Chapter 18: Mid-May, 1994.
Days after prom we had lots more stuff packed and shipped to Galveston, and my final exam appointment was set. Gram and I were carefully packing two boxes a day and shipping them to Gramps by UPS. The apartment was slowly starting to look empty and the stacks of boxes were almost gone. We still threw away a lot of stuff we brought here from the house. It turned out the one thing we should have kept was the dining room table and chairs. The day we moved to the apartment we drove to Goodwill and purchased a small kitchen table and chairs. I had to tighten all the screws so it didn't wobble as much. The chairs all folded but the table got tied upside down to the roof of my car for the 2 mile trip to the apartment.
Something else I did wrong while packing was I kept all my winter clothes, but they don't really get real winter weather in Galveston. All my clothes for Amarillo would be inappropriate in Galveston, I should have pitched all my clothes, especially my heavy winter stuff, so now some of it is at Grandma's house on the island so I can throw it away down there. Duh! Galveston is a place where they wear Hawaiian print board shorts, tank tops, and flip flops, except maybe not to funerals. Gram told me when she was a full time university professor on the island that half her students were dressed like they just came into class from surfing.
She said Galveston normally doesn't get surfing waves so when they got a tropical storm the waves kicked-up and then you saw surfboards on the roofs of cars. Bad weather = party time on the beaches. Really bad storms = lots more surfers on the beach. People drove down from Houston to surf.
I felt I was ready for finals by late May thanks to Gram. She was my education personal trainer. The more I get to know her the more she seemed like a more laid-back version of my Mom, which made her death hurt less. Gram was also a fantastic teacher. I could honestly say I really loved my grandmother more than ever. I looked forward to coming home to spending time with her. This 66 year old lady was the bomb! And she was oddly focused on getting me ready for finals, she created a checklist of stuff to study, then she quizzed me verbally over and over. She showed me how we focused only on the stuff I got wrong or couldn't explain back to her as if I was the teacher. Over time the list of new stuff to learn got shorter, which was highly motivating because I could see my progress toward being ready. We often reversed roles, I read the chapter and taught it to her and she asked questions, so I had to look things up in the encyclopedia.
Something else I noticed about Gram was her eyes, eyelashes, nose, and eyebrows were exactly the same as my mother's, so when I looked Gram in the eyes I could not lie because it was like looking at my mother. I don't know why I never noticed that in her before. Some people say I'm not good at eye contact, so maybe that's why it took me 18 years to notice their eyes were the same.
Gram also taught me how to be a `goal oriented' person, and why it was important. She said in football the goal line wasn't a magic score increasing line, it was the purpose of each play, the goal of each play. Gram tried to explain that I was thinking of a goal as a score, more points on the board, but the goal line was the reason why we played, not the score. It took me a while to understand my definition of the word Goal was wrong. She said Goal Line was like Goal in Life, not just more points. My goal in college was to pass tests and learn new stuff, not to be a student. I think the difference was in my high school age brain college looked like a huge mountain of hard work (and no fun), but she kept reinforcing it was only a series of small steps, one step at a time.
Gram told me once that going to college was like a 50 mile hike on one of two paths. One path was 50 miles up the side of a huge mountain, but the other way was walking 50 miles along highway on flat land. When you're young and don't know yet college looks like the 50 mile mountain hike, but it's really more like walking along a highway, plus it's a lot of fun along the way. You have to keep walking, stay focused - one step at a time, just keep moving forward and eventually you'll reach the end and some gray haired person will hand me a bachelor's degree certificate.
She got me to stop reviewing certain subjects, she told me I had them mastered, so stop reviewing and focus on what you don't know. We even got into arguments about that technique. Her way felt like we were fixing the big holes in the street and ignoring the overall condition of the road. She reminded me the goal (this month) was passing finals, and that's all! "You don't need mastery of every subject, you just need to ace those damn tests!" she reminded me every day. One time she told me all I needed from high school to survive in college was decent English, writing, basic math, and algebra. They'd teach me everything else at A&M. Gram told me I worried too much and needed to chill out, maybe I should smoke some pot! I laughed hysterically at her comment. So that evening we shared a bottle of wine and spent the evening talking like she was a girl my age. I never saw my grandmother before or since as if she was my age, but with the knowledge of someone almost 70 years old.
That evening Gram told me about all the trips she made across the street to the playground with Crow. She did her Great Dane education and always kept one hand on his neck, just in case because dog behaviors never come with a guarantee. I taught her the dog behavior guarantee saying.
The other danger for Gram was if Crow suddenly decided to charge at something (rabbit, squirrel). It happened so fast she's likely to get hurt. Luckily, Crow seemed to understand that Gram was old and fragile, he's always been very gentle with her, never pulls on the leash. But there are some things a dog brain cannot resist, like the sudden motion of a fleeing animal. We bought a two foot leash with a breakaway section so if he bolted the leash would (hopefully) break before pulling her down. It's a risk we were willing to take. The main reason for the leash was to stop him from running blindly into the street.
"So Gram tell me, how'd you get Crow to stop pulling?" I asked her during dinner.
"We were walking past a bus stop and he'd been pulling hard and my shoulder was getting sore so I sat down and had him sit directly in front of me. Then I leaned over and got nose to nose with him and I very slowly told him `Crow, stop pulling on the leash or we cannot be friends.' And that was the last time he did it." She paused briefly then added, "I think he really understands English if you talk slowly and clearly, but the hard part is getting his attention." Gram went on to describe Crow as sometimes being like a stubborn old man with Attention Deficit Disorder. I told her I thought to some extent dogs seemed to be autistic.
