do. But I'm totally prepared. Where do we go from here?" I asked in a serious tone.
"I'm going to be there day after tomorrow. The interview is tomorrow then I'm on the next flight back. We can talk then. Face to face." he said matter-of-factly.
"Ok. I will see you then. Goodnight Kevin." I said in a soft soothing tone.
"Goodnight Rick." he replied and we hung up.
So that went rather well. It's been a while since I've been able to write for this story. I'm glad I was able to start again. As you can see, I've got a lot into it. I've thought about several times over the past 2 years. I just haven't had the time to get back into it. I'd be glad to see some thought's/ideas/comments/suggestions/and even tasteful criticism if you have the time (Just don't ask for me to implement more sex scenes. I stand firmly on that subject.).
I'm available via: gussie@purplewire.org