Bellini come on run" coach said as I played lacross it was hard I did as I was suppose that little shit Brandon kept trying to steal the ball away from me but I knocked him down and scored everyone congratulated me I went over and helped him up "thanks Nathan" he said "hey how about you stop trying to be me and play your own way" "so you see I try to steal you moves " "yeah , as usual it never works because I kind of invented the play so I know what your going to do " `thanks " he said "for what " I asked " for talking to me I look up to you , I mean you are my big brother in the big brother/sister program "true but I didn't know you look up to me" "it's true , you got the best car , the hottest girls , I want to be just like you" he said I had to stop him " look brandon im flattered but you don't want to be like me , and about the girls I'm done with that " I said "what do you mean " he said looking at me "I have a boyfriend now" he stopped and looked at me "What? So your gay" "yeah I am " I said he patted my shoulders "so what! if anybody got a problem I'll handle them for you " he said I laughed " don't go cutting anybody " I said laughing "so can I come to the party I know its only for junior and seniors " he said "sure but your not getting any beer" I said "deal, so who is your boyfriend " he said matt was at his locker all his books fell out I laughed "him" I pointed "Matthew Barrett ?" he said "you two are like the polar opposite but you do have a thing for blonds " "okay this conversation is getting weird I'll see you at the party I'll put your name on the list bring your I.D you need to show it to the guards at the front gate " he gave me a pound (handshake) and walked down the hall I walked over to my baby "you need some help" I asked I bent down and started gathering some of his books "thanks" he said I kissed him "no problem babe.
its been months since we sent out our college applications and i have to admit im a little annoyed that they havent come yet and scared as well that maybe i didnt get into any good schools your letters are here " my mother said I looked at her wondering what she was talking about "don't you remember everyone gets there letters around this time from the colleges they applied to I looked through the letters one was from penn state , the next was from ohio state and there it was Nyu logo on the upper left side of the corner I looked at the letter and was scared to open it because I knew it would say I regret to inform you "what are you waiting for " my mom and karen said " I stuffed the letter in my pocket "I'll open it later you guys open the others karen opened penn state university "you got in " karen said excited mom opened ohio state "you got in " she said smiling , that was good but those were my fall back schools I wanted nyu ,,I got to go " I said and jetted out the door I got to amber's house her mother let me in I ran to her room she was starring at her desk "What are you doing " I said "the letters came today" she was stirring at the envelope "yeah mines too" she turned and looked at me "so did you,get in to nyu" she said examing me "I got into penn state and ohio state " I said "what about Nyu " she said I pulled the letter out " I didnt open it I'm scared " i said "thats how I feel about F.I.T I got into rutgers and texas state but I need FIT " she said "how about we open them up together " I proposed "okay" she said we held the letters up and counted to three then ripped them open she screamed her mother ran in "is everything okay" she said " I got into F.I.T" she said I was quiet "hat matt whats wrong you didn't get in,matt say something " they both looked at me with sympathetic eyes "its so sad ,that we are going to rip the streets of manhattan when I attend Nyu next fall" I said amber and her mother were so happy for me .
that night all the seniors went to joe's we all ordered food and had a good time nathan came through the door looking bumped out he sat down next to me "are you okay" i asked "no not really i didnt get into ucla" he said "oh man im sorry" i said he shrugged it off "cheer up nate" amber said "what about you fall back schools " she said "i didnt pick a fall back school i was banking on UCLA " he said "isnt registration over for incoming freshman" amber continued "yeah amber i know you dont have to broadcast it to the whole world " he said irritated "maybe we should go " i said "what for stay i'll go " nathan got up and stormed out i went after him "what is your problem , so what you didnt get into any schools your family has money they can get you into any ivy league you want " i said "i wanted to get in like everyone else not buy my way in. he said "i never thought of it like that nate im sorry i even said that " i said "its okay , so Nyu " he said "i got in " i said he smiled then pulled me close and kissed me "i knew you would" he said "can you believe we have three more months in that hell hole we call high school " i said "believe it or not im going to miss high school , we had really nothing to worry about except the occassional bully , but we knew what we had to do, when we had to do it and our goal was to go to the next grade , after high school is when the real world comes into play one little screw up could affect our whole future. who knew Nathan was a realist . i got home and the house was quiet karen was out with jeff, danny was asleep by now and dad was in his office upstairs working mom was watching t.v some friday night movie "mom what are you watching i said as i sat down beside her "some movie the women is being framed for murder its really good " she said talking to me but her eyes were glued to the t.v "oh yeah your uncle Marvin and cousin josh will be here tomorrow " she said , wow i havent seen uncle marvin in three years but i did speak to him before my accident and it must have been three years since i've seen josh , its going to be interesting to see .
