This is a gay love story and is pure fiction. Warning - it contains explicit m/m sex.
Number Twenty Five
Over the next few months we are very busy and Luke and I have our work cut out to cope. Ryan gradually gets back to normal and we are at last enjoying sessions of wild sex again with each other and with Luke. Ryan has almost finished his latest book and the film is well on in production.
It's early September when Ryan has to go to Oxford. A fringe theatre is doing a stage production of his first book like the production in London and they want him to help them with various aspects. He decides to drive rather than go by train. I keep telling him he'd be better off using the train but he enjoys driving so likes to do such journeys every now and then.
His mum's estate has at last been wrapped up and since he was the only beneficiary everything came to him. He decides to sell the house and its contents since apart from a few personal items there's nothing he wants or that is suitable for the guesthouse or our flat.
As usual we kiss before he leaves and say we love each other. I watch him drive off and wave goodbye as he goes down the road. We've got four rooms occupied so it's fairly quiet but we've got a full house for Christmas and we know we have some more bookings for October and November.
Luke and I have just finished clearing up after breakfast and are just about to start doing the rooms when the front door bell sounds on my bleeper. I pick up the intercom phone from the corridor and a guy says it's the police and can they have a word. I look at Luke wondering what the hell they want so I quickly slip on a pair of shorts that I always have with me for such eventualities and make my way downstairs.
When I open the door there are two policemen standing there. One is a very good looking guy and for a moment I hardly take in what the other guy is saying.
"We'd like a word with James McCauley please"
"Oh, that's me" I say, suddenly realising what he's said.
"Can we come in then please?"
"Sure" I reply letting them come in through the door past me and into the reception area.
"Is there somewhere we can sit down and talk to you please?"
I lead them into the lounge area and they sit down.
"Are you alone?" the good looking guy then says.
"Err, no" I reply, "my colleague Luke who lives and works here is upstairs, we were just about to start cleaning the rooms" I prattle on.
"Could I suggest you ask him to join us before we go any further" he then says.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"Perhaps just ask Luke to join us first" the good looking guy says smiling sweetly.
I call Luke on the intercom and ask him to join me with the police immediately. I just hope he remembers to put some clothes on before he comes since I'd left him in his thong!
Within a couple of minutes he joins us and thankfully he's put a pair of shorts on. I notice the young good looking guy giving Luke the eye before the other one asks us both to sit down.
"Mr McCauley I'm afraid I've got some bad news. I believe you are the business partner and also the boyfriend of Ryan Palmer."
I feel my face drain of blood as I nod.
"Your partner was involved in a serious road accident early this morning and has been seriously injured"
"He's still alive is he?" Luke asks before I can take in what has been said.
"Yes, but he's in intensive care and is on the critical list. I suggest you go immediately to the hospital to see him; we can give you a lift if you want."
Luke says we would like to do that and asks the guys to hold on a minute whilst we both get dressed. They nod and Luke takes me up to the flat for me to put some clothes on.
"I'll go and dress James so see you back downstairs in a minute"
I grab a pair of jeans and a T shirt along with a jacket since the weather is getting cooler now, and go back downstairs. Within seconds Luke has joined us and the police guys lead us to their car parked outside.
"Is he going to be okay?" I ask as we drive along.
The guy not driving turns round to say he doesn't have any further information but the hospital will be able to tell us more. It appears that the accident occurred just outside Brighton and involved a vehicle going out of control. This caused a lorry going into the rear of Ryan's car and pushing him into another lorry. As such his car was crushed.
We get to the hospital and Luke thanks the two police guys for their help. They give Luke a number we can call later if we want more information about what happened. We then make our way into the main reception area and eventually find out where Ryan is being held. A nurse takes us along to his room but warns us that he's been heavily drugged so will not be aware we are there.
When we get into the room I am shocked at what I see before me. I immediately burst into tears as I look at my beautiful lover. I hardly recognise him. He's got an oxygen mask over his face and has tubes leading from almost every part of his body along with wires connecting him to a monitor which is clicking away nearby. His beautiful face is covered with cuts and bruises.
Luke and I sit either side of the bed and hold his hand. I want to take him into my arms and make him better but I can't get near enough to even kiss him because of the drips and tubes and the face mask. I squeeze his hand in the hope that he can sense I'm there for him. I feel so alone.
"Oh god, what has happened my love" I say out loud as the tears continue to pour down my face.
