Now or Never

By Robin

Published on Jul 20, 2000

Gay

Disclaimer: This story contains male/male relationships, if you are not comfortable reading this type of material, please leave. If you are underage where you live, please leave this site now. This is a piece of fiction, which means it's not real. I do not know *N Sync, nor do I know their sexual preferences.

Hey everyone. I can't seem to write on a schedule no matter how hard I try, so I'm just not going to. :) I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out, but don't worry, it'll be here eventually. I'm sorry for the lack of Justin/Lance moments in this chapter, but there is such a thing as plot and it needs to be taken care of before any more hanky-panky. But I promise in the next chapter or so, there will be plenty of that. :)

I just want to say a big thank you to Cele for editing for me! Besides the fact that I would have probably given up on Now or Never if you hadn't kept the emails coming. :) Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read. :) Oh, yeah, by the way...please email me and let me know what you think about this chapter or the story in general. It's much appreciated. nsajscgirl@yahoo.com.

Okay, I'm shutting up for real this time. :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Previously on Now or Never:

"No, dammit. You're not listening to me, Joey. I did this to you. I added the roofies to your drink. I watched as you downed it. I watched and laughed; laughed, dammit! I laughed as I watched you swaying and falling apart minute by minute. It was me that did this to you, Joey. I put you in the hospital. I nearly killed you! Dammit, Joey!" By the end of his tearful confession, Chris was yelling into Joey's face. JC leaned forward and pulled Chris back down into his chair by a firm hand. Chris collapsed into the chair, sobbing into his hands. Lance watched as hundreds of emotions flashed across Joey's face starting with confusion, then disbelief, to hurt, and to anger only to start the emotional roller coaster all over again. He still didn't know what Joey's reaction would be and it scared him beyond belief.

And now on with the story... Now or Never Chapter 11

The room remained deathly silent except for the sounds of Chris's distressed sobbing and the faint beeping of the machines attached to Joey. Lance kept a wary eye on Joey while Justin tried to comfort Chris by leaning down and wrapping the older man into a hug from behind. Chris accepted Justin's gesture by leaning back into him. He couldn't seem to control his tears and he was afraid to lift his head, afraid to look at Joey. It was then that Chris realized the magnitude of his confession on the rest of his life, on the rest of 'N Sync's life.

Slowly, he pulled away from Justin and straightened in his chair. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, hoping to delay the inevitable. He used both of his hands to wipe at his swollen, tear-drenched eyes. He sighed heavily and wearily opened his eyes to find Joey staring at him. No, not at him, through him was more like it. It was like he didn't even see Chris sitting there in front of him. Joey's face was blank, devoid of emotion. Chris couldn't tell if he was angry or sad or anything; there was absolutely no sign of what Joey was thinking. Joey was usually like an open book, bluntly sharing his thoughts and feelings with those around him. It was completely unusual for Chris not to be able to read Joey's thoughts. Chris's heart pounded heavily in his chest as he searched Joey's face, looking for any emotion that would tell him what the younger man was thinking, but there was none.

"Joey?" Chris asked hesitantly in the small voice of a child. Joey blinked and refocused his eyes on the group standing in front of him.

"Why?" Joey asked simply of his friend. Lance's breath caught in his throat harshly once he saw the gleam of tears in Joey's eyes. Chris let out a loud sob and answered.

"It was just a joke, Joey. Please forgive me! I never meant to hurt you!" Chris declared. He would beg and plead, he would get down on his knees and pray for forgiveness, he would do anything to have Joey forgive him. Joey shook his head silently and turned his face away from his friends.

"Can you guys leave me alone for a little while?" he asked quietly. Lance's shoulders slumped and JC sighed before Chris spoke again.

"Oh, God! Please Joey! I didn't mean for this to happen! Can't you see that?!" The room fell quiet once again as Joey refused to respond. His breathing had become harsh and it was obvious that he was barely holding it together. Since his face was turned away, JC couldn't tell if he was about to shed tears or let loose words heated with anger. Chris sighed in defeat and rose quickly from his chair. He had decided that he needed to give Joey space and time to think about things. Chris slowly reached out to the bedside and patted Joey's still hand once, letting Joey know that no matter what he would be close by. Joey's body tensed beneath the blanket at Chris's touch but he didn't utter a sound; he simply allowed Chris to leave the room.

