Phases

Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you.

Here's part 29 entitled "Going Forward"

'GOING FORWARD'

It was late at night and Jesse was sleeping soundly in his bed.

Jesse's Dream

It was Christmas, and Leo and Jesse were waking up in bed together.

"Merry Christmas," Leo said giving Jesse a kiss.

"Merry Christmas," Jesse replied.

"I have a present for you," Leo said.

"Oh yeah?" Jesse asked. "But you already gave me a gift last night when we were at Kurt's place."

"I know, but this is something that I wanted to give you when we were alone together," Leo said getting out of bed and grabbing a present from under the Christmas tree.

"I don't have another gift for you though," Jesse sighed.

"You're all the gift I need," Leo said sincerely giving Jesse a kiss.

"Thanks babe," Jesse said as he began to unwrap the present. When he opened up the box he found an old t-shirt inside.

"Do you like it?" Leo asked.

"It's an old t-shirt," Jesse said confused.

"You don't recognize it?" Leo asked.

"Should I?" Jesse asked taking another look at the t-shirt.

"That was the shirt I was wearing when we first met," Leo replied. "The t-shirt you spilt my beer all over."

"Oh my God," Jesse said remembering, "You saved it?"

"Yeah, that night there was a certain click that happened between us," Leo said. "I knew from that night that we would be in this for the long run."

Jesse smiled, truly touched at the sentimental value Leo gave that old shirt.

"I love you," Jesse said giving Leo a kiss.

"I love you too," Leo replied kissing him back. "That's the first time we ever said that to each other."

"I know," Jesse said. "It felt so good saying it."

"It did," Leo agreed.

"I love you," Jesse said again to hear those words come out of his mouth.

Leo laughed, "I love you too."

"I love this man!" Jesse said loudly as he grabbed Leo and the two fell on the bed together kissing one another as they started to undress

Leo and Jesse were dancing together at the club. The music was jamming and the two never lost eye contact with one another, they danced very closely with one another and kissed passionately between dances. After dancing most of the night away the two left the club around two in the morning.

"Thanks so much for tonight," Leo said holding Jesse's hand as they walked to the car.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun," Jesse said kissing Leo on the forehead.

"I'm not even tired," Leo said.

"Me neither," Jesse said giving Leo a mischievous smile.

"Lets hurry home," Leo said, knowing full well what Jesse wanted to do the rest of the night.

The two got in Jesse's car and headed home. As they pulled out of the parking lot they came to a stop light. The two were both looking at each other so lovingly, Jesse reached over and held his hand. When the light turned green they went and didn't have enough time to brace themselves when headlights came racing towards them before slamming into the car.

Jesse then shot up out of bed in a cold sweat. Was that the accident that took him into his coma? Luckily he had an appointment with a therapist the next morning to try and help him regain his memory back.

The next day Nick was sitting in his kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. He was reading the newspaper when there was a knock on his door. When he was surprised to see Luke standing there with a big smile on his face.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" Nick asked.

"I came to see the man I love," Luke replied romantically.

"Luke, we both know how we feel about each other, but Wayne-" Nick began, but Luke cut him off.

"He won't be a problem," Luke replied.

"What? How do you know that?" Nick asked.

"Leo, Kurt and I took care of it yesterday," Luke replied.

"You, Kurt and Leo?" Nick asked surprised. "What did you three do?"

"It doesn't matter," Luke said. "All that matters is that we're going to make sure that he doesn't interfere with our relationship again."

"Luke, are you sure?" Nick asked. "Because the last thing I want is for Wayne to come in and mess with our lives."

"He won't," Luke promised. "I'll make sure of it and more surprisingly Leo will make sure of it."

"Leo?" Nick asked, "Are you two friends?"

"Yeah," Luke replied. "He actually was very instrumental in making sure that Wayne wouldn't be a problem to us. So what do you say? Can we give this a third shot?"

"You know what they say," Nick smiled, "Third times the charm."

Nick and Luke then began to kiss, happy to be back in one another's arms.

"You want to come inside?" Nick asked.

"I actually have to stop by work real quick," Luke replied. "My editor wants to talk to me real quick and then I'll come back."

"All right," Nick said. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Luke said giving Nick a goodbye kiss. "I'll see you later."

Nick closed the door and quickly called up Kurt and Leo.

"Those sneaky little bastards," Nick laughed to himself while the phone was ringing.

"Hello?" Kurt answered the phone.

"You and Leo, get your butts over here," Nick said pretending to be angry.

"We in trouble?" Kurt asked.

"Just come over," Nick replied before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Leo asked coming out of his room.

"Nick, wants us to get over there right away," Kurt said. "I think we're in trouble."