I was tempted to give her an `I told you so,' but kept my mouth shut.
About one week ago Gram and Crow were on the school playground during lunch and recess. She'd already introduced herself to the school staff, she was after all Dr. Leslie Davis PhD (retired). She was well known to educators across the state.
While they were on the playground and Crow enjoyed the swarm of kids around him a raccoon came onto the playground and approached two girls near the swings who thought it was a cute-friendly animal. Suddenly the raccoon attacked one of the kids, they both screamed loudly. Teachers spun around and ran to them but didn't know what to do without anything like a broom handle or something to hit the animal.
Crow heard the screams and turned his head to look. He bolted from Gram breaking the leash but not her shoulder. His paws dug into the dirt as he raced across the playground accelerating to full speed (37+mph) and circled around behind the raccoon. The two first-grade girls stood frozen with fear, screaming in pain as the animal first attacked one girl's leg then went after the second girl and chewed her thigh repeatedly.
The teachers on the play field were trying to scare off the raccoon while someone ran inside for anything they could use to clobber the animal. Crow briefly stared at and then lunged at the animal's neck (from behind) slowly pulling it off the girl's leg into which it had repeatedly sunk its teeth.
The raccoon loosened its bite and the girls heard a loud SNAP, the raccoon instantly became limp like a rag doll in Crow's mouth. He took a couple steps back and dropped it on the dirt then stood beside the raccoon carcass so the school staff could safely approach. Both girls injured in the attack then fainted. Crow remained beside the raccoon until a school custodian put the very dead raccoon inside a trash bag. Gram with her bad joints finally caught up and took his collar in hand. She held him until after the ambulance left and the other kids were inside.
She said one of the police who responded to the 911 call said, "Oh, I know this dog! He killed some gangster across town a couple years ago." Then like nothing happened she re-connected the halves of the leash and he proudly pranced all the way home. Gram said he walked home like he had springs in his legs.
She told me the girls said that Crow didn't chew on the raccoon, it was one big chomp like he crushed its neck. There was no blood seen on the raccoon.
The next day the school principal called Gram and asked to take his picture, they made Crow the official elementary school sports mascot. He posed in a photo with both 5th grade soccer teams.
We were told that a petition was started by the mother of the second girl to re-name the middle school's soccer team from the Orioles to the Danes. And once again my lazy ass dog was a hero. There's always something going on with Crow, the reluctant-chronic hero.
After the attack Gram eventually made it home but never told me the story until we got a call from the Amarillo Globe-News wanting to do a story about the twice-decorated hero dog. We declined but thanked them for their consideration. Gram was concerned about our safety if our names appeared in the paper, especially after Crow off'd the drug cartel dude. For all we knew the cartel was still searching for the killer, but had no idea the killer was a lazy sofa-dog who watches Sesame Street daily.
To Crow it was just another day and he loved being in the spotlight. He killed that raccoon because it seemed to be the right thing to do, and like before he showed little concern for his own safety.
I took Crow to the vet to check but his rabies shots were current but he didn't think the raccoon had rabies, which was actually rather rare. He said it sounded like the raccoon had some kind of brain infection, they'd seen it before around the area. He described it as a fresh water amoeba that the animal drank from a pond and was slowly eating its brain. In the final days they sort of go crazy. He's seen it in squirrels and coyotes too.
He guessed Crow killed him by crushing his neck, severed the spinal cord. He told me the Great Dane is capable of around 320psi biting power, higher than most dogs(290psi), lower than a gray wolf (410psi), but still extremely dangerous. Humans reach around 160psi in biting force.
He looked down at Crow and patted the stainless steel exam table. Crow bounced up with his front paws, they landed on the table. Then I picked up his back thighs and we got him to lie upright on the table so we could check him out. The doc looked in his mouth and complimented the dog on his nearly perfect teeth. He listened to his lungs and heart and checked his eyes and ears.
The assistant came in with his vaccination card and it showed he was covered for rabies, so this was really a well-baby exam! The doc offered to update his shots and I declined, "He's an indoor dog, I'm at bigger risk for contracting rabies than he is."
The doc asked if I had any questions and I told him I didn't really understand what it meant about 320psi pressure. He said `...imagine a chunk of metal the size of a large ice cube but it weighs 330 pounds. Then I lie on the floor on my side and someone placed that cube on the side of my neck.'
I said, "It would crush my neck flat, like a tortilla." The doc said "Yep, that's how that raccoon died." I was speechless while both of us lifted Crow and set him down on the floor. "Gotta respect that." I mumbled to myself as we walked out to the car. He charged me five dollars for the office visit.
Another week of not seeing Tom went by. We spent more time talking on the phone than we ever did before. Gram and I stayed focused on getting ready for finals which were next week all on one day like last semester but I was pumped, confident and well prepared.
We made a high-speed game where she wrote a topic on the board and I had to talk about it for thirty seconds, based on my classroom notes and the text book, but she turned it into a game. Gram said the idea was to get my recall speed up so I could finish the tests quicker. Quicker test = less stress.
That Saturday morning at 9am Gram and I went to the local title office to close on the sale of our house which sat empty since we moved out. She signed like ten pieces of paper then we received the check and deposited it at the trust bank.
On Monday I signed up for dial-up internet access (to replace CompuServe), the first available in Amarillo from Am-Net for 56k baud service with my automatic dialing modem. I got a copy of Netscape Navigator on two 3.5" floppy discs which opened up a whole new world of online stuff to me (like Yahoo.com). I tried to convince Tom to convince Management to do the same thing. But they had enough problems of their own to work out so Internet service was low on the list. Not many people understood what the internet was, and everyone was happy with the service they got from AOL, but it was steadily losing customers. That was back in the days when anyone could have purchased a domain like IBM.com or NBC.com and nobody at those organizations would know or care. They'd say they purchased the key-word on AOL so they were covered.
