Love Is Where You Find It Chapter Ten
The moment the door was closed, Carl leaned into me in an attempt to kiss me, but I turned my face. He managed to brush my cheek.
"Talk," I said, "before I go crazy. You're supposed to be dead."
"I know," he said. "When I read in the paper that the body in the wreck was identified as me, I decided to leave it that way. I owe a fortune of money in Florida and California. I figured that if I stayed dead, I could create a new identity, and rebuild my life." He started to cry. "You know I'm not a bad person," he said. "It was the drugs."
"But who the hell was in the car with all my stuff?" I demanded to know.
"After you and Brad went to work, I searched your apartment for drug money. I found $50 in a drawer and I called a dealer I knew. I lied when I said I was clean."
"I knew it. You didn't look clean to me," I interjected.
"I'm afraid I wasn't too neat searching for money. I made a mess and I am sorry for that. When the dealer arrived, he took the money and reached into his pocket. I thought he was reaching for drugs, but he pulled out a gun and pistol whipped me. I passed out, and when I came to, the apartment was a bigger mess than I had left it. I looked around and saw that he had taken all your clothes and some of the contents of your home.
"I ran to get the car keys to get away. I wanted to run as far away from you as I could because I was so ashamed. Of course, the car keys were gone. I snatched the house keys, locked up and just started running. I had no idea where I was going. The body in the car must have been the dealer."
"Where did you go? What did you do?" I asked.
I stayed at a homeless shelter where I had no access to drugs, and I got clean and sober with a great deal of pain and effort. The people at the shelter gave me some clean clothes and I got a job in a greasy spoon waiting on tables. It was a beginning. I'm working for a good restaurant now in The Castro and I have my own studio apartment."
"Why didn't you contact us?"
"I wanted my debtors to think I was dead, so I waited a year. Out of sight, out of mind. In the meantime, I got a new social security card using the name John Smith. You'd be surprised how easy it is. I'm almost my old self. I swear."
He stopped talking and after awhile I asked, "So what do you want from me? Brad and I are committed to each other. I love him with all my heart and soul."
"I don't want to be your lover. I've met someone who loves me and I love him. I just want to be in your life and prove that I have changed. I can be as good a friend as you once thought I was. I did care for you. I swear."
"Once I thought of you as a lover, never just a friend," I commented. "You ruined that love with greed, drugs, and lies. Speaking of lies is Jorge still alive."
"Who knows? He was heavily addicted and he left me when I ran out of money. His addiction was my fault too. I can't make amends to him, but please let me try making amends to you and Brad."
"Brad would never trust you. I don't think I can either, but I'll talk to him and get back to you. If he doesn't want to give you another chance, please don't contact me again. Give me your telephone number and I'll call you in a couple of days, one way or the other. Now please get out of here. I've got work to do."
Carl looked crest fallen but he gave me his number and left without another word.
We had furnished the third bedroom as an office for Brad, but of course I used it when I needed to as well. The computer was in that room. After dinner I went to the computer to do a lesson on line. Brad had brought work home from the office and he settled down at his desk. After about an hour and a half, we were both winding down so I said to Brad, "Something crazy happened today. I need to discuss it with you."
"Sure," he said. We wrapped up our work and went into the living room. I hardly knew how to start so I took a deep breath and plunged right in. Brad sat facing me with his jaw dropped in disbelief. To his credit, he did not interrupt me even once.
When I finished there was a long silence. Finally Brad said, "Not in a trillion years would I let him back into our lives. He's a no good skunk and that's all there is to it. He might have fooled you, but I don't trust him."
Very quietly I said, "I know how you feel and you are right, but I saw him. He's healthy and he has a good job. He doesn't want to come between us. He just wants our friendship. He told me that he has a lover. What he needs are friends, even one good friend. Do you doubt my commitment to you?"
"Of course not, love. What I doubt is his sincerity."
"He doesn't know where we live, although he could easily find out. Suppose we have dinner where he works and we can talk to him there. At least give him a chance for my sake, and for old time's sake. If you still say no after that, I'll respect your wishes and tell him to get lost."
"I can never say no to you," Brad said as he threw his arms around me. Call him and set up something for Friday evening."
Carl, or I should say, John, was very emotional when I called him and I thought I heard a sob. Friday was agreed upon.
Brad and I kissed passionately and he asked, "Do you think you can make love to me tonight without fantasizing that I'm him?" Brad was obviously still jealous.
"Of course I can," I answered him. "It's easy. His cock is twice as big as yours. I could never get them mixed up." Brad slapped me on my rear as he chased me to the bedroom.
Brad's jealously worked in my favor. On special occasions, when we had something to celebrate, one of us would remain passive and the other would do all the love making. Brad was determined to make love to me tonight so that no other body could take his place or enter my mind.