"In trouble?" Leo asked. "What did we do?"

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "We better just get over there."

"I'm scarred," Leo said.

"I know, what can he be so pissed at us about?" Kurt asked.

"Do you think that Luke tried getting back together with him and it didn't go well?" Leo asked.

"Let's just get over there and we'll find out," Kurt said as he put his jacket on and grabbed his keys, "I'll drive."

When Kurt and Leo got to Nick's place they both nervously knocked on the door. When Nick opened the door they both put on big smiles to try and lighten the mood, but Nick gave them a very serious look.

"Come in," Nick said.

They both entered very quietly.

"So what's up Nick?" Leo asked nervously. Kurt and Leo both held each other's hands tightly.

"Sit down," Nick said pointing to the couch in the living room.

"I think we'll stand," Kurt smiled.

"Closer to the door preferably," Leo added.

"Fine," Nick said sitting down on the couch by himself.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Kurt asked, "Is Leo in trouble?"

"Me? Why are you trying to put all the blame on me?" Leo asked giving Kurt a shove.

"Well it's usually you two fighting anyway," Kurt defended.

"Why do you think I would be upset?" Nick asked clearly enjoying seeing the two of them squirm a bit.

"You tell us," Kurt said.

"Did you hear from Luke?" Leo asked.

"Yes," Nick nodded. "He came by this morning."

"And?" Kurt asked.

"He told me what happened," Nick replied. "And there's one thing I have to say to you two for meddling the way you did."

"Oh?" Leo asked.

"Thank you," Nick said showing a smile.

"Huh?" Kurt asked, "Were you just putting us on this whole time?"

"Yeah," Nick asked laughing.

"You jerk," Leo laughed, going up and tackling Nick to the ground.

"You're such a punk," Kurt said grabbing a pillow from the couch and hitting Nick with it. Nick then grabbed Kurt's legs and dragged him to the ground with him and Leo. The three laughed and wrestled with each other.

Meanwhile, Jesse was sitting in his therapist's office. Her name was Dr. Walton, had a very sweet look about her, she was about mid-40's and spoke very gently that made one feel instantly comfortable.

"So Jesse, I want you to lie down on the couch and just close your eyes," Dr. Walton said. "Just relax and let your mind wander."

"Have you had luck with this stuff in the past?" Jesse asked.

"Yes," Dr. Walton replied. "Quite a few times actually."

"So do you think those dreams I had were memories, or just dreams?" Jesse asked.

"For that you should talk to your friend Leo about it since he was very prominent in both dreams," Dr. Walton said. "He may be able to help you out."

"Okay," Jesse said as he laid down and closed his eyes.

"Now just relax," Dr. Walton said. "What's the last thing you can vividly remember?"

"I remember my high school graduation," Jesse said. "But everything after that is hazy."

"Hazy? Do you remember bits and pieces or nothing at all?" Dr. Walton asked.

"I think I might, but then I think that it just might be dreams," Jesse replied.

"Have you had dreams like the one you had last night before?" Dr. Walton asked.

"A few," Jesse said. "But I didn't know what to think about them."

"Why don't you tell me about them?" Dr. Walton asked.

Jesse then started to think back to his other dreams to tell Dr. Walton about.

Later that day, Kurt was sitting at Leo's desk at the Gay and Lesbian Center reading a book while he was waiting for Leo to finish doing some stuff before the two were going to go and see Jesse later on.

"Hey babe," Kurt answered.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Gabriel asked.

"Great actually," Kurt replied. "Leo and I helped Nick get back together with Luke."

"That's great," Gabriel said. "I'm happy for them."

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Gabriel answered, "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Kurt said.

"I have the next few days off after today so I'm going to come back tomorrow," Gabriel said.

"Really?! That's great!" Kurt said happily.

While they were talking Ryan walked into the office and Kurt's eyes immediately grew wide in shock.

"Ryan," Kurt said quietly.

"What?" Gabriel asked.

"I'm sorry Gab, I have to go. I'll call you later," Kurt replied.

"Love you," Gabriel said.

"Love you too," Kurt replied hanging up. "Ryan, what are you doing here?"

"I just came to say hey to Leo, I didn't know you'd be here," Ryan said.

"Oh, well he's in one of the other rooms doing some work," Kurt said.

"All right," Ryan said starting to leave, but he then turned back and went inside the office and closed the door to talk to Kurt privately.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt, we need to talk," Ryan replied.

"Not now Ryan," Kurt said.

"Yes, now," Ryan said. "Kurt, this is stupid, you and I both know we still love each other."

