Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you.
I know many of you feel that this story is getting on the depressing side, but I want to assure you that things are going to get back on a lighter tone. I put them all in that dark place now so that leading them to the light will bring on fresher and fun storylines.
So hope you all enjoy. Here's part 15 entitled, 'Starting Over'
'STARTING OVER'
It's been two weeks since Ryan left, two weeks since Nick broke up with Adrian, and two more weeks of drinking for Leo. Kurt was very upset for a week, but decided to try and hide his pain and try to focus on the positive in his life, today was the best day to do it. It was his first day at West Coast Style magazine. Nick has since refocused on work and has been carefully watching over Leo.
It was a Monday morning. Kurt decided to not let his worry for Leo get in the way of his first day of work.
It was a new start for him, he was newly single, and at a new job. He did everything he could to push aside the fact that he missed Ryan terribly and was going to do his best at work. He came into the office at nine AM and went to his office which was a couple doors down from Reese's office. Kurt really wasn't even supposed to have an office, but being friends with the editor gave a few perks here and there. Not only did he get an office, but Reese welcomed Kurt a two bags full of men clothes that designers have sent to the magazine in hopes to get photographed. So far, it was not a bad first day for him.
Kurt was sitting in his office going over old issues of West Coast Style to get a good feel of the tone he should have in his writings when Reese came in.
"How's it going?" Reese asked.
"Good," Kurt replied. "Everyone here is really nice, the clothes you gave me are amazing, and this office is great."
"Glad to hear it," Reese said sitting down in a chair across from Kurt's desk. "So are you ready for your first assignment?"
"Definitely," Kurt answered eager to start working.
"All right," Reese said handing Kurt some photographs of models wearing some of the latest trends in clothing, "For men, the big trends right now are the return of cardigans, full cut pants, and thin ties for example. I want you to write about your thoughts on them and how to make them work for people. Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Kurt nodded looking at the photographs. "So cardigans are in huh?"
"Oh, cardigans are huge now," Reese said, "It's bringing back that classic look. The emo look is over, it's time to get back to basics."
"All right," Kurt said. "I'll see what I can come up with."
"Great," Reese said getting up, "So, how are things with the boyfriend?"
"Non-existent," Kurt sighed, "He left a couple weeks ago."
"Oh I'm so sorry," Reese said, "Mind if I ask why?"
"Long story," Kurt replied.
"How are you holding up?" Reese asked.
"I have my bad days," Kurt replied, "And then my days that aren't so bad."
"Well how about we go out to eat tonight to celebrate your first day?" Reese asked.
Kurt nodded, "I guess I can do that. I could use a night out."
"Great," Reese said, "After work we'll go eat at Houston's."
"Sounds good," Kurt replied.
Reese left the office as Kurt got to work on his first story for West Coast Style. Meanwhile, Nick went over to Kurt and Leo's place to check up on Leo. Inside the apartment Leo was throwing his bottles of alcohol in a trash bag when he heard keys unlocking the front door. He quickly threw the bag of alcohol in his closet and came outside to the living room when Nick walked in.
"Hey," Leo said nervously, hoping he wasn't obvious about hiding anything.
"Hey Leo," Nick said.
"What's up? What are you doing here?" Leo asked.
"I just came by to hang out with you," Nick replied. "It's been a while since we did that."
"Has it?" Leo asked as he tried to make himself seem upbeat and happy.
"Yeah," Nick replied. "You haven't really talked to me since that party a few weeks ago."
"Well, you didn't exactly seem like you were to fond of me that night," Leo pointed out.
"Leo, I was just worried about you," Nick said, "I still am."
"Why?" Leo asked. "Look at me, I'm fine."
"Are you really?" Nick asked.
"Absolutely," Leo lied. "If I had a problem, don't you think I'd come to you about it?"
"No," Nick replied. "Not if you're having a problem you don't want us to know about. Do you?"
"What do you mean?" Leo asked.
"Leo, you seem to not really be dealing with Jesse," Nick replied.
"I'm fine with it," Leo dismissed, "I moved on."
"Already?" Nick asked. "After the accident you didn't leave his bedside for a month. Now suddenly you're over it?"
"Yes," Leo replied.
"How'd you do that?" Nick asked.
