Love You Hate You Get Lost

By Rosey Kirkbasserlake

Published on Jan 12, 2001

Gay

Note: Hi agian! Sorry its been SO LONG since I last posted any story, but you know how things go.. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how in the hell to start this damn chapter!

Well, starts crying here it is!! wipes eyes and here is the rest of the note

Disclaimer: me no nsync. me no kno nsync. me no bsb. me no know bsb. me not know if dey straight. gay, bi sexual, or into animals. me no say they are.

Acknowledgements : (DID i finally spell that right?) Piper: By god, this girl can write! (Who Do You Love,

Chris and Joey's Role Played Rapture) Damnit, go read her stories!!! Now!!

To Nick, Lance, Joey, Dezi, Carrie, Brian, Kevin, AND ESPICALLY Chris and Howie : whimpers don't hurt me no more!!!

Okay anyways, if you wanna see something related to this, go to http://www.virtue.nu/oldnewskool thats my site., you'll find a lot of stories like this, and almost all of them written by me.

Peace, Love, and OH MY GOD HOW OLD IS THIS CHEESE?

---Rosey K

After five weary, bag dragging trips through the freezing snow, carrying anywhere from two to five bags each, (After the second trip my legs had said "Ha-Ha- Where the fuck you think you're going Fatone? In the snow? Agian? Hah-Hah No.Then I had been the offical door opener.) we finally had everything in. After putting away the spoilables (Milk, bread, Cheese, Eggs, Poronogrpahy.... I wish I wish I wish.) we all sat down. Brian reached inside his coat, and brought out five packs of Camels. He laid them on the table, raising his eyebrow at Nick.

"Gonna get lung cancer that way." I turn to look at Nick, and my legs tell me to go to hell. Such a simple movement. Such pain.

Nick blushes slightly, and reaches for a pack. He tucks it into his shirt pocket, and stares at the ground. This is something he does often.

I stare at the ground too, well actually at my lower legs. I wonder if it would hurt much to just cut them off. I blink, and figure it's the pain talking.

"So.." Kevin says, obviously attempting to start up conversation. I wonder if Nick could cut his legs off, and replace mine with them. Oy, I need my meds. I'm going to start babbling, oh I can feel it rise within me.

Nick glances over at me and frowns. I clap a hand over my mouth to keep from babbling hysterically. Suddenly oh god the pain, Suddenly he pulls my legs up into his lap. I bite down on my hand, oh god. It hurts. It feels so ow wait he's rubbing them? I watch, as he massageses my legs. Praise the boy. Praise him, oh Lord Almighty, thank you for this offering of Nickolaus.

I look over at Brian and Kevin, who are frowning. 'Duh-Duh-Double your pleasure, Double your fun Thaaa-aaats the statement of the great mint in duh-duh-duh-doublemint gum' I think, watching them look at each other at the same time.

"Brian, You remember where I keep my medicine right? Please go get me some of the Rondac? Two please.."

'YES! YES! PRAISE JESUS! THE PILLS!' He keeps rubbing. He's finally hit the spot that hurts the most. I moan, trying to pull away and not wanting to all at the same time. He's hurting me and making me feel better at the same time.

Brian's come back now, and he has the pills and a glass of water. He offers them to Nick, who shakes his head, and nods toward me. Brian gets a 'Oh-Don't-I-Feel-Like-An-Ass' look on his face, and gives them to me. I quickly swallow them and half the glass of water. Nick is still rubbing, and I relax, the pills kicking in.

"So.." Kevin starts agian, pausing.

"Tell us what you've been doing for the past 10 years Joey" Wow, good one. A point for the Bri-Master Oh Boy. High. Yes. Good. I slowly start talking.

"Well... back in two thousan' one.. I got married..." I close my eyes, remembering my wedding day..

She was beautiful. God, I loved her. She looked so beautiful in white. She looked so beautiful coming up the aisle. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

She was 19, her name was Desiree Marie Lindemann. I was in love, Lord I was completley in love with her. We had started out as just friends, but as time progressed, we became closer and closer.

She had felt that we were rushing things a bit, but I didn't. I knew we had to be together.

Desiree and Joey Fatone. We were perfect together. I didn't know what was to happen.

As five years went on, she gave me three children. Beautiful Joseph the Third, Carrie Alana, and Rose Jean. Rose and Carrie were twins, now only 8 years old. Joseph was almost four. My son, my beautiful son, was killed one day by a drunk driver. He was playing in our front yard one day, when a drunk driver swerved to avoid another on coming car.

My baby boy never had a chance. He never got to see his fourth birthday, which was only a few weeks away. Joseph had been my pride and joy. I loved Carrie and Rose, but after seeing my son get killed, and not bein able to help him, broke me.