"Ryan, you're with Dan now and I'm with Gab," Kurt said. "Even if I did tell you I still love you it wouldn't matter, we're with other people now."

"Kurt, you and I were both with other people when we first started getting feelings for each other," Ryan said. "Remember? You were with Scott and I was with Craig. That didn't stop us then, why should it now?"

"That was different," Kurt replied.

"How?" Ryan asked.

"It just was," Kurt weakly answered.

"No, it wasn't," Ryan said. "It's the same thing and you know it."

"No, the difference now is that Gab has let me into his heart," Kurt said. "You never fully did. If you had just once opened your heart up to me, then we might still be together."

"I am right now," Ryan said. "Me standing here and telling you I still love you and still want to be with you. I'm opening up to you now and I'm asking you to give us another chance."

"Ryan, why couldn't you say any of this to me before I got with Gab?" Kurt asked.

"Well I'm saying it now," Ryan said. "I'm sorry that I didn't let you in before, but I want to now."

"Well it's a little late," Kurt said.

"It's never too late," Ryan replied. "All you have to say is tell me you love me still too."

"What about Dan?" Kurt asked.

"Dan is great," Ryan replied. "But he's not you."

"Ryan," Kurt sighed.

"Kurt, just tell me, do you still love me?" Ryan asked.

"I can't do this now," Kurt replied.

"Don't run away from me," Ryan pleaded. "Please Kurt. I know I messed up before, but I'm here now telling you I love you. We're meant to be together, you know that."

"Hey Kurt, I'm almost done here," Leo said walking into the office, he then saw Ryan standing in front of Kurt. From the look on their faces he knew that he was walking in on an intense conversation. "Oh, I'll leave you two alone."

"No," Kurt said quickly. "We're done for now."

"No, we're not," Ryan said.

"Yes, we are," Kurt said.

"Can you just give us one minute please Leo?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah sure," Leo replied quickly leaving

"Please Kurt," Ryan said after Leo left, "Give us another chance."

"Ryan, we can't keep doing this. I'll admit, when we were together it was great, but then there's this wall in your heart that I just could never get through and when that wall went up, things just didn't feel right between us," Kurt said.

"You never answered my question," Ryan said. "Do you still love me."

"Yes," Kurt answered honestly. "Yes, of course I still love you. But there are people involved now that I don't want to hurt."

"But what about us?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan, we both made decisions and we now have to live with them," Kurt replied. "If I wasn't seeing anyone then I would be back with you in a heartbeat, but I'm with Gabriel now and he's been great to me and he doesn't deserve to be hurt like that. And you're with Dan, you should go be with him."

"I'm not going to give up on you," Ryan said. "I'm going to prove that I can be the man you want. I'm going to fight for you."

Kurt sighed, a part of him so badly wanting to kiss Ryan now, but the other part not wanting to betray or hurt Gabriel.

"Please Ryan, don't fight for me," Kurt said.

"Why not?" Ryan asked.

"Because you would win," Kurt replied. "And so much has been going on that I don't want to cause any more drama for anyone."

"Kurt, if you still love me and I still love you then what's the problem?" Ryan asked.

"The problem is that I don't want to hurt anyone," Kurt replied.

"Kurt, the only one you'll end up hurting by doing this is yourself," Ryan said. "I'm not going to let you do that."

Before Kurt could say anything else Ryan took Kurt in his arms and kissed him. At first, Kurt melted into the kiss enjoying the way it felt to be kissing Ryan again and remembering how good he felt with him, but then Gab flashed into his mind and he quickly pulled away.

"I can't Ryan," Kurt said. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

Kurt then left a confused Ryan.

Later that day Luke went back to Nick's place to see him.

"Hey you," Nick said opening the door.

"I have some great news," Luke said giving Nick a big kiss.

"What's up?" Nick asked.

"I got a job promotion!" Luke enthused.

"Babe, that's great!" Nick said giving Luke a big hug, "Congratulations!"

"That's not even the best part," Luke said.

"Oh yeah?" Nick asked. "What is the best part then?"

"It's in San Diego," Luke replied.

"San Diego?" Nick asked, "Why San Diego?"

"Well the paper I work for owns a local San Diego newspaper and they're hiring me as the editor down there," Luke replied.

"In San Diego?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," Luke replied.

"You too it?" Nick asked.

"Well not yet," Luke replied. "I wanted to come talk to you about it first."

"Oh okay," Nick said. "Well, it sounds like a great opportunity for you."

"No, for us," Luke said. "Nick, I wanted to ask you if you would consider moving down there with me."

"Move to San Diego?" Nick asked. "Really?"

"Yeah, think about it," Luke said. "We can find a place right by the beach, just you and me."