"I found a way to put him out of my mind," Leo replied.
"Just like that?" Nick asked.
"Just like that," Leo affirmed.
"And you're sure you're okay?" Nick asked.
"Positive," Leo answered. "I appreciate you stopping by, but I really have some things I need to do today."
"All right," Nick said giving Leo a hug, "Call me later okay?"
"Okay," Leo replied.
"I'll see you," Nick said as he left. After Nick left Leo went and grabbed his keys and headed out.
Back at West Coast Style, Kurt was mid-way through his first article. He felt this was really good stuff, he was funny and witty in his writing and felt it had a good feel with the tone of the magazine.
"Kurt, there's been a delivery for you," Frank, the receptionist said as he came in with a bouquet of flowers.
"This person found me here on my first day?" Kurt asked in shock.
"Who?" Frank asked.
"Oh, it's nothing," Kurt said taking the flowers, "Thanks Frank."
Frank left Kurt's office, Kurt took the flowers and set them on his desk and took out the card. 'Loving you from afar. You'll know me soon.'
Kurt sighed to himself, getting real fed up with these mystery gifts. He took the vase of flowers and threw them in the trash. After Kurt sat back down at his desk Reese came into his office to see how the article was coming.
"I'm half way done," Kurt said as he was reading over what he had so far.
"Great, now Kurt, I really want you to work with the style coordinators too. They are your partners in crime with your editorials, okay?"
"All right," Kurt replied.
"I'll come back later to see your progress," Reese said.
"Thanks," Kurt replied.
Reese was heading out when he saw the flowers in the trash.
"Uh oh," Reese said, "Gift from the ex?"
"No," Kurt replied. "Gift from some mystery person who's been sending me gifts for the past few week."
"You don't know who it is?" Reese asked.
"No," Kurt replied. "And each time there's a card telling me how much this person loves me."
"Who do you think it could be?" Reese asked.
"I wish I knew," Kurt sighed. "It's really starting to piss me off. If this person doesn't have to balls to tell me he loves me then he should just leave me alone."
"Well, maybe this person is just trying to be romantic," Reese floated that idea.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to give it a nicer spin so you don't get so worked up over it," Reese said, "Be flattered someone cares about you that much."
Reese left the room leaving Kurt alone to think if maybe he had a point. Maybe instead of getting annoyed he should be flattered someone loves him. A secret admirer. But where Kurt was now, this person could be the greatest guy in the world and Kurt wouldn't care, because he's still in love with Ryan. Kurt reached into his briefcase and pulled out a picture of him and Ryan from Christmas. Kurt set the photo next to his computer and admired it.
"I love you Ryan," Kurt sighed looking at the picture.
Kurt then went back to work.
Leo drove for about ten minutes before he arrived at his destination, Jesse's apartment. Jesse had given him a key before the accident so Leo would go in and be there all day. Leo walked into his apartment and looked all over and sighed, it was just as Jesse had left it, it looked as if the owner of the apartment wasn't in a coma, but simply out for a bit. Jesse's parents bought the apartment after the accident because in the chance that he woke up again they wanted to make sure Jesse would have a place to stay. Leo went into Jesse's bedroom, on the dresser by the bed there was a big framed picture of him and Jesse together. He laid down Jesse's bed thinking of the times he spent in that bed with Jesse, holding each other, loving each other. He tried his best to face his memories with Jesse instead of resorting to drinking when he thought of him. He thought coming to Jesse's place would help him, but it only made it worse. He quickly left the apartment to get a drink. He had work later that night but decided to just have a couple drinks before he went in.
That night after Kurt finished his article he and Reese were getting ready to go eat.
"Well, it's a lot different from what I usually write, but I think it's all right," Kurt said.
"I'm sure it's fine. I'll look over it tomorrow," Reese gave Kurt an encouraging hug. "Come on, lets go eat."
The two arrived at Houston's and sat down at their table and ordered some drinks.
"I still can't believe you're back," Kurt said sincerely happy to see an old friend again.
"Well, when I was working in New York, it was a lot of fun," Reese said, "Made some great friends, I'll miss Adrian and Neal, but I never felt I was going to get anywhere working at Fashion. Once you're in a position there, there really isn't much room to move up. So when my friend hooked me up with an interview for West Coast Style, I knew it was just something I had to do. It's better for me, career-wise."
