3 months have passed and I'm still here!. I can say that I am much better than in the begining. In the first weeks I spent a lot of time depressed and hating happy people. I still see Mike and he's still around that movie girl but I forget her name. I got used to it and if it wasn't for Bri it would have been much harder.
Bri and Jared are ok again. They're one of those couples that argue a lot, but always end up together. It was tiring, really. One moment she was crying, saying that was the end, the next she was smiling like a loon at everyone. Thankfully, Bri helped me alot, she did everything possible to distract me. At first, I just wanted to be alone and stay in my room. But she started to push and I just went with the flow. She dragged me to crowded places, introduced me to a lot of people, she did everything so I wouldn't be alone.
Kevin was also by my side. He stopped talking to Mike and was around me a lot. We started to get closer than ever. He continued talking about his girls and his adventures and I would just sigh and listen.
Mike on the other hand seemed to be really happy. He sort of became the school idol. He had the perfect girl, the perfect grades, he was the best player, he was this, he was that. It was getting on my nerves, actually. He was always smiling and he and Bri seemed to be drifting apart. It seemed that I was right after all, he was just another jock! We still met in the hallways and sometime he would greet me. I would smile and continue on my way.
The vet was doing great. I managed to convice Sheila to teach me some basic things about animals and how to treat them. I loved doing that. I managed to convince my mother to adop a small dog. He had been abandoned and when I showed him to my mom she just couldn't say no. I trained him to be clean and he helped a lot in my "recovery." Animals are a great way to escape everything. They aren't mean or have hidden agendas. They are honest and just treat you well if you do the same to them!
I also decided to attend a gay youth group, with a little encoragement from Pete. In the begining it was kind of scary. The first time I was so scared I was trembling. After a few sessions I started to meet new people and just enjoying being in a place where I didn't need to hide! I could talk and not be afraid of letting something slip or say something wrong. As I said, I met lots of new people and a new guy. His name is Tom. We clicked when we first met. We had talked and discovered that we had a lot in common. We had had similiar relationships and heartbreaks.
I could feel some sort of chemistry between us. He was hot, not super model hot, but still hot. And it seemed that we were playing cat and mouse. We would flirt and then just back away when things heated up. But one day things changed.
"So Brad, you wanna go to see a movie or something tomorrow?" he asked before the meeting began.
"Are you asking me out?" I asked grinning.
He blushed "Well, sort of, but it you don't wanna...I totally--"
"Sure, I would love to!" I said smiling.
Of course, that I was afraid of starting something with Tom. I wasn't totally over Mike and I didn't want to hurt Tom. But a date couldn't hurt, right?
Anyway. This session was really good. The main idea was to talk about religion. But we ended up talking about abortion and euthanasia. It was really cool to see everyone debating. When it was over Tom offered to drive me home. I gadly accepted and we went to his car.
"So, tell me Brad, does your mom knows that you're gay?" he asked looking at the road.
"Yeah, it was a little weird actually! The way I told her was a total disaster, but in the end everyhting turned out good, how about you?!" I remembered the pain I went through.
"Oh, my parents know." he said not looking at me. "They kicked me out. Luckily my aunt took me in and paid for my education. I managed to find a job and now I'm working and living alone."
"Ow. I mean, that's something I don't know I could do!" I said looking at him dreamily.
I forgot to mention Tom is 20.
"Of course you could, you're a strong person!" he said smiling.
"I don't know about that!" I said under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing..." I said, shrugging bad thoughts out of my head "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot!" he said stopping at a red light.
"How many guys have you dated?"
He blushed" A couple..."
I grinned. "A couple? That's not really a number! Tell me!"
He blushed even more! How cute.
"Come one, I'm not gonna do anything, just tell me!" I said
"Ok, ok. I've dated 5 guys!" he said looking straight ahead but smiling.
I laughed. "That's better than me! I've only dated 2!"
"It's just that, I don't know. The guys I met, they get scared the instant I tell them I want a serious relationship. They only want sex, sex, sex!" he said, his smile fading. "So, its not that I'm proud of dating or something!"
"I know what you mean!" I said looking ahead.
"What?" he asked looking at me.
"Oh, my house is right there!"
He stopped the car, turned to me and smiled. "Well, we're here!"
I opened my door. "Thanks for the lift!" I said kissing his cheek.
"No problem. I'll pick you up at 7:00 tomorrow, be ready!"
I smiled. "Sure!"
I walked home smiling. When I entered the kitchen I found my mom happily cooking.
"So, a new boyfriend?" she asked smiling.
"No, a new friend!" I said rolling my eyes.
"I'm glad you're happy!" she said smiling.
Suddenly she got a serious look on her face. She dried her hands and looked at me. "Brad, I have to tell you something."
"Shoot!"
"I started to attend some meetings yesterday..."
"What meetings?" I asked grabbing an apple.
