My Everything

By slpwriter

Published on Jul 28, 2003

Gay

Hey guys, I'm back!

I'm writing again, but don't expect the chapters to be out soon. I've reached a very difficult area in the story and in order to keep it going, I need to make sure that it makes sense this time around.

Now on with the story.

First of all, let me just say that this is my first time writing any kind of fiction like this.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of total fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexualities of Nick and Drew Lachey or anyone else mentioned in this story.

If you are too young to read this, or if Homosexuality offends you, then please don't continue any further and leave.

NEWSFLASH: To those of you who don't already know, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, in real life, have reconciled and are now husband and wife. I wish them all the best with their marriage and hope they live a long and happy life together.

If you want details about their wedding, check out the 98 Degrees Official Website at www.98degrees.com.

Other 98 Degrees stories I'd like to recommend are.

"Give Me Just One Night" by Unanoche. "69 with Jeff Timmons" by Zachary Scott Pritt "Nick Lachey" by Ken. "98 Degrees Is Hot" by Gay Night "The Reunion" by RinSong. "Loving Nick Lachey" by Jordan "Playing Doctor with 98 Degrees" by Brian

and finally: "This Gift" by Sprout

Now, I"ll let you get on with the story.

Enjoy.

Previously on "My Everything".....

I looked at the letter, wondering when Nick had left it.

I opened it and started reading it.

******************************************************* Dear Sean,

This is one of the hardest letters that I've ever had to write to you. If you want to destroy this letter rather than read it, I wouldn't blame you. But if you haven't destroyed it yet, please read it. You need to know what's going on with me. I couldn't talk to anyone else, so I decided to write to you instead.

I'm such a mess now, more than ever, Sean. I thought I was happy. I thought I had everything that I could ever want: An amazing wife, A beautiful little girl, and a career that I've loved ever since our first debut. I realized this morning that even though I have everything that I could ever want, that something was missing.

And that something, or should I say, someone, is you.

When I walked in on you and Drew, going at it in my room last night, it caught me so off guard. I took a walk to clear my head and then went back to my room later. By then you and Drew were in his room, asleep.

I couldn't sleep at all last night. Every time I would fall asleep, I'd see you and Drew going at it in my dreams and I'd wake up again in a cold sweat.

And when you came to me this morning and wanted to talk, I was so rude to you. And then, when you told me that you and Drew made love last night, I just lost it and accused you of using my brother to get back at me for cheating on you with Matt. And when I kissed you and told you that it was for the last time, that was a lie.

It wasn't until you left the room that I broke down, knowing that you could never love me again and that I'd destroyed any chance we had of becoming friends again.

I still love Jessica very much, but I love you more now than I ever have, and a part of me wishes that I could just take you in my arms and never let you go again. But I know that that can never happen again. The other part of me wants to do what's right and rebuild what I have with Jessica, and to make sure that my daughter, Nikki, grows up in a loving home with two parents under the same roof, who love each other.

One thing that I am sure of is of my love for Nikki. I am willing to do whatever I can to make her happy, even if that means trying to rebuild my relationship with her mother, which I'm unable to do right now. And I can't handle seeing you and Drew together right now, either. I need to take time to sort out my life and once that's done, figure out where I go from there. That's why I'm leaving town.

I don't know where I'm going to go or when I will be back. But just know that there will be a thousand times a day that I'll be thinking of you and that there will be a thousand times a day that I'll be thinking about, what we could be doing together.

Please don't try to find me. And don't show this letter to anyone. I have a feeling that things will get very ugly with me gone and I couldn't bear it if you are blamed for my disappearance.

I wish you all the best with my brother and I hope that you two are very happy. that's all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. And since it can't be me, I can't think of a better guy who deserves love more than Drew. I believe you will be good for him and that you two will work out.

If that is not the case, then I've truly destroyed everything I ever truly cared about. I never meant to hurt anyone, but I had no choice but to leave.

I wish you nothing but the best and I hope I see you again, someday.

All my love,

Nick

******************************************************* When I'd finished reading, I realized that there were wet spots on the paper, which meant that Nick had been crying while he had been writing it. I noticed that I too was crying when I felt the tears on my cheeks.