We saw stories in the news about what people had to go through to cancel an AOL subscription but we were on Compuserve. One person told the newspaper when she called to cancel AOL they told her there was a mandatory cooling off period before the account would be closed, for 90 days! When many people called AOL to cancel the operator simply hung up after they waited on hold for 45 minutes for the next available customer service agent. The report on TV news said the customer service people had a limit of how many accounts they could close per day and if they went over it they got fired.
Finals day arrived (a regular school day). I drove myself to the school district main office and did a five hour torture thing with ten #2 pencils, a calculator, and a dozen sheets of blank paper. When it was over I felt sick to my stomach. I even got done one hour early because of all the work I did with Gram over the previous weeks to prepare for the tests. After testing I drove home, drank a huge glass of water, took two Tylenol and went to bed for a three hour nap, Gram (and Crow) weren't home so I went straight to bed.
That evening I told her how things went but I honestly had no idea what grades I'd get. I told her most of the questions on tests were the same ones from the text books so it seemed like I'd taken `em before. Gram applauded my effort, but she was right all along. To avoid using unfair or wrong test questions most of my final exams used the same questions from the end of each chapter. The teachers never assigned chapter review questions as homework so only the students who studied extra hard on their own and read those questions would get 100% correct on the test. Those questions were the ones Gram and I used, she was a teacher so she knew their secrets!
I went to school the next day like normal. I never told anyone why I was absent yesterday. Dan and I ate lunch together that day, but I told him everything. We had gym after lunch but I was intercepted in the hallway outside the locker room door by campus security to tell me that the Dean of Students wanted to see me right away in his office. My heart sank because that's always bad news. Daniel followed me. He escorted us to the office waiting room.
We sat in the waiting area outside the dean's office. I half expected to see Detective Zeller there to tell me my grandmother just died. What actually happened was totally unexpected.
I was called into his office and saw lots of wood paneling, book shelves, a TV (muted), and a police scanner (volume way down). The Dean seemed happy, told me to have a seat. I asked if my best friend Daniel could come-in too, he said okay. I asked the Dean to write tardy excuse for Daniel's next class, he'd be arriving a little late.
While he filled in the slip I walked back to his office door and motioned for Daniel. He had a look of fear in his face too. We both walked over by the desk and took seats across from this very large man, an (OSU) ex-college football player and all around athletic guy. I'm sure he wasn't very impressed with either of us, skinny pale twink looking boys, and Dan with his long blond hair (which hung down inside his shirt). I'm sure when he looked across his desk as us he saw two weird little rich kids and really hated both of us.
The Dean handed me a slip of paper for Dan's next class, I handed it to Dan. Next he raised a sheet of 8x10 tractor-feed green-bar paper and read it from top to bottom, totally ignoring us. After about ten seconds he set it down, leaned forward and said...
"Robert I heard about your loss earlier this year and I wanted to tell you how sorry we all were to hear about your mother. But despite all the turmoil your grades have in fact improved and they told me you arranged to take your final exams weeks ahead of the entire senior class. Is this true young man?"
"Y-yes s-sir it is." I said stammering with sweaty palms and a lump in my throat. Daniel nodded too but remained silent. I figured Dan was mostly lip reading anyway. Then he held up the paper and waved it in the air. When I leaned forward to verbally defend myself Dan shoved out his arm and stopped me from standing.
"This is a print-out of your semester grades and your final exam grades, which you figured would be a good idea to take on one day too, is this correct son?"
"Yes sir but I had a good reason for trying. You see I'm..."
He interrupted me when he raised his voice telling me...
"Save your breath son. I wanted to hand you this myself." He extended his arm over the desk and handed me the print-out showing all my classes, the final grades for each, and my final exam scores too. My name and date of birth were on the top but it still showed Mom as the adult contact and our home phone number.
It showed all my classes:
Course: Final Exam: Semester Grade: Teacher:
European History: A 100% A Mr Thompson
Physical Education: A 100% A Mr Gilson
Intro to Calculus A 100% A Ms Gibson
Literature A 100% A Ms Taft
English Composition: A 100% A Ms Wright
Speed reading: A 100% A Mr Donner
Spanish-year-2 A 100% A Mr Alvarez
Final Grade Point Average: 4.00
Status: Graduated. Remember to return your student ID card to your home-room advisor along with your parent-signed report card. You will not receive your ID card deposit refund if you do not return the card by the last day of school.
I nearly started to cry I was so happy. I handed it to Daniel. He looked it as if it was in a foreign language, then quickly rotated it right-side up, glanced at it then flipped it back to me, I folded it several times and pushed it into my back pocket. Daniel elbowed me in the arm just then as if I was showing off.
As I was reading the printout the dean reached over and lifted his phone and called the secretary. "Misses Miles you can bring his envelope in here now, please." He hung up and smiled again. Moments later the door opened, in walked a lady in a dark skirt and blouse handed him an envelope and left. He walked around the desk and handed it to me and then said, "Son, you can go home now, you're a high school graduate with honors. You've broken the record for highest/earliest final exam grades in the history of Amarillo High School, first student to ever to graduate with 100% correct on every test, three weeks early too! That's three records broken today. Congratulations!" He boasted loudly, but I was speechless and almost in tears.