Lance opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Justin. His lover simply laid his hand at the small of Lance's back to keep him from speaking. Lance quickly snapped his mouth shut and glanced curiously at Justin. The younger man just smiled a small smile and with a slight flip of his head, he indicated that he thought they should leave Joey alone as requested. Lance returned his gaze to Joey and watched him silently for a moment before allowing Justin to direct him out of the room. JC was the only other member of the group left in the room and he too turned to leave. The sound of Joey's voice, rough with unshed tears, kept him from stepping out of the door.

"JC?"

"Yeah, Joe?"

"Could you stay for a little while? I didn't want everyone here right now. I just want to rest, but could you just sit here with me?" Joey asked hesitantly. JC nodded silently and moved to the chair beside the bed. As he sat, he kept his gaze focused on Joey's pale face, taking in every detail, trying to understand Joey's thoughts and feelings at that moment. He thought for a moment before deciding to speak about the matter that was on both of their minds. However, Joey beat him to it.

"I don't know if I can forgive him for this, Josh. I'm in a damn hospital. He nearly killed me," Joey stated, his voice full of confusion and pain at the thought of Chris's actions. JC thought about what he wanted to say to Joey for several minutes before speaking.

"Joey, you know that he didn't know what he was doing. Chris would never purposefully hurt you; he loves you like a brother, you know that."

"I know, but what the fuck was he thinking?" Joey asked, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"I honestly don't know, Joey. But think about it, this is Chris we are talking about. The king of pranks. He thought it would be funny. You know that he didn't realize what was going to happen. Hell, I bet if he had shared the idea with you and done it to somebody else, you would have laughed along with him. Helped him do it too. I think you know that." Although Joey didn't want to admit it, JC made a good point. He probably would have gone along with Chris, laughed right along with him as he drugged some unsuspecting person's drink. Both JC and Joey were quiet as they thought about what was said. It was then that JC's thoughts turned to follow a more depressing path.

"Oh God, Joey, I don't know what I...we would do if you had...had..." JC's voice broke and his crystal blue eyes welled with tears as he thought of the unspeakable. He grabbed Joey's hand and held on for dear life as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. "Jesus, Joey. You're my brother, just like the others. We...none of us could survive without you!" Joey stared at JC, amazed at this outburst of emotion. Unlike Joey, JC always managed to keep his emotions under control, even during the most stressful times. It was obvious, however, that JC had been unable to deal with these recent turn of events in the normal JC fashion. Joey pulled his hand away from JC's grasp only to place it at the top of JC's head. Joey wanted to comfort JC and the only way he knew how to do that was through touch. He ran his fingers over JC's hair repeatedly and JC leaned forward to rest his forehead on the cool sheets near Joey's thigh. Joey kept the contact with JC and he waited patiently for JC's whimpering and sniffling to stop.

"Shh...it's okay, Josh. I'm fine, everything's okay," Joey murmured reassuringly. JC quickly straightened up, pulling himself out of Joey's reach and wiping furiously at the tears he had allowed to spill down his cheeks.

"Damn, Joey. I'm sorry. Here I am bawling my eyes out and you are comforting me. I should be lending you my shoulder instead," JC said with a small laugh. Joey grinned wryly at him to let him know that he understood. Joey wasn't as immune to the spill of emotion as he would have JC believe, but JC caught on quickly when he saw Joey try to wipe his tears away as nonchalantly as he could. They shared a small, some-what embarrassed smile that all males share at overwhelming displays of emotion. Joey surprised the both of them by yawning loudly.

"You should get some sleep, Joe," JC suggested, concern lighting his blue eyes. He slowly pushed himself out of the chair. "We'll talk about everything else later, if you want to, okay?" Joey nodded his agreement and watched JC's retreating form.

"Bye, Josh. Thanks for staying and talking with me," Joey said. JC turned around once he reached the door. He intended to reply, but quickly stopped himself as soon as he noticed Joey's closed eyes and deep breathing. JC stood there silently for a moment, watching Joey sleep. He was overwhelmed by the feeling of relief that was coursing through his body. He was so happy that Joey was okay, that he was going to be just fine. Things changed all the time, he knew that, but that kind of change was something that he was unwilling to think about. He knew that he would be devastated if he lost any of his brothers. He couldn't imagine his life without them by his side. He would have missed Joey's smiling face and nonsensical jokes and Chris's hyperness and willingness to defend those he loves like a pit bull. 'Then there's Justin and Lance, the couple' JC thought with a wry smile. He loved them both equally and he was truly happy for them, that they had found each other. He couldn't imagine a day going by without Justin's quick smile or watching him get excited about the stupidest things, like a new slang word or something. Or Lance, the one he talked to when he was having serious problems. Although Lance was younger than he was, he always managed to come across as more...mature...intelligent, something that JC couldn't quite put his finger on. He also had a carefree side, although it didn't come out much. It was that side of him that would release a totally stupid laugh at the weirdest moments to provide levity to a situation. JC loved them all, and it was with a heavy sigh that he finally flipped off the light in Joey's room, stepped out into the hall, and silently shut the door behind him. ----- Meanwhile in 'N Sync's private waiting room...