"But what about my job?" Nick asked.

"Well, maybe you can talk to your editor and see if you can write your column down there and just e-mail it," Luke said. "Or you can come work at the newspaper I'm going to."

"Wow," Nick said. "When you said you had good news, I didn't quite expect that."

"But look at the possibilities Nick," Luke said. "If we're down there we can finally get Wayne out of our lives. He doesn't have to know we left and he won't know where to find us."

"That's true," Nick said seeing the very good point in that. "But I would also have to leave Kurt and Leo."

"But it's only a couple hours away," Luke said. "I know you well enough to not take you too far from those two."

"Aw, so you actually thought of that too huh?" Nick asked, very touched that Luke too Kurt and Leo into account.

"Of course," Luke said. "You three are like brothers. I wouldn't ask you to go too far from them."

"You're sweet," Nick said giving Luke a kiss.

"I'm not asking you to give me a decision right now," Luke said. "But I do have to give them an answer in two days. Will that give you enough time to think things over? If you don't want to just say the word, but I think this could be really good for us."

"I'll think it over," Nick promised. "But right now I want to celebrate that we're back together, again."

Nick and Luke then started kissing and taking each other's clothes off.

After Leo got done with his work Kurt and he went to go see Jesse. Jesse had just gotten home an hour earlier from his first session with Dr. Walton. When Leo and Kurt got there Jesse was reading while his mom was cooking dinner for everyone.

"So what have you been up to?" Kurt asked Jesse as he came back from getting a drink in the kitchen.

"Just recouping still," Jesse said. "I'm starting to get restless here though."

"I bet," Kurt said.

"I wish I could go out and work, but I don't even know what I'm skilled in or anything," Jesse said. "My parents told me I work in advertising, but with my state of mind I don't know the first thing about any of that."

"It'll come to you," Leo said confidently. "I know it."

"So what about you two?" Jesse asked. "What's been going on?"

"Not much," Kurt replied. "Life is pretty boring on my end." Kurt didn't feel like unloading on Jesse his little love triangle with Ryan and Gabriel.

"How about you Leo?" Jesse asked.

"Just the usual," Leo said. "Work and praying for you every day."

"Thanks," Jesse smiled. "You're sweet."

"You been remembering any more lately?" Kurt asked.

"Actually, I have been dreaming about some things, but I don't know if they're memories or just dreams," Jesse answered.

"Anything we can help you out with?" Leo asked hopeful.

"Maybe," Jesse said. "Did you ever give me an old stained shirt for Christmas?"

"You mean the shirt you spilled beer over when we first met?" Leo asked excited.

"Maybe," Jesse replied.

"Yeah," Leo answered. "It was our first Christmas together and I gave you the shirt I was wearing from that night."

"You gave Jesse and old stained t-shirt?" Kurt asked, not seeing the romance in that.

"It had sentimental value," Leo said giving Kurt a light punch in the arm.

"I loved it," Jesse said. "He loved it." Leo said at the same time.

"Do you remember that?" Leo asked.

"I think so," Jesse replied. "I had a dream about it last night."

"Oh my God," Leo said smiling. "You're memory is coming back!"

"That's great Jesse," Kurt said happy for Jesse and Leo.

"Do you remember anything else?" Leo asked.

"I think I remember the accident," Jesse replied.

"Oh," Leo's smile faded. "I was hoping you wouldn't remember that. I wish I could forget it."

"It's good for me to remember," Jesse said. "I want to remember everything, the good and bad."

"Well it sounds like you're on your way," Kurt said.

"That was such a horrible night," Leo sighed. "I don't ever want to think about it again."

"But look at us," Jesse said optimistically, "Considering all I lost was my memory I think we came out of it pretty good."

"All you lost?" Leo asked. "Losing your memory is huge. It's not something to be grateful about. I still have nightmares every now and then about that night."

"Jesse has a point," Kurt said. "It's good you two are both still alive."

"But now look at him," Leo said. "Now Jesse has to waste all this time remembering his past when it shouldn't have been taken from him in the first place."

"Leo, I know you're frustrated. I am too," Jesse said. "But you have to see the bright points here."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed, "It was that thinking that got you into drinking remember?"

"I know," Leo said. "Jesse's right. I'm just frustrated."

"I'm seeing a therapist to try and help me get back my memory," Jesse said.

"You are?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, I know this has been just as hard for you as it's been for me and I want to try and hurry this process along," Jesse said.

"Thanks," Leo smiled. "Do you think it will work?"

"I don't know, but I might as well give it a shot right?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Leo said. "You're right."

"I'm glad you're starting to get your life back together," Kurt said.