As most men do, I turned to the bottle. It ruined me more. I was drunk almost all the time. I lost my job as a small time actor, and Desiree had to go to work for us. It's so hard to watch your wife support you and your children, while you sit at home and drink.

I remember, once, Carrie and Rose had tried to stop me. I was passed out, and they had drug all the bottles in the house over to the toilet, and were dumping them out. Some of the bottles were sealed, so Rose, the taller of the two, would smash the rim of the bottle agianst the lid, while Carrie kept an eye out for me.

My girls were beautiful. They still are, and they're smart as a whip. Almost identical, except for one thing.

Rose was going to be tall, like her mother and I were, and Carrie was going to be short. Both had the same, soft brown deer eyes, that always made me melt, and a huge grin when they were happy or up to something. They had matching brown hair, and looked as alike as two peas in a pod. Whatever that meant.

I had woken up, when they were almost through, and hearing glass smash, ran to the bathroom. When I opened the door, and saw Rose dumping out my liqour, I saw red.

"ROSE JEAN FATONE!" I must have startled her, because she turned. At the wrong moment. She had been holding the bottle the wrong way, and when she twisted to see me, her arm dragged across the jagged glass, cutting her wide open.

Carrie saw it first, and screamed, then burst into hysterical sobs. Rose raised up her arm, looking at the cut meat bleeding red. She blinked at me, then her brain registed the pain. She started screaming.

My anger left me, and fatherly instinct took over. I grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around her arm to try and stop the bleeding.

"Carrie Hon, get your shoes on we gotta take Rosey to the hospital" I tried to stay calm. But what I wanted to do was cry because I had caused this. I picked up Rose and hurried to the front door, Carrie followed, sobbing hysterically.

I picked her up in my other arm, grabbed my keys, and hurried out.

After strapping them both in, I revved the engine, and pulled out quickly, hurrying to the nearest hospital. Memories of when I had followed this same route with my son flooded me, and I almost started to cry.

I pulled into the parking lot, turned off the iginiton, and got out, then getting my girls out, and carrying them inside. Rose didn't seem, to be crying much, and had removed the towel to poke at the deep cut. I looked, and nearly gagged when I saw, or thought I saw, a peice of bone.

Carrie on the other hand, was bawling up a storm. I carried them in, and went to the nurses desk. I must have looked horrible and Rose as well, because the nurse behind the desk threw up all over my pants and shoes. 'Lovely day isn't it miss?' I thought, shifting the twins in my arms impatiently. "Could someone fucking HELP ME?" Every so calm, Rose looked up at me. "You said the eff word daddy."

"Yeah. I know." Finally, a nurse lead me into room, and instructed me to put Rose on the table.

Half an hour, a sedative for Carrie, and a phone call to my wife later, Rose walked out of the emergency room with a doctor proudly showing the 26 stiches in her arm.

"Oh my God, Rosey!!" Desiree picked her up quickly, and hugged her, carefully avoiding her arm. I stood up, to thank the doctor.

"Thank you..." I offered my hand to him, He picked it up, and shook it.

"You should actually be thanking her... she was very calm throughout the whole thing.. even.. fascinated by it."

I smiled sickly, and watched my wife cover Rose in sticky kisses. I was so glad I hadn't lost her, like I had Joseph.

Desiree turned to me, face dark with anger.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT" she screamed, clutching Rose to her tightly. I could see her squirming, and wondered if Desiree was going to put her down, or suffocate her.

"You drunk bum! You did this to her! YOU DID!"

"Desiree! I didn't, She broke the bottles, and it cut her!"

"WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THEM?"

"They were taking a nap!"

"Joseph Anthony Fatone..." Oh man, she sounded so pissed, "I'm through with you. Pack your stuff up and leave. Now."

"Desiree, no, Don't c'mon .."

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"You can't take my kids away from me! Not because of one godamned accident!"

"What about Joseph?" Her voice was very cold. She knew I held myself responsible for our son's death. She knew it would strike the right nerve in me. So I left.

I've seen my girls since then, plenty of times. I got joint custody of them in court. But she got everything else. So, not only was I jobless, I was homeless. Lance Bass, one of my best friend in the world, took me in. So, we lived together in Mississippi for a while, me going down to see my kids every other weekend, and bringing them up to visit me every other summer and Christmas.

After a year of living with Lance, he had connfessed to me that he was 'in love' with me. Still trying to get over my recent depression, I told him I loved him also.

In time, my love became a reality.

--Well there it is, hope you liked it! Email me with comments, questions, or just plain "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FANATIC"'s

As always, its LyteFunkayRosey@yahoo.com

--Rosey K


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