I thought I heard him say I could leave school right now, like I guess I just graduated from high school, but he said it so easily his words flew right over my head. I stood up and took the envelope and started to reach over to shake his hand but Daniel gently bulldozed me to the door, out into the hallway, into the nearest bathroom, into the farthest stall, and locked the door. Then he stepped into me and put his arms around me tightly and we hugged each other with passion I've never experienced with him before. It was like happy/sad tears and feelings all mixed together.
We held each other in that stinky toilet stall for maybe two minutes and started to regain control. He took a step back from me still holding my upper arms, we stared in each other's eyes briefly. I had no idea how long it lasted but I knew the part of my life in which we wrote the Book of Daniel had just begun its final chapter. We both knew I was leaving and he was staying and it hurt, bad. For the first time in eleven years we were soon going to be far apart. It was a time now for 100% honesty.
"You're leaving me, aren't you?" He asked in his funky speech.
"Yes Daniel, soon." I said failing miserably trying not to cry.
"Will I see you again?" he sobbed.
"That depends on you. Anytime you wanna visit just email and I'll make sure you get to Galveston and back home safely, I give you my word."
"Oh yeah, how you gonna do that?"
"Daniel, let me repeat it." I slid my hands up to the sides of his face making sure he could only watch my mouth and nothing else. "I said, whenever you want to come to Galveston email me and I'll make it happen. I swear it."
"Oh yeah? Your Grandmother taught you how to shit a Greyhound Bus ticket too?"
I chuckled when he said that, "I give you my solemn word as your brother and friend."
"Yeah like how, you're just a kid?"
"I swear it to you."
"Really?"
"Dan, will you please listen to me, I SAID I PROMISE!" I yelled at his hearing aid.
"Fucker, that hurts. I'm not deaf you know." He replied sounding almost upset.
"No asshole, you are deaf!" We both just smiled into each other with sad eyes. We stared into each other's eyes, I wanted to kiss him and hold him until he didn't hurt any more. Using hands only I signed to him, `You're deaf as a rock.' Daniel smiled briefly with tears on his cheeks, he reached up and wiped his eyes.
Dan looked sadder than I've ever seen him before. Every time he tried to speak his chin started quivering and more tears appeared. I lowered my hands to his shoulders, he had both of his hands on my chest as if he was afraid to let go.
"I promise." I clenched my teeth and repeated with an almost angry tone. I tried to say it like I was a pissed off Clint Eastwood saying: `Go ahead punk...'
Dan looked for any signs of hesitation or doubt, but I was confident. I was dead serious and he felt it. He slid his hand up my shirt in front to the center of my chest to feel my heart and with that thumb he gently rubbed my tit.
"I promise." I said again as my chin crinkled since I was nearly crying again.
Tears started to drip down my cheeks again.
"I promise I'll get you to Galveston and back home safely any time you want to visit, just email me the dates." I barely got out the words.
Daniel remained still staring up into my eyes. I stood staring down into his. Then he pulled his hands off me and rested his face against my chest and put his hands around me and remained there for about two more minutes just holding onto me. I lowered my chin and kissed the top of his head several times like I was comforting my own child.
With a trembling tiny voice he told me, "I'm gonna miss you Robbie." I pulled him firmly back into me. That was the first time he ever called me Robbie.
After a short time Daniel stepped back and said, "I think I better go, I don't want another zero in gym." He mumbled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the excuse slip from the Dean to make sure he didn't drop it. He looked at me, pointed at me and said "89 percent!" which was a private joke between us. It was nice to see him smile briefly.
We walked to the sink and washed our faces. We smiled but never spoke and parted ways outside the bathroom. He was heading toward the boys locker room and I was heading for our hallway lockers.
I casually strolled to my locker and opened it to see if there was anything I wanted to save. I grabbed my AHS hoodie and a notebook and left the rest, which were just old graded homework papers. Then I pulled out the tiny card with my locker combination and locker number and set it on the shelf inside and kicked the door shut. I opened my wallet and took a one dollar bill and in pen I wrote, `I PROMISE!" on it and stuffed it into the vent slot on his locker, then walked toward the main entrance. Since class was in session I was the only person in the hallway, it felt weird. But down at the far end was the main entrance. I casually walked down the hallway as if my life had suddenly changed direction.
Security Guard: "Uh, you need to sign out to leave campus early!"
I just waved and walked outside into warm sunshine. Once I cleared the steps it felt like I was suddenly 20 pounds lighter.
`Huh.' I thought to myself. I wondered if this was what it felt like to be released from prison. Or maybe this is what it feels like the moment you die and your soul leaves your body.
I walked in mental silence to the bus stop on 34th at Bell St. and sat on the bench thinking about my conversation with Daniel, I mentally replayed images of his sad face. He probably felt like he was losing me for good. I hoped I convinced him that a trip to Galveston was only one email away, he doesn't know about my inheritance. I think that was the first time I actually hurt him, I felt bad for doing it.
Fifteen minutes later I was on a city bus heading east on 34th watching the world go by. Three blocks from the bus stop near our apartment complex I saw my grandmother walking Crow on the sidewalk surrounded by people petting the huge black dog. Nobody else knew he was a genuine hero. To Crow he was just a lead member of the pack and a good person. To me he was about my best friend ever. I was so proud of him, but I had no way of telling him that. I wondered to myself, how could you tell a dog you were proud of him? Or maybe I didn't need to, maybe he knew.
