This is a fictional tale about the very hot guy I met on an online poetry site. I myself love poetry, and love how poets can be so passionate. This is a retell of this stud from my past tale. Pee out talks online I assumed he is straight (but friendly). Whatever the case he is hot as hell.
Here's to you Hodak...
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Poetic Ginger (Words of A Poet (2)
... I had not heard nor seen Josh on the poetry page after our last conversation, for several months as it were. And if course I grew concerned for him. He had fallen into that dark place I knew well. And his spouse or girlfriend or what ever she was was not supporting him. She would just tell him to seek help. Like she wanted nothing to do with it.
"Bitch" I said under my breath "I would never just tell him something so stupid " "Just get help"
It was a callouse an inconsiderate thing to say to him. This strong ex military guy was being vulnerable and needing her to be there for him, and she wasn't.
"I would be by your side Josh" I would say aloud
I knew I would. I understood his plight. How the darkness would creep in and just take hold of you and slam you about. It was overwhelming and a heavy weight to carry. I knew it well. So as he was off the grid of conversation with me, of course I had cause to worry.
"I hope Josh is okay" I said "Please be okay my lo.. uhm my friend"
I almost said it. I almost said I loved him. And that was a shock to me. I didn't see myself having such an emotional connection to anyone again. Certainly some straight guy on some random online page.butbtherevit was, almost clearly an emotion desire for him. And I knew it. I sent him an email, just to make sure he was okay. Hoping he would answer. If at least to say he was still alive. As that ugly possibility crossed my mind. And dread fell over me too.
"Please be okay, please be okay" I changed for myself
I found myself almost in tears in worry over him. Worried that this shit hole works had taken him from me. This guy that was the only man that made me feel good. That I had lost something I had just gained. Even if he wasn't mine at all Days passed and the worry grew. I feared the dread he dealt with had overcome him and he had taken his life. Tears did come briefly. My thoughts of him dead and me never talking with him again. That handsome face just fading away once he was long gone and his page disappeared But then I saw his returned message come through. I saw it and quickly opened it. Sighing relief that he was at least still alive.
"Sorry haven't been around.." it started
He then went on about the difficulties in his relationship. That for now they were taking some time apart to reevaluate what they had
"I think I need to just disappear for a while" he said "Just get away from everything for a bit" "Clear my head about shit"
Then he asked how I was. Asking if my life has gotten any better since last we spoke. I came back with a 'day by day's reply. Inferring I was just getting on with each day as it came. But that I was still pretty much alone here. Hating the people around me. And with not much else to do 'alone' that I stayed home all the time. Going to work and just sitting in front of the TV or computer. Saying that his correspondence was the most worthwhile to look forward to in my day. And the site itself an outlet to just be me.
"That's sad" he said back "No, not really" I explained "My conversations with you are a highlight" "You seem to get where I am coming from" "It's sad that I have to feel this way. Or that you have to go through crap too" "We are so deserving of better things" "And better people" he added
I smiled as I looked at his avatar image. He was surely a handsome guy. At least to me he was. And I really wished that he was here so I could just hug the guy. Just to feel his warmth close to me. Wondering what his voice may be like. Wondering what he himself was like in person. But thinking that an physical encounter would never be in the cards.
"Thanks" I said back to Josh "You are always ever so kind"
Our conversations online continued for several more months. And that's when I always felt the best. When Josh was talking to me online. And my heart would get a warm feeling when I did. As his conversations were the only thing to pull me from my dread
"We should one day just meet up" he then said to me one day "We should get together and hang out, drink and just compare notes on poetry and life"
I was shocked at his suggestion. Not that I would not want such a meeting to happen. I just never figured he would want to meet with me. Most people like to stay in the safety of online chat versus in person, as it something's was not the best. But Josh suggested it, and the possibility of being close to him bounced about in my head. It made me smile and a bit hot y at the same time.
"Well I don't see how my friend" I then came back. "It's about near 300 miles between us" "Not just a nice evening and drinks kind of distance" "Yeah" he agreed
There was a slight pause before he continued. Then he suggested to still attempt it. That one of us could come down on a vista over the weekend. He didn't suggests him nor myself. Just that one of us do so. We could hang out, see sights and have dinner and drinks. He just felt we were to like minded souls that needed to 'connect'. I sighed at his words. Liking how he thought we were like minded. So I agree that it would be nice. And maybe we could one day. I just didn't see it happening any time soon...
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To be continued