Nick's letter had really touched me. I was very worried about him. I knew that this letter didn't change anything between us, but that didn't mean that I didn't care. I still cared for Nick a great deal and I realized now that Nick needed my friendship more than ever.

********** CHAPTER 52 **********

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Drew asked, the fear evident in his voice. "What do you meean that Nick isn't in L.A. anymore?"

Drew looked up at Jeff and Danny who were standing before him, and he noticed that they were worried as well about Nick.

"Jessica called me." Mrs. Lachey told him. "She was very upset and wanted to know if we had seen or heard from Nick since he left their house. I told her that we didn't even know that he was back in town, and that we hadn't heard from him since then, either."

"Mom, hold on a second." Drew said, suddenly.

He put his hand over the mouthpiece and pulled the phone away from his ear. He looked up at Jeff and Danny.

"You two, go and get Justin and Kandi and tell them to call the bellmen and have them take our luggage down to load into the limo." Drew instructed them. "Then have them come over here. After I'm finished with this phone call, we are going to the airport immediately."

"We're on it, buddy." Jeff said. "Come on, Danny."

"I'm right behind you, Jeff." Danny replied.

He and Jeff left the room, leaving Drew alone to finish his phone conversation with his mother.

"Ok, Mom, I'm back." Drew said. "Did Jessica mention anything about how Nick was when she saw him?"

"Not much, honey." Mrs. Lachey. "Just that he was not his usual self. You should give Jessica a call on your way to the airport. I'm sure she'd appreciate hearing from you."

"I would rather wait until we're back in Los Angeles first and then we'll deal with it from there." Drew said. "We've got to go now, Mom."

"Alright, sweetie." Mrs. Lachey said. "Take care and be safe. I love you."

"I will." Drew replied back. "And I love you too, Mom. "I'll see you later this evening."

"Ok." She said. "Bye, hon."

Drew hung up the phone, just as someone knocked on the door. He walked over and opened it, revealing Jeff and Danny, standing there, with Justin and Kandi right behind them.

"Ok, you guys, let's head downstairs and get into the limo." Drew said. "We'll talk about what's happened with Nick in there."

The others turned and started walking towards the elevator doors. Drew joined them, after locking his hotel room door. They got into the elevator and rode it down to the lobby.

The guys and Kandi gave Drew their keycards so he could turn them in, since they were checking out of the hotel. They walked out to the limo and got in, waiting for Drew to join them.

After a few minutes, Drew got everything taken care of at the hotel's front desk and soon joined everyone else in the limo.

After giving the driver their destination, Drew pushed the button to close the tinted glass window between them and the driver, to give them some privacy since they had alot to talk about.


BACK AT SEAN'S APARTMENT........

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to wrap around myself. After doing that, I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. That shower had really felt good.

As I sat there, I looked outside at the ocean and watched the waves crashing on the shore. Of course I couldn't watch long or I'd get sleepy eyed.

I unwrapped the towel from my waist, leaving me in the complete nude stage, and towel-dried my hair. After that, I wrapped the towel around my head and let it soak up the rest of the dampness for a while, while I got dressed.

I grabbed a clean pair of underwear out of a drawer and put them on. Then I grabbed a pair of socks and put them on as well, along with a pair of relaxed fit jeans and a tank top. I was finally fully dressed.

Just at that moment, I heard my doorbell ring. I walked out of my room, through the hall and into the living room. I got to the door and opened it to see Jake standing there.

"Hey, Sean." Jake greeted me.

"Hi, Jake." I greeted him in return. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened last night." He said. "May I come in?"

"Sure." I said, stepping aside to let him in.

He walked in and entered the living room, as I closed the door. I turned back to face him.

"So, buddy, what's on your mind?" I asked him.

Jake just stood there with a huge grin on his face.

"So, you got some ass last night, didn't you?" He said, bluntly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, in shock.

"Come on, Sean." Jake pressed. "I know you did, because I saw you walking a little funny just a minute ago. Also, I came over this morning to ask you if you wanted to go swimming with me and Michelle, but you weren't home and your car was gone. Which means you never came home last night."

I rolled my eyes and caved. I decided to let Jake know what he wanted to know.

"Alright, buddy, if you must know, I did spend the night with someone." I said to him.

Not wanting to tell him any more, I walked into the kitchen to get myself a drink.

