Love that Dare Not Speak its Name, Chapter 14
When their last final of the fall term was over, the college boys headed home. They were able close up the house despite the fact that the public school's term ran a few days longer than theirs. Ryan was going to be staying with Michael until his flight to California. The two of them were looking forward to sharing Michael's bed but not the long separation. Having a few nights sleeping together before being parted over the holidays would hopefully make their separation easier to bear.
Larry's company was quickly rebuilding the back porch on Len's house so that it would be done before the winter holidays. The insurance company had balked about having repairs done before getting more than one bid, so Len had called another company which he knew would charge more so that Larry would be adequately compensated. Larry's bid was considerably lower and he still made money on the project. He'd have done it for cost just to have the memory of the fire erased as much as possible.
Len decorated his house early so that it would look festive when his children and his "surrogate sons" came home for Christmas break. He was determined to fill the place with enough cheer to obliterate the memories of his ex-wife's criminal behavior at Thanksgiving time. Staying busy was good for his emotional wellbeing too.
He planned to host Christmas dinner for a larger group than usual. Not only would Beau's family be present, but he'd invited Aaron's parents as well. Since Molly and Aaron were planning to wed in the summer, he felt he should get everyone together for the holiday.
Len's bedrooms would be filled with his "foster" sons, his own children, and Beau, so Beau's parents were playing host to Aaron and his family. Jen had already "adopted" Aaron as well as Molly. She would help with wedding-planning as if Molly were her daughter. Of course, she wouldn't try to run the show as some brides' mothers do.
The sleeping arrangements would allow the two ladies opportunity to aid the young couple in booking the church and reception facilities while they were all under the same roof.
For Christmas dinner, Len made his usual prime rib and Yorkshire pudding. He'd found a new recipe for the latter which was made in muffin tins so each piece would have more crust. He borrowed pans from Jen so he'd have enough to make four dozen at the same time. With 12 people for the meal, he figured he needed to make at least three per person and enough extras in case the boys wanted more. With the other sides he had planned, he felt that was sufficient.
Jen insisted on bringing desserts, and that was welcome. He would have his hands full with the main course. Back when Janice had the kitchen remodeled, he hadn't seen the need for two ovens, one electric and the other gas. He'd gone along with it to please her. Now, he was glad that he had.
It did remind him of her, and the memories were always bittersweet. He'd been head over heels in love when they were first married. He had always tried to be a considerate mate and he couldn't help but wonder what had happened to change her. It was like she'd had a mental breakdown. Was he to blame? Was it the church she'd gotten hooked up with? He supposed that he never would know.
Dinner came off perfectly. Aaron's parents, Mary and Bud Sheldon, were good company and there was never any awkwardness interacting with the extended family. Their values were very close to everyone else's, so conversations about politics or religion weren't like tiptoeing through a minefield. The match between their son with Len's daughter seemed as if it had been made in heaven.
After dinner, the younger members of the extended family were surprised to see stockings with their names on them hanging from the mantle. Molly and Cy had had theirs since they were small children. Along with those two, there were similar stockings with the names of Beau, Chet, Derek, and Aaron which Len had commissioned from the lady who made the original ones. Aaron was especially moved that he'd been included.
Len invited them to check to see what Santa had left. Each stocking contained a pomegranate, three kumquats, and two "cuties" along with some dark chocolate Dove candies in red foil wrappers. It was similar to what had been in Molly's and Cy's stockings back before they were teens and stopped believing in the jolly old elf. Those things brought back memories of a more innocent time. Underneath the goodies was a crisp $50 bill. Len was in a generous mood and, as noted, wanted this to be a special Christmas.
All the young people were appreciative and thanked him profusely.
The following day, the ladies convened at the Stephen's home to make plans for the June nuptials. Aaron was included in the group because Molly wanted to have his input. For her, equality was a two-way street. Couples should work together as a team in making decisions which affected them. That boded well for a harmonious future.
Len had said that he would agree to whatever the couple wanted, as long as it didn't put him in the poor-house. He trusted that his daughter wouldn't overspend. He knew her to be a thrifty person.
By the end of the day, they had booked the church and minister as well as the reception hall. Tomorrow, they planned to hire the caterer and secure the florist and a photographer. Aaron and Molly had friends who were good singers who had already blocked out the date on their calendars.
Molly still had to pick out a dress and choose invitations, but those would get taken care of in the coming months. The essential details were settled.
Back in Ames, Michael had tried to keep up a cheerful appearance despite being separated from his boyfriend for Christmas. His parents were aware that Ryan's absence made him sad. They also had sensed an undercurrent of tension earlier in the relationship, though the subject had never been broached.