"Boys, come eat," Jesse's mom called out from the kitchen.

Kurt went into the kitchen, Leo and Jesse were headed to, but then Jesse stopped Leo so he could have a private moment with him.

"Leo, can we talk real quick?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah sure," Leo replied. "What's up?"

"I just wanted you to know that if you don't want to wait around for me then it's okay," Jesse said.

"What are you talking about?" Leo asked.

"We both know it will be a while until I'm back to the way I was before the accident and until then if you want to step back and see someone else then it's all right," Jesse replied.

"Jesse I'm not going to leave your side," Leo said. "If you still want me around, I want to be there for you."

"Are you sure?" Jesse asked.

"I'm positive," Leo replied giving Jesse a hug. He then leaned in and kissed him gently.

"I thought you wanted to keep things platonic between us," Jesse said.

"Screw platonic," Leo sighed kissing Jesse some more.

As they were kissing Jesse flashed out into a memory.

MEMORY

over at Leo's apartment Jesse arrived. The two were sitting in the living room, both in an awkward silence.

"Is one of us going to say something?" Jesse asked finally.

"Yeah," Leo said getting up. "I think that we have a lot of problems."

"Obviously," Jesse agreed.

"What have I done?" Leo asked. "Did I do something so bad that makes you not want me anymore?"

"No," Jesse said quickly to make sure Leo knew it wasn't his fault.

"Then what is it?" Leo asked. "I feel like I'm busting my balls to try and fix this and things just seem to get worse and worse for us."

"It's not you," Jesse replied.

"If you do that, 'it's not you, it's me' bit I'm going to go crazy," Leo said working up the courage and strength he knew he needed to get through this.

"It's us," Jesse said. "Don't you see it?"

"See what?" Leo asked.

"Leo, we've been together for over two years," Jesse replied. "We've been together so long and gotten so comfortable that we failed to see that over time we've been drifting apart."

"How can we fix it?" Leo asked.

"I don't know if there is a way to fix it," Jesse said sadly. "I think we've grown apart so long now that we're just completely different people now."

Leo and Jesse's eyes both filled with tears, both knowing what's happening.

"It's over isn't it?" Leo asked.

"I think it's been over for a while now," Jesse replied. "We both just didn't want to accept it."

"So, what do we do now?" Leo asked.

"I guess," Jesse began sadly, "We say goodbye."

Leo's heart clenched, this was now how he wanted things to go for him and Jesse.

"I never wanted this to happen," Leo said.

"Me neither," Jesse replied wiping his tears.

They came up to each other and gently gave each other kisses and held each other for the last time.

"We had some amazing times together," Jesse sighed.

"Yeah, we did," Leo replied.

"Take care of yourself okay?" Jesse asked.

"I will, you do the same," Leo replied.

"Will do," Jesse said.

"You okay?" Leo asked noticing that Jesse grew a serious expression on his face.

"Yeah," Jesse replied. "I think I just remembered something."

"Oh yeah? What was it?" Leo asked.

"A break-up between you and me," Jesse replied.

"Well that's kind of a crappy memory to get back," Leo said. "But it was an important part of our history together."

"Well, maybe I'll be on my way sooner than we think," Jesse said taking Leo's hand as they headed into the kitchen together.

Nick meanwhile was laying in bed with Luke thinking about moving to San Diego. Could he really leave Kurt and Leo to start a new life in San Diego with out them?

"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked.

"San Diego," Nick replied.

"Oh yeah?" Luke asked. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's a big decision," Nick replied.

"I know," Luke said. "And you really have to do what's best for you. Nick, I would love for you to come with me, nothing would make me happier, but if you don't want to go then that's fine. It's only a couple hours away, we'll make it work no matter what you decide."

That was the last thing Nick needed to hear to convince him that Luke had fully and completely changed from the man he dated before. He was the man he had always wanted him to be and he wasn't about to risk losing him again.

"You know what? I want to go," Nick decided.

"Are you serious?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, I want to move with you," Nick replied.

"Really?" Luke asked happily.

"Yes, let's move to San Diego together," Nick replied happily.

"Yes!" Luke cheered kissing Nick. "So we're really going to do this?"

"Yeah, we're going to move to San Diego," Nick said.

"This is going to be great," Luke said. "And I promise I will make sure you still see Kurt and Leo all the time."

"I know," Nick said. "So we're moving to San Diego."

"We're moving to San Diego!" Luke said kissing Nick again. "I promise you won't regret this."

"I'm sure of it," Nick said. It was a big decision and even though he would miss Kurt and Leo terribly he had to give this move to San Diego a shot.

To Be Continued...

With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much! You all have a great day!