"That's it?" Jake asked, following me into the kitchen. "That's all you're going to tell me?"

"Well, if you'd like, I can give you a little taste of what it's like to fuck a guy." I joked. "How about I take you to my room and show you what it's all about?"

Jake got such a funny look of disgust on his face, that I couldn't help but burst with laughter.

"Hell no, Sean." Jake said, throwing his hands up. "Are you insane?"

Seeing me, do nothing but laugh, his face broke into a grin too and he started laughing along with me.

"I'm just playing around with you, buddy." I told him. "There's no way I'd try anything with you."

"You'd better not." He laughed. "Michelle would kick your ass six ways to Sunday."

"Trust me, man, I never want to find that out." I chuckled. "Now, how about we go for that swim right now?"

"That can wait. Right now, I want to know who the lucky guy is who scored with you last night."

I squinted at him, yet a small smile on my face, letting him know that I wasn't angry, but at the same time, that I wasn't going to make it easy for him. He was going to have to guess who it was.

"Well if you want to know so bad, you're just going to have to guess, buddy." I told him, with an evil smirk.

"Can I at least have one hint?" He asked.

"Ok." I said. "He's someone famous."

"Oh really?" He asked, intruiged. "Well this should be interesting."

He frowned a moment, thinking it over who I might be involved with.

"Is it Brad Pitt?"

I had to admit that I was surprised that that was his first guess.

"Please, don't I wish?" I said, sarcastically. "Although I have to admit, for a straight guy, you do have great taste in men."

"Hey!" Jake said, playfully punching my shoulder. "Just because I'm straight doesn't mean that I don't know an attractive guy when I see one."

"If you say so." I giggled, teasing him a little. "But no, It's not Brad. Although he is a good choice. Try again."

"Matt Damon?" He tried again.

As soon, as Matt Damon's name came up, I gasped in horror as my mind flashed back to my wedding reception two years ago.

I realized that I'd never once thought about Ben Affleck or Matt Damon ever since that devastating day that I'd left California. I'd never once contacted them. They had been my friends and I'd really let them down by not staying in touch. I just hoped that I could still get in touch with them.

"Sean, are you ok?" Jake's voice broke through my thoughts.

"What?" I asked him, not sure I heard him.

"I asked if you're alright?" He repeated. "You looked like you'd seen a ghost when I mentioned Matt Damon's name. Is he the guy?"

"Oh no, Jake, it's not him." I told him. "But when you mentioned him just now, I just realized that I haven't contacted him and Ben ever since I left California two years ago."

"Wait a minute! Back up!" Jake said, in shock. "Are you saying that you know those two?"

"Oh, yeah." I said. "I know Ben and Matt really well.....

Here I cut off and looked down at the floor, feeling really guilty now that I'd let down two friends who had really been there for me and look how I'd repaid them. By not even giving them a single thought, much less a phone call even to just let them know that I'd moved. But now when I thought about it, I wasn't in the best of shape, emotionally to think about anyone else at that time.

"Or at least I used to." I finished.

"You used to? Jake asked, frowning slightly. "What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"No, Jake." I replied. "When I left California two years ago, I never got back in touch with them to let them know where I was and I'm sure that they've tried to get in touch with me during all this time, but they couldn't because I'd changed my cellphone number after I moved here a week after I left Los Angeles."

"Wow." Jake said "I'm sure that they were probably worried to death about you."

"They probably still are." I said. "Unless of course they no longer remember me."

"Well, you'll never know if you don't try to get in touch with them." Jake said. "Why don't you give them a call right now?"

I thought about that for a moment. "How would Ben and Matt react when they heard my voice for the first time in two years? Would they be happy? sad? angry? bitter?

I guess I would just have to find out. Even if I did get rejected, I thought that I should at least give it a shot

"I think I'll do that." I said, grabbing my cordless phone from it's console. I looked back up at Jake.

"Would you mind if I had a little privacy?" I asked him.

"Of course." He said, then asked. "Are you still up for that swim with me and Michelle?"

"Yes." I said. "Why don't you head back over to your place and I call you when I'm done, alright?"

"Alright." Jake said, turning towards the door. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, buddy." I said, as Jake closed the door behind him.