"Goddammit! They're everywhere!" Johnny exploded as he stomped into the group's private waiting room. Lance and Justin shared a quick glance before looking up at the tall, imposing man at the same time. Lance winced once he noticed the entourage of lawyers and Jive employees that trailed behind Johnny. Chris ignored the intrusion and sat motionless in one of the available chairs that lined the walls. He was bent forward, his elbows resting on his knees, with his fingers buried deep into his hair. Although he tried to hide it, his sniffles were audible.

"Who?" Justin asked cautiously, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"The damn press! I'm surprised they didn't mob you when you got here this morning. One of them practically attacked me when I stepped into the elevator," Johnny replied before turning to a young man beside him and barking an order for him to find the head of 'N Sync's security team. The man hastily agreed, practically tripping over his own feet in order to get out of the door.

"There weren't any press members outside when we got here this morning," Lance informed their manager.

"Well, they're here now! I don't want any of you to leave this room unless a bodyguard accompanies you...wait, where's JC?" Johnny asked quickly once he noticed the absence of the lanky singer. His voice was full of worry and he looked frantically around the room, hoping that JC had just escaped his notice.

"With Joey," Chris spoke up for the first time, a twinge of bitterness caressing his voice, as he looked up from the floor. He knew that he had no right to expect Joey to forgive him right away and ask him to stay by his side, but he couldn't help the hint of jealousy he was feeling towards JC. Johnny was silent for a moment, watching Chris. His stony face was expressionless as he took in Chris's red, weary eyes. Johnny shook himself mentally before returning to the situation at hand.

"Anyway, I've already gotten Jive to schedule a press conference later this afternoon. Jive wanted you guys to be there, but I managed to talk them out of that. One of your PR agents is going to make a statement to the press for you." Lance silently sent a prayer towards heaven once he heard Johnny's words. The last thing he wanted to do was sit down in front of a group of blood- thirsty reports and claim that everything with Joey and the group was hunky-dory. He shuddered at the thought of shouted questions demanding to be answered at the same time and flashbulbs going off in his face. Lance looked up once he noticed Johnny move a little closer to their spot against the wall. The older man leaned close and lowered his voice when he imparted this next piece of information. "I've also got some good news, the private investigator I hired earlier found Jack, Chris's drug supplier."

"Really? That's great Johnny! Did you talk to him? Did you convince him not to talk to anyone about Chris or Joey?" Lance questioned as he leaned forward in his chair. He was glad that this guy had been found, it tied up one of too many loose ends.

"Everything has been taken care of. He won't be bothering us anymore. Jack is no longer a threat to 'N Sync," Johnny stated with a certain amount of finality in his voice that caused Justin to frown and share a quick glance of concern with Lance.

"What do you mean, 'He's not going to bother us anymore?' Did you pay him off?" Justin asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure he wanted to know exactly what happened to Jack.

"Don't worry about it, Justin. Like I said, everything's been taken care of," Johnny replied. Justin was now more certain than ever that he didn't want to know what had happened and he had a difficult time erasing the frown that marred his lips as Johnny offered him a reassuring smile. He shared yet another glance with his lover and saw the exact same frown mirrored on Lance's face. Chris remained silent. He hadn't been paying attention to anything Johnny said, he simply didn't care anymore.

It was at that moment that JC returned to the waiting room. Johnny quickly excused himself from the trio and made his way towards JC. Justin watched for a moment as Johnny caught JC up to speed on the recent events. He then scanned the waiting room, making sure that no one was paying attention to him and Lance. The room was full of people, but no one was aware of Justin's movements as he deftly slid his hand underneath Lance's and turned it palm up, entwining his long fingers with Lance. He needed the contact as much as he was sure Lance did.