I got home before Gram and Crow. It took them another fifteen minutes. Crow ran in ahead of her looking everywhere as if he was looking for me. I saw him smile when he ran across the living room to greet me with our traditional nose touch. Gram seemed happy too. It looked like Crow had something wonderful to tell me so I kept my brain silent but never got any mental images from him. For some reason Crow seemed very excited to see me. I sat on the edge of my bed and held him briefly. He pressed his head into my stomach so I could scratch his neck and shoulders. After several quiet minutes with the dog I went out to the living room, Crow went to the kitchen.
We discussed dinner. She asked me about school tomorrow and my schedule for the rest of the week.
I told Gram, "I don't have to go to school anymore."
She looked at me as if she didn't understand so I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the crumpled report card paper and handed it to her.
Gram carefully unfolded the greenbar paper with her slightly shaky hands and stared at it for a while, then looked up into my eyes. I told her I needed her to sign it so I could turn it in with my student ID card later this week.
Gram gestured for me to hand her reading glasses, I grabbed em and handed em over. She slipped them on and read the paper again from top to bottom and looked me in the eyes while a broad smile formed on her face.
She stepped closer and rested her hand on my shoulder, and turned to the recliner and took a seat, pulled the side lever back to raise her feet. In the background I could hear Crow drinking water from his bowl.
Then she more carefully examined the print-out and asked if they gave me anything else. I walked to my room and found the stitched notebook and grabbed the envelope I got in the Dean's office and handed it to her. She pulled out the paper and read it carefully, while Crow walked up beside me and leaned his flank against my thigh.
Inside the envelope was a certificate with my name printed on it stating that I graduated from Amarillo High School with Honors today. She dropped it on the table beside the phone because the real jewel was my `report card.'
She looked at me and said, "Robbie, have a seat." She pointed to the sofa. She sat on the recliner and examined both papers yet again. Her head shook side to side as if nodding `no' and said, "I'll be!" She took off her glasses and looked at me briefly. Then she grabbed the cell phone and called Gramps. I heard it ring but I couldn't make out his voice.
"Hi. Yes, it's here and it's early. Yes, he said he got it in school today and just handed it to me just a moment ago. Yes. Oh no, more than that! No, I told you we worked on this for weeks but he did all the work, I just directed a little and convinced him he could do it. Yes, all of them. That's right dear, every class. Yes, totally. No I think the school is only about twenty years old I doubt it has before. Yes. Yes I will. Okay then. Love you too, Bye."
She pulled the phone from the side of her head, stared at the buttons and pressed # to make it hang-up. Gram set the phone down and spoke to me sitting on the sofa with the Great Dane by my side.
"Robbie your grandfather wants me to fax this to him from Piggly Wiggly tomorrow."
"Oh?"
"Yes son this is an unusually good report card, in fact I doubt this has ever been done at your high school before. Did they say anything?"
"Yes he said it was a triple record breaker."
My grandmother sat staring at the printout for a moment. "Well I'll be God damned!" she said loudly again.
"Robbie, if you're capable of grades like this than you'll have no problem in college."
"But Gram, I never took the SAT."
"You just let me worry about that young man! Anyone who can bury their mother and pull off a 4.0 GPA in the same semester doesn't need to take any God damn SAT in my book or your grandfather's!" She shouted staring with an angry expression on her face.
She grabbed her small personal phone book and picked up the handset again and called another number, paused for a moment, then said, "Hi, it's Leslie Davis. Extension 2213 please.... Yes, Hello? Well we got our grades today, it was a surprise to me too. Yes. Are you sitting down? Four point zero!" She shouted into the phone. They talked for maybe thirty more seconds then hung up.
"Who did you call?"
"That's a secret," she replied. My guess was she called someone in the Pentagon who was close to my mother.
"The dean told me I was done with school and didn't need to come back."
"Yes, I imagine he did! Did anyone say you broke several school records?"
"He said something like that but I was too distracted. It happened so fast."
"Well a 4.0 GPA at graduation isn't rare but to go from a 3.5 to a 4.0 in the same year as the death of your mother, and to do it all in one day, and to do it three weeks early on material you never had in class and miss as much time from classes as you did is tremendous accomplishment." She said with a huge smile! She raised the green bar paper printout and shook it again and boasted I should be proud of this for the rest of my life.
I felt all the fuss was a bit overblown but went along just to get past it.
Gram seemed so happy I thought she was gonna melt from sheer happiness. The more I got to know her the tougher and more lively she seemed to actually be, compared to the wrinkled grey haired person she was on the outside. She told me the exact same thing I wanted to tell Crow, she told me she was very proud of me and my mother would be thrilled.
While that conversation was going on I heard Crow in eating in the kitchen.
Gram asked about how all this stuff happened. I told her I was in the hallway outside the locker room and someone shouted my name so I stopped and saw Security was gesturing for me to stop, Dan and I were escorted straight to the Dean's office, when all that was going on I expected I was about to hear more really bad news. When she asked how long I was in his office I said "Really fast, maybe 100 seconds."
Gram chuckled loudly and added: "Another record broken for the fastest graduation ceremony in school history!" That made me laugh. My loud laughing made Crow stop eating and come to the living room door to look us over to make sure everything was okay. After a quick check he went back to eating his dinner.
I think Crow believes loud laughing is the same as angry shouting, that's why he had to come and look at us.
Then we discussed celebrating over dinner. It clicked in my brain that there were a bunch of dishes in the sink so I got up and rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher, while we discussed eating out tonight across the apartment. I took a paper towel and cleaned the foam off Crow's lower lip because he'll shake his body and pitch saliva foam all over the room. I just put a paper towel on my hand and rub it under his jaw bone from back to front so it wipes the foam off his face. Like I said, Great Danes are terribly sloppy eaters and drinkers. About ¼ of the water they drink dribbles back out on the floor.