I looked in my wallet to see if I still had that little piece of paper that I'd written Ben and Matt's numbers on when I'd first met them.

To my surprise, I still had it. It was in the same place as it was before. I pulled it out and looked at the numbers.

"Well, I'll try their house first." I said, and dailed their house number. I waited for a response.

After about 3 rings, someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Ben?" I asked, not sure if it was his voice. "Is that you?"

"Yes, this is Ben." I heard him say, confusion in his voice. "Who's this?"

I was a little shocked that he didn't remember my voice, but I knew that it was possible he could have forgotten what I sounded like.

"This is Sean Perry." I told him. "You remember me don't you, Ben?"

Ben didn't say anything for a second, then recognition dawned on him?"

"Are you the same Sean Perry who co-starred with us in "Heart Break?"

"Yep. The one and only." I said. "I'm so sorry that I never got back in touch with you and Matt after these last couple of years. Will you at least give me a chance to explain why?"

"You don't have to, Sean." Ben said. "I know all about what happened to you."

"You know all about what?" I asked him, not sure what he was talking about."

"About how your marriage to Nick wasn't legal, Nick becoming a father, and Drew being in love with you, still."

"Who told you all of that?" I asked him, although I was already sure I knew who told him.

"Nick did." Ben told me. "He also told me about how he and the guys disowned you too. And I have to say that Matt and I were pissed at them for treating you that way."

I smiled at Ben's concern. Even after two years of not hearing from me, he still cared about me. But was he ready to accept me back into his life?

"Ben, you have no idea what I went through." I said to him. "I went through so much pain after I left. I guess the reason for not contacting you and Matt during that time was because that I was filled with so much anger, pain, and resentment, that I couldn't think of anyone else but myself at that time."

"I feel so bad that I wasn't there for you sooner." Ben said. "Matt and I even tried to contact you, but your cellphone number had been changed and we'd found out that you weren't living with Nick and the guys anymore, since they'd disowned you."

"I tried your old apartment in New York to see if you'd gone back there, but new tenants had already moved in and we even tried all over California to see if you were at least still in the state, but we didn't have any luck there either. Again, I feel really bad about not being able to be there for you when you obviously needed a friend then."

"Don't feel bad, Ben." I told him. "There wasn't anything that you could have done for me then."

Then, I decided to try to change the subject since I didn't feel like getting into the specifics of what I went through over the phone.

"Hey, Ben, how is Matt doing?" I asked him.

I heard Ben sigh heavily, which didn't sound good.

"Matt and I aren't together anymore." He said, a catch in his voice.

"What?" I asked, shocked. "What happened, Ben? You two were happier than ever the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, we were." Ben said, sadly. "But that's over."

"When did you two break up?" I asked him. "Just recently?"

"No." Ben said. "We broke up about a year ago. It was right before Christmas."

"Oh my god, Ben." I whispered. "That must have killed you."

"Where is Matt now?" I asked him. "Does he still live with you?"

"No, he doesn't." Ben replied. "But he does crash here every now and then since we're working on a project together."

I was enjoying my conversation with Ben alot. It was great that we were getting to know each other again and that we were still friends, despite everything.

"Hey, buddy." I said to him. "Would you like to meet up with me tonight?" I asked him. "I have alot I want to tell you, but I can't get into it over the phone."

"Sure, Sean." Ben said, obviously sounding thrilled. "I would really like that. I could use some company right about now."

"And what I have to tell you, It has to be done in person. I feel I owe you that at least. Once you've heard my story, you'll understand what I went through and why we lost touch." I told him.

"I'm sure I will, buddy." Ben said. "Where are you now?"

"I live in Orlando, Florida now, Ben." I told him. "I'm going to book a flight to Los Angeles as soon as I finish up with you. If things go as planned, I should be in Los Angeles by tonight."

"Cool." Ben said. "Would you like me to pick you up at the airport?"

"Could you?" I asked him. "I would really appreciate that. I don't really have anywhere else to stay in Los Angeles, except for hotels."

"Well then, you can stay with me." Ben offered. "How long will you be out here?"

I then thought about that. Today was was Thursday, so I decided that I would stay Friday and Saturday, and then catch a return flight back home on Sunday.

"Actually, I'll be staying until Sunday, if that's alright with you?" I said, hoping it was alright.