Luke moves to my side of the bed to put his arms round me. He tries to console me but I'm feeling just like Ryan felt when his mum died. Nothing can really get through.
Eventually the doctor comes in and speaks to us. He tells us that both of Ryan's legs have been broken and they think his spine has been injured.
"Until he is more able to tell us it is difficult to say what is wrong" the doctor tells us, "but he's also received serious internal injuries."
I look at the doctor hardly believing what I am hearing.
"Is he going to be okay?" is all I can ask.
"He's young so that is in his favour but it will very much depend on how bad his internal injuries are and in the longer term what injury he has sustained to his spine."
I spend the rest of that day sitting beside Ryan whilst Luke goes back home to see if Tim can come and help again at the guesthouse. This time it's Luke who takes everything under control whilst I just sit beside Ryan feeling so helpless.
Luke visits again that evening and tells me that Tim is coming in the following morning to help so not to worry about the guesthouse. I thank him and kiss him saying he's a wonderful man. We sit beside each other, me holding Ryan's hand and Luke holding mine.
Luke goes home and leaves me with Ryan. I stay all night and the next day. Luke visits again and we keep in touch by phone in the meantime. Messages of concern are pouring in apparently from friends who have heard or he has contacted.
The next day Ryan recognises me and smiles. My heart lifts and I kiss his hand as the tears once again roll down my face.
"Hi babe" he whispers.
I kiss his hand again and lean forward to kiss his forehead. He's still got an oxygen mask on so I can't kiss his lips yet. I call the nurse in to let him know that Ryan is awake and he calls the doctor. I have to leave whilst the doc does more tests on Ryan. When Luke arrives later the doctor takes us to one side.
"It looks as if he does have a spinal injury so he may not be able to walk again even assuming his legs get back to normal. We're still worried about the internal injuries but he does seem to be making some progress."
I ask the doctor to be completely honest about Ryan's chance of recovery. He tells me that it's fifty-fifty.
Luke and I return to Ryan and once again the floodgates open. I just can't imagine life without Ryan and I hold onto his hand as if that will stop him leaving me. Ryan is once again sedated so does not appear to be aware of my tears. Luke as usual is just wonderful. He hugs me and kisses me and tells me to keep strong for Ryan's sake.
Two days later, Ryan does seem to be making some progress. He no longer needs the oxygen mask permanently on his face and he's able to speak to me reasonably okay. I can tell that he's in pain from his legs and possibly from the internal injuries but Ryan is an obstinate fucker so tries to ignore it all for my benefit.
When Luke comes in late morning, Ryan suggests I go and get something to eat.
"You look terrible babe" he tells me, "go and get some food; I need you to be strong".
I look at him and then at Luke who nods in agreement with Ryan.
"I'll stay with him James so go and get some food"
I do as instructed and go to the cafeteria downstairs. Somehow I force myself to eat something but I don't really enjoy it. When I return, Ryan tells me to sit down beside him. He takes my hand and holds Luke's who has gone to the other side of the bed.
"I want to ask you something James" he says.
I look at him wondering what he is about to say.
"As you know, after my mum died I changed my will so that everything comes to you; the business, the property and my money, but if I don't get through this I want to leave you in an even better position."
I look at him and feel the tears running down my face again.
"I'd like you to marry me, or to be more correct, become my Civil Partner" Ryan then says.
I look at him as if he's gone mad. How can he think about marriage when he's in this state? Before I can say anything, Luke chips in.
"If you are Ryan's legal partner James, his estate will save a large amount of inheritance tax. It also saves other complications and will entitle you to future royalties from Ryan's books and films."
"Will you do that for me James?" Ryan then asks.
I nod as the tears to continue to fall and eventually say "I will if that's what you want".
"It is babe so Luke is going to speak to the Registrar to see when we can do it"
I look at Luke and he smiles at me, "It's what Ryan wants James and I'm sure we can organise it".
"Okay" I squeak still crying and holding Ryan's hand. I then stand up, lean over him to kiss him on the lips. "I love you so much Ryan" I manage to say.
"I love you babe" Ryan replies when I've finished kissing him.
Luke then leaves us to see what he can arrange.
When he returns that evening, he tells us that he spoke to the doctor on his way out earlier and the doctor said Ryan was in sound mind to go through the ceremony. He'd also spoken to the Registrar who'd agreed to undertake the ceremony as a special case provided on the day the doctor was still of the opinion that Ryan was of sound mind.