(Josh barrett was very misunderstood he was the quiet type that people seem to pass by and forget he was there , he was very similar to me in features i guess thats because his father and my father are brothers which makes us first cousins , he had the same color hair and was almost the same height the only difference would be eye color josh eyes were a dark chocolate brown almost black what i call bedroom eyes and he was a bit of a bore , he wasnt into sports and didnt go out as much but he did carry around a camera )
i had awoken to someone going through my things looking at magazines and pictures "what the hell" i said he turned "oh crap josh i havent seen you in like what three years " i got up and hugged him "whats going on " i said "nothing much " he said in a low tone my uncle told me that his son was different after his mother died but i couldnt believe how shut down he was "Hay im going to get dressed how about i show you around we can get a bite to eat" i said "sure thing " he said then left out of my room as i took a shower and got dressed i could here uncle marvin and dad laughing downstairs , i got out got dressed and went downstairs "hay matt long time no see god your tall josh stood next to me karen walked up to us "god you two look like twins or something " the rest of the family looked at us "yeah they kind of do " mom said "bro can you give me a ride to jeff's " karen said "yeah no problem we left i dropped karen off as we sat outside i told josh about me "you do know im gay right" he looked at me "you are ?" he said "yeah , your going to meet my boyfreind nathan he's really cool" "i never meet someone gay before " josh said "well now you have are you okay with it or not " i asked "sure thing that stuff doesnt matter to me " we got to joes and brandon was sitting across from nathan with his laptop i walked over "whats up guys" i said "hey so do you get how to write a essay " brandon asked me Nathan looked at us he kept looking back and forth "oh i almost forgot we got to go remember to manhattan for nyu orientation " he said "oh crap my cousin in here for the weekend i was suppose to show him around" "im sorry but you two look like you could be brothers its uncanny" nathan said i then looked at Brandon "can you show my cousin around town i mean if you arent too busy or anything " i asked "sure i dont mind " he said i josh looked at me "josh this is Brandon Lawson he is going to show you around town" i said "but i thought you were " he said "come on Brandon is cool dont worry " with that we left out of joes ,
(Brandon)
I cant figure that josh kid out he seems cool but he shy when i talk to him he cant look me in my eyes whats up with that i mean he isn't ugly you broke my camera" he was so tense and nervous "are you okay josh " I asked "yeah im fine" he said "no your not I grabbed him and sat him down I went behind and started to massage "What are you doing he asked " "just helping you out relax" he did as I told him and soon he started to kind of moan this was getting alittle strange so I stopped "dude you need to relax serious . With that I walked out he followed "dude i wasnt hitting on you or anything i was just helping you out " i said he turned "what ever brandon can you just drive me back to my cousins house " he said "no i have other places to show you besides the horse stables " i said he looked aggravated finally some kind of emotion "i said im going to go " "not without my car" he walked some more "then i'll hitch hike " i laughed "your a funny guy you know that i caught up to him again and grabbed him by the shoulder he pushed me " what the hell" i pushed him back i got him in a headlock but lost my balance he was on the ground and i was on top of him i leaned in to kiss him i was surprised at two things i was kissing another boy and how soft his lips felt i pulled back horrified "im sorry i shouldn't have" he got up and looked bright red"no,,,,no prob,,,problem he studdared lets just kiss , i mean get out of here" he said . the drive back was quiet i notice everything the way he taped his finger on his knee "look it was impulse im not gay " all he did was stir out the window which made it all uncomfortable we finally got to matt's house he opened the door and got out he walked to the front door then looked back i waved and he turned back around and went in the house,he and matt may have a resemblance but he acted nothing like his cousin he was uptight and stuckup i drove off.
