Ch 2
So Im almost 18 and Russell is 17 (a Jr.) I had my first real kiss, had my first real blow job, gave my first blow job, wow all in one night, the night that would forever change my life. Defiantly in a good way though. It was the way I was born, the way I was suppose to be, the life I know I always wanted. What more could I ask for? Dam I had what I thought was the hottest boy in the world. So sweet, caring , funny, and smart!. So I as usually had no problem asking parents about the sleep over and thank God I receive no questions when arriving home. Im the type of kid who never gets in trouble, well at least never get caught, so Im pretty much given freedom when ever.
So back to the night in question. I can't even put in words the feeling of laying with someone in a twin bed all night. I felt so compete , it was meant to be. We had some much fun, so much kissing and cuddling, so much love and passion. We couldn't even fall asleep until three am or so. I couldn't keep my hands of Russ and he couldn't keep his hands off me. We talked for such a long time about everything. I told him how I always knew I was gay. How I wished I could just tell the world that I was gay and in love and had a boyfriend, but I couldn't . I told him how sorry I was for fuckin around with him when I first met him. We talked about our friends and imagine what they would say if they knew we were together in bed right at that moment. We both laughed. I told him that my parents would be pissed but they would get over it. It wouldn't be like they would disown me, but they wouldn't be happy. We talked college, jobs, marriage and kids. I told him I would love a kid that looked like him, dam we would have the cutest kids. I felt like we were in a relationship for years, not just hours. The college thought came into my mind then. What would we do as I was set to go away, a 2 1/2 hour ride away. He would be a senior in high school, no car no license no money for gas! Dam I could help little but who knows. I know I felt so right, so complete , so happy. And I know he did too.
The convo turned to Russell now. He tells me about his parents. He really never knew them. His father was in Jail and died while his mother died of an overdose . He hated them for bringing him into this world without the know how or means to take care of him. In steps his grandmother who raised him from the age of 5. She was not a very affectionate person, always seemed angry at he world. She provided the basics but that was about it. He told me how embarrassed he was because he had no dad or mom like most kids do. He lived in a shit hole ( his words) and even worse, he was gay and could never reason that one with his grandmother. He hated that he was so skinny and he hated people calling him a fag and asking for him to suck their cocks. The funny thing is he would have with some of them, but never would out himself in our town. He had some tears during some of this conversation . I wiped them away and held him and kept running my fingers though his hair. He told me he got the girlfriend because he thought people would stop making fun of him, but it didn't work. He said how he knew I liked him especially because i acted like a dick to him. He totally understood . He knew he would get me eventually and it took so much courage to try but he would risk that for me. We cuddled and fell asleep in each others arms. So many emotions, but I knew for sure a few things now. First , Im defiantly totally gay and theres no turning back. Second, Im in love with a beautiful boy I can now call my boyfriend. Third, we have to keep this between us, but really when we go back to school , I don't know how Ill keep my hands off him and Im sure there will be those that know something is going on just by the look in our eyes.
Ch 3 soon
I welcome any feedback, please don't discriminate my grammar and spelling . Im writing from the heart.
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