The ceremony had been fixed for eleven in the morning the day after next. I stay yet again with Ryan that night and the following day but the next evening, Ryan tells me to go home to get some rest.
"I want to marry a guy who is awake and knows what he's doing" he smiles.
I couldn't argue with him so I go back home with Luke. I couldn't sleep on my own knowing that Ryan was possibly dying so I sleep with Luke in his flat. The following morning, Mike and Tim arrive. Tim is to hold the fort at the guesthouse whilst Mike comes with us to be a witness. Luke is the other witness since we need two.
When we get to the hospital, Ryan is still looking reasonably okay so when the Registrar arrives and obtains the doctor's agreement that Ryan is fully aware of what he's doing, the process proceeds. It's very simple and not at all what I'd hoped for since Ryan and I had briefly talked about doing this before but had never actually got round to doing it. There seemed so much time ahead of us that neither of us thought there was any rush.
"I now pronounce you Civil Partners" I was suddenly aware of the Registrar saying. I get up and give Ryan a kiss and the others quietly clap. The Registrar leaves and says I can collect the official certificate of partnership from his office later.
"We'll leave you guys alone now" Luke says as he and Mike get up to go.
I thank them both and say that I'll be home later. Ryan and I sit holding each other's hands for the next few hours hardly saying anything. I can see he's tired so I suggest I leave him for a while to rest and come back later. He nods and forms a kiss. I kiss his hand and leave but as soon as I'm outside the floodgates open again.
"You okay?" a rather nice looking male nurse asks me.
I'm fairly certain he's gay and knows of course that Ryan and I are.
"It's just a bit too much for me at present" I sob.
"I understand" he says kindly and then leads me into a small room where he sits me down. "Let me get you a nice cup of tea" he then says and goes over to a machine to get one out. Having given it to me, he then sits down beside me and holds my hand.
"You need to be strong for Ryan's sake" he says gently.
I nod and wipe my tears away, "Yeah I know but I love him so much and I can't bear losing him" I wail.
"I know" he says patting my hand, "but somehow you'll get through this, just be strong."
I nod again knowing he's right. He asks me if I'm okay to get home and I tell him I am. On my way I call in to the Registrar's office and collect our certificates of Civil Partnership; one for me and one for Ryan.
When Luke and I return to see Ryan that evening I show him the certificate and he smiles.
"Thank you" is all he says squeezing my hand.
Over the next three days Ryan seems to continue in much the same way. He doesn't get any stronger but he doesn't appear to be getting worse. I go home each evening feeling slightly more confident that I will eventually have him home again although the signs are that it will be in a wheelchair. How the hell we are going to cope with that I haven't even begun to work out but tell Luke that we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
On the fourth morning after our ceremony I receive a call from the hospital. Ryan has taken a turn for the worse so they ask me to go in immediately. Luke and I drop everything and leave poor Tim to continue preparing breakfast for the three guests we have. Luke has explained the situation and they are very understanding so I'm not worried.
We get to the hospital and find Ryan looking terrible. I hardly recognise him. It seems he has taken a sudden turn for the worse during the night. The doctor says that he's bleeding internally very badly and there's nothing that can be done to stem the flow.
Luke and I sit with Ryan for the rest of that morning and into the afternoon. Neither of us wants to leave his side for a second. Ryan never gains consciousness again but I continue squeezing his hand just in case he does realise I am still with him.
Ryan finally passes away at precisely two o'clock that afternoon. I am numb with feeling. I don't even have the energy to cry. The doctor confirms the time of death and leaves me and Luke with Ryan for a few moments. After a while the very kind male nurse who'd sat with me after our ceremony, leads the pair of us out.
"I suggest you go home and come back again tomorrow to collect Ryan's personal items and the paperwork you need" he tells Luke.
We go home and Luke takes me up to his flat. He pulls me into his arms and I sob and sob. I don't know how long I do so but his T shirt is sopping wet by the time he finally leads me to the bedroom, undresses me and gets me into bed.
For a while I just lie there wondering how I'm going to live my life without Ryan.
The sequel to 'Number Twenty Five' will be available shortly. Look out for 'Life after Ryan'
I welcome comments so feel free to do so by sending me an email.
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Other stories by Adam Stewart: Moving Forward Love at Last Gary's Story Finding Ryan The Advert