Tom and Marjory had tried to keep out of his affairs of the heart, knowing that he would ultimately have to make his own decisions. She remembered from an adolescent psychology course she took in college that teens can be resentful when their parents interfere in their personal relationships. Some become rebellious and sullen. Normally, Michael wasn't given to such behaviors, but it was possible he could change if he felt like Tom and she were attempting to micromanage his life.
On Christmas Eve, a bit before 10:00 PM, Marjory sat for a few minutes at the kitchen table with Michael just to chat. Liam was in his room listening to his favorite music and Tom was in the shower, so it was just the two of them having a cookie and eggnog.
"Are you feeling okay, Honey," she asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"But you miss Ryan a lot, don't you?"
"Does it show?"
"To a mother it does. I know how difficult it is being away from a person who's special to you over the holidays. Your father and I were apart one Christmas when a big storm grounded all flights in the Midwest. We had recently become engaged, and I didn't get much sleep until he returned home safely."
"But you were older and practically married. I'm sure no one believes Ryan and I are that close. I don't have a right to go around moping."
"Yes, you do! A person doesn't have to be of a certain age to bond with someone else. Your love may not be as strong now as it will be in the future, but that doesn't mean you're not soulmates. You've known one another far longer than your dad and I did before we got engaged. You've grown up together. You have a perfect right to miss him."
"Thanks, Mom! I'm glad you understand."
"I have something that I think might help. And, no, I'm not going to put a shot of rum in your eggnog. Have you two been keeping in touch?"
"Yeah, we've emailed several times."
"Since it's still early evening on the West Coast, why don't you take the cordless phone into your room and call him? Hearing his voice will bring him closer."
"Long distance is pretty pricey, isn't it?"
"It's not as expensive as it was when I was your age. Take the timer along and limit it to 15 or 20 minutes. That's not going to cost a fortune and I think you'll sleep better."
"Thanks, Mom! I love you."
"Merry Christmas, Son."
Hearing each other's voice put both Michael and Ryan in a good mood. Ryan had some great news. His pleading to return to Iowa early had paid off, and his father was going to exchange his return ticket for a flight on December 29th. It was a slower travel day and the airlines would be giving a partial refund because the 31st would be busier and more seats would be needed then. The change would give the boys two extra days of vacation to spend together.
Both of them slept better that night.
On December 29th, Michael drove to Des Moines International alone to meet Ryan's plane. Tom didn't really have the time to do it. Marjory could have worked it into her schedule, but she felt it was a good opportunity for Michael to feel independent. He was an excellent driver, plus he'd been to the airport several times in the past, so he could easily make the trip without getting lost.
Michael arrived 20 minutes ahead of the flight's ETA and parked in the short-term lot. It was good that he hadn't timed it down to the last minute because the flight was 15 minutes early. He didn't have long to wait before he saw Ryan heading his way. The two embraced, pounding each other on the back as straight males often do.
"If I dared, I'd kiss you!" Michael exclaimed.
"Let's dare," Ryan grinned before kissing his boyfriend on the lips.
"Wow! How come you're so brave?"
"I've thought about you every waking moment and I've decided that I'm not going to live in fear. You mean everything to me. I want the world to know I'm yours."
As they walked toward the baggage carousels, hand in hand, they were approached by two adult males probably in their late 20's.
"Thanks for leading the way," the taller one said as he raised his left hand to show it was holding the other man's right one. "We're tired of living in the shadows. In a few years it will be a new millennium and I predict new freedoms will come with it."
The college boys in the extended family didn't have a lot on their plates during the break. Larry Stephen did employ them for two days on a building project which he needed to keep moving. He'd given his crew a bit more time off during the holidays to be with their families. By using his son and buddies to fill in, he could still make the deadline for finishing. Aaron worked with them. He wanted to show them that he was capable of doing physical labor as well as excel academically.
Paul and Kyle came on December 31st to see the new year in. Since Len was going with Larry and Jen to celebrate at a hotel in Cedar Rapids and Molly and Aaron were going to his folk's home, the boys would have the place to themselves.
Jen had introduced Len to a teacher friend who had been widowed for a little over a year. She thought the two might be good company for each other whether the relationship ever went any further than being friends.
As was their tradition, the six college buddies spent New Year's Eve playing games, eating relatively healthy snacks, and not overindulging in alcohol. They didn't stay up much past midnight because they had plans with their boyfriends after the lights were out.
On New Year's Day, the college guys drove back to Ames. Though their new term didn't begin until a couple of days later, they wanted to be back in their house to get settled, and they also did it for Ryan because public school would begin on January 2nd. Ryan was happy to see them, even happier when they said he was welcome to have Michael sleep over. Despite the fact that Michael's family members were accepting, the high school boys always felt freer in the company of other gay males.