"Meetings for parents of gay and bissexual kids." she said looking at me.
I looked at her and smiled. She looked at me expecting me to do something so I walked to her and hugged her. "Thanks, I know you're trying!"
"Everything for you!" she said hugging back.
"Was it good?" I asked letting her go.
"Yeah, they were nice, I was a little nervous. But they seem to be nice people!" she said smiling.
"I hope that you get along with everyone!" I said happily.
"Brad, I'm doing this for you, and for me so that I can deal with this in a better way." she said.
"You're the best!" I said hugging her.
...
"Finaly you've got a date!" Kevin said, a little too loud.
We were in the cafeteria and I told them about Tom. I looked around and noticed some people were looking our way. I looked at Mike's table and caught him looking.
"Not so loud!" I said glaring at Kevin.
"I'm sorry, its just that... a date! I mean it has been like what? Three months?" Kevin said smiling.
I blushed. "Well, not everyone can be a Casanova like you!"
"Yeah, and I don't even understand why you're a Casanova!" Bri said mocking disgust.
"Well, if you weren't with Jared I might show you!" Kevin said daringly.
"I'm glad that she is with me then!" Jared said sitting down in front of Bri and kissing her. Me and Kevin rolled our eyes.
"Oh come on, you're just jealous!" Bri said catching us.
"So Brad, a date huh?" Jared asked.
"You heard that?" I asked, embarassed.
"Of course I did, everyone did!" he said smiling. "I'm happy for you, really!"
"So, honey, how were practices for the big game?" Bri asked dreamingly.
Sometimes these two could make me really sick. They could be worse than those happily married couples that have no problems.
"I'm pretty sure we'll win, we have to, we've been working non stop!" he said " As a matter of fact, I think that I may need a massage..."
I groaned.
"Speaking on good stuff, our date is still on?" Bri asked.
"Of course." Jared said grabbing Bri's hand.
"Where are you guys going?" I asked while trying to figure out what was under the potatoes.
"To see a movie at the mall!" They said at the same time.
That was freaky.
"Oh, I might see you then, I don't know where Tom wants to---" I said until reality hit me.
Jared continued looking at me waiting for me to continue talking. I looked at Bri and she just smiled, I gave a big sigh of relief.
"Sorry, I don't know where we are going to see the movie, but maybe we could double date!"
"That would be fun!" Bri said smiling.
"Thanks for leaving me out!" Kevin said pretending to be hurt.
"Like you don't have something planned already!" I said rolling my eyes.
"Oh that's right, I do. Forget it then!" he said smiling happily.
....
"Brad, wait up!" I heard somone call.
I turned around to see Mark running to try catch me.
"Breathe, boy!" I said smiling.
He grinned and took a deep breath. "Kevin just told me that you have a date tomorrow."
"Yeah..." I said not knowing where this was going.
"I was wondering.... if maybe we could double date. Hugh knows this club, it's kind of gay-friendly...and maybe we could all go together!" he said smiling.
"I'll have to ask Tom." I said liking the sound of the idea.
"Great!" he said " Are you going that way?"
"Yeah, you want some company?"
"Sure. As long as I don't get punched again!" he said laughing.
My smile faded. Marc's face got a scared look on it and he smacked his forehead. That brought back bad memories.
"Oh, shit I'm sorry I forgot!" he said angry at himself.
We started walking towards or houses.
"Don't worry about it." I said looking down.
"I'm sorry, but hey, at least someone is gonna have fun tomorrow!" he said trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah." I said, still not very happy. "So, tell me how are things for the big game?"
"Well, they're good!" he said looking away.
"What? Something's wrong?" I asked curious.
"Well, Mike's the captain, and he, well...he's extremely bossy. I don't understand why, but he just seems to be angry at every little thing that anyone does!"
I didn't say a thing.
"But lets talk about other things!" he said "Like... tell me how Tom is!"
I laughed. "You'll see tomorrow! If he wants, of course!" I said smiling.
"What? Afraid that I'll steal your boyfriend?"
"He isn't my boyfriend!" I said.
He shut up. After a while he started in a sing song voice.
"Brad and Tom....sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G..first comes love--" he sang mocking me.
"I'll show you kissing!" I said running towards him, trying to tickle him.
...
"Am I good?" I asked looking at my reflection on the mirror.
"Honey, if you weren't my almost brother I would jump at you and rape you right now!" Bri said smiling.
I blushed. "Well, I wouldn't stop you!"
She walked towards me, put her leg between mine and was millimeters from my face. She tried but couldn't hold the laugher back. "Seriously now, you're good, don't worry, he'll kiss you!"
"Do you think so?" I asked looking at myself again in the mirror.
She rolled her eyes. "Of course. So did you talk to him?"
"Yeah. We're going to the movies with you and then we'll go to a special club with Mark and Hugh!"