"And you get to have me bug you all the time," Kurt joked.
"I'll admit, you were a definite perk about coming back here," Reese said, "And when that editorial position opened up, I knew you had to have it."
"Well thank you," Kurt said, "This is a really great opportunity for me."
"I'm just glad you agreed," Reese said giving Kurt's hand a squeeze. "And I have to admit, I do still sometimes think about our little thing in Vegas."
"Really?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, it was a wish fulfilled for me," Reese said.
Kurt smiled politely, but inside was feeling uncomfortable with it.
"You think you might want to go out again sometime?" Reese asked.
Kurt was silent.
"Or maybe I should have asked this question later to keep from making the rest of our dinner being awkward," Reese added in feeling like an idiot.
"Oh no," Kurt said quickly, "It's not that."
"So are you interested?" Reese asked hopeful.
"Reese, I would say yes," Kurt replied, "I'll admit that there's always been a certain thing between us."
"I sense a 'but' coming in," Reese said.
"But, I just got out of a relationship with someone and I'm just not ready," Kurt said.
"I'm not trying to rush you," Reese said, "Maybe just start out slow, work our way towards that. What do you think?"
"Maybe," Kurt said coyly, "Is that good enough for now?"
"I'll take it," Reese smiled.
The two spent the rest of the evening catching up on old times and enjoying each others company. It was the first night that Kurt really felt he'd be okay since Ryan left.
Later that night after Kurt got home he had Nick come over to talk about his first day.
"Leo here?" Nick asked.
"I don't know, I knocked on his door, but he didn't answer," Kurt replied.
Kurt went to the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of wine he had in there, but when he opened it he found that it was gone.
"My wine is gone," Kurt said closing the refrigerator door.
"You didn't drink it?" Nick asked.
"No," Kurt replied. "I don't drink wine unless it's to celebrate."
"Well I had a long day of doing nothing but work, I can use some hard liquor if you have any," Nick suggested sitting down at the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, I should have some scotch here in the cabinet," Kurt said going to the cabinet by the refrigerator, but when he opened it up he saw that the bottle of scotch he had in there was gone too. "That's gone also."
"Really?" Nick asked curious.
"That's weird," Kurt replied.
Nick then had a sinking feeling he knew what happened to it. He got up and went over to Leo's room.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked.
"I think I know where your alcohol went," Nick replied opening the door to Leo's room. When they walked in they were shocked at how messy it was in there.
"Wow," Kurt said looking around the room, "Leo's usually so clean."
"Well he hasn't exactly been himself," Nick pointed out.
"True, but this is gross," Kurt commented picking up some of Leo's dirty clothes, "I'm going to do his laundry."
"I think I found something," Nick said pulling out a heavy trash bag filled up. He opened it up and dumped out tons and tons of bottles. It was enough to satisfy a large party and the fact that it was all consumed by just Leo scared Nick and Kurt.
"Oh my God," Kurt said gravely. "How could I not have noticed this?"
"It's not your fault," Nick said. "Leo just obviously needs help."
"He's not going to get help if he doesn't want it," Kurt pointed out.
"Then we'll have an intervention," Nick floated, "I don't care what we have to do, but we're going to make sure he gets help."
Nick picked up his cell phone and tried calling him, but Leo didn't pick up. Frustrated, Nick then put on his jacket and grabbed his keys.
"Where are you going?" Kurt asked.
"To find him," Nick replied.
"Nick, he could be anywhere," Kurt said, "You'll be looking all night."
"With the way it looks I'll probably find him at a bar or liquor store," Nick said.
"Hold on, I'll go look to," Kurt said putting his jacket on.
"No, stay here," Nick said, "If he comes back, call me."
"I don't want you out there looking for him by yourself," Kurt said, "I'll feel completely helpless here."
"Kurt, I don't have time to argue with you on this," Nick said, the 'big brother' attitude kicking in, "Just stay here."
"Promise me you'll be careful?" Kurt sighed.
"I promise," Nick replied giving Kurt a hug. "I'll call you if I find him."
"You better," Kurt said as Nick closed the door to leave.