We agreed on the Mexican place (Luceros) downtown at 7pm. I toasted two pop-tarts because we had about three hours to wait. She called to reserve a table because Luceros was very popular, 7pm was their earliest opening.
I went to my room and emailed Tom about my grades then Daniel. All I put in my emails to Dan the words, `I PROMISE' in the subject line.
While we waited 'til 6:40pm to leave I went through my room and gathered up all my high school related stuff and threw it all in the kitchen trash can. All I saved was my calculator and my favorite pens. I also saved a stitched notebook to start a journal since my life was going to change a lot starting tomorrow. I wanted to keep a record just in case. I saved my old AHS Sandies hoodie I purchased two years ago, it still fit but the sleeves were a little short. I honestly considered throwing it away but kept it. Now that I graduated I suddenly felt embarrassed to wear it in public but it might be good as a PJ top during the winter.
I spent the rest of the time before dinner thinking about all the stuff I didn't need to do any more. I even considered throwing away my alarm clock! I also kept seeing mental images of Daniel crying in my arms, and when I kissed the top of his head several times and smelled his hair and held him tightly to me.
I really don't think there's anyone on Earth who shows Daniel as much physical affection as me. It should come from his parents but they're usually cold-distant a-holes. But at least his mother shows empathy once in a while.
I realized it was going to take me a while to understand how much my life had changed the moment the Dean told me I was done with high school, it's over.' He never actually said those words but it took a while to register in my brain, and the more I thought about it the more I realized this really is a big event for me. I've been working toward this for the past 12 years. And in one instant it ended with no fanfare or celebration.' Graduating from high school was totally different than I expected. In fact, it happened in an instant and was over before I realized it even started!
I had mental images of wearing a gown with one of those stupid square flat-top hats; everyone tosses them in the air while some band played. None of that happened. Instead what I got was four minutes in a boy's room toilet stall with my friend Daniel, hugging him and listening to his awkward sounding cries.
Gram told me I was testing early so we could get to Galveston before all the public schools in Texas ended their school years and suddenly there were three hundred pimply faced freshmen looking for college student jobs. It also looked like I would never attend AHS graduation.
We ate dinner that evening at Luceros, just Gram and me. We were so happy, she smiled more than I've ever saw her smile on one day before. I think in some way I might have redeemed myself as the only non-university educated person in the family. I could honestly say that my grandparents were (briefly) very pleased. Everyone knew that even the dog had accomplished more in his short life than I had in nearly 19 years! But things were starting to change. My childhood ended with an astounding success.
At dinner she told me my grandfather wanted to go to all their neighbors to brag about my grades (and flash his copy of my report card) and we'd be back down in Galveston soon with the 150 pound giant dog. That evening she ordered a bottle of Champaign from the bar and poured me a short glass too, which was against the law in Texas but we did it anyway, this was a time to celebrate.
I asked Gram to explain to me what Champaign really was, and she said it was a white wine with naturally occurring carbonation. She said the name comes from a farming region in France and since our bottle came from California it was an imitation. I asked how it was made and she said they injected liquid carbon dioxide into the wine then quickly sealed the container. Champaign is naturally carbonated by adding yeast and sugar, but liquid carbon dioxide is probably faster and cheaper. In California they're making Champaign in factories, but in Champaign France it's made in a winery. She told me Champaign is a farming region of France 50 miles east of Paris and for a carbonated white wine to be legally called Champaign it had to be grown in that area, otherwise it had to use another name, like sparking white wine.
Ten days later I got a letter from UT Galveston with my formal acceptance to the university. It wasn't a form letter but an actual signed letter. I'm sure Gram had something to do with that too. She told me Gramps would drive over to hand deliver my tuition payment in a few days.
The next day Gram began wrapping up things at the apartment. Packing things into boxes and figuring out what we did or didn't need over the next three weeks. Crow was freaked out by the disappearance of most of our stuff and the movers arrived four times to haul away boxes going by UPS to their home on the island. I even packed my stereo, my tapes, and all my winter clothes.
Tom and I spent some time together since my schedule was totally flexible. I told him we were heading down to Galveston soon, I'd wait for him there.
I was actually confused by some of the stuff we shipped to the island, like kitchen stuff from home. I asked Gram why, knowing she had everything she needed at home. She reminded me I'd be living in an apartment, making my own meals very soon; the kitchen stuff was for me, not her. Then I felt stupid for even asking.
I told her all this stuff was new to me, and she chuckled and said she understood, she wasn't making fun of me, she was chuckling because she went through the exact same thing when she graduated from high school and started getting packed to go to college.
Her mother told her to save room in her truck for a toaster and some plates. Her mom taught her how to make almost a dozen simple meals around a simple loaf of Wonder bread, sliced baloney, hot dogs, cans of tuna or beef stew on paper plates and bowls in her dorm room.
It was Tuesday when I was suddenly graduated from school, and on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday that week I hung out at Star's Diner because I had nothing else to do. Gram gave me boxes to take to the UPS store to send to Gramps each day and after that chore I drove over to the diner and ordered something to munch on. I got to know Maria better (she might someday be my mother-in-law). Two days they were short staffed and asked me to help in the back kitchen washing dishes, pots and pans. I helped but refused any pay so they fed me instead. Tom and Maria were personally and financially involved in the diner and their very faithful customer base, which is why I never hesitated to help them. In my mind, volunteering at Star's was the same as helping Tom.