His feather like tongue found every inch of my body. He rimmed me until I was clutching the sheets in ecstasy. When he exhausted every other inch of me, he concentrated on my cock. He teased me for what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes. He prevented me from cumming and I wanted to scream. Finally, he lubed my cock and his ass and he sat down on me pushing my cock into his slimy ass. I came after only a couple of strokes.
When we lay side by side, trying to get our breaths back, Brad said, "I'll bet the druggie can't do that for you."
"Even if he could, and I doubt it, it will always be better with you," I said. I leaned over and kissed Brad before we fell into a deep and contented sleep.
Brad did something behind my back, but I couldn't fault him. He called our dads and told them about John Smith. He asked them to please join us for dinner and give us their objective opinion about the change or lack of change in Carl.
When the four of us entered the restaurant, John Smith was taking an order. He looked up, and when he saw that there were four of us, I could see the look of surprise on his face. We requested to be seated at John's station, and the host was happy to oblige.
When John came over to our table, he had a pitcher of water in his hand and after he filled our glasses, he asked if we would like a drink before dinner. We all ordered wine and he started to leave. I grabbed his arm and said, "Hold it a minute, Ca...John." I extended my hand and he shook it. "You know Brad," I said. He held his hand out to Brad who ignored it. "This is Larry and this is Chuck," I said. Larry and Chuck are our dads." John looked surprised. They both shook his hand, and he left to place our orders.
After he served the wine, John took our dinner orders. He was very busy and we didn't see him again until he served dinner along with fresh rolls.
"I spoke to my boss," he said. "I told him that you guys were very old friends and he said that when you were finished with dinner, I could take a few minutes off to talk to you."
"Terrific!" I said.
By the time we finished dinner, the restaurant had cleared out considerably. I had the feeling that John had served us slowly so that we would be virtually alone in the restaurant. As we were drinking our coffees, he pulled up a chair and sat down with us. There was a very awkward silence and finally John said, "Explain how Chuck and Larry are your dads, Aaron. It looks like you have a new family. I sure wish I had a dad who wouldn't toss me out of the house."
That did it. As he said that, I could see a look of pity cross Larry's face and he laid his hand on Chuck's. I declined to mention that Larry was my banker. I merely said, "Chuck and Larry are our neighbors and they have adopted us."
"That's great," he said. "Look guys, I am not looking to disrupt anyone's life or to intrude. It's just that Aaron and I were good friends once, and I fucked up that friendship as royally as anyone can. All I'm asking is a chance to prove my sobriety and ask for your friendship. I'm going through hell right now trying to stay sober and rebuild my life, and I sure could use some friends."
Brad was the first to speak. "How do we know we can trust you? How do we know that the guy in the car wasn't your partner in crime, and you were just lucky enough to jump out of the car before it tumbled over the guard rail? You have lied so many times before, how can we believe you this time?"
"Just before I sat down at the table," John said, "I made a phone call. He'll be here soon and he'll try to vouch for me."
"Who is it?" Brad asked. "How can we trust him?" Just then a tall, distinguished looking man approached our table. John jumped up and squeezed in another chair. We all recognized the newcomer immediately and stood to greet him with a handshake and a peck on the cheek. It was Reverend Clinton Haynes, the pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church, which we all attended. If he was going to vouch for John, we had to listen. Reverend Clint began a narrative.
"Soon after he stopped using drugs, John came to me and told me his entire story. Aaron it was difficult for me to shake your hand every Sunday and keep my mouth shut. I agreed to see John whenever he felt his resolve weakening. Over the past year, his counseling visits have decreased, but his social visits have increased. My dear friends, John and I have fallen in love. I am going to announce our commitment from the pulpit next Sunday morning."
Everyone was stunned. I sure didn't know what to say. I looked at my pastor. He was damned good looking, but he was in his forties, at least twenty years older than John. In my head, I could hear Larry admonishing me some time ago. "Age is just a number, young man. I bet that Chuck and I have a sex life as active as yours." While I was sitting there in a stupor, not knowing what to do or say, my dads jumped up and embraced their friend and pastor and wished him every happiness. Then they embraced John.
What happened next shocked us all. Brad stood up and threw his arms around John. In a loud and clear voice, so that everyone could hear, he said, "Welcome back to the living, John Smith!!!" I grabbed Brad and kissed him.
"Thank you, darling. I love you," I whispered in his ear.
"Listen up everyone," Larry announced. "Next Sunday after church I want you all to come to our house for a celebration brunch. What do you say?" Everyone agreed.
"How come we haven't seen you in church, John?" I asked
"Clint and I agreed that I should stay hidden until I was ready to face you. Actually I was in the church every Sunday, sitting all alone in the rear of the balcony. I just never went to the social hall after services. I needed Clint and I needed God. I couldn't stay away."
At that point it became hard to say goodnight, but after much hugging and kissing, we parted our ways. Only John stayed behind to finish his shift, help clean up and close the restaurant.