Nick spent the rest of the night looking around the city. Anywhere he could think of that Leo might be. He first started with the restaurant Leo works at, but they said he didn't show up for his shift. He then went to Melrose and checked out all the restaurants and bars in the area. With no luck he proceeded to look at liquor stores around the area they lived, but no luck. At around three in the morning he got a call from Kurt.
"Anything?" Kurt asked hopeful.
"No," Nick replied.
"Where did you look?" Kurt asked.
"Everywhere, the restaurant, bars and restaurants we've been too, liquor stores in our area," Nick sighed.
"I'm really worried Nick," Kurt said, "What if something happened to him? What if he's hurt?"
"Can you think of any place he might be?" Nick asked not giving up.
"Have you tried the hospital?" Kurt asked.
"I'm sure he's not hurt," Nick replied.
"No, do you think he's with Jesse?" Kurt asked.
Nick shook his head, he couldn't believe he didn't think of that, "Kurt, you're brilliant. I'll call you in a bit."
Nick hung up the phone and drove to the hospital. When he got there he realized visiting hours were over, but he had to try. Luckily when he walked in one of the nurses on duty was one that he'd gotten to know during the month when Leo came everyday.
"Hey you," the nurse said, "Long time no see."
"I know," Nick said, "Is Leo here?"
"Leo?" the nurse asked, "No, he hasn't been here for quite some time."
"What?" Nick asked curious, he thought that Leo would show up every now and then to check on Jesse.
"Just one day he stopped showing up," the nurse replied.
"Are you serious?" Nick asked.
"Yeah," the nurse replied, "It's funny, he used to be here every day and now nothing."
"I can't believe it," Nick said to himself.
"I'm sorry honey," the nurse said.
"Thanks," Nick said as he turned and left the hospital defeated. Nick called Kurt and told him he had no luck. The two decided to just call it a night and look again tomorrow. Neither one slept well that night, Kurt would wake up and go check in Leo's room, but found he wasn't there. Nick tossed and turned frustrated, angry, sad, worried, he was full of emotions. Nick was mostly thinking of what the nurse said about Leo not visiting anymore, he knew that his drinking and not visiting Jesse were related, but he wasn't sure what Leo was trying to do. Was he trying to just move on and forget about Jesse? Or was he just dealing with the pain?
The next day Nick got woken up by his phone ringing.
"Hello?" Nick asked answering.
"Is this Nick?" a male voice asked.
"Yes, who's this?" Nick asked.
"My name's John. I'm a co-worker of Leo's. He's here with me now at the restaurant and needs someone to pick him up."
"He's there?" Nick asked, "How did he get there? When did he get there?"
"I guess he's been here in the restaurant the whole night, we found him passed out behind the bar when we came in this morning," John said. "Luckily we got here before the manager, so he won't get in trouble, but you should hurry and pick him up."
"How'd you guys know to call me?" Nick asked.
"Your name was the only one he said when we asked him who can come get him," John said. "We got your number off his cell."
"I'll be right there," Nick said hanging up. He grabbed his car keys and went to the restaurant. When he got there Leo was sitting down at a table laying his head down. He went up to Leo and tapped him on the shoulder. Leo opened his eyes and looked up to see Nick looking down at him in disappointment.
"Hi," Leo groaned.
"Come on," Nick said getting Leo up. "Lets go."
He helped Leo get up and outside. When Leo reached outside he pushed away from Nick and hurried to the bushes outside the doors to the restaurant and threw up. When he was done he wiped his mouth and then headed to Nick's car. When he sat down inside he closed his eyes and rested his head back.
"You're welcome," Nick said starting the car.
"Thanks for picking me up," Leo sighed.
"What the hell were you doing drinking all night?" Nick asked. "Do you have any idea how worried Kurt and I were about you? I was out the whole night looking for you and Kurt stayed up waiting for you to come home."
"I was just out," Leo replied. "It's nothing serious."
"Yes, it is serious," Nick said, "How did you get into the restaurant anyway?"
"I have a key," Leo said.
"You're lucky your co-workers covered your ass," Nick said, "Otherwise you'd be out of a job."
"I don't care," Leo said.
"Leo, you have a drinking problem. Kurt and I saw the bottles in your room."