"That's perfect." Ben said. "When you get here, you and I are going to go out and have some fun."

I'm looking forward to it, buddy." I said, smiling. "I've got to go so I can book that flight now. I'll call you back later with my flight information."

"Alright, Sean." Ben agreed. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye." I said, before hanging up.

I then dialed Jake's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" I heard Jake say.

"Hey, Jake, It's Sean." I said. "Listen, I need a favor from you."

"Sure, buddy, what is it?" Jake asked me.

"There's been a change of plans for today." I told him. "I can't go swimming with you and Michelle today because I'm leaving for Los Angeles tonight."

"Really? Why?" Jake asked. "Are you going to spend time with your new guy?"

"No." I replied. "Actually, I'm going to spend the weekend with Ben Affleck and chill with him at his place. Maybe go out to some of the clubs and party."

"No way!" Jake said, sounding excited, yet a bit jealous. "You are going to have so much fun. I sure wish I could go."

"Maybe next time you can." I told him. "That is, once Ben and I get things settled and see where things stand with us as friends."

"I'm sure things will be cool, Sean." Jake said.

"I am too, Jake." I said, smiling. "Oh, and about that favor I asked of you. I want to know if you can watch my place for me while I'm gone."

"Of course I will." Jake said. "Would you like me to take you to the airport as well?"

"You don't have to." I told him. "I can take a cab."

"Sean, you don't need to." Jake insisted. "I'm more than happy to drive you to the airport. In fact, I insist."

Knowing that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, I gave up and caved.

"Ok, Jake, you can drive me." I told him. "And Thanks."

"No, problem." Jake said. "Go head and start booking your flight and I'll be over in a few minutes to help you pack."

"Ok, buddy." I told him. "And let yourself in because I'll leave the door unlocked for you so you can just come on in."

"Alright." Jake said. "See you in a few."

"Bye." I said.

As I hung up with Jake, my mind suddenly flashed back to Drew. I was wondering how he was doing since I'd left the hotel earlier this morning. I was sure that he and the guys were on a plane back home right now.

I just hoped that Drew was doing alright.

******************************************************* ON THE PLANE..................

"Ladies and Gentlemen," The announcer said. "We will be beginning our descent into Los Angeles. Please make sure your seat belts are fastened."

Jeff, Danny, Drew, Justin, and Kandi all sat back and buckled their seat belts.

"I hope we get some answers about Nick when we get home." Jeff said. "I'm really worried about him."

"I think we will, Jeff." Danny, who was beside Jeff, said. "Once we talk to Jessica, we'll have a better idea of what Nick's state of mind was when he left."

"So, Drew, where do you think Nick could have gone?" Justin asked, looking over at Drew. Drew didn't seem to hear Justin's question.

He had a far away look in his eyes, which meant something was weighing heavily on his mind.

"Hello?" Kandi voiced. "Earth to Drew?"

Drew snapped out of his reverie and looked up at Kandi.

"I'm sorry, Kandi, did you say something?" He said, not sure he had heard her.

"No, actually, Justin did." Kandi said to him. "He asked you where you think Nick could have gone?"

"I don't know." Drew said. "I'll have to wait until I talk to Jessica and then I'll see if Nick left any clues as to where he could have gone."

"By the way, Drew." Jeff said. "You looked like you had alot on your mind."

"I do." Drew said. "I was thinking about Sean just a minute ago."

"Speaking of Sean, you never did tell us why he left earlier." Danny pointed out.

"Well, after Sean decked Jeff earlier, he and I talked about our relationship and I gave him an ultimatum. If He wants to be with me, he was going to have to find some way to get along with all of you. And if not, we were going to agree to go our separate ways and not contact each other again."

"What did you both decide?" Kandi asked, curiously. "Will Sean be a part of our lives again or won't he?"

Drew looked away from them and sighed.

"Oh my god, he won't be, will he? Danny asked, a sad look on his face.

Drew looked back at everyone, his face void of emotion.

"No, we wont..........."

TBC............?

Well that's all for this installment. Sorry it's taken so long to get this one out.

"Are Drew and Sean really over?"

"Will Ben and Sean rediscover their friendship?"

Stay tuned to find out.

Slpwriter@yahoo.com

Next: Chapter 54


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