(Karen)
that night i had a hott party to go to and i was with the hottest guy , jeff was all mine and i wasnt giving him up for nothing or no one josh knocked on my open door i told him to come in "whats up " i said "anything intresting happening tonight " he said "as a matter of fact im going to a party you should totally come with " i said he looked as if the idea repulsed him but then he agreed to go i t old him to go get ready " he walked away , i think people forget that josh mother died almost a year and a half ago he isnt the same person he was before that i remember josh being so full of life and now he is different .we arrived at brandons house he opened the door brandon and josh stared at each other , dont know what that was about jeff took our jackets to the closet "im gonna get a drink i told him " he went to the couch i shook my head "i was going to be the one who would pull him out of that shell
(Josh)
so i sat on the couch as karen and jeff disappeared into the kitchen i looked around at all the people drinking and dancing and i saw brandon whispering something in some girl ear she was hot so he was trying to get into her panties then he looked at me i looked away i was the only douche sitting on the couch looking like an idiot Brandon came over "enjoying the party " he said "yeah sure " i spoke "you know about earlier i'm." i cut him off "dont worry about it , i know people and how they operate you weren't thinking i know " i got up and walked into the kitchen jeff and karen were making out i grabed two beers and went outside . i felt alone , my mothers death messed everything up i use to have friends i use to go to and enjoy parties and i use to be content with my sexuality strickly hetero but something was different i saw people diffferent not only did i think that girl brandon was with was hot but i thought brandon was smokin hot especially with that tight abercrombie shirt on that showed his well defined body i was now down to my last beer i guzzled it down and was little buzzed i went in the house about an hour had passed people were dancing to lady gaga "just dance " i had to piss and the first floor bathroom was occupied i went upstair i walked down the hall and opened a room door i saw brandon fucking that girl they were both naked they both looked at me i closed the door and then eventually found the bathroom
i came back downstairs feeling real good hey lets play spin the fuckin bottle i said everybody cheered Karen came over to me "josh are you buzzed" "i had a few relax cuz" about six of us sat in a circle Brandon and the girl come downstairs "whats going on " "spin the bottle join in i said he looked at me "what we all know you like to kiss" i said "what the hell is that suppose to mean" everybody was looking at him "relax its only a game " he tried to laugh it off he and the girl sat in the circle karen spinned first and it landed on a guy jeff looked angry but karen kissed him anyway then the next person went and so on then it got to me i turned the bottle and it landed on Brandon "want a kiss" i said everybody started laughin he was not then i spinned it again and it landed on the girl he was with "it landed on whitney i heard a few people said we met in the middle and kissed i grabbed her and we were french kissing she was stroking my hair then i felt a push it was brandon he pushed me then stood over me and punched me the music stoped and everybody was looking at him he looked around karen and jeff helped me up "you alright buddy" jeff said "yeah im fine " i went got my jacket and karen and jeff followed jeff drove us home .
i had awoken to a steak on my eye my eye was swollen but could have been worst it was alittle bluish karen came in "are you okay drunkie" she siad laughing "that is so not funny " i said she sat on matt's bed i was sleepin in his bed "well your eye isnt that bad oh yeah branden is downstairs " she said "what for i said " i got up " i guess he wants to apoligize karen got up and went in her room i walked downstairs he was standing right there "you greet people in your undies all the time " he said "dont beat around the bush what do you want " i said he had a look of guilt on his face "im sorry for doing what i did it was uncalled for and it was just a game " he looked at me for some kind of answer "whatever " i said then turned to go back upstairs "thats it whatever ?" i turned back around "what else brandon i walked closer to him i was so close our nose were almost touching he was frozen still i grabbed him by the waste i could feel him get hard "you want me dont you " i said laughing he looked serious "too bad right im leaving today and never coming back " i went back upstairs i could here the front door close .
martin is sitting at the kitchen table and marvin comes in and sit down "i'm thinking about moving here " marvin say's looking his brother in the eye "thats great " martin says "i just want to get josh out of the city he needs to be close to family , ever since elizabeth's death my boy havent been the same, i want him to have some stability " marvin says martin gets up to get more coffee "what did you have in mine " martin says "its going to take a few months but im hoping to find something close to you guys martin leaves out and return with a folder "there is a property in foreclosure in the Main community which is ten minutes away from us " he hands marvin the file marvin goes through the files "i like this one " martin looks at it "just give me the word its yours bro" "okay im giving you my word i want this place i will buy it and make the move easy for my son , it may take a few months, but im sure this is the best thing for him". .
(Matt)
me and nathan returned back from Nyu Special orientation , im so happy that i am finally becoming an adult and in a few short month will be living my own life. nathan drove me home we made out of course thank god for the tinted windows "i think i want you right now" nathan said smiling at me "so what are you waiting for " i said "we are in front of your house i cant risk your parents seeing the car go up and down while we have fun " he said " yeah i guess your right i kissed his neck then got out he drove off another car rolled up it was a cab nick got out he looked nervous "nick , how are you" i said "fine i guess i wanted to keep my distance because of what i did " he said "nick i told you im not going to tell i was partly to blame anyways " i said "theres no excuse , i just came to say goodbye" he said "what do you mean goodbye" I said now i had my hand on his shoulder the cab man was being extremely nosie "i'm leaving , going back to California , I got a room waiting for me at my grandparents place I even spoke to Kyle my old boyfriend and he wants me back" he said "that's great I really hope you find what your looking for " I said "yeah so do I " we hugged his parents were in the cab as well they waved at me I waved back "good luck, keep in touch " I said "thank you Matt you really are the best guy i've ever known" he had tears in his eyes and i could feel them forming in my eye he kissed me gently on the lips then got in the car and rode off . Nick fell off a little but he was not a bad guy and i didnt tell because he was there for me and the cat and mouse game i played with Nathan really hurt him and i regret doing that to him i sure hope nathan will feel the same way i do when i am ready to tell him about Nick.