The service that Sunday morning was a joyous celebration of love. Reverend Haynes made his announcement, which was followed by cheering and applause. He asked John to come up to the pulpit where they kissed amidst more applause. Brad kissed me and Larry kissed Chuck and we all had a tear or two running down our cheeks.
The four of us rushed out of church to get things set up for the barbeque at our dads' house. Our dads also invited our neighbors on both sides. Jeanne and Betty were about the same age as our dads, as was the gay couple, Ken and Fred. To our knowledge neither of these couples attended our church, or any church for that matter.
By the time everyone arrived, we had the coals burning red hot. We had set up two picnic tables with sodas, potato salad, cole slaw, hot dog and hamburger rolls, paper plates and plastic utensils. We also had a few beers in the kitchen refrigerator, just in case. It was a simple party, but I just knew it would be a festive one.
Chuck and Larry were perfect hosts. They introduced everyone and in no time everyone was talking to everyone else. The highlights of the afternoon were:
John begged Brad and me one more time for forgiveness. He was so contrite and we had just come from church. How could we not forgive our pastor's partner?
The second highlight: Jeanne, Betty, Ken and Fred were so charmed by Clint that they all said that he would see them in church next Sunday to `check it out.' As Fred put it, "You are certainly not the typical pastor I grew up with. In my case, you aren't even the typical Rabbi either." That gave us all a good laugh.
I asked John, "When are you two guys moving in together?"
"I work evenings so we decided to start moving some of my stuff over to Clint's each morning. We'll do it slowly a little at a time, but FYI, we are sleeping together every night. God knows, I truly have found out what true love feels like and I don't have to envy you and Brad any more." That called for a major hug.
The afternoon was a total success. We formed even closer bonds to our neighbors, to our dads, to our pastor and to the newly born, John Smith. As we began to bond closer with our neighbors, we began to socialize more. The six of us had dinner together at one of our houses at least once a month.
Thanks to Reverend Clint the others began to attend church most every Sunday morning, and after services we went to brunch together. More often than not, Clint and John joined us. A word about John: Every time I saw him, I could see that he was noticeably improving in health. His cheeks were rosy and his frame was filling out. He no longer looked like a walking skeleton. Obviously he was working out. His muscles were enviable. Once, I delicately asked him about his impotence and he started to laugh.
"When I kicked the habit, I kicked the meds. I assure you I make Clint very happy in that department."
As idyllic as everything seemed, I kept waiting for John to fuck up in some way and disappoint us all. I was so expecting it to happen that I think I would have been disappointed if he didn't fuck up. Listen to me. I would be disappointed whether he fucked up or whether he didn't. I was acting crazy enough to wonder if my aneurism had recurred.
I didn't have to wait long for the shoe to drop.
Brad was scheduled to sit for the CPA exams at the end of the month. It is a grueling three day exam given on a Wednesday through a Friday. In order to avoid all diversions, we agreed that Brad would check into a downtown hotel on Tuesday afternoon and check out on Friday. We agreed to talk to each other briefly for a few minutes each evening that we were apart, but Brad was to concentrate solely on the exams. All of our friends were aware of our plans and agreed not to call us during the exam period..
What we were unaware of, was that Clint was going away on a three day retreat at the same time as Brad's exams. John and I would be without our partners for three days, but in all fairness to me, I knew nothing about the retreat.
John usually got home from work about 11 PM after the restaurant closed. I usually went to bed no later than 10 PM because I awoke at 4:30 AM. I had gone to bed about 9:30 PM on the first night Brad was away. I called his hotel room. Of course, he was studying hard. I told him how much I loved him and wished him well. I wasn't able to fall asleep that night because I wasn't used to sleeping alone, so I decided to watch the ten o'clock news for awhile.
At about 10:35 the door bell rang and it was persistent. It sounded like someone was leaning on the bell. I ran down stairs wearing only the sexy boxers Larry had bought for me after the drug dealer had stolen all my clothes. I opened the door, and there stood John grinning at me sheepishly.
"You look as sexy as ever in those shorts," he said to me. I was too shocked to say anything. He pushed past me and closed the door. Then he grabbed me and began to kiss me. I started to resist, but old memories came back and after a few seconds I began to respond to his kisses.
Finally I pulled away and asked him, "Isn't Clint expecting you?"
"Nah! He's on a retreat," he told me, "and I am one horny son of a gun."
"Please leave," I begged.
"You know you don't want me to leave," he answered me.
"You told me that you were HIV positive," I won't risk it.
John, nee Carl, started to laugh. That's when I was looking for sympathy from you and Brad. I was lying. I'm clean as a whistle. Ask Clint."
"Don't you love him?" I asked.
"Of course I love him. Remember I told you that love was a commitment but sex was for fun. I'm here to have some fun."
He encircled me with his powerful arms and resumed kissing me. He rubbed his massive rod against my already stiff cock, and all my reserves melted.
"Yes, let's have fun," I said as I led him into the bedroom.
To be continued.......