"I'm so glad that you're ok!" she said.
I wasn't, at least completely. I still felt something for Mike and I couldn't make that go away. I sighed and tried to focus on the evening ahead of me.
"So, we'll meet in one hour?" I asked her grabbing my wallet.
"Yeah. Now go, I'll see you later!" she said smiling.
I walked towards the front door to see Tom's car stopping in the driveway. I smiled and went to him. He looked at me and grinned.
"Do I need to tell you how good you look?" he asked.
I blushed. "You're hot too!"
"You're cute when you blush!" he said laughing. "Get in!"
I opened the door and sat. I looked at him, not knowing what to do. I put on my seatbelt. He leaned into me and kissed my cheek.
"Ready?" he asked smiling.
"Yep. Where are we going?" I asked exited.
"We're going to a special place, don't worry!" he said starting the engine.
During the drive to the "special place" we talked about nothing special. I was still in daze. I did notice that we were going to a part of the city I didn't know. We stopped near a small cafe and he smiled at me.
"You're gonna like this!" he said getting out
I got out and noticed that it wasn't a normal place. People seemed different. They looked like everyone else, but there was something that was different. It hit me when I saw two guys kissing. This was a gay area. I didn't even know it existed. Tom smiled at me.
"I live up there in that red building!" he said poiting.
"I didn't knew that this area existed!" I said looking around.
"Yeah, it's like a refuge for us!" he said. "Now, lets go, our food is getting cold!"
The cafe was a nice place. It was filled with couples, the odd thing was that it was gay and lesbian. It was a bit weird for me, but I got used to it pretty quickly. Apparently Tom knew the owner and our food was waiting for us. I don't know how he guessed that I love lasagna.
"So, ready to go to a gay club?" I asked between bites.
"I talked to Hugh, and it seems to be a nice place!" he said smiling.
Tom's smile was something that we couldn't avoid. It was so full of life, it could lighten a whole room. I smiled just because he smiled.
"You know Hugh? " I asked surprised..
"Yeah, he's my neighbor!" he said smiling.
"Really? That's a coicidence. So, have you met Mark already?"
"Yeah, he goes to Hugh's place a lot." he said, he then looked at me, scared. "NO, not like that. I only see him going there. I have no idea what they're doing."
I laughed. "That's their business!"
He gave a sigh of relief and smiled. "I thought I said something wrong!"
"Don't worry."
The dinner went really well. I actually forgot about Mike and was really enjoying myself. Tom knew how to make me laugh and we had a really cool conversation. I was finding Tom to be a really nice guy. After dinner we went to the movies and met Bri and Jared. I was kind of nervous to be introducing him to Bri and Jared at such an early stage, but what the hell...
We spoted them sitting near the main door. They were cuddling and looking mighty happy. Jared saw us and waved at us. When he saw Tom, a look of surprise flashed through his face.
"TOM?" he said shocked.
"JARED?" Tom said surprised.
I was scared. I looked at Bri who looked even more confused than I.
"You know each other?" I asked surprised.
"Of course we do!" Jared said stepping towards Tom. "He's my cousin!"
They smiled at each other and hugged. I was a little taken aback and just looked at them, shocked.
"How have you been? It has been like what? 4 years?" Jared asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I never called, but my life has been hell!" Tom said smiling.
Bri caughed trying to get their atention.
"Oh, sorry Bri, Tom this is Bri, Bri this is my cousin, Tom!" Jared said.
Bri smiled and looked Tom up. She winked at me and greeted him. Jared and Tom continued talking until we sat on the teather. Me and Bri were a little angry, but just forgot that and sat near them.
Surprisingly the theater wasn't crowded. There were only 20 people in it! The theater was huge and we sat on a quiet corner. When the lights went out Jared and Tom stopped talking and I put my arm around Tom to get him to notice me. He looked at me and mouthed 'sorry.' I smiled and just rested my head on his shoulder. The movie wasn't that good, and halfway through it I noticed that Jared and Bri were paying more atention to other things. Tom on the other had started to feel lonely and his arm was now around me. I was still happily resting my head on his shoulder.
When the movie ended and the lights come on I sat up pretending everything was ok and that I hadn't spent the last hour and half resting on a guy's shoulder. We walked out of the building and went to a nearby cafe waiting for Marc and Hugh to appear.
"So, you two are cousins? I would have never guessed!" I said trying to make conversation
"Yeah...Tom is kind of the black sheep of the family, but I love him anyways!" Jared said smiling.
"Don't say he is a bad boy, Brad will get exited!" Bri said.
I smacked her arm and blushed.
"No need for violence!" Tom said, he leaned into me and whispered, "But I CAN be a bad boy if you want me to!"
I blushed even more. Bri laughed. "I can imagine what he just told you!"
"So Jared where are you going with Bri?" I said trying to change the subject.
