My Head is a Jungle
(This is a character driven story, and my first ever. Sorry if it is a slow start, but I want you to understand Charlie before you join him on his journey of self discovery. It's going to be epic. Please send me any feedback or thoughts you have to rmlambertauthor@gmail.com!)
This story is set in a Northern English context.
Chapter 1
It wasn't just the heat keeping Charlie awake that night. He lay there with the dull noise of the fan, desperately trying to stop his mind from thinking. It was often like this. He would wake in the middle of the night and lie there, tangled up in the bedsheets trying to figure out who he was. It was no coincidence that there were just four more days until the summer holidays ended and Charlie found himself back in school. School. Studying. Friends. Sport. It was all too much for him. He'd spent the majority of the summer burying his head in the sand, deliberately leaving his phone at home and going out for long walks in the forest, running, swimming, playing golf with his dad. The truth is, he didn't care about the things the majority of his friends cared about. So much of who he was was performative. But then, isn't everyone putting on a performance every single day? Knowing he wasn't going to sleep anymore, he sighed, swung his legs out of bed and sat staring into the fan letting the cool air close his eyes. He tapped his phone screen. 04.03. He'd slept for a few hours. He picked up the phone, unlocked it and glanced at the notifications. The amount made his stomach hurt, he swiped them away and lay on the bed, phone in hand. Charlie was popular, but honestly, he didn't care. The friendships he had, bar his two best friends in the world, felt fake, all based around the standard teenage experience; partying, girls, football. He knew most of his so-called "friends" wouldn't actually help him if he needed it.
Opening the camera, Charlie examined his appearance. He had deep brown eyes, that if you ever took the time to properly look at you couldn't help noticing had a deep sadness about them, thick, blonde sandy hair parted in the middle and striking cheekbones.His hair fell in that perfect way as if he had just jumped from a surfboard, windswept and framing his face perfectly. Blessed with clear skin, perfect vision and the ability to eat anything he wanted, Charlie wasn't stupid, he knew he was handsome. Yet he wasn't vain. He didn't have a skincare routine like the rest of the world seemed to, he didn't spend a lot of time doing his hair and looking in the mirror, he loathed posting selfies on Instagram, he was just Charlie. It was part of who he was. But, secretly, he liked how he looked. He liked the way the sun caught his hair and made it look blonder. He liked the compliments about his eyes and cheekbones.The problem was, he didn't know about the rest of him. Who was he really? He played football every day and loved Manchester United more than anything, would do anything for his brother, listened to Travis Scott obsessively, firmly believed chocolate was the answer for everything. But Charlie had a lot to figure out about who he was. Weeks away from his 16th birthday, he was confused.
Inevitably, Charlie found himself looking at TikTok. Lying there scrolling, the sun began to slowly lighten the sky, and as light poked through the blinds of his bedroom, it lit up his smooth exposed chest. It was tight and defined with a light rippling of abs from the hours of football and running he had done since he was 12. He had a deep tan from the hours spent this summer without a shirt. How long he wasted watching he didn't know, but after a while, a video came up of one of the boys from school. He was in the year above Charlie, he didn't know him so well, but had seen him around school. He was attempting some challenge where you shake a beer bottle and spray beer high into the sky set to music. He'd taken his shirt off and at the end of the video, the remaining beer in the bottle he had whilst laughing and goofing around poured the remaining beer down his abs. Charlie immediately felt something. He rewatched the video. He couldn't take his eyes off the beer running down his abs. Charlie clicked on his profile. He had some other videos, and as Charlie scrolled there was one of him in the gym recording himself bench pressing. Importantly, without a shirt. This time there was no denying it, Charlie's dick immediately became like a steel rod. Straining against the tight black boxers he had worn to sleep. Without taking his eyes off the video, Charlie's hand slid down into his pants. Shuffling out of them, lying there naked, Charlie began to slowly jerk his dick while looking at the video. Slowly at first, just teasing. Deciding he wanted more, he went to the site he often found himself looking at in the early hours of the morning and typed in what he had typed in time and time again, "college guy pounded by huge cock." Charlie had seen this video so often, he knew every scene. He turned his headphones up louder and began to fully work his dick. Throwing back the sheets, he lay on the bed, phone in one hand, his hard teenage dick in the other. There was nothing soft about this, he was forcefully jerking his dick as the college bros fucked each other in a variety of sweaty positions on the screen. The light from the windows illuminated a thin sheen of sweat on Charlie's body as he lay there. He was tall with a tight, toned teenage body. Not an inch of hair yet on his chest, but a thick bush of sandy blond pubes sat on top of his long teenage dick. This was something else that was lucky about Charlie. At nearly 16, he was blessed to have a long, fat dick. It really set against his long, toned teenage body. Lying there in the morning sun, his body glowing and sweaty, huge dick in hand, he really was like something from a magazine. The ultimate lust object. Young, blonde, innocent. The kind of guy you would double back to look at in the street. Lying there, sweaty, dick in hand almost begging you to watch. The sunlight through the blinds catches every contour, every ridge of a perfectly defined teenage body.
He was getting close. He was doing everything he could to not let out a loud moan. It always happened at the same point. As one of the college bros pulled out his dick and came all over the other guy's ass, usually Charlie would burst too. Charlie propped the phone against his pillow so he could use his other free hand to gently roam his body, moist with sweat. On video, the college bro pulls out and cums all over the guy's ass. Charlie gets faster, and with the quietest moan, cum spills out all over Charlie's stomach. The first spurt reaches his neck, and then his chest and abs. `Fuck!' thought Charlie, as a rogue spurt of cum covers his duvet. He makes a mental note to put the bedding in the washing machine later. He lay there catching his breath, and looking down at the cum inquisitively, scoops some up with two fingers, tastes it. He's struck by the strange but not unpleasant flavour. Mind you, I don't smoke, eat lots of fruit, he thinks. It shouldn't taste bad. But before he can think anything else the regret kicks in. Using a pair of boxers to mop up the cum, the phone gets thrown to the floor, and the pillow is pulled over his face and Charlie thinks, "I'm never watching that video again!" The sun rises high into the sky, and in a small village in the north of England, a boy desperately hides under his pillow trying to convince himself he isn't gay. What he didn't know at this point was the next few months was going to change everything for him.