I worked the dishwasher and scrubbed big pots in the sink. Maria would come back every hour with a small plate of hot fries and a bottle of catsup and we'd sit down in the break room while the dishwasher was running and talk about anything and nothing, and share the fries, and smile a lot and we had a good time. It was sort of like our bonding moment. I noticed her accent was a lot stronger than Tom's. But I also noticed he had his mother's ears, forehead, lips, and chin. But Tom's eyebrows looked nothing like Maria's. Those days were the first time I really got to look Maria in the eyes and say anything on my mind. I got a vibe from her that she was still a little uncomfortable with the whole gay thing. It was like I could feel a force field between her and me, even though we sat on a bench facing each other munching fries with lots of salt and catsup.
I love their French fries and I had a chance to talk to Maria about them, since she deals with the suppliers. She told me in North America there's one potato crop yearly, that's it. Harvest is like October to December. The fries we eat all year are harvested during that small window of time. They sit in huge piles in climate controlled warehouses the rest of the year and are gradually processed into fries and tater tots. Maria said for prices to be fair in stores since tater tots are made from French fry scraps and waste they should sell for less than half what fries cost, but in some cases they're more expensive. We're doing them a huge favor buying Tots, otherwise that scrap would go to cattle feed (or a land fill) for a lot less per pound. She said they should pay us to take them, not the other way around.
She also told me that I need to be cautious about what meat products I buy in the store, like frozen hamburger patties. Almost every brand that is marked `100% pure beef' contain scrap waste-beef that is chemically removed from the bone with solvents, then washed and sold as filler to burger patty makers, hot dog, and sausage makers. They can legally call the scrap meat "Beef" in the USA. She refuses to use any meats containing thrown away meat, it also happens with pork, fish, and chicken. She said there is always chemical residue from the process and it's probably cancer causing, but supposedly below the safe limit. But she cannot serve it to customers knowing any solvent remains in the beef, so they pay more to the local butcher who runs a burger patty machine and makes theirs to order with 85% lean meat.
We also discussed how burger patties are made and the cuts of beef that go into the meat blender. She said it was basically the same process used to make chicken fingers and fish sticks. Tom grew up and never once ate super-processed meat or GMO plants in any form.
Maria told me when she was in the Army and ran a group of mess halls in Germany, they taught her how to make sausages. She never did it in Texas, but if they had room at Star's they'd make their own sausages too but the machines are too big and they need a smoker too (there are no forests in the panhandle to generate cheap wood for a smoker too). She also considered starting a factory locally making sausages because Amarillo has such a huge beef industry it would be ideal but she believed there was not enough local interest for a sausage factory to stay in business. And hardwood is too expensive here.
Friday afternoon I got the dishes all done and was at the counter and listening to four cowboy looking dudes at a booth behind me talking about dog fighting. I listened carefully and got a pen from my pocket and wrote stuff down on the napkin from what I overheard them say. When it looked like they were ready to leave I acted like I was leaving too and walked to my car but glanced at their license plates and wrote them down as they climbed into their extended cab Ford F250 trucks and rumbled off towards the highway.
Not knowing what else to do I called Detective Zeller and read her my notes and asked if I could be there if they raided the dog fight, she said probably not but she'd let me know.
Four days later a cop I never met before showed up at our apartment door. I opened it, he walked into a sea boxes and looking somewhat startled he said, "If you want to see it happen right now's the time." The cop said we needed to move quickly because the raid already started.
Gram had no idea what was going on so I said I'd be back soon, I'd explain then. I grabbed Crow's leash, hooked him up and climbed into the back of the police cruiser so we could take off quickly from the apartment parking lot. We drove to the interstate, then toward the east. We drove out past the edge of town to near a large cattle feeding operation east of the airport. I never saw so many cop cars except at Mom's funeral. There were lights everywhere, cops with shotguns were everywhere. Helicopters flew overhead, TV-news, police and Texas Rangers too.
Crow and I watched as Texas Rangers lead about forty guys in handcuffs into a prison bus. Then there were about ten dudes in shackles, they shuffled inside two vans without windows, unmarked white vans. Crow stood by my side leaning against me with a line of hair standing up on his back staring his Great Dane Power Death-Stare at the guys getting into the vans. I felt a very low pitched rumble of a growl come from his throat as we watched them step up inside the vans. Lucky for them I had a good grip on his collar.
A local police guy walked up to me asking if I was Lisa's son, I said I was. He put his hand on my shoulder and walked me to a black Cadillac SUV. We climbed in the back seat, his partner climbed in the passenger-side front seat.
"Robert, my name is Detective Weaver, this is Detective Wilkinson."
"Hello Sirs."
Weaver, in the driver's seat spoke first, "Robert, I know little has been explained to you or your grandparents about the on-going investigation into your mother's murder (I suddenly had pain in my stomach and chest). I want to get to the point right away. It seems y'all `er not as safe as we thought, and we know you just finished school but we need y'all back in Galveston, tomorrow if possible. It's for your own safety."
"Uh, whyzat?"
Then Wilkinson in the passenger seat spoke, "I know this is a lot to throw at you all at once, we're only thinking about your safety. There are some bad dudes in the Panhandle right now and it's hard sometimes for us to keep track on who's in town and who left, since you're moving soon anyway all we want is to speed things up, is that okay son?"
"Uh, I'm sure my grandma won't mind at all."
Then Weaver spoke again. "Okay we'll send two workers with badges to your apartment tomorrow to help y'all finish packin and as soon as that's under control y'need to get in the car and leave town right away."
"So I have no extra time to say goodbye to anyone?"
Weaver continued, "You can do that over the phone from Galveston, but we're talking bad dudes and your safety so best thing right now is for y'all to leave Amarillo as fast as possible, I don't want to scare you but it's not safe right now. Your comin here was probably not a good idea either but we're takin that up with P.D."