"I don't know yet...where do you wanna go?" he asked her.
"You could come with us...from what Hugh told me it is a gay friendly club, everyone can go there!" Tom said.
"Do you wanna go?" Jared asked Bri.
"And miss the chance of seeing Brad dancing with a guy? Of course I want!" Bri continuing to tease me.
"Ok. I'm going to the bathroom now!" I said getting up.
Bri laughed and I walked away smiling. My smile faded when I noticed the couple sitting near the bathroom door. Mike and the movie girl were talking really close. I was debating whether or not I should go to the bathroom. I decided that Mike wasn't gonna take the best of me and walked, determinated, to the bathroom. I was passing by them without saying a word when the girl spoke up.
"Hey, aren't you the guy that was with Bri the other time?" she asked looking at me.
I groaned silently and turned to her. "Oh...I didn't saw you two, so how are you?" I asked totally faking the smile.
"Oh, we're good! You're here alone or do you have company?" she asked.
I looked at her and I couldn't stop seeing Britney Spears. She was so plastic doll that it was making me sick.
"I'm here with a great friend," I said looking directly at Mike, "And with Bri and Jared."
"Oh...me and Mike went to the movies and were thinking of where to go now..." she said getting closer to Mike" weren't we honey?"
"Yeah." Mike said simply.
I was thinking of a way of escaping them when Bri came to my rescue. "Misty, how good to see you!" she said with fake happiness.
I excused myself and walked into the bathroom. After relieving myself I heard the door open.
"Are you ok?" Tom asked coming from behind me.
I splashed some water on my face" Yeah...just fine!"
"Jared told me about Mike." he said putting a hand on my shoulder. "I understand if you want to go on home."
"No...I'm fine!" I said smiling at him" Really! I need to have some fun!"
He smiled at me. I don't know why but it seemed just the right moment and I gave him a quick peck on his lips. When he backed away he grinned.
"What was that for?"
"Just to thank you!" I said. "Now lets go!"
I walked away and noticed that Misty and Mike were now sitting at our table. I rolled my eyes and Tom and I sat down.
"So, we could go with you." I heard Misty say.
I looked straight at Bri who was just as scared as I was.
"Oh, I don't know, you probably wouldn't like the place." Jared said.
"What place is it?" she askes smiling.
Jared was about to answer but Mark interrupted him.
"Hi guys, ready to go?" I looked at the door to see Hugh standing there looking at us. "Oh, hi Misty, what are you doing here?"
She explained the situation and he said that it was no problem...that she could go too. I wanted to kill Mark and unfortunaly didn't have the chance since we got separated. Jared and Bri came with Tom and I. The others took their own car.
We talked a bit on our way to the club but no one knew why Mark had let Misty and Mike tag along. Jared and Tom continued to put things up, talking about family and what had happened. It turned out that afer Tom came out, other family members started showing their true side.
"We're here!" Tom said turning the car off.
The building was perfectly normal. It had a big door and a sign saying "REFUGE." I smiled at the name. Mark's car arrived and we greeted them. I couldn't get Mark alone to ask him about this, but after we got in everything came clear. It turned out that this club had two parts. One was the straight part and the other was the gay part. It wasn't written anywhere, but we could see the difference. We sat at a big table and Misty grabbed Mike out of there. I immediately grabbed Tom and said goodbye to the others.
When we started dancing I could finnaly be relieved. No one was looking at us and I could be and do whatever I wanted. I grabbed onto Tom and just danced away. During a slow dance we were really close and I grabbed the opportunity, if you know what I mean. Anyway, it ended pretty soon and we were once again jumping around. After a while Tom said he needed to go to the bathroom and that he would be right back. I nodded and continued dancing.
A slow dance came again. Only this time it got really dark. I couldn't see a thing. I felt someone grab my waist and I tought it was Tom so grabbed him too. He was the same height as Tom so.... I don't know why but I started to get butterflies in my stomach. It seemed that I was alone with Tom and nothing else existed. I held his back and put my head on his shoulder. It was all so very familiar. I remembered the time when me and Mike were cuddling in the cabin... and the happiness that I felt. But now I was with another guy and I needed to forget Mike. Surprisingly, Tom kissed me, it wasn't a quick kiss or a peck, a real kiss. And so familiar. I gave into him and enjoyed the feeling...
Just before the music was over, Tom let go of me and left me there alone. I tried to catch him but it was too dark. When the lights came on again I walked to our table and saw Bri, Misty, and Mike sitting there.
"Where's Tom?" I asked them.
"Oh, he and Jared went to the bathroom. Oh, look, there they are!" Bri said pointing behind me.
I looked at Tom and grinned. "That was one hell of a dance! But why did you leave?" I wispered.
"I told you, I needed to go to the bathroom!" he said. "You look flushed, you ok?"
I was shocked, who the hell had I been dancing with?
TBC.....