Lance stiffened for a moment before looking around the room. He noticed the same thing Justin did, no one was watching them. He relaxed and squeezed Justin's warm hand, offering his lover a small smile, which Justin happily returned. Lance couldn't describe the warmth and love in his heart as he took in Justin's features. He knew that Justin would always be there for him, always ready to lend a shoulder for him to cry on or give a smile for him to return.

Their tender moment was interrupted as Joey's doctor stepped through the door. Lance gently untangled his hand from Justin's and straightened up in the chair. Dr. Jenkins looked around the room in confusion for a moment. The number of people in the room threw her off, but she simply squared her shoulders and forced everyone to stop whatever they were doing.

"Excuse me. Excuse me...would everyone except Mr. Fatone's close friends please leave?" she asked loudly. The noise level in the room dropped immediately and nearly everyone in the room searched for Johnny, each one of the silently asking him what they were supposed to do. Johnny's pronounced nod was all they needed and the lawyers and assistants filed out of the room one by one. The doctor sighed heavily as she reveled in the near silence of the waiting room. Justin and Lance stood as one, moving closer to the doctor. "I just wanted to let you know that visiting hours are over for tonight, so I suggest you all go home and get some more rest. Lord knows you will probably need it," she added with a small smile.

"What if Joey wakes up and asks for one of us, shouldn't one of us stay here just in case?" JC asked quickly; he didn't really want to leave Joey.

"Well, I'm not supposed to let you into his room after visiting hours, but I guess I can make an exception in Mr. Fatone's case. Since I assume you are offering to stay, Mr. Chase, I'll see to it that you are offered a bed for tonight and if Mr. Fatone asks for you, I'll make sure that you are allowed to see him," Dr. Jenkins replied sympathetically. She could see in JC's eyes how afraid he was of losing Joey and whatever comfort she could give him, she would give willingly, no matter what her superiors said later. JC sighed in relief and he gratefully thanked her. She nodded and excused herself from the room.

"So you are gonna stay here, Josh?" Justin asked softly.

"Yeah, I am," JC replied.

"Okay, well, Lance and I will take Chris home and we'll be back early tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Bye, JC. Bye, Johnny," Justin said as Lance pulled Chris from his seat and escorted him to the door.

"Wait here a minute before you leave," Johnny requested, "I want to talk to security and make sure all five of you are covered tonight." Johnny stepped out of the door, only to return five minutes later, four bodyguards in tow. "I've ordered a guard to stand outside of Joey's door all night and I want each of you to take a guard with you where ever you go, is that understood?" Johnny reiterated. "With all the press outside, I'm concerned about your safety." Lance nodded his understanding and continued towards the door, ushering Chris ahead of him. Justin followed Lance and Chris closely; he was uncomfortably aware of the fact that three bodyguards were right behind him, breathing down his neck. He didn't even know these guys, most of their regular security team was on break. No one had expected something like this to happen. As Lance reached around Chris to pull the door open, he came to a quick stop, causing a domino effect. Justin bumped into Lance, causing the closest bodyguard to bump roughly into Justin.

"Lance! Wha...oh," Justin sputtered once he spotted the cause of Lance's immobility. He would have turned and ran the other way if he thought it would have done any good. Officers Bartlett and Henson stood in front of Chris and Lance, stern frowns covering their faces.

"Um, hello officers. How are you doing this afternoon?" Lance managed to spit out. There was a sick feeling growing in his stomach. The looks on their faces announced the fact that they weren't happy at the moment. "We were just about to leave for the day..."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bass. We have a few more questions for all of you concerning the case. If you could stay a few more minutes, it would be greatly appreciated," Officer Bartlett asked politely. Both he and his partner stepped into the room, forcing the exiting group to back up. Henson shut the door behind him and stood beside Bartlett. Lance shared a concerned glance with Johnny, unsure of what he should do. Johnny simply shook his head, indicating that Lance should go along with whatever the officers did. He was ready to holler for the closest lawyer if one of the officers did something he didn't like.

"Alright, Officer. I'm sure we can stay a little longer," Lance conceded, as though he actually had the choice. Bartlett nodded and crossed his arms. He stared at the group in front of him for a moment, allowing the silence to become unnerving.

"Well, let's start with the fact that you have been lying to us..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There ya go guys. :) Yet another cliffhanger, but what can I say...I like cliffhangers. :) Let me know what y'all think. nsajscgirl@yahoo.com

Next: Chapter 12


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