During the second term of their sophomore year, the college guys began to firm up the direction their majors would take. Beau and Cy were planning to get a degree in electrical engineering because the field was flexible, but they would be taking computer classes to strengthen their knowledge in that area and were also working as trouble-shooters for the university. They were available in the computer lab to help students navigate the systems and they also ran programs to clear up any glitches whether caused by user error or by malicious software programs.
A part of their responsibilities was to help professors who couldn't get their computers to function properly. Frequently, the older teachers would forget to turn on the monitor of their devices and were sure something was wrong with the equipment. To help them save face, the guys would mess around with the connections and surreptitiously turn on the switch while doing so. Then, they'd type in a few letters and erase them when done. They would report it to their supervisor as an "Id10t" (code for idiot) error which let him know there was nothing wrong with the hardware or software.
Chet and Derek kept on with their original major in agriculture. However, they also took computer classes as electives because their professors told them that farming was destined to depend more and more on computer programing with new machinery which would have more artificial intelligence and require less human interaction in the future. If they were going to be Len's right-hand men, they needed to keep up with the times.
Paul took whatever electives he could which would tie in with his pursuit of a degree in counseling. The more he got into it, the more satisfied he was with his decision.
Kyle was set on continuing his degree in design. Like the others, he realized that computers were the wave of the future and he was beginning to use them more than traditional pencils and paper for giving form to his ideas. He felt that some things benefitted from being represented by three-dimensional models, so he wasn't giving up old methods completely.
For Michael and Ryan, this was the last term of their high school career. They had already been accepted to Iowa State University for the next year and had been promised a room in one of the dorms together. While it might have been fun to stay in the house with their six college buds, they felt that living in the dorm for at least one year would be of value in their college experience. Their parents all agreed with their decision.
The two decided to make the most of their last year in public school. In doing so, they signed up for track in the spring. While they didn't expect to be stars, they thought they would enjoy being part of the team. The camaraderie wasn't the only benefit. By participating in the sport, they wouldn't have to take a PE class. That lightened their schedules and might even allow them to get part-time jobs at a grocery store. Ryan felt it was good to have employment so that he could make a case for staying in Iowa most of the summer instead of being in California with his family. It wasn't that he didn't love them; his experience over Christmas break had made him realize how much he would miss Michael.
With the final semester of their senior year came activities such as prom which carried with them the expectations of having a date. That prospect didn't appeal to either of them.
Their mothers both felt that the boys might someday regret it if they didn't participate in the tradition. They thought the boys might ask girls who wouldn't be looking for a relationship, so they wouldn't be hurt that it would be a onetime affair.
"But Mom," Michael said when she broached the idea, "why should we spend money on an evening that has no future for us? We know we're not going to have wives."
"It's still like a rite of passage," Marjory said.
Michael's father put in his two-cent's worth.
"Marjory, I don't usually disagree with you where are children are concerned, but I think I should this time. From a guy's standpoint, prom isn't all that big a deal. What I remember is that it rained that night and we got wet despite the umbrella. Our meal was over-price and the waiter didn't like serving teenagers, so he stalled around and our food wasn't hot when we got it. We had waited so long for it that we didn't send it back. I do remember leaving a penny in tip so he'd know I hadn't forgotten!
"What topped it off was that the girl I'd dated most of my senior year dropped me the following week. Of course, that was a good thing in the long run because I met you in college! But prom holds no special memories."
"I see your point, Tom. I'm not going to push these guys to go."
On the night when many of their classmates were attending the big dance, Michael and Ryan drove down to Des Moines and had dinner at Johnny's Italian Steak House near the airport. The food was excellent. Their meals cost less than the price of renting a limo, and the service was tops. They left a sizeable tip so show their appreciation.
Back at the place where Ryan was living, his housemates had decorated the basement family room with a string of clear Christmas lights, a few candles, and some spring flowers. They left a selection of CD's with dance music for the stereo. On the coffee table were some snacks and soft drinks.
Ryan and Michael took advantage of the offerings. The short-napped carpet on the floor wasn't the best for dancing, but that didn't matter. Mostly, they pressed their bodies together and swayed to the rhythm. They took some breaks, nibbling on the treats and finally settled down to nibbling on each other. By 10:00, they were upstairs naked in Ryan's bed. About an hour later, they were drifting to sleep, having shared a memorable night.
Author's notes: A special thanks to everyone who emailed since last posting. I appreciate hearing from you - Ott H, Tony C, Don S, Mendy D, Frank K, Jim W, Geoff (2), Gordon, Bill T, Allen, Andy R, Ken McC, JLF, Brad W, Paul R, Wayne W, and Rick B. I know I told a couple of you that I'd list you first this time, but after the failed email to Nifty, I got you on the last one after all.
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Thanks, David
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