"You went looking through my room?" Leo asked angrily.
"When we noticed that Kurt's alcohol was missing we added it to the fact that you've been acting strange and put two and two together," Nick said.
"How dare you go through my room," Leo snapped.
"Don't try getting mad at us," Nick said, "Explain all those bottles of alcohol you had in your room."
"I don't have to explain anything to you," Leo said. "I am not an alcoholic!"
"Yes you are," Nick said.
"I may like a drink now and then, but that does not make me an alcoholic," Leo retorted.
"You call a trash bag full of empty alcohol bottles 'drinking now and then'?" Nick asked.
"This is because of Jesse right?" Nick asked.
"Don't mention his name," Leo said, "Don't say his name."
"Why?" Nick asked, "Why haven't you gone to see him at all?"
"You told me not to!" Leo said.
"I told you not to go there everyday and neglect to live your life," Nick said, "I didn't say to just forget about him completely."
"Well that's what I'm trying to do," Leo shrugged.
"I'm taking you to see Jesse."
Nick called Kurt and told him to meet them at the hospital.
"What?" Leo panicked, "No, I can't. Don't take me there!"
Nick didn't say anything he just proceeded to drive to the hospital. When Nick parked Leo tried to get out and get away from the hospital, but Nick grabbed him and the two went inside.
"I don't want to go," Leo frantically said as Nick dragged him down the hallway.
"You need to," Nick said.
"Why are you taking me here?" Leo asked.
"For your own good," Nick replied.
When Nick and Leo got to Jesse's room Kurt was already waiting for them inside. Nick dragged Leo inside who was doing everything he could to not enter that room. Once he was inside Nick forced Leo to look at Jesse.
"Look at him," Nick said holding Leo. Leo kept his eyes closed. "Dammit! Look at him!"
"No," Leo shouted. "I can't."
"Leo, look at him," Nick said one last time. This time, Leo complied and looked at Jesse. Leo looked at him in horror, Jesse was still laying there, helpless, tubes stuck up his nose, IV's in his arms. Leo tried looking away, but Nick forced him to look at Jesse. "Look at Jesse, do you think Jesse wants to see you this way? You're disgusting. Is this how you want to honor Jesse? By becoming an alcoholic?"
Nick then turned Leo to a mirror and forced Leo to look at himself. "Look at you Leo. This person you are seeing in the mirror isn't you. The Leo I know is high spirited, full of love and life. What happened to him?"
"You two have no idea how hard this is," Leo said turning to face both Nick and Kurt, "I tried dealing with it, but whenever I thought of him the memories just became too much and I had to drown them out. I can't do anything when I think of him. He was everything to me and now he's gone! He haunts my every waking moment. The only way I can get a moments peace is when I drink. I need to drink. It's the only thing that helps me."
"So is that why you're drinking?" Kurt asked. "You want to forget Jesse?"
"Yes," Leo replied. "Just for once, I don't want him consuming my thoughts. I can't move on with my life if he's always there in my mind."
"Leo, you can't just erase him," Nick said, "Yes he's in a coma and I'm sorry, but you can still honor him and your memories with him. You don't need to erase him to move on."
"It's too hard moving on if he's always there with me in my mind," Leo cried. "I don't come here anymore because I see him just laying there and I don't understand why he can't just wake up and be with me again."
"I know," Kurt said putting his arm around Leo, "I wish he could Leo, but he can't and you have to accept that."
"Leo, you've experience something with Jesse that so few people get to experience in their lives." Nick began, "You got to have true love. You know how many people would kill to have just a moment of what you had with him? You and Jesse were in love and that love should be honored."
Leo turned to look at Jesse laying helplessly in the hospital bed.
"Sure he may not be with you physically," Nick continued, "But you know he's always with you in here." Nick put his hand over Leo's heart. Immediately Leo thought of the dream he had with Jesse in it a while back when Jesse told him that he'd always be in his heart.
Leo began sobbing as Nick and Kurt held onto him tightly.
"I miss him so much," Leo cried. "I can't do this with out him. I need him. I need him back."
Leo, Nick and Kurt spent the next two hours in Jesse's hospital room, Leo was crying into their arms.
To Be Continued...
With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!