"Okay, whatever then."
"Fine." Wilkinson seemed ready to go.
"How do I get home?"
Agent Weaver continued, "I'll take you. And by the way, thanks for the tip to Sergeant Zeller, your information helped us close a two year investigation into drug sales, and dog fighting out here in the county. Those bad guys we hauled off have been wanted for years. Your call lead to the capture of twenty one fugitives."
I leaned back into my seat to ponder what they told me. Crow rested his chin on my leg. Agent Wilkinson got out of the car. We took off down the dusty dirt road for the interstate highway and headed back into town. I asked if we could stop at Tom's, the detective said okay, it was on the way.
We parked in Tom's driveway (all I said was `Tom' and he knew the address), both cars were there so I knew it was time. All the cops in Amarillo know his mother.
We both walked to the door, Maria freaked out at first thinking something horrible happened at the diner.
Tom and I went to his room and shut the door while Agent Weaver and Maria talked. Turned out Weaver spoke fluent Spanish and they talked food and really hit it off. Maria was sort of a food celebrity in Amarillo.
"Tom, I got news."
"I figured out something bad must be up when you showed up with a G-man as your chauffer."
"Tomas I have to leave town, stuff's happened I'll explain later but we need to leave for the island tomorrow. I'm so sorry."
"Can I see you again?" He asked but it was a weird thing to say.
"So like our plan, as soon as you graduate, you get packed and send me an email and we'll get you and your stuff or you can drive down. It's totally up to you. Esta fine?"
"No! No esta fine! My heart is breaking asshole!" He said with teary eyes.
"Tomas, I'm only moving across the state and everything is ready for you down there too. Like I said, just let me know if you need my help or just drive down. Okay?"
He stood there looking down at the floor but I could see his face and ears were turning red with anger. With upset on his voice he mumbled, "I'm gonna miss you, Roberto."
"I'm gonna miss you too, and your boss."
Silence. We stood holding each other in his bedroom in silence for a brief moment.
"Look I gotta run." I muttered.
"Fuck, I hate this."
"As soon as you're ready, call me or drive down?" I asked.
"Okay." Tom said with a sad tone in his voice.
"I gotta go. And finish your paperwork for the university and get it in the mail right away!"
Tom stared into my eyes, his last reading of my soul and my real intent. I stared back unblinking. Then he leaned into me and kissed me on the lips.
"Asshole." He said softly as his lips pulled back from mine.
"I'll explain everything when you get to the coast, you'll understand then but we're not safe here. That's why Weaver's here too."
"Wow, it sounds serious. I think Management is flirting with that cop!"
I hugged him and headed out his bedroom door. I walked to the living room and told Weaver I was ready. He stood up shaking Maria's hand. We left with the two of them standing in their driveway waving bye. I wanted to cry but was glad at least Crow was with me. When I walked into the living room Crow was sitting on their sofa just like a person.
We never spoke when he dropped me off in the parking lot outside my apartment. I went inside to the stacks of boxes. Gram was sitting on the sofa watching the news on TV about the huge raid. She told me I should come watch, I told her I needed to walk the dog and pretended to be disinterested.
I walked Crow around the apartment complex and stopped to use the run, and spent the rest of the night with Gram packing stuff and making lists of things in which box. She reminded me all the furniture we brought from the house was going to charity tomorrow. All we were bringing to the island was our clothes and our bathroom stuff. We already retired my old laptop and I was using Mom's computer but it was showing signs of age and I wanted one with a color VGA screen instead of the old amber display.
We both went to bed early. I had a hard time sleeping but Crow didn't. I woke him up around midnight and asked him to come sleep with his head on the pillow next to mine, he moved without any fuss, I think he knew I was stressed and needed to hold him like a body pillow.
I was on my right side facing Crow. He was on his left side facing me. His nose was maybe twelve inches from mine. I put my arm over his side and apologized for his loss of Mom and the moving and all the weird stuff and changes. I thanked him for being an extra good dog and told him about six times that I loved him. He picked up his head and touched my chin with the tip of his nose. I said `thanks.' I held his right paw as we stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes, then I told him repeatedly that I loved him and he was a good dog. I started to tear-up.
We fell asleep facing each other like two dogs in a pack.
In my dreams Crow never appeared as a dog, he always appeared as an old man, like an elderly member of some Plains Indian tribe wearing minor face-paint (on his forehead) but no headband. Tonight I had a dream of Soaring Crow the Indian leader as an elder wise-man, maybe a spiritual leader.
He took me by the arm and walked me to a nearby river where we sat and talked about life and his tribe. Then Soaring Crow told me something he never said before in any of those dreams, he said he loved me and appreciated all I did for him in his dog life and felt truly blessed and looked forward to when we could meet as men so he could shake my hand. I lowered my head and felt confused because there he was seated beside me totally looking like a man. The land around us looked to me like we were somewhere between Oklahoma and North Dakota or Montana.
Then in my dream Daniel and Tom approached us on the riverfront footpath wearing only buffalo skin shorts. They sat beside us sharing water from their flasks. We sat by the river for hours touching knees and talking about arrow tips and our horses. We talked about the buffalo herds and Indian scouts trying to locate them nearby.
Soaring Crow said their scouts watched the ground because a herd of buffalo trampled everything and left a wide trail of smashed weeds and manure behind them. He said you can smell them a long way off if you stay down-wind. Sometimes you can feel the herd running far away if you are flat on the ground.
Then my dream ended.
I felt at peace.
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